Archive of Our Own

Jesper Fahey had an hour and a half between his last morning class and his first afternoon class. He’d spent thirty of those minutes curled up on his bed playing the newest album from his favourite band for his boyfriend, who sat with Jesper’s head in his lap. 

Wylan knew that Jesper was only stumbling over his words because his afternoon class meant he’d have to write an exam, and he got particularly jittery when it came to standardized testing. Jesper went on and on dissecting each new track that came on, because he’d already listened to it four times but wanted to share it with Wylan.

Then when Wylan gently reminded him he had thirty minutes to get to class so he wouldn’t be late for his exam, Jesper had forgotten about the album completely. He didn’t want to take the test, he couldn’t focus if he tried, there was too much information bouncing around in his head.

Wylan didn’t want to feel bad for Jesper’s cramming and extra study sessions, but he did because he’d only taken a few days off of school to help him get used to some sort of normalcy. Jesper knew he had thirty minutes before his exam, but it only took ten minutes to walk there, so he had maybe fifteen to spare.

Fifteen minutes wasn’t very long, but Jesper had done more with less. He wordlessly slipped between Wylan’s legs and batted his pleading eyes at him. He didn’t have to beg much, just had to whine out that it would ground him and he’d be able to focus if he got Wylan off.

Wylan couldn’t argue with that, didn’t actually want to either. If Jesper was begging to go down on him he wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t want it. He probably didn’t need the whole fifteen minutes, Jesper had a particular skill set optimized to please Wylan.

It had only been about six minutes when the tight heat of his stomach clenched blissfully, Wylan tilting his head back happily. Jesper was equally as happy, working his fingers inside his boyfriend, his mouth around him and his free hand pressed to Wylan’s chest. 

Wylan slid his fingers into Jesper’s hair with one hand, the other clutching at his palm against his chest and leading it to his mouth. This would not be the most optimum time for the bedroom door to open, but that’s what happened anyways.

Cloudy blue eyes flickered over Kaz Brekker returning from class just as Jesper’s fingers pushed onto Wylan’s tongue. Not great, not ideal at all. In fact, a little terrifying, a little mortifying. Wylan had never been walked in on and his boyfriend’s roommate had been the one to do it. Even worse was Kaz and Jesper were still not on speaking terms.

Kaz’s uninterested gaze landed on Wylan’s face, he held eye contact with him for a second too long and then leaned against his desk silently. Did he have to watch? Wylan wished he wasn’t sucking on his boyfriend’s fingers right now, but he was and the logical part of him wasn’t exactly in control right now.

“Jes…?” Wylan whispered, as urgent as he could sound as Jesper, very busy, touched the spot inside him that reflexively made his thighs shake. 

“Mmmfeelsgood?” Jesper took the whisper of his name not as a call for attention but as encouragement to keep doing what he was doing. He couldn’t see Kaz behind them, he didn’t care about anything but Wylan’s shuddering body.

Of course it felt good. Wylan watched Kaz cross his arms over his chest, because he was just going to wait it out and Wylan could not believe either of them right now. He wanted to talk to Kaz but not like this, not with Jesper getting him so close so quickly.

Wylan had to make a choice and he had to make it fast. He just wasn’t built to hold anything back when his boyfriend was so good with his fingers and tongue, God, his stupid fucking tongue. The choices were biting Jesper’s fingers off to conceal any sound he was destined to make, or just making the damn sound. 

Maybe if Wylan just closed his eyes, he could pretend that Kaz wasn’t there, watching him get off. He closed his eyes but he could feel his gaze on him, on Jesper, on both of them, on neither of them? Wylan didn’t know, all he knew was he wasn’t going to rob himself of the wave of pleasure that crashed over him.

Whatever. He made the sound. Jesper loved the sound and Wylan loved him. It was always blurry for a little bit afterwards, eyes fluttering as he relaxed against Jesper’s bed and the arch of his back melted away into the mattress. 

“So pretty for me,” Jesper had cleaned Wylan up before his vision could clear, buttoning his pants quickly. He pressed a kiss to Wylan’s parted mouth and brushed his fingers through his hair. “You gonna be okay? Gotta get to my exam, baby.”

“I’m okay,” Wylan cleared his throat, wiping his mouth not because Jesper had kissed him but because he had probably drooled around his fingers a little. “Good luck on your exam, see you later, honey.” He gently pushed himself up on his elbows and Jesper dutifully kissed him again.

“Can’t wait for later.” Jesper grinned, extremely sunny with the taste of Wylan’s satisfaction on his tongue. “I feel like I can fight God.” 

“And win?” Wylan murmured, warranting another kiss from his boyfriend, who laughed warmly against his mouth.

“What’s God to a guy who just swallowed?” Jesper got to his feet, narrowly avoiding Wylan’s halfhearted swat at his chest. Wylan’s bright red face was always a welcome sight, what wasn’t a welcome sight was Kaz Brekker leaning against his desk, a proper voyeur for the past three or four minutes. “Oh.” Jesper’s mouth flattened into a stiff line. 

The two considered each other like feral alley cats. For weeks they’ve danced circles around each other, all but hissing and puffing their tails up in agitation. Wylan was tired of it, of Kaz and Jesper pretending to hate each other. 

“Your exam, Jes.” Wylan reminded him, managing enough strength in his arms to push himself a little bit higher so he could watch the door open. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Jesper ignored the roll of Kaz’s eyes as the two professed their love for one another, what the hell did his stupid roommate know? The door shut behind him as he left for his exam and Wylan flopped back with a small sigh, his body was not cooperating. 

Kaz unfolded his arms and put his book bag on his desk chair so he could unpack what he needed to study. Wylan blinked stars out of his eyes for a solid two minutes, he didn’t think he could walk right now and he didn’t want to have a conversation until he was physically capable. 

Thankfully Kaz didn’t actually have anything to say about what he’d just watched happen. It was beyond Wylan why he just stood there and didn’t move to leave again or look away. Maybe Kaz was just as stunned as Wylan had been, and it’s not like Kaz was going to be embarrassed about it. 

“Could I ask you something?” Wylan finally managed to get a sentence out and he smoothed out a few wrinkles in his sweater as he laid there.

“I didn’t see anything.” Kaz offered up, like Wylan was going to ask him if he could see him past Jesper’s body, clearly he hadn’t. It was a bit of a relief because Wylan hadn’t planned on exposing himself this way.

“I mean about you and Jes.” Wylan sat up on the bed slowly, his hand subconsciously moving to cradle his stomach lightly. “He won’t tell me what happened.”

“Really?” Kaz’s eyebrow twitched merely because he assumed the whole lovey dovey head over heels boyfriend thing meant Jesper told Wylan every single detail of his life. “You’d trust me to tell the truth?”

“I know Jes well enough to recognize if you’d lie about him to me.” Wylan countered, eyebrows furrowed softly because he hadn’t expected Kaz to turn this into a conversation about trust. “Was it so bad you’d have to lie?”

“It wasn’t so bad.” Kaz mumbled like Jesper Fahey of all people hadn’t been wandering around glaring at him every chance he got. “I’d still lie because it’s fun.”

“Right.” Wylan’s lips pressed into a thin line because lying made his stomach hurt, he didn’t think it was fun in the slightest. “So you won’t tell me?”

“I won’t tell you, Hendriks.” Kaz confirmed that if somebody was going to talk about why they weren’t talking, Jesper would have wanted Wylan to know from him. Right now Kaz was the enemy, and even if Kaz pretended he didn’t care about their relationship he’d like everything to be happy in boyfriendland. 

“I get it.” Wylan held his stomach a little tighter because he didn’t get it and he was lying through his teeth. “We’re going for a picnic at the garden later, I’d like it if you came-” He flushed bright red and Kaz settled into his desk chair, seemingly uninterested in his choice of words. “If you joined us.”

“You’re inviting me to your picnic?” Kaz scratched at his eyebrow, opening his textbook and flipping to the required reading for today. “I don’t think I’m much of a picnic guy.”

“It’s a picnic with all my friends, and you’re my friend.” Wylan was standing his ground both literally and figuratively. He finally was able to get off the bed and not fall right over again. “I want you to come, I mean, I want you to be there.” 

“I have some advice for you,” Kaz leaned against his elbow, the king of unwarranted advice. Wylan steeled himself, because Kaz Brekker could say anything right now and it was better to expect the worst. “You’ve got to be more picky with your friends, I know you were a loser in high school but I don’t have to be your friend, or your boyfriend’s either.” 

Wylan somehow expected worse, though Kaz’s delivery had tugged at something dark in his stomach and made his bright eyes dim a smidge. Something about Kaz Brekker was annoying him, and Wylan hadn’t had the chance to wield it yet.

“How do you know I’m not being your friend because you’re a loser now ?” Wylan countered, picking his backpack off of the ground and slinging it over his shoulder. “I know what you’re doing, people like to think I’m stupid, but I know you’re scared of letting people get too close. And Jesper’s not an accessory or an extension of me, say his name.”

Kaz was both impressed and baffled. So impressed that the whole garden picnic didn’t sound bad afterall. He took a look at Wylan, bright eyed and bushy tailed and thought he could get away with being a dick. This was wrong, incredibly wrong, and Kaz kind of liked being proven wrong. He gave a small smirk.

“Maybe I’ll see you later.”

“Good, I can’t wait.” 

…

“I think we should get sprinkles.” Nina walked through the produce section of the grocery store with Inej’s fingers intertwined with hers. “And those pretty chocolate melts for a drizzle moment.”

“You’re making chocolate dipped strawberries so complicated.” Jesper mumbled, somehow trusted with pushing the shopping cart around. He’d already bumped it into Matthias’ ankles twice but he was a nice guy and didn’t say anything. 

“Well I’m going to make them at work and store them in my work fridge, I think I deserve some creative liberties.” Nina grumbled, sticking her tongue out at Jesper childishly when he tried to hit her with the cart but Wylan drifted over towards the grapes across from them and Jesper maneuvered to avoid running over his boyfriend.  

“Ooh! Cotton candy grapes!” Wylan excitedly chirped, holding up the bag and showing them off to Inej and Matthias who were the only two that stopped to hear him out. 

“That’s not a bad price.” Matthias, ever frugal as a college student away from home for the first time. Wylan waved his hand, his Dad had poured tons of money into his bank account, far too much money for anybody to actually use in a lifetime. 

“Have you seen those candied grapes and strawberries? With the sugar coating?” Inej’s eyes sparkled at the thought of sweet berries and cotton candy anything, and Nina came to a stop to see why Inej had stopped being pulled along. Jesper pushed the cart right into Nina’s ankles and she kicked the cart like the problem had to do with the vehicle and not the driver.

“Tanghulu.” Jesper said suddenly, and Inej turned to face him, a finger pointing at him eagerly because he’d remembered the word she was looking for.

“Neens, do you think you could make tanghulu cotton candy grapes at work?” Wylan asked because Inej seemed excited enough about it and Nina was especially weak when it came to her roommate. She really didn’t ask for much, just small things that brought her joy. 

“I can kiss manager ass.” Nina flipped her hair over her shoulder and smiled warmly at Inej who nearly jumped up and down at the promise of candied grapes. “And if that doesn’t work I can start crying, make up some bullshit excuse about work and school being too much.”

“Manipulation, I like.” Jesper approved and Wylan brushed up against him so he could put the bag of grapes in the upper basket of the cart so they didn’t get squished by anything. “Can I have one?”

“Yeah.” Wylan reached into the bag and grabbed a small bunch of them. “Here you go,” He popped it into Jesper’s waiting mouth and watched him chew. “What do you think?” He began handing out grapes to everybody else and eagerly watched for every reaction.

“Oh, fuck, that’s good.” Jesper mumbled, leaning down to kiss Wylan like he had invented the cotton candy grape. He happily rose on his toes to kiss him back and giggled when he was pulled in so their hips pressed together.

“What are the laws for marrying a grape?” Nina asked, she would be licking her fingers if they were not in a public grocery store and she was not touching everything. 

“I’ll have to check later.” Wylan pulled the cart towards him so Jesper didn’t smack into Matthias’ feet for the third time.

“You know I don’t really like sweets,” Matthias started and four sets of eyes bore into him at the sudden horrifying thought of accidentally inviting him to a picnic full of chocolate and fruits.  “But I always liked cotton candy.”

“So you’re a liar.” Nina raised an eyebrow, nudging into him and then realizing how firm he was and humming appreciatively. “Ooh, how much do you lift?”

“What?” Matthias blinked at her, and then answered simply because he’d been asked. “I don’t know, like 220?”

“That’s two Wylans.” Nina reached over and smacked her best friend in the lower back, he jolted into his boyfriend’s side and she gave a mischievous grin. 

“Why are you flirting with Matty…for me?” Wylan mumbled, leaning into Jesper’s arm lazily slinging around his waist. “And you think I’m 110 pounds?”

“You cannot be more than 110.” Nina put two fingers up in the air and closed an eye so it looked like she was squishing Wylan. “Teeny tiny Wy-bear.”

“Not that we’re counting because it does not matter, but my dad was feeding him three square meals a day plus dessert.” Jesper added, reaching over Wylan’s head for a bag of baby carrots.

“I’m like 110.” Inej looked down at herself and then at Wylan. Only one of them had been a ballerina for their formative years, with a strict routine upheld by an even stricter teacher. 

“Oh, Wylan, I used the last of your passionfruit guava hand soap.” Matthias turned his head when they walked past the hand soap aisle and Wylan gasped, because he had been meaning to buy more but forget.

“Why are you worrying about my man’s hand soap?” Jesper narrowed his eyes at Matthias, mainly because he did not know about the lack of hand soap. 

“Because I live with your man?” Matthias countered without meaning to and Nina spluttered, grinning from ear to ear as Inej put a hand up to her mouth in surprise.

“So you have to intimately know about his soap and then this sudden urge to bench press him? Hello, I am literally his husband.” Jesper was half joking and half furious with their school for matching Wylan up with a roommate as good-looking and good natured as Matthias.

“Nina has the sudden urge for me to bench press your man, I didn’t come up with it.” Matthias watched Jesper watching Wylan scurrying down the soap aisle eagerly inspecting packaging and new scents.

“Oh, so you’re too good to bench press my man?” 

“An urge is not the same as an opportunity.” 

“Next time I wanna try orange blossom soap.” Wylan happily placed his soap into the cart and then was swept up in Jesper’s arms. He was pulled in for what he thought was supposed to be a peck only for Jesper to softly press deeper, and his eyes flew open in alarm because he’d already shown too much in front of a friend today, let alone three more of them. “Oh my God, Jes.” He whispered, gently pushing at his boyfriend’s chest to keep him under control.

“You don’t have to worry,” Matthias reassured Jesper, who he didn’t really realize before now needed to be reassured about anything. Jesper came off as such a sure-of-himself guy. “That much.” Matthias had also learned to be a little funnier and take everything a little less seriously after spending time with the group, and it made Nina throw her head back in loud, hyena-like laughter. 

“Jes, you’re getting destroyed.” Nina snorted out, contentedly watching from over Inej’s shoulder as she wrapped both arms around her roommate from behind.

“I’m gonna go walk up and down the ice cream aisle.” Jesper mumbled, all tensed up like he was about to jump out of his skin. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Wylan’s temple. “Overstimulated myself, like an idiot.”

“You’re not.” Wylan frowned softly, stroking Jesper’s arm until he pulled away and took the cart with him to the frozen section of the store. “He’s been on edge lately, I think whatever’s going on with Kaz is really bothering him. He still won’t tell me about it.”

“Really?” Nina blurted out so loudly that Inej jolted simply because she was so close to her ear. Nina’s hand came up to apologetically pet Inej’s head and then she cleared her throat. “How weird that Jes wouldn’t tell you and how odd that totally only he knows about it. Inej, darling, you’ve been so quiet, you okay?” 

Wylan’s eyes gently narrowed as Nina slung her arm around Inej’s shoulder and began to guide her away so she didn’t have to talk about the thing with Kaz either. Jesper was definitely hiding something, and it was clear he was hurting, but Nina also hiding something? Wylan couldn’t live with everyone being in on it and him being left out. 

“I was just thinking about how fun it is to be friends with you guys, I love just listening to everyone talk. Feels cozy.” Inej said under her breath with a small shrug and Wylan was no longer all tangled up in his friends hiding stuff from him. He leapt forward and offered her a small side hug, smiling warmly when she leaned her head on his shoulder.

“I know just what you mean.” Matthias, who had been making sure Jesper actually made it to the frozen aisle safely, finally looked towards what was the Cerberus of his newly found friend group and chuckled. With the way Inej’s head was resting on Wylan’s shoulder and Nina’s chin settled on Inej’s shoulder his theory was proven. “Everyone’s so fun, how are you so fun?”

“I ignore Jesus.” Nina raised her eyebrows and Matthias smiled at her, because what else did he expect from her? A genuine answer? He supposed she wouldn’t know from how he said it that he felt like the most boring guy alive in comparison to his new friends. “Do you wanna hold everything for us while we go look at cosmetics?”

“Yeah, sure.” Matthias shrugged his shoulders, eyes falling to where Nina’s hand clasped around his. She was warm to the touch and Matthias was acutely aware he must have been so sweaty. Then Nina took Inej’s and Wylan knew the drill, taking Inej’s other hand. 

They were a four person chain, like they’d get lost if somebody let go. It was impossible to be a bad mood when Wylan was leading them down the least crowded aisle, following each other, their hands acting as rope. 

Matthias, maybe too philosophical and too occupied with searching for signs to convince himself what he was going towards was right, took this as a sign. With his hand in Nina’s, and Nina’s in Inej’s and Inej’s in Wylan’s, he thought for the first time he was intertwined in someone’s life. Matthias was woven into somebody’s story and it wasn’t someone he was related to, it wasn’t someone he’d known since birth.

It was a glorious realization for the grocery store, and he was completely snapped out of it when Jesper rounded the corner with the shopping cart and nearly ran over his boyfriend with it.

The entire group screamed mostly because the whole thing had startled them, and then when they realized they’d caused a scene in the grocery store, devolved into various levels of giggling, being absolutely humiliated, and apologizing to people who were nearby. 

Nina immediately began pitching she should climb into the cart and Jesper should push her around, but Jesper was quick to suggest Matthias-benches-220lbs-Helvar pushes her instead. She scowled at Jesper and did not climb in the cart but it sent Matthias spiralling wondering if he’d done something to offend Nina. He thought he would be good at pushing her around in a cart. He might have offered if she didn’t refuse to look in his direction anymore.

…

Wylan tried and failed to not be controlling when the picnic blanket came out. Maybe particular was a better word. He wanted the right amount of sunshine and shade and he didn’t want to be on too steep of a hill but they couldn’t be too close to the creek either. 

Jesper and Matthias scuttled around wherever Wylan directed them. He was biting his tongue pretending he was okay with the placement but he was worried about pebbles or anthills or rose bushes. Eventually Jesper reassured his boyfriend that they could move the blanket any time they wanted to and Wylan sheepishly realized he forgot about that.

Nina and Inej piled the snacks neatly in the center of the blanket, admiring the spread they’d brought. Jesper lowered himself onto the blanket, mostly in the sun and he patted the spot beside him for Wylan.

“I’m gonna go pee before I get comfy,” Nina put her hands on her hips and turned on her heel. “Do you wanna come?” She looked to her roommate to see she was already following her, even if she didn’t have to use the bathroom she’d find something to do at the counter. 

Wylan fidgeted as he watched Nina and Inej disappear around a trellis of Morning Glory flowers and stiffly turned to Matthias who was about to sit down across from Jesper.

“Matty! I need your help!” Wylan watched his boyfriend’s roommate awkwardly stand back up, the three of them ignoring the way his knees creaked like he wasn’t an athletic 19 year old. “The um, the thing in the truck, it’s so heavy.” 

“I can help.” Jesper pouted, maybe a bit sensitive that he hadn’t been asked to carry the heavy thing that definitely existed and wasn’t a lame excuse. 

“Yes, you can, of course you can.” Wylan put his hands out to stop Jesper from crawling to his feet. “But you need to guard our spot, you’re so good at guarding.”

“What’s in the truck?” Matthias’ brows furrowed because it was his truck and he’d taken inventory of everything in it before they got here. There should just be his lacrosse stuff and maybe a pair of shoes. 

“The heavy thing.” Wylan whispered, big blue eyes pleading and Matthias opened his mouth to answer but didn’t know what was the right thing to say. 

“I’ll guard cause you called me good.” Jesper pressed his palms against the grass and leaned back on them, stretching his back with a small sigh. “Don’t tell Neens if I steal a strawberry while waiting.”

“She had like four in the car.” Wylan confessed even though he was supposed to keep it a secret, Nina claimed she was quality checking the strawberries. He also suspected she ate a lot during her shift, if Wylan wasn’t so paranoid he’d do the same thing.

“So what you’re saying is I get four.” Jesper said this as he closed his eyes, fully basking in the sun, and Wylan watched the small sparkle of his nose piercing. He almost felt bad for what was about to happen, almost, because Wylan’s need to fix things slightly overpowered his guilt. “I’ll save you one.”

“Okay, thanks, be good.” Wylan stepped away from their picnic blanket quietly and ushered Matthias over to him urgently since Jesper had not opened his eyes yet. Matthias followed, extremely confused but still cooperative, honestly the perfect man for it. 

Matthias was fully intent on making it back to his truck when Wylan grabbed onto his elbow and used all his weight to yank him behind a bush not 100ft from their blanket. He wished he had been warned because he didn’t fall very gracefully, but was more concerned about accidentally breaking Wylan in half.

Wylan had been anticipating the fall being ugly, so he rolled out of the way, leaves and grass poking out of his hair as he crawled to Matthias bracing himself on his elbows.

“What is happening?” Matthias wouldn’t have guessed in a million years that his roommate would throw him behind a bush but here he was, bruised from a big fall into the turf. “Wylan, are you okay?” He meant emotionally, mentally, because how did Wylan Hendriks have the guts to do this to him? 

“Shhh, shush, sorry, but shush.” Wylan hurried whispered, peeking over the bush to ensure Jesper hadn’t heard the commotion and he sighed in relief to see him inspecting the strawberries for the least obvious one to steal. “Can you put your head down a little? You’re so tall.” He mumbled, reaching over blindly and catching Matthias on the forearm. 

“Wylan.” Matthias took a deep breath, not sure what else to do. He tried to make sense of anything that had happened in the last minute, but came up with nothing.

That was until he looked over the bush and saw the unmistakable frame of Kaz Brekker crossing the garden to find Jesper Fahey, alone on a picnic blanket.

“Oh, Wylan.” Matthias turned to his roommate to see him ducking further behind the bush, burying his head in his hands because of course Wylan was being weird. He had tricked Kaz Brekker and Jesper Fahey into talking to each other, the oldest trick in the book.

…

There were no words to describe just how Jesper was feeling upon seeing Kaz’s face. He was angry and he was disappointed and he was relieved and he was pissed and he was tired and he was in awe. Why the hell would Kaz be at the botanical garden?

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jesper mumbled, because he just had to know. How dare this guy infiltrate his safe space, his friend group, his celebration that Wylan was back at school and healthy and happy. 

“The picnic.” Kaz gritted his teeth together, he’d only made it here because Wylan’s fervor had impressed him, and he let Wylan pull a fast one on him. He had walked right into the simplest trap of all time and he should have figured it out but he was occupied with figuring out what he could possibly say to Jesper.

“Wylan doesn’t want you here.” Jesper sat up straight and crossed his arms over his chest, he wasn’t going to admit that he didn’t want Kaz here, because he thought Wylan’s rejection would hurt more than his. He wanted Kaz to hurt. 

“He invited me.” Kaz helped himself to a corner of the picnic blanket, stretching out his bad knee without so much as blinking at Jesper and he smirked. “He’s very clever, I never expected this from him.”

“You should always expect more from him, he’s always impressing me.” Jesper huffed, offended that whatever it was they were talking about was supposed to be out of Wylan’s skillset. He didn’t know what Kaz meant. “Expected what?” 

“This. You being alone, me finding you here.” Kaz rubbed his knee over his pant leg, and then looked over at Jesper, who was watching him trying to pretend he wasn’t concerned. Kaz pretended not to be fond of Jesper’s skittish gaze when he was caught, pretended not to like the fact Jesper cared but never asked.

“You can leave.” Jesper said this with absolutely no punch and Kaz laughed breathily. They both knew he wasn’t going anywhere, especially not after he’d taken the time to get his leg flat. “If you’re going to be here I need an apology, I can’t be friends with you anymore if you’re gonna keep being shit.”

“I never asked you to be.” Kaz defaulted to the usual, that he didn’t formally seek out friendships and thus he didn’t deserve them. Jesper was calling him out and it felt right to him, that they’d have a clean friendship breakup right now and everything would be fine. If Kaz wanted to never see or hear from Jesper again, why did his chest have that dull ache rising in it? 

“No, but you asked me to help you and I did every time.” Jesper couldn’t count all the trouble he’d gotten into for Kaz. The danger he’d put himself into because he didn’t like the idea of Kaz going in alone, of nobody knowing if Kaz would make it out okay. “Are you aware that asking me to blackmail people is insane?”

“You said yes.” Kaz fought to keep the smile off of his face, he felt like a child thinking about it. That Jesper Fahey would follow him into a room full of shitty college boys and threaten to get them dropped by the school for their behavior. “Does it matter? If we’re taking money from shit people?”

“Of course it matters, everything in the whole world matters.” Jesper raised his hands in a big overdramatic shrug and Kaz smiled. Jesper-everything-matters and Kaz-nothing-matters were sitting alone in the botanical garden on a picnic blanket. “I don’t hear you saying sorry.”

“I’m thinking about it.” Kaz shrugged, small and reserved. Jesper rolled his eyes and the ache in Kaz’s chest tightened painfully, things were so easy with Jesper and nothing had been easy for Kaz since he’d lost his brother. And now here was this jackass, protecting him and following him into the flames of hell because he’d rather them be burned together. “Did you blow up at me because you were mad I figured out Wylan has PTSD before you did?”

Jesper shot him a glare, mouth falling open because of course he wasn’t mad that Wylan was showing signs of PTSD he was fucking mad that Kaz was treating it like it was a game. Like he’d win a prize for being the quickest to throw a dart in the right direction.

“It was because you weren’t taking it seriously,” Jesper rubbed his hand over his face and sighed under his breath. “Even now I don’t feel like you’re being genuine with me. Do you realize that I don’t know jackshit about you?”

“Well, what do you want to know?” Kaz wasn’t a big teller, and people that looked into his eyes long enough without losing their nerve knew there were things he shouldn’t say out loud. “That it takes one to know one?” 

“Can you stop being annoying?” Jesper, who was very self aware that he usually did the annoying, was losing his mind trying to talk things out with his roommate. 

“It’s easy to know what something looks like if you have it.” Kaz pointed at himself and then self consciously looked at the grass, fingers picking at blades of it over and over again. “Not that it’s any of your business, or any of your friends. I’ll stab you.” 

“Yeah, sure.” Jesper scoffed, and then softened, because he’d held Wylan through flashbacks and couldn’t help but wonder if Kaz had anything like that. “I won’t ask, or tell. Thanks for telling me, that’s obviously not what I was trying to get you to confess, by the way.”

“Obviously.” Kaz knew he did the hiding thing well, that Jesper wouldn’t have been able to dig it up if he didn’t want to tell him. “I’m sorry for being a dick when you wanted me to be there for you, I can’t do that for you. I’m not built for it.”

“I think that’s bullshit, not the apology, it means a lot, I meant the last part.” Jesper was rambling a little bit and he needed to stand up and start pacing or jump into the water and start doing laps. He needed Wylan’s hand to hold or Wylan’s earring to touch, where the hell was Wylan? Why did he leave him alone with Kaz Brekker? 

“Anything else you’re mad at me about?” Kaz didn’t necessarily harbor any bad feelings towards Jesper over what happened at the hospital, he thought it was completely justified. If somebody had acted the way he did to Jesper he might have killed a man, and maybe that was the problem. That Jesper could hold back and Kaz felt completely consumed by every emotion he’d ever felt so it was easier to shut it off. 

“You were so shit to Nina.” Jesper even held back a glare, because he could hear Kaz’s taunts as clear as day in his mind he figured Kaz didn’t remember what he said. “Didn’t realize you were some prudish slutshamer.”

“That’s not why I said what I said.” Kaz raised an eyebrow, the issue had never been Nina pursuing Matthias, it had always been Kaz being irritated that it came so easy to her. “If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you, but it’s not like that.”

“And I guess I’ll just have to keep vouching for you, right?” Jesper popped the box of strawberries open and shoved one in his mouth, pushing the box towards Kaz who eyed them hesitantly. “Cause I will, I’m all forgiving and doglike."

“You will.” Kaz nodded absently, grabbing a strawberry out of the box so Jesper didn’t view his reluctance as rejection and Jesper visibly relaxed. “How come you’ve never asked about my leg?”

“None of my business.” This usually never stopped Jesper from asking loads of questions but he usually could feel out boundaries relatively quickly, and Kaz’s boundaries were reinforced iron walls. If they were crossed Kaz would waste no time teaching somebody a lesson. 

“Well, I tried to kill myself.” Kaz hadn’t said this out loud because he never had anybody to talk to about it. At least not anymore. His last somebody had been successful well before his attempt. “That’s why I don’t tell you stuff, Fahey, it’s all a burning pile of shit.”

“I hate when you talk about yourself like that,” Jesper had been guilty of self-deprecation as a high schooler but he’d grown out of it with the help of Wylan and Catherine, his old therapist. “You can’t minimize shit like that, you’re not coping, I used to think I was, but it was just making me miserable.”

“I’m a miserable kinda guy.” Kaz looked over Jesper very slowly, watching the sun warming up the skin of his face and he sniffed, noncommittal. “Misery doesn’t suit you.”

“Not sure what that means but it sounded like a hell of a compliment.” Jesper had to shut the strawberry box because he was just eating because he felt the need to do something with his hands. God, he really wished Wylan hadn’t left him to have this conversation alone. “I’m sorry for losing my temper, and I’m sorry for avoiding you, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t open up to me and I’m also sorry for getting Wylan off in front of you. I swear to God I did not see you.” 

“I know you didn’t, you’re a possessive son of a bitch.” Kaz snorted, amused by his own joke but even more pleased by Jesper grinning. Order was restored in the world, they were swearing at each other again and it was all in good fun. God, it was fun. Kaz Brekker was having fun. “You know I only showed up because Wylan called me a loser.”

“Did he? God, I love him.” Jesper laughed happily and then flopped onto his back, folding his hands over his stomach. “By the way, stop saying they’re only my friends, we’re all friends. Whether you like it or not we’re friends, the six of us.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m stuck with you guys.” Kaz grasped at a few blades of grass and looked at Jesper. He said they were friends but he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was just like his somebody, just like his brother. 

…

Nina had been quick to use the bathroom but the two roommates lingered around the counter, looking at themselves in the mirror and sharing lip tints. As Inej passed the applicator over her bottom lip a few times, Nina combed her fingers through her curled hair and met Inej’s eyes in the mirror.

“So does he give you vibes of not being interested or vibes of independent women intimidating him?” Nina hadn’t been able to stop whispering about Matthias to Inej, and Inej was doing her best to offer relationship advice. It had been a long time since Inej’s last healthy relationship and at this point her relationship with her body and soul was more important to her.

“Honestly, I don’t see either of those.” Inej admitted, turning so she was facing Nina and tucking a piece of hair behind her ear lightly. “I’m getting vibes of Matthias just not being ready.”

“Do you think so?” Nina breathed a sigh of relief because this was so much better than him not liking her, it’s not like she asked or confessed or anything. It was just her stealing glances and teasing him and thinking about him all the time and teasing him some more. 

She could wait for him but she could also recover from rejection, but it would be easier to wait than get over him. Nina didn’t even know if it was anything other than infatuation, but she wanted so badly to explore it with him. But it just didn’t seem like he wanted to.

“I think so, but it’s all just us thinking.” Inej reminded her roommate that they were just theorizing about Matthias and hadn’t asked him and Nina hadn’t made a move either. At this point they were definitely friends and Nina didn’t know if that was good or bad if she wanted to pursue him in the near future. 

“Do you think I’m a bad friend?” Nina had been wanting to ask this since their wait in the hospital but couldn’t gather the courage. She wondered if she was worried Inej would say yes. As if Inej was not kind and gentle, she was also truthful and loyal to her morals. 

“Where did this come from?” Inej pushed her lip tint into the purse hanging from her shoulder and cupped Nina’s face softly in her hands. “How could you ever be a bad friend? To me? You’ve been my first real girl friend, I’ve never had a friendship as pure as ours.”

“Oh, Nej, I’ll cry.” Nina tilted her head up insistently because she was wearing her nice eyelashes and her nice foundation and they were both expensive. Inej gathered a tissue from her purse and dabbed at her roommate’s under eyes, saving her soft glam look for the picnic. “Yes, to you, and to Wy. I think I’m the worst best friend in the world.”

“What happened with Wylan?” Inej frowned softly, gently pressing her fingertips into Nina’s makeup to melt it back into place for her. She didn’t know anything happened with Wylan since he’d only been back a few days, unless a call or text had gone sideways.

“Well, I feel boy-obsessed, like when you forget about your best friend for the boy you like.” Nina explained, holding back tears because it really had been upsetting her but she was avoiding it. “But I’d give up Matthias for Wylan’s friendship, he means that much to me.”

“Nina, you know Wylan would never make you choose, he’s not that type of person.” Inej softly clicked her tongue at her roommate, not condescending or scolding but mimicking the way her mother used to gently assure her nothing was wrong. “Why would you need to pick either one? We all get along just fine.”

“I knoooow he’s so good to me,” Nina let a few fat tears run down her cheeks and Inej hurriedly patted them dry with her tissues. “He’s my best friend and he’s gone through a huge thing and I’ve been spending my time trying to get with a ex-conservative white boy.”

“You’ll cry off all your eyeliner,” Inej hoped this was incentive enough to stop crying, Nina was very serious about her winged liner. It worked a little bit, but she was still teary eyed. “Maybe, just maybe, it’s been tough for you to imagine Wylan in pain that you’ve been distracting yourself? What better distraction than a project like fixing a boy?” 

“That’s a big maybe.” Nina leaned forward and rested her cheek against Inej’s shoulder, letting out a big miserable exhale. “I think you’re right, I get so shaky when I think about Wylan getting hurt, that’s my Wy-bear I don’t care how cringey that sounds.”

“Since when is loving your friends cringey?” Inej brushed some of Nina’s wispy face framing fringe away from her eyes and held her head softly to her shoulder to mimic being cradled. “It’s never going to be easy, facing something like someone you love suffering, but you’re going to have to. So you can be there with him.”

“I think you should have an advice podcast.” Nina pulled away from her roommate’s comforting touch and gently rubbed the makeup that transferred from her cheek to her shoulder. “Sorry, I got Fenty on you.” 

“I could never complain about that,” Inej looked in the mirror to see Nina’s highlight had rubbed onto her shoulder and so now she was shining in the light too. “I also think maybe you’re in your head about Matty, that you’re rushing yourself because you’re used to people being immediately into you.”

“I mean look at me.” Nina batted her pretty eyelashes, hoping that Inej ignored how red her eyes were and how stuffed her nose felt. Inej picked a small piece of tissue off her cheek and Nina smiled at her. “Well, why isn’t he into me? Is it the whole Christianity thing? Christians can date.” 

“Mmm, Nina, my beloved, they don’t usually date witches.” Inej’s eyebrows furrowed apologetically and it had completely slipped Nina’s mind. Nina was not in the business of changing herself or dimming herself down for somebody she wanted to kiss. 

“So you think it’s an anti-paganism thing?” Nina slipped her arm around Inej’s and did one last fluff of her hair before making her way to the door. “That makes me feel better, that I’m not undesirable or don’t turn heads, I'm just devoted to Lady Aphrodite.”

“You are so desirable and turn my head every time you enter the room, if that means anything.” Inej held the bathroom door open for her roommate and Nina grinned, all cried out and done feeling sorry for herself.

“It means the world.” Nina kissed Inej’s hair and she flushed, there was no way one could deny Nina’s beauty and effect on people. “Do you want to bet that they ate all the strawberries without us?” 

“I would bet my life savings that Jes did it by himself.” Inej beamed when Nina laughed, it felt like such a reward to make someone as pretty as Nina laugh. Inej didn’t think of herself as particularly funny, but Nina always had an easy smile and laugh when they were around each other. 

“That greedy bastard.” Nina huffed, scooping up a fallen Magnolia blossom from the grass and tucking it behind Inej’s ear. “I had to pick up two extra shifts to convince my manager to let me make them.”

“Maybe I should apply for the cafe and you can use those shifts to train me.”

“Oh, darling Inej, do not tempt my heart.”

…

Wylan and Matthias eavesdropped for a few minutes before the conversation got too quiet to hear and then they were sitting in silence in a bush. Matthias glanced over at Wylan to see his eyes darting around the ground, like he was looking for something.

Matthias reached over and began picking bits of leaves out of his roommate’s hair, making him flush bright red and rush to bat it all out of his curls.

“I know this is so overdue but I really wanted to apologize for everything that I put you through, with my father’s visit in our room and inconveniencing you and making a mess. Everything. I wanted to say sorry.” Wylan blurted out the words hurriedly and it was clear he had practiced this and that he was looking for the words on the ground just seconds ago.

Matthias stared blankly at Wylan, he had no idea what to say. None of these things had been his roommate’s fault and they hadn’t even been in his control. Things had just happened to Wylan and Matthias happened to be there, he was so grateful he was there.

“You don’t need to be sorry for anything, none of those things were done by you.” Matthias grabbed one last thing from Wylan’s hair, a petal. Wylan cleared his throat and then wiped his sweaty hands against the legs of his pants. 

“I threw up on you, that was very much a thing that was done by me. I can’t even imagine it, I get so sick thinking about it. I’m so fucking sorry.” Wylan had been thinking about it too much, because he couldn’t live it down. He felt like he owed something to his roommate but what on earth could he do that conveyed the message that he was sorry for vomiting on him? 

“Wylan, I was there and you were not in control of your body when you did it.” Matthias didn’t want to scare him but he remembered every second of what happened. He remembered the light draining from his eyes and the way his body shook, he remembered how fragile Wylan looked. “I promise you it’s completely okay, I know how scary that is for you and I’m really glad I was there to help you.”

“You did help me, so much, thank you.” Wylan was still beyond embarrassed, it was so much different having his roommate take care of him compared to his boyfriend. Jesper had seen every single side of him and Matthias had been holding him at arm’s length to give him some space since they’d first met. “It was really scary, but it couldn’t have been much better for you.”

“It was scary for both of us,” Matthias gently draped an arm around Wylan’s shoulder and gave his arm a friendly little squeeze. “But you’re doing better now and I know how to help you if you need it again. I’m all yours this year, just across our little room.”

“Yeah.” Wylan had that sort of happiness that was impossible to contain, he wiggled to get some of it out and ended up perking up on his knees. He leaned towards his roommate and gave him a small, appreciative kiss on the cheek and Matthias blushed even darker than Wylan.

“Wylan Hendriks! I cannot compete with you!” Nina screeched as soon as she was in eyeshot of Matthias and Wylan crouched behind a bush and Jesper and Kaz eavesdropping on them on the other side of it.

“Baby, if you need me to bench 220 and catch your vomit I will. I can compete with Matthias.” Jesper called over the leaves, he shoved the box of chocolate dipped strawberries over to Kaz so he would get blamed for how many they’d eaten and Kaz grinned. 

“What do you mean by compete?” Matthias mumbled, hand gently pressed to his cheek where he’d been kissed, like he was still in complete shock. 

“Like for your attention, like I cannot compete with Wylan courting you since he’s so sweet and pretty and has a slutty little waist.” Nina stomped over to the two of them and jammed her finger into Wylan’s side, making him scream in terror, flopping half into the bush and half into Matthias’ lap.

“Okay, nope, it’s not funny anymore,” Jesper leapt to his feet, trudging through an unlucky bush to grab Wylan and heft him into his arms neatly. “Have you no honor, Helvar? This is my husband.” 

“I’m sorry,” Matthias breathed out like he had forced Wylan to kiss him or forced Nina to poke him so hard he fell on top of him. “And I’m sorry,” He turned to Nina with a scrunched up, confused expression. “What do you mean for my attention?”

“Mystery fourth option, he didn’t know you were interested in him.” Inej gently patted Nina on the back and Nina felt simultaneously good and bad about it. How the hell had Matthias not picked up on it? She was touching him and complimenting him and flirting with him all damn day. But oh, was it good to not be rejected.

“I’m sorry?” Matthias looked like his head was going to explode, he leaned too far back and a branch stabbed at his back, making him jolt in surprise. “You’re interested in me? In me? Me? You and me?” 

“Ok. Elaborate big guy.” Nina offered her hands to Matthias and pulled him to his feet and walked him over to the picnic blanket.

Wylan had finally sat down where Jesper wanted him to, smoothing his hand over Wylan’s hip, and stomach as casually as he could make his possessiveness look. Inej waited for Nina to plop down beside Wylan before sitting across from her, all eyes on Matthias who looked like was solving one of life’s greatest questions in his head as he sat down beside Nina. 

“I can’t figure out what you mean. Why would you be interested in me?” Matthias admitted he didn’t think he’d done anything to warrant any attention from any of his friends, yet they had all chosen him. 

“Are you humble or insecure?” Nina couldn’t figure it out, because Matthias was incredibly handsome and an even better friend and he was doing such a good job at figuring himself out practically all by himself. 

“The latter?” Matthias guessed he was insecure because there was nothing to be humble about, to him he genuinely believed he was just some guy. And Nina was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, and she was so alluring and could have anybody she set her sights on and picked some random religiously traumatized dude from a small all-white town. 

“This would make for great television.” Kaz always found himself amused, he was very glad he let himself be threatened into coming to the picnic. He had abandoned the strawberries when Nina’s hand shot for them like a bear fishing. Instead he was eating baby carrots and Wylan joined him, offering one to Jesper so he would join them as well. 

“Do you need some privacy?” Inej asked softly, but deep down she knew the only way they’d get it was if Nina and Matthias left. Kaz was stretched out lazily, a cat in a sunspot, Wylan was leaning his full weight against Jesper, and Jesper hand splayed over Wylan’s stomach, thumb stroking the material of his shirt. 

“I don’t think so, because everybody knows I’ve been flirting with you for months. Everybody but you. Kaz even called me a sexual vagrant for finding comfort in you when Wylan was dying.” Nina murmured, giving Kaz a small, insincere smile and he knew he deserved it.

“You what?” Wylan, with an unusual, unrecognizable edge to his voice cut through the silence following Nina’s words and she reached over to pat his knee.

“I paraphrased, but he was totally thinking it. That I’m trashy for needing a hug from Matty to feel better about the hospital visit.” Nina was not above tattling on Kaz Brekker, she actually encouraged it. Everything was worth it if it made Wylan, of all people, bare his teeth and threaten to bite Kaz with them.

“Why does everybody think I care who you sleep with and when you do it?” Kaz scoffed, attempting to make accusing eyes at Jesper for coordinating the attack against him but Wylan’s unfriendly gaze froze himself instead. It continued to be impressive that the most unsuspecting member of the friend group might actually be the only genuinely frightening one. 

“Is that why you two fought? You were hiding this from me? Both of you?” Wylan tried to squirm from Jesper’s grip because he was in the process of getting mad at him but Jesper’s mouth was faster, pressing apologetic kisses over his boyfriend’s neck as a peace offering. 

“Firstly, there was more to it than that, and secondly, you are being so hot right now I just wanna let you know I might have to unpack that in therapy.” Jesper murmured against his warm skin and Wylan huffed, falling back into his boyfriend’s arms in a big slump. 

“I’m sorry, Nina, I was being a dick.” Kaz said and the five others exchanged glances a few hundred times to ensure they had all heard it. How was it that Kaz Brekker, rat bastard, was apologizing and they were all there to witness it? It was so odd that everybody had been wiped clean of any other emotion and they were all sat puzzled by it.

“So is this like a test where you’re a cloned version of Kaz and we have to like…kill you to prove we’re real friends?” Nina narrowed her eyes suspiciously, looking for where alien or robot Kaz would have any non-human tells.

“I’d like to see you fucking try.” Kaz snorted, everybody breathed a sigh of relief. This was more like it. None of that vulnerability and admitting wrongness. It felt strange, like their group had twisted out of shape.

“What proves we’re real friends?” Wylan, who hadn’t had friends other than Jesper a few months ago, was being genuine, and Nina smiled at him.

“The thing that ties the six of us together? Probably that we all disappoint our parents sooo much, minus Inej. Parent disappointers and Inej.” Nina opened up a tub of watermelon and popped a small cube of it into her mouth.

"Maybe it’s six people who would have no friends otherwise.” Jesper knew they had acquaintances other than each other but if they needed real support, well they were all sitting on the picnic blanket right now, right here together.

“Six traumatized freaks?” Kaz decided to play the damn game, and Nina pointed her finger at him in concurrence. It was a good guess. 

“Six lost people who needed finding.” Inej’s guess was of course lovely and Nina got on all fours to hover over the blanket and clasp hands with her. Matthias had to decidedly look away from her as she did so, because he hadn’t ever looked at her in any other way than a friend but finding out he'd misinterpreted flirting as friendliness had completely rewired his brain. 

“Six people trying to get better.” Wylan offered and Jesper nuzzled into his neck softly, reaching for a piece of watermelon and offering it to his boyfriend first. He ate half of it as neatly as he could and then Jesper popped the rest into his mouth.

“Five people who like Wylan.” Nina said and there was nobody who disagreed, even when Wylan scoffed to try and fight the allegations that he was the friend group favourite. “Sweetheart, you are the glue. Nobody would be here if not for your sweet little face.”

“I am not the glue friend.” Wylan pressed his lips together in a tight line and looked for support and found none. “Oh my God, am I the glue friend?” He’d never had a friend group before and now he was the person keeping it together. “Why does that make me so happy but also so anxious? I feel kinda panicky.” 

“No anxious, no panicky.” Jesper’s eyebrows furrowed and he reached for the metal thermos that Nina had filled with smuggled dragonfruit lemonade from work. He pushed the cold metal to Wylan’s neck and Wylan practically screamed at how shocking it was, but it did immediately ground him. 

“Noted. Polar dip Wylan if triggered.” Kaz gave a nod and Nina rolled her eyes. She wanted to reach over Matthias’s lap and choke Kaz but Matthias jolted when she so much as turned her head towards him.

Great, so now Matthias couldn’t relax around her. Usually Nina welcomed this, when she was trying to have a good night and never have to see them again, but this was somebody in her established, every day friend group. Her real friends. Had she messed it all up?

Wylan pushed the thermos against her bare thigh and Nina gasped sharply, eyes focusing on Wylan’s cheeky little smirk. 

“Evil.” Nina scolded him and Wylan softly tilted his head, because apparently everybody liked him evil, his boyfriend found him hot when he was evil. He’d make it work. 

“Sorry to bother, could I actually have a glass of that?” Inej had been silently tracking the thermos with her gaze as it got passed around and used as a tool. She was quite parched but too polite to mention it. 

All at once five hands shot out to grab the thermos and Inej held her own to her chest, surprised but very flattered. Her eyes darted over Kaz’s face because he had reached for it too, she hadn’t expected him to, and he was hiding that he had, but she saw it. She always saw it, saw him.  

“M’lady.” Nina opened up the metal bottle and poured it into the cap, handing it to Inej dutifully. “Maybe we’re five people that like Inej.”

Nobody disputed that claim too. 

“Five people that like Jesper?” Jesper knew he was playing himself but he just wanted to give it a shot.

“Absolutely not.” Nina shook her head so strongly her necklace and earrings made noise. 

“I could do without you too.” Kaz agreed with Nina and she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. She didn’t know if she could make an anti-Jesper alliance with somebody like Kaz Brekker. But it certainly was tempting. 

“Damn.” Jesper sucked in a breath, disappointed but not surprised and Wylan sat up so he could cup his face in both hands.

“One person that loves Jesper.” Wylan whispered, he didn’t give a damn who was watching and he didn’t care if they rolled their eyes at him. He leaned in to kiss his boyfriend and Jesper couldn’t help but grin against his lips. If he could he’d be giggling and kicking his feet. Wylan loved him, which he knew but every time he thought about it he was so giddy. 

“Exhibitionists.” Nina pretended to be grossed out, like she had not done worse than kiss somebody in public. 

“Funny thing about that…” Kaz started because he wanted to test the waters, and Jesper tucked Wylan against his chest, heart leaping out of it.

“You better shut the fuck up or we are not friends.” Jesper threatened and Wylan wondered if it was suspicious that he was bright red and hiding in Jesper’s chest right now. That they’d only be safe if his friends weren’t smart enough to put two and two together.

“There’s no way you’re actually interested in me.” Matthias said after what felt like years of staying out of the conversation and Nina whipped her head around to stare at him in awe. For several silent minutes he’d been lamenting over Nina’s interest in him and ruled it too good to be true.

She should be flattered, if it was anybody other than Nina they might have been, but it was Nina. And Nina found it frustrating and she knew she’d have to work extra hard for this. She didn’t typically go for people who scare easily, and now Matthias couldn’t look in her general direction. Perfect.

“This is going to be a fun chapter in our lives.” Kaz was completely agonized thinking about having to watch Nina flirt and Matthias forget how to walk when he so much as smelled her perfume. He was kind of over it. 

Cool metal brushed his fingers and he looked down to see Inej had passed him the bottle of lemonade. Maybe she just thought he would have wanted something cold to drink. Or maybe she’d seen that he was having difficulty with the lump in his throat. She was watching him. He wondered if she could feel him watching her.

“I have a weird idea but it’s just something I was thinking about, ignore me if it’s stupid,” Jesper began and it convinced absolutely nobody that it was a random idea that meant nothing to him. “But you know we’ll all move out of the dorms for the summer and then 2nd year comes and we get new roommates. So what if we just didn’t stay in the dorms and got a place together and stuff? Is that stupid?”

“How long have you been thinking about it?” Wylan brushed a hand over the back of Jesper’s neck and he burned at the delicate attention from his boyfriend.

“Not that long. Few weeks at most.” Jesper had been thinking about having a proper support system and all his friends came to mind. If they all lived together they’d all be so close, literally and figuratively. 

“That’s kinda cute.” Nina admitted even though she loathed agreeing with Jesper. “As long as I still get to live with my darling Nej then I’m happy.” 

“I’ll go where Nina goes.” Inej gave her roommate a warm smile and Nina melted, grabbing her hands across the blanket again. 

“Then I’d assume you’d share a room and…” Matthias hated to be that guy but he didn’t know if he could stomach rooming with Kaz Brekker. 

“Get me a basement, an attic. I do not want to live with you people, but, splitting rent six ways, it’ll be more cost efficient than housing here.” Kaz grumbled about the benefits of having roommates instead of admitting he’d like to live with his friends. Of course he convinced himself he didn’t like them but that they were convenient and that he tolerated them. 

“And they were roommates…” Nina whispered, already daydreaming about all her friends under one roof. Thinking about every meal with the people she loved made her so incredibly happy.

“Oh my God, they were roommates.” Wylan whispered back, laughing when Nina fully launched herself at him and laid on his lap. Her feet tucked their way onto Matthias’ lap and he stayed completely still, like he really was a footstool rather than a hulking lacrosse player. 

“You better have this shit figured out before moving day though.” Kaz scoffed, like he was one to talk, still reeling from being offered dragonfruit lemonade. 

“We get it, you’re bitter, nobody cares.” Nina waved him off and sighed happily when Wylan began stroking his fingers through her long brown hair. 

“I have so much to tell my parents on tonight’s FaceTime.” Inej sighed excitedly and smiles lit up over everyone’s face. Soon they’d all have so much to tell the important people in their lives. 

It had been just months since they’d met and their lives had been changed. This type of friendship, bound by love, by shared experience, by shared hopelessness and hopefulness, this was friendship that could not be broken. 

They tried, but somehow they’d make it out the other side closer than before. They could pretend they didn’t want to be together all they wanted, they’d find their ways to each other no matter what. 

Maybe they could be a cluster of six stars intricately intertwined by gravity, that’s what it felt like anyways. A multiple star system refusing to let go of one another, keeping each other close, and lighting the sky up brighter because of it.