Chapter Text
Evan was very good at controlling his breathing. He could be close to a full blown breakdown and the only way anyone would notice was if they knew him and saw the real signs. Evan was constantly anxious, looking for something stupid like erratic breathing wasn’t going to work.
He froze and looked to the left.
Evan was good at controlling his breathing. And he heard breathing he knew was not his.
Grabbing his flashlight, he snuck out of bed faster than he could blink. Evan pressed against the doorway into his room, listening closely. It was dark, getting darker every moment he held his breath. His body felt like it wasn’t even there. He couldn’t even feel his head against the wood frame or his hand gripping the cold doorknob.
He heard breathing.
Evan pulled the door close, but it was too late. The thing pushed its way inside, making a crater in the wall from the force of the door slamming back. Evan didn’t scream as the beast’s sharp, serrated claws dug into him, nailing his arms straight through skin and bone, and cuffing them like chains. He didn’t scream, but the monster did as it lifted Evan high in the air and snapped its many, many rows of teeth.
He still didn’t scream or feel anything. Not even when the claws started ripping and spilling an unfathomable amount of intestines and gore. Not when the beast opened his mouth all the way, farther than naturally possible. Its teeth were already stained red.
The only thing Evan felt was when those red teeth sunk on either side of his head, pushing down harder, taking its time snapping every bone until piece by piece started to pop out of his skull.
He remembered screaming, and he remembered thinking how that had to be impossible. He had to be dead by now.
Evan woke up to the sound of breathing.
He shot up from bed and was ready to grab his flashlight and run to the door, but he stopped. He didn’t have a flashlight. He blinked, and blinked again.
His doors were gone. There was only one and it was right in front of him, and it wasn’t his closet like it usually is. In fact, the whole room looked weird. It looked familiar, but… wrong.
Evan could still hear the breathing. He didn’t have his flashlight, the room was different, but he’s sure the rules are still the same.
He didn’t have his flashlight, so he looked around the room for something else. There were too many toys, Evan didn’t need toys. He saw a flash of gold and his breath caught in his throat. It was his bear, but seeing him made him feel sick.
He shot out of bed and threw the bear across the room, flinching when it made a loud clacking noise as it hit the wall. The breathing was loud. This was different. The new environment aside, Evan could feel again. He could see more every second. He could feel the cold in the air, the shag flooring between his toes, the way his heart slammed against his chest and pumped blood through his ears. Evan hated it. He hated how different this was. Why was it different? What else was different?
Evan didn’t have his flashlight.
There were footsteps outside his door.
Evan tripped over himself, rushing to the desk. He knocked over a jar of craft supplies, quickly grabbing a pair of scissors. He heard it fall all over the dresser and heard a shout. No, he heard the shriek of the monster.
Some things might have changed, but there were still the monsters.
His door burst open and he couldn’t feel anything again. Evan couldn’t feel the floor under his feet anymore, he couldn’t feel his heart beating or his blood flowing. He could barely see his surroundings. It wasn’t dark, but it was blurred. It was hazy and blue and hard to take in.
He could see the monster. It stood out like a sore thumb against all the fog and blue. The big yellow bear with rows and rows of teeth and glowing red eyes.
He could smell the blood. The hands dug into his flesh and he could smell every drop of blood that was spilled from his wounds. He could almost feel those claws ripping through his flesh and breaking bones, but it was distant and off. He did feel the monster holding him and lifting him up. That was no different.
The monster was screaming and Evan was just waiting for its mouth to open up and squish his head like a soft grape.
It never happened.
“Evan!”
Evan blinked, and just like that, all the haze lifted from his mind. He heard breathing, but it was fast and loud, doubled and tripled. He heard a sniffle. He turned towards the sound and saw Lizzie, standing in the doorway to their— to the room.
What was she doing here? She was never here. It was always just him, never anyone else.
Evan remembered the bear. His arm jerked without hesitation and heard a yell from above him. He looked up and saw the yellow bear from before, but he didn’t— it didn’t—
It wasn’t the monster.
He gasped and looked back down. In his hand, he held a small pair of scissors, currently half open and stabbed into a large hairy arm. Henry’s arm.
Without thinking, Evan pulled the scissors out.
Henry shouted again and dropped him, hand slapping over the wound in his arm. There was blood everywhere. It was slipping through Henry’s thick fingers and smearing all over his clothes. It was dripping into the floor at their feet. Evan could feel it soaked into his pajamas, staining his hands.
He opened his mouth to— to say something, but nothing came out.
Henry spoke for him.
“It’s okay,” he gasped, trying to speak through gritted teeth. “It looks worse than it is. You aren’t as strong as you think, hun.”
He laughed then, but it sounded tense and hurt. He lifted his hand a bit to glance at the injury, but quickly pressed down again.
“I’m going to clean this up… I’ll be back in a second.” Then, he paused. His eyes— not glowing, just the glare from his glasses— looked at Evan warily. They looked down at his hands. “Evan. Can you give me that, please?”
Evan took a minute, still trying to catch up with the situation. He just stood there for a while, unable to tear his eyes away from Henry. When he did manage to look away, his eyes dropped down to his hand. He was still holding the scissors in a loose grip. They dripped with his uncle’s blood. He noticed blood footprints as well, big and small.
He didn’t have the energy to lift his arm and hand over the weapon. He simply dropped it.
“Thank you…” that tense staring contest was back on. Henry was scared. Evan was pretty scared too, honestly. Everything was coming back to him so slowly.
Evan was having a hard time understanding what happened. He remembers dreams like that, dreams of a monster roaming his old house. He still had those dreams, but they haven’t been this… this real, in forever. Not since he lived with his father.
They were always the same. Always in his old room, always with the horrific beasts that looked like nightmarish versions of his father’s robots. Most of the time, it would end the same way it always did. Evan would try to keep the beasts away by shining his flashlight and closing the doors at them. Most of the time, they would catch him, kill him in the same gruesome ways, but Evan would always wake up again. He would wake right back on his bed and do the same thing. It kept repeating over and over until his alarm would go off. Only then would everything just… stop.
He told his older brother about it once. He didn’t tell his father, afraid to get in trouble for it somehow, but he did tell Mike. He remembered Mike making a face before yelling at him. He remembered him saying that he was such a freak for dreaming about something so gruesome. Evan didn’t talk about the dreams with anyone else after that, but they still kept going.
But why did this happen? Why did he attack Henry? Why did he think he was the bear? He knew now he had actually awoken from his dream, but why did he still think he was in it?
Henry asked him a question and Evan realized he had spaced out.
He was sitting in the bathroom with Henry. There was a heavy white noise in the background that Evan realized was the bath running. Henry had turned it off, leaving a thick silence in its wake. Evan noticed how he used his left arm. His right was sloppily bandaged up. It was red.
“Are you with me, son?” Henry asked.
Evan nodded slowly, though it felt like a lie. “How long was I…”
“Not sure,” Henry answered when Evan trailed into silence. He cleared his throat and stood up from the tiles, back and knees cracking in a way that made Evan flinch. “It’s hard to tell. You haven’t spoken a word until now.”
The kid nodded again. He didn’t really know what to say.
Henry looked better now. He took off his shirt and seemed to have washed off all the blood on him. There were still stains on his pants, but other than that and the bandages, he looked fine.
Why did he attack him?
“Are you awake enough to tell me what happened?”
Evan finally felt something. He felt a cold flash of fear hit his chest. He didn’t want to tell Henry about his dreams. He didn’t want to be called a freak again, or over dramatic, or anything. He didn’t want any of that.
He shook his head, but then felt awfully guilty.
Henry deserves to know why he acted like that, even if Evan didn’t really know the reason why. He didn’t want Henry to think he had just attacked him because he was violent or hated him or something. Which, Evan really hopes that wasn’t the case. He at least believed that wasn’t the case.
“I… I don’t know,” he got to mumble out. His face burned and his eyelashes became clumpy and wet as he blinked back tears. “I had a dream and I— I thought I was still there. I thought you were going to kill me. I was seeing— seeing things and I thought you were a monster.”
Evan hiccuped and he covered his face. He was terrible. He shouldn’t be crying. Henry was going to pity him and forgive him because he looks so pathetic, but Evan was a terrible person. He didn’t deserve it. He attacked Henry.
“Hey, shh, shh.” Just as he expected, Henry moved to comfort him. He rubbed Evan’s shoulder with his good arm and whispered to him in a kind voice. “It’s okay. I’m not upset. I’m certain you were just scared.”
Evan didn’t believe him, but he didn’t deny it further than a low whine.
“I promise, it’s not as bad as you think it is. Or how it looked, because that was a lot of blood.” Henry laughed, patting Evan’s back. “But that’s okay. Sometimes injuries bleed a lot, but aren’t that bad. They were just little kid scissors after all. I’m sure it’ll heal without a scratch.”
Evan stayed silent. His tears had dried up fairly quickly. He was getting better at controlling his outbursts.
Henry stilled for a moment. He cleared his throat again. “Do you… want to talk about what the dream was about?”
“No.” Evan’s answer was immediate.
Henry sighed. “Okay. That’s okay. But, I think I should schedule you another appointment with your therapist. I’m not mad at you, I think you were just trying to protect yourself, but this is still very serious.”
“I know.”
“Just— it was me this time, but next time it could be Lizzie or Sam. Or it can even be one of your friends.”
“I know.”
“And it could be something much worse than scissors too. God forbid you get your hands on a knife—”
“I know!” Evan’s voice broke and his tears started up again. He didn’t want Henry to keep going. He didn’t want to think about how he could hurt someone else.
Henry comforted him again, only making Evan feel more terrible and guilty. Soon, thinking about everything became too much and he shut down again.
“Hey, Evan?”
Evan looked up from the couch as Lizzie came in through the front door. She had just come home from school by the looks of it. Henry told Evan after he had gotten all cleaned up that it would probably be best for him to stay home today. He didn’t like school, but he knew his grades would suffer if he missed any more of it. His grades were bound to suffer anyways if he can’t stay focused enough to understand it.
He didn’t move to sit up, but he nodded his head to Lizzie as a greeting. She frowned, biting her lip. The front door behind her opened again and Evan tensed.
Mike had driven her home.
Mike wasn’t here last night. He’s 18 now and graduating soon. He’s even thinking about getting some small apartment downtown once he’s out of school. Yesterday he was at work and had missed the whole thing.
Evan didn’t know what he would think. Would he be angry at him? Would he get mad and try to punish Evan for hurting Henry? Mike has always been very protective over Henry, always jumping to defend him even when he was the one that antagonized their uncle the most.
Did Mike know what the dream was about?
He looked at Evan, face unreadable. With a nod to the stairs, he said— “C’mere. I wanna talk to you for a second.”
Evan felt the sickening cold fear again.
Still, he didn’t want to get in more trouble than he surely already was. He pushed himself off the couch and walked to and up the stairs, keeping his head down while Mike followed him.
Evan stopped at the top of the stairs. Henry had stayed up the rest of the night to try and scrub the blood out of the floor, but it was still a dark, horrible patch in the wood. There was too much and it was right in front of their bedroom door.
Mike put his hand on Evan’s shoulder. He flinched. “Let’s go to my room to talk.”
Evan nodded.
Mike’s room was a mess, but Evan didn’t care. Once the door closed, he made a beeline to the bed and sat down. He could feel his heart pounding again. He wishes he could control that more than anything else.
His brother sat in the chair at his desk and leaned back, pulling up his legs so he sat cross legged in the seat. He scratched at the scuff on his chin, eyes on the floor instead of on him.
“I’m cutting right to it,” he sighed. “Henry told me what happened.”
Evan knew that was the case.
“He said… you— you had a nightmare?” He opened his hands out in front of him and stared at them as he relayed the story. “You had a nightmare about a monster and continued seeing that monster even while awake?”
Evan nodded, ashamed of himself. It sounded so stupid. He wasn’t a little kid anymore. He shouldn’t be having nightmares about monsters.
“Was it about dad?”
“No.”
He knew that much. For once these fears were not about their father.
“Okay, then, uh,” Mike scratched his neck again. He looked tired. Very tired actually. Mike never looked good, he always looked like he never got enough sleep or never drank enough water, but he looked almost sick right now. “If it wasn’t about father… can you tell me what it was about?”
Evan sniffed, but said nothing. He stared down at the floor again.
“Listen, Evan,” Mike sighed. “Can I guess what it was about?”
So he did remember. Evan huffed, shoulders slumped in defeat. “Sure. Fine.”
His brother sat up, adjusting himself in his chair. “Were the monsters the animatronics?”
Evan nodded. Mike sighed.
“Shit,” he swore. His hands came up to rub his face. “Okay, follow up question. Did the animatronics have, like, big claws and a bunch of pointy teeth?” Another nod. “Did you have to scare them off with a flashlight?” Evan looked up, confused. He nodded again, slowly. “Did they breathe?”
He didn’t nod this time. “How did you… I never told you that.”
“I know. You didn’t have to. I’ve had the same dreams.”
Evan pushed off the bed. “No you didn’t.”
“Evan—”
“No you didn’t!” He turned towards the exit, ready to storm his way out of the room, but Mike grabbed his arm before he could run off. Evan tried to throw him off, but he held on tightly. Mike twisted him around and grabbed his other arm while Evan struggled against him. “Get off me!”
“Hey! Hey!” Mike shook him hard and squeezed his arms. “Knock it off! I’m being honest here! Listen to me!”
“No! You’re just trying to make fun of me!” Evan shouted. “Just like when I first told you! You called me a freak!”
“Evan, I was scared!” Mike grabbed his wrists and held them together, trying to get his attention. Evan kept trying to shove him away. “I was freaked out because I was having the same dreams! I thought— fuck— I thought you knew somehow and were trying to make fun of me. Because that’s impossible, right? It’s impossible to have the same dreams?”
“Shut up!”
“Fucking listen to me!”
Evan stopped struggling at his brother’s scream. He froze, eyes wide behind his glasses. Both of them were panting and exhausted from the fight. Mike glared at him angrily for only a moment before he deflated. He huffed and lessened his hold on Evan. With just one hand on his wrist, he guided Evan back to the bed.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I’m not trying to piss either of us off. Just— just listen to me for a minute, huh?”
He sat them both down on the bed and let go of Evan completely. He pulled his legs up again, but this time he pressed them to his chest, hiding behind them like a wall. He stared at Evan, gnawing at his fingernails. Evan realized a moment later that he was waiting for some sort of response.
“Okay,” pushing up his glasses from where they slipped down his nose, he whispered. He didn’t think he could speak up any louder. “Fine. What did you want to say?”
Mike dropped his hand from his mouth and swallowed. “Uh, well. About a week ago, I got high with Jeremy over at his house—”
“What?”
“I know, I know, okay! Henry gave me enough shit about it already.” Mike huffed. His ears were red. “Listen, I know I fucked up doing that, but Jeremy said it helps with his anxiety, so I wanted to try it. I got the mother of all bad trips. Lesson learned, we’re moving on from that.”
Despite himself, Evan laughed. Mike reached over and flicked him in the forehead.
“Whatever, dick.” He smiled though. It dropped quickly after and he swallowed again. “Anyways, I, uh. I started hallucinating. Really bad. I remember Jeremy’s room looking… weird. Like, some things were wrong. Jeremy’s room wasn’t really his room anymore. Everything was blurry and I felt my fight or flight response shoot up. I-I don’t remember a lot, but Jeremy said that I was a mess. He said I refused to move from the floor and that I kept rambling about monsters breathing and trying— trying to kill me. I do remember… I don’t know, I think Jeremy would move or something would and I saw it as one of the— the monsters lunging at me. I wouldn’t let Jerm leave to call Henry because I was scared the monsters would kill him, so his mom had to do it.”
His cheeks went pink at the last part, but he ignored it.
“It was bad. I think I would have attacked Henry too if I wasn’t so scared. He’s a big man, I just thought—” Mike shook his head. “Never mind. Um… after that happened, I kept hallucinating. I have slept unless in class because I was staying up all night watching the doors and listening. I would see those fuckers everywhere. Sometimes they would just appear, jump out at me before disappearing again. Sometimes they would taunt me by— by breathing and making noises out in the halls or in my closet, but never actually being there. It was every night.”
Evan frowned, a lump gathering in his throat. That sounds so awful. He wonders how he never noticed? Well, he’s not watching Mike 24/7 like he did as a kid. They’ve all grown more independent from each other over the years, no longer feeling the need to keep such close eyes on each other when there hasn’t been any real danger in years.
The fact that it was all week Mike has been having these hallucinations felt… uncomfortably familiar.
“Did that happen with Dad?” He asked quietly. He felt ill.
Mike didn’t answer for a moment, but then he shrugged. “Uh, yeah. I’d say around the last month we were still with him.”
“I don’t remember how long I had them, but it felt like days.” Evan frowned. He shifted in his spot. “Do you think he might have something to do with it?”
Mike hesitated. “How do you mean?”
“I dunno. Did he ever give us both something that could cause hallucinations?” Evan felt stupid suggesting it, but knowing their father, it wouldn’t be completely out of the ordinary.
“You think he drugged us?”
“Maybe?”
“But for what?” Mike scoffed and threw up his hands. “Why would he feel the need to drug us? With hallucinogens! I could maybe understand it if he put a sedative in our drinks so we’d be knocked out for the night, but why—”
Mike stopped short. He definitely just realized something. His eyes were wide and he looked like he'd seen a ghost. He chewed on his lip and glanced at Evan.
Evan was out of breath. “What?”
“I’m 18 now,” he said, as if that was enough. “The house is mine now. Because, y’know, no one wanted that place. Everything should still be there.”
Evan swallowed. Hard.
“We can go check it out.”