Chapter Text
It has been five years since the Krang attack, it has been five since the turtles had seen Leo, and it has been five years since they failed to rescue him from the prison dimension.
It's been two years since they realized Leo wasn't coming back, it's been two years since they laid him to rest. In the eyes of the remaining brothers, Leo was dead, and they hated to admit that.
Each member of the family took this differently.
Splinter took it very hard, spiralling back into his own depression. He had lost one of his sons the same way he had lost his mother. He had thought the Hamato lineage of sacrifice had died alongside The Shredder but clearly it had not, as Leo was gone.
Raph had taken up the leadership position again after Leo was gone. It was rough at the start, and the brothers had felt more disorganized than they ever had before.
Donnie had locked himself away in his room at the start of everything and he became less vocal. He didn’t cope with it at all. He was also angry at Leo for leaving the way he did, but the anger eventually simmered out, leaving a sense of emptiness in the softshell turtle.
Even Draxum had tried to help find a way to safely get Leo out of the prison dimension to no avail.
And Mikey? Well, Mikey could never forgive himself for failing to save Leo. He had mystic hands, mystic powers, but he couldn’t reach his brother. He wasn’t able to pull him free, and the damage from just making one portal was so significant that Mikey wasn’t sure if he could ever open another portal again. Even if he could, he promised he wouldn't.
One thing the brothers learned in the past five years was that life only stops for the one that died.
At first, they never did stop holding out hope that one day Leo would return. They never stopped thinking about ways to get him back. Once, they considered using the key again, but everyone quickly realized it would be the worst decision. Not only could it let the Krang return to earth, but it would also upset Leo. It would have made it seem like his sacrifice was worthless, that he was kept for years in whatever hell the prison dimension offered to him, and in their own selfishness, his family would have reversed all of that.
But a ninja’s greatest weapon was hope, so that is what they held on to as they waited for him.
Or at least that is what Mikey did.
Mikey had decided to wake up early, well earlier than usual, as he was one of the first out of bed each day, only beaten by his eldest brother. He figured since he was up he should get started on breakfast.
It didn't take long for Raph to join Mikey in the kitchen. "Morin' Mikey," he greeted as he took his seat at the table.
“Good morning Raph,” Mikey replied, not looking up from the food he was preparing.
"You're up early."
"Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep, good news is breakfast will be done soon."
Just as Mikey was finishing up making breakfast, Donnie entered the kitchen dragging his feet, it was clear that he had stayed up too late and woke up too early.
"Good morning, Dee," Mikey greeted as Donnie walked past him and towards the coffee pot, "and perfect timing! I just finished making breakfast."
Donnie's reply was a grunt as he poured himself a cup of coffee and then made his way over to the table, pulling out his phone once he was seated to catch up on a nights worth of notifications.
"So, what are you guys up to today?" Raph asked as Mikey was preparing his brother's plates.
"Got some work to do on the tank today," Donnie replied, not looking up from his phone as Mikey placed a plate of food in front of both him and Raph.
"I'm going to Barry's place later today," he told his brothers as he took his own seat.
"Why?" Raph questioned.
Mikey knew his reason would upset his brothers, but Mikey never enjoyed lies or keeping things from this family, which left him with one option, and that was to be honest. "I want to research portals again, see if we missed anything."
As Mikey expected, neither Raph nor Donnie liked this, it being the most evident in the face of the former of the turtles with his ever-present chasm.
"Mikey… we've all looked through those books half a dozen times, and there was always nothing," Donnie explained.
"We can’t be sure we just-"
"It's a waste of time," Donnie snapped, cutting Mikey off.
"Hey," Raph started in a warning tone, "no fighting at the table." Raph then turned towards Mikey, "but Donnie's right, Mikey, you and Draxum have read those books cover to cover, there isn't anything there."
"We don't know that for sure," Mikey replied.
"We do and it's statistically unlikely," Donnie explained as he placed his phone on the table. "Mikey, we've tried everything, mystic stuff, science, mystic science," Donnie used his fingers as he listed the items off, "all of them got us to a dead end. Face it, Mikey, Leo is gone, we can't get him back."
Mikey bit his lips as he felt tears welling in his eyes, "you guys really have given up on Leo then."
"Wha- Mikey, no, neither of us said that," Raph fumbled with his words as he spoke.
"Yes, you have!" Mikey quickly stood up, causing his chair to fall back and crash against the floor, "I meant what I said back then! Leo never gave up on us, I'm not giving up on him!"
"We don't even know if he's still alive, Mikey," Donnie faced Mikey, and in that quick second the box turtle caught a glimpse of pain in his eyes.
"He's alive," Mikey replied, his gaze drifting down, "I can still feel him." He placed his hand on his plastron, over his heart.
"I still feel him."
~~~~~~
Leo missed his family.
This was why Leo still clutched the photo of them close, the one thing he had from the world beyond the prison dimension, though now the picture had significantly faded, even though nothing else in the prison dimension seemed to change.
Sometimes, Leo would be left alone, long enough for his wounds and broken bones to heal. Close to death, but never enough to kill him, as death was not a mercy the Krang was willing to gift Leo.
He wondered how many scars were on his body now, the only ones he could really see are the ones on his arms and hands, and the few chips and cracks along his plastron. He knew the overall damage was bad because he had heard all of his bones break at least once. It was a sound he was used to, however awful that was.
And how long had Leo been here?
It was hard to keep track of the days in the darkness of the prison dimension. Here, there was no sun, no moon, no wind or rain. It was just a barren place full of Krang junk that he drifted through endlessly, an infinite and quiet void. He wasn’t a big fan of the silence before this, but now he hated it.
However, all the pain was worth it for Leo, it was nothing compared to the apocalypse he almost brought. If this is what he had to do to keep his family safe, he would continue to endure it.
~~
Mikey had finally reached Draxum’s apartment. It had been a few weeks since he had visited his other dad. Things in general became rather weird after the Krang incident. The warrior alchemist made sure Mikey knew the dangers of the mystic powers he now possessed, and even more so hammered it in that Mikey cannot make any more portals until he is older, more powerful, and properly trained, and even then, if Mikey was fully willing to accept all of the consequences of using said powers.
And, years ago when Leo was first lost, Draxum did try to help. Mikey remembered him doing all types of research into bringing Leo back, but the amount of info on the prison dimension was bare bones, and the art of making portals was far too risky. It was six months after Leo’s disappearance when Draxum told the rest of the family that he couldn’t find a way to save Leo.
Mikey recognized that as the first moment that his family seemed to doubt if they could actually save Leo. Mikey never shared that sentiment. He would get Leo back.
He knocked on the door and waited for his other father to answer it. He figured it being the weekend that Draxum would still be home. Actually, Mikey wasn’t fully sure what Draxum did when he wasn’t working at the school. But, so long as the Yokai was staying out of trouble, he figured it didn’t matter that much.
When Draxum opened the door he was wearing his usual lounge around-home tattered robe with a coffee mug in hand, “Michelangelo, I wasn’t expecting you today.”
“It’s a surprise visit,” Mikey explained as he pushed his way past Draxum and into the apartment.
“Of course, and to what do I owe the honour,” Draxum replied in an unassumed tone, moving out of the way as Mikey passed him before he closed the door.
Mikey took a quick breath in. He was pretty sure this next part wasn’t going to go all that well. “I…wanted to look through your books again.”
Draxum sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “again with this Leonardo nonsense.” He walked towards Mikey into the living room and placed his mug on the coffee table. “It’ll be a waste of your time, we’ve been over this numerous times.”
“I know,” Mikey faced Draxum, “But this time…this time it’s different.”
Draxum cocked his eyebrow at Mikey, waiting for the turtle to explain himself.
“I… I had a dream about Leo a few nights ago,” Mikey explained, pulling a book from the bookshelf in the living room, “he was still in the prison dimension,” he opened the book and began flipping through the pages, “he was real beat up but there was no mistaking it… he’s alive, and this time, I will save him.”
Draxum was silent for a moment, then he sighed and grabbed a different book. “This is still an impossible task, the prison dimension was designed to be rather inescapable.”
“I know,” Mikey sat down, his beak still buried in the book, “you’ve told me that before.”
“I still feel the need to remind you.”
“I know.”
Then there was a silence as the two of them read, the only sounds being the occasional flip of a page. Mikey really wasn’t much of a reader, preferring comic books to novels, and these books weren’t even novels. It was a lot of mystic terms that he had learned over the years. Not just as he worked with Draxum to find a way to get Leo back, but just overall as Draxum tried to teach Mikey more about his mystic powers after the Krang invasion. Draxum was rather surprised to learn Mikey could even possess such mystic powers, but that was years ago. Sure, he was still learning how to work them, but slowly he was getting better control of them. Mikey figured it would be sooner rather than later that he surpassed Draxum in the way of mystic powers.
Thinking of all this, Mikey looked up from his book to see Draxum scanning through another one. He smiled before turning back to his book, “thanks for the help, dad.”
Draxum didn’t respond with words just an approving grunt, which Mikey understood was an affectionate acknowledgement of what he had said.
~~~~~
Donnie sighed as he closed the door to the garage. It smelt the way one would expect a garage to smell, like oil and metal. The softshell never minded it, it was like a signal to this brain saying it was time to work.
Today was different. Donnie's brain was too full and too scattered. His body was tense. He wasn't sure if he was angry, or sad, or both, or some third emotion he couldn't pinpoint.
In the mess of feelings and senses he punched the tank, sending a dull metallic thud throughout the room.
And it was a dumb idea, because now his dumb already sore arm hurt more. He just stared down at this hand, which was tingling.
And what felt like a tear suddenly fell from his chin to the floor, and he took a shaky breath in. He was crying, which only made the situation worse.
As these emotions and thoughts overwhelmed him, he found himself sitting on the floor, his knees to his plastron, trying his best to make himself as small as possible.
He wished these past years were some awful nightmare he would wake up from soon. He wanted the image of the opened portal to be fake, the memory of Leo being so close to freedom only to be pulled back by the Krang, the fear in his twin's eyes as he was pulled further and further from safety. The way the portal fizzled out as Mikey could no longer keep it up.
Donnie didn't want Leo to be dead, he wanted his brother to be alive and well. But Donnie wasn't like Mikey. He wouldn't just lie to himself when faced with the facts.
And the facts said Leo was dead.
~~~~
It was in the early hours of the evening when Mikey got back to the lair. His brothers had already ordered a pizza and were mostly finished with their share.
“Hey guys,” Mikey greeted in a tired tone as he grabbed a slice and sat down in his favourite seat.
“How’d it go with Draxum?” Raph asked.
“Didn’t find anything today,” Mikey replied, “but I’m going back tomorrow.”
Raph and Donnie exchanged worried glances.
“You sure that’s a good idea, Mikey?” It was Donnie who asked this time.
Mikey nodded, placing his hand over his chest, “I told you, I’m not giving up on Leo.”
~~~~~~~~~~
Slowly, Leo felt his fatigue overtake him. He wasn't sure if his inner clock had kept up with time from the outside world at this point, just that sometimes he would get tired, and when that happened, he tried to find a place to rest for the night, and if he could, he would sleep.
And lucky for Leo, this would be one of those nights as he drifted closer to some of the debris from the Krang tech around him. Once he reached it, he pressed his shell against what he guessed used to be a wall and looked up.
If not for the horrifying two facts that he was both trapped here and constantly at threat of being tortured by the Krang, the prison dimension was rather beautiful, like a smaller galaxy full of stars that Leo had never been able to see from the streets of New York.
A bit of a silver lining in all this.
But as he stares up, his mind wandered back to his family. He wondered if they were okay after everything. He knew they were alive after he sent himself to the prison dimension, as he got to see their faces for a few short minutes when they had managed to open the portal. Even though it didn't save Leo from the prison dimension, it gave him a final glance at his family. He wanted to be happy for that, happy that he was able to save them.
It was always moments like this when Leo would pull out his faded photo. It was his most important possession.
Leo leaned his head back and closed his eyes, allowing his mind to be full of memories of New York, and as he did, he felt a warmth in his soul. It reminded him of the feeling of opening his portals.
His portals… that was part of what led to this, his stupid actions that let the Foot get the key in the first place, but now wasn't the time to think about that. He just wanted to focus on what made him happy.
He wanted to focus on his family. He felt so long as he remembered them, his connection to them would remain as strong as ever.
Then, as Leo started to drift off, he felt that same warmth in his soul again.