Chapter Text
Arthur thought he knew what he was getting into when he agreed to do such a thing, mainly because it wasn’t the first time. Still, one thing was being in a normal PR relationship, and another was being in one with none other than Merlin Emrys. Oh, how does he regret the moment he told the studio he would do it, but at the time he still hadn’t met the guy and thought all he would have to do was let the paparazzi take a bunch of pictures, do a couple of interviews and then let his agent release a press communicate announcing that they had broken up. Easy, right? Wrong. So, so wrong. Turns out that “the most talented welsh actor since Michael Sheen”, as The Sun once called him, was an utter and complete asshole.
It all started at the first script reading for a new film that Arthur had agreed to shoot. It was one of those chick flicks that airs on a random Sunday afternoon on Channel 5. Not much for a star of the size of the younger heir of the Pendragon family, but it was his first gig since he had come out as bisexual earlier that year, and he wanted to do something he had never done before… like starring in a romcom about two men who fall in love and re-discover the spirit of Christmas. Okay, maybe it was a glow down from the Hollywood action super-productions he was used to, but making it in the industry as a queer person is hard, and he was aware of it. That’s why he didn’t even bother to ask who his co-stars would be before taking the part, not like it would have changed anything.
Going back to the script reading, it was only 8:00 am and Arthur had already spilt his coffee all over himself, slipped and fell on the street, and forgot his scarf… and he hadn’t even made it yet to the meeting. Fantastic. After taking five minutes off to scream at God in an empty parking lot, Arthur found himself ready to socialize and finally met with the rest of the cast. To his surprise, he was met with a familiar face in the shape of Guinevere.
“Arthur! Oh, how lovely to find you here.”
He, however, didn’t have a chance at answering, as the director, Mr Kilgharrah, chose that moment to show up. Mouthing Gwen a quick “let’s speak later”, Arthur took a seat in his designated spot next to a dark-haired boy that he hadn’t noticed until that moment. How that was possible he had no idea, because the moment he laid his eyes on him, the only thing he could think about was the deep blue that had met them. That was surely Merlin.
“Hi, I’m Merlin. Emrys.”
Yep, that was him.
“Arthur Pendragon, a pleasure to meet you,” replied Arthur.
“Who even says a pleasure to meet you? What are you, eighty?”
Okay, now that was rude.
"And what are you? Fourteen?"
"Look, man-" started Merlin again.
"You two, are you finished, or do you need another fifteen minutes to catch up? " interrupted Kilgharrah. “Mr Pendragon, I expected more professionality on your part.”
Like that, and without waiting for a response, he began the reading. Arthur couldn’t be more pissed. It was his first day, and he was already being scolded by the director because of a lanky man with ears too big for his head. Fucking fantastic.
After three long hours of reading and hearing poorly delivered corny lines, the meeting had officially ended and Arthur was free to go. Or so he thought.
“Emrys, Pendragon,” called Kilgharrah, “Stay for a bit, will you? We need to talk.”
How odd.
“As you know, our budget is a bit tight at the moment,” he started, “So in terms of publicity, we have no publicity. That’s why we need to find another way to gain attention from the media, and what better media than tabloids? Obviously, you both have already agreed to this, but I would like to go over the details before the shooting starts. Is that okay?”
Arthur nodded. Merlin looked lost.
“Great,” continued the man, “I am talking about a full-on PR relationship: getting 'caught' by the paps, public statements, social media presence, and a very public break up. That last one after the press tour ends, of course.”
By the shocked expression on Merlin’s face, Arthur would have sworn that it was the first time he had heard the plan, which would be impossible seeing as it was literally on their contract. Arthur himself had even had Morgana, his sister-turned-agent, check everything to make sure it was in order, so there was no reason for the younger boy to be this surprised.
“Wait, wait, wait. When have I agreed to this? Because I don’t remember consenting to be in a relationship with some posh prat I just met!” Merlin remarked, “No offence,” he added.
Arthur took offence.
“Hey, just so you know, many men and women would die for a chance at dating me, consider yourself lucky. Plus, this was expressed quite clearly on our contracts, I knew you were simple, but I assumed you knew at least how to read.”
“Well, fuck you,” was all he got as a response.
Before things could escalate further, Mr Kilgharrah decided to intervene.
“Look, as I said before, it is a fairly common thing, and that’s because it works. Sometimes we all have to make sacrifices for the greater good.”
“The greater good? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Well, Merlin seemed physically incapable of not asking stupid questions.
“It means what you just heard; that is the only way to promote the film and thus we must, at least, try to tolerate one another for a few months if we want this to work,” chimed in Arthur, already exasperated.
“That doesn't make any sense!”
“It would if you stopped to think for a second!”
“Clotpole!”
“That’s not even a real word!”
“Of course it is!”
Only when the door slammed shut did they realise that the director had decided to leave and let them deal with their little “friendly disagreement” alone. Taking that as his sign to leave, Arthur got up and proceeded to walk towards his car, completely ignoring a dumbfounded Merlin, who struggled to process all that had happened. Arthur found him to be very annoying, to be honest. It was his first big movie and it showed. He was already used to how things work in the industry, having been born into a renowned family of actors and actresses. Still, he got nervous easily and liked to give his all in every role, as small as it were. With the newbie there, that looked quite difficult. It looked like he had been born solely to annoy Arthur, and it was a shame.
He had to admit Merlin was quite handsome. Maybe if they met under different conditions, they would have gone out on a date, kissed, fallen in love, moved together, got two cats (that they probably would have ended up naming Thermomix or something like that because Merlin is a bit weird), and lived happily ever after, but in the real world there wasn’t place for these fantasies and Arthur had no other choice but to accept that this was how the rest of his sad and miserable life was going to be. At least until the press tour ends. God, Arthur really does regret having been born.