Archive of Our Own

“C’mon, Jess, wake up,” said Luke, stomping upstairs from the diner. “I said you could sleep in after working the dinner shift, I didn’t say you could be late for -” He broke off as he pushed through the apartment door. Jess wasn’t in his bed. 

“Jess?” Luke looked around. The bathroom door was open, so he couldn’t be in there. Luke pushed open the curtain with a sharp rasp of rings against the rod. The sunlight flooded the room, but did not reveal Jess anywhere. Then Luke realized the bathroom light was on.

“Jess?” Jess was curled up on the bathroom floor. “You OK?” He then realized this was an idiotic question as the acrid smell of vomit stung his nostrils.

“Yeah, I just love the bathroom floor,” answered Jess, but hoarsely; he seemed to be losing energy for his usual snark.

Luke crouched down next to him, and flushed the toilet, noticing as he did so that flecks of vomit were splattered on the floor next to it. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Stomach hurts,” grimaced Jess. He sounded exhausted; Luke had never heard Jess’ voice so faint before. He looked pale, and Luke noticed he had sweat through his t-shirt. He reached out a hand for Jess’ forehead. Jess swatted his hand away. 

“What’re you doing?”

“Stop batting my hand away, I just want to see if you have a fever. Jeez.”

He tried again, and this time Jess put up no resistance. He rested his hand on Jess’ forehead for a second; he hardly had enough experience to be able to say how warm was too warm, but Jess’ damp forehead was definitely suspiciously hot.

“You’re a little warm, kid,” he said. “You need some rest. I’ll call the sch-” he broke off as Jess suddenly reached out for the edge of the toilet and pulled himself over it. He retched and heaved, but nothing came up. After a moment, he let go of the toilet and sank back down onto the floor, shaking. Luke reached out a hand for his shoulder, then pulled back awkwardly, a little unsure. 

“Just leave me alone,” groaned Jess from the floor.

“Not lying on the bathroom floor I won’t,” responded Luke. “You need some rest. In your bed . C’mon.” He reached out a hand to help Jess up. To his surprise, Jess took it. Luke began to pull him to his feet when Jess abruptly let go and collapsed back on to the floor, his eyes closed and an arm crooked across his stomach.

“Hurts when I straighten up,” whispered Jess as he slid back down to his original position. “I’ll just stay here.” Luke looked at him for a moment; Jess appeared to be shivering. 

“OK, kid,” he said, a smile playing around his lips despite his concern. “You don’t have to stand up, but you need to get to bed, you look cold. Want me to carry you?” His tone was half-teasing.

“Fuck no,” snarled Jess from the floor, but made no effort to get up. Luke decided not to push it; Jess would probably never forgive him for the indignity of having been carried to his bed. He strode over to Jess’ bed instead and pulled the crumpled blanket off it, then returned to the bathroom and threw it over Jess. Then he filled a glass with water and set it on the floor within easy reach. 

“You need fluids,” he said, though Jess still had his eyes closed and Luke had no idea if he was listening. “Little sips, whenever you’re up to it.”
“You don’t have to take care of me,” grunted Jess from the floor, but he reached for the glass and took a clumsy sip anyway. 

“Pretty sure I do, I’m told it’s a legal requirement for guardians of minors,” answered Luke absently, now looking for cleaning supplies.

Luke found the disinfectant and cleaned the floor, throwing the paper towels into the toilet, occasionally glancing back at Jess. He seemed to have fallen asleep, but though his breathing had evened out, he was still shivering, and his face looked clammy. 

“Caesar, watch the diner for me, would you?”

Caesar yelled something out of the kitchen, but the breakfast rush had subsided and only Kirk remained at the counter with two donuts, taking alternate bites out of each one. Luke pushed out of the diner and across the square to the drugstore. He returned a moment later with a digital thermometer and a ginger ale in a bag, and hurried back upstairs. In truth, he had no idea how worried he should be, but he didn’t like the way Jess had collapsed back on the floor and refused to move. That couldn’t be normal, especially not for Jess. 

Jess was still on the floor in the bathroom when he opened the door. The water level in the glass had gone down slightly, though, which made Luke feel a little better. He pulled the thermometer out of the box and crouched down. He shook Jess’ shoulder lightly.

“Ow,” groaned Jess, his eyes closing tighter. Luke felt his forehead crease; Jess appeared to be in considerable pain.

“Open up, would you?”

“What’re you going to do to me now?” sighed Jess, his eyes still closed.

“Calm down, I just want to take your temperature,” Luke grunted. 

“Seriously?” Jess protested, but his voice was still faint.

“Just open your mouth.”

Jess reluctantly opened his mouth and allowed Luke to gingerly push the thermometer in and glance at his watch. Jess opened one eye and glared at him.

“Can you take this thing back out now?” he grumbled around the thermometer. 

“No, it takes a full minute,” said Luke, still staring at his watch. “Never had your temperature taken before?”

Jess slowly shook his head, still looking him in the eye, and Luke mentally kicked himself for asking, looking away awkwardly. He highly doubted Liz had ever owned a thermometer, but he still didn’t like to think about Jess suffering for her shortcomings. 

He glanced down at his watch to pull himself back to the present. 

“Time’s up,” he said, pulling the thermometer out of Jess’ mouth. “Jeez, it’s 104, that can’t be safe…” He trailed off as he fumbled for the pamphlet that had been folded inside the thermometer box. 

“Well, guess I’m sick,” said Jess, but the attempt at sarcasm was feeble.

Luke did not answer. He was scanning the pamphlet, which seemed to be written in every language except English. Finally, he found the chart he was looking for. 

Adults sixteen and up:

97-99F - normal

99-102F - low-grade fever, seek medical attention if it persists longer than 72 hours

103-106 - seek medical attention immediately

Luke looked alternately at the chart, then at the thermometer, which was now blinking a light at him, then back at Jess’ face. He looked, if possible, paler than before, and his eyes were screwed tightly closed. Something twisted in Luke’s gut, and he got up from the floor, shutting the door behind him, then grabbed feverishly at the phone. Dr. Jimenez’s number was still on the fridge from an appointment three years ago; how could he never have taken Jess to the doctor? 

He waited through four rings, nervously tapping his foot. Eventually, to his great relief, the receptionist put him through to Dr. Jimenez. She was the only doctor in town not attached to the hospital on the outskirts, and he had panicked that she wouldn’t be available. 

“Yes, Mr. Danes? We haven’t seen you in a while.”
“It’s Jess, my nephew, he’s sick -”

“Is he a patient of ours?”
“Well, no, but he’s been covered under my insurance since I took him in -”

“Are you his guardian?”

“Yes, I’m his guardian. I’m pretty worried, could you -”

“Just hold on one moment, Mr. Danes,” said Dr. Jimenez, and finally Luke’s worry got the best of him.

“No, you hold on, Dr. Jimenez. My seventeen-year-old nephew has been lying on the bathroom floor all morning and believe me, he is not a kid who lies around much. He has a fever of 104 and the directions on the thermometer said to seek medical attention for anything above 103, so I’m seeking it,” he ground out. “Can you help me out? Should I bring him to your office?”

“How long has he had the fever?” Dr. Jimenez’s voice was suddenly brisk, businesslike.

“He was fine last night, and he seemed to be sleeping when I got up, so...I guess just this morning.”

“Has he suffered from nausea? Vomiting? Stomach cramps?”

“He threw up at least once, then he had the dry heaves. Definitely stomach cramps, he didn’t want to get off the floor, he said it hurt when he tried to straighten up -”

“Mr. Danes.” Dr. Jimenez cut him off abruptly, her tone very serious. “I suspect your nephew has appendicitis, and if his temperature is that high, it may mean that his appendix might burst. You need to get him to the hospital, immediately. If his appendix ruptures, the complications can be life-threatening. Do you have a car, or should I call you an ambulance?”

“No, I have a car,” said Luke, feeling suddenly dizzy. “Is he going to be OK?”

“Mr. Danes, if you can get him to the hospital as quickly as possible, they will be able to help him. I will call the hospital and tell them to expect you. Has he had anything to eat or drink today?”

“No. Maybe a couple sips of water.”

“He should be fine for surgery, then. You should leave as soon as possible, Mr. Danes.”

“OK,” Luke answered, but his own voice sounded very far away. He heard the click at the end of the line, and set the phone down slowly, slightly dazed. Then he spun around on the spot and almost tripped in his haste to get back to the bathroom.

“Jess! Jess, listen to me, I know you feel like shit right now, but you have to get up.” He shook Jess’ shoulder, gently but insistently. 

“Stop,” muttered Jess, pulling the blanket more tightly over his hunched frame on the floor.

“Jess, I’m sorry, but Dr. Jimenez thinks you might have appendicitis. We need to get you to the hospital, now. Can you get down the stairs?”

“I don’t like hospitals,” whispered Jess. Luke looked at his pale, clammy face and the knot in his gut seemed to tighten further. He swallowed.

“Me neither, kid,” he said, as gently as he could, but his sense of urgency was crushing him. “But it’ll only get worse if you stay here. Your appendix could burst. Do you think you can get downstairs?”

“Not the front stairs,” said Jess weakly. “I don’t need the whole town to see this.”

“We can’t go out the back stairs, Taylor has those blocked during construction. I’ll close the diner, I’ll be right back.”

Luke ran down the stairs, grabbed Caesar’s shoulder and said quietly, “I need to take Jess to the hospital, can you close up here? I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Is he OK?” Caesar looked worried. 

“I don’t know, just close up, I’ll pay you for the rest of the day,” said Luke. Caesar looked at his expression, which Luke suspected was more crazed than usual, blanched, and nodded. 

“Thanks, Caesar,” Luke managed as he turned to go back upstairs. 

Jess had maneuvered himself into a sitting position on the bathroom floor, leaning against the wall, the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. 

“I closed the diner. Everyone’s gone. You holding up?”

Jess nodded unconvincingly. 

“Good, let’s go,” said Luke, reaching out a hand to help Jess up. Jess took it, but once again got halfway and crumpled back to the floor, his eyes screwed shut. 

“I’m real sorry about this, kid,” said Luke softly, “but if you can’t stand up, the only options are for me to carry you out or call an ambulance.”

“Don’t call an ambulance,” muttered Jess, without opening his eyes. “Everyone’s gone?”

Luke stepped over to the window. The truck was immediately out front, and the street appeared to be deserted except for Caesar locking the door and striding away. 

“Yeah, they’re gone,” he said. 

“OK, just - keep it between us,” said Jess reluctantly. Luke chuckled hollowly. 

“You really think I want to relive this any more than you do?”

He stepped forward awkwardly, and snaked an arm around Jess’ shoulders and another under his knees, lifting his skinny frame easily. He tried not to think of how unnaturally warm Jess’ body felt as he grabbed the keys clumsily with one finger and pushed through the door and down the stairs. Jess usually didn’t much like being touched; Luke reflected grimly that if Jess was agreeing to this much physical contact, he had to really need help. This thought brought him no comfort whatsoever. 

He struggled for a moment to get the door open, then managed to lower Jess clumsily into the passenger seat of the truck, where he sat, immobile, hunched up. Luke hesitated a moment, then fastened the seatbelt around the outside of the blanket, and dashed around to the other side of the truck. 

He drove much faster than he usually did, than he could ever remember doing since his dad was in the hospital. He kept glancing anxiously over at Jess, who still had his eyes closed. He winced every time they hit a bump, and Luke had to force himself to swallow his fear, to focus on the road. 

Eventually they pulled into the emergency room parking lot, and this time Jess did not protest at all when Luke lifted him bodily from the passenger seat and strode towards the entrance. The ER waiting room was packed, and Luke took a moment to find a free seat to set Jess down. He strode up to the reception desk. “Excuse me, I’m Luke Danes, I just brought my nephew in - Dr. Jimenez said she was going to call -”

“Yes, we’re expecting you, Mr. Danes. Can you fill this out, please? I understand your nephew is on your insurance, but we don’t have any of his information. You can wait with him, we’ll call him through very soon.”

Luke took the extended clipboard with a muttered word of thanks and dropped into the seat next to Jess. He peered at his sweaty face. 

“Just hang in there a minute, kid, it’ll be OK,” he said in what he hoped was a reassuring tone of voice. “They have the good drugs here. I just have to fill this out.”

Name: Jess Mariano

Date of birth: 12/16/1985

If patient is under 18, name of accompanying parent or guardian : Luke Danes

Insurance plan: Blue Cross of Connecticut

Plan number: 

Luke fished in his wallet for his insurance card and started copying out the number. 

“You put me on your insurance?” 

Luke jumped; Jess had one eye open and was looking at the card. 

“Yeah, of course,” he said, surprised. “Why not?”

“Thought the whole point of going to the ER was so you could get care without insurance,” said Jess hoarsely. 

“No, the point of the ER is that it’s for emergencies . And speaking of which -” Luke stopped a passing nurse. 

“Hey, Nurse…” he looked for the nametag. “Nurse Schinsky. I’m Luke Danes, Dr. Jimenez called ahead for me, she thinks my nephew has appendicitis, so can you tell me just when you’re going to actually treat him?” He could hear the volume of his own voice escalate as he spoke, and he couldn’t blame the nurse for looking a bit taken aback. He thrust the clipboard into the nurse’s hands. 

“Uh, yes, thanks Mr. Danes…” The nurse took the clipboard, but barely glanced at it before turning back to his own clipboard. “What is your nephew’s name?”

“It might not be on your list, he has a different last name, he’s Jess Mariano,” said Luke impatiently. 

“Ah, I see. Let me just go and fix this,” nodded the nurse, turning away and striding up to the reception desk.

“Hey! We’ve been waiting here, Dr. Jimenez thinks his appendix might burst - hey!” Luke made to get up from his seat, but halfway up he realized that, voluntarily or not, Jess had been leaning against him, still hunched up. He sat back down hastily, glaring daggers at the hospital staff at the desk. Jess’ breathing sounded shallower, or maybe it was just the noisy room, but Luke’s breath still caught in his throat at Jess’ face, now screwed up in pain. What if his appendix burst while they were waiting in this godforsaken mess? He remembered waiting in another waiting room in the same hospital when his dad was sick, and shuddered. 

He reached out and ruffled Jess’ hair without thinking, then froze, his hand hovering above his head, when he realized what he was doing. He and Jess didn’t touch like this. Hell, Jess had to be in serious pain before he would even let Luke help him out of the house. But he had not flinched at his touch the way he normally might. In fact, Jess was fully leaning his weight on him now, in a way he never had before, not even as a kid. Luke tentatively lowered his hand back onto Jess’ head, ruffling his hair again in what he hoped was a comforting sort of way. Jess’ hair was sweaty and sticky, and a little gel residue clung to his fingers. Luke frankly had no idea what to do with his hand, now - did he leave it there? Did he continue mussing Jess’ hair? 

He was relieved of his confusion by another interruption. 

“Mr. Danes? This is your nephew, uh -” a new nurse had appeared with a different clipboard “- Jess Mariano?”

“Yes, finally, can we get some help here?” 

“Of course, we’re sorry to have kept you waiting.”

Luke watched as the nurse helped Jess into a wheelchair much more deftly than he had maneuvered him into the truck, and began pushing him towards the hallway. 

“Can I go with him?”

“You’re his guardian?”

“Yeah, that’s me,” he said, his chest tightening as he realized Liz had no idea what was happening. He followed the nurse with the wheelchair along a hallway filled with people in scrubs, to what Luke supposed must be the emergency room itself, lined with beds and people arriving on gurneys. Another nurse helped the first get Jess onto a bed, and a doctor appeared so abruptly Luke could have sworn she had erupted out of the floor.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Grey. Jess?” she said, kindly, looking at him. “I need to examine you, can you lie down for me, please?”

Jess was curled up near the head of the bed, looking extremely uncomfortable. He shook his head. 

“Dr. Jimenez told me -” she looked at the chart “- she suspects appendicitis. Jess, I need to confirm that’s the case, and if it is, we can send you in for surgery. But I can’t help you unless you let me look at you.”

“He doesn’t like hospitals,” cut in Luke, starting to feel as uncomfortable as Jess looked. “Truth be told, neither do I. Any chance you could, I don’t know, give him something? To help him relax?”

“You’re his father?”

“I’m his uncle. I’m his guardian. Please, he hasn’t been able to straighten up all day.”

“Fine, Mr. Mariano -”
“It’s Danes. Luke Danes.”

“OK, Mr. Danes. I suspect Dr. Jimenez is right, so we should be able to use the pre-surgery sedatives.” She scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to one of the nurses, who promptly disappeared. 

“Jess, I need to take your temperature,” she said calmly, extending a thermometer.

“Again? He already did that,” Jess grunted faintly. 

“I know, but we need to see if that’s changed. Open up, please.”

Jess complied; once the thermometer was in his mouth, the doctor clipped something to his finger. The nurse reappeared with a package of syringes, took Jess’ arm, wiped it with disinfectant, and began moving towards him with the needle so quickly that Jess hardly seemed to notice what was happening. Then he abruptly yanked his arm out of her grip. 

“What’re you doing? Stop!” Jess pulled down his sleeve and glared at the nurse. Luke grabbed him by the shoulder. 

“Kid, I get it, this sucks, but you have to let them help you,” he said quietly, trying to keep his voice calm. “I hate needles too, but if you don’t look at it, it’s better.” Jess looked him in the eye, and Luke saw his own fear reflected in Jess’ face. He swallowed, and Jess nodded, extending his arm to the nurse again. He closed his eyes, and the nurse approached with the needle again just as the doctor asked to remove the thermometer from Jess’ mouth. Luke suspected she had timed this deliberately; the distraction worked as the nurse emptied the syringe into Jess’ arm and whisked it out of sight as quickly as possible. 

“105,” said Dr. Grey, peering at the thermometer.

“Jeez,” breathed Luke, his chest tightening; 104 had been scary enough. 

“Yes, Mr. Danes, I’m worried about that too. Jess, can you lie down for me now?”

To Luke’s surprise, Jess was looking considerably more relaxed than he had even a few minutes ago. The sedative must have been a very fast-acting one; the nurse helped Jess stretch out on the bed without a lot of resistance. The doctor pulled up Jess’ shirt and started tapping on his stomach with the ends of her fingers. Luke tried to read her expression, but they must have had poker-face classes in medical school for all he could discern. He looked back at Jess’ face instead, and Jess looked calmer, his face smoothed out for the first time that day. The tight feeling in Luke’s chest loosened somewhat, and he again reached out to ruffle Jess’ hair, figuring he could get away with it seeing as Jess was drugged and unlikely to remember it. 

The doctor straightened up and removed her stethoscope from her ears. Luke looked at her expectantly. 

“So?”

“Mr. Danes, I believe Dr. Jimenez was correct. Your nephew has appendicitis. We need to send him for a CT scan to confirm, then get him into surgery as quickly as possible. I’m sorry, but you can’t stay with him now. Is there anyone else you need to call?”

“I - yes - where?” Luke said shakily. 

“Down the hall.” She gestured at a payphone. She turned to the nurse. “Send him for a stat abdominal CT, then prep him for an emergency appy. Whoever’s on call for General, page them now . I’m booking OR 2.” She rapped out the orders crisply, almost aggressively, and the nurses around her sprang into action, moving Jess quickly onto a gurney and pushing him out of the room as Luke gazed after him, feeling frozen and uncertain.

“Mr. Danes,” said the doctor, more kindly, and Luke felt his mind seem to snap back to the present. “Your nephew is in excellent hands. I believe his appendix is still intact - the CT will confirm it, and we should be able to avoid serious complications. If all goes well, you should be able to see him in a couple of hours. We can keep you updated.”

Luke nodded once, and looked down at the floor, shuffling a bit.

“Didn’t you say you had someone else to call?” she asked gently, her head tilted to the side. 

“Uh, yes, yes I did,” muttered Luke, stuffing his hands in his pocket and stomping towards the payphone. 

He punched Liz’s number into the phone and waited. And waited, through at least thirty rings. She had had an answering machine last time he had seen her, but that had been two boyfriends ago, that he knew of. He hung up, sighed, and tried again. This time he counted to forty rings before he slammed the phone back onto the hook. 

He had no idea what to do with himself now. The hospital smell of disinfectant was all too familiar; he had been to a hospital only once since his dad had been sick and most of all, he had hated the way the hospital smelled. Dr. Grey had seemed confident Jess would be fine, and that was something, but Luke felt strangely helpless. After spending half the day trying to help him, he had been whisked away almost without warning and his mother didn’t even know. 

He folded his arms and leaned against the wall, feeling stupid and useless and scared. It felt strange to think about Jess on the bathroom floor, letting Luke take care of him. He had barely conceded to let Luke buy him a bed , for crying out loud. 

Luke tilted his head back against the wall. He had no idea what people were supposed to do, waiting for news in a hospital - his dad had never had surgery, and ultimately had refused to wait to die in the hospital. Dr. Grey had said it would be a couple of hours, but there didn’t seem to be much point in leaving. They had said there would be updates, whatever that meant, and in any case it wasn’t as if he wanted to be anywhere else.

He sighed. It felt ridiculous to admit to himself that he wanted help waiting, but he did, and if there was a moment to shelve his pride, this was it. He went back to the phone and punched in the number for the Independence Inn. 

“Hello?”

“Hi, Lorelai, it’s Luke.”

“Uh, no, it isn’t, and I know it isn’t, because I have had the diner’s number saved in the Inn’s caller ID since I started at the desk, and I know Luke Danes would never, ever buy a cellphone.”

“I didn’t buy a cellphone. I’m at the hospital.”

“Oh my God, Luke, are you OK? What happened?”

“I’m fine, it’s Jess-”

“What did he do?” 

“He didn’t do anything, he has appendicitis. They just took him in for surgery.”

“Good Lord, is he going to be OK?”

“The doctor was worried about his appendix bursting. I don’t know, though, they just took him and they said they’d give me updates but there’s nothing yet, and I don’t know how long this is supposed to take, or what’s happening right now, or what I’m supposed to do - how do they give you these “updates” in hospital anyway? Do you have to check in with them, or do they come to you, or -”

Lorelai cut him off. “You’re at Sacred Heart on the highway out of town?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. Stay put.”

Luke heard the click on the other end of the line and set down the phone slowly. He had not really expected Lorelai to come over. He had expected some attempt at comfort studded with 80s pop references, maybe some details on how she had handled her father’s heart attack or the time Rory had broken her arm eight years ago. Lorelai didn’t even like Jess. 

He wandered away from the phone, went to the bathroom for something to do, and asked an orderly where people were supposed to wait for someone to come out of surgery. He was just starting to pace the waiting room counterclockwise for a change from clockwise pacing when Lorelai appeared with two enormous thermoses. 

“Hi,” she said a little breathlessly, holding one out to him. 

“I don’t drink -”

“Coffee, I know, because you’re a monk. It’s chamomile tea, courtesy of Sookie.”

She unscrewed the top of her thermos and took a long sip. He followed suit, mostly for something to do with his hands. 

“How are you holding up?” She was looking at him keenly.

“I’m -” he wanted to say “fine” but couldn’t. “I don’t know, Lorelai.” He sighed. “How are you supposed to do this?”
“Wait in the hospital? Yeah, it’s the worst . Completely impossible. The only way to make it even slightly easier is to have company. Lots of it.”

“Well, you’re lots of company, that’s for sure,” Luke muttered, taking another sip of tea. 

“I take that as a compliment,” Lorelai said, smiling slightly. “So, any news?”

She took him by the elbow and steered him towards the seats in the waiting room. He shook his head. 

“Not since they took him for surgery.”

“He was fine yesterday, wasn’t he? I thought I saw him around.”

“Totally fine. Well, I guess he didn’t eat dinner,” he said, trying to think; his offer to make Jess a sandwich had been rebuffed, and he couldn’t remember Jess eating in the diner. “Then this morning I find him on the bathroom floor in the fetal position.”

“Oh, that’s bad. Sure he didn’t just turn over a liquor store last night?”

“Well, you don’t have a fever of 104 with a hangover.”

“Jeez, that’s high.” 

“I know. It was 105 when the doctor checked him again here. Is that even safe? The thermometer I bought didn’t even go above 106.”

“Well, I had appendicitis when I was twelve,” said Lorelai reflectively. “I think I hit 103, which is when my mother finally believed I wasn’t faking to get out of school.”

“You did?”

“I did. And I’m fine. See? Jess is going to be OK. Kids bounce back. Want to see the scar?” 

“No, that’s alright,” Luke waved a hand awkwardly. “I don’t need to think about that, thanks very much.”

“Oh, my God!” Lorelai giggled. “You’re squeamish!”

“I’m not squeamish, I just hate hospitals. Apparently, so does Jess.”

“Well, that’s fair. No one likes hospitals when they’re sick and in pain.”

“Last time I was in one was when my dad was sick.”

“Oh,” said Lorelai softly. “Yeah, I get that.”

“You just feel so useless, you know?”

“Oh, I know,” she said darkly. “That time Rory fell off the pony at the birthday party? That was the worst phone call of my life, bar none. Then they had to pull her arm to get the bone in the right position. I cried more than she did.”

“Jess was in so much pain a nurse had to uncurl him so the doctor could check him out.”

“Ah, I remember that,” said Lorelai reminiscently. “I was doubled over all day. They had to carry me out of the house.”

Luke felt the corners of his mouth twitch, and Lorelai seized on it. 

“You didn’t ?” she asked gleefully.

“Don’t tell him you guessed, I promised I’d keep it between us,” muttered Luke uncomfortably. “He’s not big on being touched, he even batted my hand away when I tried to see if he had a fever.”

“Fine,” chuckled Lorelai. “I’ll spare his tough-guy sensibilities.” She took another gulp of coffee.

“Thanks,” said Luke. He blew out his cheeks. “I am not doing well at this parenting thing, am I?”

“What? This? I mean, I’m not Jess’ biggest fan or anything, but I think you’re doing just fine.”

“Oh, please. I have no idea how to handle a sick kid. Especially not a sick Jess .” 

“Sure, you got thrown in at the deep end the first time, no flu or chickenpox to ease you in before the hospital and the surgery and whatnot,” began Lorelai, “but give yourself some credit. You took his temperature. You carried him out of your house and took him to the hospital.”

“I put him on my insurance,” added Luke; her words were not only comforting, but they made sense.

“Yes! Exactly! You did everything right! Cut yourself some slack, Luke. You’re doing your best. No one knows how to handle a sick kid. Did you not just hear me say I cried more than Rory did when she broke her arm? ”

“Does it get any easier?”

“Oh, absolutely not. Rory had the flu last year and I bought half the drugstore.”

“Oh, that’s right, you practically demanded that I make chicken soup even though it’s not on the menu.”

“Hey, you had it as a special once. I know you know how to make it.”

“Maybe you could learn to make it, ever think of that?”

“Why are you encouraging a regular customer to cook for herself?”

Luke grinned, looking down at his knees.

“Lorelai - thanks,” he said, a little awkwardly. “You really didn’t have to come.”

“Yeah, well, you sounded a little freaked on the phone.”

“Oh, did I tell you? I couldn’t even get hold of Liz. Her latest bad decision must have stolen her answering machine, the phone just kept ringing and ringing.”

“Oh, that’s terrible,” sighed Lorelai. “His mom doesn’t even know?”

“Nope,” said Luke. “I guess I’ll get hold of her eventually, but I ran out of quarters.”

“Want to try again?” Lorelai held up a small purple drawstring bag.

“What’s that?”

“My change purse. If I find coins, they go here. You’d be amazed what people leave in rooms at the inn.”

He took the purse with a muttered word of thanks and strode over to the phone.

“Hey, Liz, it’s Luke.”

“Oh, hi, big brother! What’s up?”

“Hey, listen, Liz, I just thought you ought to know, Jess is sick. He has appendicitis.”

“Oh, don’t be silly, he’s a tough kid, he never gets sick.” 

Luke felt himself losing patience. “Liz, I mean it. I took him to the hospital, they’re taking out his appendix now.”

“Oh, no, well, is he going to be OK?”

“Probably, I think. Apparently it’s a pretty simple operation.”

“Oh good. Well, what’s it going to cost?”

“Don’t worry about that, Liz, I put him on my insurance.”

“Oh, you’re a lifesaver, Luke, you know that?”

“You’re welcome. So, are you going to come out and see him?”

“Oh, I really can’t make it right now, I’m so busy. You understand, don’t you? It’s just a long way is all.” 

Luke sighed; he wasn’t surprised, and that fact disappointed him.

“Yeah, yeah, Liz, I get it. Oh, and did something happen to your answering machine? It never picked up when I called earlier.”

“Oh, that’s been missing since Billy left. But don’t worry, Vinny’s a much better guy.”

“Good, I’m glad,” said Luke through his teeth. 

“OK, well, thanks for calling, Luke, I gotta go.”

“Bye,” said Luke shortly and hung up. 

“Got her?”

“Yeah,” said Luke heavily, pulling off his baseball cap and running a hand through his hair. “She’s not coming. But she’s been informed, so I guess I’m off the hook.”

“Aw, really? Even though her kid’s in the hospital?”

“She didn’t believe me at first, she said he never gets sick. I’m starting to wonder if he saw a doctor at all growing up.”

“Oh, it’s probably not that bad,” said Lorelai in a soothing sort of voice. Luke raised an eyebrow at her, and she shot him a questioning look.

“It’s just - I took Jess’ temperature, because he looked really sick, and he didn’t know you have to hold the thermometer in your mouth for one minute. I was pretty flip about it and said something like “ever had your temperature taken?” and he said no. And I don’t think he was kidding.”

“Wow, that’s insane,” said Lorelai. “I mean, I was sent home from the hospital with Rory with a handful of thermometers. I was so panicked I took her temperature every time she coughed or sniffled.”

“Yeah, well, Liz is a little...flaky. I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t notice Jess getting sick as a kid,” he answered morosely.

“God, I can’t even imagine that.” Lorelai sipped at her coffee, her expression somber. “It’s good he has you.”

Luke felt his face grow warm.

“Well, at least I recognize laying on the bathroom floor as a bad sign,” he said. 

“That’s something,” agreed Lorelai. “Pretty basic, but it’s something. You’re doing OK.”

“God, I hope so,” muttered Luke, running a hand over his face. “He’s only been here a few months, and I’d really like to do better than Liz, at least.”

“Calm down,” said Lorelai, turning to look him in the eye. “I know you don’t like it, but you can’t help him right now, so it’s a shitty time to panic about your track record as a guardian. Trust me.” She spoke firmly, with enough certainty that Luke believed her without question. He nodded, once. 

“Mr. Danes?” A nurse in green surgical scrubs appeared in the waiting room. 

“That’s me,” said Luke, standing up a little awkwardly. 

“You’re Jess Mariano’s…” she consulted her clipboard “...uncle? Guardian?”

“ Yes ,” said Luke, looking her firmly in the eye.

“Well, Mr. Danes,” she said, “the CT scan confirmed Dr. Grey’s diagnosis, but he’ll be in surgery a little longer. His appendix ruptured on the table, and the surgeons are doing everything they can to avoid any complications. He’ll need a course of antibiotics to avoid infection after surgery.” Luke nodded dumbly. The knot in his gut, which had loosened somewhat over the last hour, had begun twisting again when the nurse appeared. Now it seemed to be migrating, tying up his chest, his throat. 

“Mr. Danes, we’ll have another update for you in about half an hour.” Luke swallowed, hard, and nodded. The nurse patted him on the arm, which he supposed was meant to be reassuring, and turned to leave. 

Luke sat down heavily next to Lorelai again. 

“He’ll be OK,” he heard her say softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. He nodded, again, as if he agreed with her certainty. 

“Is there anything I can help with?”

Luke’s brain seemed to grind back into action from its frozen state.

“Actually, yes, there is,” he said gruffly, as it occurred to him that he might not be leaving the hospital tonight. “Could you go to the diner for me and call Caesar? There’s a key on the ledge above the door. Caesar’s number is posted on the wall by the phone. Tell him I need him there this evening to receive the dry goods delivery, but that the diner will still be closed tomorrow.”

Lorelai was scribbling on a notepad produced from somewhere inside her enormous handbag. “What time does he need to be there?” 

“The delivery comes at six. Tell him I’ll pay him for a half day tomorrow, too. Oh, and when you go in to call him, would you put the “Closed” sign on the door?”

“Absolutely,” muttered Lorelai, still scribbling. 

“You didn’t have to come, you know,” he said quietly. 

“I know,” said Lorelai, smiling slightly. “But you sustain our friendship with daily infusions of caffeine. It’s only right I should return the favor with some of my own expertise in hospital-waiting.” 

“Thanks,” said Luke quietly. “Really. I appreciate it.” 

Lorelai’s pager went off abruptly, and she looked down. “Shit, it’s Sookie - I’ll stop at the diner on my way to the Inn - “

“Go,” said Luke, waving a hand. “I’m fine. Thanks for the tea.”

“Keep the thermos, I’ll bring it back to Sookie later,” she said over her shoulder, striding out of the waiting room. 

Luke sighed, and took a sip from the thermos; he seemed to be having trouble swallowing. Jess’ appendix had ruptured on the operating table , which seemed unlikely to Luke. He supposed it was better that it had happened in the hospital, but what did he know? He tried to comfort himself with the fact that the nurse had not seemed overly concerned.  

He looked down at his watch. He had managed to burn ten minutes of the half hour he was promised until there was another update. He started pacing again, but now the room was more crowded and he kept running into people, so he found a nearly deserted stairwell and went outside for some air. 

This turned out to be a terrible idea; it had started snowing, and the snow was already carpeting the truck’s windshield out in the parking lot. Luke irritably went over and yanked the wipers out of the snow, then shoved his ungloved hands in his pockets and stumped back over to the door, leaning against the wall of the hospital under the shelter of the doorway. It was getting colder, and he wasn’t dressed for the weather. He could still smell the hospital on every scrub-clad person coming out of the door. Eventually, he gave up on the concept of fresh air entirely, and found his way back up the stairwell, to the third-floor waiting room, and started in on the tea again, trying to warm himself up. 

He had just finished the tea and gotten some feeling back in his fingertips when the surgical nurse reappeared.

“Mr. Danes?”

“Yeah?” He felt his chest tighten again as she waved him over to the corner of the room, holding a chart. 

“Your nephew is out of surgery, and the surgeons were able to deal with the rupture quickly. We don’t expect any complications, but as I said, he’ll need a course of antibiotics. We’d also like to keep him here another day for observation.”

Luke nodded dumbly as the information seemed to filter through his brain. Jess would be fine. The surgeons had done their job. He was out of surgery. 

“You can see him now, if you like. He’ll be coming round soon, but he’ll still be a little out of it for a while.”

Luke nodded again. Now that he had managed to absorb the fact that Jess would be all right, the tightness in his chest seemed to be dissipating, but he wasn’t entirely sure his voice would work properly.

The nurse looked at him for a second, then tilted her head towards the hallway. “Come with me, Mr. Danes.”

He followed her down a hallway, past a sign that said “Recovery”, then to a small room. Jess was lying on a bed, his eyes still closed, an IV taped to his arm. Luke’s breath caught in his throat again - Jess almost looked worse than he had before, chalk-white and fully unconscious. 

“He’s taking a little while to come out of the anesthetic,” said the nurse kindly, looking at Luke’s face. “It’s not uncommon with teenagers. We expect he’ll be waking up pretty soon. You can wait here until he does.”

“Thanks,” said Luke, sitting awkwardly in a chair next to the bed.

“I’ll be back in a little while to check in, and Dr. Grey will be back later.” Luke nodded again, and the nurse disappeared, leaving Luke alone again to wait. 

It was easier, now that the surgery was over, but Luke still didn’t know quite what to do with himself. The feeling of uselessness was starting to creep over him again. When his dad had been in the hospital, he had held his hand, but he strongly suspected Jess would find some caustic response to the very notion. Luke settled for pulling his chair in closer to Jess’ bed and leaning a little against the bed frame, watching his face for any signs of wakefulness.

After what seemed like a long time, but which on the wall clock was only a few minutes, Jess’ eyelids twitched. He opened one eye and looked directly at Luke. 

“Hey,” Luke said softly. “How’re you feeling?”
“Like someone just cut me open,” croaked Jess.

Luke half-smiled. “Good, that’s what they were supposed to do.”

Jess swallowed and shut his eyes again. “Room’s spinning.”

“Yeah, they said you’d be a little out of it for a while,” said Luke.

Jess’ eyes opened slightly, and he seemed to be looking at the clock. 

“Is that three p.m. or a.m.?” he asked hoarsely. 

“Three p.m.”

“You missed the lunch rush.” 

Luke furrowed his brow. 

“What are you talking about? I closed the diner, remember?”

“I thought you’d go back. You don’t have to stay here.”

Luke looked at Jess in surprise. “What? Don’t be ridiculous. You had emergency surgery .”

“It’s not like I’m dying,” Jess said hoarsely.

“Your appendix ruptured on the table. I’m told that’s bad.”

“Oh,” said Jess slowly.

“They said you’ll be fine, you just need a course of antibiotics. And they want to keep you here another day,” said Luke quickly, trying to sound reassuring. Jess nodded, looking down at his lap. For a moment, Luke was silent. Then he leaned in closer.

“You scared the hell out of me this morning, kid,” he said gently. “Try not to make a habit of it, will you?”

“Pretty sure I don’t have another appendix,” Jess answered, with the ghost of a smirk.

“Good. Taking you to the hospital again is the last thing I want to do.”

“Sorry,” said Jess uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean to freak you out or anything.”

“Don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault,” snorted Luke. 

“You didn’t have to stay -”

“Are you kidding me? What else was I going to do, just leave after they took you in for emergency surgery with a hundred-five degree fever?” Luke stared incredulously at Jess’ face again.
Jess shrugged. “I don’t know. You have a business to run.”
Luke sighed in frustration. “Now, I’ll freely admit I don’t know that much about raising a teenager, but I’m pretty sure taking you to the hospital when you need it is pretty basic stuff. Like I said, you scared me. I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay.” 

“Thanks,” muttered Jess. “I know you don’t like hospitals.”

“You don’t either. But they’re a necessary evil.”
“I’m coming around to hospitals, actually,” said Jess, a little hoarsely. “They smell weird and all, but you’re right, they do have good drugs.” He fingered absently at his blanketed right side, where Luke supposed the incision must be. 

“Huh. Makes sense. I’ve probably been approaching hospitals all wrong.”

“Definitely easier to get the strong stuff if you’re sick. You should try it sometime.”

“Not until you get your license so you can drive me here,” said Luke, with a small chuckle. 

“Fine,” sighed Jess in mock resignation.

“Feeling better?”

“I mean, aside from the hole in my side, just peachy.”

“Seriously, Jess.” 

Jess turned his head to look Luke in the eye again. “Better than when we got here,” he sighed reluctantly. “But I don’t know if that’s still just the drugs or not.”

“The nurse said she’d be back. And Dr. Grey. They’ll probably tell you.”

“Speak of the devil,” said Jess, nodding at the door. The nurse had appeared outside the door again. 

“Hi, there, how are we feeling?” she asked, in what Luke considered to be an unnecessarily chipper tone. 

“Not dead,” Jess deadpanned. The nurse looked a little surprised, but continued.

“You’ll probably be woozy for a while,” she said, pulling a chart from the end of the bed. “And we’ve got you on a course of antibiotics to avoid infection after your appendix ruptured during surgery. That’s what’s in this IV,” she said, coming around the bed and inspecting a needle taped to the back of Jess’ hand. 

“Huh. Figured that would be whatever you gave me for the pain.”

“No, you were given a shot of morphine after surgery.”

“That’s the good stuff,” said Jess to Luke out of the corner of his mouth. 

“Just listen to the nurse,” muttered Luke. 

“I’ll be by with some more pain medicine in about an hour,” said the nurse. “Before the morphine wears off.” Jess nodded.

“And Dr. Grey’s going to check on your incision,” continued the nurse, nodding at the door, where the doctor had reappeared, still wearing a surgical cap. “Everything looks normal, doctor,” said the nurse, handing over the clipboard. 

“Thank you,” said Dr. Grey, peering at the chart. “Well, Jess, it’s a good thing we got you in here when we did. I’ve never actually seen an appendix rupture on the table before.”

“I’m sorry, how is that good ?” asked Jess. Luke looked at him sternly. “Ma’am?” added Jess hastily. 

“Well, we were able to stop the debris contaminating your abdominal cavity,” explained Dr. Grey, looking a lot less thrown than the nurse had at Jess’ snark. “If it had burst any earlier, we’d be looking at a much higher likelihood of infection. You’re lucky your uncle got you here in time.”

“Thanks,” muttered Jess, looking at Luke out of the corner of his eye. Luke swallowed and nodded. Dr. Grey continued.

“So, we’d like to keep you here through the rest of the day tomorrow. If there are no signs of infection in 24 hours, you can go home. Now I need to have a look at your incision.” Jess sighed, but allowed Dr. Grey to pull back his hospital gown and peel up a corner of the bandage taped to his side. Luke looked away; he very much did not want to think about her cutting Jess open with a knife.

“Okay, everything looks good for now. We’ll be monitoring your vitals and checking in periodically, but I’m confident we’ve done enough to avoid complications.” 

“Thanks, doctor,” said Luke, a little gruffly. 

“Just doing my job,” said Dr. Grey, smiling back at him. “Jess, it’s best you try to get some sleep.” She clipped the chart back to Jess’ bed, and swept out of the room. 

“Hey,” said Jess hoarsely, turning his head back to look at Luke again. “Did you tell Liz?”

“Yeah,” said Luke, with a sigh. “She said she’s sorry, she can’t make it to visit, but she hopes you feel better soon.” No reason not to sugarcoat things a little, he thought, not when Jess was in the hospital and his mother wouldn’t come. 

Jess rolled his eyes. “Sure,” he muttered. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sure she’d come if she could make it. It’s a long way.”

“Don’t be so sure,” said Jess, swallowing and closing his eyes again. 

“Oh, c’mon -”

“It doesn’t matter,” shrugged Jess. “Could you get my book that’s in the truck?”

“What, you had a book on you when we left?”

“I keep one in the truck. Last of the Mohicans .”

“ Last of the Mohicans ? Really?” said Luke, almost chuckling. 

“Shut up,” grunted Jess. “It’s really long and super dense, so it lasts a long time.”

“Okay, fine,” said Luke. “Where is it?”

“Under the front passenger seat,” muttered Jess, his eyes still closed. 

“You got it,” grunted Luke, getting up from his chair. It was less awkward to actually have something to do.

He went back out to the snow-covered truck, wrenched open the icy passenger door, and fumbled under the seat. It took a moment to find the heavy, hardcover book jammed in the seat mechanism. Finally, he managed to get his fingers around the leather spine and pull it out. He shut the door, harder than he had meant to, and a pile of snow slid down over the windscreen. 

“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, trying to remember if the snow scraper was in the back of the truck, then he looked back down at the snow still falling on the book. PROPERTY OF NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY was stamped across the edges of the pages. He swore under his breath again as he strode towards the door of the hospital. 

Once inside, he strode over to the stairwell, flicking open the cover of the book. The library checkout log was almost completely full of entries dating back to 1989, but the last ten or so caught Luke’s eye. Every single one looked distinctly like Jess’ handwriting, but didn’t bear his name.

Edmund Pevensie

Charles Wallace Murry

Robert Jordan

Billy Pilgrim

Frederic Henry

George Wickham

Frank Churchill

Sal Paradise

The entry under “Sal Paradise” was the last one, the date stamped next to it the day before Jess had come to Stars Hollow. 

He made his way back through the hospital, and strode back into Jess’ room.

“Jess, did you steal this book from the library?” he asked, perhaps more loudly than he had meant.

“This is a hospital ,” said Jess in a mock scolding tone. “Uncle Luke, I’m surprised at you. There are sick people trying to sleep.”

“Seriously, Jess, this is a library book. And it’s two months overdue.” 

Jess rolled his eyes at this.

“Look in the checkout log, I’m the only person who’s taken that out in the last five years.”

“Oh, you’re Sal Paradise now?”

“It’s fine,” said Jess placatingly. “The librarian knows me. I asked her and she let it slide.” 

“Does she know you moved to another state?” Luke asked, shaking the book in Jess’ face.

“I told her it might be awhile,” muttered Jess. “S’OK, they’re due to replace that copy soon anyway.”

“You gonna get slapped with a fine the next time you set foot in a New York library?”

“What do you care?” Jess groaned, holding out a hand. “Can you just let me read it for now?”

Luke sighed; Jess did have a point, it wasn’t as if he could return it now. He handed over the book silently, then sat back down in the chair next to him. Jess flipped open the book, found his place within seconds - despite himself, Luke marveled inwardly at this, because the book had to be at least eight hundred pages - and settled in to read. Luke sat back in the chair, and stared into space for a few minutes. 

It was a while before he remembered there was a TV in the room, and he turned it on for something to do, flipping the channels until he found a baseball game that he watched without really seeing it for a while. He looked up when Jess closed the book for a second, his finger trapped on the page as if he was about to open it again. 

“Uncle Luke?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh…sorry about earlier. I didn’t…I didn’t mean to make you do this.”

“You didn’t make me do anything, kid,” he muttered awkwardly. 

“You don’t have to stay.”

“What else do you keep thinking I’m supposed to do? You’re sick. You had surgery. I’m here.”  

There was a long silence; Jess fiddled with the pages of the book. 

“Thanks,” he said awkwardly, looking down. 

“Nothing to thank me for,” muttered Luke, eyes fixed on the screen, thinking privately it was lucky Jess hadn’t gotten sick on Liz’ watch. Jess was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke again.

 “I’ll return the book, don’t worry,” he added, a little louder this time, flipping it back open. And in spite of himself, Luke felt the corners of his mouth twitch in a grin.