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Chapter Text

Last time on Ghosts:

In a sea of instant delete photos Richard Johnson paused at one particular photo. Right next to him was a blurry figure dressed in the same British solider cosplay as him. With the same hair, same build same… everything. It looked as though he was being pushed over by an unknown force. The strange thing is Richard didn’t remember anyone being pushed in front of him when Frank ripped down his pants. The more he scrolled the more he thought the blurry figure was suspicious.

Richard took out his phone and opened twitter @mysterymachine.

“Hey Mystery Gang, I think I found a poltergeist at Woodstone B&B.”

“Scooby dooby dooo live on youtube, were gonna find some gools yeah” hummed Jay along with the ipad in the kitchen. Mark had linked him this show last week (after they needed a contractor to repair the concrete damage after Thor and Trevor exploded a barrel of gun powder) and he was hooked. He loved the characters, the houses, the plot twists and all of the cool scifi stuff (not to mention that the show is free and that always helps.)

“It’s dull and rainy afternoon again” Sam complained as she walked into the kitchen “You’d think we were in Seattle.”

Jay chuckled and Sam sat down next to Jay to pour herself some water. “What are you watching?”

“It’s called Scooby Doo” Jay explains pausing his video “It’s a group of teens doing van-life who go around the country solving mysteries and filming it for youtube.”

“Oooo van-life” Flower says excited at the prospect and coming closer to the screen, “I rode a van one time, wait… no… I rode ON a man named Van one time. Oh… wait… I rode Van in a van!”

“I like the outfits” Pete said “These teens are wearing what I did when I was their age.”

“70s ascetic in with gen Z” Thor explained as the group looked at him, “pretty cool.”

“Gen Z!” Trevor exclaimed “Damn I’m old, back in my day they were only up to X.”

“One could say that you are part of the X-men” Pete chuckled, smiling when Alberta chuckled too.

“Thor be part of C-men” Thor tacked on.

“C-men” Alberta quipped huffing a quick laugh at the Viking “You want to try again Thor?”

“Gen A-men Thor grandpa, Gen B-men Thor father” Thor explained loudly “Thor C-men, Thor smart, understand generations.”

“That would make your son a D-men” Pete joked to Alberta who giggled.

“Yes, Bjorn is D-men” Thor agrees, missing the joke “New generation, lost its way.” Thor said repeating what he had seen on TV.

“I think you would like Daphne” Jay says unpausing the video and pointing to the screen “She used to be a journalist on channel 5.”

“Unimportant Jay, who is that?” Hetty asks pointing aggressively at the blonde man.

“Who is the blonde one?” Sam repeats mildly curious herself.

“That’s Fred” Jay replies “He’s like their defacto leader, he usually catches the bad-guy.”

“I’d let him catch me, that bad bag guy” Hetty mutters leaning closer into the screen before seeing something horrendous. “What is that hideous thing?”

“Is that a dog?” Sam said looking at the huge brown blur, scoffing down kibble.

“Yep, that is Scooby Doo” Jay said “He’s kind of the mascot of the team.”

“Pretty cool dog” Thor agrees “Big, good animal to hunt with.”

“He’s a great dane” Jay continues.

“DANE!!!! DIE BEAST” Thor roars, as the lights start flickering and the ipad stutters and turns off.

“Oh man, they were just about to pull up to the spooky haunted house” Jay says shaking the ipad to try and turn the little device back on. “There was spooky pine trees and it was raining and everything.”

DING DONG

Jay and Sam turn to face the direction of the front door. Jay huffs as he gets up off the chair to greet the unexpected visitors, so much for his chill morning of watching Scooby Doo. Jay opens the door and his jaw drops, standing in front of him is the whole Scooby gang, Fred is even waving at him. Jay shuts the door immediately.

“BABE!” he yells “I think I’m having a stroke!!!! The Scooby Gang is at the door.”

Sam comes running over from the kitchen and opens the door to see the Scooby gang smiling and waving at them. Sam smiles back at her husband and shakes her head.

“Hi!” Sam says to the group of influencers “Welcome to Woodstone B&B. My husband is a big fan of your show.”

“I am so totally excited you are staying at Woodstone B&B!!!” Jay exclaimed happily as he gave a tour of the mansion to the mystery gang. Sam ribbed him in the side. “I mean, I’m totally not super excited that you all are staying at Woodstone B&B.”

“Close enough” quipped Alberta, Jay was great but sometimes he was way too nerdy.

“I think it’s great!” Pete exclaimed “All the fun of going to Comicon, but no need to leave your home.”

“Weren’t you a travel agent Pete?” Alberta quips.

“Weren’t you a travelling performer Alberta” Pete quips back, in a very unlike Pete move. Alberta was impressed, Pete standing up for himself was a juicy prospect.

“oohhooohhoo roasted” Scooby Doo woofed. Sam, Alberta and Pete looked at the dog, he must be talking about Jays “totally not super excited” … roast?

 “What was that Scoob?” Shaggy replies giggling “Like you totally want to check out the kitchen for a roast chicken.”

“oooo roast chicken yummm” Scooby agrees.

“Totally!” Jay says jumping up and down before Sam glares at him “I would be a totally normal amount of excited to cook you two an afternoon snack! How about chicken and waffles.”

“We hit the jackpot Scoob!” Shaggy said before correcting himself “My companion and I would be like super honored to dine at your fine establishment.” Shaggy said bowing at Jay, then turned to Scooby to give big thumbs up!

“That’s all it took for Jay to cook a feast” Alberta said a bit hurt. The only time Jay made her waffles is the day she lost her room.

“Ok then” Fred said confidently “Velma and Daphne, you investigate the manor for clues, I’ll set up the surveillance and traps and Scooby and Shaggy can investigate lunch.”

“Like Scoobs, this day just keeps getting better!” Shaggy said as the two followed Jay into the kitchen.

This was one of the nicest haunted houses Daphne had ever been too, it wasn’t dusty or unkept, sure it was 200 years out of style but that make it kind of charming. Daphne and Velma had been tasked to go look for clues, and as always, they started with the library, looking through the books.

“Looks like someone is doing a lot of research on the revolutionary war” Velma comments as she hacks the ipad sitting on the coffee table “And who’s password is 1234 anyway.”

Daphne giggles, the proprietors sure are some silly gooses. She continues to look through the shelves until she comes across something different. In amongst the books is some paper work.

“Velma, look at this” Daphne says reading the paperwork “It’s a contract for a television show called dumb deaths.”

“The proprietors have made money from ‘ghosts’ in the past then” Velma concludes watching Daphne flip through the paperwork “Hey what is that?” Velma says picking up an old news article from the early 80s.

“The mysterious red poltergeist” Velma read “Pictured here the poltergeist can only be seen through a camera.”

“Here's another article from 1992” Daphne says, “Some hikers think the apparition is from the revolutionary war.”

“The proprietors are researching the revolutionary war” Velma says.

Daphne grabs her phone to look around to see if she can see the poltergeist, but all she can see is books. “Well there is no ghost in here” she concludes opening up Instagram to take a second look at the apparition Richard Johnson saw while he was at the property when she noticed something “Hey Velma, Samantha recently wrote book about the revolutionary war. The Other Founding Father: The Isaac Higgentoot Story.”

Velma adjusted her glasses “Fascinating.”

Sam wasn’t sure if ghost hunters were a REAL thing, but if they were she was going to keep an eye on them, and Fred seemed like the man with a plan. Fred had been busy all afternoon, setting up spy cameras, and now he was setting up some kind of rope around the manor.

“Hi Fred” Sam said walking up to the Mystery Machine where Fred was unloading more ropes.

“Oh Hi Sam” Fred said as his muscles twitched from unloading the heavy rope “I’m just setting up a trap.”

“Thor like traps” Thor agreed.

“Sam you should let the man work” Hetty said, looking lustfully at the sexy blonde man. “His muscles are very busy.”

“Cool, cool” Sam said trying to look nonchalant “And, how does this ghost trap work?”

“I’m glad you asked” Fred said dropping the rope to Hetty’s great disappointment. “See we have these nets woven with strands of Iron, Silver and Gold thread, which as you know is heavy and can catch ghosts.”

“Attractive and wealthy in gold” Hetty exclaims pointing to the ropes “You can catch me anyday Fredrick.”

“And you really think that can catch ghosts?” Sam asks Hetty who shrugs walking up to the rope.

“Nah,” Fred says as Hetty goes down to touch the ropes “We found that a lot of bad guys use mechanical suits, it shorts them out when we electrify it.” He says flipping a switch in the mystery machine.

Hetty starts shaking where she touched the rope her entire body glowing white. “Ohhhhhh myyyyyy Fredrick” she shouts. Sam is frozen in horror at the sight of her great-great-great aunt lit up like a Christmas tree, Hetty doesn’t seem in pain, but the alternative isn’t much better.

“HETTY!” yells Thor leaping into action and focusing his ghost power on the electric power. The Viking squats down focusing and screaming at the power socket until a little spark appears.

“Wow, that was a larger rush than cocaine!” giggles Hetty as the electric ghost traps stops flowing through her body, her eyes blown wide and her body still wobbly.

“hmm the breaker switch tripped” Fred said curiously.

“Uhhh, well its pretty rainy right, water and electricity and all that?” Sam says as she laughs awkwardly.

Luckily for Sam the awkward moment was interrupted by a beep in the mystery machine. “Jinkies! That’s the camera alarm!” Fred says running over to a screen on the laptop in the mystery machine. Sam watched in horror as a blurry Nigel walked across the screen. These ghost hunters mean business, she had to warn Nigel!

Trevor and Sass had been looking all over the mansion for the last 30 minutes looking for the Scooby Gang babes. The mystery crew had leapt into action immediately, splitting up and disappearing into the mansion before Trevor could say YEOWZER.

“Well what do we have here?” Trevor said walking into the library where Daphne and Velma were leaning down over a laptop their short skirts barely covering their underwear.

“Daymn this is better than I thought it would be” Sas agrees pushing Trevor out of the way so he could get a better view.

“Red heads are always hot” Trevor said leering at the purple skirt in front of him “Mostly always hot….” He lied, covering for one particular red-head hottie.

“Looks like Richard Johnson stayed at the B&B two weeks ago” Daphne said “His official Instagram page shows the event as a huge success but some of the attendees think otherwise.”

“Look at this video Daphne” Velma said clicking the link on the laptop. “Sure doesn’t seem like good event planning.”

Sas and Trevor scooted in close to watch the video of the recent revolutionary war re-enactment Woodstone B&B hosted. In particular the video showed Thor and Trevor exploding the gun powder cannister in the field and the subsequent madness.

“Hahahaha yeah that was dynamite work Trev” Sas praised remembering the drama.

“You could say the re-enactment was a blast!” Trevor joked proudly.

“I DMed one of the attendees and he sent back a photo” Daphne said clicking the link before dropping her phone like a hot potato. “Ewww he sent a nude. Gross!”

Velma seemed to have no qualms looking at said nude, pushing up her glasses and clicking on the link on the computer. On the computer was a man in a revolutionary war uniform, well most of a revolutionary war uniform, for this man had no pants. Trevor and Sas instantly recognized the image as the moment that Frank pulled down Richards pants in the middle of the re-enactment.

Trevor and Sas started laughing. “What a great photo!” Trevor laughs.

“Says the man with no pants for the last 20 years” Sas quipped still laughing.

“Don’t need to be a Dick about it!” Trevor laughs, adding some fun self-deprecating humor. After all you didn’t make it through 20 years of having no-pants without being able to laugh at yourself.

“To be Frank, that’s your part” Sas bellowed in laughter.

“Jinkies! This must be Richard Johnson and this must be the ghost” Velma points to the ghostly figure nearby “What a revealing photograph” Velma giggles pushing up her glasses for a closer look at the image.

“Oh I like this one” Sas said, enjoying Velma’s double entendre.

Daphne shakes her head, refusing to take another look at the naked man “Looks like Richard and Frank are looking at opening a business” Daphne says “According to the way-back-when machine it was called “Frank-n-Dick Experience””

“Not accurate though” Sas quips “Well Frank might have the frankendick.”

“Did you not see that nerd?” Trevor says “Frank does have a weird Dick.”

“True” Sas agreed “Their whole event was a sausage fest of weird nerd men.”

“We should check out the room Richard Johnson was staying in for clues.” Velma concludes.

Flower had never seen a great dane before, he looked pretty cool even if Thor was unhappy. Watching the dog and his friend eat piles and piles of waffles and three chickens reminded Flower of Ira when he smoked a little too much weed.

Flower giggled as the man “Shaggy” picked up a waffle, and threw it like a frizbee to his dog companion. Scooby jumped and ate the whole waffle in the air before smashing into the hutch behind him, knocking off a single mug and catching said mug on his nose.

“BRAVO!!!!” Flower jumped and clapped at the dog’s achievement.

“Oh rankrou” the dog said back, looking directly at her and taking a bow.

“Wow! You can see me Scooby Doo” Flower exclaimed “I’m Flower!”

“Herro Frower!” Scooby said waving his paw at the hippy ghost.

“What was that Scoob?” Shaggy said between huge bites of cherry cola waffles “You are going outside to see the flowers. Well ok, but I might eat all your waffles” Shaggy chuckled knowing full well he would eat the chicken and waffles.

“rets ro Flower” Scooby says, directing Flower to another room out of earshot while Shaggy ate his weight in jam and ice-cream.

Isaac was pretty sure he was in heaven, well as close to heaven as one can get without being sucked off. Nigel was warm on top of him as the two cuddled together on the couch in one of the guest rooms. The misty, dim afternoon sunset out the window, adding to the romantic atmosphere as the two lovers shared sweet kisses. Kissing, especially rather intense kissing was still quite new to Isaac, and he was beyond swept away in the sensation.

“Isaac” Nigel whispered in his ear in that delightful way he does “Last week, you said you might like for me to... remove some clothing items. Would you still like to do that?”

“Yes.”

Truthfully in that moment, Isaac might have agreed to light fire to the declaration of independence if it would keep Nigel kissing him.

“Woooo Isaac! Get some!” Trevor voice hollers as a door opens. Isaac and Nigel stopped their kissing turning abruptly to look at the now four people in the room. Isaac was frozen in shock; this was an incredibly awkward position to be caught in especially by Sas and Trevor, the most gossipy and horniest of ghosts.

“Isaac, have you seen the picture of Richard naked?” Sas starts, intentionally making Isaac more uncomfortable with the mention of Nigel’s doppelgänger.

“I guess you can probably feel what we saw hey hey.” Trevor tacks on, thrusting his hips and high fiving Sas while laughing at Isaac.

“Please stop” Isaac begs, horrified at what Trevor was implying while Nigel was still lying flushed against his body.

“Hey Velma” Daphne started, “I think I see something on the camera, can you turn on the light.”

Velma agrees and flicks the light switch on. “There is something blurry, it’s on the couch, looks like it’s taking a floating nap? Do you have the net?” Daphne whispers as the two walk towards Nigel and Isaac.

Trevor runs across the room to the light switch focusing as hard as he can to flick the little button, thank god Sam updated the light switches to a modern ghost friendly design. Daphne and Velma look at each other as the light goes out. “Spooky” says Velma excited to catch the ghost.

“Dude Nigel hide” Trevor said shifting to a serious tone, miles different to the jovial teasing of moments ago. Sas seems to agree, as he pushes Nigel over the top of the couch.

“Excuse me!” Nigel says as he lands unceremoniously on the floor behind the couch.

“Anyone want to explain what is going on?” Isaac said, annoyed at being interrupted in an intimate moment and mad that Sas was tossing his partner around. Only he was allowed to do that!

“Those are ghost hunters” Sas says pointing at the two ladies in orange and purple skirts. “And they can see Nigel on the camera.”

Before Isaac could respond the two ghost hunters had turned the light back on and taken out a net. Curious, Isaac pokes the net and is immediately stung. Wincing in pain at the nets affect on his finger Isaac begins to panic. At any moment they would look behind the couch and see Nigel! At any moment they could capture his paramour in that painful net!

“TREVOR” Isaac screams panicking “DO SOMETHING!!!”

“I’m trying man!!!” Trevor says focusing on the light switch.

“It’s a crafty ghost” says Velma walking around the side of the couch and Isaacs entire relationship with Nigel flashes before his eyes. Centuries of awkward flirting over discussions of poetry. Strolling the grounds taking about whatever suits their fancy. The sweet kisses shared last Christmas evening. This can’t be the end it just can’t be. They had barely just begun to know each other.

“But not that crafty AH-HA!” Velma proclaimed as she throws the net behind the couch.

Isaac gasped in horror at the realisation of what had just happened.

“NIGEL!!!”

Chapter Text

Isaac shut his eyes, he couldn’t bare to watch, bare to see his beloved trapped in a net, ready to be hauled off and… and he didn’t even want to know what happened next. He could barely hear Trevor and Sas screaming over the sound of his own beating heart. There was nothing he could do, nothing he could say, he was useless. He couldn’t save Nigel.

“I guess I missed it” said Velma as she pulled back the net. “Daphne where did the ghost go?”

“I can’t find it” Daphne replied holding out her phone.

Isaac opened his eyes slowly to the two ghost hunters walking around the room searching for Nigel. Isaac breathed a sigh of relief as his eyes darted around the room desperate to see his partner, but he was nowhere to be found. Isaac started panicking again.

“NIGEL?” he yelled out in a desperate last attempt.

“Isaac” said a muffled, vaguely Nigel like voice, from inside the couch. Isaac turned immediately to the origin of the sound expecting to see his beloved but just seeing some throw pillows.

“Isaac, I am under the settee” Nigel said poking his head out from under the couch. “Thank goodness I am of slender build.”

Isaac met his partners eyes and exhaled a sigh of relief. Nigel’s smiled warmly back at him and in that moment, Isaac wanted nothing but to pick Nigel up and spin him around like the ending scene of Disney movie.

“Get back under there Nigel!” Sas screamed, pulling the couple out of their moment. Isaac is a little sad to see his beloveds face disappear back under the couch, but it’s for the best.

“Sounds like orgy in here?” Thor says walking into the chaotic room with Pete and Alberta.

“Those sexy ladies can see Nigel with a camera, and they have ghost hunting equipment” Trevor explains.

“Not what I expected to hear” Pete said truthfully “but how can I help?”

Ordinarily Isaac would take charge in a situation like this one, and this situation was no different, even if there was far more at stake. He had to be a strong leader, for his troops, and for Nigel.

“Ok troops!” Isaac said gathering as much bravado as he could muster “We need to haunt these sons of bitches out of this room and get Nigel to safety. Here’s the plan…”

Velma couldn’t understand it, one moment the ghost was there and next it was gone. She was nearly certain it was still in the room, the question was where? Velma was also quite certain that when they caught the ghost it would be one of the proprietors in a spooky mask. Looking around the room there was a few places a person could hide. She started with behind the curtains pulling them back in one swift movement.

There was no one there, just the foggy window. Slowly writing started to appear in the fog.

G E T O U T

“Uhhh Velma” Daphne said holding her phone at the window “I don’t see the ghost.”

Velma was confused, how was the writing appearing on the window? “It can’t be, it just can’t.”

A spooky humming filled the room, it was overbearingly creepy, the kind of sound that threatened a slow painful death. Velma searched the room for the source of the music but there was nothing. In fact as she moved the haunting noise seemed to move with her. There must be many, many, hidden speakers, but she couldn’t even find one. She was starting to panic.

“Velma RUN!!!” Daphne screamed grabbing her arm and pulling her out of the room and across the hall. Velma struggled to catch up as her friend pulled her, arm first, into a room down the hall.

“I think we lost it” Daphne said to Velma as the two cowered behind some pot plants that somehow were perfectly shaped to hide their bodies. Daphne slipped her phone in between some of the Ficus plants large leaves, pointing the camera at the doorway.

“We will be able to see the ghost coming” Daphne said, “And this room has a second door we can escape from.”

It was then that Daphne noticed a shadow in the hallway. Daphne and Velma shook like the leaves they were hiding behind as they watched the shadow walk closer and closer until…

“FRED!!!” the ladies shout as Fred appears at the doorway of the room. Velma and Daphne breathe a sigh of relief.

“What are you two doing?” Fred asks, leaning against doorframe.

“Hiding from the ghost” Daphne replies.

“What ghost?” Fred says.

Velma and Daphne, still looking through the phone camera, freeze in horror. For just behind Fred was the red-coat ghost. Velma screamed and gestured wildly before running from the room. Daphne did the same, but not before grabbing Fred by the ascot and pulling him into the adjacent room.

Pete watches as the Scooby Gang run from room to room. Isaac had tasked him to watch and report back when the ghost hunters were away from the main corridor. Unfortunately, the ghost hunters seemed to have called for backup in the form of Fred and taken refuge in the TV room, directly next to the stairs.

“They are in the TV room” Pete yells.

“We got this” Alberta says pointing to herself and then Thor. The two soldiers walked proudly into the room where Thor focused his ghost powers on the lights and TV.

 The sassy jazz singer walks directly into the center of the TV room and says “Alexa, repeat after me.”

On Alberta’s mark Isaac and Nigel made a run for it. They needed to leave the manor and hide out in the forest until the ghost hunters left. Isaac was worried. This was a directed threat against his partner by a group of professional ghost hunters. He had never dealt with a threat like this before.

The couple ran down the stairs, almost running directly into Sam.

“Isaac! Nigel!” Sam said shocked “Ghost hunters are after Nigel, and they can see him!”

“Yes we know” Isaac replied quickly looking back to double check the stairs.

“We are leaving the property for the grounds” Nigel said pulling Isaacs arm towards the front door.

“YOU CAN’T” Sam yelled “They set up an electrified ghost rope running around the house.”

“So we are trapped?” Isaac asks, eyes blown open in terror. Isaac started to freak out, if Nigel can’t leave the manor, it will make it that much easier for the ghost hunters to get him. The ghost hunters can’t get his beloved, it can’t happen.

“If only there was a hidden place we could find refuge” Nigel said thinking aloud.

Isaac met Sam’s eyes in realization, there was a place they could hide.

“The Vault” they said in unison.

“GET OUT” the Alexa in the room blazes. “GET OUT OR YOU WILL PAY!”

Daphne, Fred and Velma huddle together in fear as the Alexa screams threats at them.

“JINKIES” Velma screams as she notices the TV flicker on and off while the lights stutters and the curtains shiver.

“GET OUT” the Alexa bellowed “EVEN YOU, SEXY BLONDE MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE FREDDIE PRINCE JR.”

The ghost hunters all scream in a terrified symphony as they hi-tail it out of the room and bolt down the stairs. Speeding down the stairs the terrified ghost hunters bump into non-other than Shaggy Rodgers. The group collapse in a pile like bowling pins hit by a winning strike. However, their temporary cuddle pile was interrupted by a spooky noise from the top of the stairs. The group scream and struggle to get to their feet.

“Quick into the powder room!” Velma screamed, as the group ran as fast as they could into the small washroom. When the gang was safely inside the small room, Fred immediately shuts the door, using all his might to push against in to ensure no ghost could get in.

“My glasses” Velma said dropping down to the floor in search for her missing spectacles “I can’t find my glasses.”

Velma crouched down and felt around on the floor in the now fuzzy world. She really should invest in a glasses chain, or contact lenses, or lasik. “I found them” Velma said in relief as she put on her key to a clear world. The second she put the glasses on she noticed something.

“Hey guys” Velma said “The dust doesn’t reach this part of the wall. You know that that means.”

“There might be a hidden room here” Daphne said. Velma was proud, her team was really the best.

“Like zoinks. How do we open it?” Shaggy says moving to sit up on the sink and bumping the sconce. The group watched as the door unclicked and opened to reveal a set of stairs.

“Great job Shaggy” Fred says giving Shaggy a fist-bump. “Let’s go team.”

Isaac and Nigel entered the hidden basement space behind the powder room as fast as they could. The second they were down the stairs and out of danger, Isaac pulled Nigel into his arms for a relieved hug. The last 15 minutes had been so stressful and the American couldn’t wait to hold the smaller Brit in his arms again. Words were not needed as the men embraced each other with love and exhaustion.

“So this is the fabled hidden stairwell to the underground vault” Nigel said breaking away from the hug and looking around at the new surroundings.

Given it had taken Sam over 6 months to find this room (not to mention the ghosts that had been here for over 100 years and not found the room) Isaac was sure they would be safe here. After all what were the chances the ghost hunters would go into the powder room and find the hidden switch to open the door.

*click*

Isaac cursed the universe, as he slowly turned to see the door creak open. How did they find them? Where can they go? It’s a dead-end! They are trapped. Isaac turned to look at Nigel who was equally panicked. Isaac grabbed his lovers' hand and pulled him further into the room toward the half-open door of the vault. The two snuck inside and Isaac pushed Nigel behind the half open door.

“Should you close the door?” Nigel asks. Should he? Surely these experts will notice the door move? Could they figure out the combination? Isaac shakes his head and listens to the ghost hunters.

“Jinkies” Isaac hears Velma say, “This vault is made from the same composite alloys as our equipment.”

“Like zoinks you guys” Shaggy says his voice shaky “Maybe we shouldn’t be poking around in here.”

“Don’t worry Shaggy” Fred says his voice growing louder as the group gets closer. Isaac sharpy inhales as Fred pushes open the door and squishes Nigel between the door and the vault wall. Thank-goodness Nigel is so delightfully slender.

“It looks pretty empty Velma” Daphne says as she walks into the vault. The ghost hunters had to leave, if they start looking around, they might find Nigel! Isaac braces himself for what he is about to do.

He steps out into the doorway of the vault and walks directly into Daphne.

“Eww gross” Daphne says waving her hand over her face to no avail “This area must be connected into the sewer line.”

The entire mystery gang gags as the terrible smell wafts around the vault.

“Let’s leave guys” Velma says holding her nose to avoid the smell while the gang leaves the vault and head into the hallway.

“Isaac, you saved me” Nigel says breathlessly as he sneaks out from behind the door. Nigel grabs Isaacs cravat and pulls him into a passionate kiss. Isaac sighs into the kiss and presses Nigel into the wall of the vault to deepen the kiss. The mountains of adrenaline (or whatever it was that made ghosts nervous) finally being put to use for something pleasurable rather than running for their after-lives.

“Oh my that was quite uhhh” Isaac says breaking the kiss and looking down into Nigel’s eyes. Being a ghost had never allowed for against a wall kisses before.

“I apologize Isaac, I should have asked.”

“No! I…I liked it, it’s just not a very romantic setting…” Isaac added omitting that much of the unromantic atmosphere was from his ghost power “Maybe later...”

“Absolutely” Nigel answered quickly smiling at him.

“Shaggy, can you close the vault door” Velma says, “it smells awful in here.”

 Isaac and Nigel barely had time to register the activities of the nearby ghost hunters until the vault door snaps shut. The couple stare at each other in complete disbelief.

“Oh no.”

Flower loved the grounds of Woodstone manor, there is so plant life and butterflies and today there is a dog that can talk to ghosts! Flower had met a lot of animals that could talk, and a lot of animals that could see ghost, but never both at the same time! She was so excited. She wanted to learn all there was about being a dog.

Flower stepped off the porch and paused, because right in front of her was a strange glowing rope and seemed to wrap around the whole house. It looked pretty shiny, Flower reached out to touch it.

“ron’t ro that” Scooby warned, pointing at the rope “it a rhoast hunting rope.”

Flower stepped back, Scooby however stepped forward and reached a paw out to the rope. The great dane glowed yellow and moved erratically before seeming to separate into a dog and a person. Flower knew exactly what was going on.

“Wow Scooby you have a spirit person!” Flower said excitedly, she had seen many people with spirit animals but never an animal with a spirit person. It made sense though right, people are a kind of animal so animals should have a spirit person.

“No Flower” the man in leather lingerie said in a broken breathless manor, “I’m Sandy Down. I’m a ghost bound to Scooby Doo’s collar.”

“Groovy” Flower said “Why are you in dressed like Borat?” she says gesturing to his body. Sandy was scantily clad in only leather underwear with black straps running up his torso. The ensemble was toped up with a leather collar buckled extremely tight around his neck with the initials S.D.

“Oh yeah,” Sandy said huffing and fiddling with the leather straps running down his torso. “I was uhhh having an… intimate moment, and using the collar for some… breath-play and well…”

“Breath-play?” Flower asked confused.

Sandy wheezed “Erotic asphyxiation.” Sandy paused but Flower didn’t seem to understand “A gasper.”

“Oh” Flower finally thought she understood “Isaac is a gasper too. Oh, Isaac is the boyfriend of the red-coat ghost your guys are looking for.”

“Hot” Sandy replies smiling knowingly “Lucky red-coat ghost.”

“WAIT! You have to help us Sandy” Flower said having a moment of lucidity “Red-coat ghost is my friends boyfriend. The Mystery Gang might catch him.”

Flower might be forgetful but she wasn’t stupid and over the next few minutes the two ghosts developed a fool proof plan to prevent the mystery gang from catching Nigel. Minutes later however, Flower forgot this plan.

“So” Flower asked curiously as the two watched the dog dig a hole in the pristine Woodstone grass “How to you repossess Scooby Doo?”

“I just wait for Scooby to accidently electrocute himself” Sandy shrugs as though that event happened frequently. Seconds latter the dog went up to the electric rope and licked it. Instantly Sandy was pulled into the collar and Sandy/Scooby were joined again.

“rets rave the red rhost” Scooby said as he walked with Flower back to the house.

Sam winced as she walked past the hallway. The ghost hunters had dominated the kitchen and setup an elaborate trap with a net hanging from the ceiling just above the kitchen table. On that very table was a freshly baked pepperoni pizza. Only an idiot could possibly fall for something that obvious right. Sam sighed, thinking back to the Oreo cookie that trapped Thor and Flower a few months ago. Her ghosts were idiots, and this trap was a problem. Sam looked around for the ghost hunters, but they were nowhere to be found.

“Sam!” Jay said opening the pantry door. It was then Sam noticed that the door handle had been removed and in its place was the lense of a camera. Her husband popped out of the pantry smiling widely at her.

“Jay” she said pulling him out of the kitchen and into the living room “A pizza Jay! We don’t actually want to trap the ghosts.”

“I know” Jay said, “In the show its always one of the proprietors. I figured any red coat would be enough to say you were the ghost, so wear my red jacket and get caught in the net.”

Sam sighed. “Seriously?” She did a lot for her ghosts.

“Oooo look a rizza” Scooby said walking into the kitchen. The plan was Scooby was going to get himself caught in whatever trap Fred had assembled, giving Flower time to warn the others. Scooby gave Flower a thumbs up before pausing. Behind Flower was a ghost walking towards her. Not a ghost like himself or Flower, but a scary monstrous ghost.

Scooby started gesturing wildly at Flower. “What’s wrong Scooby … ahhhhhh” Flower screamed as the ghostly figure walked through her.

“Daymn that pizza smells good” the ghostly figure said as they paused to sniff the air. The figure ignores Scooby, entirely focused on reaching the tasty snack.

As expected, when the figure reaches the table the net flings down trapping the unsuspecting spector, delivering a mild electric shock.

The ghostly figure yelped “Dude my pizza!” they said in disappointment at the pizza still just out of arms reach.

“Now to see who this red-coat ghost really is” Fred said as the Mystery Gang assembled around the captured figure. The way the ghost appeared right now was a blurry cellophane covered person clearly in a red-coat. The figure thrashed and struggled against the mildly electrified ropes until Fred switched the battery off.

Fred reached down to lift the cellophane mask off the spector, as Sam and Jay walked into the room. As Fred pulled off the mask Sam lets out a huge gasp and the crew exclaimed “Richard Johnson!!!”

“But you left the B&B weeks ago!!!” Jay said surprised.

“Yeah, you guys don’t have the best security” Richard replies unaware that the ghosts did in fact see him sneaking upstairs but assumed he was Nigel.

“But Zoinks you guys, why would Richard call us here to investigate himself?” Shaggy chimes in wisely.

“I can answer that” Velma says, “Richard is starting his own war re-enactment business; ‘FrankNDicks Experience’ and after the embarrassment of the revolutionary war re-enactment at Woodstone, Richard needed and excuse. He couldn’t be responsible for the gun powder barrel exploding or his co-founder pulling his pants down. That’s when he noticed the camera glitch.”

“And so he blamed our ghosts!” Sam said before correcting “I mean… ghosts.”

“Right Sam”, Velma agreed “As a history nerd, Richard knew the myth of the red-coat poltergeist, and got into action to bring us here to give validity to the ghost theory.”

Richard frowned at Velma aggressively “And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”

“The only think I don’t understand is how you did the special effects with the spooky lights, sound echoing and writing in the fog?” Velma asked.

“I didn’t do any of that”, Richard said quickly “I just walked around in cellophane making spooky noises.”

“Now Richard there is no need to lie” Jay said, covering for what he assumed was their ghosts. “There is no shame in being caught by the best mystery investigators in America.”

“I’m a history nerd not a tech geek” Richard claimed, “maybe there is a ghost?”

The mystery gang all rolled their eyes as Sam and Jay chuckled awkwardly.

“Maybe” Scooby says winking.

“Jay” Fred says, getting the attention of the young man as the rest of the crew packed up the mystery machine “As a thanks for helping us set-up the trap and cooking us all delicious meals” Fred reaches inside a bag to pull out a red ascot “I present you with this red ascot from our Mystery Gang official premium merch line. And we all signed it.”

Jay squealed and immediately put on the scarf. Sam had a bad feeling; an ascot signed by the whole crew, Jay was going to wear this every day. Sam would never see the end of that ugly scarf.

“Oh my Jay” Hetty said “You lucky man, now you can look like that hunk.”

Sam, gave Hetty a strange look. Should your great-great-great aunt hit on your husband?

“I simply was talking about the lovely scarf” Hetty defended, but Sam knew it was a lie. “Speaking of scarfs, has anyone seen Isaac?”

Sam looked around, all of ghosts seemed to be here to send off the ghosts hunters. All except Isaac and Nigel… Yeah… They were probably still hiding in the basement.

“Bye Sam, Bye Jay” yelled Velma.

“Thankyou for the hospitality” Daphne added.

“And for the chicken and waffles” Shaggy added “Right Scoob?”

“Reah” Scooby added “Bye Frower.” The dog added waving, not at Sam or Jay, but off to their left.

“Bye Scooby! It was nice meeting you” Flower said waving erratically and jumping in excitement.

“rice, reeting rou too” Scooby replied, before turning to jump into the van.

Sam looked at Flower and then back at Scooby in shock.

“No… it can’t be…it just can’t.”

“Oh Nigel” Issacs sighs as the two exhausted men sit together against the wall of the vault. “That was spectacular. You are so lovely.”

Nigel leans his head on his lovers shoulder and reaches over to take his hand. The two turn to each other smiling. This had been a big step in their relationship, and though it was in an undesirable location (the vault isn’t the nicest of places), it was lovely to not worry about being interrupted or watched.

“I was so nervous about this” Isaac chuckled to himself “but it was for naught, I feel so relaxed, practically boneless.”

“Well…” Nigel replied coyly glancing down to Isaacs crotch “not entirely boneless, it would seem.”

Isaac huffed in embarrassment and Nigel reaches out to touch his face, drawing him in for a sweet kiss but just as their lips were about to meet, the crank to the vault started opening.

“Isaac? Nigel?” Jays voice echoed around the room “Uhh if you are in here, the ghost hunters are gone, you can leave.” Jay paused as a thought popped into his brain. “Oh, I totally realise why Sam didn’t come down here herself. Sorry if I interrupted a private moment, uhh I’ll leave the door a little open.”

Just as quickly as he arrived Jay left. Isaac started to stand, intending to follow Jay out of the vault. Nigel tugged his hand to stop this action. “You know we aren’t required to leave immediately” Nigel said coyly.

Isaac smiled and leaned in for another kiss.