Chapter Text
Let it be known that Dan Heng did, in fact, like his brother. They were, after all, identical twins, birthed with the same blood and same face from the same womb, always together even into young adulthood. They may no longer have the same haircut, nor (forced) to wear the same clothes, but they still willingly chose to share an apartment, and they generally got along well.
However.
However.
“Dan…Heng. Ah. Well. This is…a pleasant surprise….”
However, sometimes Dan Heng really hated the situations Dan Feng got him into, no matter how unintentionally.
The day had started out as normal as it had the past two weeks or so, meaning Dan Heng woke up sleep deprived, head stuffed under his pillow, cursing the universe for his brother’s terrible romantic life.
The night before had, just as the previous ten or more nights, been filled with a cacophony of yelling and thuds from both Dan Feng as well as his fresh new ex-boyfriend, who, for some god awful reason, was still invited over despite the relationship status.
Dan Heng didn’t think it was possible, but he actually began to miss the old days, when the yelling and thudding was from more amorous activities, rather than somebody’s imminent murder. The fact that he also had no clue whose murder it would be stressed him out even more. He’d rather not have to help Dan Feng out of jail, but he had also seen the arms on his ex-boyfriend, so it was still a 50/50.
All that is to say, by the time Dan Heng had eaten a handful of dry cereal and shuffled out the front door with books in hand, he had a headache and a bad mood. Which made the next event even more despairing.
Right as Dan Heng turned from the lock, he immediately hit a solid wall of flesh, stumbling backwards, and dropping all his books and hitting the door handle right in the small of his back. But even that pain was forgotten as he looked up into a pair of unfortunately familiar golden eyes, widened in shock.
The hallway was silent as both parties eyed each other. For a moment, all Dan Heng could think was, “ I hope he doesn’t try to hug me. ”
““Dan…Heng. Ah. Well. This is…a pleasant surprise….” Jing Yuan finally said, plastering on a smile. “I haven’t seen you in a long time, my friend!”
Dan Heng winced internally.
“ Yeah. The last time I saw you,” he thought, “ you were standing outside our dorm room looking like you were about to cry.”
Externally, he just muttered, “Yes, hello. Good to see you too…I guess.”
Clearing his throat, Dan Heng quickly swooped up his fallen books and began to speed walk towards the elevators, in the hopes that the other would leave him be.
Unfortunately, Jing Yuan, in all his six feet tall, smiling glory, easily stayed in stride, and began to converse.
“I didn’t expect to run into any familiar faces in Akvili, and definitely not the day after I moved in! How have you been, Dan Heng?”
“Been fine.”
“Ah, that’s good to hear. The apartment you were leaving…do you live next door then?”
“…Yes.”
Dan Heng felt his eye twitch at that question. This conversation was hurtling towards a thorny path. In what he hoped was a subtle enough maneuver, he abandoned the elevators and turned straight into the stairway, in a desperate attempt to escape faster.
Jing Yuan, ever the conversationalist, charged onwards. “Ah, that’s nice. I’m right next door to you then. Although…and I do hope I’m not too forward when I say this…but…based on the…lack of soundproofing in this complex, I sincerely didn’t expect someone as quiet as you to live next door to me.”
“ Well. There it was.”
And they were so close to touching the front doors too.
Dan Heng heaved a heavy sigh, stopping before the glass doors to face Jing Yuan directly. There was no way out but forward.
“No, that was Dan Feng and his ex-boyfriend. Yes he still lives with me. If you want to hear more about him, go ask him yourself. If you’ll excuse me.”
He turned to push open the heavy doors, hoping to avoid those shining golden eyes. But even through a fraction of a reflection in the glass panes, he could see the hurt expression.
Finally outside the apartment complex, he sighed again to himself before shaking his head and marching towards the bus stop.
“Dan Feng, curse you and your messy love life!”
Behind him, though, he suddenly heard Jing Yuan yell out, “Wait! Just one last question! Please.”
Stopping in surprise, Dan Heng turned around to see a, for once, unsmiling Jing Yuan, propping open a door with one leg, arm outstretched towards Dan Heng further down the street.
Noticing that he had actually stopped, Jing Yuan then asked, “Is he still with A-Ren?”
The question was quiet, and only reached Dan Heng’s ears because of the quietness of the morning street. It held a weight in the words that felt unfitting for someone as bright as Jing Yuan, in Dan Heng’s opinion.
Cursing his brother one more time in his head, Dan Heng replied, with the same solemnity, “Yes. Broken up right now, but yes.”
He wasn’t sure if his answer could even be heard from so far away, but he saw Jing Yuan close his eyes, before nodding at him with the smile back on his face and going back inside the building.
Dan Heng just stood there on the empty street, feeling a strange sense of regret for something he shouldn’t - didn’t - need to.
His revery was cut short by the buzzing of his phone in his pocket.
March 7 th : DAN HENG! I WOKE uUP LaTE WILL B LATE SORRY ;(
Right. No time to hesitate.
Despite being identical twins, Dan Feng and Dan Heng had always been different inside.
Dan Feng was, marginally, more outgoing. Dan Heng could go weeks without socializing.
Dan Feng was more brash, more likely to be the one to drag Dan Heng into new things with the overconfidence of an elder. Dan Heng avoided confrontations like the plague, and didn’t care for the unknown.
Dan Feng liked the outdoors. Dan Heng liked the library.
Dan Feng loved swimming and surfing and dancing. Dan Heng stuck to martial arts and calligraphy indoors.
Dan Feng was a bit obsessed with vanity, always buying new fashionable clothing and going out on makeup hauls with his friend Baiheng. Dan Heng wore whatever his brother tossed at him, and thought eye liner was stupid when he had to wear reading glasses.
Dan Feng liked being photographed. Dan Heng liked taking photos.
Dan Feng couldn’t cook an egg to save his life. Dan Heng made zongzi every year from scratch.
Neither of them knew how to love another properly. They had never been taught, never been shown. But Dan Heng always felt that he loved softly, quietly, while Dan Feng loved with the ferocity of a dragon.
Dan Heng was awkward, and only really talked to a select few who he kept near and dear to his heart. He held them close to his heart, a silent rearguard.
Dan Feng, on the other hand…and he hated to say this of his brother, but…Dan Feng could be cruel in his affections.
That wasn’t to say his brother was mean. Rather, Dan Feng, in his well-meaning intentions, had an unfortunate tendency of hurting the ones he loved.
It was a reoccurring line heard within his yelling matches with his boyfriend – ex – whatever- of late. Stuff about how he made decisions for the both of them without asking, how cold he was, how detached he seemed.
It could be seen in how he would buy Baiheng a set of lipsticks without checking if she wanted it. How he assumed Dan Heng would want the outfits tossed his way.
How Jing Yuan would, of course, be better off without him. Would understand.
But Dan Heng knew that, contrary to what others sometimes accused, Dan Feng didn’t do it out of lack of love. Rather, he had so much love for these beloved people that he held on too tight, too afraid to show hesitation or fear. After all, asking meant they might say no, and then where would they be?
If being self-centered could protect the soft-under belly that is loving, knowing, and being loved and known, then Dan Feng would – has – done it a million times over. There would be no such this as loss in his domain. He would protect everyone, regardless of their wishes, because it was better to do the best and keep them safe than risk losing (them).
Most days, Dan Heng acknowledged this about Dan Feng without much thought. Some nights, though, he hated it, because of the messes it caused.
Jing Yuan was their classmate in high school, someone who knew everyone, was popular and always shining under a spotlight. He met Dan Feng through his older sister, Jing Liu, who was a year older and already friends with Dan Feng.
Dan Heng was also dragged along at school, because he didn’t have any friends of his own at the time, and Dan Feng was always worried about leaving him alone.
He didn’t interact much with the rest of them, Jing Liu a bit too scary for shy young Dan Heng, Baiheng too peppy, Yingxing too much of everything else. But Jing Yuan was less intimidating, and very persistent, constantly trying to pull Dan Heng into the loop alongside his brother. He remembers being shown comics and cat videos by the excitable teen, who never seemed to mind how quiet his companion was beside him.
It made the school days a bit warmer, in retrospect. But Dan Heng never thought about it much, because in the end, his brother’s friends were still too much to handle, and he didn’t care about getting friendlier with them.
That changed a bit when Dan Feng started dating Jing Yuan during the twins’ final year of high school though.
Rumors were that at least half the school had heard about Jing Yuan’s romantic pursuit of the infamous cold beauty Dan Feng, so it wasn’t too much of a leap to hear they started dating. Most of Dan Heng’s daily life remained the same, as Dan Feng already spent weekends going to cat cafes with Jing Yuan, weekdays laughing together with Jing Yuan over lunch, and after school walking home with Jing Yuan.
Dan Heng also didn’t think much about what would change when they graduated, leaving Jing Yuan behind in Central Luofu to go to college in the city outskirts. Sure, there were some video calls and cycrane packages, but most of it was unimportant to Dan Heng. In fact, he had pretty much forgotten about his brother’s love life, until the day he returned to their dorm to see Jing Yuan in the doorway of their room, pleading to Dan Feng on his knees.
Feeling distinctly awkward, he had shuffled back down the hall and hid in the common room for an hour.
When he had bluntly asked his brother what that was about later on, Dan Feng had only said, “I broke up with him. He’s about to graduate, and I don’t want to hold him back. It’s for his best.”
Dan Heng never asked more. He knew, once Dan Feng had decided “ It’s for the best ,” there was no return. His brother would mourn to himself, silently, and move on. No one could interfere.
Three months later, Dan Feng started dating Yingxing, who now went by Ren.
Dan Feng never brought up Jing Yuan in front of him again.