Work Text:
“Hey boss, do you mind squeezing in one more appointment for today? Just had a guy call who wants to drop in for a first-time patient check-up.”
Stede sighs and looks up from his desk, briefly contemplating his very exciting plans after work: that is, ordering from his favorite sushi place, cracking open a cider (or maybe a bottle of wine, he's not picky), and binging the second season of Heartstopper (his daughter Alma had got him hooked on the webcomic and show and they had bonded immensely over it). And he’d already put off watching the new season for one reason or another. The later he got home, the less likely he would follow through.
But, of course, Stede would never turn down any patients at his vet practice, and certainly not any new patients. What if the owner had urgent questions? What if this was the only time they could get an appointment and missed out on a critical health issue?
No. Tired as he was, Stede had sworn an oath to place the health and welfare of his patients first, and if that meant putting off watching the burgeoning relationship of Nick and Charlie (and following an ace storyline!!), then so be it.
“Yes, Lucius, that’s quite alright. Did he say around when he would be in?”
“Said a quarter to six. Thought I heard traffic in the background so I let him get off the line to you know, focus on driving.”
Stede purses his lips. “Right. Did you manage to get any information on the patient?”
The receptionist hands Stede a clipboard with a nearly empty new patient form. “Not much. Basically got that the pet’s name is Lucifer—love that, by the way—and he’s a domestic.”
“A domestic—what?”
Lucius shrugs. “I don’t know? Domestic cat? I assume? I was trying to ask him that but there were a bunch of horns in the background so I don’t think he heard me too well.”
“Ah. Well, that’s alright. Let’s go with cat, I think Lucifer would be a pretty fair name for one.” He huffs a laugh. “I quite like it actually. Do you think it’s an all black cat? Or maybe something totally unlike the name like an orange tabby?”
“Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a domesticated demon.” Lucius deadpans.
“Ah! That’d be a first! Help expand the reaches of my practice, eh?”
Already though, Lucius is losing interest and has turned back to his computer. “Maybe. I could see you being good at that for some weird reason.”
“Well, give me a shout when he’s here!”
“Yup.” Stede is pretty sure he sees Lucius pulling up minesweeper as he turns to go back to his office.
It’ll only be about twenty minutes until the new mystery patient is here, so Stede does a quick check over payroll in the meantime.
He recently hired a rather odd man, a Nathaniel Buttons, who specializes in birds (and was extremely adamant about only treating birds, which does limit his scope at Stede’s clinic, but he has such a way with the bird patients they do get in that he’s decided to go with it). So he’s technically part-time. Then there’s the custodian, Pete, who Stede recently found out has been dating Lucius. Which hasn’t become an issue yet. Then there’s his vet techs Oluwande and Jim, though Jim is training to do surgeries.
So a rather small staff, but skilled and devoted, and given Stede has only recently opened the clinic, is bound to grow as his patient list does.
He’s finishing up approving schedules in the timekeeping system when Lucius ducks his head into his office, a suspicious smile on his face.
“Heyyy boss, so Lucifer and their owner are heeeere,” he draws out the last word into a higher pitch as if he knows something Stede doesn’t. “And, well, you’re gonna want to prepare yourself. Exam Room 1.” He taps the doorframe, winks, and ducks out, leaving Stede a little stunned.
Prepare himself? Is Lucifer actually a demon? What on earth could the man mean?
Oh well, best not to worry about that and be ready for anything. Stede takes up Lucifer’s clipboard and heads to Exam Room 1.
“Hell—oh!”
And is met with the most gorgeous and probably-shouldn’t-be-his-type man that Stede has ever seen. For one, the man is in pretty much all leather. Black leather pants and a well-loved leather jacket with several buckles, all of which are undone and show he’s just wearing a plain black tee underneath, though the neck is just low enough to show a hawk tattoo on his sternum, which Stede assumes is one of many. There’s a black patch in the shape of an ace of spades sewn on the part of his jacket covering the man’s heart. It’s nearly imperceptible, but Stede notices it. The shoulders are studded with dull silver spikes.
The guy has a nose ring, which, wow, for all of Stede’s insistence to Alma that she can’t get a nose ring (13 is too young, he thinks), it looks, well, it looks hot on this guy. Which is not something Stede ever thought he would be thinking. He also has several little hoops throughout his ears, which Stede is sure have specific names, but hell if he knew them.
Gorgeous silvery black hair streaming past his shoulders, slightly curly. A well-trimmed beard cropped pretty close to his face.
And fuck, those eyes. Soft, sparkling garnet, the corners crinkling adorably as the man politely smiles at Stede.
“Dr. Bonnet, I assume?”
Stede forces himself to stop gazing at the man like he’s a piece of exquisite art and holds out his hand, which the man promptly takes and shakes firmly.
Softhandssofthandssofthandssoftha—
He clears his throat and lets go, though it seems the man slowly slides his hand out of Stede’s.
Fuck. There is no way.
“Ah yes, you’ve heard of me?” His face keeps getting warmer as the man smiles and he adds, “Well, I guess of course you’ve heard of me, you called my practice after all.”
“Yeah, I actually have a mate who volunteers here, says he does file work and helps with clean-up but he mostly does it to be close to the animals. David Fang?”
“Ah, yes! Absolutely lovely fellow. We love having his help around here.”
The two exchange a smile that lights a warmth in Stede’s chest like hot chocolate after a long session of shoveling snow.
A shuffling sound comes from the box and Stede turns his attention to it.
“Ah yes, do you have Lucifer hiding in there for me?”
“Sure do. Haven’t figured out a proper carrier for him yet, but he likes boxes—“
“They do have that tendency, don’t they?” Stede adds, knowing full well the feline affinity for cubes.
The man opens the flaps and reaches in. “—but still, want to do better by the little devil.”
And pulls out a pure black rabbit.
Oh. Oh.
“Ah…Lucifer is a rabbit!”
He sets the rabbit gently on the metal exam table and raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, didn’t your secretary guy tell you?”
“Ah no, it appears you two had a very brief phone call and he wasn’t able to discern the species of your pet.”
The man shrugs. “Meh, no biggie. I figured most vet hospitals do rabbits.” He pauses, concerned for a second. “You do do rabbits, right?”
“Yes, we do rabbits. Not as many as cats and dogs, of course, but we do rabbits and a few others. I even have an employee who specializes in birds.”
“No way, really? That’s awesome. Anyway, Lu here—“ he gestures to the rabbit that has now backed up against the man’s stomach, somewhat curled up, “aww, he’s a bit shy—anyway, I had a mate who got him somehow, honestly no clue how because that man should not own any living thing, like he’s an absolute disaster and the moment I learned he had a fucking rabbit of all things I took our little devil here off his hands. I think he’d had Lu a few weeks but clearly he had no idea what he was doing and there was no way in hell I was gonna let this little guy suffer anymore. So yeah, I’ve had him a few months, basically had a major crash course in rabbit care but he’s my little guy now.” He looks down at the rabbit curled against him and smiles tenderly, reminding Stede somewhat of how he looks at his own children. It’s adorable.
“Well, I’m glad you got him out of a bad situation! How has care been going for him? Have you taken him to any clinics? If they’re in our system, I could look up his records.” Stede whips out a pen and prepares to scribble notes on his clipboard.
“Yeah, the first thing I did when I took Lucifer was take him in to get checked, literally between Jack’s house and mine. You know Dr. Evelyn Higgins? That’s where I took him.”
Stede laughs sheepishly. “Yes, I know Dr. Higgins. She’s a good friend of my ex-wife and is usually in some stage of plotting my murder.”
Another eyebrow raise and a somewhat impressed expression. “Wow, any reason why?”
Stede down at his clipboard. “Oh, I guess it has something to do with when I got married to Mary—my now ex—Evelyn was convinced I was ruining her life. And to an extent, I think I was.” His eyes darken for a moment, but then he taps the clipboard and changes his expression. “Anyway! Yes, I should be able to look up your records.” He sits down in a chair and rolls to a computer behind him. “What name would it be under?”
“Ed Teach. Er, Edward Teach.”
Stede feels like the man’s eyes are boring into the back of his skull. “Ah, here we are, Edward Teach, address 1717 Lighthouse Avenue?”
“That’s me.”
“Huh,” Stede mutters, “rather close to where I am.”
“What was that?”
Stede whips around, blushing. “Oh! I just said you seem to be rather close to where I live. A fun coincidence!” He tries and nearly fails to hide the smile growing on his face, but Ed just smiles back, and Stede stops resisting.
Ed living close to you means nothing. This isn’t a thing, Bonnet.
“Huh, nice! Anyway, how’s the record look?”
“She said the estimated age of Lucifer was about 6 months then, unsure of breed, and we’ll have a couple boosters coming up, but otherwise he’s up to date!” He swivels around and steps back up to the exam table. “Now, if our little devil here doesn’t mind, I’ll need to get his weight, heart rate, all that.”
“Yup, ‘f course.” He starts to scoot Lucifer toward Stede, but the rabbit puts up some resistance, tiny claws squeaking against the metal. “C’mon, mate, Dr. Bonnet here is a lovely guy. He’d never hurt ya.”
Again Stede finds himself blushing, though he’s sure Ed is just saying that to reassure Lucifer, who really doesn’t care what Ed says because he stays squished down, but once Ed has nudged him a foot out on the exam table, Stede softly says “I’ll take it from here,” and gently picks up the rabbit, fingers brushing just a moment with Ed’s. Annoyingly, it sends a bit of a tingle through his skin and more of a blush in his face.
Really? Freaking out at a touch of fingers? Come on.
“Alright little demon, I’ll be quick, okay?” Stede coos as he lifts Lucifer, the rabbit kicking his back legs and reluctantly being set on the scale, immediately trying to hop off. Stede gently holds him in place, laughing softly and shaking his head, until the scale stabilizes and he can record the weight.
“Weight looking healthy! What have you been feeding him?”
Stede’s jaw then drops as Ed launches into a whole explanation of Lucifer’s diet, the proportion of pellets to Timothy hay, when he feeds him veggies and other treats, and how:
“I even started up a little garden for him,” Ed says, looking quite proud. “Got a small patch in my backyard with different greens and carrots and stuff. Obviously haven’t got a lot yet, but I’m calling them my ‘tributes to Lucifer.’ He’s liked what I fed him so far.”
Stede laughs loudly, and Ed seems quite proud of himself for that as well.
“Oh, that’s genius! Have you ever owned a rabbit before?” Stede inquires, moving on to checking Lu’s heartbeat with his stethoscope, still gently holding him in place.
“Nah, never got to have a pet before. Lotta reasons, always wanted to though. But I knew if I did I would know my shit. So I’ve been doing a fuck ton of reading. Diet, basic care, enrichment, the works. Did you know they make rabbit-specific toys? And they’ve got these bowls where they have to simulate foraging to get snacks, all sorts of shit.” He laughs. “I’ve put a lot of money into this little devil, but I gotta tell you he’s been worth it, haven’t you Lu?”
The rabbit is struggling a bit in Stede’s grasp as he carefully feels around the back of his neck, and the second Stede lets go, he hops back to Ed.
“Heh, guess he’s still kinda skittish.” Lu bumps his head against Ed’s stomach and Ed scoops him up, tucking him under one arm. The way the rabbit instantly calms down and doesn’t struggle one bit in Ed’s grasp is adorable and also a little frustrating for Stede, but mostly adorable.
“Actually, would you mind holding him up for me? Just a few more checks I need to do.”
Ed does just that and Stede leans across to check Lucifer’s teeth, his paws and legs, and just under his tail. It’s quiet for a moment, until Stede looks up and notices Ed looking intently at him. A smile blooms on his face—honestly, he can’t seem to stop smiling around this man—and he averts his eyes. “Almost done here…”
“I like your pin.”
“Hmm?” Stede looks down at the couple of pins on his lab coat, specifically the circular one that says ‘World’s Okayest Dad.’ He gets a lot of laughs from that one. “Ah, thank you. My children got it for me a few years ago for Father’s Day. It’s become a bit of a joke for us now, especially since the divorce made me a better father.”
Ed shakes his head. “Nah, I mean that one’s cute but specifically the flag ones. The regular pride and the ace one? I’m actually ace too.” He taps the ace of spades patch on his jacket. “And into blokes.” This is added with what Stede is resisting the urge to call a pointed look. Because even though their preferences align (imagine that!!!), it doesn’t mean Ed is actually interested.
And surely I couldn’t go dating a patient! Well, he’s not actually a patient. Probably not good form to date the owner of a patient. Probably.
Stede starts for a moment and looks up again at Ed, who is still looking at him. Ed raises an eyebrow.
He swallows, leaning back from the exam table. “Ah, well that’s…fortunate.”
The tiniest smile quirks on Ed’s face. “Is it now?” If Stede didn’t know better, he’d say the man’s suddenly lower, huskier register of voice meant he was doing a little light flirting.
Wait, is he actually flirting?
“Uh, of course! Don’t see as many aces out in the world, so always nice to come across one.” An awkward pause. “I’m, uh, done with Lucifer by the way. He’s the absolute picture of health. You’ve done an excellent job with him.”
“Thanks mate, I try.” Silence for a beat. “Is there anything else you do for new rabbit owners? Like, don’t some vets do house checks to make sure the living space is fine?”
“Uh, some shelters do that when adopting out animals, make sure they’re going to a safe home and all that. And that's usually for cats and dogs, but for a rabbit…” Stede trails off, forcing himself to meet Ed’s eyes again. They’re inquisitive, calculating.
“I mean, you never know. I could have like, rusty nails all over the place. Or an open backyard that leads to a busy road.”
“Now, I know you don’t live on a busy road. Lighthouse is pretty much all backroad.”
Ed seems to deflate a little, hoisting Lucifer under his arm again. “Yeah, true. You got me there.”
Stede should leave it at that. There’s no reason to do a house check; he’s absolutely positive Ed would do everything in his power to keep Lucifer safe. But also, given that Ed is ace, asking him back to his house is extremely unlikely to be a sexual come-on. And maybe he just really wants to make sure he's doing well by Lucifer.
He sighs. What’s the harm? It would be good to know Lucifer has a safe home.
And maybe I’ll get to know Ed better, if he lets me.
“That said, a house check is certainly not a bad idea.”
Ed lifts his eyes to Stede again, tentatively hopeful. “Yeah?”
Stede shrugs, trying to look cool and nonchalant but probably failing. “Oh, certainly! Better safe than sorry, I always say. Good to know the rabbit’s home life.” He pauses. “And maybe get to know his owner better.” He meets Ed’s eyes again and fuck, he has no idea where this comes from, winks at him.
Turns out Ed is even more adorable when he’s blushing.
“Well, I’m sure the owner would appreciate that. He wants to be the best pet rabbit owner ever, you know.”
“Oh really? I think he’s well on his way.”
“Fuck yeah he is. And with a hot vet’s help he’s got it in the bag.”
Wait—
“I—ah, thank you! You’re—“ a quick aversion of eye contact, “you’re not so bad yourself.” He gives Ed an appreciative once over. “Not bad at all.”
Ed preens a bit. “Are you flirting with me, Dr. Bonnet?”
“Please, call me Stede. And it depends. Were you flirting first?”
“Yes. Yeah. I definitely was. I am.”
“Then yes, I am doing a poor attempt at flirting.”
“Didn’t seem so poor to me.”
“Well, I assure you I can do much better than that, you just—caught me off guard.”
“And will I get a chance to see this better flirting?” Ed damn near flutters his eyelashes—who the hell even does that anymore?—and Stede’s stomach does an almighty swoop.
He leans forward a bit. “Well, if I have anything to say on the matter, then y—“
“Hey boss, it’s 6:10 so I was gonna—oh, yes. I was soooo hoping this would happen!”
Lucius had thrown open the public door to the exam room and stepped in, causing Ed and Stede to jump back from their respective sides of the exam table, Lucifer still tucked safely under Ed’s arm.
“Lucius! I thought I told you to knock so you don’t scare patients!”
The receptionist smiles devilishly. “Mm, but I wasn’t gonna scare this sweetie pie, was I?” He steps up to the rabbit, ignoring Ed’s bristling, and gives him a few gentle strokes on top of his head. “How do you like your future step-dad? He’s not so bad once you get to know him.”
On a scale of tomatoes, Stede is pretty sure his face is looking like an overripe Jersey Boy right now, and a quick glance at Ed is showing a similar situation.
“Lucius! This is uncalled for!”
Lucius simply steps back from Lucifer, gives an absolutely diabolical and delighted grin to Stede, and starts out the door as if nothing had happened. “Anyway, was just gonna tell you I’m leaving now. Byeeee!” His voice fades out as Ed and Stede hear the back door to the clinic shut.
Leaving them in an awkward, heated silence.
“I seriously apologize for my assistant there! He’s…an absolute handful at best.” Stede chuckles sympathetically as Ed stands stiffly, Lucifer still completely comfortable under his arm.
“Anyway, let me finish up the details on your sheet here…” he swiftly takes up his clipboard and hops into the desk chair, typing furiously on the computer in stifling silence, honestly glad his back is turned to Ed so he can hide his horrified expression.
Damned Lucius! I’m really going to let him have it this time, probably scared Ed away…
“Uh, sushi?” A quiet voice from behind him. Stede twirls around in his chair.
“I—I’m sorry?”
Ed’s timid eyes meet his. “Uh. Do you like sushi? ‘Cause, well, let me back up.” He looks down at Lucifer, totally placid under his arm, then back up at Stede. “Is it, like—fuck, sorry, I’m not normally like this. Okay, so is it standard, uh, protocol, for pet owners to provide food for vets during house visits? And if so, do you—I mean, is sushi a good option? Like, it’s just a nice thing to do, right? ‘Cause you’re going out of your way and all.”
Stede gazes at Ed, absolutely stunned, probably looking not unlike Lucifer when he’s spooked.
“I—I mean…it’s not standard protocol…but it could be.”
A bit of ease returns into Ed’s eyes and he smiles a bit. “Yeah?”
“Yes. And I like shrimp tempura rolls.” He gives a warm smile and then turns back to his computer, eager to finish his work.
Well, a house check is also work.
“Noted. What about…a movie? Or something?”
Stede’s stomach does another swoop. He tries to stay focused on his computer.
Is he trying to kill me?
“Well…maybe…”
“Have you seen the new season of Heartstopper? It’s supposed to have a really good ace storyline.”
Stede covers his mouth with his hand and suppresses the urge to scream.
How is this man literally so fucking perfect?
“What was that mate?”
He'd accidentally muttered that into his hand.
Stede whips around again. “Oh, nothing! That, uh, that actually sounds perfect. Been meaning to catch the second season myself. My daughter’s been bugging me about it.”
“Really?” Ed almost looks like he just found a four-leaf clover, but then hardens his face a little. “I mean, really? That’s cool. You know. Like, food and a binge-watch. Totally normal to do for a house visit.”
“Quite.” Stede doesn’t even bother to try and temper his growing excitement and…whatever this warm, sunny feeling is he’s starting to feel around Ed. Warm and sunny and rosy, kind of like watching a beautiful sunrise, but even deeper…he’s not quite sure how to describe it.
Only one way to find out.
“Anyway, let me just finish up here, and…” He finally finishes typing in all of the appointment info into Lucifer’s new patient chart, makes sure it’s submitted, and… “Done! So,” Stede looks at where Lucifer is still completely comfy under Ed’s arm, “Wow! He really does like snuggling up to you, huh?”
Not that he’s jealous of a rabbit. Because he’s absolutely not. That’s ridiculous.
Ed beams. “Yeah, Lu caught on to me pretty well, now we’re like two peas in a demonic pod, aren’t we bud?” He leans down and gives Lucifer a kiss on his forehead and no, Stede is absolutely not jealous of a fucking rabbit.
“Well that’s excellent! Anyway…” Stede trails off for a moment. “I just need to close up here. My custodian will be around to properly clean up later tonight or tomorrow morning—I never quite know when he comes in, only he always does, thank goodness—and if you don’t mind I’d like to change out of my scrubs—“ he motions down to his bright teal scrubs, though he notices Ed’s eyes crinkle in a cute smile when he does so, “And I’ll be over to yours a bit…after seven, I should guess? If that’s alright?”
God, has Stede ever seen eyes as beautiful as the ones gazing at him right now?
“Yes, that’s alright. That is so alright. I’ll just, um—“ He carefully puts Lucifer back in his box and lightly folds the flaps closed. “Oh, shit, do I need to pay or something?”
“Actually, no! I like to make first appointments complimentary so new patients—or owners—can decide if I’m the right vet for them. It’s actually been an excellent incentive.”
Ed smiles and picks up Lucifer’s box, starting to slowly step out of the exam room. “Cool. That’s…that’s really awesome, mate. You seem just…really awesome and sweet in general.”
They both blush a little. “You’re too kind Ed. I guess you’ll find out soon enough if that’s actually true or not.” Stede gets up and follows Ed out into the lobby.
“Sure will. About seven, 1717 Lighthouse, right? See you there?”
Stede laughs warmly. “Absolutely. I’m expecting a rabbit-safe house! And also sushi and Heartstopper.”
“Trust me, you’ll get all three. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“See you in a bit.”
The two share a long, soft look before Ed steps out the front door, and Stede watches fondly as he secures Lucifer’s box in his car and drives away.
Then he locks up the clinic as quickly as possible, probably setting a personal record.
He has a very important house call to make, after all.
—
Just after seven, a caddy of drinks in hand, Stede is totally unsurprised to find that Ed’s house is a veritable Eden for rabbits and just extremely welcoming.
He’s pleasantly surprised to find a whole smorgasbord from his favorite sushi restaurant is already laid out and Heartstopper season 2 queued up.
And he’s absolutely stunned but also completely enamored with how easily he and Ed fall together, and pretty soon they're snuggled up on the couch together, Lucifer curled up on Stede's lap. Ed complains that he's not sure if he's more jealous of Stede or Lucifer, and Stede laughs and kisses him about it.
Perhaps he should do house calls more often.
At least, for Lucifer specifically.