Archive of Our Own

“Hello, idiots,” sounds through the speakers. “Nice, this thing is on,” Darcy cheered. “Welcome everyone, I’m Darcy and although it’s still up for debate whether I’m the best friend of either of the grooms, I’m definitely the chattiest one. So I was given the honours of retelling the story of how they got together. Which makes sense, as I was the most involved with that.”

“It all started back when we were still in uni. Charlie and I were waiting in my flat for the rest of our friends to arrive, when Nick asked for dating advice. But I knew that my duty was to help Charlie get his man, even if it meant that Nick had to forget about his crush on some girl. Sorry Imogen.”

“It’s alright!” Imogen yells from the crowd. “You got us all where we need to be.” She says as she squeezes her fiancée's hand.

“So, I stole Charlie’s phone and advised Nick to send her a poem with his deepest and most meaningful thoughts, but instead he first wrote one for Charlie. But after that was set straight, Imogen was, as predicted, not that fond of the poem and she turned Nick down. And no, I will not be reading any of the poems, because trust me when I say this; Nick is an awful poet.”

As the crowd laughs, Charlie smiles at his husband, both knowing for a fact that things went a bit different than that. Not only was Darcy telling her own interpretation, but they had also asked Darcy to change a few details since people like their parents were in the room.

“Earth to Charlie?” Darcy asked.

“Hmm?” Charlie hummed as he looked up from his phone.

“I said that we should decide what movie we should watch before Tao arrives. This way we don’t have to watch Donnie Darko again.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the others?” Charlie suggested. His phone buzzed again.

“Maybe… If you tell me who keeps pinging you,” Darcy said.

Charlie huffed. “They just keep tagging me in the server for the freshers fair, the one where they decided that they can ask wildly different people to organise a uni event that is supposed to be coherent and like a big family . I love the Pride society, but why did I agree on having discord as our main channel of communication ?”

“Wait. Is that the project with Hotty McHotface?”

“Who?” Charlie asked, deeply regretting telling her about him in the first place.

“You know. The rugby captain you are crushing on.”

“I don’t have a crush on Nick,” Charlie lied. “And he has a crush on some girl anyway. Look.” Charlie showed Darcy the most recent chat.

“I see. Yeah, he’s completely smitten,” Darcy said sarcastically.

Charlie looked at the next messages that popped up. “It’s even worse.”

Charlie frowned, “Ew, Harry called me mate.”

“Just tell Nick that he needs to slide into her dm’s and call it a day,” Darcy advised.

Charlie sighed. How did he end up like this?

Darcy watched over Charlie’s shoulder and yelled, “I knew you had a thing for himbos!” into his ear. “But why are they asking you for advice?”

“Long story short, remember when Tao and Elle hadn’t admitted their feelings for each other yet?”

“And we gave them a little nudge?” Darcy followed.

“I have a gut feeling that the story that Tao told at the theatre society is a bit different, and so now they think that they wouldn’t have gotten together if it wasn’t for me.”

“Where is my credit? I’m the real dating guru!” Darcy sputtered. “I was the one that made sure no one came in and—” The doorbell rang. “I hope it isn’t Tao. We still haven’t decided on the film yet.” She opened the door and Elle and Tao entered Darcy’s flat. “Elle! Tao!” Good to see you both!”

“I heard what you said,” Tao said. “And it doesn’t matter because we are not watching it anyway.”

Elle and Charlie greeted each other, knowing not to come between Tao and his movies.

“Speaking of what people said, what did you say about you and Elle to your theatre group?”

Elle turned towards Tao. “What did you say?”

“I just told them how we got together, how Charlie locked us in a room and they might have dramatised it.”

“I see,” Darcy said. “Has Nick given any updates yet?” she asked Charlie.

“Nick Nelson?” Elle asked.

Charlie opened Discord as Elle and Darcy hovered along over his shoulder.

Nick: 2 new DM’s

“He dmed you?” Elle said.

“He dmed you!” Darcy said.

“Why has Nick Nelson slid in his dms?” Elle asked. Tao also joined the huddle around Charlie and looked in disbelief at his phone.

“I guess he likes your dating advice.” Darcy teasingly poked Charlie’s side.

Before Charlie could think of another response, Darcy hijacked Charlie’s phone. “You have messaged with him before.” She scrolled up, revealing the messages from Nick from almost two weeks prior.

“Oh my,” Darcy laughed. “So that’s why you are sending ‘8’ all the time.”

Charlie tried to get his phone back. “It was just cute, alright?”

“Charlie, what are you even trying with him?” Tao groaned. “You know he’s straight.”

Darcy jumped on a chair, not letting Charlie take it. “In that case, we are giving him dating advice from a real dating guru. C'est moi ,” she said, butchering the French.

“Can you make sure I have daisies at my funeral?” Charlie asked Elle, as he didn’t want to risk fighting Darcy on the chair.

With a smirk, Darcy typed on Charlie’s phone, only giving it back when Tara arrived at their flat. While Darcy greeted her, Charlie examined the damage.

Alright, that could be worse. For Charlie at least. He was afraid that Darcy had sent him a love declaration.

Discord indicated that Nick was typing again. Hopefully, Nick didn’t actually follow through with her advice.

Before Charlie’s brain had the time to process what was happening, it had already loaded. And there it was, in his full erect glory; Nick Nelson’s penis.

No, no, nope. Charlie locked his phone as fast as he could. He looked around, his friends were fortunately more occupied with Tara and the snacks she’d brought than Charlie, so he quickly scurried away to the bathroom before his head would get redder than a beet.

Charlie sat down on the closed toilet lid and took a few deep breaths. Not only was it a nice looking and well taken dick pic, it was also Nick’s. The same Nick he had spent entire meetings daydreaming about. The same Nick that made this entire project not a total misery because every time they made eye contact, Nick would give him that trademarked Nick Nelson smile. And every time Charlie pitched an idea, Nick showed his support.

Wait. Was it really Nick? Charlie very carefully opened discord again and looked at the picture. After Charlie managed to take his eyes off the dick, he noticed the firm rugby hands decorated by a sea of freckles. Yes, that’s Nick’s. Fuck. With Charlie’s brain still in scrambles, there was only one thing he could say to avoid leaving him on read.

Charlie realised that he had been away for a while and should go back before his friends started to get suspicious.

“Charlie. Isaac said that he will be there in five, so give us the updates on Nick before Tao insists on starting the film.”

“No,” Charlie said shortly.

“Come on.” Darcy managed to grasp Charlie’s phone out of his hands before he even knew it.

“You don’t need to meddle with everything,” Charlie argued.

“I just want to help.” Darcy reached over, trying to steal Charlie’s finger for a fingerprint.

“He sent me a dick pic!” Charlie blurted out.

“Ew, gross.” Darcy handed Charlie his phone back, holding it between her pointer finger and thumb, as if the phone actually touched the dick.

“It’s your fault.”

“That’s debatable.” Darcy opened the door of her flat and looked in the hallway, hiding for the hypothetical debate whether it was her fault or not. “Is Isaac coming or not?” Moments later, she saw her friend. “Isaac!” she yelled down the hallway.

Isaac looked at his friends, clearly sensing the weird vibes. “What is going on?”

“Nick Nelson sent Charlie a dick pic,” Tao explained.

“Was it a nice one?”

“Isaac!” Tao scolded.

They unanimously decided to drop the topic and watch the movie Tao had picked out. It was actually quite entertaining, giving Charlie the opportunity to check in on Nick while his friends were distracted.

Charlie suppressed a sigh as he put his phone back down. He was the real idiot, forgetting that he was out to impress a girl. As all was lost anyway, Charlie wanted to go out like a hero at least. So he went to his secret folder named ‘confidence’, selected his favourite dick pic and sent it to Nick.

“So what does Charlie do after he receives the worst poem ever? He just sends one back. Just showing the most intimate and deepest feelings, so a guy can give him feedback on it,” Darcy continued her speech.

“And what do they do after that? Don’t talk to each other until they have a meeting together of course.”

A few weeks had passed since the dick pic exchange and Charlie didn’t know how to act around Nick as he went from thinking ‘What a nice smile, you’re so adorable’ to ‘What a nice smile, I know what your dick looks like.’

“So any volunteers for taking photographs?” Zayna asked.

“I can maybe squeeze in a moment,” Abby said.

“I’m no professional or anything but I’m happy to do it,” Nick said. “I’m trying to pick up the camera more often.”

“Why don’t we let Nick do it,” Charlie said. “Abby has enough on her plate and I bet that Nick will get the angles just right.”

Nick looked at him, raising his eyebrows. Oh, he knows. Charlie quickly reached for his phone for a distraction.

Charlie took a selfie and sent it to his friends with the caption ‘Help me’

Fuck. Darcy was no doubt on her way to meddle with Nick and him, and that was the last thing he needed. He wanted this project to be over and just forget about it all.

“Charlie?” Zayna asked. “Nick said that you would be able to help with writing the promo piece.”

“Yeah sure,” Charlie shrugged. “Excuse me.” He got up and fled to the men’s restroom, away from a potential incoming Darcy and her meddling. He could just keep himself locked in a stall until either Nick or Darcy were gone. No biggie.

The door creaked open. “Charlie? Are you in here?” It was Nick.

“No,” Charlie answered.

“I’m sorry. Somehow I misinterpreted your suggestion the other day.”

Charlie opened the door of the stall. “That suggestion should have never been sent. It’s my fault.”

Nick stood in front of the stall. “It was a good suggestion. She did ask me on a date.”

The reminder made Charlie feel like his bruised heart was stomped on again. Would it be weird if he closed the stall door again and disappeared forever?

“Not that it worked out,” Nick continued. “Sometimes you just like a girl instead of like her, you know?”

Charlie managed to produce a giggle. “No. I’m gay.”

“Hi, nice to meet you, gay. I’m bi.”

“You… are?”

“Uhm, yes.” Nick scratched his neck. “Technically, I’m publicly out, I’m just not as out out as you are.”

“Yeah, that’s valid.”

“Does this make you uncomfortable?”

“No. Not at all.” Charlie got up from the loo.

“Alright, you did seem a bit startled.” Nick stepped to the side to let Charlie out. “It’s just, maybe you are uncomfortable that I liked more than the lighting in the picture.”

He likes his dick. He actually liked it. Of course, that didn’t make him uncomfortable, that was the goal!

Charlie leaned against the sink. “Are you uncomfortable that I liked more than the angle on yours?”

“I didn’t really think about it like that.” Nick moved next to him, leaning against the same sink. Their legs touched; Charlie could feel the warmth of Nick’s thigh through their trousers. He looked at Nick’s lips. Soft, about the same colour as the head of his penis and begging to be kissed.

“Would it make you uncomfortable if I were to like more than your penis?” Charlie asked.

“No, I… I would like that.”

“Alright. Because I do.” Charlie noticed that both of them had their hands resting on their own thigh. Slowly, he inched his hand towards Nick's, brushing his pinkie against him.

Nick looked down at their hands and back up to Charlie. “Would it make you uncomfortable if I were to kiss you?” Nick asked.

“No. Of course not.” Charlie watched as Nick leaned in, slowly closing his eyes as he anticipated Nick’s lips.

“Wait does this mean I get to kiss you?” Nick had stopped leaning in.

Charlie didn’t even take the time to affectionately call him an idiot, instead he closed the gap between their lips.

Nick’s soft warm lips contrasted with the cold hard sink his butt was resting on. Nick moved in front of him, sliding his hand over Charlie’s thigh. Charlie briefly let go of Nick to sit down on the sink, letting Nick stand between his legs.

After Charlie had become pleasantly familiar with the taste of Nick’s tongue, he let go to catch his breath.

“We should get back before they start looking for us.” Nick took a step backwards. Charlie already missed Nick’s body against his.

Charlie hopped off the sink and rubbed his cold butt. “Or before someone walks in.”

Nick walked to the exit and Charlie followed, disappointed he had to leave their room of passion, even if it was just a restroom.

It was a short walk back to the meeting, but as they walked through the hallway, Charlie was reminded why he left in the first place. Darcy had figured out the correct room based on the selfie and stood waiting outside for them.

“Heyyyy, Charlie, Nick!” she greeted. “Shouldn’t you be in the meeting?”

“Heyyy, Darcy.” Charlie greeted back. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, you said that you needed help, so I thought I would come and be there for mental support afterwards,” Darcy said with a cheeky grin.

“That is so kind of you.” Charlie acted. “I will see you in a bit then.” He opened the door and entered with Nick.

“Nick, mate. I missed you.” Harry approached Nick, not paying attention to the fact that they came back together. “I need to know what you think of something.”

As the meeting was coming to an end, most of the people were in small groups discussing the final things.

Charlie approached Beth. “Did I miss anything?” he asked them.

“Not much,” they responded. “Mainly Harry being indecisive.”

“Ah, that’s a relief.”

“But is everything alright? You seemed a bit zoned out.”

“Yeah. Now I’m just upset that I missed the best part,” Charlie laughed.

After Nick helped Harry sort out a few things he went back to Charlie. “So, what’s up with your friend outside?”

“That’s Darcy. She has been meddling for a bit, trying to get us together.”

“Like you did with your friends?”

“Like she did with our friends. But maybe even worse. So I want to get revenge.”

“Do you have a plan?” Nick asked.

“Yes.”

With the meeting officially adjourned, people were leaving the room and Charlie followed them, approaching Darcy.

“Hey, Charlie. Where’s Nick?” She asked. Charlie just shrugged; she would be smart enough to figure out he was still inside.

“Is Tao still looking for company? We could go meet up with him.” Charlie turned himself towards the exit of the building, knowing damn well she wouldn’t follow.

“Wait here. I need to do something.” Darcy went towards Nick. “Nick!”

“Me?” Nick acted all confused. If Charlie didn’t know better, he would say that Nick was the representative of the theatre society.

“Do you want to come hang with us?”

Well, there goes their plan of seeing how long Darcy could convince Charlie to wait for Nick, all crushed by Darcy and her zero fucks. (Unless when she is meddling, then she gives a lot of fucks.)

Nick looked at Charlie, looking for guidance.

“I don’t know Nick that well, I don’t want it to be awkward.”

“Nonsense, I reckon that you know quite a lot about him,” Darcy smirked.

“Thank you, but I have still a bunch of work to do,” Nick padded this bag filled with imaginary work.

“We could go to the library, work together,” Darcy suggested.

“I need a break from work,” Charlie said. “Why don’t you two go to the library and I will go hang with Tao.” Charlie was having way too much fun, Darcy wasn’t going to keep them together that easy.

“Alright,” Darcy said. “I guess it’s time to get to know Nick better.”

Fuck. Darcy made an unexpected move. And leaving Nick alone with Darcy was not part of the plan.

“I will go walk along with you,” Charlie said. Is Tao’s flat in the other direction than the library? Yes. But why would Darcy stop him?

As they left, it was time to initiate part two of the plan: them turning against each other.

“So… Nick.” Darcy started. “What do you think of the LGBT society?”

“I think it’s great that people have a place to come together and share their experiences. I heard it can really help people with figuring out their identities.”

Omg, he is also attractive when he says smart things.

Charlie slowed down, letting Nick walk in front of him and Darcy. And not only for the view.

“Darcy, why did you invite Nick over?” Charlie asked Darcy, definitely within hearing distance of Nick.

“I thought it would be nice to get to know him better,” Darcy said.

“Maybe I don’t want to get to know him better. Maybe I have seen enough and didn’t like what I saw!”

Nick turned around. “But you said you liked it and that you jerked off to it!”

“No, I never did that.” That was a real lie, but Nick doesn’t need to know that yet. “Why would I do such a gross thing.”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you are gross.” Nick stomped towards him.

“Guys, guys.” Darcy placed her hand in between them. “Maybe we can talk this out?”

“No.” Charlie sought eye contact with Nick.

“Why would we?” Nick gently nodded. Contact established. Charlie gently nodded back before he ignored Darcy’s hand and kissed Nick right in front of her.

Charlie was brought back to the comfort of Nick’s lips on his. But this time with Darcy’s hand stuck between them.

“But… but…” Darcy stammered before Nick and Charlie broke down in laughter.

“Oh my. Poor Darcy.” Charlie put his hand on Darcy’s shoulder. “Sorry, but I had to get my revenge.”

“So… you two are actually together? For how long?”

“Less than an hour,” Charlie said. “I love you but you deserve the payback. That’s what you get for meddling.”

“But my meddling worked?” Darcy said.

“I like to think we figured it out on our own. Only took a dick pic or two?” Nick laughed.

“There were two?!”

“Not going to lie, in the six years that they dated, they have pulled many pranks on me and our friends. But I think this is still one of my favourites. They were barely together and already as coordinated as a married couple, and I wish that as an actual married couple now, you two keep on being as coordinated as you were on day one.” Darcy raised her glass, toasting to the newlyweds.

=The end=