Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Frye! Put on your fucking shoes!" Shiver yelled, tossing the shoes across the bathroom to her. There wasn't a large distance between the two of them, so the shoes ended up hitting Frye directly in the stomach.

"You can’t make me!" She responded by kicking them away.

"Come on! Even Big Man is wearing shoes!"

"Ay! (But they're really hard to put on!)"

"He isn’t even wearing a shirt!"

Shiver groaned and rolled her eyes, but turned back towards the mirror. She picked up an eyeliner pencil and leaned over the bathroom counter to apply it.

All of them sat in the small bathroom in the Anarchy Residence. Shiver was standing in front of the mirror, working on her makeup, while Frye sat on the floor, against the door, adjusting her sari. Big Man was sitting in the bathtub, trying to put dress shoes on his pelvic fins.

"Why does boss even want us to be so fancy? Ugh, it’s cramping our style." Frye said as she adjusted the fabric of her sari so it fit across her shoulder. "I mean, it's nice to finally wear this. But also, why so fancy?"

"I think it has something to do with the new music collab." Shiver brushed off their kimono, adjusting the obi so it was comfortable.

"Ay? (You were listening to Marie?)

"No." Big Man sighed at Shiver’s response. "All I remember is that she wants us to be fancy. Or ‘look presentable’ as she put it."

"How are we not presentable normally?" Frye asked.

"Well, some of us don't wear shoes."

"Ay! (I DON'T EVEN HAVE FEET!)"

"Ugh! I wasn't talking about you, Big Man."

"Listen. If I started wearing shoes, you'd start complaining about how tall I am. Again."

"Shut up."

Frye merely raised her arms in defeat.

Standing up, she made one final adjustment to the shawl of her sari, then made her way out of the bathroom. She grabbed her clutch from the coffee table, and began sorting through everything she intended to bring. It was slightly heavier than expected, but she just shrugged it off.

Shiver was next out of the bathroom, going to gather her things and carefully sorting them into the pockets made by the folds of her kimono.

"You got everything?" Frye asked. Shiver nodded, giving the whole thing one final adjustment to make sure it looked right. Her kimono’s base was a brilliant blue, with the bottom section flowing out into an ocean scene, complete with sharks poking out of the waves.

She'd also changed the faded red on her fingertips to a much brighter shade, as if they'd been dipped in blood.

It contrasted nicely with the outfit Frye had chosen.

The bodice of her sari was a bright yellow, and her shawl was a sheer orange that glittered under the light. Her shawl was draped over one of her shoulders, fell across her body, and came down to about the length of her skirt.

Frye wore the skirt at her lower waist, baring her midriff. The trim of her skirt was a bright gold, with indigo patterns lining it. Altogether, it created a simple but elegant outfit for the event.

Her clutch matched, being a pale yellow with jewels encrusting nearly every inch of it.

"You look nice, Stir-Frye," Shiver said.

"You’re not too bad yourself," Frye replied.

A quiet, distant thump cut them off.

"Ay? (Why isn’t this working?)" Big Man muttered from the bathroom. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

Shiver and Frye quickly dropped what they were doing and whipped back around, racing back to the bathroom. Frye didn't even bother with the door knob, kicking the door open instead.

Inside, Big Man was trembling in the bathtub, his gaze locked on his fins. In one hand, he held a knotted tie, and he desperately attempted to undo it with the other.

His sniffles and quiet whines echoed off the ceramic edges of the bathtub, filling the silence of the bathroom.

"Ay… (Stupid fins…)" He threw the balled up tie out of the bathtub and completely covered his face with his fins. "A-ay… (I-I’ll never get this right…)

"HEY!" Shiver and Frye both yelled. In an instant, they tumbled over each other, rushing to Big Man's side.

Frye picked up his discarded tie and launched herself into the bathtub, landing across from Big Man. Shiver slid to the side and reached over the bathtub to envelop Big Man in a strangling hug.

"Don’t talk about yourself like that!" Shiver practically yelled. Frye worked furiously on untangling the tie while Shiver squeezed him tightly. When she had finished untangling the tie, Frye began to tie it around Big Man’s "neck" for him.

"Yeah! Your fins aren’t stupid! They’re fresh as fuck!" Frye said. She finished tying the tie with a little flourish. "And don't you forget it!"

"Ay? (Really?)" He asked, his words distorted by his sniffles.

"Absolutely." Shiver responded, releasing Big Man from their nigh-death-grip hug. Big Man wiped a tear away with his fin and nodded.

"Ay... (Thank you both…)"

"Anytime, Big Man," Frye responded, hopping out of the bathtub.

She held out her hand to help Big Man out as well. He gladly placed his fin in her hand and pushed himself up off the side of the tub, letting Frye stabilize him on his way out.

When he finally got out, he took the chance to look at himself in the mirror, with Shiver and Frye beside him.

"Are we all ready?" Frye asked.

"Shell yeah!"

"AY! (Let’s GO!)"

All three of them struck their signature poses in the mirror, seeing how they looked in their formal clothes.

They didn’t know what it did for them. Maybe it was seeing all of them in formal clothing for the first time since high school or the fact that all Big Man was wearing was his headpiece, a tie, and dress shoes that were clearly too big for him. Perhaps the argument about Frye’s shoes earlier.

It started as a small chuckle bubbling out of Frye but quickly passed along to the others. Before long, all three of them were filling the room with laughter. Big Man nearly flopped over, only being stopped by the door frame behind him. This only served to make Shiver and Frye laugh harder, with Frye leaning against the bathroom counter for support and Shiver leaning against the wall.

Moments passed before any of them could stand up straight. Usually, as soon as they looked at Big Man’s entire outfit, they’d all crack up again.

Eventually, all of them finally settled down, giving everything one final check. Big Man grabbed the car keys, and all of them headed out the door and to the car.

Shiver and Frye climbed into the back seats, while Big Man took up the entire front part of the car.

"Ay! (Buckle up!)"

All of them latched their seatbelts, then Big Man pulled the car out of the Anarchy Residence and headed onto the road.

The familiar landscape of Splatsville slowly faded out of view as they started driving. Sometimes they’d fill the silence with conversations, dumb debates, and new ideas. Other times, Big Man would just put on a playlist, and all of them would sing along.

It wasn’t often that the car was completely silent, but throughout the car ride, they found themselves in that position, watching the sun dip below the horizon as they crossed Hammerhead Bridge.

"You'd think they'd invite us to a place that's a little closer," Shiver idly remarked. Then the silence returned as they drove off the bridge.

Several more pings from the GPS later, and they had arrived at the outskirts of Inkopolis.

There were a lot more screens in the new city than there were in Splatsville, advertising all kinds of products. Food, shoes, TV shows—pretty much anything you could think of and some things that you couldn't.

Even on the outskirts of the city, advertisements lined practically everything.

It was so different. You could look around and see the same store twice, maybe even three times. That would never happen in Splatsville.

And the people here all seemed so busy, milling about as if the world depended on it. Not a person in sight was sitting down. In fact, there seemed to be nowhere to sit down, with much of the concrete littered with metal spikes.

The picture it illustrated was uncomfortable overall. All of the screens drowned out most of the natural lighting from the sunset, making its brilliant colors seem drab and dull.

And the art! There wasn’t nearly enough art in the city. Splatsville was covered left to right in graffiti, and no one cared. Here it was all freshly painted gray, only leaving remnants of spray paint behind.

By the time they even neared the venue, the sky was completely dark, with the only lights coming from the city itself. Big Man drove through the city streets easily, searching for the building where the event was being held.

Warm lighting spilled out of a large building, much taller and brighter than many others. The front wall was nearly entirely windows, where they could see some of the extravagant interior.

"Ay! (I think we're here!)" Big Man drove up and down the street, seemingly looking for something. The street only went straight, and nothing interesting or notable really showed up. "Ay? (Where are all the parking spaces?)

"Maybe we should go and ask?" Shiver replied. "Surely the people at the party know."

"Ay! (And risk the car being stolen?)"

"You can stay in the car then. Frye and I will go ask." Big Man shrugged, unlocking their doors. Both of them gathered up their things and headed out of the car and towards the building.

The closer they got, the more lavish it seemed to become. They could see crystal chandeliers and silk curtains. People milled around inside, filling the building with chatter.

Outside, though, it was surrounded by high security. Several guards stood in front of the front doors, checking every person who came in and out of the party. All of them were dressed in suits, sunglasses, and similar grimaces across their faces.

Shiver and Frye slowly approached them, invitations in hand. The security guards stared at them as they approached, unmoving. Just standing with their arms crossed. They only tilted their heads when Shiver and Frye were within range.

They quickly handed over their invitations. The guards took the envelopes, carefully opening them to inspect the contents. It was hard to read their expressions, as they were almost completely backlit by the party lights.

"ID?" a tall pufferfish guard asked.

"I’m sorry?" Shiver responded.

"I need your identification, so I can verify your names on the ticket."

Frye felt like her incoming question was stupid, so she tried her best to make it sound proper.

"What exactly constitutes an ID?"

The security guard let out a heavy sigh but continued nonetheless.

"Anything issued by the state. Passports or any license, for example." Shiver, in turn, took a breath of her own.

"What if, per se, we happened to be from an anarchist territory?" The guard rubbed their temple with their hand.

"Then," they said, sighing heavily. "I’d tell you to hop over to the embassy of your choosing and get them to find your file. Until then, no entry."

"Is there a Splatlandian embassy?" Frye whispered to Shiver. "Is that, like, a thing?"

"If there is, it certainly isn't state-sanctioned." Shiver cleared her throat, and looked back at the security guard. "Listen. We just want to know where to park."

"I can't show you where our guests park. That is a direct breach of security policy."

Shiver threw up her arms and turned back, not quite accepting defeat but moving to the side so others could get through. Frye followed suit, standing by their side, arms crossed.

"You wouldn't have happened to have any form of ID on you, would you?" Shiver whispered to Frye. With a shrug, Frye pulled out her clutch and shuffled around the countless random things inside before her fingers landed on a smooth piece of plastic.

Triumphant, she pulled it out and examined the plastic card. Shiver peeked over her shoulder to look over it as well.

"Who the shell is Moira Eel? And why do you have her ID?" Shiver asked. Frye flipped the card over, looking over the different bits of text beside a faded photo.

"Oh, this is my fake ID from ninth grade."

Shiver furrowed her brow.

"Why did you need a fake ID in ninth grade?"

"So remember that time I, kind of, tagged the entire school?" She held up the fake ID between her fingers. "Needed this to buy the spray paint."

"Oh shit, that was you?"

"The one and only!" She winked and then tossed the ID back in her bag. "Well, sadly, Moira Eel isn't gonna cut it. Especially when our names are on the invite."

Frye leaned her head into the palm of her hand, frowning as she thought of a new solution.

"Aha!" She snapped her fingers. "Big Man has his driver's license! He should be able to get in and vouch for us!"

"And what if they let him in but not us?"

"I don't know. Arson?" Shiver just breathed in heavily, pressing her folded-up fan against her forehead.

"I don’t think that’s a good idea." Shiver snapped her fan out and turned her head around, looking out towards the people surrounding them. Then, she quietly leaned over, closing the gap between her and Frye. She spoke in a hushed whisper. "But don't take it off the table quite yet."

As they whispered, another security guard came from inside, much shorter than their pufferfish counterpart. They went up to them and started talking. Their voices were hushed, barely understandable from where Shiver and Frye were standing.

The guard that came from inside was more recognizable, to say the least. Their head was turned away, so they could only see the back of their tentacles. But the way they carried themself seemed almost familiar. Along with that, they were wearing a small backpack.

What caught them off guard, however, was that the backpack moved. Writhing around as if something inside it was living.

"The Squid Sisters are vouching for them?" The pufferfish guard pointed directly at Shiver and Frye. "The ones who don't even have IDs."

The guard wearing the backpack only shrugged, remaining silent for the rest of the time as the pufferfish groaned.

Meanwhile, the guard’s backpack had momentarily stopped squirming, only for the top to pop off, revealing a small salmonid inside.

It was Agent 3 who was vouching for them.

Turning from the other guard, Agent 3 winked at them, then quickly turned back and continued talking to the guard. The other guard grumbled, but eventually called them back up. They spoke with a tired sigh.

"The other guard here informed me that you two were in fact requested by name by the Squid Sisters. And they also informed me of the current state, or lack thereof, of the Splatlandian government. Please accept our humble apology."

"Ah, no skin off my fin." Frye said to the guard. "Now we just need to see if Big Man found a parking space yet."

"Oh, you won't find any around here. The city is far too crowded. We offer valet parking for all invited guests." The guard said.

Frye furrowed her brow while Shiver scratched the side of her head.

"Valet?" Shiver asked.

"We’ll take the keys to your car and park it for you."

Frye narrowed her eyes at the guard and placed her hands on her hips. "Now, I'm not an expert here, officer, but that kind of sounds like stealing."

Shiver unfolded her fan, holding it up by her face again.

"Are you trying to steal our car?" Shiver said, mocking shock.

"What? No, I’m not trying to steal your guys’ car. That's a crime."

"That sounds like an excuse, young man!" Frye retorted. The guard groaned again, while Agent 3 attempted to talk them through it.

"Listen, it's like when a—"

"Ay? (Are you guys okay in there?)" Big Man called. Frye and Shiver promptly raced down to the curb, where Big Man pulled up the car. "Ay? (Do we know where to park yet?)"

"No, because someone—" Frye glanced back to Agent 3. "—is trying to steal our car."

"Ay? (Steal it?)"

Agent 3 rushed towards them. The top of the backpack popped open, and Little Buddy began running alongside them.

"No, no, no! We're offering to park your car for you. You just need to give us your keys."

"Ay… (That does sound like you're going to steal my car…)"

"That’s what I said!" Shiver and Frye said in unison. Big Man tightened his grip on the wheel, staring down Agent 3.

"Ay! (No one is going to steal my car from me!)" Agent 3 pressed their hands together in a prayer. Little Buddy began garbling alongside them, hopping from side to side.

"Please, just give me the keys to your car."

"Why? That'd be like, consensual stealing!"

"I don't think that's how it works, Frye." Shiver responded.

"It isn't!" Agent 3 yelled out

"Well, no one is stealing my car without my consent!" Frye bit back.

Agent 3 started lightly hitting their head against the side of the car. Little Buddy contributed by climbing up their shoulders, bobbing up and down.

"I just want to park your car." It was hard to hear them over the rhythmic thumping of their head against metal.

Big Man scratched his chin with his fin, looking out into the nighttime distance.

"Ay! (I have a solution!)" He waved out his fins, and everyone went silent. Reaching all the way out the window, he tapped Agent 3 on their shoulder. "Ay! Ay! (Park my car with me in it!)"

Agent 3 stopped hitting their head against the car, instead turning to face out. Frye couldn't tell whether their expression was disappointed, confused, or just exhausted.

"That—that just defeats the point of valet parking."

"Ay! (Park my car with me, Three!)"

They started rubbing their temples, but finally threw up their hands in defeat.

"Y’know what? Fine! Big Man, get in the back seat! Let's go park your car."

Big Man happily unbuckled his seatbelt and tossed his keys to Agent 3 through the window. He shuffled into the backseat, lightly clapping his fins, while Agent 3 climbed into the driver's seat. Little Buddy gladly hopped beside him, landing in the passenger seat.

"Ay! (Girl's night!)" Agent 3 sighed as they started the car and drove around the building and out of sight. Shiver and Frye shrugged and headed back to the pufferfish guard, who begrudgingly verified their tickets and let them inside.

Chapter Text

As soon as they walked through the door, they were all blinded by the extravagance of it all. Everything seemed to shimmer or shine, reflecting the warm lights across the venue.

Long tables formed rows, where each one was blanketed with a pristine white tablecloth, and lined end to end with carefully plated hors d'oeuvres. Several smaller tables were arranged around the venue, with varying amounts of people at each.

Every floor in sight was packed with people mingling, most with some form of conch-tail in hand. All of them moved about, carrying thousands of conversations at once.

“I can’t wait to meet C-side—”

“I think that’s too expensive—”

“Have you heard the new Damp Socks single—”

“Is Grizzco changing CEOs going to affect ⍵-3’s production—”

All the conversations going on at once. Each with a different topic, with different people. It was overwhelming, at first, compared to the cold silence from the guards outside of the venue.

With all the people mingling about, it was hard to see to the other side of the lobby. Everyone moved around in their own little worlds.

Up on the balcony, they finally spotted two faces they'd recognized. One was their Assistant Lady, jumping up and down and waving at them through the crowd. The other was Boss Marie, trying desperately to calm Callie down.

Frye watched as Callie charged down the flight of stairs, and Marie slowly trailed after her. Some of the security was also with them, as Agent 4 and Captain 3 cleared the path as Callie ran across the floor.

Callie happily skipped towards them, champagne in hand. It was surprising that none of her drink spilled, considering the speed she moved.

“Frye! How are you doing?” The ends of her tentacles were brightened to her signature pink, and she was dressed in a glittery black statement gown with a halter top; a sort of industrial glam look, with pink tubing lining the dark skirt of her dress.

Marie and the agents had eventually made their way down. Both agents were dressed in neat suits, while Marie was in a complementary white dress, albeit more reserved than Callie’s, with similar green tubing along the skirt.

Callie tilted her head, and took a sip of her champagne. In turn, Marie took a drink from a nearby waiter's tray, downing it in one gulp, and sending it back with the waiter before he even had a chance to leave.

“Where’s Shiver and Big Man?” Callie asked, swirling her champagne in the glass.

“Oh Big Man is being parked right now. And Shiver…” Frye panicked when she realized and looked back, only to see an empty space where Shiver once stood. “Where the shell did she go?”

Looking around, Frye found little evidence of her in the crowd. She turned back to Callie, and continued. “Sorry to run out on you, Assistant Lady, but I gotta make sure they aren't breaking anything without me.”

Without a second thought, Frye bolted off and began to mingle her way through the crowd.

There were far too many people at this event. Both artists and security alike. Nearly every big name had some form of guard. Around every corner you could see someone intimidating in a dark suit.

It rubbed Frye the wrong way. It's harder to steal things with so many witnesses. Unless she wanted to make a statement, which Frye wasn't really opposed to.

However, she decided against it, or at least against swiping anything significant for the time being. Instead, she decided to take some snacks from one of the nearby tables. The particular table she was close to was lined end to end in dessert towers. Carefully crafted mini cheesecakes, pies, cookies, even some things that Frye didn't recognize.

Snatching a plate from the side, she began piling her plate high with sweets. One of every kind she could get her hands on.

Glancing around, she could tell that some people were beginning to stare at her growing dessert tower. But she paid them no mind, stacking the foods high and higher, until it was too structurally unsound to hold anymore.

A small group had stopped by her. There couldn’t have been more than five of them, but with the way they were talking, it seemed like there’d be more.

They passed by Frye, their faces contorted with disgust at her plate piled high, and hushed their tones. Since when have people cared about that? Frye thought. Why were they looking at her? It was just food. Food free for the taking, no less.

Frye couldn't even recognize anyone in the group. As far as it went, they were just wearing generic black tie clothes. Neat suits, floor length dresses. She spotted a pearl necklace on an inkling, who started chewing out a waiter for a dropped appetizer.

Frye felt sorry for the staff, and for the poor oyster who donated the pearls. They didn't deserve to be worn on someone who was so mean.

With a sudden jolt, Frye turned around to meet the groups’ gaze, and snatched even more food from the table, holding it in her hands as to not compromise the already precarious tower she’d crafted.

They all started murmuring again. It was hard to pick out among every other sound in the venue, but it didn't matter, as they eventually walked away. Frye smirked in defiance and walked away too, munching on some of the highly decorated cookies she had in her hands.

A sudden clarity overtook her, and Frye remembered what she'd been here to do originally. She continued her search for Shiver and Big Man, trying her best to weave her way through the hordes of people.

The crowd seemed to only be getting thicker as she looked. It got steadily harder to find them, especially when Frye got sidetracked again when people started exchanging pleasantries with her.

It started with Off the Hook, who both seemed equally uncomfortable. Marina kept wringing out her hands in front of her, playing with a small umbrella she kept at her side. Pearl tugged at the straps of her dress, snapping them against her shoulders.

“Oh, we didn’t sleep a whole lot from our gig yesterday.” Marina brushed it off when Frye inquired.

“And we worked a shift at Grizzco the day before.” Pearl agreed.

Their security guard, Agent 8, as they came to be known, seemed to be a bit more at peace. They only stood by, scrawling notes in a little notepad as they waited.

When that conversation ended, Frye found herself wheeled over to a couple of producers by her own producer who had tracked her down at some point. Among them was an older Inkling who sat beside the others, but didn't talk to anyone.

“Hey Frye,” Her jellyfish producer began,“If you're going to go through with the collaboration with the Squid Sisters, Shy-Ho-Shy is the lady to talk to.” They gestured to the older Inkling.

The other producers, though, had other plans. They all turned towards Frye, waving and saying greetings, overshadowing the person she was supposed to talk to. Shy-Ho-Shy seemed to fade away, being gone before Frye got a chance to speak.

“So your new single, Anarchy Rainbow, just hit the charts. You guys are becoming famous! Would you ever consider featuring in our new single?” Other jellies in suits had appeared next to her producer since Frye was sidetracked.

Frye’s brain was pretty fried, and she just stared at them. She didn't have the authority to decide that. After all, she was only a third of Deep Cut. It would be rude to decide this without Shiver and Big Man. They were also better at planning these kinds of things anyway.

“I’m just the choreographer…” She started, unsure of how to continue.

“Oh, nonsense!” Her own producer began again. They placed an arm on Fryes shoulder, but still faced the other producers. “Her choreography is no small feat, but that's not all! She's a beautiful singer, and can whip up a track on her pungi like it's nothing!”

“Wow, really?”

“Deep Cut truly is remarkable!”

“What big plans do you guys have coming up?”

Frye had the realization that this conversation wouldn't nearly be as easy to leave as Off the Hook. What made it worse was that everyone just kept talking. Nothing but it. It was hard to even get a word in. And she was only a third of the band being produced! Surely she could get them to shut up somehow.

Eventually, someone else broke the endless loop.

“Where’s Shiver and Big Man?” A deep voice said. Frye looked towards the sound, and saw a newly familiar face: DJ Octavio. Though, he was a little different. Instead of being out in the open, he was contained in a glass orb, where little plastic snowflakes fell around his face.

Frye was a little confused at the sight, not knowing quite how to piece it together. The snowglobe was on a small trolley, being wheeled by an Octoling in dark sunglasses.

Well, that's…something, she thought.

DJ Octavio seemed to notice her confusion at his situation, and rubbed his forehead with one of his tentacles.

“Many people felt unsafe with a ‘war criminal’ at the party,” He mimicked quotes in the air with his tentacles. “However, I am the largest producer of Octarian music. As such, I have agreed to attend under the premise that I'd remain in the snow globe.”

He held up a tentacle, pointing across the floor where Marina was staring down the snowglobe. In her hand, she spun around the umbrella she was playing with earlier. It seemed unassuming enough, but with a second look, she could see the trigger of an Undercover Brella. “Ms. Ida herself offered to shoot me if I stepped out of line.”

“Oh…okay.” Frye responded. It was…a lot of information to take in at once, especially when she was just searching for a socially acceptable reason to run away. Isn't there a no-weapons policy, or am I hallucinating?

In the short time she had spoken with Octavio, the producers had already switched conversation topics, allowing Frye to maneuver away and fade back into the crowd.

Eventually, Frye found her way back to the entrance area, and continued her search for Shiver. Apparently the party only got larger as she went on; when she pushed into what looked like a ballroom, it was surprising how much more exorbitant it became. There were streamers that seemed to be made of pure gold, and the music played subtly over others conversations.

Frye could barely comprehend anything, just looking around for any trace of Shiver’s blue kimono. She shoved another cookie into her mouth and trailed along, searching person after person.

A bump cut Frye off again, followed by a rattle and a slosh of water. Her first reaction was to cradle her plate of sweets, holding it high up in the air so none would fall on the floor.

She twisted her stance around to see what exactly she’d bumped into.

Towering above her, on a circular table, stood a tall, gleaming, ice sculpture.

It glimmered and shone, carefully refracting the dim lighting of the venue into pale rainbows on the floor surrounding it.

The sculpture was of a large wave, crashing upwards in a spiral. Sitting on top of the wave was a very familiar face.

The small fry, who Agent 3 called Little Buddy, graced the crest of the icy wave, overlooking the party over one story in the air. Swimming up the wave, closer to the bottom, was a crystalline Huge Fry, reminiscent of the fight against Mr. Grizz. Frye stood admiring the sculpture, surprised at how well they were able to reconstruct a fish that was only ever seen in space.

Even the basin to collect the runoff water was gorgeous. It was a sleek, clear crystal dish, standing over half of Frye’s height on its own. When the rainbows shone on the floor, the basin seemed to reflect it onto the white silk tablecloth, making the whole area around it alive with color.

It was so exquisite, that every once-lavish decoration in the entire venue paled in comparison.

It graced Frye’s presence like the gentle and gracious glow of the moon, but with the force and fire of the fierce sun. The twinkling light of every star could have been contained in the sculpture.

Frye couldn't even remember what she was doing beforehand, nor what she was planning on doing later. All that existed was the ice sculpture.

Her stupor broke when someone walked by, and stopped directly by her side. She groaned internally. Another meaningless conversation. A conversation which would detract from the glorious sight in front of her. Turning her head, she prepared for the worst.

Surprisingly, it was just Marie. Drink in hand, she gestured towards the sculpture.

“Callie commissioned that,” Marie started. “She was so mesmerized during the fight against Mr. Grizz that she vowed to make this happen.”

Marie swirled the drink in her hand, gazing up at the sculpture. She quickly finished it off in one more sip.

“She wouldn't settle for anything less than the best, so she commissioned the finest Salmonid artist she could find.” Marie glanced downwards and put a finger to her chin as she frowned lopsidedly. "It was a pain in the bass to get it through customs."

“It’s…” Beautiful didn't feel like enough. Nothing could truly compare to the marvelous sight in front of her. “It’s splendiferous!”

“I don't think that's a word.”

“Of course it is!”

Marie cleared her throat before continuing.

“Anyway, that sculptor was the only person who could carve this without being splatted. But Callie sought them out for more than that. She believed that another salmonid would be the only one to convey the image so well.”

It only heightened Frye’s adoration for the sculpture. Marie stayed by her side, flagging down one of the waitstaff again.

A nautilus waiter came back, holding out a tray for Marie to place her drink.

“Anything else?” He asked both of them.

“Gin and tonic.” Marie said. The waiter nodded, then turned towards Frye.

“And you, Madame?”

Frye unfortunately had to look back to the nautilus, pondering for a moment before answering.

“A virgin mimosa. With extra juice!” She said, turning back towards the sculpture.

The nautilus and Marie stared at her for a moment. Frye didn't exactly get the problem; she was more concerned with every single detail carved into the little buddy ice sculpture.

Marie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Eventually, the waiter just shrugged and left.

“Do you know what a mimosa is?” Marie asked with a sigh. Frye looked back to give her response.

“Yeah! It's champagne and orange juice.”

“Do you know what it means to make a drink virgin?”

“You remove the alcohol, duh.” Marie continued to stare at Frye, her brow furrowed. Her mouth opened and closed. With a sigh, she stopped and instead crossed one of her arms, and rubbed her temple with the other. “Listen Boss, I don't understand the issue.”

Soon the waiter returned with Marie's gin and tonic, and Frye’s champagne glass of orange juice. Frye had to hold her clutch with her forearm against her side to grab the mimosa, still balancing her tower of desserts.

After that, Marie just left Frye alone again with the sculpture.

Frye had just returned to gazing at the sculpture with unrivaled adoration when someone unceremoniously yanked her wrist and pulled her away. The action was so quick that Frye didn't even see who pulled her. She could only see the shrinking sculpture in the distance as she was snatched away.

Smack!

Frye had collided with the back of the wall, her head slamming into a corner.

“Hey! What was that for?” Frye went to clutch her head, but she had no free hand, so she ended up just pressing the champagne glass against her forehead. Looking up, she saw the person who cornered her was none other than Shiver, with a devious look on their face.

“Grow up. It didn't pull that hard.”

“You weren't the one who hit their HEAD against the WALL!” Frye pulled her hand from Shiver’s and crossed her arms as best as she could. “What the shell possessed you to do that? I could have spilled my mimosa! And my food!”

“You’re drinking alcohol?” Shiver’s voice was surprised.

“Nah. I made it virgin.” Shiver seemed to have a similar look to Marie. “I got it with extra juice too.”

“But…that’s just—”

“Shut up!” Frye almost shouted. “I already had Boss Lady talk to me about it.”

She took a sip of the mimosa, just to prove a point.

“Anyway! Why did you need to push me against a wall? I mean, hey, not that I'm complaining, but it wasn't like I was going anywhere—”

“I’m gonna steal that ice sculpture.”

Chapter Text

“I’m gonna steal that ice sculpture.” Her eyes looked as if they sparkled when she spoke. Shiver was nearly jumping with excitement. It was cute, seeing Shiver so enthusiastic over the ice sculpture. “The silent, soaring, sentinel which watches over—”

“Without me? Shiver...I thought I knew you!” Frye interrupted.

“Why do you think I'm telling you this if I didn't want to steal it with you?” Shiver lightly tapped her fan on Frye's head. “Never change, Stir-Frye.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, Sharkbite,” Frye said with a wink. She straightened up, so she wasn't leaning against the wall anymore. Then, she took another sip of her mimosa, and continued. “We should get Big Man in on this. Do you know where he is?”

“I thought he would have been with you.”

“Well, he isn't here.”

“Obviously!” Shiver sighed, turning around, beckoning for Frye to follow her. “How the shell did we lose a seven foot tall manta ray?”

“Years of practice.” Both of them began their search through the hordes of people at the party. They both bid their temporary farewell to the ice sculpture, and went on their way.

At least with Shiver by Frye’s side, they'd be able to find him quicker. Hopefully.

Frye finished off the last of her virgin mimosa, handing it off to a different waiter. Shiver never ordered anything, or stopped to get snacks. But Frye could swear that her pile of sweets was slowly shrinking, even when she wasn’t taking any for herself.

“Shiver…are you taking my food?” Frye talked while they walked. Shiver snapped her fan in offense.

“You think I'd eat something like that? Those things aren't even spicy enough for me to consider!”

Frye rolled her eyes, but paid it no mind when she saw Shiver’s blood red fingers swiping the mini cheesecakes from her plate.

They artfully wove their way through the crowds, holding hands in the hopes not to lose each other again. (And also for other reasons. Frye wasn't lying to herself about that.)

Both of them made it back to the entrance area, thankful to see that the last of the guests had arrived at the party. Frye heard Shiver let out a sigh of relief at the prospect, before they continued walking. She looked around the general vicinity to see any sign of Big Man.

All she could see were the other party guests that attended. No manta ray in sight.

“Hey…I see you have a lot of stuff on your plate…” A voice said from behind them. Frye spun around and held up her fist.

“Yeah! What are you going to do about it?” Frye quipped back. The person who spoke was a pale skinned sea anemone with pink tentacles, which were braided up. She wore a mid length gown with a poofy skirt, covered in neon paint splatters. What tied the whole look together was her brightly patterned yellow baseball cap, on which rested a sad looking clownfish, wearing a tophat of their own.

“Umm…yeah. I realized how bad that sounded as soon as I said it. Sorry.”

“Wait, aren't you the manager of Hotlantis?” Shiver asked, scratching her head. The sea anemone rocked back and forth on her feet.

“Well. Not exactly legally. That title would go to Barry. But right now I'm here with the Chirpy Chips and my girlfriend. The producers want us to get back together…apparently.” She looked them up and down for a second, then blinked slowly. “Ohhh, you're Deep Cut. The guys who run the whole…radio…thing.”

“Yup! That's us and the Anarchy Splatcast!” Frye happily flapped her hand out of its fist, pleased with her successful name-dropping. If only her producers were here to witness this.

“Yeah. I couldn't recognize you without the third guy. The big one. Umm. Well, anyway. Back to what I meant to ask earlier before, y'know, being rude. Can I have the toothpicks in your food?”

Frye looked back and forth between her plate and Harmony. There wasn't much left. Just the small pile discarded toothpicks and three cookies.

“Here!” Frye handed over the entire plate to Harmony. “Enjoy! I had plenty of toothpicks!”

“Oh. Wow…thanks.” Harmony nodded at the two, then slowly turned around and walked away.

“I wonder what she wants all those toothpicks for?” Shiver asked.

“We should visit her later in the night to see!”

“If we aren't either in prison or on the run.”

“We’ll see how it goes!”

Both of them went back to continuing their search after that. More weaving through crowds, talking to producers they didn't know, making empty promises for collabs and the like.

Frye stood up on her tiptoes to see past the heads of some of the crowd. It was relatively unsuccessful, only being able to pick out Harmony, who wasn't that far away anyways.

Shiver seemed to turn up blanks as well, still looking around the crowds of people. Frustrations on both ends seemed to heighten. Frye found it harder to focus the longer the search continued.

The crowd was shifting, and suddenly, Shiver and Frye couldn't recognize anyone anymore. Everyone's face was new.

“Hey, are you guys Shiver and Frye from—”

“No,” Shiver responded, walking away with Frye.

Was it getting hotter? Frye could feel Shiver's hand begin to clam up. And she wasn't doing so well herself. Her tentacles seemed to stick to the side of her head.

Shiver whipped out her fan again, using it to attempt to cool off.

“I think this place is overcrowded.” Shiver had said. She came to a stop by the wall, leaning against it as she fanned. “It should not be this hot.”

Frye leaned by her, slowly sliding her back down the wall until she was sitting on the floor. She was past the point of caring about image.

“I’d make fun of you for having no heat tolerance if you weren't right,” Frye panted out. “I mean, we're cold-blooded for cod’s sake! It isn't like we're a bunch of birds! Or we’re all Mr. Grizz!”

“I’m—” Shiver tried to even her breathing before responding, to some avail. “I’m the cold-blooded one.”

“Oh right. I misspoke. Let me resay that.” Frye cleared her throat, and held one hand up in the air, and the other to her chest. “What are us mere slightly-warmer-than-Shiver -but-not-technically-warm-blooded creatures supposed to do in the unbearable heat? Oh Shiver, chilled, cold-blooded Shiver, what am I supposed to do?”

“Shut up,” Shiver giggled.

“I can’t believe this! I'm requesting your aid and you've forsaken me! What am I to do now? I'll never be able to live now that I'm stuck in this sweltering heat—okay this is getting annoying.”

“Finally, you realized.” Despite her comment, Shiver had a warm smile. “Hey, do you know what would really cool us down?”

“What?”

Shiver crouched down to whisper in Frye’s ear.

“The little buddy ice sculpture.”

Frye rolled her eyes. “Yeah. If it doesn't splat us first.”

“We’ll find a way.”

Suddenly a familiar face appeared. Frye jumped back up, while Shiver straightened her posture. It was not Big Man, but rather Callie again, running up to see them. This time, she was holding two champagne flutes. One of which was empty, but the second was still moderately full.

They walked closer to meet her in the middle of the room.

Callie's cheeks had begun to flush, leaving the tips of her ears pink. When they finally met, Callie skipped to a stop, but accidentally lurched forward, twisting in her heels, and rolling her ankle.

“Ow!” She shouted out. “That hurts like a mother—”

Some of the faces surrounding them turned towards Callie, all with looks of apprehension.

“Uhhhh…Like a Mothership! When she splats all of your crewmates at a Grizzco shift!”

Everyone's faces turned back to what they were doing. Callie let out a quiet, but victorious laugh.

“Nailed it.” Callie said to herself.

“Motherships don't splat people, Boss Lady.” Shiver whispered over.

“Shit, they don't?”

“Nope. They steal the eggs from the basket.” Frye continued.

“I wouldn't know, I never worked at Grizzco.” Callie stood up a little straighter, and traded out the whisper for her normal talking voice. “More importantly though, you found Shiver! That's great! I saw—”

In the most jaded voice Frye ever heard, Shiver interrupted Callie.

“Do you know where Big Man is?”

“Oh, Big Man?” She jumped up. “Yeah! He's right behind you.”

Frye and Shiver whipped back around to see Big Man towering above them, holding a pint glass in one fin, and with another Octoling at his side.

“Ay Ay— (Hey guys! Look at this cool person I found—)”

Frye and Shiver made eye contact and nodded. In an instant, Shiver snapped the pint out of Big Man’s fins. Each one of them took a fin in their hands and immediately bolted to the bathroom, dragging Big Man behind them. They didn't care how much of a scene it made, only caring about bringing Big Man in on the plan. The door slammed behind them.

It was a single stalled bathroom, with the sink and toilet in the same room. Since it was unlocked, they didn't need to check if anyone was there. The tile was cold on Frye’s feet. A relief from the uncomfortable heat of the lobby.

Shiver immediately perked up at the temperature change, her grin from earlier returning.

“We’re gonna steal the ice sculpture.” Shiver said, covering their mouth with the fan to quiet her voice.

“Ay? (What?)” He looked around, making sure the bathroom was actually empty. It was, but he kept darting his eyes around.

“The ice sculpture of Huge Fry!” Frye continued.

“The one that could light up a thousand of the darkest nights with one sight. The one where it could change the flow of the tides on it's own.”

Big Man anxiously rubbed his fins.

“Ay? (Oh. I mean…I saw the endless trickle of the timelines converging inside, beginning and ending in a glorious splendor. And how it refracted the birth and death of every star known to ocean-kind. But does that really mean we should steal it?)”

“YES!” They both shouted.

“They’re just going to let it melt at the end of the night!” Shiver continued. “It’s our solemn duty to save the Soaring Sentinel from that forsaken fate—”

The door opened behind them, and all three of them froze up. Slowly, they looked back, seeing a tall figure standing in the door frame.It was the same Octoling that was at Big Man’s side earlier, carrying the pint glass that Shiver knocked out of Big Man's fin.

Shiver and Frye finally got a good look at them. Their skin was entirely green, and their tentacles were a cool blue, which faded into a vibrant red. They weren't dressed in the kind of formal clothing that everyone else was. Rather, they wore a simple off the shoulder black T-Shirt, headphones, a white baseball cap, and red sunglasses. But, they wore a long black skirt, silver jewelry, and formal fingerless gloves, showing off their red claws.

“Ay! (Dedf1sh! These are my friends I told you about!)”

Dedf1sh crossed the room to Big Man's side, handing the, still full, pint glass back to Big Man. They pulled out a device from their front pocket and began typing, claws clacking against the surface. The device spoke out in a robotic voice when they finished.

“You dropped your pink lemonade.”

“Ay! (Oh! Thank you Dedf1sh! Wait, how did you catch this without spilling any?)”

“Irrelevant,” Their device said. Dedf1sh stretched out her arms, giving an unsavory crack, before bringing the device back to herself and tapping out another response. “Tangentially, I believe I heard some of you mention that you were going to steal the ice sculpture in the lobby. Is that correct?”

The room went silent. Frye and Shiver sighed in defeat, and prepared to go back to attending the party. Big Man, however, seemed unbothered.

“Ay! (Totally!)” Shiver obscured her face with the fan, while Frye just shook her head. “Ay ay! (Do you want to help?)”

Dedf1sh leaned back against the wall. It was as if time was frozen. She didn't move at all, and made no sound until she brought out her device again, then started typing.

“Yeah. I’ve got nothing better to do, and Big Man is now, like, one of four people I know here.” Frye was surprised how easy it was to convince her.

“Wait, really?” Shiver snapped her fan back together.

Dedf1sh nodded as her response. “Why not? Better than vaping outside the whole time.”

“You’re serious?” Frye asked, crossing her arms. “Wait a second, you aren't a cop or anything, right?”

“Nope. Not a cop. Granted, I don't think that assuages your suspicion.” Dedf1sh panned her head up towards the ceiling.

“Yeah! Go ahead and prove you aren't a cop! Then we’ll be able to tell.” Shiver said to Dedf1sh.

“How would I be able to prove a negative?”

“Ooh! You can do something illegal in front of us!” Frye’s voice sounded more excited than it probably should have been.

“Ay— (You don't have to do that ded—)”

“I know what I can do.” Dedf1sh slid the device back into her skirt pocket, and bared her claws towards everyone. Her fingertips and the ends of her tentacles shifted, turning from a red, to a bright cyan.

“Ay? (Dedf1sh…what are you doing?)”

She didn't bring the device back out to respond. Instead, she turned away from Deep Cut, facing the wall.

Dedf1sh reared back their hand and slammed her hand into the wall, digging in her claws. Little bits of painted drywall flaked off, landing on the floor in small flecks.

She started by releasing ink from her fingertips. Small cyan pools filled the puncture she made. Then, Dedf1sh dragged her claws around, inking along the grooves.

The drywall didn't seem to be an issue for her, simply flaking off as she continued to claw at it. She started by drawing three ovals, stretched out by the sides. Then, they drew a rounded semicircle around it.

After a while, the drawing finally came together. It was the same as the small octopus that was embroidered on their hat. Only larger, and blue.

With a swipe, she dragged her hand up, finishing the last tentacle on the octopus. She then brought her hand from the wall, changing her ink, tentacle ends, and fingertips back into the bright red they were.

They fished the device out of their pocket, and started typing again.

“There’s your crime. Vandalism. It'll stay there for a while. My ink can't be digested by the microbes.”

Shiver’s entire face lit up.

“You just did a vandalism for us!” Shiver said.

“Yes I did.”

“Ay—(Wouldn't it just be vandalism—)”

“You’re not a cop!” Frye squealed out.

“I am not a cop.”

Shiver’s grin was so large that the tips of her beak gleamed in the fluorescent lights. She raised her arms out and leaned back, cackling with all of her might.

“That’ll show them!” She yelled out. “Oh ho ho! They thought that they were inviting the band Deep Cut, when they were actually inviting the most feared bandits in all of Splatsville!”

“Ay! (Featuring Dedf1sh! Deepsea Metro Represent!)”

“By the end of the night, that little buddy ice sculpture will be ours!” Frye shouted in response, baring her fangs in a smirk. “We can give it the treatment it really deserves!”

“And when we're done with this place, the entirety of the music industry will tell the tales of our terror for generations!” Shiver snapped back up. “And whose names will they be remembering when that day comes?”

“DEEP CUT! DEEP CUT! DEEP CUT!” Frye called back.

“AY! AY! (SHIVER, FRYE, AND BIG MAN! NOW FEATURING DEDF1SH!)”

Dedf1sh waved from the corner of the bathroom. Everyone cheered at her inclusion.

She waited, still leaning against the wall, for all of them to settle down. When they all seemed to be cheered out, she brought out her communications device again.

“Now, that's all fine and good. But do you guys have a plan?”

In stark contrast to the boisterous cheers they were letting out barely even a minute ago, the bathroom went completely silent.

Chapter Text

“Do you guys have a plan?” All that could be heard was the air filtering in and out of the small window by the ceiling. “I’m assuming that this means no.”

“What? No! Of course we have a plan!” Frye said with a huff.

“Then what is it?”

“Well, uh…” Frye whipped back around facing Shiver. She had to whisper so Dedf1sh couldn't overhear them. “Shiver! What's the plan?”

“Why am I the one who needs to come up with the plan?” She whispered back.

Big Man took a sip of his pink lemonade before speaking.

“Ay... (Well, you were the one that came up with the idea…)”

“Ugh…” Shiver rolled her eyes and rubbed her temples with her thumb. “By the way, why the pink lemonade?”

“Ay—(Well it's because—)”

“You’re dodging the question.”

Frye jumped at Dedf1sh’s sudden interjection. “How did you hear us?”

“You aren't exactly being quiet. Your whispers are louder than you think.”

“Shit,” Shiver said. “Yeah, I guess we don't have a plan.”

“Then let's make one!” Frye pumped her fist into the air. “What items do we have on us?”

Frye opened her clutch, watching her pungi, her eel mask, three coins, a lighter, a fake ID, and three splatbombs all fall out onto the floor with a slosh of yellow ink. Big Man pulled out four smoke bombs from his headpiece.

“Wasn’t there a strict, no-weapons rule?”

“I honestly didn't know I had bombs in there,” Frye shrugged.

Shiver just looked utterly confused at Frye, and pulled out her wallet, her mask, a second, dangerous looking hand-fan, some loose bobby pins, her makeup bag, and four loose shark treats.

“Dedf1sh? How about you?” Frye asked.

They pulled out a (frankly overwhelming) amount of vape cartridges, a small mountain of toothpicks, three separate phone chargers, and their CQ-80 from their skirt pockets.

“Okay…better than nothing,” Shiver said, staring down at the pile of things they had.

“That isn't everything.” Dedf1sh took off her cap, and fished out a shot glass, and a small bottle of rubbing alcohol.

“Ay…Ay, ay? (Dedf1sh…what are those for?)” Big Man ayed, pointing his fin towards the shot glass and bottle of rubbing alcohol.

Dedf1sh just stared back. With a slow, but steady movement, they uncapped the rubbing alcohol, and poured it into the glass. They didn’t look away from Big Man the whole time, staring at him through their glasses. When the shot glass was nearly full, Dedf1sh set down the rubbing alcohol, and panned the shot glass over to Big Man.

“Ayyyy? (What…do you want me to do with that?)”

Bringing their hand back to themself, Dedf1sh brought the shot glass up to their lips, and a quick flick of the wrist, they took the shot.

“AYYYY AYYYYYYY!!! (DEDF1SH NO!!!)”

“It burns as it goes down.” They typed into the CQ-80.

“Yeah, no shit Shell-lock. It’s rubbing alcohol.” Shiver said.

“You want any?” Frye got excited at the prospect, but Shiver held her back and shook her head. Dedf1sh shrugged. “More for me then.”

“AY! (NO!)” Big Man rushed over and took the rubbing alcohol from Dedf1sh.

“It doesn’t even hurt.”

“AYYY!”

“I’m not even alive—”

“AY!”

“Can I at least have the shot glass—”

“AYYYY!!!”

Dedf1sh resigned with a shrug. Even through the thick, dark, glasses, Frye could tell they rolled their eyes.

All of them compiled their things in the center of the bathroom floor. It was an odd assortment, that much was sure, but they’d be able to come up with something. Shiver and Frye both sat down around the pile, trying to parse together any sort of plan. Dedf1sh promptly mirrored, kneeling across from both of them. Big Man remained standing, practically vibrating with anxiety.

A sort of half-baked idea occurred to Frye as she stared at her pungi on the tiled floor. She leaned over to Shiver to propose it.

“Would it be considered socially unacceptable for me to summon 11 to 5000 eels right now?” Frye asked. Shiver leaned back to give her reply.

“Very much so.”

“Whelp, I’m outta ideas.”

“Wait, you can summon eels?”

“It’s like, a whole thing. Wait a second...was I supposed to get them valet parked too? Cod, this is confusing.”

“Ay! (You don't need to. In Inkopolis they're considered emotional support animals instead of vehicles.)”

“Oh. Neat!” Frye looped her arm around Shiver. “But anyway, that's nothing! Babygirl over here can summon an entire megalodon!”

Shiver covered her face with her hand-fan, and shoved Frye off of her.

“It’s nothing! Master Mega just—uh,” Her cheeks were steadily growing redder. “He…hates parking.”

Frye felt the satisfaction of getting Shiver flustered. While Shiver continued to struggle to formulate a sentence, the beginnings of a brilliant idea occurred to Frye.

“This isn't going anywhere.” Dedf1sh groaned as her CQ-80 spoke. She pulled up a small holographic screen. “The CQ-80 has a whiteboard function. Here,” Dedf1sh enlarged the screen and projected it up towards the wall of the bathroom. “This might aid in your efforts.”

Frye began to rev herself up when the whiteboard was projected.

“Wait. Dedf1sh, you vape right?” She suddenly asked. Dedf1sh tilted their head in response. Frye couldn’t tell if it was out of confusion or interest. They took a moment to type out their sentence on the CQ-80.

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Alright, alright, alright. Hear me out here-” Frye practically jumped off the floor and headed towards the whiteboard. “Wait, how does this work? Is there like, a pen?”

Dedf1sh shook her head and made her way up to the screen. She scratched the hologram with her claws. In response, three black lines followed the path they had made.

Frye nodded in understanding, and Dedf1sh went back to sorting around the hoard of objects. She returned to her earlier enthusiasm, starting off by drawing with a stick figure with a baseball cap.

“Alright, so Dedf1sh! So you’ll be the one kicking off the plan! You’re gonna start by distracting the crowd.” Frye drew a big cloud directly next to the mini Dedf1sh. “I’m gonna need you to blow the freshest, and I mean the freshest vape cloud to bring attention away from us!”

This was followed up by a stick figure of Frye herself, playing her pungi. “Now, While they’re distracted, I’ll summon my eels!” Frye almost manically drew as she talked. “I’ll tell them to tie themselves to the ice sculpture.”

She turned from her drawing and pointed directly at Shiver.

“And then! Hot stuff here will summon Master Mega! We’ll tie the eels to him and then ride off into the sunset!”

Frye was nearly panting, having not taken a breath the entire time. Shiver was covering her face with her fan, nearly turning red. Big Man seemed to still be anxiously waiting in the corner.

“Why do I need to blow a vape cloud?”

“To distract the crowd! Weren't you listening?” Frye replied.

“You have smoke bombs.”

“Ay! Ay! (You have more vape cartridges than we do smoke bombs. Also vaping is less suspicious.)”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Yeah, but don’t you think it’d work?” Frye said.

“Ayy, (I’d say it still needs a bit more workshopping,)” Big Man took a sip of his lemonade again.

“You always say that!”

“Hate to break it to you curly-Frye, but Big Man is right about that.” Shiver had finally seemed to get over her previous speechlessness. “Besides, there’s way too many people for one vape cloud to distract them all, even if it is a very fresh vape cloud.”

“Do you propose a better option?”

“I actually do.” Shiver got up and moved to the opposite side of the whiteboard as Frye. She scrawled a little crowd of people, and a door next to them. “We’ll throw a big spectacle outside! One that’ll surely draw all the people to the courtyard, and then when everyone’s distracted, we’ll sneak the sculpture and attach it to Master Mega’s saddle. He'll do a double floop and skim the blorble, and then we're home free!”

She finished a drawing of Master Mega with a flourish.

“I even wrote a haiku,” Shiver straightened her back, and wrote it down in the center of the white board. When she finished, she turned back around, and began to speak it aloud.

“The ice sculpture sings,”

“The songs of one thousand stars,”

“Bringing life to all.”

Frye and Big Man gave roaring cheers, their applause echoing off the tiles of the bathroom. Dedf1sh patted her lap as applause, using her other hand to type.

“Cool haiku. Questions: What is a blorble? How does one floop? What the shell does any of this mean?”

“Ay! (It's a Splatlandian thing.)”

“Well then. Disregarding that, doesn’t that plan also seem a little lofty? We can’t expect that everyone will go out and watch. What about the staff?”

“Are you saying that we aren’t fresh enough to take the staff with us?” Shiver snapped back.

“Never discount how intimidating a tyrannical manager can be.”

“Ay? (Well, do you have an idea?)”

With a grumble, Dedf1sh stood up and made her way to the whiteboard. Both Frye and Shiver stepped back while she worked. Dedf1sh zoomed out on the current whiteboard, finding a space that wasn’t already taken up by either doodles or the haiku.

She wasn’t able to speak, as she didn’t have a free hand to use her CQ-80. First, she drew herself, then all three of her current companions. Next, arrows from each person, flowing out to a different area. Under Frye she wrote lobby, Big Man was kitchen/staff area, Shiver was courtyard, and under herself she wrote upper balcony.

Beside her sketch of Big Man, Dedf1sh drew a large crowd. Shiver had a crossed out eye by hers, and Frye had a door drawn by her. Dedf1sh drew a camera by herself.

She dropped her hand, and turned back around. It took Dedf1sh a moment to type out the message on the CQ-80, but she eventually was able to finish it. They started off with Shiver, pointing at her cartoon drawing.

“Shiver, is it? You’ll be scouting out the courtyard area. Find any possible escape routes. Preferably ones where we won't be seen. And while you’re there, work on drawing as many people away from the lobby as possible.”

Dedf1sh then pointed towards Frye.

“Your job is to assist Shiver in getting as many people away from the ice sculpture as possible. You will also be responsible for finding escape routes outside the building.”

She finally pointed at Big Man.

“Your job is to unionize the workers.”

A thud on the door cut them off. Dedf1sh froze, not typing out anything on her CQ-80.

Someone on the other side was fumbling with the handle. It latched and unlatched.

They hadn't locked the door.

All of them scrambled to hide any damning evidence.

Dedf1sh tried her best to close the whiteboard, navigating the screen of the CQ-80.

When she had finally come up with the cancel screen, she tightened her grip of the CQ-80, trying to delete the whiteboard as quickly as possible. In their rush, the smooth plastic of the CQ-80 slipped against the fabric of their evening gloves, and it fell to the floor with a clatter.

Before any of them could comprehend what had happened, the door or the bathroom burst open.

Chapter Text

Two people stumbled into the bathroom, a taller Octoling half carrying a smaller Inkling inside. Loud smacking filled the room as they clammored in, the two completely preoccupied by kissing one another. Frye squinted at them, trying to put names to faces for a second before recognizing them as the idols of Off the Hook. The four remained frozen as Marina lifted Pearl’s leg around her hip and pinned her against a wall.

Pausing for a second, Marina pulled back and cupped Pearl’s cheek, gazing into her fiery eyes. “Cod, those producers were so dull. I can’t believe they were keeping me away from you.”

“Ye-yeah Rina, heh, I thought they’d never shut up,” panted an out of breath Pearl. “I was gettin’ real tired of their- ah!”

Marina interrupted Pearl with a nip to her neck, then continued kissing up to her chin as she caressed Pearl’s tentacles. Both were breathing heavy between kisses as Marina moved her hand to tug at the strap of Pearl’s evening gown. Once it rolled off of her shoulder, Marina stopped kissing and pressed her forehead against Pearl’s, her breath warming both of their lips. The hand Marina had in Pearl’s tentacles tightened as she pulled her tentacles back with a playful yank. Pearl gasped.

“You’re so cute when you’re flustered, Pearlie.”

The subtle sound of liquid hitting a shot glass trickled through the room, followed by a gulp and a clink of glass on tile. Both Pearl and Marina froze. Slowly, Marina turned her head to face the crowd, mortification spreading across her face as she realized they weren't alone. In an instant, Marina dropped Pearl on the floor and dashed to the corner.

“Ow!” Pearl yelled, hitting her head on the tiled floor with a splat. “Fuck!”

“You want any?” Dedf1sh asked, holding out the shot glass towards them.

“Ay? (How’d you get that back?)”

Marina, who was blushing severely, seemed to grow even more embarrassed by the second. She pressed hard back into the wall, tripping over her words, while Pearl was leaning up on her elbows, rubbing the back of her head.

“Fancy seeing you two here.”

Pearl seemed to regain her composure first, being able to look Dedf1sh and Deep Cut in the eye, and fully take in the scene. It was an odd one, with Shiver and Frye on the floor, surrounding a miscellaneous pile of objects that probably shouldn’t be in a bathroom, Big Man fighting Dedf1sh for a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and a large whiteboard behind them.

“Ahato? I didn't think you'd be here.” Pearl said. She sat up fully, finally getting a view of the giant holographic whiteboard. “Wait a hot sec, are you guys playing Pictionary in the bathroom?”

Shiver was the one who responded.

“Actually we’re—” Frye immediately slapped her hand over Shiver’s mouth.

“Yup! We’re playing Pictionary!”

“Oh sick! What was the word?”

Dedf1sh looked back and forth between Pearl and the scrawled plan on the whiteboard. An almost panicked expression appeared on their face. Their thumb trembled as she typed out their response.

“Crime.” All of Deep Cut cringed, but Pearl and Marina seemed none the wiser, their faces mostly straight, still tinged with the embarrassment of being caught.

“Shell yeah!” Pearl practically jumped up from the floor. “Ooh! Can we go next? I’m great at Pictionary!”

Everyone else looked at each other. Frye was just confused, Big Man was somehow vibrating even harder with anxiety, and Shiver was fully facepalming with her fan.

“Go ahead?” Frye finally said to them.

“Awesome!” Pearl jumped up. “I have the perfect word for us Marina come on—”

“Actually,” Dedf1sh’s CQ-80 spoke. It took Dedf1sh a bit longer to finish her statement. “We have a word bank.”

She stared, unblinking at Deep Cut, silently telling them to go along. Big Man raised his fins and backed up, giving complete control to Dedf1sh.

Pearl happily dragged Marina from her corner and up to Dedf1sh. She seemed to have lost all traces of the past embarrassment, while Marina was slowly gaining her composure back, standing up a little straighter, but still wringing her hands out in front of herself.

Dedf1sh panned their CQ-80 over to Pearl and Marina, then pressed the center button. Frye craned her neck to see the screen, to little avail.

“The one Eight was writing poems about?” Marina muttered to Pearl.

“I think so,” Pearl said back, as Dedf1sh slid the CQ-80 back into her pocket. “Aight! We got it!”

Afterwards, Dedf1sh gave the same tutorial to use the whiteboard to Pearl and Marina. Then, Dedf1sh moved the screen to a clean part of the whiteboard, and went to sit back down with Deep Cut.

Pearl and Marina began discussing in hushed breaths, careful to not reveal their word. Meanwhile, Frye, Shiver, and Big Man were all sitting around the object pile, waiting for Dedf1sh to explain.

“Why are we doing this?” Shiver asked in a hushed tone, when Dedf1sh failed to provide an explanation.

Dedf1sh typed again, but instead of having it speak, they merely panned the small projected screen over to the others, having them read her text instead.

Ahato: long story short: these guys are making our plan now

“What? Why should we trust them?” Frye whispered.

Dedf1sh went back to typing, filling the silence with the sound of claws against plastic.

Ahato: we aren't trusting them with anything. as far as they know, they're playing pictionary.

“Ay? (So what did you tell them?)” Big Man whispered.

Ahato: only what they needed to know. their word is “a way to steal the ice sculpture in the lobby”

“Ay? (Isn't that a little obvious?)”

Ahato: it should have been obvious that there were 4 entire people in this bathroom, yet here we are

“But how do we know their plan is gonna be fresh—” Shiver started.

“Can you guys stop whispering?” Marina called back. “You’re making it hard to focus.”

Ahato: holy carp it actually worked

“Ay? (You were expecting it to fail?)”

Ahato: i wasn't necessarily expecting it to work

All of Deep Cut sat, baffled at both Dedf1sh and Off the Hook.

Ahato: but to answer your question from earlier, the plan will be fresh because Marina is a combat engineer. and pearl is rich as fuck.

Marina started off by drawing a bird’s eye view of the building, with a circle in the middle, seemingly the ice sculpture. Pearl drew things like tables and walkways. They whispered to each other again.

They started up again by drawing little stick people outside, in the courtyard, followed by a dotted line out the staff door.

“Well, how would you get it out?” Marina asked, audible enough for Deep Cut to parse it together.

“Helicopter.”

“How do you get it into the helicopter?”

Pearl erased Marina’s line out of the staff door, then drew a line up to the balcony.

“At that point we’d have to disable the cameras too.”

“I thought we already would have?” Pearl then took it upon herself to move to the side and start a checklist. Step one was to disable the cameras.

“If we’re disabling the cameras, we won’t need to cause a problem to evacuate the people. We can just give them a warning.”

“But don’t you want to set a fire?”

“Not necessarily.”

“No fun.”

“Well I’m just saying it would be easier just to send out a fake evacuation signal.”

“Fine! Fine! Have fun with your plan that makes sense. But don't call me when you need someone to set a fire!”

“Pearlie…it's an ice sculpture. Fire would melt it.”

“Shut up.”

Marina moved to the side of the plan, writing #FIREPEARL in big letters.

“Except this time it's literal!” Pearl happily shouted.

Marina and Pearl went on for a while, with Marina drawing out the plan on the make-shift map, and Pearl writing down the checklist for the whole scene.

“I can’t believe they’re actually doing this!” Shiver whispered. “The Soaring Sentinel will be ours!”

After a bit, the plan almost seemed finished, with a full checklist, floor plan, and an equipment list. Marina and Pearl studied the list, checking every detail. When suddenly, Pearl underlined one of the steps.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait. ‘Rina. How are we getting the sculpture into the elevator?”

“Oh…hmmm…” She scratched her chin. “It’s far too large for either of us to carry it…”

“No shit.”

“Oh we can get that…thing.”

“What thing?”

“The—uh—moving platform thing. DJ Octavio? Carp, I forgot the Inkling word for it…”

“Ooh!” Frye jumped up, waving her hand in the air. “The trolley!”

“Yes!” She snapped her fingers. "Thank you, Frye!” Marina drew a small trolley in the corner for reference.

“Wait, but that wasn't our word, ‘Rina.”

“Oh…then no!” Marina turned back to the board before pausing, then zipping back around. “Wait a second! Why haven’t the rest of you been guessing words?”

Everyone looked at each other, trying to immediately think of an excuse. But before they could, Pearl cut them off.

“Are you guys going to steal the ice sculpture?” Pearl asked. Her question was met with silence. “Wait a sec, did you guys just…force us to make a plan for your heist?”

Deep Cut all looked at each other, and raised their hands (and fins) in the air.

“Guilty as charged.” Shiver said.

“Oh cod…” Marina said with a groan, hiding her face in her hands. “What did I just do?”

“That’s so cool!” Pearl nearly shouted, startling the rest of them.

“Ay? (Wait, what?)”

“Are you kidding? This is the freshest thing that’ll happen all night! The producers are so boring.”

“Wait, you’ll help? Like, actually?” Frye said

“Totally!”

“Just, as long as you don’t tell anyone about our…ummm, y’know, indiscretion.” Marina said, her voice muffled by her hands.

“Ay, (Our lips are sealed.)”

“Wait a hot sec!” Pearl interjected again. “Do you guys have anything else that would help out this little heist of yours?”

“Ay—(Well we have—)”

“EELS!” Frye yelled out.

“SHARK!” Shiver yelled louder.

“Venom.”

With a sigh, Marina removed her hands from her face, and made a little list in the bottom corner of the screen.

“I’m assuming all of those things cluttering the floor are fair game too?” Marina asked with a sigh.

“Shell yeah, they are!” Frye jumped up.

“Well, in that case…” Marina begrudgingly went to change some of the little pictures she'd drawn, adding a manga-esque Dedf1sh into the scene. “If we work together, perhaps we can disable the camera systems faster.”

“I’m fairly tech savvy.”

“Ay! (And then we can get the sculpture into the elevator!)”

“And then we get it onto the roof!” Frye yelled.

“I’ll get to calling my helicopter guy!” Pearl pulled out her phone with one hand, and pumped her fist in the air with the other.

“FUCK YEAH! ICE SCULPTURE HERE WE COME!” Shiver shouted, her cool composure dropping in excitement.

Now that Deep Cut had an official plan, they all started to gather up their things, putting them all back in their pockets.

Pearl and Marina straightened themselves up a little in the mirror. Marina brushed off her suit coat while Pearl adjusted her dress strap to be in the proper position.

Dedf1sh walked by the small window by the ceiling and let out one final puff of her vape, before going back and collecting their things.

Deep Cut pulled their things out of the pile, and stashed it back in their pockets and bags.

“How do you even fit your pungi in your clutch?” Shiver asked.

“I just don’t question it.”

They all gathered up their things, and, as nonchalantly as six people exiting the same single-stall bathroom at the same time could, went back to their party, scouting out the best ways to execute the plan. All of them added each other to their contacts, then each band went their separate ways. But they all kept each other within eyeshot.

However, during their little recon mission, Callie and Marie ran into Deep Cut again and decided it was the perfect time to push them around and meet other bands. Both of them had gotten progressively less sober since their last meeting, with Callie’s face almost completely flushed, her gait shifted to stumbling nearly every other step.

Marie was holding it together marginally better. Though, that could have only been because she wasn't talking as much as Callie. Her face was still flushed, and she seemed to be slightly leaning on either Captain 3, Agent 4, or Callie at any given moment.

Very few of the bands they showed them actually stuck in their brains.

“Ooh! Guys c'mon! You’ve—” Callie was cut off by her own hiccup. “—You’ve gotta meet Dedf1sh. She's so cool…”

Callie dragged them by their wrists towards a remote table in the corner of the venue.

“Ay! (Oh! Well we've already met!)”

“Heh. You're really funny Big Man. S’ anyone ever told you that?”

He tilted his head in confusion, which was pretty much him tilting his entire body.

Frye and Shiver both sighed and went along with it.

The table was inhabited by a few people. On one side was Dedf1sh, and on the other was Harmony.

Dedf1sh wasn't wearing her baseball cap anymore, having traded in the white hat for a yellow and black striped cap. Looking over, Harmony was wearing a gray and white cap, with Dedf1sh’s stylized octopus.

“Did—” another hiccup caught Callie off guard. “Did’ya swap hats?”

“No,” Dedf1sh replied. After that, she turned back towards Harmony. In between them was a pile of meticulously stacked toothpicks, which Harmony was currently building onto. Dedf1sh was handing off toothpicks for her, while holding her personal shot glass in the other hand.

“Ay! (That better not be what I think it is.)”

“Oh…was she drinking the rubbing alcohol again?” Harmony asked, trailing off near the end.

“AY? (YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?)”

Dedf1sh set down the shot glass and typed.

“It’s the only thing strong enough to get sanitized individuals drunk.”

“That’s kind of fucked,” Shiver replied.

“Yeah, but who cares? It's party time! ‘Whatever gets you drunk,’ that's what me and Marie say!” Callie looped her arm around Marie's shoulders. Marie just grumbled and flagged down another waiter.

Marie swapped out her gin and tonic for a glass of red wine, while Callie ordered a Piña Colada. After they got a hold of their drinks, Callie carted all them away again.

Another table, Off the Hook. Pearl was frantically tapping away on her phone, while Marina fiddled with her hands, spinning the brella around.

“Hey, Marina…why didn't you just get the staff to take your umbrella?” Callie asked. “That’d be so much more easier than carrying it around, right?”

Callie giggled to herself as she talked. She could barely get a word out as Marina awkwardly leaned over to Deep Cut’s side.

“Is she doing okay? Like, that didn't make any sense to you either, right?”

Frye shrugged and Marina crossed her arms.

“Hey, wait a sec! Deep Cut, have you dranken anything yet? Drunken?” Callie asked, completely dropping the subject with Marina. “Is it drank or drunk? Drink, drank, drunk…Dronk?”

Callie giggled again, snorting a little. “Dronken.”

“You see what I mean?” Marina whispered again.

Deep Cut remained silent. Callie turned back, shocked.

“Well c’mon! Get something in your system! It's a party after all!”

“Ay— (Isn't this supposed to be a profreshional environment—)”

“Shhhhhh!” Callie cut him off with a lopsided grin. “The producers don't need to know.”

So each of them ordered their respective drinks. A virgin mimosa for Frye. Pink lemonade for Big Man. And Shiver was doing shots of hot sauce, which she kept insisting weren't spicy at all.

“We’ll let your taste buds be the judge of that then, Sharkbite,” Frye said, pouring Shiver another shot.

The sound of a fork tapping against glass hushed the crowd as one of the producers gathered attention to give a speech. He moved to a more visible spot beneath the indoor balcony, cleared his throat, and began speaking dry acknowledgements about many of the attendees. The speech meandered along until it landed on the topic of advertising advice. Frye glanced to Shiver who glanced to Big Man, all of them silently agreeing that this was probably the worst part of a producer party. At least with the mingling, they got to see what Harmony was doing with the toothpicks. They didn’t even know what the guy was saying.

Frye just kept pouring Shiver shots of hot sauce, trying to drown out the endless talks about advertising. It was certainly more entertaining to watch her deny how spicy it was than watch some guy in a suit for hours.

“Oh, c’mon Shiv, you can do better than that!”

Shiver panted a response. “Oh, hoh, like you could- heh- do better.”

In defiance, Frye poured herself a shot of hot sauce. She tossed her head back and took the shot. It tingled as it went down, but that was it. “Well that was…underwhelming.”

Shiver stared back in both indignation and wonder. Frye went back to her virgin mimosa, washing down the lack-luster hot sauce.

They were interrupted when Marina shot them a look from across the lobby. Then all of their phones went off at the same time.

Chapter Text

🐙🦑MARINA’S SUPER SECRET HEI$T CHAT★ROOM🦑🐙

▗Webmaster▖> DJ_Hyperfresh has joined the chatroom

DJ_Hyperfresh > ok listen now would be the perfect time for me and dedf1sh to start the first step of the plan.

▗Webmaster▖> dedf1sh has joined the chatroom

dedf1sh > i’ll work on disabling the upstairs cameras. ive rigged my cq-80 to hack into it remotely.

DJ_Hyperfresh > I can work on it through my computer. I’ll have to find a discreet location though.

DJ_Hyperfresh > I don’t want people to see me actively work towards committing a crime

▗Webmaster▖> Side_Of_Fryes has joined the chatroom

Side_Of_Fryes > oh carp we’re starting now?

Side_Of_Fryes > lemme get the others.

▗Webmaster▖> THEHYPEMANTA has joined the chatroom

▗Webmaster▖> Cold_blooded_Shiver has joined the chatroom

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay?

DJ_Hyperfresh > Wait a sec, let me hook up the translator.

▗Webmaster▖> Hyperfresh-Translate Plug-in has been added to the chatroom

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay?

Hyperfresh-Translate > (We’re starting?)

Cold_blooded_Shiver > Where should we go?

DJ_Hyperfresh > Stay on the DL until ded and I finish overriding the cameras. But search for ways to cause problems just in case we can’t send out an evac signal.

DJ_Hyperfresh > Is the bathroom too obvious of a place to do this?

Cold_blooded_Shiver > considering what happened not even like…an hour ago? definitely

DJ_Hyperfresh > …

DJ_Hyperfresh > good point.

dedf1sh > we can hang out in my gf’s van

dedf1sh > technically it’s the band’s van

DJ_Hyperfresh > Wait, you have a girlfriend?

THEHYPEMANTA > Ayyy!

Hyperfresh-Translate > (Congratulations!)

dedf1sh > here, give me a second.

▗Webmaster▖> dedf1sh invited anonymous-anemone to chatroom

▗Webmaster▖> anonymous-anemone has joined the chatroom

anonymous-anemone > woah

anonymous-anemone > what’s happening

Side_Of_Fryes > Can we borrow your van for nefarious purposes?

Cold_blooded_Shiver > real subtle there curly-frye.

anonymous-anemone > yeah sure

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay ay?

Hyperfresh-Translate > (Wait, that actually worked?)

anonymous-anemone > there’s no nice way to say this, but I actually couldn’t care less

DJ_Hyperfresh > We wanted to be polite.

anonymous-anemone > go ahead.

anonymous-anemone > dedf1sh knows where it is

DJ_Hyperfresh > Thank you!

anonymous-anemone > yeah, sure.

They all turned off their phones, waiting for the right moment to slip away. Another notification alerted them, causing Frye to check her phone again.

anonymous-anemone > anyone wanna see the toothpick house me and f1shy made

anonymous-anemone > a-home.jpeg

dedf1sh > effervescent

Frye could see Marina roll her eyes across the floor, then artfully weave her way through the crowd, meeting Dedf1sh at the main entrance, and heading out to the street, towards the parking garage.

Deep Cut started to head to their own places. Big Man subtly made his way by the kitchen, Frye to the upper balcony, and Shiver directly by the ice sculpture. Each one of them kept an eye on the cameras, waiting for any sign of powering off, waiting for any sign of deactivation.

The producer had traded off with another guy for the speech, but they were just as boring. Constantly droning on about money and advertising. Frye could see Shiver fake gagging from the balcony. Big Man seemed to be making pleasant conversation with some of the workers, from the muted ‘Ays’ she heard from across the floor.

Eventually, the red light on the closest camera went out. No one seemed to notice, except for Shiver, who made eye contact with Frye from the bottom floor. Big Man was steadily growing a small crowd of workers by him. They all got a text on their phone.

DJ_Hyperfresh > Ok, the cameras are down. Dedf1sh is currently trying to hack into the intercoms so we can send an evacuation notice.

dedf1sh > it might take a bit. it’s more of a closed system than the cameras. just be ready to start a problem if i fail. y'know. for evacuation purposes

Side_Of_Fryes > That is within our abilities!

Marina had walked back into the lobby, and made it back to Pearl’s side. They all started to get prepared. Shiver had moved into a corner, swapping out her normal hand fan for the dangerous one. She also had put on her shark mask, signaling for Frye and Big Man to do the same.

Big Man and his new following of the entire kitchen staff had moved to the back of the lobby, with Big Man putting on his mask.

C old_blooded_Shiver > big man what are you doing over there

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay! Ay ay!

Hyperfresh-Translate > (I may have started a union)

Side_Of_Fryes > FUCK YEAHHHH!!!!!!

▗Webmaster▖> MC.Princess has joined the chatroom

MC.Princess > AYO???

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay! Ayy!

Hyperfresh-Translate > (We’re going out for coffee next tuesday. Also they won’t report us to the cops.)

MC.Princess > I also made a deal with Ink Theory. They won’t report u either. They’ll even play the background music.

Side_Of_Fryes > CAN THEY HIDE AND SLEEK? THATD BE PERFEECT

MC.Princess > I’ll ask them.

dedf1sh > anyways. i was able to somewhat hack into the intercom system.

dedf1sh > and by that i mean i broke into the camera room.

dedf1sh > i have about 3 minutes before people find out that i poisoned the security guard.

DJ_Hyperfresh > YOU DID WHAT?

Cold_blooded_Shiver > THAT’S SO FRESH

DJ_Hyperfresh > NO

DJ_Hyperfresh > NO IT ISN’TT

dedf1sh > relax

dedf1sh > he’ll be awake in like…10 minutes

dedf1sh > just get ready to steal the ice sculpture.

Frye put on her mask, and braced herself against the railing of the balcony, waiting for the next step of the plan to commence. Shiver carefully covered her expression with her fan again, and Big Man was hyping up all of the workers he’d unionized.

Right then, a chime on the speaker system silenced everyone, followed by the familiar robotic voice of Dedf1sh’s CQ-80.

“Greetings everyone. We are currently experiencing a Code-” A large thud cut off the message. “Please evacuate the building-”

Another large thud followed.

“Pardon the interruption. One of the patrons had temporarily overtaken our comm system. Please resume your original activities.”

The comms started being filled with static shouts, thuds, and at one point, the sound of shattering glass, before eventually cutting off.

dedf1sh > ok it turns out i had less than three minutes.

dedf1sh > i may be biting more people than expected.

THEHYPEMANTA > AYYYY! AY!

Hyperfresh-Translate > (Go get it, girl!)

dedf1sh > on the plus side, you probably won’t have to worry about security, considering i’m currently poisoning most of the workers that didn’t join Big Man’s union.

dedf1sh > now it’s up to you guys to cause a problem large enough to distract the crowd while i fdisufhsjna

dedf1sh > sorry i just had to bite a guy. anyway while these guys keep coming at me, go crazy.

Deep Cut and Off the Hook both made eye contact with each other. Marina facepalmed, while Pearl happily clapped her hands together.

Side_Of_Fryes > which one of us wants to cause the distraction?

Cold_blooded_Shiver > ME

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay!

Hyperfresh-Translate > (Me!)

Side_Of_Fryes > awww…I wanted to do it…

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay! Ay!

Hyperfresh-Translate > (Let's decide with rock, paper, scissors!)

DJ_Hyperfresh > No good decision can be made like this

From across the venue, all three of them made eye contact. Shiver and Frye formed a fist and placed it on their palms, while Big Man readied his fins by clapping them together.

They all nodded, and began. The rhythmic sound of their fists (and fins) uniting them. This would decide the course of the night.

Deep Cut didn't have to think about their choice. From the beginning, they knew what move they were going to throw down. They felt it deep within their souls.

The final hit, and they threw down their attacks.

Frye’s hand lay flat, while Shiver’s was curled up into a fist. She smirked from the balcony while Shiver sulked away.

Her eyes turned to Big Man, to see his move.

His fins were crossed together.

He had played scissors.

DJ_Hyperfresh > How does this work? You all lost.

THEHYPEMANTA > AY! AY!

Hyperfresh-Translate > (THAT MEANS WE ALL GET TO CAUSE THE DISTRACTION!!!)

DJ_Hyperfresh > Dear Cod.

Shiver, Frye, and Big Man all looked back at each other. They all knew what they were thinking. They didn’t even have to send a text.

It’s showtime.

Chapter Text

Frye kicked the whole thing off by taking the three splatbombs out of her clutch. She pushed two to either end of the railing, until they collided with the wall, and placed one in the center of the railing. 

All three detonated at once, splattering ink all over the balcony, and some landing on the floor. Frye jumped on the railing, and yelled out to the crowd.

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” Shiver took this opportunity to super jump onto the railing next to Frye. Big Man sunk into the floor and swam up to stand behind both of them, leaving a trail of venom behind him.

All three of them stood on the upper balcony railing, staring out into the crowd, as menacing as possible. They could see Callie begin to jump with excitement in the crowd, and Marie just slowly shook her head next to her.

“Ha ha! Who are you s’pposed to be?” Callie yelled out to them, very excitedly.

“We’re not SUPPOSED to be anything.” All three of them yelled back. It felt more like a call and response between Deep Cut and Callie, but they’d take anything at this point. “But we’ll tell you who we are!”

Some people left the lobby. Others looked very excited about it. Pearl was cheering them on from the background, while Marina looked like she was frantically texting someone. Probably Dedf1sh.

“Say it with sizzle… I’m Frye!” She tossed her mask aside, watching it fall off the balcony, and onto a random person’s head. A yelp quickly followed, and more people left. 

“You think you’re cool? Sharks call ME cold-blooded! But you can call me Shiver!” Shiver snapped her mask out into her fan. Roaring cheers started to build up. Come to think of it, it could be entirely just Pearl and Callie cheering for them, but it didn’t matter.

“Ay! (Make money! Get fish quick!)” Big Man took off his mask too, much gentler than the other two. “Ay! (Big Man in the house!)”

“What are you three even doing?” They heard Marie yell out. 

“We’re claiming this banquet as OUR turf!” Frye shot back, pointing out to the crowd.

“And we’re gonna loot this place dry!” Shiver continued.

“Ay! (Yeah!)”

“We are… Deep Cut!”

Callie cheered so loud that she riled up the whole crowd with her. Their applause was deafening, and they had captured the full attention of the audience. Unfortunately, that meant no one was running away.

“I don’t think this is what the original form of the plan was supposed to be.” Shiver whispered.

“Ay? (Don’t most people run away screaming at this part?)”

“Usually,” Frye responded. “Should I summon the eels, or do we just, like, keep on going.”

“Maybe we should just do the choreo for Anarchy Rainbow.”

“Ay? (On a railing? )”

“We’ve done harder.” Frye whispered back.

The crowd’s cheers started dying down, and all three of them realized they had no idea what they were doing. Shiver started to speak.

“You may know us as the ones who run the Anarchy Splatcast in Splatsville. But tonight? We’re delving into our real job and we’re going to steal—”

Big Man slapped a fin over her mouth. And Frye’s for good measure.

“Ay ay! (Tune into Anarchy Splatcast! Every two hours in Splatsville and anywhere where you can find podcasts!)”

Big Man immediately jumped back onto the balcony, Shiver and Frye in fin, and ran as far away as he could. Weaving through hallways, they ended up in the kitchen area before Big Man let Shiver and Frye go.

“What was that for?” Shiver asked.

“AY! (YOU WERE GIVING AWAY THE PLAN!)”

Big Man's shout caught the attention of a cook, who slowly glanced away and pretended she didn't see them.

“Cod, again?” Shiver once again facepalmed. “I really need to stop doing that.” 

A buzz on their phones alerted all of them to a new message.

MC.Princess > i mean not what we were going for, but the crowd loves you guys

DJ_Hyperfresh > what was your thought process behind that?

DJ_Hyperfresh > y’know what, forget i asked

“So…what are we going to do now?” Shiver asked.

“Ay! (Well, not what we just did. Our cover is kind of blown.)”

“Thanks Shiver.” Frye said, rolling her eyes. “Now I’m out of splatbombs. I spent it all on those theatrics.”

“Listen, if I didn’t blow our cover, one of us would have later. Let’s just be happy that they still don’t know that we’re planning on committing a felony.” Shiver responded.

dedf1sh > what the shell is happening down there

dedf1sh > why did i hear explosions

anonymous-anemone > your friends put on a show

MC.Princess > so they tried to cause a distraction

MC.Princess > but the crowd loves them WAY too much.

“Ay! (Guys I have a new plan!)”

“Oh?” Shiver and Frye both said.

“Ay! (Pearl and Marina cause the distraction.)”

“It’s worth a shot!” Frye said, getting her phone out.

Side_Of_Fryes > Ok, new plan! You guys distract the crowd!

dedf1sh > kinda busy hwerjkewfds

dedf1sh > here*

Cold_blooded_Shiver > did you just bite another guy.

dedf1sh > no i punched him. 

anonymous-anemone > go get em f1shy

Side_Of_Fryes > ANYWAY. Dedf1sh, just keep doing what you’re doing. Off the Hook, we need you!

DJ_Hyperfresh > WHAT

DJ_Hyperfresh > I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THISS

MC.Princess > I DID!!!!

MC.Princess > WORRY NOT!

“Shell yeah!” Frye pumped her fist in the air. “Pearl’s got us!”

All of Deep Cut filtered back, as inconspicuously as they could, down the stairs, and back to the lobby. The crowd was vibrant with conversation, unconsolidated and creating the perfect cover. Deep Cut surrounded the ice sculpture in a loose triangle, waiting for Pearl to make herself the center of attention. Looking over the crowd, Pearl made eye contact with them, and then winked.

“Hit it, Deep Cut!” Pearl yelled back, voice booming across the venue, silencing the whole crowd. She raised both her arms in the air. Hearing that caused a visceral reaction in Big Man, and he immediately perked up, and started loudly beatboxing. He didn't even blink.

Pearl took a moment to feel the beat before continuing. Marina wrung out her hands faster and faster, trembling as Pearl grooved.

Everyone (except for Big Man) went quiet when Pearl turned towards Marina. She bobbed her head as she took Marina's hands into her own.

She dropped down to one knee, and the crowd collectively gasped.

“‘Rina, we’ve been together all this time.”

“Pearl?” Marina responded, sounding equal parts confused and enamored. 

“I love you so much, it should be a crime.”

“I think that’s our cue!” Shiver whispered, elbowing Frye. It jolted her back to reality, and she saw that all eyes were on Pearl and Marina. A hush had overcome the crowd again. 

“Oh shit.” Frye grabbed her pungi, and played an accompanying melody. She twisted her head around frantically to make sure that no one was looking at the glorious sculpture.

“We’ve had our fair share of struggle and strife.”

Her eels slowly rose from the ground. As best as she could, Shiver and Frye motioned the eels to go under the ice sculpture table.

“But you, my dear, are the light of my life.”

The eels raised the table slightly off of the ground, moving it slowly towards the elevator.

“So Marina Ida, I ask,”

“To help complete this royal task.”

Time crawled forward a heartbeat at a time.

“Marina Ida, light of my life,”

“Will you do the honors of being my wife?”

Shiver and Frye slowly walked away, mashing the call button on the elevator. The crowd was hushed, waiting for Marina’s response. Even Big Man stopped beatboxing.

“O-Of course!” There was still a hint of confusion in her voice, but she quickly circumvented it by picking up Pearl, and kissing her.

The crowd erupted in cheer, completely drowning out Frye’s melody, but not the ding of the elevator. Thankfully, her eels were still slowly moving towards the elevator, but they were growing restless. They writhed under the table and jerked the tablecloth around.

Frye responded by playing louder, but her eels kept tossing and turning. The ice sculpture wobbled around on the table as they squirmed closer.

In the pandemonium, Big Man quickly ran back to Shiver and Frye. Shiver was holding open the elevator door, while Fyre was desperately coaxing her eels to the elevator.

The eels continued their erratic dance, beginning to poke out from under the tablecloth. Frye tried her best to play as loudly as possible, but she still could barely push through the loud cheering of the crowd. 

As quick as the snap of a tri-stringer, one of her eels had flown out from under the tablecloth in confusion, and swam straight for Frye. It rammed into her with a shrill yelp, and coiled around her like a scared shark pup.

The crowd died down immediately, all looking at Deep Cut, who were all standing in and around the elevator. 

Marina nearly dropped Pearl again, but caught her before she hit the floor.

Thankfully, the eels got the message and darted into the elevator. But that wasn't before they could see Callie cheering them on, and Marie fuming by her side. Deep Cut immediately followed the eels and dashed into the elevator. 

“What do you guys think you’re doing?” Marie yelled out from the crowd. None of them had the guts to answer, instead just slamming the button that closed the door. They watched as Marie began to push through the crowd towards them. 

The doors began to slowly close, but Marie had neared them quickly. 

“What do you think you're doing!?” She shouted again, closer this time. The doors were halfway closed. Marie was almost there. 

The doors were almost closed, and Marie slid to a halt. Through the final crack in the door, they saw a tablecloth fly up, and Marie pulled out a Charger from underneath.

That was the last thing they saw before the door closed. Deep Cut was left to choose the floor.

Shiver just slammed the button to the top floor, cracking the metal surface as she did. The elevator was completely silent, not even having accompanying music. Frye took the time to calm down the frightened eel, gently stroking its head as it whimpered.

“A–ay? (W–why did she have a Charger?)”

“Wasn’t there a weapon ban for the party?” Shiver asked, trembling beside the sculpture. 

The eel whined, so Frye held it close to her chest.

“It’s alright baby,” She stroked its head. “If the scary Boss Lady tries to hurt you, just go back into the ink, alright?”

The eel nodded, but didn't leave Frye’s hold.

“Ay? (Is she going to kill us?)”

“What? No…” Shiver couldn't stop her voice from wavering. “Maybe…”

Big Man shook as he took out his phone, and silently texted Pearl and Marina.

THEHYPEMANTA > Ay Ay?

Hyperfresh-Translate > (What's going to happen?)

MC.Princess > WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!

DJ_Hyperfresh > I think they meant about Marie

MC.Princess >  oh yeah

MC.Princess > y'all are fucked

A small chime rang through the silence, and the doors slid open, revealing the mostly empty upper lobby. 

It was dark, and the bitter smell of dust itched Frye’s nostrils. No one had cleaned up this place for a while. Looking up, some of the light bulbs had shattered, littering the ground with dulled shards. 

 The only light that filtered in was from windows which showed out towards the lobby. 

“Ay! (This must be the staff area.)”

It made sense. The area was much less formal than any other room, having wooden chairs and fold-up tables. Many of the doors were labeled too, such as ‘Security’ or the restrooms.

“What do you think happened here?” Frye asked. 

“Nothing compared to what Boss is going to do to us,” Shiver replied. All of them fell back into silence, avoiding the thought of Marie's incoming wrath.

Frye coaxed the eels out of the elevator, ice sculpture in tow. They could see the roof access door, across the staff area. 

Suddenly, one of the glass windows separating the staff area from the rest of the building shattered. Spilling broken glass across the floor, a green squid super jumped in. They hit the floor in a splash of ink, but slowly, a figure rose. When they shifted back, they could see that it was none other than Marie, wine glass in one hand, charger in the other. She took a swig, and let out a hefty sigh, leaving her lips stained red.

“Are you guys squidding me? I invited you here on one condition. One condition! And that was, that you three wouldn’t commit any crimes!” 

Marie slowly swirled her drink, and stared down at them, watching them tremble.

“Well, uh…” Shiver started. “If we're the ones committing crimes, why do you have a charger? Huh? Where's the sense in that?”

She finished off her drink, and set the glass on the ground.

“The rule stated that ‘Guests are prohibited from bringing any form of weapon with them to the venue.’ ”

“What’s with the charger then?” Frye snapped back. Marie sighed. 

“I wasn't finished!” Marie bit back. She kicked her empty glass aside, hearing it crunch over the shattered glass from the window. “I am way too sober for this.” 

With her free hand, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a flask. She tossed her head back, and drank the entire bottle's contents in one gulp. Once she was done, she tossed it aside, next to her discarded glass. 

“The rule prevented me from bringing a weapon. But, it said nothing about coming in five hours early and stashing weapons around the building, when it wasn’t a venue for anything.”

“Why didn't you tell us about that? That would've saved us a whole lot of trouble,” Frye said, crossing her arms.

“Why? Why didn't I tell you?” She pinched the bridge of her nose. Her sigh sounded more like a groan. “This is why I didn't tell you! How much do you guys actually listen?”

“Ayyyy… (We’re sorry boss lady…)” 

“Then put the sculpture back!” 

All three of them shared a single glance. At that moment, they all knew what they had to do. They couldn't hesitate, or else they'd taste defeat.

The sculpture deserved more than what this party had to offer. 

Each one of them took a deep breath, then they charged towards the roof access door. 

In an instant, Marie pulled her charger up to her chest. The green tubing lining her dress seemed to start buzzing, as if something was rushing through it.

She didn't even use her scope. With a flick of her finger, a stream of ink blasted from the nozzle. The tubes in her dress emptied, and ink splattered across the floor, leaving a line of green ink from Marie. 

Something hit the ground with a large thwap. It couldn't have been the sculpture, it would have shattered. And even if that were the case, Frye and Shiver would have been splatted by now. 

Marie shook out one of her hands as they ran. The recoil must have gotten to her.

Shiver and Frye used the moment to turn, looking back to see what had fallen.

Big Man lay frozen on the floor.

He didn't move to stand back up. Rather, he wiped his chest with his fin. It was covered in neon green ink.

The eels continued to move towards the door, but Shiver and Frye dropped everything to go to him. They both collapsed by his side, watching him shudder and gasp.

“ARE YOU OKAY?” Frye yelled, holding one of Big Man’s fins as tight as she could. Big Man flopped over, so he could be facing them. 

“Ayy? (We’re almost there right?)” 

“Yeah,” Shiver sniffled, desperately trying to wipe the ink off of his chest. “We’re almost there. C’mon, get up.” Her fingers stuck in the ink, struggling against it. 

“Ay…(I-I can’t feel my fins…)” His fin slipped out of Frye’s hand, hitting the ground.

“Big Man, no! We can make it! Please, we’re almost there!” Frye cried out.

“Ay. (Leave me. I’m nothing but dead weight now. Go on and finish the job. I believe in you.)”  He struggled, but he cracked a smile.

Frye and Shiver sobbed at his side, hugging Big Man’s unmoving body. His breathing was ragged and shallow.

But when the time came, Frye and Shiver released him. They both stood up, wiping their tears, and stared down Marie. Both of them took a ready stance, waiting for the right moment. Marie held up her Charger, not quite ready to aim, but not completely relaxed either. 

Shiver and Frye both nodded, and fully charged at Marie. She brought up her scope, aiming for both of them. They could hear her trigger finger move, and the subsequent shot. All of them knew how this would end.

A large crackling sound caught Shiver and Frye off guard, but not Marie. Marie’s eyes were locked on Deep Cut as her Charger began to fire. They didn't even have time to look over at the splintered door, focusing entirely on their fate.

In barely a second, a stream of green crossed the entire staff area. It was right up to Marie before she had noticed. No one could even tell what happened, only that the sea green form had collided with Marie mid-shot.

Marie dropped her Charger, turned her head towards the figure, and swooned. 

The figure recoiled, standing up straight.

It was Dedf1sh, venom dripping from her beak, and a subsequent mark on Marie's neck. Her footing became unstable, and she fell, turning into swim form as she did. All of them sat in terror. Dedf1sh wasn’t even panting, just standing, as the sickly fluid dripped over the floor from her beak and fingertips. Ink was splattered over her glasses, and her hat was slightly askew.

“YOU KILLED OUR BOSS!” Shiver was the first to yell out.

Dedf1sh shook her head, then brought out her CQ-80, typing her next message. 

“No. She’s just knocked out. I may have used a bit more on account of adrenaline. But she should be awake within the next 10 minutes to an hour.”

“We need to apologize!” Frye said. 

“Did you hear a word I said? She’s out cold. She isn’t going to hear you. Also she SHOT BIG MAN.”

“She does that all the time!” Shiver yelled out.

“THEN WHY IS HE DYING? ”

A gentle snoring came from across the floor, surely enough, from Big Man.

“See? Now you grab the boss lady!” Frye said, pointing to Dedf1sh. “And someone get her Charger. Big Man! Wake up!”

He opened his eyes with a start, and shot up into a sitting position.

“Ay? (What’s happening?)

“Dedf1sh poisoned Boss, now we’re going to apologize to assistant lady.” 

“Do any of you guys even care about the ice sculpture anymore? Doesn't it deserve freedom? ”

“The eels will watch over it.”

After a couple more mean glares from all of them, Dedf1sh relented, picking up Marie’s squid. Shiver picked up her Charger. Big Man struggled to his feet, and all four of them super jumped back down to the lobby.

A huge crowd was there waiting for them. They were surrounded on all sides by different bands, with Callie front and center. 

Once all of them (save for Marie) got back into their normal forms, Callie immediately started talking their ear off. 

“Oh my Cod you guys! That was so cool! I can’t believe you-” Big Man held his fin out, silencing her.

Dedf1sh walked forward with Marie in hand. 

“Sorry that I poisoned your sister.”

“Y’know, ’s really funny, but we aren’t actually sisters, that's just a brand—YOU POISONED MARIE?”

“She’ll be awake in 10 minutes to an hour. ”

Callie just stared, confused if anything. She took Marie’s squid and just held her. 

“W-what d’ya do to her?” 

“I bit her, ” Dedf1sh’s CQ-80 said.

“Here’s her gun by the way.” Shiver said, laying the Charger down at Callie’s feet. 

All of them stood staring at each other. Dedf1sh stood, towering over Callie. She barely looked back, instead staring at Marie in her arms. Frye bounced anxiously in place, while Shiver slowly backed away. Big Man idly adjusted his tie, as if it was the most interesting thing at the party. 

“Bye.” Shiver said. And they all super jumped back through the broken window. 

The eels had been struggling to open the roof access door for a while, and had resorted to bashing their heads against it one by one.

“Hey guys. I’m back!” Frye called to her eels.  They all excitedly swam around her when they heard. “Okay, settle down. I’ll open the door, and you guys can get back under the table.”

Frye opened the door and everyone followed. Big Man was still slightly loopy from being shot in the face, so Shiver and Dedf1sh were helping him walk up the stairs.

MC.Princess > guys im so sorry

“Oh Cod. What did she do?” Dedf1sh typed into her CQ-80.

MC.Princess > i forgot that my helicopter guy is on vacation with his husband

MC.Princess > and they revoked my pilots license

DJ_Hyperfresh > You had a pilot's licence?

MC.Princess > yeah but they revoked it when i illegally flew over Inkopolis to perform that song for your birthday

DJ_Hyperfresh >  :’)

DJ_Hyperfresh > Good times.

MC.Princess > oh yeah also callie is PISSED and is coming for you. 

DJ_Hyperfresh > She pulled a roller from under the floorboards

DJ_Hyperfresh > She just super jumped to the roof

anonymous-anemone > also i’m coming too but i’m just dragging maries corpse and ink theory up to the roof

MC.Princess > wait how are you guys getting up there?

dedf1sh > the van can fly

anonymous-anemone > van can fly

anonymous-anemone > same hat

Frye slid her phone back into her pocket.

“Do we think we can take assistant lady?” She asked.

“Yes.” Shiver responded. 

“Are you sure? ” Dedf1sh responded.

“Oh, you meant in a fight, didn’t you?” Shiver stood pondering, still holding Big Man up slightly. “Y’know, I really want to find out now.”

“Shell yeah! That’s the spirit!” 

Big Man shuffled out of Shiver’s hold, and placed a gentle fin on Dedf1sh’s shoulder.

“Ay? (Dedf1sh, we’re about to get into some really tough shit. If you want to back out, now’s your chance. Are you sure you want to do this?)”

She tapped out her reply.

“I poisoned 36.5 people for you. Legally, I’m an accomplice. I can’t turn back. ”

“Ay! (Shell yeah! Partners in crime!)” Big Man pumped his fins in the air. “Ay! (Wait, do we have a plan?)”

“Did we ever? ” Dedf1sh laughed slightly as their CQ-80 spoke.

The door to the roof up ahead of them exploded in a burst of ink. They could hear Riptide Rupture being cued up, as Callie appeared before them. She brandished her roller, and panted heavily.

“FUCKERS!”

Chapter Text

“FUCKERS!” Callie's voice rang through the corridor, even overpowering the crash of the door being kicked down. She reared up, jumped, and flicked the roller vertically. A line of ink cascaded down the hallway, covering the floor. Sinking into the ink, Callie charged down the corridor.  

“PROTECT THE SCULPTURE.” Frye yelled. The eels took it to heart, and spiraled around it the table, forming a barrier of their own ink. Barely even a second later, the eels dove towards the entrance, breezing by Callie, until they stopped on the roof, with the ice sculpture safely encased in their swarm.

Now that just left the problem of Callie herself. Neither Deep Cut, nor Dedf1sh had any weapons. They could only rely on themselves, and the remainder of Big Man’s smoke bombs. And the eels. Technically Master Mega too, but they didn't really have time to see if he would fit in the hallway.

Before any of them had the chance to gather their thoughts, Callie rose from the ink in front of them, readying her roller with a heave.

Frye took the opportunity, and charged forward as Callie's roller was in the air. She slipped right by her like one of her own eels. Callie tried to twist back backwards to see, but by the time she turned her head, Frye had leapt through the doorway, and was landing safely on the roof.

Callie looked back at the rest of the group, and moved to smash her roller into the ground.

Shiver twisted her body to the side of the wall, attempting to avoid the incoming attack. 

Big Man turned to Dedf1sh, enveloping her with his fins as Callie's roller collided with the floor. The waterfall of ink that followed coated Big Man’s entire back, but narrowly missed the wall that Shiver pressed themself into. Callie followed it up by ramming her roller into directly into Shiver's stomach, effectively pinning her against the wall.

Dedf1sh pushed her way out of Big Man’s fins, dripping venom from her fingertips. She reared up, and charged towards Callie, battering her with her shoulder. Callie barely even flinched, but she turned her head, and adjusted her arm, before elbowing Dedf1sh in the gut.

Dedf1sh was forced back away, clutching her stomach as she staggered.  But with the small window Dedf1sh had offered, Shiver had enough time to wiggle out of the roller's grip, and dart after Frye.

Callie whipped around, and slammed her roller into the ground again. Luckily, Dedf1sh was far enough to only be splashed with residual ink, and Big Man wasn't hit at all, being further behind.

Big Man sank into the floor again, swimming past Callie, and coming up behind her. Callie turned back around, but he dropped another smoke bomb and sank back into the floor, coating the whole ground in his bright green venom. The smoke gave Dedf1sh the opportunity to bolt past Callie, joining the others on the roof. 

Sure enough, there everyone was. Ink Theory was on an elevated section of the roof, away from the helicopter pad where they were. Right behind them was Harmony’s van, which was covered end to end in decals. The Chirpy Chips all sat around it, with Harmony on the top of the car, holding Marie’s unconscious squid. 

Callie did another vertical flick with her roller, covering Big Man's venom trail. Then she dropped back down into swim form, and swam through her newly made trail. When she reappeared on the door's threshold, she launched back into combat by rolling towards Frye, who stood directly in front of her. 

Frye attempted to out-maneuver her by jumping to the side, but Callie just spun her roller around, knocking Frye in her knees. They buckled under the force, causing Frye to fall over, and collapse against the concrete roof. 

Shiver took out both her hand fans, and completely soaked both of them in her ink. With a large motion, she flicked one at Callie, sending a glob of blue ink directly into her eyes. She quickly followed it up with her other fan, folding it up, and whacking it against Callile's head. It stunned her for a moment, allowing Shiver to ink the ground, and slide over to Frye.

“Are you ok?” Frye nodded in response. She moved herself to a sitting position, watching as Big Man and Dedf1sh prepared to charge Callie as she wiped the ink from her eyes. 

“Don’t worry, Shiver, I have an idea.” Frye looped two of her fingers, put them in her lips, and whistled as loud as possible, so it could be heard over Riptide Rupture. It pierced the air, echoing throughout the city.

Several of Frye’s eels flew from the protective barrier around the sculpture, and swam to surround Frye. Shiver slide her arm along Fryes back,  helping her ease her way back up.

Once she was standing, Frye jumped onto the backs of one of her eels. They flew upwards and started orbiting the ink-covered battlefield that became of the roof. Big Man had sunk into the ground again, this time bringing in his phantoms to hopefully disorient Callie. Shiver continued using her fans to ink as many areas around the battlefield as she could, given her limited ink.

Callie started heaving, each breath more ragged than the last. She flicked the final bits of blue ink from her face, and practically growled.

“I was fine with the ice sculpture! The heavenly, beloved, ice sculpture.” Callie punctuated the sentence by throwing a splatbomb where Shiver had inked. Within seconds, it completely covered the area. “I was fine with you guys running off on your own!” 

She retreated back to the edge of the roof, leaning against a small fence which kept her from falling off.

“I would've been fine if that's where you guys left it!” Callie clutched her forehead, and groaned, though it quickly elevated into a scream. “All I wanted to do tonight was get drunk so I wouldn't have to listen to producers constantly talking about advertising! But what did ya’ have to do?”

Silence.

“You crusty, sun-bleached lumps of kelp poisoned my cousin!” She tossed another splat bomb at her feet, where it exploded into vibrant glittery pink ink. “I am TIRED of all these BANQUETS. I am TIRED of EVERYONE TREATING MY COUSIN LIKE SHARK-SHIT!”

Shiver's eyes lit up, as they clapped their hands together. “Fun fact! Sharks’ stomachs—”

“Don’t you fucking start with me Shiver!” Callie’s dropped into a snarl, and her steps became heavy, causing splashes of ink as she lumbered towards Deep Cut.

 “But most of all, I am FUCKING TIRED OF THIS!” Callie brought her roller into the air, but instead of slamming it down, she let go of it, letting it fall to the ground with a clang. She shot both of her hands into the air, pointing her fingers up to the sky. “DJ! LET ‘ER RIP!”

A deep voice called from the concrete, loud enough to carry up to the roof.

“Callie, you sure? I’d need to get the whole mech out from valet parking. And that's not even mentioning, y’know, the snow globe.”

Callie quietly screamed, and turned around, looking down the fence, and at the pavement. 

“YOU FUCKIN’ HEARD ME ‘TAVIO! GET YER ASS IN GEAR!” 

She tossed down a splatbomb, and the sound of shattering glass quickly followed.

It took a moment for anything to happen. Frye was still circling around the battlefield on her eels, Shiver and Dedf1sh were attempting to ink what they could, and Big Man was roaming around with his phantoms. 

Eventually, Pearl and Marina had made it through the roof access door, and were immediately taken aback. Harmony helped them up to the upper roof area, so they’d be safe from the violent splashes of ink that were being thrown. A small crowd had started to gather, with several of the bands sitting around Harmony’s van. Frye could even recognize that the Agents were there too, with the Agents Captain through 8 all there. Most of them remained silent, but Agent 3 was cheering loudly for Deep Cut. 

Little Buddy seemed to be cheering as well, supporting the theft of their own likeness. 

Pearl to hopped up onto their car with Marina, and began to MC over the music. Marina stood slightly in front of her, shielding both of them with her Brella, just in case.

“Deep Cut and Dedf1sh! You made it this far!” Pearl shouted. Her voice caused shockwaves throughout the roof tiles. “It’s now or never!”

The crowd cheered louder.

“Now everyone, say it with me.” Pearl took a big gasp of air. “FUCK THEM UP! ”

A mechanical roaring sound boomed from below the roof, rivaling the strength of Pearl’s voice. The sound of clanking metal, bellowing engines, and an overwhelming bass sound crescendoed as the seconds went on. They all saw something large and shiny rise from the pavement. Once it had finished it's ascent, it stilled in the air. Callie seemed to be a little happier, cackling wildly as she watched the fear spread over all of their faces.

“TAKE IT AWAY OCTAVIO!” The Octobot King had risen into the air, reflecting the streetlights off of the shiny metal. There DJ Octavio stood, holding two wasabi stalks, poised to start his set list. Octavio tilted his head slightly as he finally got a good look at the scene.

“We sang the Inkantation with these people, Callie. Surely, you don’t mean for us to attack them.”

“Hey Octavio! How's it hanging?” Frye waved as she circled by Octavio in the air. 

“See what I mean?” Octavio rubbed his forehead with one of his tentacles, grumbling as he did. “Callie, how much have you had to drink tonight?”

“FUCKIN… IRRELEVANT!” 

“I have water bottles in the mech. I keep them around for the wasabi but you can have some—”

“LISTEN TO ME OCTAVIO!” Callie threw up her hands, and almost lost her footing again. “Listen ‘Tavio, one of those lousy fuckers poisoned Marie.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah! They handed me her body and everything!”

DJ Octavio resigned, and started up the set list. The sound was deafening, as horns cut through the cool night air. It completely overpowered Ink Theory, so, rather than continuing to play their set, Karen counted them off again. 

They began to play along to the remix of Bomb Rush Blush, improvising the song to fit a swing rhythm. Soon Octavio and Ink Theory found a happy balance, and Callie began bobbing to the music.

“Now y’all playing my song!” Callie yelled out into the crowd. 

Octavio sighed, completely resigned. “Do you want the shades too? They don't even work anymore—”

“OF COURSE I WANT THE FUCKING SHADES.”

With a sigh, Octavio tossed down a pair of LED sunglasses to Callie. She held out her hand to catch them.

The glasses completely missed her hand and fell on the floor.

Callie groaned, picking them up, and snapping them open, before pushing them up over her eyes.

 She turned back to Deep Cut, and started cackling wildly again. “OH Y’ALL ARE GONNA BE SORRY AFTER THIS!”

DJ Octavio started off by sending out one of his mecha-fists towards the roof. The crowd was riled up, almost drowning out the music. 

Shiver and Dedf1sh, being the only ones on the roof besides Callie, effortlessly dodged the first punch. As DJ Octavio reared up another fist, Callie kicked her roller to the side, and grabbed two splat bombs, tossing one between Dedf1sh and Shiver, and one at Big Man’s phantom.

“Blushing faces covered in pink!” Callie sang out. She retreated to her ink shortly after.

All of them were so busy trying to avoid Callie's bombs that when Octavio slammed down his second fist, he caught all of them off-guard. Shiver was able to tuck into a roll, and get out of the way. Dedf1sh attempted to twist their body away from the incoming fist, sliding her feet backwards as she did. 

But, she didn’t twist fast enough, and got hit with full punch from the mech. She keeled over, hitting the ground. 

Callie popped up behind Dedf1sh, her tentacles glowing with a telltale sparkle. It almost seemed like pink flames seemed to rise from her head.

“Rushing bombs, exploding ink!”

Her sentence was punctuated by the burst of a bomb. Pink ink flew upwards into the air, completely obscuring Callie and Dedf1sh. Big Man and Shiver dove in opposite directions to avoid the blasts.

Dedf1sh wasn't there when the ink had settled.

Instead, a little blue octopus flew out from where she fell. 

No one talked over the music now. Until a low, pained wail sliced through the air.

“AYYYYYYY!!!! (HOLY FREAKING FISHSTICKS! SHE JUST SPLATTED DEDF1SH!!)” 

They watched as their octopus flew off into the distance. 

“Don’t worry, we have a respawn anchor in our van! They’re fine… uh, I think!” Harmony yelled out.

Everyone stopped, watching Harmony jump off the roof of the van, open the door, and climb into the van.

The seconds felt like hours as they waited. 

Harmony emerged from the van, arm in arm with Dedf1sh. She helped them climb onto the roof with her.  

“Yeah. You guys go on without me. I'm just going to take a nap, ” She typed into her CQ-80. Dedf1sh flopped backwards into Harmony's lap and waved at Deep Cut.

Shiver held up a thumbs-up while narrowly dodging a fist from Octavio. Big Man jumped up from the ground, slapping the fist away with his venom-covered fins. It shot back, landing on DJ Octavio with a clamor. 

Octavio attempted to shake off all of the eels, adjusting his grip on his wasabi, and steadying the ship’s balance. 

Frye took this opportunity to instruct her eels to head straight for the Octobot.

"Go get 'em." She said, pointing towards Octavio. They all twisted around, and quickly swam off to swarm the bot. Frye flipped off of them, and landed back on the roof at the last second.

DJ Octavio began fighting off the eels, sending spinning punch after spinning punch after. But each time, they swarmed again with more fervor, biting and ramming into the steel.

“DJ?” Callie frantically yelled out. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t worry about me, Callie. It takes more than a couple of rowdy eels to take down this old hunk of metal. Just focus on singing the song.”

“Hey! You're just about to see how rowdy these eels can get!” Frye violently tore her pungi out of her clutch, and played an aggressive melody. A number of eels rose from the floor and joined in the swarm.

Now, while Octavio was occupied, all that was left was Callie. 

“AGH!” Callie yelled, slamming down her roller in front of her. Her tentacles almost seemed to be glowing at this point. The inky flames seemed to burn higher into the air, contrasting with the night sky. “Now you go after my DJ too? What is your guy's limit?”

“We didn’t mean to, Assistant Lady! We promise!” Frye yelled out, jumping back to dodge another one of Callie’s bombs.

“Ay! (Yeah! Dedf1sh thought she was dangerous!)” 

“Now can we end this before anyone gets hurt?” Shiver said. 

“Do you guys seriously think you're in the place to bargain with me? After what you did to my cousin AND my DJ?”

The glittering flames burst, igniting the air around her in a shimmering pink splendor. Callie twirled around on her heels, and started tossing bombs with every which way, cluttering every inch of the roof.

“Faces blush, a rush of ink!” She sang out. Pulling out three more, she tossed one to each member of Deep Cut.

They tried to dodge away from all the bombs, but Callie threw even more, almost completely surrounding them all.

Shiver and Frye went with the only option they had left. Both of them sunk down in a pool of their own ink, leaping opposite directions into squid rolls. A vortex of ink formed around each of them, hopefully enough to protect themselves.

All the bombs exploded into a violent cacophony of ink and sound. The swirling vortex barely protected either of them, as the pink ink quickly ate away at any semblance of protection it offered.

Big Man tried to sink into his own venom, but was quickly encased in the ink. He instead flopped over with a thud, splashing the ink around him.

Shiver and Frye both fell out of swim form, scraping across the hard ground. 

They were both almost entirely coated in glittery pink.

None of them could slog through the wrong colored ink, so they remained stuck to the roof of the building. The slight burn of enemy ink coated their skin, and Frye and Shiver felt their forms begin to destabilize.

Callie trudged towards all of them, looking down with her roller poised on her shoulder. 

She wiped the stray ink off her face with her free hand, revealing a lopsided smirk with bared fangs. 

“Did any of you really think you could've taken me?” She rasped, clearly worn out from the yelling and singing. “Any last words before I send you back to spawn?”

Callie’s comment sparked a brilliant idea in Frye’s mind. 

“We never could have taken you in a fight…” Frye coughed out. She twisted until she was facing up at Callie. With a shaky movement, she raised her arm up towards her, gesturing vaguely towards her face. “But Callie, has anyone told you that you have some of the prettiest eyes?” 

Frye gave her a big toothy grin. Callie almost dropped her roller. 

“I’m sorry, what?” Callie stepped closer to Frye, almost curious. 

While her back was turned, Shiver smirked, and dragged herself to a standing position. Slowly, she crept up behind Callie, until she was just within reach.

“Not just that, but your dress tonight? It’s incredibly flattering on you. Did anyone tell you that?” Shiver gently combed a tentacle behind Callie’s ear. Callie shuddered against her hand, her grip loosening on her roller.

“Uhh, well, no, I guess not.” Callie was blushing even harder now, almost fully turning red. 

“Ay! (Yeah! Go Callie!)” Big Man yelled from the floor, weakly raising a fin in encouragement.

The distant sound of eels punching metal rang in the background. 

Frye didn't pay any mind, and sat up into a kneel. 

“You look radiant tonight.” 

“We couldn't help but notice how alluring you looked from across the ballroom.” Shiver continued, placing a gentle hand on Callie's shoulder.

“Irresistible, even.”

Big Man slowly flopped over to the ice sculpture while they flirted with Callie.

“Wow… I—uh… well…” She flushed even harder, the tips of her ears beginning to match the pink of her ink.

Frye cut her off by standing up, and pulling Callie by the neck of her dress until her ears met her lips. Callie dropped her roller out of pure shock.

“Call me,” She whispered.

Callie herself began to swoon, struggling to find her footing.

Frye quickly released her collar and jumped back with a wave. 

“See you soon, Assistant Lady!” Frye finished, her demeanor switching back to its usual cheery tone. She turned around and looped her elbow around Shivers, as both of them made their way towards the ice sculpture. 

Callie stumbled without Fryes added support. She tried to lean on her roller, but forgetting that she had dropped it, fell flat on her face. 

Deep Cut snickered, and then looked back upon the ice sculpture, seeing it in all its glory as it reflected the street lamps. It truly was a work of art. They all stood, enamored by its enchanting mystique.

Until a sharp clang of metal sounded behind them, followed by a shriek of several of Frye’s eels. She whipped her back in response, and saw the Octobot King, rearing up another punch.

The hand hit the ground with a heavy thud, ink splattered from behind them. On instinct, all three of them jumped away. The ink didn't hit any of Deep Cut, but flew past them, and landed on the basin of the ice sculpture.

A small chip of the basin popped off. Then it widened into a crack, branching out in a web of crystal glass.

It spread quickly across the entire basin.

Then it shattered.

The water which had been melting off of the sculpture all night came pouring out of the basin like a flood. It wasn’t long before they all felt a watery burning sensation on their toes, and before they realized, Frye and Shiver splatted. 

***

When both of them woke up, they were back at the Anarchy Residence, both of them piled on top of Big Man. Frye was the first to sit up, dazed and confused.

“Hey, Shiv? What the shell happened?”

“I don’t know, but I’ve got a headache like a killer wail.” Shiver curled up even more into Big Man, pulling a blanket on top of her. 

“I had this weird-ass dream that we all went to a party-”

“Ay, (Frye,)” Big Man muttered, clearly tired.

“What is it, Big Man?” 

Big Man brought up one of his fins and pointed towards the corner of their room. 

There stood the ice sculpture, as tall and grand as it was the night before. Rather than the basin, it seemed to be shoved inside of a comically large, industrial-grade cooking pot, with several toy fans attatched to it. They whirred intensly, fanning the base of the sculpture. Back on the pot, there was writing on the metal in thick black marker, but it was too far to see.

Frye rolled off of Big Man. Unfortunately, distance between Big Man and the edge of the bed was practically non-existent, and she fell over the edge with a thud.

Shiver cackled from atop the bed.

“Shut up!” Frye yelled back, sitting up, cradling her head.

“I didn't say anything.”

“That doesn't matter! You were laughing!”

“Ay! (Sweeties, volume! Please! Some of us didn't have the relief of being splatted last night!)”

“Sorry!” They both whispered. Frye stood up with a huff. She realized she was still in her golden sari from the night before. The fabric had imprinted on her arms as she was sleeping.

She dragged herself over to the ice sculpture. It reflected the early morning sunlight, casting rainbows on the wooden floors. 

Frye looked down at the pot, finally being able to read what it had said.

CONGRATULATIONS DEEP CUT!!! WE DIDN'T THINK YOU'D PULL IT OFF!!! Sorry that we couldn't help more, but since the basin broke, here's the next best thing we could scrounge up. It's solid cast iron so it shouldn't break too easily. Just make sure it doesn't rust and you'll be good.

From: The Inkopolis Ballroom Workers UNION!

“Oh my cod! Big Man's union came through at the end!” Frye bounced with excitement and pumped her fist in the air.

“Easy there, re-fryed beans. We don't want you to pull something.”

“Ay! (You're really trying with these names.)”

“Do you want me to stop, Two-ray radio?”

“Ay? (How the shell do you come up with this?)”

Frye rolled her eyes and looked back to the ice sculpture. Beside it there were two small pieces of paper. One of which was a crumpled up napkin, ink stains bleeding through the flimsy material. The other was a pristine envelope, with folds far too crisp to be from any member of Deep Cut. 

Shiver pulled herself up off of Big Man, huddling herself in a blanket, and walking towards the ice sculpture, admiring it in its full beauty. 

Frye took the wadded up napkin, and carefully unfolded it, finding that it was actually three separate napkins, each with writing on them. The napkins were even numbered.

“Hey Shiver, come look at this,” Frye called over.

Hey there Deep Cut, how’s it hanging? That stunt last night was pretty fuckin fresh.

Just letting you know that ‘Rina and I had the time of our lives last night helping you. Thanks for keeping our little stunt under wraps as well.

Also we didn’t mean to uproot the stage from you last night with the proposal. Marina and I have actually been engaged for 6 months. I just panicked. Anyway, I digress.

More importantly, that was the most fun I’ve seen dedf1sh have since she got out of the metro. I know it may not look like it from the outside but I can guarantee she had the time of her life. (Now she just needs to finish the trial for assault and battery on 36.5 people. Also vandalism. I was wondering what that octopus in the bathroom was. Sidenote: are any of you interested in bail bonds? I know a guy.)

Don’t get cooked, Stay Off the Hook!

Pearl Houzuki.

“I honestly thought her handwriting would be worse.” Shiver said

“She is rich.”

“Fair point.”

Frye placed the napkins down on the desk, and opened the envelope, seeing words completely filling the small piece of paper.

Dear Deep Cut,

Holy Shell, that was the most fun producer banquet I’ve ever had. Thank you so much for livening it up (even if it did end up in both me and Marie getting black out drunk, her getting knocked out, and me challenging you all to the death. no hard feelings! ^.^) 

Here’s the ice sculpture you all worked incredibly hard to procure last night. Honestly you guys deserve it more than anyone else. Other people would have wasted it and let it melt, but I know you guys will appreciate it for all it’s worth.

In all seriousness, the producers hate you now and you should PROBABLY never come back to another banquet if you want to stay out of prison. We're trying our damndest to get dedf1sh out of a life sentence right now.

They warned me and Marie too. And now we have to stop building ink tanks into our dresses. We also aren't allowed to stash weapons in venues anymore. :/

(Marie would probably hate it, but I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to you guys crashing another. Just maybe, lighten your list of assault victims next time)

Anyways, hope you enjoy the fruits of your labor. 

Staaayyy Fresh!

Callie ♥

“Wait a second, Big Man, how did you get the ice sculpture off the roof?” Shiver asked.

Big Man groaned from their bed. He flopped over onto the floor.

He just laid there for a moment, groaning muffled ‘Ays’ into the floor. Eventually, though, he got up, and dragged himself beside Frye and Shiver.

“Ay! (Master Mega owed me a favor. I called him up and strapped the sculpture to him. Then he jumped off the roof and swam home.)”

“Wait, how did we get home then?” Frye asked. 

“Ay! (Well you two respawned in the first aid center, but you were both conked out. So I plopped you in the car…I drove halfway, and then we broke down. Pearl and Marina offered us a limo ride after that. Said they were staying in the Splatlands for a while.)”

“Oh, sick!” Frye said. Turning around, she went to stabilize Big Man, only to see a small sticky note attached to his forehead.

Shiver pulled it off, holding it out so all of them could see. 

“Ay! (Oh. That's where it was.)” He sighed.  “Ay! (I think it's from our producers. I could be wrong though.)

Listen here Deep Cut. If we can manage, do you think you'd be able to do a Collab with Off the Hook, Ink Theory, DJ Octavio, dedf1sh, and the Squid Sisters? We think it'd be a perfect union. (After the trial, of course).