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“I’m gonna kill you, Steven.”
‘You can’t kill Steven.’ Marc tried to sound serious, but his voice wavered.
“Watch me.”
‘All I did was watch a bloody documentary!’ Steven protested. ‘It’s not my fault it gave Khonshu ideas!’
Jake ground his teeth together. “Khonshu, I really don’t need to hear this.”
"I realize you are somewhat older than is typical for ‘the talk’, but--"
“I am a grown man.” Jake snarled, knocking the condom out of the bird’s hands. “And even if I wasn’t I’m not…this…Marc and Steven are safe, okay? And they’re only interested in Layla!”
“And if you were to seek another partner? What then?”
The kid just HAD to watch a TED talk about declining bee populations. Which led to him talking to Khonshu about loss of pollination. Which led to discussion of modern slang. Which led to…whatever the fuck this was.
‘I think dear old Dad’s just trying to bond with you.’ Steven teased. ‘He--’
“Steven, if you and the other idiota don’t shut the fuck up and leave us alone, I will kick both your asses.” Jake’s voice went low.
‘We’re here if you need us.’ Marc knew that tone; Jake needed space.
Jake clenched his jaw until he knew he and Khonshu were alone. “I’m not interested in another partner.”
“Then in the prevention of offspring. Unless Layla is prepared for Motherhood. As both Taweret and I are gods of--”
“Jesus Jefe, can you just stop already? Talk to Marc and Steven about that shit!” Jake snapped. “I know the mechanics, alright?”
“And yet, you have not engaged. Aside from being the god of fertility, as you know, I am able to read your mind, my son.” Khonshu sighed. “This is nothing new.”
“If you know that, then why the fuck are you still acting like it’s something that’s gonna happen?” Jake snarled. “If you can see in there, then you can damn well see that I’m not interested in sex!”
“I…” Khonshu tilted his head slightly. “...Oh.”
Heat rose in Jake’s chest. “Oh? OH? That’s it?”
“The human mind is a confusing thing at best!” Khonshu shot back. “Thoughts of intercourse were never at the forefront when I delved into your mind. I presumed it was due to inopportune timing!”
“Inopportune…” Jake tried not to burst into hysterics. “You never fucking noticed I don’t fuck?!”
“I noticed! Thus this talk! I presumed you might have required instruction!”
“Madre de Dios, someone kill me.” Jake groaned, slumping onto the couch.
Khonshu was well and truly flustered now. “I am of course aware of individuals that are uninterested in--Marc and Steven are not--Layla must be aware--”
Jake buried his face in his hands. This was a nightmare. “I thought you knew, okay?”
“No. No, I did not.”
There was a note in the god’s tone that Jake couldn’t read. An icy trickle wound down his spine. He kept saying that he didn’t care who knew he was ace, that he was secure that…but then shit like this happened. Khonshu was a healer. A protector. But he was also fertility. Did this disqualify him from being the god’s Avatar in some way? Or did sharing a body with Marc and Steven keep that loop-hole open? Was--
“Jake.” Khonshu settled beside him. “Breathe. I did not mean to…I simply did not know.”
The bird slipped an arm around his shoulders and drew him to his side. “This changes nothing, my son.”
“Not much of a son.” Jake muttered. “Can’t exactly carry on your bloodline. Even if we shared it.”
Khonshu was silent for a few moments. “Do you know why you are my son, Jake?”
“I’d say something about the nose, but I’m pretty sure that’d be hate speech.” There was probably a shitty joke buried somewhere in there, but Jake’s anxiety was still cresting high.
“You are unlike Marc and Steven.” Khonshu’s grip on him tightened. “Marc was born from a mother and father. From love, once upon a time before…before. Steven had his false mother. You however…you were born from one thing and one thing only, Jake Lockley. You were born from the need to protect.”
Jake flinched. La maldita cueva. That was where he’d been born. Where he had failed.
Khonshu didn’t let go. “You were the child born to protect. Cast out. Forever seeking to shield, even at the cost of their own happiness, for those who would never know they were there. Now; do you see why I would see myself in you? Why I would want better for you than my own family has given me? Why there is kinship between us, even where there is no shared blood? Why you are my son?”
There was something in Jake’s throat. He nodded, tucking himself further into Khonshu’s side. “Y-yeah. Guess so, Jefe.”
The god made a small noise. “Have we not…progressed beyond my being your “boss” ?”
“We have.” Jake swallowed, hard. “Everyone I really like gets a nickname, right?”
“I have noticed this.”
“Steven’s the youngest, so he’s the kid. Patojo. Layla’d kill me if I called her cutie to her face, but Chula works fine. Even though in Spanish that means hot in Guatemalan it means cutie so that works. Marc just gets Idiota but he likes it, so that’s fine.”
“I see.”
“Good. And…Jefe stopped meaning ‘boss’ a long time ago.” Jake forced himself to look up. “I guess I thought it was like me being Ace. I thought you knew.”
‘Father’ couldn’t quite make it past Jake’s lips. He sat quiet for a few moments, letting the god read his mind.
Khonshu wrapped his other arm around his Avatar, and held him close. “My son.”
Jake laid his head on the god’s chest, heartbeat slowing to something approaching normal. “I’m alright, Jefe. It’s okay.”
It would be.