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Bo-Katan grimaced slightly as she took another sip of the wine. Damn, this stuff was strong.
She picked up the bottle from the small table next to her and glanced at the label. A sweet yet strong wine made on Corellia. She tried to remember where she got this bottle from. Corellian wine was popular with smugglers, and Koska knew a guy she usually bought all kinds of stuff from after a successful mission. She set the bottle down and took another swig from her glass.
She leaned back in the pilot seat of her ship, glancing out onto the lake. Her ship was parked right outside the cave that currently housed the Mandalorian covert. Here she was, drinking alone in her ship, watching as the sun dipped closer and closer to the lake. Was it sort of sad that she was drinking alone on her ship? Yeah, she guessed. But honestly, after the past couple days she had, she was happy that she was only half a bottle in. In the span of about a week, Bo-Katan had seen the mythosaur, watched her home on Kalevala get blown to bits, accidentally joined a cult, and just today saved a foundling from a dragon-like creature.
She took another drink. She had seen the mythosaur. The symbol of her people. A mythical creature. A legend that wasn’t real. The mythosaur was a made up part of her culture’s history. Dragons were legends to some other cultures, yet she had fought a dragon today. She had seen a mythosaur. It was real. She tried to ponder what that meant.
Even more importantly, she wondered what it meant that she told the Armorer, a woman she barely knew, about her discovery. She needed to tell someone, and Din, while a good friend, didn’t seem like the best choice. Instead, she told a stranger. A stranger who let her join her Mandalorian cult. A stranger she felt like she trusted, for some reason. The Armorer was kind during their conversation, but Bo got the feeling the other woman didn’t believe her.
Laughing, she took another sip of her wine. Things like this could only happen to her. She kicked her feet up onto her ship’s control board and leaned back in the pilot’s chair. Her thoughts turned to the moment she came to join the Children of the Watch. All she had wanted to do was make sure Din and the kid got back to his people safely. He was pretty beaten up after getting captured, and nearly drowning didn’t help. So, she had escorted him back. He was redeemed by his leader, and then so was she.
Just like that, her mind wandered yet again to that mysterious leader. The Armorer. She had to have a motive behind letting her join their little commune. Bo-Katan was a trader to them. Someone who regularly took off her helmet. The woman who lost Mandalore. She took another drink.
Any possible motives for letting Bo join the covert eluded her. She barely knew the blacksmith. They had only spoken a couple of times, yet the woman crossed her mind more than she cared to admit. The woman radiated power and confidence, which she admired. She was a complete mystery to Bo-Katan.
She glanced back out her ship’s window. Despite being infested with gigantic monsters, this planet held a harsh beauty. The steep cliffs, the sandy dunes, the sun inching closer and closer to the edge of the lake.
A knock reverberated along the metal interior of her ship, pulling her out of her thoughts. She wasn’t expecting anyone. She set her glass on the little table beside her, then spun her chair to face the door. It must be Din, she thought as she made her way to the ship’s hatch. She pressed the button to lower the ramp.
Fuck, she wasn’t wearing her helmet. She was in a cult now, she needed her helmet. The warrior bounded across the ship, grabbed her helmet from the table, and pulled it onto her head just as the ramp was hitting the ground.
She hurried back across the ship to see who it was, grateful the person hadn’t seen her. Although, the tipsy part of her thought it would be kind of hilarious to be tossed out of the Children of the Watch about as quickly as she had joined them. Very fitting for her.
She made her way to the bottom of the ramp. The remaining evening sunlight gleamed off a golden helm. Out of all the people Bo-Katan expected to knock on her ship, the Armorer was not one of them.
“Greetings, Lady Bo-Katan of Clan Kryze.”
There was that voice. Stern, strong, commanding. A voice that could move mountains.
“Ugh, hi.” Bo-Katan managed to respond.
“Hi.” The Armorer said, tilting her head to the side slightly. “I was hoping to speak with you, if you’re not busy.”
“Oh, yeah. Would you like to come in?” The nite owl answered, confused as to why the Armorer would need to speak with her. It’s not like she was important around here.
“Yes. Thank you.” The Armorer replied. She then proceeded to walk right into the ship.
Bo watched her walk past, feeling a bit dazed. The Armorer was on her ship, and Bo was a bit tipsy. Surely nothing good could come from this situation.
After a brief pause, she followed the Armorer aboard. The other woman stood, glancing around the interior of Bo’s ship. It was messy, her sleeping cot was down, and her weapons and the outer pieces of her armor were haphazardly laid around the room. Not a great look for the leader of the covert to see.
“Would you like to sit down?” Bo offered, hoping the Armorer wasn’t judging her living situation too harshly. She walked over to the co-pilot’s chair, and spun it around so it was somewhat turned toward the pilot chair.
“Thank you” With that, the Armorer sat down.
Bo-Katan sank into the chair next to her. She had to get it together. She was a warrior, a leader, and so far the only thing she’s managed to do was embarrass herself and bumble over her words. She blamed the wine. Why else would she be so nervous?
A moment passed, then the Armorer turned her head. Bo could feel the other woman's eyes bore into her own. The thought of what they might look like crossed her mind. The Armorer began to speak. Bo-Katan straightened in her chair.
“I wanted to thank you for everything you did for Ragnar today. It was very admirable of you to risk your life for a member of our clan, despite only being with us for such a short time.”
Well, Bo certainly didn’t expect that.
“Thank you. I was just doing what needed to be done.” She responded with the first coherent sentence she managed to put together since the other woman joined her.
“I also heard that you fought valiantly and were an excellent leader to the war party.” The Armorer’s voice was warmer than Bo-Katan had ever heard it. There was a lightness to it. Then, “I would like to see you in action myself one day.”
Warm heat crept up Bo-Katan’s face. Never in her life was she so grateful to be wearing her helmet.
“Thanks.” She managed to respond. She had to say something else. Words were failing her. Why was this so hard?
“I’m just glad the mission went well.” Bo glanced down at the half empty bottle of wine and the glass on the table. “Uh, do your people usually celebrate after a successful mission?”
“Not typically. Sometimes we gather around a fire and tell stories of the battle and our heroics. It is hard to feast or celebrate much with our helmets.” The Armorer answered. She glanced downward toward the table in between them.
“Although, I’m guessing your people do.” The Armorer teased.
Bo-Katan felt a small flutter in her stomach. She could practically hear the smirk on the other woman’s face.
Slightly mortified, she responded with an awkward chuckle. “Yeah. A successful mission was usually followed by drinks and celebration.”
Bo was satisfied with that answer. At least the Armorer could think that the former heir to Mandalore was drinking alone on her ship to celebrate her successes, not because her life was a mess and she was full of crippling self-doubt. Yeah, successes were better.
The nite owl added, “I’d offer you a glass but…” She raised her hand and gestured to her helmet. “The helmet thing gets in the way.”
The Armorer chuckled softly. The sound made Bo pause. Has she ever heard the other woman laugh before? It came in stark contrast to her usual stern demeanor.
The Armorer picked up the wine bottle and looked at the label.
“I would love to have a drink with you.”
Wait. What?
Bo-Katan froze. A couple moments passed in a stunned silence.
“Um, okay.” She muttered. She must have heard the other woman wrong. How were they going to have a drink together? There is absolutely no way the Armorer was going to take her helmet off, was there? She felt stupid just for having the thought.
Bo got up and fetched another glass from a nearby storage bin. She placed it on the small table between them, and said back down.
Her mind continued to race. Maybe she was going to lift her helmet slightly to drink. Bo had seen Din do that once or twice. Though, he typically left the room completely to eat or drink.
She poured the Armorer a glass and topped off her own.
She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. Maybe the Armor was just going to take the glass and leave. The thought left Bo feeling somewhat disappointed, but that situation made the most sense.
“Thank you.” The Armorer said, picking up her drink. Bo didn’t move.
“Well.” A pause. “Turn around.” The Armorer said expectantly. The woman spun her chair so her back was facing Bo-Katan.
The blacksmith glanced over her shoulder, waiting. Bo picked up her own glass and turned her chair around so they had their backs to one another.
She stared out the window in front of her. Outside, the sun had finally reached the lake and was starting to fall beneath the surface.
The slight hiss of a helmet depressurizing broke the silence. Her breath caught in her throat as she heard it. The sound of beskar being set upon metal followed soon after.
Bo-Katan fixed her gaze out the window. The Armorer herself was about two feet behind her, completely helmetless. If Bo turned around, she could get a glimpse of the other woman. Maybe see the color of her hair. She would never do it. She respected the Armorer far too much to betray her like that.
Having their backs to each other made some sense for being able to drink together without seeing each other. Still, Bo-katan was shocked that the Armorer even trusted her enough to remove her helmet in the same room as her. The thought gave her a weird sense of pride. The Armorer trusted her enough for this. She pushed the feeling away. She had to be reading too much into this, maybe this was a common thing for Children of the watch to do.
She looked out the window with a level of intensity she had never felt before, terrified she might accidentally see a flash of the Armorer out of the corner of her eye. She needed a drink. She removed her own helmet and took long swig of her wine, her whole body tense.
A sharp cough comes from behind her. The sound is followed by the most beautiful laugh Bo-Katan thinks she has ever heard.
She chokes on her drink.
“Fuck,” The Armorer says, voice breathless, “It has been a couple years since I’ve last had a drink. This is … quite strong.”
Bo-Katan laughs, all the tension leaving her body. “Really? It’s been that long?”
“Yes. Like I said earlier, my clan does not celebrate the typical way, and I usually have too many responsibilities for anything like this.”
“Sounds like you have better self control than me.” Bo responds.
The Armorer chuckles, “Something like that.”
The Armorer’s voice is beautiful without the modulator from her helmet. Still strong, still commanding, but it sounded so much warmer without the electronic quality to it. And that laugh, Bo can’t stop thinking about it. She finds herself wanting to hear more.
The Armorer lets out a much quieter cough. Bo smiles at what she assumes to be the other woman’s second sip. They fall into a comfortable silence after that. Sipping wine and watching the sun slip beneath the lake. For the first time all evening, she feels content. Happy.
—
She doesn’t know how long goes by. Her and the Armorer alternate between comfortable silence, and conversations about everything and nothing. It’s nice. At one point the Armorer makes her promise not to turn around so she can turn to pour herself another glass. Bo promises not to, but only if the Armorer pours one for her too.
By now, it’s night. The sun has completely vanished and stars are out. It’s so dark inside the ship that Bo can’t see anything around her. She could glance over her shoulder towards the Armorer, and not be able to see any part of the other woman at all. But she doesn’t, and the two women continue to face away from each other. She feels a bit buzzed at this point, and she suspects the Armorer is too, based on how easily the other woman is laughing and her voice seems to have lost much of its typical rigid quality.
Bo finds herself completely entranced by this side of the Armorer. She wonders what she did to deserve to see it.
They’re sitting quietly again, and Bo is just enjoying looking at the stars.
“What was it like on Mandalore?” The Armorer’s voice breaks the comfortable silence. “I’ve been curious since you came back. To be honest though, I’m scared of the answer. Is it as bad as they say?”
Bo-Katan signs. “It was hard. Going back. I knew it would be difficult seeing everything destroyed, but I didn’t expect it to hurt so much. The once great halls and cities look like they’ve been abandoned for centuries. There is so much decay. It was hard to believe it was the same place I used to walk so frequently.” She pauses for a moment, letting herself feel the pain. Pain she was partially the reason for. The Armorer sits quietly, presumably processing what she said, sharing a similar hurt.
“It’s not all bad though.” Bo continues, “The air is breathable. Creatures we used to hunt and that used to hunt us still manage to survive.” She pauses again.
“Plus, the mythosaur appears to be doing well.” She adds.
The Armorer laughs at her comment, and warmth fills Bo-Katan’s chest at the sound.
The blacksmith replies, her tone solemn, “It causes great pain to think about it in ruins, but I have hope our people will one day return.”
A moment passes. Bo-Katan realizes she knows so little about this woman behind her.
“Are you from there?” She asks, knowing many of the Children of the Watch were foundlings or came from other places in the planet’s system.
“I am.” The Armorer replies, warmth returning to her voice. “I learned to mold and shape beskar in the Great Forge. It was the most incredible place.”
“I remember the forges well. My father used to bring my sister and I there sometimes. Show us where and how our armor was made, and to pay respect to our culture.” Bo reminisces.
She adds lightly, “Maybe I saw you there one time.”
She hears a small laugh from the other woman. “I doubt it.” The blacksmith answers in a teasing tone, “It would have been quite the spectacle among us apprentices to hear that the princess of Mandalore was coming for a visit.”
The redhead laughs, and sips her wine. “True, they did like to announce anytime my family so much as even breathed.”
The Armorer goes silent. Anxiety makes Bo’s throat tighten. She wonders if she said something that offended the other woman. She starts thinking how to backtrack when-
“I remember hearing about you though.” The Armorer says. Her voice has a note of wistfulness to it.
“Oh?” Bo responds. More anxiety rises in her chest, the Armorer could be referring to any number of not so great things from Bo’s past.
“I heard that you’re beautiful.”
Oh.
In the couple seconds preceding that statement, Bo-Katan had prepared defenses to everything from accusations about her past with Death Watch to comments about her losing the dark saber.
She was not in any way prepared for that.
Beautiful was something that Bo-Katan had only been called in ways that were meant to be demeaning. A ‘hey beautiful’ from a crept at a cantina, or by an enemy trying to use the fact that she was a woman against her.
She had never heard it said so sincerely. Especially by someone who hasn’t even seen her. Is this what it’s like to have butterflies?
In that moment, she had a realization. The Armorer had never seen her face. When Bo had first met the Armorer, she had on her helmet, and then was inducted in the Children of the Watch. Being someone who regularly removed her helmet, everyone Bo was close knew what she looked like. The Armorer did not. While this concept was probably completely normal for the Armorer, Bo-Katan could not be more out of her comfort zone.
The Armorer said she’s beautiful. The Armorer doesn’t know what she looks like.
She needed to respond.
“Well, you’re about four days too late to see for herself.” She joked, “Can’t let you see my face now that I’ve been redeemed.”
“That is extremely unfortunate timing for me then.” The Armorer responded.
Bo felt herself blush, this time the cover of night keeping it secret instead of her helm.
“Will you keep it on?” The Armorer asked, tone once again serious.
“Do you want me to be honest?” Bo responded, worried what the other woman might think.
“Please. I will not judge. I know I invited you into our ranks rather abruptly. I did say you are free to take it off any time.” She answered.
Bo took another drink. “I don’t know. Most of my people cast me aside the moment I lost the dark saber. Your people took me in. You took me in. I don’t want to lose that. But, never removing your helmet is not the way I follow. Yes, we all took the same creed, but most Mandalorians do not live like this.”
There was silence for a few moments while the Armorer pondered Bo’s answer.
The other woman said, “I am beginning to realize there are more important things than helmets. All Mandalorians walk the same path. Arguing over things like helmets, neutrality, and what the creed means is what destroyed our people and our planet to begin with. Mandalorians need to come together and differences need to be put aside. You are helping me begin to realize that.”
“That is…” Bo didn’t know what to say. She was surprised to hear such radical ideas coming from someone she considered to be an extremist.
Then in a much quieter tone, she heard, “I think you could lead the way.”
Bo-Katan scoffed. “I tried once. Remember?” She said darkly. She was a failure. She once had the darksaber, had Mandalore, and then she lost it all in the purge. She took a swig of wine. The familiar self hatred once again settling in.
“I do remember.” The Armorer said, that determined, firm quality back in her voice. “I remember a warrior fighting her hardest in an unwinnable situation. I remember a leader doing what is right for her people at great cost to herself.”
The sound of the co-pilot’s chair turning cut through the darkness. She heard the clinking of glassware being set on the table.
“Turn around.”
“What?” Bo asked incredulously. It was pitch black in the ship. Bo could barely make out hazy outlines of the things around her. She was sure she would not be able to see the Armorer at all if she turned. Still, turning around felt so intimate. It would cross a boundary that she knew they couldn’t go back from.
“Bo-Katan Kryze.” The Armorer’s voice rang out against the dark silence. “Turn around and face me.”
Heart pounding, she set her glassware on the floor next to her, and Bo-Katan turned the chair around.
She couldn’t see anything through the night. The stars outside cast enough light into the dim interior to see the rough outline of a person leaning towards her, less than a foot away.
“Bo-Katan, you are brave. You are strong. You are an incredible warrior.” She felt a tentative touch as the Armorer reached across and gently placed a hand on her knee.
“You have made mistakes, yes, but you are not a failure.”
A thousand emotions and a million thoughts pour into Bo-Katan’s mind. This woman, who had only been in her life for less than a week, was telling her she wasn’t a failure. This woman barely knew her, yet she believed in her. This woman had never seen her, but thought she was beautiful. She made Bo’s heart flutter and made her feel things that she hadn’t thought possible.
She could barely try to sort through any of these feelings, the warmth of the other woman’s hand on her knee making her feel dizzy.
Maybe it was the fact that she had been unable to stop thinking about this woman since meeting her. Maybe it was the slight buzz she still had from the wine. She didn’t know what gave her confidence, but she reached across the darkness until her hand felt the Armorer’s face. She gently cupped the other woman’s cheek, her thumb gently caressing the other woman’s cheek bone. The Armorer was only a few inches away.
Bo leaned in and kissed her.
It felt as if every neuron in her body came alive at once. The Armorer immediately responded, deepening the kiss. The sweet taste of wine was on her lips. Bo never wanted it to end.
When they finally broke apart, gently gasping for breath. Bo felt two hands gently touch either side of her face. Fingers tracing over her jaw and cheekbones.
“They were right.” The Armorer whispered. “Beautiful.”