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Gamora can’t sleep. There's absolutely no sound, no enemies, no recent deaths to mourn. Anyone would agree that it’s the perfect time to sleep, at least everyone who’s sleeping in the milano thinks so. Especially Peter, whose arm is currently draped across Gamora’s torso.
She can’t help but stare at him, warmth radiating from her chest as she softly brushes his curly locks. His features look calm, a face Gamora wishes he could have more often. She can hear his soft snores, the trained assassin will never admit the amount of peace the sound makes her feel.
But no matter how calm she feels in the arms of her lover, she still can’t sleep. Her mind can’t stop voicing concerns. Her sister…is she okay? She hasn’t been in contact with her ever since she swore to defeat Thanos. Thanos…that son of the bitch is still out there searching for the soul stone, but if he somehow finds out that Gamora knows the location, he will be out to get her.
She isn’t particularly scared of death, never has been. She just secretly hopes the universe is kind enough to not kill her family, or any innocent person for that matter…If Thanos ever gets to her, she has to ensure her death as a priority to keep the universe alive, to keep her loved ones alive.
Small tears threaten to prickle out of Gamora’s eyes. Who will be there to comfort Groot when he has his nightmares? Will there be anyone to give Rocket his subtle yet needed daily praise? Who will provide Drax with his favorite meal?
How will Mantis deal with the loss of a close friend? What about Nebula? Will her dear sister choose the right path after all this time? And Peter…will he ever know how much she really loves him?
A strong grip on her waist startles her out of her thoughts. She lets out a small gasp as a result. Turning her head to see Peter snuggling closer to her. His head now on her shoulder and his breath softly tickling her collarbone.
“Still awake?” Peter slurred quietly.
Guilt washed over the deadliest woman in the universe as she heard Peter's sluggish voice. Her hand quickly came over to gently caress her boyfriend's cheek.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” Gamora whispers.
“It’s cool, it’s cool.” Peter mumbles, giving Gamora's collarbone a small chaste kiss, “are you okay?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
I just want you to be okay, even if I die.
Peter let out a dramatic gasp, “Of course I will worry over my girlfriend's wellbeing!”
“I am fine. Now be a good captain and go back to sleep.”
Please, I will need you to be at peace.
Gamora felt Peter’s hand swiftly grab her chin, practically forcing her to look into his eyes.
“Those eyes of yours tell me everything I need to know.”, he uses his other hand to brush the locks out of her face, “C’mon, tell me.”
Usually, Gamora wouldn’t cave easily to anyone's requests, the problem was that Peter has a powerful set of puppy eyes.
But even though the puppy's eyes started to weaken her resolve, she refused to cave in, gently pulling Quill’s hand away from her chin.
“I can’t.”
Peter let out a frustrated sigh, “Gamora, tell me.”
“You need to rest up.”
“Fine, I’ll do so after you tell me.”
Gamora let out a small giggle, “you are absolutely insufferable.”
“and I will continue to be insufferable until you tell me what’s on your mind.”
There was a pause, she didn’t want to scare Peter with the idea of her dying. He has lost enough. But she also knew that he would never rest and continue to bother until Gamora opens up to him.
Plus, she knows the idiot needs sleep anyways.
“Well, I was thinking about death.”
Peter’s eyes slightly widen, but he nods in order for Gamora to continue.
“If I…if I ever get killed. I need you to promise me something.”
“Killed? You? ‘Mora, anyone is stupid to even attempt to cross you.”
She remains silent, refusing to look at Peter, hoping that he will catch the hint.
He did.
“Oh.”
Peter cups Gamora’s face like it’s the most fragile thing in the world.
“Hey hey hey…I won’t let that purple bastard ever get through you. Ever. Now, tell me, what was it that you wanted me to promise?”
Tears threaten to spill Gamora once again, at least now he has someone who will wipe them for her.
“To not waste your life away if I ever die. Stick around with the rest of the guardians. And when you are ready, promise me you’ll return to Earth someday.”
The face Peter makes is indescribable, a mix of emotions flashing through his face.
“These are all hypothetical promises, ‘Mora. You are alive right now.” his voice cracks slightly at the delivery of the sentence, but his eyes shone with determination.
“Peter, I….”
I love you so much
She didn’t need to finish her sentence for him to understand, so in response, she kissed him with the most emotion she has ever put into a kiss before. Peter reciprocated the second her
lips captured his.
When they finally break apart, Peter continues to pepper Gamora’s whole face with small chaste kisses.
Gamora places both her hands on Peter’s chest and pushes him lightly so that he can fall back on the bed, causing the man to let out a few giggles in response.
“I do too, y’know?”
It’s true that eyes could speak more than words ever did, because the look on both of their faces was enough to realize the long felt love for one another. Their stares are intimate and an immense proof of devotion.
I would do anything to be with you forever.
“Alright prince charming, it’s late.” Gamora yawns as she herself lays back down on the bed and uses Peter’s chest as a pillow.
“Hey, I'm no pillow!” Peter dramatically states.
The woman just shrugs in response, “It’s not my fault you are so damn comfortable.”
Peter smiles tenderly as he slowly wraps his arms protectively around her.
For the first time ever, Gamora drifted off to sleep first.
Peter couldn’t help but melt at the sight.
Her relaxed features, the rise and fall of her chest, the soft breathing, and her strong grip on Peter’s waist even while she's asleep.
Soon enough, Peter fell fast asleep too, but not before he placed a tiny kiss on her forehead.
………………
_."I bet we were fun"
_."Like you wouldn’t believe it"
Peters' eyes filled with tears as she walked over to her new family…no…her real family.
This isn’t his Gamora, but it is Gamora nonetheless, and he has learned to embrace that, to embrace her.
As Quill secretly hopes that he crosses paths with her again his thoughts get interrupted by a certain blue sister-in-law.
“Are you okay?”
“I…need to have a talk with everyone.”
Nebula slowly nods, “alright…but before that, I have something for you.”
She reaches towards her pocket and pulls out a small neatly folded paper and gently opens Peter’s palm to hand it to him.
“My sister wanted me to give this to you. She said it’s important for you to read it, don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”
Quill stares at Nebula dumbfounded, “What? Why didn’t she give it to me personally though?”
The blue cyborg let out a loud sigh, “She expected you would ask that. Look, she didn’t want to make things more complicated than they already are. Just read it, station yourself in the milano, I'll tell the others to give you some privacy.”
Without a second thought, Peter makes a run for it to the Milano, not before yelling a quick “thank you!” to his cybernetic friend. Gripping the letter in his hand as anxious thoughts started to fill his head.
As Peter takes a seat in his small room in the ship, he takes a deep breath as shaky hands start opening the letter.
Quill,
I entrusted my sister to hand you this letter, I do hope she didn’t take a peak in the process. I’m writing you this letter because facing you about the elephant in the room is not easy, and I doubt it ever will be.
As you know by now, me and Nebula stayed in contact. She told me all the adventures we had, everything about the guardians, and she even showed me pictures. It all felt so surreal and honestly? It felt overwhelming.
You all saw something in that alternative version of me that I no longer have. You all longed to have the “old” Gamora back, but she was never me to begin with, and I’m relieved that you finally understand that.
And although I made it clear that i’m not her, there's a part of her in me, the part that hadn’t met you or any of the guardians yet. When my sister explained how the alternative version of me died, I did feel pity for her.
But I know for a fact her last thoughts weren’t about Thanos, or even about the various lives at stake. Her last thoughts were gratefulness. Yes, you read that right. Gratefulness.
For a long time, she was alone, I don’t think she would’ve imagined that in any future she wouldn’t just have a family who saved the galaxy alongside her, but she also went as far as being with someone romantically.
And while I was with you all, I get it. I see why you wanted Rocket to be saved, I understand that Groot isn’t just introducing himself to me, I see what she saw in you.
Of course, that doesn’t make me the Gamora who was a guardian, or the Gamora you fell in love with. But I know that although she died unfairly and no doubt felt anguish…she also died appreciating that she got to experience such a beautiful thing with every single one of you, and I am more than certain that she wouldn’t change that for the world.
In the alternative Gamora’s behalf, thank you for being there for her, for making her feel safe enough to openly love, thank you for taking care of her, she really did belong with the guardians, she belonged with you.
And while she may not be with you anymore, you still have a whole group of people who have your back, and I hope you don’t take that for granted.
It’s okay to cry, I think it’s a deserved one. But she wouldn’t want you to mope around forever, you are still you. You don’t need anyone else in order to find your own journey.
With regards,
Gamora
PS: I let Nebula know that you can keep in touch with me if you’d like, she’ll pass you my contact if you ask her. But please, don’t be too annoying about it.
PPS: I have no place ordering you around, but I was snooping around your ship and found a bunch of pictures of you as a kid on Earth, maybe you should pay a visit.
The letter was soaked with tears as soon as he finished reading it, his sobs were ugly and loud, the grief he had been avoiding by drowning it in alcohol coming out all in one night. He held the letter close to his chest as he wept, unable to keep it together, not when this reminded him of a particular late-night conversation.
_.“Now, tell me, what was it that you wanted me to promise?”
_.“To not waste your life away if I ever die. Stick around with the rest of the guardians. And when you are ready, promise me you’ll return to Earth someday.”
Peter started to choke on his own sobs, his crying has been going for so long to the point it feels inconsolable, even when a certain group of people entered the ship. His family.
Rocket was the first one to approach him, jumping up on Quill’s lap. That sudden movement didn’t startle him, but grounded Peter instead as he set the letter aside on his small stand and gently reached for Rocket to hold him as he continued to cry.
Drax and Groot followed suit, each one sat on different sides of the bed next to their grieving friend. Drax wrapped an arm around Peter as Groot carefully massaged his friend’s back.
Mantis took Nebula’s hand, overwhelmed by the amount of emotions displayed by everyone, she gripped it back in response.
“You are not alone in this Pete, we miss her too.” Rocket spoke up, his voice raspy and his eyes watery as Groot aggressively nodded along in agreement.
Mantis smiled softly as she continued to hold Nebula’s hand, “Even if she’s gone, she will continue to be a part of us.”
Peter continued to weep, “I love her, I love her so so so much but she’s never coming back…is she?”
“No, she won’t. The hurt won’t leave, but at least the love stays too.” Drax whispers.
“Drax is right,” Nebula sniffled, “for that love to stay, we must keep going.”
They held each other for a long time, Gamora’s death was a grief that all of the members neglected for too long.
But that wasn’t fair for their former guardian, and if it weren’t for ravager Gamora, maybe they wouldn’t have accepted how much they continue to miss her.
Lucky for them, they are done running.