Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Merlin…Merlin…" A sweet voice called out with a gentle tap on his shoulders. It was Gwen.

But that didn’t make any sense. Why would Gwen be in his chambers so early in the morning?

Unless…he wasn't in his chambers.

As he opened his eyes to take in his surroundings, he was met with two other pairs of curious eyes staring at him expectantly. He was still in Morgana’s chambers, uncomfortably lying on the floor beside her bed with a blanket carefully wrapped around him that he suspected Gwen had something to do with. He must have fallen asleep after their lesson before he had the chance to get back to Gaius’ chambers. Those days it was hard to juggle being Arthur’s manservant, Gaius’ apprentice and Morgana’s teacher all at once.

"Good morning, Merlin," Gwen greeted him with a warm smile. 

It wasn't the first time she found him sleeping like this. In fact, with his constant tiredness lately, it had become somewhat of an occurrence.   

"Morning, Gwen," he greeted back with a smile as he sat himself up to speak to her. From that angle he could fully see Morgana too - sitting up on the edge of her bed, wearing her silver night gown and a mischievous grin as she looked down at him with amusement.

"Good morning, dollophead," she finally addressed him teasingly.

Merlin wasn't too happy that she had taken up some of their words, but it was a small price to pay for finally having someone to share his magic with. And Morgana was getting good at it too, perhaps even too good, seeing as she now used it to pull little pranks on Arthur when she was bored at court. Still, he couldn't escape the feeling that he was being mocked. 

"What is it? Do I have something on my face? Am I late? God, is Arthur already looking for me?" He frantically asked.

Suddenly he felt an unfamiliar panic rush over him. For some reason he didn't want to disappoint Arthur so early in the morning. Not today. 

"Relax, your lazy prince is still in his beauty sleep," she reassured him and he sighed in relief, "Now, tell me Merlin, how are you feeling?"

Merlin was caught off guard by her seemingly innocent question. It could mean anything coming from Morgana. But now that she mentioned it, his head did feel rather hazy, but hazy in a good way. As if he had just woken up from a good dream…a dream he couldn't quite remember, but one he was sure had involved Arthur and…a kiss? 

His whole face instantly reddened just with the thought of it, both flustered and intrigued by the possibility. 

"Good, great actually. I just need to see Arthur," he blurted out as he stood up, almost involuntarily, as if the very thought of Arthur had urged his muscles to move on their own.

"You might want to take flowers," Gwen suggested as she handed him a small bouquet, "Here, I just picked these up for you."

"Flowers?" He promptly asked, somewhat confused by her kind offer.

"For Arthur," Morgana added.

Of course, how thoughtful of them. Arthur had always secretly loved flowers, even if he was too much of a tough guy to admit it. At least that's why he assumed he seemed jealous every time he saw him bringing flowers to somebody else. It was about time he got some for Arthur as well.  

"Of course. Arthur's gonna love those," he replied cheerfully as he imagined Arthur's reaction, "Thank you, Gwen." 

As he picked up the flowers from Gwen, he noticed that more flowers started to bloom in their place without his command. Morgana and Gwen instantly shared a concerned look. It had been a while since his magic acted out on its own, but he didn't think much of it. After all, he was just happy to go see Arthur. 

By the time he got to Arthur's chambers he was already carrying a bouquet that was almost taller than him. 

Just more flowers for Arthur to love, he thought. Nothing suspicious about that. 

When he entered the room he noticed the curtains were still closed and Arthur was still asleep, untouched by the morning light. So he sneaked in quietly and placed the flowers gently over his desk, not wanting to wake him just yet. Instead he lingered by his bedside, savouring the rare moment of quiet and watching him sleep.

Amongst all the ruffled sheets and silky pillows, there he was - his prince, his destiny. He always looked so peaceful in his sleep, and there was something almost angelic to him…as if he was much softer then the entitled prat that he pretended to be when everyone was watching him. He almost felt tempted to reach out his hand and brush away the few strands of golden hair that had gotten in the way of his beautiful face, or maybe even give him a good morning kiss…but of course that would be completely inappropriate, so he immediately pulled himself away. 

He had to remind himself the reason he was there, even if he almost felt sorry to take him away from his peaceful slumber. Some mornings he hated to have to be the one to wake him up but, oh well, then again he also kind of loved it. So he marched on to fullfil his duties with a cheerful smile, just happy to be the first face Arthur saw each morning. 

"Good morning, sunshine!" He greeted happily as he opened up the curtains to let the morning light in.

But all he got back was a grumpy moan from Arthur, stilll fully splayed in bed, refusing to wake up. He had taken on the habit of sleeping shirtless during the warmer months, which was one Merlin couldn't really complain about, but it did make it harder to resist the urge to just drag his body out of bed. 

"Come on, get up, you lazy daisy," he said fondly as he attempted to gently pull him out of bed.

"Merlin?" Arthur finally replied, his voice still laced with sleep.  

"Yes?" Merlin answered eagerly. He secretly loved the way Arthur said his name.  

"Don't ever call me that again!" Arthur grumbled, sinking his head back into his pillow. 

"You didn't respond to my sunshine, so I figured I'd try something else," he replied with a teasing grin. 

"So you went with lazy daisy?" Arthur asked in utter disbelief.

"At least that woke you up," Merlin retorted, knowing that, if nothing else, at least his banter would wake him up. 

"You're awfully cheerful today, Merlin. More than usual, that is." Arthur observed with a raise of his eyebrow as he studied him. "What's going on?"

It was true that he had woken up in an exceptionally good mood for no particular reason, but he figured that was only because he had had a good night of sleep. In fact, now that he thought about it, he had slept better that night than he had in weeks, which was surprising considering that he had spent most of the night on the floor. But apart from that, there didn't seem to be anything particularly different about him or that morning.   

"Nothing. I'm just happy to see you, that's all," he replied with a fond grin.

"Alright, now I know there's really something going on. What are you after? A day off? A raise?" Arthur inquired, now sitting up to face him. 

…A kiss? 

Where had that come from? He was usually able to repress those thoughts, but now they seemed to be at the forefront of his mind, eager to come out. So he kept his mouth shut, afraid that he might actually say it out loud.

But when he failed to respond, Arthur stood up and walked towards him with a dominant stance. He looked gorgeous even with his ruffled morning hair and all he could stare at was his broad build and his toned chest. Gosh, he was getting flustered just looking at him. That hadn't happened in months. He had to pull himself together, he couldn't risk getting exposed like that.

So he immediately reached for the flowers he had placed over Arthur's desk, attempting to hide the now comically large bouquet behind his back before he had the chance to see it. What was he even thinking? What kind of message would that send? That he was in love with him? Well, he was, but Arthur wasn't supposed to know about it. And flowers were one of the few things Arthur actually associated with courting. 

"Come on, Merlin, what are you up to? What are you hiding?" Arthur pressed with a teasing grin as he tried to have a peek at the flowers that were still blooming behind his back. Arthur was standing so close that he could have kissed him, if he had no semblance of self-control left.

There was no point in hiding it now. There was no way Arthur wasn't seeing the ridiculous bouquet that was growing more and more out of control with every second that Arthur threatened to cut the distance between them. So he promptly handed it over to Arthur in an attempt to stop it from growing into a full-blown garden right before his eyes. 

"Flowers!" He foolishly announced with a weak smile, as if Arthur couldn't see the massive bouquet that he had just shoved in his face.  

But Arthur didn't seem as excited by the flowers as he thought he would be.

"What? Where is my breakfast?" Arthur asked grouchily, looking genuinely disappointed at the apparent lack of food on his table.

Damn it. With all the excitement over the flowers, Merlin had forgotten to swing by the kitchen to get Arthur's breakfast. He should have known that Arthur was always in a grumpy mood before he had his breakfast.

"Oh, I forgot," he admited, "but I brought you these." He sheepishly replied once again bringing Arthur's atention to the flowers, in hopes that the giant bouquet along with his apologetic smile would be enough to win him over.   

"Well, I'm hardly gonna eat those, am I?" Arthur snapped back. 

Actually, nevermind, Arthur was as dense as it gets. Not to mention an ungrateful prat too. He probably wouldn't figure out his feelings, even if he spelled them out for him. 

But it eventually dawned on him. "Wait…You brought me flowers?" 

Merlin could have sworn he saw a hint of red colouring Arthur's cheeks, but he knew better than to indulge his own fantasies. Besides, even if it was indeed there, they did nothing to rival the tomato red of his own.  

"Yes. Well, Gwen picked them up, but I thought you might like them," he quietly admited, his whole face burning red by that point.  

"That's…They're…very nice, Merlin. Thank you," Arthur mumbled, looking even more flustered than he was, "Just put them on the vase by the window."

"And next time don't forget to bring my breakfast along with them, alright?" Arthur teased in a far gentler tone than he was used to.

"Yes, Sire," Merlin replied, pratically beaming with joy, as he placed the flowers where Arthur had asked. Arthur had liked his flowers, after all.

"Now, would you please fetch me my red tunic? I need to dress." Arthur regretfully informed, breaking off the tender moment between them, as he walked behind the changing screen.  

Dressing him, however, proved to be a challenge in itself. He found himself lingering in his touches, something he usually did subconsciously, but the fact that he was doing it so much that he was aware of it was alarming to say the least. And it didn't take long for Arthur to become aware of it too. 

"Merlin, leave it, it's fine. I- I- have to go." Arthur said, looking understandbly flustered, as he was now needlessly fixing his collar while blatantly staring at his chest.

What had gotten into him? And why did he feel such a strong urge to give him a kiss goodbye?

"Of course, Sire. You're all set to go," he said with a pat on the back, in a desperate attempt to make any of that pass as professional.  

Arthur gave him a weird look, but then shook his head and went on his way. Thankfully, he was gone before he had the chance to do anything stupid. Arthur had a training session to attend and he had given him chores to do, which was actually a good thing, because he wasn't sure he could handle watching sweaty muscly men hitting each other with swords in the state he was in. 

As soon as his training ended, Arthur called him back to his chambers. Merlin knew by his tone that nothing good would come out of it, but then again he was just happy to see him. That morning he had caught himself thinking of Arthur more than usual. He didn’t like it when his mind was occupied by the prat more than it had to be, so he often tried to shut those thoughts away. Normally they would go away once he reminded himself of how he could be an arrogant ass at times, but this time he couldn’t help but to linger on them. So he surrendered to those thoughts and allowed himself to admire his prince…And how could he not? He couldn’t simply ignore the way the morning sun shined upon his silky golden hair or the way he could get lost staring into the blue of his ocean eyes. Even his skin seemed to be gilded with gold in that gorgeous morning light and his lips…even his velvety lips seemed oddly appealing, despite being used in that very moment for angrily blabbering at him about the poor job he had done at polishing his armour for practise or some other foolish complaint. 

“You’re not even listening to me, are you? Merlin?” Arthur snapped, pulling him away from his thoughts. 

“Hum…? I-I’m sorry, Sire. I’ll do a better job next time,” he mumbled apologetically, trying his best to stay focused.

“What’s wrong with you today?" Arthur continued his rebuke, "You can’t focus on your chores, you can barely hold up a conversation… I swear talking to you feels like talking to a simpleton sometimes.”

He too had began to think there was something wrong with him, seeing as once again he was taken by the sudden urge to kiss Arthur's lips. He knew it was totally inappropriate, especially now that Arthur was already mad at him for neglecting his chores. But still he could barely hold himself at the temptation of reaching for his lips. He had to think of something else, anything else.

But the more he tried to avoid that wicked thought, the less he was able to control that almost unnaturally strong desire to touch Arthur's lips with his own and the more it grew until it became the only thing on his mind. And when he felt like he couldn’t suppress it anymore, he let go. He felt a force stronger than anything he felt before pulling him closer to Arthur as he closed his eyes, brassing himself for the worst. But instead he was pleasantly surprised…It all felt so…right. His lips fit perfectly into Arthur's, as if they had been made for each other. And in that moment, he thought he had finally understood what the dragon had been saying about their destiny together for all those years…

But as soon as their lips parted, he was instantly brought back to the present and he fully realised what had just happened, what he had just done. Whatever happened next, would change their relationship forever and threatened the very destiny they would build. What was he thinking? Arthur could sack him on the spot and never wish to see him again. Or, perhaps, if he were lucky, he could take it as a joke. But for that moment, he had left Arthur utterly speechless. 

He was hoping to have at least the few seconds that would take Arthur to get over the initial shock of what just happened to come up with a reasonable enough explaination, but of course nothing in his life was ever easy. And to make matters worse, his magic had started acting up again, making more flowers blossom all over Arthur's chambers. He had to do something quickly, or his feelings wouldn't be the only thing to get exposed that day.

He began anxiously scanning the room, desperately searching for some clue, some way out, just something he could use to get out of there and avoid the worst. That was when his eyes landed on an empty jug that stood on Arthur's table. It wasn't an ideal solution, but it would have to do. 

So with a flash of his eyes and a clang of metal against Arthur's thick head, he fell unconcious to the ground.

That wasn't that bad, he tried to convince himself while pulling Arthur into the bed to not make it look like he had just knocked out the prince, even if that was exactly what he did. 

It will be fine. Arthur probably won't even remember what happened. Or at least he hoped that he wouldn't. 

He kept repeating that to himself, but knowing there was even the slightest chance of him remembering all of it was enough to make his stomach turn. He had to figure out a way to fix this or his relationship with Arthur and their very destiny could be at stake. 

Merlin rushed into Gaius' chambers in a desperate attempt to find a solution for his incident with Arthur. He wasn't exactly sure what he was looking for - a forgiveness potion, a memory-erasing spell? - but he needed to find something and he had to do it quickly. But before he had the chance to fully close the door behind him, his old mentor was already fixing him with a disapproving look. How could he have already heard about what happened? He had barely gotten out of Arthur's room.

"Oh, hello Merlin, fancy seeing you here," Gaius said in a sneering tone. It was clear he was still worried that he didn't come home last night. 

After the initial scolding for revealing his secret to someone so close to the king, Gaius had actually been quite supportive of his lessons with Morgana, lending them all the books and supplies they needed. He just didn't like it when they got him into more trouble than he was already in. 

"Oh, hey Gaius, how are you doing?" He greeted back with an apologetic smile that he hoped would be enough to get him out of trouble. 

"Where have you been?" Gaius asked anyway with a raise of his dreaded eyebrow. 

"Just err…doing some late night chores for Arthur," he lied.

He didn't have time for this. He needed Gaius' help to fix things with Arthur, but of course he couldn't tell him anything about what actually happened. But Merlin wasn't exactly known for subtlety either, so he decided to just go for it anyway:

"And I was just thinking…what do you know about memory erasing magic?"     

“What have you gotten yourself into this time, my boy?” Gaius asked, his accusing eyebrow not yet leaving its inquisitive stance.  

"Nothing," he started defensively, "I was just wondering if…I had hypotetically exposed my magic to someone, if there was a way to make them forget what they saw and still keep my secret safe…You know, hypotetically."

There was a brief pause in which he studied Gaius' face to see if there was a slight chance that he had believed his story but when he still couldn't be sure, he proceeded anyway. He couldn't waste any more time, Arthur could wake up at any moment.

"So…do you think magic can even be used to do that?"

"I'm not sure," the old man finally answered. "Even back in the days of the Old Religion such enchantments were rarely performed due to the uncertainty associated with them. They could as easily erase a mere moment or a decade of someone's mind."

So that was no longer an option. There went his best chance of fixing things with Arthur. 

"You'd have better odds with a simple blow to the head," Gaius let out with a chuckle. 

"Already tried that," he whispered under his breath. 

"What was that?" 

"Oh, nothing." 

Gaius looked like he was about to scold him when a guard suddenly bursted through the door. But before Gaius had the chance to ask him what was his business there, the guard directly addressed him with a message.

"Merlin, Prince Arthur demands your presence right away!" The man announced with a dry tone. 

Gaius instantly raised him an eyebrow. He knew as well as he did that he was in serious trouble, otherwise Arthur would have come fetch him himself. He would definitely be sacked, or worse, executed. He could only hope that Arthur would be reasonable and emotionally open with him.  So it was official - he was doomed.

Chapter Text

He woke up with a light headache and, though his memory was still a bit hazy, the feeling of Merlin's soft lips still lingered in his. That stolen kiss was the last thing he remembered…that and a clanging sound.

He must have passed out from the shock. After all, they were in the middle of a fight and Merlin's move was not in the least bit expected. Though in hindsight, he should have seen it coming. Merlin had been acting weird all morning…with the flowers and the touching, god, the touching…Arthur was sure he was going to implode if Merlin kept that up.

He was well aware that they often shared long glances that would be considered far too intimate to be had between a prince and his servant, but this, he never expected this…even if it meant his feelings were finally reciprocated. He thought Merlin understood that that was a line that should never be crossed, that if he started kissing him, he wasn't sure he would be able to stop…

More than ever he found himself wondering, longing:

But If I wasn't a prince…

But he knew that was a foolish thought, so he never allowed himself to dwell on it for very long.

Why would Merlin tempt him like this?

And why today of all days?

When he had been especially rude to him that morning, when he had been scolding him just moments before… God, it was like he was trying to drive him mad. That wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this.

In fact, if his delusional fantasies were anything to go by, it would happen under a dimly lit fire in the woods somewhere, far away from the palace and the prying eyes of court. After a long day on some quest, when their guards were down and there was no one around to tell them who to be, then he would lean in and for once, just once, he could allow himself to have what he wanted. But that would never happen, of course. Or, at least that's what he thought until today.

But Merlin had always been full of surprises and, even if he chose the oddest moment to show it, Arthur was genuinely impressed that he was capable of displaying his feelings so blatantly. He wished he had the same courage to own up to his feelings and just grab him by the neckerchief to return his burning kiss right there and then. But he had always thought that Merlin was a braver man than he was, even if he would be the last to admit it.

And it also didn't help that he had somehow managed to be the one to make a fool of himself in the middle of that whole situation by passing out right in front of him like a lovestruck girl.

He quickly picked himself up, cringing at the hazy memory of it. He wanted to simply go on with his day and pretend like the incident with Merlin had never happened. But the more he tried to ignore it, the more he kept coming back to that heated moment and his head was once again clouded with feelings he didn't fully understand. So he figured he would go to the only person who had helped him make sense of his foolish feelings these past weeks. He knew he could trust Morgana to keep it a secret and she had surprisingly proved to be quite a good listener. Not only that, but she always seemed to have the best advice on how to avoid showing your true feelings to your servant and she didn't judge him too harshly about his whole Merlin nonsense.

So he made his way to her chambers in a haste, only slowing down when he realised her door was half-open. Before entering, he had a quick peek inside to check if she had company. He knew he could trust Gwen and, on any other matter, he would have cherished her advise, but when it came to his feelings for Merlin he felt more comfortable speaking only to Morgana, due to the close frienship between the two. Besides, he didn't need more than one person to judge him on his foolish feelings. Though, he was sure Morgana told her all about it as soon as he left her chambers by the loving way he often caught Gwen staring at the two of them.    

Luckily, Morgana seemed to be alone in the room. She was smiling to herself as she placed some freshly picked flowers in the vase by the table, likely a gift from an admirer by the looks of it. So he took advantage that she seemed to be in a good mood and he let himself in, unknowingly startling her.

"Arthur! Don't you know how to knock?" She scolded. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Is Gwen with you?" He sheeplishly asked, just to be sure.

"No, she has just gone downstairs to fetch us some tea," she grudginly informed. "Why do you ask? Do you need to speak to her?"

"No, actually it's you I wanted to see," he reluctantly admitted.

He regretted that he always had to come to her for romantic advise, but even he could recognize how completely hopeless he was when it came to such things. 

"Alright then, make yourself at home, I suppose," she said with a sneering tone, once again taunting him for barging in unannounced.

He never knew how to bring up the subject of his feelings for Merlin without sounding like a lovestruck girl. So he attempted to start casual conversation, hoping the subject would come up naturally…even if his incident with Merlin earlier was the one thing he desperately wanted to talk about. 

"Who are the flowers from? Any unwanted suitors I should be scaring off?" He casually asked, in an attempt to lure her into the subject. 

"No, just Gwen," she said fondly as she admired them, "Lovely, don't you think?"

"Are you speaking of the flowers or of Gwen?" He teased with a grin.

No matter how many times she denied it, he suspected that Morgana was harboring a crush of her own, even if she was much better at hiding it than he was.  

"Very funny, Arthur," she replied, sending him an annoyed glare, "Why are you here anyway? I assume you're not here on a social call." 

"No, I just, I needed, no, my friend needed you to-" God, he hadn't even started talking about Merlin and he was already stumbling over his words. And, as usual, Morgana was enjoying that far too much, barely being able to hold in her laughter.

"Can we talk?" He finally asked in defeat, giving up on pretending that this wasn't about Merlin. 

"Of course, what do you want to talk about? Or should I say who?" She teased with an overly pleased smirk.

She knew far too well that only Merlin could get him all worked up like that.

"You know who," he retorted with a glare.

"He seems to be the only thing you wish to talk about these days," she pretended to be uninterested, even though he was well aware that she enjoyed their late night conversations as much as he did. 

"Jealous, are you?" He attempted to tease back, knowing full well she had the upper hand in that moment.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself, I only feel sorry for poor Merlin who has to listen to you all day." She always seemed to find a way to turn it around on him, but he still enjoyed their sibling-like banter more than he'd like to admit. "Not that you speak to him about the things that truly matter, but go on then," she added with a judgemental tone, but ultimately agreeing to listen.  

She always liked to hammer on his lack of courage to confess his feelings for Merlin when he was starting to get on her nerves. But he knew that he was in no position to retaliate, so he decided to take his chance before she changed her mind. 

“So…There have been some developments regarding the Merlin situation…” He began, not really knowing how to mention the whole kissing bit. Though, to be fair he wasn't entirely sure how the whole thing had started in the first place.

“What was it this time? Did he call you prat in an endearing way or did you two engage in your so-called horseplay again?” She asked unfazed.

It wasn't his fault that men like him weren't allowed to show affection the same way ladies could. He was a knight, a prince, and those roles unfortunetly came with a distance that sometimes was hard to bear. He couldn't simply hold Merlin's hand, or hug him (no matter how much he would like to), or even offer him flowers as Gwen so often did to Morgana. So he had to resort to touching him in any other way that he could.

But this would show her. She couldn't possibly remain indifferent to an advance like this, even if he wasn't exactly the one who iniciated it.

“We kissed," he blurted out, "Well, he kissed me and I didn’t stop him.”

"Oh, really?” She asked, trying her best to hide a suspicious knowing grin. “Tell me, how was it?" 

"It was not unpleasant," he quietly admitted.

"Go on…" 

"It was quite nice, actually," he confessed, "His lips were so soft and they tasted of the strawberries he had stolen earlier from my lunch tray."

"And then?" She eagerly asked, hoping there would be more. But there wasn't, he had just passed out on the floor. 

"Then I heard this buzzing sound…and the next thing I knew I was lying in my bed. I think I might have passed out from the shock." 

"I have a feeling that Merlin is partially to blame for that," she said under her breath, but he was too busy panicking to ask her what she meant by that. 

"God, what do I do?" He promptly asked, trying his best to hide the panic in his tone. "He probably thinks I'm an idiot."

"You know that he already thought that before this, right?" She teased with a malicious grin.

"I'm serious, Morgana. I really need your help," he pleaded, immediately regretting the desperation in his tone.

"Alright, but you're not gonna like it," she warned.

"What is it?" He eagerly asked. "I'll do anything to make things right." 

"You're gonna have to talk about your feelings," she replied deadpan.

"God, why is that always your solution for everything?" He grumbled.

"Come on, Arthur, you know you can't solve all your problems with swords…Don't you wish to know how he feels? What it meant to him?"

"I- I do, but…" he mumbled in defeat. 

"Then go talk to him," she practically ordered.

"Fine, I'll go talk about my feelings," he grumbled as he stormed off her chambers.

But, as annoying as she was, he knew that Morgana was right. He had to know what it meant to Merlin. The only problem was that he couldn't bring himself to call for Merlin, not after the embarrassment of passing out in front of him. So he decided to send a guard to do it for him. God, he was being pathetic. He couldn't understand how he could muster so much courage in battle, but when it came to his own stupid feelings that same courage was nowhere to be found. It was ridiculous that after he had fought bandits, dragons and gryphons…Merlin would be the end of him.

No, he had to pull himself together. Merlin was his servant and he had crossed that forbidden but, oh, so tempting barrier between prince and servant. And he needed to be reminded of that. Some nobles would discipline him, or even sack him, for pulling a stunt like that. But he didn't have the heart to do it, not when his heart longed for the same, but was not brave enough to ask for it. He had to seem stern and discerning, even if he was in fact an absolute mess. When he saw Merlin come into the room, he was convinced he would be able to pull it off, though he wasn't sure he could handle it if Merlin tried to kiss him again.

Merlin walked into Arthur's chambers as if he was marching to the gallows themselves. He was sure he was done for. If Arthur truly remembered what happened, there was nothing he could do or say to save himself now. After all, he had not only exposed his magic to him but he had also managed to kiss him and knock him out in the process. Out of all the ways he had imagined his magic to be revealed this was certainly the most ridiculous one.

"Merlin, you're here!" Arthur greeted, apparently caught off guard by his presence, despite being the one to call for him.

But he didn't mock him for it, instead he kept his head down and asked in the most obedient tone he could manage, "You called for me, Sire?" 

“Yes, indeed I have," he said, still sounding unsure of himself, "because I believe we have much to discuss." 

He knew the dreadful conversation that would come, he had been preparing himself for it all the way there…or, from the day he was assigned as Arthur's servant, really. But now that it was finally happening, his mind was completely blank. He couldn't bring himself to face Arthur, because he knew he wouldn't bear to see the look of betrayal that was sure to be in his eyes. Still, a part of him remained hopeful. His tone didn't seem angry - but rather nervous? - and he could tell he was taking the time to think carefully about his next words, which was a rarity for Arthur.

"For instance, would you care to explain what happened earlier?” Arthur inquired with a demanding tone.

Merlin took it as a good sign that Arthur was giving him the chance to explain himself. Perhaps, this wouldn't go as badly as he thought. But he knew the best strategy would be to let Arthur speak first, to find out what he actually knew before talking too much and getting himself into a bigger mess than he already was.  

"What was it again? You're gonna have to be more specific, I had quite a busy day," he replied in a cheeky tone, with his eyes still glued to the ground.

He risked a look at Arthur for a reaction and was relieved to find that, even though his arms were crossed and he was trying his best to stand in an intimidating way, his expression was the same regal frown he bore when he was pretending to be assertive to impress the other noble prats at court. It was all an act, he was safe…at least for now. Though there was no telling if Arthur would be so forgiving after what he was about to do.

"You know…this morning when you…touched my lips with your lips," he awkwardly clarified, now looking royally embarrassed.  

It was amusing to watch Arthur get all flustered like that over a kiss and Merlin couldn't help to feel a wave of relief wash over him once he realised his secret was still safe, after all. Thank god, Arthur didn't remember anything about the magic. He wasn't ready to have that conversation yet. And, frankly, in the middle of that whole mess, he was just thankful to have one less problem to deal with. Now, at least he still had a chance. All he had to do was come up with a reasonable excuse as to why he was kissing the prat in the first place, which would be a challenge in itself.

"Oh that? " He asked dismissively, trying his best to think of an excuse. "That was only because…you had something on your…” And, before he knew it, his finger was on Arthur's lips, attempting to clean off the invisible bit of food that definitely wasn't there.  

What on earth was he doing? Was he mad? Perhaps, he did have a mental affliction.  

He immediately regretted standing so close to Arthur and tried to pull away, but his lips seemed to have other plans. 

"In fact, I think I still see a bit there…" he found himself saying, before his lips were once again glued to Arthur's. 

To his surprise, Arthur didn't pull back right away. Instead, he almost seemed to - lean into it?  And for a moment he allowed himself to think that maybe, just maybe, Arthur wanted this as much as he did. And when Arthur still refused to pull away, he was the one to break it away to gasp for air.  

Arthur looked just as surprised as he was, but also - sad and…embarrassed? Was it because it was over? Or, because it had happened at all? God, was he a bad kisser? He suddenly felt embarrassed for even trying it in the first place.

What was he thinking anyway? This couldn't happen. He knew it, they both knew it. And he couldn't risk losing Arthur's friendship over a stupid mistake like this. So he decided to spare him the embarrassment and brush it off like nothing had happened.  

“Strawberry, that was it… " he blurted out with an apologetic smile. That was the only word he could think of in that moment and also the taste of Arthur's lips.

Arthur still hadn't said a word since he broke off the kiss and the tension in the room was killing him. He desperately needed an excuse to leave.

"Herbs!" He exclaimed like a madman. "I recall now, Gaius had asked me to collect some herbs for him. Will there be anything else, my lov-, my lord?”

That was it. There was no salvation for him now. He would have to leave Camelot, maybe even change his name, he could never face Arthur again. So he just embarrassingly stood there by the door, waiting for Arthur's permission to leave as quickly as he could.

“No…That…That’ll be all …for the day,” Arthur mumbled in a barely audible tone. But it was enough for him to flee the room.

God, now he was giving him the rest of the day off?! He might as well have given him the whole month, because he was sure he was going to be sacked the next morning. And even if he wasn't, he didn't know if he would ever be able to show his face to Arthur again.

His heart was still doing somersaults by the time Merlin left his chambers in a hurry. Did that really happen or had he dreamed half of it?

And just moments ago it had nearly skipped a beat at the word that almost came out of Merlin's soft lips: 'My love…' He certainly wouldn't mind to be addressed like that…It was completely inappropriate, of course, but then again so were half of the things Merlin called him. 

Once again, his head was flooded with confusing feelings and he didn't know what to do with himself. For a while he paced around his chambers in a daze, trying to make sense of what just happened. He couldn't risk leaving his chambers and running into Merlin again, but he also didn't trust himself not to call Merlin right back to his room to finish whatever it was he had started. He couldn't stand to be alone with those feelings any longer, so he had to send for the only person who could help him wrap his head around that ridiculous situation. God, his life would be so much easier if he hadn't fallen in love with a total dollophead…

"Call for the Lady Morgana to meet me in my chambers right away," he ordered to one of the guards at the door, "Tell her it's an urgent matter." 

"Yes, Sire," the guard nodded before going on his way.   

Not long after, Morgana came bursting through his chambers, with her hair still undone and, for some reason, a sword in hand.

"I came as quickly as I could. Is there something wrong?" She asked, seemingly out of breath.

"Everything's wrong," he replied, only later realising how dramatic he sounded. "I can't make sense of anything he does anymore."

"Merlin? That's what this is about?" She snapped. "This is your so-called urgent matter? I thought we were under attack or something."

"Oh, so that's why you brought a sword," he added, now feeling dumb for his late realisation.

"Couldn't you wait for our regular gossip session after dinner?" She asked with growing desperation. 

"But there's been more…I mean, really major developments," he insisted, once again not realising how desperate he sounded.

"Fine, let's get this over with," she conceded with a roll of her eyes, "What did Merlin do this time? Did you talk to him about your feelings?"  

"Well, I tried," he said, though he hadn't really made much of an effort, "but he wasn't exactly in a talking mood. He just kissed me again."

And, though it was amazing, that kiss had left him even more confused than the first one.

"Oh, did he now?" She asked, amused. "But that's a good thing, isn't it? So what did you do next?"

"I gave him the rest of the day off," he admitted with a sigh. He wished he could have done more, said more, but apparently Merlin's kisses had the effect of leaving him utterly speechless. 

"What? You didn't even kiss him back?" She asked, understandably outraged.

"I wanted to but…it all happened so quickly. I panicked, I didn't know what to do. Besides, I needed some time to think. Perhaps, it was for the best."

"You're a coward, Arthur Pendragon. I thought you might've finally grown the courage to own up to your feelings. Next time you call me into your chambers, at least make it worth my time," she said annoyed, before heading back to her chambers. 

"Morgana!" He angrily called out, but she didn't turn back.

He wanted to call her back to his chambers, but he didn't want to risk proving her right and sounding even more pathetic than he already felt. He had to get over himself and find a way to solve the Merlin situation on his own. 

Chapter Text

Her plan was fairly simple, or so she thought. She just had to get the two fools to kiss and then they would finally realise their true feelings for each other and leave her alone. Merlin would have to be the one to do it, because Arthur was too stuck up to ever own up to his feelings and cross that line. And enchanting him would be fairly easy too, since he already spent most of his evenings in her chambers, teaching her magic. Now, she knew it was wrong to practise it on him and a part of her felt guilty for it, but she liked to think that she was doing it for a good cause. After all, Merlin had been so helpful to her when she first found out about her magic that she felt the need to return the favour. And what better way to do it? This was only her little way to say thanks, with the upside that it would also keep Arthur from visiting her chambers so much.  

The only flaw in her brilliant plan was, of course, that she didn't count on the fact that Arthur was a complete idiot who had been training to repress his feelings since birth. Though, she had a feeling that Arthur wasn't the only idiot to blame. In fact, idiot number 2 had just burst through her chambers unannounced…again.

"Merlin! Can't you knock?" She found herself scolding for what seemed like the millionth time that week.

Someone had to knock some manners onto him, onto them actually. Because somehow, even after all their late night magic lessons, Merlin still hadn't learnt how to be discreet. And, as annoying as it was, it was a habit that he and Arthur both shared, which made her life infinitely more stressful than it had to be. Really, for all the times they burst into her chambers unannounced, it was a wonder that they hadn't run into each other yet. And that was an awkward conversation she definitely didn't want to have.

But the poor boy hadn't even regained his breath to deliver his usual snarky remark, before turning to peek nervously through the door as if someone was about to burst in after him. He seemed unusually jumpy too, to the point where she started to wonder if there was something more serious going on. Was he being chased? 

"What happened? Is someone after you?" It wasn't the first time he took refuge in her chambers whenever a rude visiting noble or enemy sorcerer was chasing after him within the palace walls, so it was only natural that he'd come to her if he found himself in a similar situation.

Even Gwen, who had been quietly sewing one of her dresses in the corner of the room, seemed to be startled by his sudden appearance.

"What is it, Merlin? Are you alright?" Gwen asked with visible concern, as she lifted her eyes from her needlework.

"You know you can stay here for as long as you need," she offered, in an attempt to ease his nerves.

"No. I'm fine, really," he reassured them, not yet taking his eye off the door, "I just thought I saw Arthur down the hall."

So this was about Arthur, after all. Of course…why did she ever doubt it?

"And why exactly are you hiding from him?" She asked in a teasing tone.

“I'm not-" he quickly denied, looking overly flustered, "It's…complicated." Everything always seemed to be for those two.

"He has given me the rest of the day off,” he added, in a failed attempt to explain the messy state he was in.

Arthur's decision to dismiss him immediately after the kiss had been rash, to say the least. But for all the times that Merlin complained about never getting a day off, he certainly wasn't making the most out of this one. 

“I thought you’d be more thrilled by that,” she mused.  

“Not after what happened…now I don’t think I can ever face him again,” he replied dramatically. 

“What happened?” Gwen innocently asked, knowing full well what had happened.

"We kissed," he blurted out, face blushing, "Well, I kissed him." 

"Aww, that's nice. I'm happy for you two," Gwen let out with a warm smile.

"No, it's not nice. It's a disaster," he replied frantically, "I don't know what I was thinking. And Arthur has barely spoken to me since, so I really don't know what he's thinking either."

It seemed that the whole conversation about feelings with Arthur had been useless, after all. 

"Come on, Merlin, I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Gwen tried to reassure him.

"That's only because you weren't there, Gwen. You should've seen the look on his face. I mean, I don't even know if I have a job after that. He gave me the rest of the day off, he never gives me time off," he rambled on as he paced around the room. "And, you know, he was this close to find out about my magic too," he added with a small hand gesture, properly babbling by that point. "And I…I just think I need to lie down," he finished with a deep sigh, splaying dramatically on her bed without as much as asking for permission.

"Not to mention the whole jug incident," he let out, pinching the bridge of his nose in embarrassment.

"The what?" She asked, knowing she would probably regret it.

"I sort of…knocked him out," he confessed sheepishly. "But it was only to cover for my magic. I didn't know what to do," he attempted to explain himself.

"So you decided to knock him out?!" She asked in disbelief, not being able to hide the judgement in her tone.

She shouldn't be surprised, really. After all, she already suspected as much when Arthur mentioned he had passed out right after the kiss, but she never thought Merlin would actually have the nerve to pull it off. But those two would do anything to avoid talking about their feelings…No wonder Arthur seemed so dazed the first time he came around her chambers.

"I panicked, alright?!" He replied defensively.

"You better be careful, or one of these days he's going to get himself a concussion," she warned with a teasing grin. 

"God, what am I going to do? We're supposed to have this whole destiny together…I can't have a destiny with someone who doesn't want me anywhere near them," Merlin sighed, looking positively lost.

She really didn't know what to say to him, she couldn't think of any more ways to tell them to talk about their feelings. And even if she could, they probably wouldn't listen to her and they'd just do their own dumb thing anyway. She was starting to regret casting the whole spell in the first place, seeing as it was giving her way more work than she hoped for. It seemed so simple…but nothing was ever simple with them.

Thankfully, Gwen finally put her needle and thread to rest and stepped in to sit beside Merlin with a comforting smile. She really couldn't deal with the two idiots on her own. Besides, Gwen was always the best person to have around in times of crisis. She always seemed to know the right thing to say. And there were times she didn't even need to speak…like on the tough nights when she was dealing with horrible nightmares, her soothing presence alone was enough to calm her down. She really didn't know how she was ever able to live without Gwen by her side. 

"Relax, I'm sure he just needs time to figure things out. If he was really that upset by it, he would have already told you by now," she reminded him, while gently stroking his messy raven hair in a soothing way. 

"Maybe…but that doesn't mean he feels the same either. I just don't want this to ruin our friendship," he admitted, already looking visibly more relaxed.

"Even if he doesn't feel the same, I'm sure you two will be able to work it out and in a few days you'll be laughing about it," Gwen reassured him, "I mean, we kissed  once too and we're still friends."

Morgana was instantly taken out of the tender moment between the two.

"You…You two kissed? When did that happen?" She couldn't help but ask shakingly, caught off guard by Gwen's casual revelation.

She was aware that Gwen had a small crush on Merlin when he first arrived to Camelot, but she never knew there had been something between them. They always seemed so friendly together. It couldn't have been more than a friendly kiss, right? But then again, if Gwen was going around giving friendly kisses, why hadn't she gotten one? They spent nearly every minute of the day together, she had had plenty of opportunities. But this wasn't the time to start questioning Gwen's feelings, so she made a mental note to discreetly ask her about that kiss with Merlin later.  

Merlin instantly turned to her, sensing her discomfort.

"Oh, it's alright, don't worry, it was only because I was dying," he quickly brushed it off. But somehow that wasn't as reassuring as he thought it was.

"But you're different," he simply returned to Gwen's previous statement, turning back to her, "you're Gwen. He's an emotionally repressed prat with abs and gorgeous hair. It's not like we can just talk about it. Did you know that even after all these years he still can't admit that we're friends? How am I suppose to believe he'd be willing to be anything more than that?" He let out with a defeated sigh.

As much as he was currently being a nag about it, it was still sad to see him doubt Arthur's intentions so much, especially knowing just how much Arthur truly cared for him. It was all he ever talked about lately, it was just a shame that he was so bad at expressing it. Perhaps she should have worked on a truth spell for Arthur instead. 

"Believe me, he's more fond of you than he lets on," she reassured him, "He may try his best to preserve his tough knight exterior, but deep down he has a soft spot for you." That was all she allowed herself to say in fear of betraying Arthur's trust. She knew how hard it was for him to open up with her about his feelings. 

"How can you be so sure of that?" Merlin asked, still somewhat doubtful.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because he's always staring lovingly into your eyes, or because he always wants you by his side in every quest he goes on…not to mention the fact that you've kissed him twice now and he didn't pull away."  

"Wait…" he said in a suspecting tone, slowly sitting up, "I never told you about that second kiss. How did you know that it happened twice?"

Oh, god, she had said too much. But she couldn't risk exposing Arthur, so she would have to think of another excuse on her own.

"I saw it in a dream?" She tried with a sheepish smile, instantly regretting not being able to think of anything better.

Unfortunely for her, after spending so much time with Merlin, she was becoming almost as bad at lying as he was.

"Morgana," he pressed, leaving no room for argument.

"Well, I may have slipped one of my sleeping draughts into your tea last night and I may have planted the idea in your head to kiss Arthur," she finally confessed, hoping he wouldn't be too mad. "But you can't tell me it wasn't already there, you two spend half of your time staring into each other's lips." 

"You did what?! How did you-? I…I never taught you how to do that," he blurted out almost incoherently, trying to hide the fact that he was genuinely impressed.

"Well, it wasn't that hard. I'm a pretty fast learner," she answered proudly, forgetting that this probably wasn't the best time to gloat.

“You're unbelievable!" he snapped, once he finally got a better grasp on his words, "This is so wrong, I don’t think I need to tell you how wrong this is. Arthur and I are just friends!”

“I don’t think you two know the meaning of that word,” she retorted, once again forgetting the timing of her situation.

“Besides, even if we were more than that, our feelings are not your concern. You can't simply play with other people’s feelings like that, that is not what magic is for!”

“I know that. But sometimes we should also be allowed to have some fun with it,” she said defensively. She feared that, after so many years of hiding, Merlin had forgotten how much fun magic could really be in the beggining. 

“Of course, I would love to have some fun too," he replied in a sneering tone, "Do you have any idea how many times a day I think about turning Arthur into a donkey, or a toad? But I don't do it. Because we have to think that our little tricks have consequences!” 

She hated when he thought he had the right to scold her just because he was her mentor when it came to magic.

“Careful, you’re starting to sound a lot like Gaius,” she teased him, fed up with his warnings.

"This is serious, Morgana," he insisted, "Your little spell affected my magic. Things could have easily spiraled out of control and Arthur could have found out and then-" He had began rambling again.

"But he didn't," she tried to calm him down, but he only let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, I'm sorry, I was only trying to help. I didn't know the spell would affect your magic."

"Everything affects my magic!" he snapped, somehow looking even more angry. "Remember that one time you made me try that new spicy pepper they brought from Mercia and I was sneezing fireballs for like a week? That was not fun for me!"

"You have to admit it was a little bit funny when you nearly burned down Arthur's breeches," she poked fun of Arthur, in an attempt to lighten the mood. It was the one thing they could always bond over. 

"No," he said firmly, trying his best to fight off the grin that threathened to form on his face. "And you…" he continued his rebuke, now turning to  Gwen, "you knew about this too, didn't you? Of course, you even gave me those flowers… God, I really am a fool. I should've known something was up right in the morning. I mean, her I would expect, but you Gwen?" He asked, feeling utterly betrayed.

In that moment she suddenly regretted involving Gwen in her plan.

"I just wanted you to be happy. We all do," Gwen said in a calming tone. Surely he couldn't stay mad at Gwen, no one could.  

"I am happy!" he said, practically shouting, "I was perfectly content with my life as it was, before you two started meddling in. Now, would you please tell me whatever the spell was, so that I can figure out how to undo this? Cause I can’t stop thinking about kissing Arthur and it’s getting really annoying."

“Merlin, the spell was only meant to last for a few hours. It should be wearing off by now,” she revealed, knowing he wouldn't like to hear it.

“Well, I’m obviously still feeling the lingering effects," he quickly brushed it off, his face properly matching the red of his tunic, "I better leave the palace for the night, just to be safe. I think we can skip the magic lesson for tonight, seeing as you already seem to know so much about magic,” he retorted in a sneering tone before storming off. 

As soon as Merlin left, she instantly sank into bed, sitting pensively. The thought of Merlin not wanting to keep teaching her after what happened was a daunting one, and it was one she hadn't even considered. She didn't know where she'd be if he hadn't been so supportive of her in those first few days when she thought she was going insane. If he hadn't shown her that magic could be a force for good, she didn't know what would've become of that frightened girl she once was. And this was how she chose to repay him? Perhaps, she didn't deserve his kindness and all the effort he put into being there almost every night to teach her.  

"Don't worry, I'm sure he'll come around," Gwen said with a reassuring smile, as she sat beside her to lay a comforting hand on her knees. Gwen could always read her like a book.  

She smiled back tenderly. Perhaps one day she would have the courage to try her own luck with Gwen. She kept waiting for the right moment, but they didn't seem to get a moment alone these days - that was the main reason she came up with the stupid plan, anyway. And as if it was deliberately timed, Arthur invaded her chambers shortly after Merlin left them. 

It was barely past supper and Arthur was already missing his foolish manservant. Perhaps he had been too quick to dismiss him…After all, he didn't exactly shy away from the kiss either. The unfamiliar awkwardness between them was as much his fault as it was Merlin's and he needed to own up to it. So he headed out of his chambers to look for him. He didn't know exactly what he was going to say to him once he found him, he only knew that he had to see him.

He had searched Gaius' chambers, the tavern, as well as half the palace, but there was no sign of Merlin. He couldn't have gone too far and the palace wasn't that big, surely he would have found him by now if he was still out and about.

God, what if Merlin had left Camelot? He suddenly felt a panic rush over him. No, he couldn't. He wouldn't leave without saying goodbye, no matter how weird things had gotten between them. But his chances of finding him were looking slim and more than ever the fear that his suspicions might be right started sinking in. He was almost about to give up hope, when he thought he saw Merlin's shadow heading out of Morgana's chambers. The door was still half open, so he simply walked in. He couldn't miss his chance.

"Arthur!" Morgana scolded in a angrier tone than the one she normally used when he barged in. She was sitting in bed with Gwen suspiciously close, her hands resting beneath Morgana's. It didn't even occur to him that he might be interrupting something.  

But the damage was already done, so he decided to go for it anyway, unbothered by Gwen's presence.

"Have you seen Merlin?" He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice, "I could have sworn I saw him coming this way." 

"No, sorry, I haven't seen him," Morgana answered, somewhat hesitant. 

And though he hadn't said a thing, Gwen seemed to understand that that conversation wasn't meant for her and she politely excused herself out of the room, leaving Morgana empty handed. "I suppose I should retire for the night," she softly declared as she stood up from the bed, slightly embarrassed. "Good evening, my Lady, my Lord," she bowed respectfully to both of them before leaving, "I'll be in the antechamber should you need me." 

"Of course. Thank you, Gwen," Morgana replied shakingly, her face slightly blushing. He suddenly felt guilty for ruining their moment.  

But he had his own cheeky servant to worry about. “I can't seem to find him anywhere, it's like he's hiding from me. I swear, he barely looks me in the eye after what happened.”

“He’s probably just ashamed," she quickly brushed it off, "he believes his advances weren’t well received, that his love isn’t returned. And, to be fair, I don't blame him, seeing as you just sent him away the second he showed you how he feels,” she added with snide, presumably still mad about the Gwen situation.

“What would you have me do? I'm the Crown Prince, there are certain duties I am expected to fulfil. I can't simply give in to my foolish feelings and run away with my manservant…no matter how much I might want to," he replied dutifully, trying his best to hide the desperation in his tone. He had heard those words all his life, but there were times when he still struggled to accept the weight of them. "And surely he knows, he knows that nothing could ever happen between us…my father would never allow it. And to admit my feelings knowing that…” It simply hurt too much, so much so that he feared he might never be able to do it.

“But Uther doesn’t have to hear of it," she answered in the weirdly encouraging tone she always used when she tried to persuade him to disobey his father. "As long as you fulfil your duties as Crown Prince, he shouldn’t have a say in what you do with your spare time." 

“You're aware that one of my duties is to produce an heir for Camelot, right?” He promptly reminded her, since she didn't seem to fully understand the implications of taking Merlin as his lover instead of any other noblewomen, as it was expected of him. 

”And, when the time comes, you shall find an amiable wife who will give you an heir. But, in the meantime, why should you deny yourself of your happiness?" 

But he knew that Merlin deserved more than to be his side lover, his bedwarmer. In fact, Merlin deserved the world and he wouldn't rest until he could give it to him. He always thought that for them it would have to be all or nothing. But the longer he tried to surpress his feelings, the more he realised that he couldn't settle for nothing. And, judging by his most recent displays, neither could Merlin.

"Besides, as a servant Merlin has much more to lose if your entanglement was ever found out and he has shown he is willing to take that risk. So why aren't you?” She prompted. 

Arthur was well aware that she was right, that if their situation ever became known, Merlin would be the one to pay for it with his life. So why was he the one scared? Perhaps, because he couldn't bear the thought of ever losing him. Perhaps, because it seemed too high a price to pay.

“I’m afraid you won’t have much time to consider his gesture though," she warned in a suspicious tone.

"What do you mean?" He couldn't help but ask.

"You see, Merlin’s not like you. He’s a lover. He has a likeable personality, able to charm men and women alike, and you’re not the only one who notices that. I’ve seen it before with my own eyes. Ladies and gentlemen being swept up by his pleasant figure and charismatic ways."

“Oh, yeah? And who are those people exactly?" He asked in disbelief, suspecting that most of them were made up in a desperate attempt to pressure him.

Because even despite all of Merlin's charms and occasional wisdom, he was still the same clumsy idiot he had met in the market streets all those years ago. And that's all he was in the eyes of most people - a clumsy, overly cheerful and oftentimes insolent servant.

"Ladies of the court, some of your knights, and even Gwen…no one is quite immune to his charms. In fact, I once thought myself attracted to him as well," she promptly revealed, leaving him utterly speechless. "I’m just saying, it’s only a matter of time until he finds himself in a much more comfortable arrangement than the one he would find with you. So if you don’t make your intentions clear soon enough, you might end up losing him forever.”

He knew what she was doing. Arthur didn’t know what Morgana could possibly gain from it, but he could feel his strings being pulled by her and he hated that it was working. Soon enough he was consumed by an infuriating jealousy that reddened his cheeks. It’s not like he hadn’t noticed it himself before. He could see the way Lancelot used to look at him, the same way Gwaine did too before he was banished…though he suspected the two still met regularly on the outskirts of town. Not to mention that one time they stopped by a tavern after a nice hunt and even the barmaid paid him a compliment. And Merlin didn’t do much to divert attentions either. In fact, he even seemed to enjoy it, seeing as he regularly flirted with at least half of Camelot.

It had become clear to him that, if Merlin's charms were as noticeable as Morgana claimed them to be, he had to do something about it. And he had to do it quick … before somebody else did.   

Chapter Text

On the rare occasions when he managed to get a free night from Arthur’s constant nagging and Gaius’ tedious shores, he would often take a ride to a tavern on the outskirts of Camelot to visit his old friend, Gwaine. Like many who defied nobles, Gwaine had been unfairly banished by Uther while defending him from bandits disguised as knights. He had always felt guilty for the incident, but he knew that, no matter how many times he pleaded to Arthur, no one could persuade Uther to go back on a sentence when he had made up his mind.

But Gwaine was never a fan of royals, nor laws for that matter, so he would happily risk banishment again for a jar of ale with him. And if Gwaine was willing to risk it, why wouldn't he be too? After all, he was in much need of a break from everything that was going on in Camelot. If anything, it would help to clear his head. So after leaving a note to Gaius, he began riding on his way to the tavern. For all the times Gaius lied about him being there, he deserved a chance to find out what he was actually missing out on. 

"Merlin!" A cheery voice called from a table in the corner of the tavern as soon as he walked in.

"Gwaine!" He greeted back, equally excited to finally be able to spend the night with his friend.

“So you finally managed a day off, huh?” Gwaine promptly asked as he took his seat, swiftly passing him a tankard of mead.

“Not exactly,” he answered vaguely, advoiding his piercing gaze.

"What was it then? Had a bad fight with the princess?" He teased with a wicked grin. But the mere mention of Arthur's nickname was enough to make him wince and start recalling all the embarrassing events that led him here. "God, did he sack you?" Gwaine asked in a more serious tone, after noticing his pitiful expression. 

"No, though I suppose I should be thankful for that," he muttered as he looked down at his mead.  

"Oh, it was that serious, huh? Want to talk about it?" He offered with a sympathetic look.

But Merlin didn't feel like taking on his offer. In fact, he didn't wish to talk, or even think, about Arthur for the rest of the night. That night was about him and Gwaine alone. After all, he deserved to spend his only night off without thinking of the prat.  

"Not really," he replied absentmindedly as he fiddled with the handle of his tankard.

"Fair enough. I suppose we can drink to it, then," Gwaine suggested, raising his glass and encouraging him to do the same. 

So he let out a chuckle and joined him in taking his first sip. Perhaps, it had been a good idea coming down here tonight. If there was a friend he could always count on to cheer him up even on the toughest of days, it would be Gwaine.

"What about you? What have you been up to?" He asked in an attempt to turn the focus on his friend. "Nothing good, I assume," he teased as he took another sip of his mead.

He could also always count on Gwaine to fill him up with wild tales to distract him from his own chaotic life. And surely, after many tales of tavern brawls and thrilling bets, as well as a few more tankards of mead, his messy life almost started to seem dull in comparison. But no matter how captivating his tales were, his mind always kept coming back to Arthur…to the point where even Gwaine noticed his distracted state.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened or am I to sit here with you sulking all night?" He gently pressed.

It was clear he hadn't been the best company and he suddenly felt guilty for not making the most of his short time with his friend.

"I'm sorry I am not better company tonight," he said with an apologetic smile.  

"Come on, whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Gwaine attempted to comfort him.

"Oh, believe me, it was," he let out with a chuckle as he took another sip of his mead, "In fact, if I told you, you'd probably laugh at me."

"I won't," he faintly promised and Merlin fixed him with a disbelieving glare. "Try me. Come on, I've been entertaining you with tales of my misadventures all evening. It's about time you tell me what's been going on with you."  

He hadn't meant to bring up his situation with Arthur, but Gwaine was right. After he had spent the whole night telling him about his less than perfect adventures, it was only fair that he shared in his embarrassment. And, perhaps it was the mead starting to sink in, but that didn't seem like such a bad idea. Because if anyone would be able to advise him on the matter, he figured it would be Gwaine. So he decided to take his shot.

"Have you ever been…tempted to kiss another man?" He began, not really knowing how to approach the subject. "A friend, a male friend…a friend you had for a very long time but you never really allowed yourself to see him in that way before?" 

"I can say I have," Gwaine replied playfully, sending him a flirtatious glance.

"Really, I mean it," he insisted, wanting him to take the question seriously.

"So do I," he said with a teasing grin.

"Alright, then," he conceded, knowing that was as serious as he would get with Gwaine. "And…have you ever accidentally kissed another man?" 

"Usually it's very intentional, but I suppose we could call it a drunken accident," he answered with a devilish grin, shamelessly winking at him. 

"Good,” he sighed, ignoring Gwaine’s blatant flirting, “cause I really don't know who else to talk to about this. So, me and Arthur-" 

"Oh, I see, so this is about the princess…" Gwaine realised with mock disappointment.

"So, me and Arthur sort of…kissed," he continued anyway, before he could lose the courage to admit it.

"Finally! Congratulations, Merls!" He greeted him with an unexpectedly strong pat on the back that nearly knocked him out of his seat. "So, how did you finally manage to get the princess to admit his feelings?" 

"I…I didn't," he said hesitantly, leaving Gwaine with a confused expression. "In fact, the first time I kissed him we were in the middle of a fight and then when he was trying to talk about it I just… kissed him again," he sheepishly admited, realising how foolish that sounded.

"You have some serious guts, my friend," he let out with a chuckle as Merlin pouted and fixed him with a glare. He knew that, despite his promise, Gwaine wouldn't be able to hold it in once he heard the full story. "Oh, don't worry, that's not that bad. I've done way worse after I had one too many jars of mead," he quickly reassured him with a supportive grin.

"But I wasn't on mead, or cider, or anything for that matter. I don't know what came over me." Actually, he knew exactly what came over him, but he was trying his best not to think of his quarrel with Morgana. "I've always had feelings for him of course, but I would never think to act on those feelings. I know how completely inappropriate that would be…"

“Believe me, if you had me by your side back in Camelot, you two would have already done way more than kissing…but instead you’re here, keeping me company, so I can’t really complain either,” Gwaine mused, his voice laced with the familiar warmth that came after a few tankards of mead.

“Yeah, we’re having a good time. In fact, I think this is the most fun I’ve had in weeks, without Arthur or Gaius constantly bossing me around. So who cares what Arthur thinks?” He said as he dared to chug another tankard of mead that he knew he would regret in the morning. 

“I certainly don’t,” he grinned, happy to see his friend finally loosen up.  

But the more he drank, the more he thought about Arthur. His soft lips, his stupid face, his adorably crooked smile, even the dumb way he said his name…The truth was, spell or not, he couldn't keep that prat out of his head…no matter how hard he tried.

"You know, I really screwed things with Arthur. He may be a huge prat and a dollophead, but he's my dollophead and I do love him." That was the last thing he heard himself saying before someone called for another round.

The rest of the night passed in a blur.

The following morning he was woken by the blinding sunlight that escaped through a poorly closed window and the distant sound of glasses clanking together. Merlin didn’t remember the last time he was that drunk, or much of what happened last night for that matter. The last thing he remembered was Gwaine passing over another drink. But as the flickering light forced him to open his eyes, he realised that he found himself in an unfamiliar room, nothing like his chambers. Suddenly he felt a panic rush over him. He was supposed to be back in Camelot by now. He tried to gather the strength to stand up and get a better grasp of his surrondings, but he quickly realised that wouldn't be an easy task. Much less with his pulsing headache that had just started to kick in.

While he was still holding onto the wall and grabbing at his head, his legs more uncooperative than they had ever been, Gwaine thankfully walked through the door with a winning smile and was quick to give him a hand once he spotted his disoriented look.  

“Easy there, buddy,” Gwaine said as he wrapped a comforting arm around his torso and drapped his own arm over his neck. “If I had how much you had to drink last night, I wouldn’t be able to stand for days,” he joked.

He couldn’t help but smile back at him. After all, he was just glad to see his friend again after such a long night. Still he was shocked by what he had just said. How could he have possibly outdrink Gwaine himself? Gwaine? How could he have been so careless?

"Where are we?" He asked shakingly, still trying to figure out how he had end up there.

"Oh, the innkeeper owed me a favour so she let us crash here," he explained.

The room was rather small and cramped with cleaning supplies, likely a backroom of the tavern itself. And judging by the drunk man still slumbering a few feet from him, they weren't the only ones she allowed to stay there overnight.

"What happened last night?" He felt the need to ask, seeing as his memory was still in a jumble and his headache wasn't properly helping either. 

"Oh, nothing you should be ashamed about," Gwaine reassured him, "Of course, you went on and on about Arthur…which got tiring after a while. But you also sang a few songs for us. You have a lovely voice, by the way. Oh, and then we made out for a bit."

"We did what?!" He asked in complete shock. Surely he would remember making out with Gwaine.

"Ah, I'm just teasing ya," he admitted with a cheeky smile, "It would've been fun, though."

"Maybe next time," he joined in with a chuckle. 

But as much as he loved joking around with Gwaine, he knew that their time together was coming to an end. And, as he was finally able to stand up properly and gaze at the window, he was startled by how high the sun already was and how late he actually was to meet with Arthur. 

"God, it's so late, I should already be back in Camelot. Arthur must be looking for me," he said in a panic. "I shouldn't have drunk that much. What was I even thinking? How could I have been so stupid?"

"It's alright," Gwaine said warmly as he gently rubbed his back, "we all have our first hangover after a heartbreak."

"No, that's not what this is about," he replied defensively.

"Isn't it?" Gwaine teased with a wicked glint in his eye.

But he didn't have the time to retort back before a man, he was sure he had never met before, unexpectadly took him by the arm to pull him closer.

"Hey man, I really hope you and your princess are able to work it out," the man began hoarsely, his breath still smelling of ale, "She really doesn't know what she's missing out on."

From the corner of his eye he could see Gwaine trying to hide the biggest grin, he loved to be proved right. But that wasn't proof of anything. He was just a drunk man with a good imagination, who had clearly overheard some of their conversation earlier.

"Thanks…man," he replied hesitantly, not really knowing what to say to the poor man.

But the drunk man simply nodded absentmindedly and went on his way.

"What was that all about?" He knew he would regret it, but he had to ask.

"Oh, yeah, by the end of the night pretty much all the tavern folk knew about your situation with Arthur," he explained. "So I told them you were in love with a princess from a far away kingdom named Arthuria. Only to preserve Arthur's reputation, of course." 

"Of course," he nodded along, knowing full well he didn't care at all about Arthur's reputation. He just thought it was funny. 

"But, it's alright, everyone was pretty supportive actually. They just want you to find your happiness," he added, overly pleased with his lie.

"I'm sure they do." Everyone seemed to, perhaps a little bit too much.    

But this wasn't the time to feel bitter about Morgana's little trick again. He had to focus all his energy on getting back to Camelot, getting back to Arthur…before he wanted to sack him for good. The only problem with that being, of course, the fact that he could barely stand and the thought of getting back on his horse was enough to make him nauseous. 

"God, I really should be going. I have to get back to Arthur," he quickly reminded himself. 

"Are you sure you can't manage another day off? You really shouldn't be going anywhere in this state," Gwaine said with a concerned look.

"No, I'm already on thin ice with Arthur as it is. If I start disappearing into taverns in the middle of the day, he might come get me himself," he replied in a panic, fearing that Arthur may already be on his way.

But despite Gwaine's best attempts to stop him, he kept on walking towards the door, taking a few miserable steps on his own. 

“This is really that important to you, huh?" Gwaine faintly asked, after realising how eager he was to get back. "Come on, I'll take you there.”

"But you can't," Merlin reminded him. Sometimes he seemed to forget about his whole banishment situation. 

"Oh, come on, what are they going to do? Banish me twice?" He joked.

Gwaine knew as well as he did that it wouldn't be banishment he would be risking, that if Uther found him in his land again, he would have him executed. But he couldn't seem to dissuade him from coming, so he leaned on to him as they slowly made their way to their horses. It wasn't the first time Gwaine was more than happy to risk his life for him, but he knew he would do the same for his friend.

But as they got to the stables, it became clear that he was in no condition to ride on his own. So Gwaine kindly offered to take them both on his horse, tying the reins of Merlin's horse to the saddle of his own so he could follow after them. Gwaine made sure to ride at a steadier pace than he normally did to not make Merlin feel any more nauseous than he already was, but he still felt the need to hold on tightly to Gwaine, afraid he might fall of his horse.  

But, all in all, the journey back home wasn't as unpleasant as it seemed set out to be. It was a beautiful spring morning and Gwaine made sure to keep him entertained all the way through by telling him all about the incredibly detailed backstory he had made up for his epic romance with the so-called princess Arthuria. It was an exciting tale filled with arranged betrothals, thrilling duels and dangerous quests. Overall, a good distration to keep him from thinking about how mad the real Arthur was going to be once he finally caught his eyes on him.

“This is as far as I go, my friend,” Gwaine informed as he practically dropped him off at the gates of the palace.

“Thank you, Gwaine. You’re a lifesaver," he said, not fully able to express his gratitude for everything he had done for him. 

“Anytime," Gwaine simply answered with a fond smile.

"I wish you could stay,” he softly confessed, not really ready to say goodbye to his friend.

"Me too," he admitted. "But hey, if you ever get fed up with the princess, you know where to find me,” he added with a playful wink.

“Just about any tavern in Angard?” Merlin teased. 

“Just about,” he replied fondly as he got back on his horse to continue his journey.

And, though he was already late, he stayed by the gate to watch as his friend slowly disappeared into the path that led to the woods. He couldn't wait to see him again. 

Chapter Text

Arthur didn't sleep much that night. He couldn't stop tossing and turning in bed, thinking about where Merlin was or what he was doing…or who he was doing it with. It wasn't the first time Merlin disappeared off without warning. After all, Merlin wasn't exactly known for being the most reliable servant. But it was the first time that it happened because of him and, the thought that he had unwillingly pushed Merlin away, was eating him up inside.

So, when it became clear that it was poitnless to attempt to sleep, he got up and sat at his desk. It was as good a time as any to start devising his plan to win Merlin over. He would start by arranging a nice hunting trip, just the two of them. It would be the perfect opportunity for them to properly talk about Merlin's most recent inappropriate, yet alluring behaviour. He could even have the kitchens prepare some food for them to bring along. It wasn't a picnic if there was a manly hunt first, right?

Anyways, the sun was barely out and he already had much to prepare. So he quickly put on one of the clean tunics Merlin had layed out for him and set out to inform the kitchen maids and the stablehand of the upcoming hunt.

Soon enough, all the preparations were in place. But as usual there was something, or rather someone, missing.

Where the hell was Merlin?  If they didn't leave soon, they would miss the best of the morning light.

Usually Merlin's tardiness wasn't anything to worry about, he always turned up sooner or later. But, when the sun was already high in the sky and there was still no sign of him, Merlin's abcense started to weigh on him. What if something had happened to Merlin while he was gone? Or worse, what if he didn't want to come back at all?

Arthur simply couldn't bear the thought of it. He had half a mind to ride out and go fetch him himself, but instead he headed out to the battlements to get a better view of the citadel, waiting for his nest of raven hair to show up in the horizon. But he wasn't ready for what he was about to see.

It was Merlin, alright, but he wasn't alone. He was riding with another man - on the same horse! Not that he was in shortage of one, of course, as he could clearly see Merlin's horse following right after them. And it wasn't just a friendly ride too, seeing as Merlin was fiercely holding onto the man as if his life depended on it. 

What is worse is that, once they got closer, he could perfectly recognize the handsome stranger with luscious hair. It was Gwaine, recklessly marching into the gates of Camelot to deliver his careless servant incredibly late after, what he could only assume to be, a reckless night of drinking at the tavern. That would explain why Merlin seemed to be spending an awful lot of time there lately.     

He couldn't believe it…Morgana was right. He had given Merlin one night off, one night, and the first thing he did was run straight into the arms of another strong man, and Gwaine at that. Gwaine wasn't even supposed to be here. He was banished, after all, he shouldn't be getting anywhere near Camelot, or Merlin for that matter. He could have him arrested for that…but he wouldn't. He had to remind himself that Gwaine was a friend, a good friend in fact, even if good friends shouldn't really be going around on morning rides with said friend's manservant. And, as if that wasn't enough, Merlin lingered by the gates to wave him off like a soldier's wife. 

He felt like a such a fool now. How could he think that Merlin would ever be interested in him? How could he ever think that when Merlin could so easily get his way with just about anyone at the tavern? Granted, he was probably more refined than any of the folks at the tavern. He was a prince, after all. But that also meant that all he could ever offer him would be glances across a crowded room, and that clearly wasn't enough for Merlin anymore. 

God, he had even arranged a romantic hunting trip and everything. What was he thinking? Merlin didn't even seem to like hunting all that much. So he headed back to his desk and started scribbling over his picnic hunting plans. He wasn't sure if he could stand the sight of Merlin for the rest of the day, so he started writing a list of chores that were so long and so monotonous, that would surely make him regret ever running off on him like that. 

And just when he was about to finish, Merlin came running into the room out of breath, his hair a mess and his cheeks adorably flushed from the run upstairs. But, instead of apologizing or even pretending to have a reasonable excuse for his lateness, he simply took one look at him and uttered with a genuinely shocked expression, "You're dressed!" 

Despite Merlin's surprise, he was quite capable of dressing himself, not that he should be the one to do it. But alas, he had Merlin as a servant so he had gotten used to it. Still, it was Merlin's job to do it and he shouldn't be dressing, or rather undressing, anyone else in his spare time.

"Not thanks to you," he retorted, looking up from his desk.

"I'm sorry, I was-" Merlin began apologetically, not being able to meet his eyes.

"I don't want to hear all about your night at the tavern," he said as he shot him a disapproving glare. He really didn't wish to know the details, but there was one thing that was still bugging him. "Now, tell me, Merlin, is there something wrong with your horse?"

"M-My horse?" The raven asked with visible confusion. God, he was so cute when he was confused.

"Yes, cause if he's ill or underperforming I should inform the stablehand. Or, I could always get you another one, of course."

"No, my-my horse is perfectly fine. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, really? Because I got up early this morning and when I passed by the stables-"

"You got up early?" He asked, his eyes wide in utter disbelief.

And, once again, Merlin's surprised tone was utterly infuriating.

"That's not the point. Now, where have you been? And why were you riding on Gwaine's horse?" He pressed, hoping the next thing that came out of Merlin's mouth wouldn't be a lie. He didn't mean to include that last part, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. He had to know.

"Oh, that? That was only because I was…I had been-" Merlin mumbled incoherently, once again avoiding his gaze.

"-on the cider? Yeah, I can tell," he snapped back, once it was clear he wouldn't get a straight answer from Merlin. He knew he had been drinking, that much was clear. And the wine stain on his neckerchief was only further confirmation of that. But his hesitance to mention his companion was only worsening his suspicions.

"You see, Merlin, this is why I don’t give you more time off. You’d just spend your days aimlessly wasting yourself at the tavern." And with Gwaine, no less. He couldn't help the bitterness in his tone. Merlin and him had no previous engagement, he had no real reason to be upset by it, but he felt betrayed all the same. He supposed he should be thankful that at least this time he didn't have to be the one to pay their bill.

Arthur slowly stepped away from his desk to get a closer look at his manservant, placing a firm hand on his shoulder as he carefully studied him. His raven hair was a curly mess and his cheeks were still slightly coloured pink. He had half a mind to ruffle his hair into place, but instead he pulled away. The man could barely stand up straight, his tigtht grip on his shoulder seeming like the only thing to hold him together in that moment. It was clear he had had a rough night and, deep down, he was just glad to have him back safe…even if Gwaine had to be the one to bring him home.   

"But, don’t worry, I know just the thing that will help sober you up," he began with an amused grin, getting ready to see Merlin's face after handing him the long list, "You may start by mocking out my horses, then you can move on to polishing my armour…in fact, I have compiled you a list."

Merlin's dumbfounded expression was just as satisfying as he thought it would be.

“That’s…very organised of you, Sire,” Merlin said with poorly-disguised shock. 

That would teach Merlin his lesson. But there was no reason why he shouldn't still enjoy a nice hunt, at the very least it would help to clear his head of the whole Merlin and Gwaine situation. So he started to put on his brown leather jacket to go on his way, oblivious to the fact that Merlin was now right behind him, ready to promptly ignore his chores and join along. 

“Where are we going?” Merlin asked, somewhat confused.

“I am going on a hunt. You may stay here and finish your chores,” he said as bluntly as he could.

“But…won’t you need me there to accompany you, Sire?” Merlin asked, suddenly sad to not be coming with him.

“No, there’s no need for that. I’m sure the knights can find another beater boy suitable enough to replace you. Besides, you always end up startling the animals with your shifty moves.” 

Merlin seemed oddly sad not to be able to join him, which was weird considering he always spent half the time complaining during their hunts. But perhaps he was wrong, perhaps he liked those hunting trips more than he cared to admit and maybe he would've liked the one he had especially planned for them. As he was leaving the room, he almost felt sorry for leaving Merlin behind and he was close to inviting him back, but then he  was suddenly reminded of the reason he wasn't going and a new flash of anger rushed over him. 

"Oh, and tell your little friend that if he ever comes near the citadel again, my father will have him executed," he hissed as he grabbed the last of his supplies and exited the room.

Perhaps that was a bit too harsh. Obviously he didn't wish any harm on Gwaine, no matter how annoying he could be at times. But there was something about picturing him with Merlin that simply made his blood boil. So he quickly headed outside, before he could say anything else that he might regret later. Hopefully, the morning hunt would help him clear his head.

After Arthur left his chambers in a rush, Merlin was left standing alone in the middle of the room staring at the long list like a fool. It didn't make any sense. Arthur had just gone hunting a few days ago, even the poor animals deserved a break. And, besides, even if he wasn’t a fan of hunting, that never stopped Arthur from dragging him along before.

No, Arthur was clearly upset about something, and it didn't seem to be just his usual tardiness. What could he have done for Arthur to be so mad at him? He had done nothing wrong, apart from kissing him two times unannounced, of course. He also couldn't make sense of all the weird questions about his horse and the fixation with his ride with Gwaine. Could Arthur be…jealous? No, that was ridiculous. But it did explain his sudden hostility towards Gwaine.

And, as he looked further down the list, his suspicions were confirmed. He found that it was mainly composed of monotonous tasks that would take him very long and purposely keep him far away from the castle for most of the day. At least he didn't have to go on the stupid hunting trip, he had always hated hunting anyway. But Arthur better not go and get himself killed on that hunt, or he would be the one to hunt down his royal ass.

As he headed down to the laundry room to tackle his first big task of the day, he crossed paths with Gwen in the hallway. A part of him was hoping that she didn't see him. He really didn't want to face her after his fight with Morgana last night, because he knew she would somehow convince him to forgive Morgana as she always did and he also knew he couldn't stay mad at Gwen for long. But he soon realised that, as big as Arthur's basket of laundry was, he was far too tall to hide behind it. 

"Oh, hello, Gwen," he embarrassingly greeted her after his giant basket of laundry fell straight to the ground. 

"Hi, Merlin," she greeted back as she rushed to the floor to help him pick up Arthur's clothes. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," she began apologetically, "we never should have meddled with your relationship with Arthur. And Morgana may be too proud to admit it, but she does feel terrible about your fight last night."

Morgana may feel bad about it, but he wasn't going to forgive her until she came to him and apologized.

But then her dreaded line came. "It pains me to see you two like this. Promise me, you'll talk about it?"

And how could he ever say no to Gwen?

"Alright, I promise," he conceeded. "And I know I will eventually forgive her as usual, but I just need her to feel guilty for a little while longer," he joked and Gwen softly laughed in relief.

"I'm glad," she offered him a warm smile. "Do you think you'll be able to fix things with Arthur?" 

"Oh, I'm sure we will work it out. But, in the meantime, he's keeping me quite busy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a list of long and tedious chores to get through," he regrettably announced as he got up from the ground with his basket fully loaded again.

"A list? Sounds daunting," she joked in a compassionate tone.

"That's right, he made a list. I didn't even know he could do that," he said in surprised tone. As tired as he was, he couldn't miss a chance to poke fun at Arthur. "That's how committed he is to avoiding me."

Gwen let out an amused chuckle.

"Would you like some help with that?" She offered, as she handed him a sock that he had forgotten on the floor.

"Oh, I was just planning on using magic," he blatantly admited, "but chores are always more fun with company, so I suppose you can tag along if you have nothing more interesting going on. I tell you, Arthur's socks that's the really exciting part."

Gwen let out another sweet laugh as she helped him carry the laundry the rest of the way. Arthur's chores would certainly be less dull with Gwen alongside him and, with just a little bit of magic, he could even have them all done before he returned. He no longer cared for whatever weird mood Arthur was in, he was simply determined to show him just how good a servant he could be.    

The morning hunt did nothing to clear his head. He couldn’t get a hold of his aim. He could barely concentrate. All he could focus on, all he could think about was… Merlin. He was haunted by the memory of his soft lips on his, by everything about him really. His soulful blue eyes, his cheeky smile, his ridiculously sharp cheekbones, even his stupid neckerchief…it was sickening and it just made him feel like a lovestruck girl all over again. Usually that lovable idiot was always at the back of his mind, but ever since Merlin’s gesture, ever since he knew he had a chance…he couldn’t seem to think of anything else. And the thought that he had just pushed him straight into Gwaine's arms only made it worse.

Thankfully, they were already back at the palace, where he would easily find some other pressing duty to distract himself with. So he quickly climbed up the stairs with his crossbow still in hand, determined to not lay eyes on his manservant for the rest of the day. But, as if his thoughts had summoned him, there he was, waiting for him at the top of the stairs with a stupid smile on his face.

"Merlin! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be finishing up your chores?" He asked, knowing full well he shouldn't be anywhere near to finishing them.

“I’ve already finished my chores," Merlin replied eagerly, still wearing that suspiciously proud smile on his face. 

But that was impossible. He was only out hunting for a few hours and it should've taken Merlin at least half the day to finish everything he had put up on that list.  Surely, Merlin hadn't suddenly become the most efficient servant in all the five kingdoms overnight. 

“All of them?” He asked, fixing him with a look of disbelief. 

“Yup. Everything on your list,” Merlin simply answered with a grin, looking overly pleased with himself. 

Arthur didn't know if he should be worried or genuinely impressed. Merlin had definitely never been that efficient before. But he really didn't have anything else planned for him. Those chores were supposed to last him all day. So now he needed to think of something, anything to keep Merlin busy and away from him for just a few more hours, so he could make sense of his thoughts.

“Good, congratulations Merlin, you’ve actually done your job for once," he said in a mocking tone, trying to hide the fact that he was genuinely impressed. "Now, could you please go into the lower town, I need you to fetch me some-” 

"Arthur," Merlin called out his name in the overly earnest tone that always caught his attention.

Thank god Merlin interrupted him, because he really had no idea where he was going with that sentence.

“I’m not a fool. I know what you’re doing, Arthur,” he continued in a tone that was far too bold for a servant to address his prince.  

“And what is that? Asking you to do your job?” He retorted back, hoping to deflect Merlin's scrutinizing gaze.   

“You’re avoiding me," Merlin said bluntly. "Now, if this is about what happened yesterday, I…” 

He couldn't believe it. Was he really being that obvious? No one else seemed to see through his prince facade, but somehow Merlin could always read him like a book. Still, he couldn't believe that Merlin was really bringing that up now. Were they really about to have that conversation? He wasn’t ready to have that conversation. Not now, not here in the courtyard, where everyone had eyes on them.  

“If you speak of that regrettable incident again, I’ll make sure you spend the next month in the stocks,” he threatened with a finger pointed at him.

He didn't mean to say that. He didn’t regret it, of course, he didn't regret it. In fact, he had been longing for it just as much as Merlin had. He was just trying to convey to him that this was hardly the time or the place to have such a private conversation. But the damage was already done.

“The only regrettable thing about it is the fact that you kiss like a girl,” Merlin instantly fired back, tightening his lips right after.

I do not. In fact, he had kissed many girls who would disagree with that statement. Not many, a respectable amount. Now that he thought about it, probably just one or two. Besides, what did that even mean? At that moment, he knew that Merlin was probably just shooting back meaningless insults to get back at him for saying he regretted it. But still, he couldn’t stand the fact that he had left Merlin with that impression, to the point where he felt tempted to kiss him on the spot just to prove him wrong. But he couldn’t do it, not in the courtyard with all eyes on them.

“Oh, yeah? How about I pound you like a boy?” He replied thoughtlessly, immediately regretting the words as they came out of his mouth.

Merlin simply stared at him with wide eyes and tried his best to hide a naughty grin. All hope that the double meaning in his words would fly over Merlin's head was gone and he could feel his face instantly heat up with embarrassment.

“That’s…that’s not what I meant. You know that," he attempted to brush it off. But it was already too late. 

“Whatever you say, Sire,” Merlin replied overly amused, no longer making an effort to hide his wicked grin.  

"You really need to stop spending so much time with the folks at the tavern, Merlin, you’re getting a filthy mind,” he said as he quickly headed inside to avoid being further shamed in front of the guards at the door.

"Arthur, wait," Merlin said as he followed right after him, once again not getting the message that he wanted to be alone. "I really think we should talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about, not here," he brushed him off, but still Merlin insisted on talking about it right in that moment. So he had no choice but to push him into a hidden alcove, where they could settle it, away from the eyes of prying maids and passing guards. 

"Fine," he hissed, once he made sure no one was around to hear them, "what is it you want to say?"

"I know it was a mistake, that it was completely innapropriate for me to do it, and I…I should never have done it but…" he began apologetically, but then he trailed off, "I just don't want this to ruin our friendship."

He wasn't sure what he should say, but he had to say something. He didn't want Merlin to think that it was a mistake. 

"It's alright. I understand," he whispered softly, trying his hardest not to kiss him on the spot. He wanted to settle all his doubts, he wanted to start kissing him and never stop. But he had to remind himself that he couldn't, not here.

"You do?" Merlin asked with genuine surprise.

I feel the same. Say it. 

"You have led a sheltered life, you have no social skills and you probably don't get to meet many girls on the job either. It's only natural that you would-"

Why did I say that?  WHY?! 

His words always seemed to betray him at the worst possible moments, but perhaps he could still salvage it.

"You're unbelievable!" Merlin snapped back with understandable outrage.

"I suppose you have a better explanation for your behaviour, then?" He asked, desperately hoping that he did.

Please do. Please do. Please do.

For a moment, Merlin seemed like he was going to open his mouth to say something else, but then he closed it back again. "No, that must be it, Sire. I'm just a very sad lonely servant," he confessed with a sizeable hint of sarcasm. "But I realise now how out of line that was and I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

And he was a very sad lonely prince, but it didn't have to be like this…it shouldn't have to be like this. He knew that was the correct way to handle things, that the best outcome for both of them would be to return to the status quo, but nothing about it felt right. 

"Good," he said, betraying every ounce of his being, "I'm glad we cleared that up, then."

But it wasn't good, it wasn't good at all. He wasn't sure if he could handle never tasting Merlin's lips again, never being able to hold his hand,…never being more than prince and servant.

"Right," Merlin said with watery eyes, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I should go see if Gaius needs my assistance."

"Right, you may go," he replied faintly, barely being able to meet his eyes.

In that moment, Arthur suddenly realised there was no more time for planning, no more time for thinking. That being apart was hurting Merlin as much as it was hurting him and, if he wanted Merlin to know how he felt, he needed to swing into action before it was too late. And if his words betrayed him, then he would just have to find another way to show him how he truly felt before Merlin gave up on him all together and run off with another man. So it was settled, he would do it tonight, an undeniable gesture that proved to Merlin that he could be just the kind of man he was looking for. 

Chapter Text

The evening had been going smoothly. Somehow after that embarrassing conversation - though that could only be called a conversation by Arthur's standards - they were able to regain some sense of routine. Arthur was sitting at his desk, finishing reading some reports, while he was silently making his bed on the other side of the room. Still there was something off. A tension, intangible and barely there, but he could feel it and he hated it. He just wanted things to go back to normal, their normal. 

But, as he was handling the finishing touches on the bed, he noticed that Arthur's gaze had been lingering on him for a while. 

"What?" He finally cut through the silence, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"Nothing," Arthur replied dismissively as he cowardly looked away, bringing his gaze back to his reports.

It was definitely something. In fact, Arthur had been looking like he wanted to say something all night. If he didn't know him any better, he would say he was sulking, although he couldn't see why he would be. After all, he was the one who shot down his advances, so he didn't have the right to be upset by it now.

"Will there be anything else?" He asked dutifully, but this time refrained from adding my lord in fear that the other L word might escape from him again.

"No…that will be all," Arthur replied, somewhat hesitantly.

"Are you sure?" He pressed him, because it certainly didn't seem like it. 

But he simply brushed him off with a vague gesture, "Yeah, you may go."  

Once again, Arthur's tone didn't seem that convincing, but he didn't press him any further. After everything he had done in the past few days, he didn't feel like he had the right to. So he left his chambers with a lump in his throat, hoping that tomorrow things would run smoother between them. The sooner they could put this whole incident behind them, the better.

Merlin was already making his way back to Gaius' chambers, when he had the feeling that he was being followed. The palace hallways were usually safe at this time of the night, but he could never be too careful.  So he picked up one of the torches from the wall to iluminate his way, intent on catching the intruder as soon as he made a wrong turn. But, surprisingly, the perpetrator seemed to know the palace just as well as he did, no matter how many times he changed his route. So then he decided to hide in a alcove, waiting to catch him off guard as soon as he turned the corner, but when the figure revealed itself it was already too late and he had nearly swinged his torch in front of Arthur's face.

"Arthur!" He sighed in relief as he turned around to face him with an apologetic smile. 

Arthur sent him an annoyed glare as his gaze shifted between his eyes and the torch he was holding. Now that they were closer he could see he was wearing the blue cloak he had given him, the same one he used every time he didn't want to be noticeable.

"You do know Gaius' chambers are that way, right?" He said as he pointed to the opposite way he was going in. Arthur must think he's such an idiot.

"I know, I was just…" he began, but then he trailed off. He didn't owe him an explanation, after all Arthur was the one who was being suspicious. "What are you doing here? Is there something I forgot?" 

"Yes, actually there is," Arthur said with a maddening look in his eyes he couldn't quite read as he pushed him up against the wall. He looked like he was about to call him an idiot or, at the very least, give him one of his friendly slaps, but instead he grabbed him by the neckerchief and pull him in for a burning kiss.

Merlin couldn't believe what was happening. He didn't know what possessed Arthur to do that, but he couldn't complain. His kiss was firm and possessive at first, but then his hold on him softened, turning into the most tender kiss he had ever experienced. He never knew Arthur could be so gentle, underneath it all.

When their lips parted for air, they were standing dangerously close with nothing but the dimly lit torch between them and Merlin had to control himself not to run back to Arthur's lips.  

“Was that man enough for you?” Arthur teased in a rushed breath, feeling overly proud of himself.

God, he was such a prat. He wouldn't be surprised if Arthur kissed him just to prove him wrong. But there seemed to be something more. He could see it in his eyes…he was yearning for him in a way he had never seen before…And for a moment, he allowed himself to take pleasure in the fact that Arthur wanted him as much as he did. But still he didn't answer to his provocation, his ego was already big enough as it was.

"Prat," he simply mumbled inbetween breaths, returning his burning kiss with a tempting one of his own.

This was all he ever wanted, it was almost too good to be true. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't escape the feeling that there was something off. Why would Arthur be so eager to kiss him after his whole speech about innapropriate behaviour this afternoon? Why would he have so easily change his mind after insisting for things to go back to normal? He regreted that his doubts were keeping him from enjoying Arthur's kiss, so he pulled away to clear his head.

"Is there something wrong?" Arthur whispered with an overwhelming tenderness that almost melted all his doubts away. It was clear looking into his eyes that he wanted this just as much as he did. Perphaps he even wanted it too much. He seemed craving, almost possessed, or…enchanted.  

Then it hit him. What if this was just another one of Morgana's tricks? What if she had took pity in him and enchanted Arthur to feel the same? He had to have a little talk with Morgana before that could go any further.

"I…I think I should go." He tried to quickly brush him off, but the fear of rejection in Arthur's eyes was almost too much to bear. He had to get Morgana to undo it before more damage could get done.

That was the last drop. He had had enough. To play a simple trick on his feelings he could forgive, but to make him hope that Arthur wanted him in this way… that was going too far, even for Morgana.

So he burst into her chambers, intent on teaching her a lesson or two about playing with other people's feelings. But when he got there she was already settled in bed. It didn't occur to him that not everyone had the same terrible sleeping habits he did.

“Merlin!" She scolded, instantly bolting up in bed and reaching for her covers. "What the hell are you doing here? It’s the middle of the night.”

She was understandably upset, after all he had just walked into a lady's chambers in the middle of the night. But she was well aware that they had dropped all formalities the minute he agreed to teach her magic. Because titles meant nothing when they were actively commiting treason together every other night.

“Oh, I'm sorry to disturb your beauty sleep, my Lady," he said in the sarcastic tone he usually only reserved for Arthur, "But this is just getting ridiculous. I understand your life may be pretty boring right now and you crave new entertainment but that doesn’t mean you can keep messing up with mine.”

“What is this about? I said I was sorry, I really didn’t mean to mess up things between you and Arthur.”

“Don't play innocent with me, Morgana. I know what you did. So, admit it, did you enchant Arthur?" He pressed, hoping to get a confession out of her. Now that she had made the mistake of messing with Arthur's feelings, the least she could do was own up to it.

“What?” She asked in a suspiciously innocent tone. She could pretend all she wanted, but he knew she somehow had something to do with Arthur's sudden behaviour. Because, even if magic wasn't involved, he always listened to her more than anyone else. 

"Because if you did…we need to have a serious talk," he continued in the most menacing tone he could manage, "Cause, you know, I can deal with my own feelings. But when you mess with Arthur, it becomes my problem and you know what I do with my problems…”

And, before he knew it, his eyes flashed gold and he had a flame in hand. He wasn't sure what he was going to do exactly, but he had already entered his protecting Arthur mode and in that moment he was no longer speaking to her as Merlin, but as Emrys.  

“Merlin…I didn’t enchant Arthur,” she reassured him in a cautious tone.

“You didn’t?” He asked wide-eyed, instantly dropping the flame he was casting.  

“No. Why would I?” She asked with an indignated glare.

Now that he thought more about it, her motives didn't make much sense, did they? Perphaps he was just trying to find flaws in the moment to distract himself from what was happening. Wait…what was happening? It was then that he suddenly remembered what was happening before all this. He was kissing Arthur, Arthur was kissing him and he…just left him there. God, what had he done? Arthur actually liked him.

“So he actually…?” Still he needed her confirmation. 

“Yes,” Morgana nodded exasperated. 

“And you knew…?”

“Yes,” she confirmed with the same exagerated nodd.

“Oh. Oh.” Suddenly, that realisation hit him harder than any blow he had ever taken. Arthur liked him, he wanted him. He wanted him enough to risk getting caught kissing him against a wall. He couldn't believe it was true. But there was still one thing that didn't make sense about her masterplan, “But how did you know that I would-?”

“Please, Merlin. Half of the time of our so-called lessons is spent talking about Arthur. I think it’s fairly obvious you have a crush, no, an obsession, with him. And then Arthur comes in and spends the whole time talking about you. Honestly, you two were driving me insane. I had to do something.”

“So you think I actually have a chance?” He asked with a sudden hope in his tone. But Morgana didn't seem to share his enthusiasm.

“God, you two really are hopeless! I mean, to be honest, you actually deserve each other, because I’m sure there’s no one else in Camelot who could put up with whatever you two have going on," she let out with an exasperated sigh and then he tried to interject, but she wasn't done with her rant yet. "You know, I was only trying to do something nice for you. But do I get any thanks? No. Instead you just burst into my chambers in the middle of the night and start threatening me. Really, I’ve had enough with you two. So just talk, or give each other a friendly slap or do whatever it is you need to do to get it together and just…leave me alone!”

"What?" He asked, genuinely confused, after the part where she suggested they should slap each other.

"Just get out!" Morgana shouted as she pointed him to the door in an exasperated gesture.

"Oh, right. I'm really sorry about the whole…" he began apoloziging, but she didn't seem to be in a forgiving mood. "I'll just leave, then." 

As he left Morgana's chambers, he couldn't help but to lean against the door with a wide grin on his face.  All the tough knight excuses, all the friendly horseplay… Arthur liked him. He was still a clotpole, of course, but a lovable one. He had half a mind to go back to Arthur to finish what he started, but he knew he was probably fast asleep by now.

So after that he walked back to his chambers in a daze, softly landing on his bed in one swooping motion. But he was too excited to sleep, so he just lied there awake with that foolish smile still plastered on his face. All because of that dollophead…he still couldn't believe it. The rest of the night flew by while he thought about all the things he wished to say to him. He simply couldn't wait until morning to break the news to Arthur.  

When the first rays of morning came, Arthur was already awake. He was once again kept from sleeping by his stupid decisions. What was he thinking coming onto Merlin like that? It's no wonder he was so desperate to get away. And, to make matters worse, there came Merlin, on time for the first time in his life, walking into his chambers like he owned the place. Of all the days, this was the one he decided to start being punctual. 

"Merlin! Haven't you heard of knocking? You can't just turn up like that," he scolded him from a distance, not yet feeling brave enough to meet his eyes.

"And you can't keep avoiding me," he retorted with a cheeky grin as he got more close, dangerously close. 

"I'm the Prince, Merlin, you can't tell me what to do," he stated in a weak attempt to maintain his authority, even though all sense of authority he had went out the window the minute Merlin walked in.    

"I always have and I always will…" Merlin replied in a strangely tender tone that made something inside him melt. It wasn't fair that Merlin's voice alone could have that kind of power over him. And it was clear that their heated encounter last night had given him some fake sense of entitlement, so he had to put him in his place.  

"Listen, Merlin, I want to make it very clear that I still think you're an idiot, a clumsy fool and a dollophead," he said in the most firm tone he could manage, but he might as well be making a love confession. "What happened yesterday was merely a…temporary lack of judgement."

"Uh, sounds serious," he began, apparently intent on mocking him, but then he unexpectedly turned it onto himself. "You might want to have that checked, cause it could be catching. In fact, I think you might have gotten it from me. It's true I have been behaving strangely, haven't I?"

He couldn't understand why he was making it easy for him. Was this his twisted way of rejecting him with kindness? He coulnd't know for sure, but he decided to go along with it, if only to preserve the small semblance of pride he had left. 

"Yeah, that must have been it," he agreed, even though he was yet unsure of where Merlin was going with it. "Has Gaius made any developments in finding a cure for your affliction?"

"No, sorry. I'm afraid there is no cure for what we have," he replied, smiling like a fool.

It was clear Merlin wasn't referring to any ordinary affliction, but to one of the heart, to the fact that theirs ached for each other in the same way, and in that moment he couldn't help but to return his foolish smile with one of his own. They stayed like that for a while, gazing lovingly into each other's eyes, silently acknowledging for the first time what they had been denying for so long - the fact that they were completely, hopelessly in love with each other and the only cure for it was the sweet touch of the other's lips.

But their smiles soon faded once they were hit, almost simultaneously, by the sudden realisation that a love such as theirs couldn't exist freely in their world, that a prince couldn't simply start courting his servant. He shouldn't even be seen kissing him, let alone anything else. And more than ever he cursed the stupid rules that had been placed upon him since birth.   

"Look," Merlin broke through the silence first, "if that's what you wish, I'd be willing to put all this behind us so things could go back to normal and we could be just friends."

But there was no going back, not for Arthur at least. So he had to know for sure if that was how Merlin truly felt, or if he was once again just trying to make things easier for him. 

"Is that what you wish? For us to be just friends?" His voice came out more shaky than he wished it would, but he didn't think his heart could take it if that was really Merlin's answer.

"Does it matter what I wish?" Merlin let out with a defeated sigh. Merlin knew as well as he did that in their world a servant's wishes didn't count for anything. That, if a master truly wanted, he could have his servant, willingly or not. But he didn't want it, not like that. It had to be Merlin's choice.

"It matters to me," he whispered softly. 

"Look, I know it's hard for you to understand how I feel, but…I thought the impulsive kissing might have given it away," he reassured him with an amused grin as he stared into his eyes in deep devotion. But the amusement quickly left his features once he continued, "But you've said it yourself, you're a prince…we can barely be friends, let alone anything else."

He knew he had said those very words to him before, always wishing that things could be different between them. And the fact that Merlin had them ingrained in his mind ever since, proved that he had thought about it before and that it pained him just as much as it did him. But there had to be another way, one that didn't involve them running away to a farm together. So he desperately tried to think of a loophole, anything that could serve as an excuse for him to taste Merlin's lips one more time.

"I suppose we could be just friends who…kiss once in a while?" He weakly suggested, now feeling painfully aware of how stupid that sounded.

It was only a temporary solution, to be honest it was barely a solution, but it was just dumb enough to work. Now he could only hope that Merlin was as foolishly in love as him to agree to it.

"That would work for me," Merlin replied with an overly pleased smile.

"Good," he said, not being able to hide the wide grin that escaped him once he realised Merlin was willing to go along with it, "I mean there's plenty of occasions where it would be fitting for two friends to kiss, right?" 

"Yeah, totally. It could be for…comfort after a long day?" Merlin suggested hesitantly.

"Yes, or… celebration after a shared battle," he added, thrilled just by the idea of it. 

"Oh, really? Do you do that with all your knights?" Merlin teased with a cheeky grin.

"Shut up, Merlin,“ he retorted back in a much fonder tone than he intended, before leaning in for a passionate kiss.

He couldn't help it. Merlin's curled up lips were far too tempting to resist. He couldn't wait anymore, he didn't have to wait anymore…so he took his chance, determined to try a new strategy to persuade Merlin to stop talking back to him. Perhaps this would finally put an end to his insolence.  

"Is that your new way of shutting me up?" He asked with a pleased smile plastered on his lips. 

"It could be," he said with a teasing grin, jumping in for another kiss. 

"That's…pretty effective," Merlin muttered between breaths, before returning to his lips. 

He couldn't wait for them to think of more and more situations for them to kiss, until there were only a few moments throughout the day when he was away from Merlin's lips.

Chapter Text

After that day, they easily fell into a blissful routine of stolen kisses and lingering touches. What had once been new and unexpected became the norm and now Merlin got to kiss him multiple times throughout the day. They found that it was easy to come up with new reasons for them to kiss, until every little action became an invitation.

Merlin would kiss him good luck before tournaments and after long council sessions, and Arthur would kiss him in slow sunlit mornings or sneak up behind him in between chores to plant soft, gentle kisses on his neck as he folded laundry or finished up the corners of his bed. Overall, life was going great and he had even gained a new appreciation for his job.

Their days were filled with tender gestures and long hunting trips with very little hunting. But the more time they spent together, the more it became clear that their love couldn't be contained within crowded rooms and forbidden glances. And it began to show in the little things…like in the way Arthur's hand would reach to hold his when he felt his nerves getting the best of him during quests, or when their bedrolls would end up closer in the morning than they were the night before. He was sure some of the knights and guards noticed it but no one would dare to question Arthur, so none of them said a word. 

They often stayed up late in Arthur's chambers too, sometimes kissing, sometimes talking and sometimes…simply gazing at each other underneath the candlelight in this new way they had never allowed themselves to before. It was during one of those quiet nights that Merlin knew he would one day be able to tell Arthur about his secret. About that part of himself that he had always kept hidden from everyone else, but that was always meant for him, only for him. 

With time they began to explore other types of kisses too and soon enough they learned all about the softness of forehead kisses, the eargerness of neck kisses, the unexpected tenderness of knuckle kisses…until he became familiar with every part of Arthur's body. Arthur was surprisingly gentle when he wanted to be and Merlin found that he longed for that gentleness too. He may have spent most of his life in armour but more than anything he longed to be touched, to be held…to be loved…and Merlin was honoured that he got to be the one to do that.  

But the secrecy troubled Arthur more than it troubled him. Merlin was used to sneaking out, to hiding away, but Arthur wasn't. "It won't always be like this. Someday you'll take your rightful place by my side," he often promised between breathless kisses. And he believed him, not only because in those moments he would believe anything Arthur said to him, but because in those moments he could see in his eyes the great king he was destined to be. Of course, they still had to have a serious discussion about magic, but for now Merlin was just happy to have one less secret to keep from him. Because, for once, his life was going great and even the unbearable weight of destiny felt a little lighter, knowing he had Arthur by his side.

But there was still something he had to do, one person he had to thank. And he needed flowers, lots of flowers.

It had barely been a week since their secret relationship started and they were already sickeningly sweet. To outside eyes not much had changed, they were as they had always been - hopelessly in love and oblivious about it - but Morgana knew best. She could see it in the little things. In their knowing glances that were often followed by them leaving the room at the same time, in their hands brushing together at every chance they had…not to mention each of them taking every little excuse to touch the other in any way they could.  

But, in a strange way, their poorly concealed relationship had given her hope. Hope that things would change when Arthur becomes king, hope that she would one day find herself in a similar arrengement with Gwen.   

And, as annoying as they were, she had to admit that she actually missed their little visits. Her chambers had been awfully quiet without the two idiots barging in for her to solve one silly crisis after another. She especially missed when Merlin would excitedly come into her chambers in the middle of the night to show her a new magic spell he had just learned. She secretly wished he would come back to teaching her but after everything that had gone down between them in the past week she felt too ashamed to ask. 

It was a particularly quiet morning when she was surprised by a knock on her door. 

As she rushed in to open it, she couldn't help but to smile at the familiar face behind it, “Merlin!”

No matter how much she tried, she couldn't hide the surprise in her tone. They hadn't spoken much since that night when she had - rightfully - kicked him out of her room. And now he simply appeared at her door. And, not only that, but he was also carrying a giant bouquet composed of her favourite flowers, no less. 

“Hey, I didn’t forget to knock this time," he joked as he greeted her with a fond smile. "I think I owe you an apology. You know, your meddling may have gone too far, but you had only good intentions at heart. And in the end, things sort of worked out.”

“Oh, really? " She asked as if they weren't the most obvious lovers to ever court. But then she returned his warm smile, "Well, I'm glad." 

"And, if you still wanted to, I suppose I could come by sometime to show you some of the new spells I've been working on. I'm sure it's not as impressive as kissing enchantments but-"

"I'd like that…I'd like that a lot," she jumped in before he could take down his offer. She missed their little lessons and gossip sessions about Arthur more than she cared to admit.

"Well, I guess I'll see you later then," he replied with an even bigger smile than he came in with, getting ready to leave the room. 

"Merlin?" She called out before he could make it past the doorway. 

"Yeah?"  

“I want you to know that, even after everything I said the other night, I really am happy for you two. You deserve this."

"Thanks," he said fondly.

"Well, I’m not sure anyone deserves Arthur, but, hey, you chose him. He’s your idiot now," she lightly joked, because most of all she missed making fun of Arthur with him. "Speaking of said idiot, here he comes now,” she announced as she spotted Arthur coming from down the hallway.

“What were you two blabbering about?” Arthur snooped in, promptly landing a friendly slap to the back of Merlin's head.  

“Ouch! What was that for?” Merlin asked as he rubbed the back of his neck, pretending to be hurt. 

“What did I tell you about offering flowers to ladies outside of your standing?” Arthur scolded with an overly friendly grip on Merlin's bicep.

“But Lady Morgana has been helping me out a lot with my…poetry,” he blurted out unexpectadly.

Poetry? Is that what he had been telling Arthur they were doing? 

But after taking one look at Merlin, Arthur seemed to understand exactly what he meant by that. She was still confused, but she had always admired their ability to exchange entire conversations with a single glance at each other's eyes.  

“Oh, I guess I’ll allow it, then. Morgana has really proven herself quite helpful in these past few days,” Arthur conceded, getting ready to leave them alone but not without first directing another quip at Merlin. “But Merlin?"

“Yes, Sire?” He replied, overly eager.

"I’ll be needing you in my chambers right away. My…sword needs polishing,” Arthur said with a straight face, before turning on his heel and marching down the hallway.

Merlin's lips instantly curled up into a wicked grin and he suddenly looked entirely too pleased for someone who was about to do some sword polishing. Morgana internally cringed at the implications of that, sharing a horrified glance with Gwen. Arthur wasn't nearly as subtle as he thought himself to be. But what was she expecting? After all, subtlety was a word that didn't exist in either of their vocabulary.

Thank you, Merlin mouthed before hastily handing her the flowers to follow after Arthur. 

Gods, what have I done? 

She thought to herself as she closed the door behind them and tried to forget that ever happened.

“Could they be any more obvious?” She turned to Gwen with an exasperated sigh. 

“I don't think they could even if they tried,” Gwen chuckled as she reached for the flowers in her hand to put them in water. At least she still had Gwen's sweet laugh to cheer her up. “But on the brightside, at least you got your wish," she carried on with an amused grin, "I don’t think they will be bothering you any further.”

“That wasn’t my wish,” she quietly admitted.

She didn't know what compelled her to said that, but as soon as she did she knew this was her chance. If those two idiots could do it, it couldn't be that hard.

“What was it, then?” Gwen asked with a puzzled look. 

“This,” she said as she gathered all her courage and leaned in for a gentle kiss.

Perhaps it was a mistake, perhaps it was the most foolish thing she had ever done, but it was worth the risk for at least she found that Gwen's lips were as soft and sweet as she had imagined.

"I was starting to think you'd never do that," Gwen muttered with a pleased grin as soon as their lips parted.

It took her a moment to register her words, but then the realisation came. Gwen wanted this. She had been waiting for it, perhaps for as long as she did.

"You…you like me?" She asked in a dazed state. It felt foolish to ask, but still she needed confirmation. 

"Of course I do. Why do you think I keep bringing you flowers every day?" Gwen replied with a light chuckle.

"Because it lights up the room?" She suggested weakly. It was still hard to believe that Gwen had felt this way about her for so long.

"Because it lights you up, it makes you smile. I like to see you smile," she admitted with a warm smile and a slight pink blush to her cheeks. 

"I like your smile too." And your laugh, and your eyes, and your gentle hands…everything about you really. 

Morgana only realised that she had said those words out loud when Gwen leaned in and pressed their lips together into a second kiss, so tender that it made her wonder how she had lived without it for so long. She had become so absorbed with those two fools that she had missed what was right in front of her the whole time. Perhaps she was a fool too, after all.