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Whats in a name?

Summary:

Mysterion has a conversation with his 'lady in the chair' about her name, then they get coffee.

Notes:

As I said in my last superhero fic; "I think its important to note, I not have seen to much of the show South Park, but I put on a play through of Fractured But Whole for background noise and now its got me in a vice grip, so with the power of fan wikis and to much fan fic i present, this!"

Work Text:

It was a pleasant late fall evening in the city and Kenny, done up as Mysterion, had just had the stuffing beaten out of him, again. Luckily for him, his days of running around solo blindly looking for crime were over. He had a lady in the chair, one who was happy to jump to his aid; a bright communications major who occasionally ran out to help when he was getting the shit beat out of him particularly hard, like this particular fight. 

 

He didn't mind her help, quite the opposite in fact, she was great company on patrols, kept him from awkward run ins with the police and was a massive help in combat, but there was one thing that kept him from fully accepting her as a partner in heroism…

 

“CG?” Kenny groaned, still splayed out flat on the roof of the random building the pair had climbed up to recover post fight, 

 

CG hummed in response, not looking up from her phone, likely swiping between the city's camera feeds. Her large purple hoodie and hot pink leggings were ripped and stained with blood, and one of the wooden sticks she sued as a weapon stuck out from the hoodies kangaroo pouch,

 

“You really, Really , need a better name.” Kenny had been fighting her on this name for months…

 

“Whats so wrong with Call Girl?” …and CG really saw nothing wrong with it.

 

“Everything, every-fucking-thing.” Kenny sat up, “Did you really not look it up?”

 

“Of course I did!” CG Glared at him, “There’s no other hero using it!”

 

“For a very good reason!” 

 

“I’m not changing it!” She put her hands on her hips and glared at Kenny from behind her tinted goggles,

 

“You really should!”

 

“Give me one good reason!”

 

“Dude, just google it!”

 

“Just tell me yourself!” 

 

“You wont believe me!”

 

CG huffed, going back to her phone. The pair were silent for a few moments, before CG growled,

 

“Oh god damn it.”

 

“Told you.” 

 

“Well you tell me a better name then!”

 

“Phonetic, Textus, Lady WiFi, Wiretap, Avicula, Informatrice, Locito,” Kenny pulled a tiny notebook from his cloak and pointed at it, “I have more, do you want me to go on?” 

 

“What do half of those even mean?”

 

“Well Phonetics is the study of speech sounds,”

 

“That was a rhetorical question Mysty.” CG pinched the bridge of her nose,

 

“But its also a mashup of Phone and Fanatic, and Textus, Avicula and Locito are all latin,”

 

“Mysterion its to early for this.”

 

“Meaning Web, Small Bird and Wiretap respectively,”

 

“Mysterion,”

 

“Lady WiFi and Wiretap are pretty self explanatory,”

 

“I can and will throw you off this building.”

 

“And Informatrice is french for Informant, feminine of course.”

 

CG was silent for a moment, “Did you just pull those out of your ass?”

 

“Technically yes, but they had to get there somehow.”

 

“You were brainstorming name ideas for me?”

 

“Look I get very bored on solo patrols and you really need a better name.”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be this eerie, intimidating figure, dispensing justice form the shadows?” she smirked,

 

“I am!”

 

“Yet you’ve spent patrols brain storming superhero names for your Cam Girl.”

 

“Your doing this on purpose aren't you?”

 

“Another one!?”

 

Kenny snickered before standing and stretching out a little,

 

“You up for coffee CG?”

 

“Ooooo, Tweek bros?”

 

“Do I go anywhere else?” Kenny smiled

 

“Good point,” She smiled, before gently knocking elbows with him, “ready?” 

 

“Ready.”

 

~~~~~~

 

“Hey, welcome to-” Tweek perked up behind his counter, “oh hi Mysterion!

 

Tweek bros, full title Tweek Bros 2.0, was the consequences of Tweek’s desperate attempt to get as far out of South Park and away from his parents as much as he could. His Dad had wanted him to take over the shop, while Tweek wanted to follow Craig to college, so they made a compromise in the form of a sister location for the coffee shop. Just their luck, since the college, either in an honest attempt to be more involved with the community or in a vapid attempt to seem that way, was in the process of transferring all of the chain eateries and coffee shops off campus and filling their spots filled with smaller, family operated businesses. There had been quiet the stand off as the only coffee shops vying for the space were big chains, at least until Tweek Bros asked.

 

Tweek Bros 2.0 was insanely popular, for two big reasons, 1) cheap coffee on campus and 2) it was open practically 24 hours a day, since Tweek was practically nocturnal most days. This made it a favorite of college studies studying for classes, and the two superheros who lived on campus. 

 

As was typical for 3 am, Tweek bros was practically empty, save the superhero pair, Tweek himself and a figure passed out sitting the counter, coffee cup in hand and face down in study materials.

 

“Evening.” Kenny growled, doing his best to keep the Mysterion composure together,

 

“Whose your friend?!” Tweek asked, already working on the typical order. Kenny was in pretty much every night, and had gotten into the habit of bringing CG her coffee, so Tweek was well acquainted with their order.

 

“I’m work shopping it.” she sighed, 

 

“Ah, well then, one cold brew with vanilla shots and the most complicated Coffee order I've ever encountered, second only to what my friend Wendy orders.” Tweek grinned as Kenny paid, 

 

CG pursed her lips, holding back a snicker, “do you say that every time?”

 

“He does.” 

 

“It would genuinely take more time to read out your whole order.” Tweek smirked and CG shrugged noncommittally, before the passed out figure sitting at the counter suddenly woke with a shout;

 

“ROTATOR CUFF INJURY!” the figure cried, leaping up and back, in the process revealing himself to be Craig, Tweek's boyfriend.

 

Kenny forced himself to keep a straight face as CG covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing. Tweek gently patted a very confused and embarrassed Craig’s hand,

 

“You need to take an actual break from studying, man.” Tweek smiled, taking the probably empty coffee from his grip,

 

Craig just stared blankly at Kenny and CG, not moving to take Tweek’s hand as the coffee shop was bathed in an uncomfortable silence, broken only by the faint hiss of the coffee machines and low buzz of the fridges in the back. 

 

“Oh by the way, I-uh well I had something to ask you guys,” Tweek's anxiety suddenly spiked, “well I only planned on asking Mysterion because hes the only one I ever see but now workshopping it is here and you can totally say no I wont be offended and didn't want to-!” Craig suddenly reanimated, taking tweeks hand in his own and squeezing,

 

“He wanted to ask if he could name a drink after you, Mysterion.” Craig covered, voice low and tired, “Probably pinkie pie too if shes cool with it.”

 

Kenny was taken rather off guard, he sputtered for a moment, before clearing his throat and reequipping the gravely bass he used as Mysterion.

 

“Uh, yeah sure that's fine with me,”

 

“Same here!” CG grinned, 

 

“I’ll get this ones name to you once she picked a better one.” 

 

“Oh. Shes workshopping…her name….yeah that makes a lot more sense.” Tweek suddenly blushed

 

“Wait,” CG suddenly cut in, “Tweek did you think my name was Workshopping it?”

 

Tweek suddenly looked mortified, “I am SO SORRY!”

 

CG and Craig suddenly began to cackle, as CG began to assure Tweek that he was fine, it was late and it was really funny.

 

Kenny forced himself to not smile, knowing he’d have his chance to make fun of Tweek later, when Craig inevitably told the whole group.

 

“We should probably get back out there.” Kenny growled, 

 

“Yeah, alright.” CG smiled, “Bye Tweek, have a good night.”

 

“Stay safe you two.” Tweek sighed, and the pair left, out into the night to keep their silent vigil, newly refreshed with caffeine.

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