Chapter Text
November 11, 2023
Feng Xin’s day was going horribly.
He woke up late to his alarm by a whole fucking two hours and ended up missing his lecture. He just knew that Pei Ming would have his head for missing it again.
Then on his way to the grocery store, he dropped his coffee all over his favorite shirt and definitely fucked it up beyond repair. After that, he got an email from his professor saying that they count attendance and if he wanted to remain in his class then Feng Xin should actually attend it.
Which okay, rude first of all. Second, he had a point, but Feng Xin wouldn’t admit it.
Feng Xin wasn’t paying thousands of dollars in tuition for his professor to get on his ass for attendance. The worst part about it was that he failed his exam and had absolutely no time to redo it in any way.
So the big falling grade would go on his report card and end up fucking the rest of his grades.
And after everything, Xie Lian called his phone.
Which really it shouldn’t have been bad. But when Xie Lian called him, he had a bit of a favor to ask. But it seemed that he couldn't just say it over the phone because he begged Feng Xin to go to his house.
It wasn’t necessary at all, but Xie Lian insisted that he should come, and when had Feng Xin ever said no to Xie Lian anyway?
So that entire ordeal brought Feng Xin to where he was right now, sitting on the leather couches of Hua Cheng’s insanely big mansion and waiting for Xie Lian to bring out the tea.
The gaudy red plastered on every fucking wall really made some statement.
Feng Xin’s leg was bouncing impatiently on the ground while his hands were curled in his lap as he tried to focus on one thing. His mind was running with thoughts and he just couldn’t think outside of his own world.
Feng Xin was drowning in thousands of things and this just seemed to be another one to add to the ever-growing list.
“Ahh, Feng Xin! Here I finally got it!” Xie Lian walked out of the kitchen sheepishly with his hand shakily holding the tray of tea. “Oh wait, your shirt is—”
“I know.”
“—stained.” Xie Lian frowned.
Feng Xin didn’t look him in the eye as he shifted in his seat. But Xie Lian seemed as if he knew everything within seconds because he immediately set the tray neatly on the coffee table and sat beside Feng Xin.
He felt like jelly under Xie Lian’s intent gaze, at that point it was quite obvious he was hiding something. He wasn’t subtle at all.
Xie Lian squinted his eyes and assessed Feng Xin with a mere glance before deciding that was enough.
“Feng Xin, if you had a long day, you could’ve just told me! I would’ve easily rescheduled this for another day.” Xie Lian genuinely seemed sorry that he bothered Feng Xin.
And then Feng Xin was immediately reminded of why people didn’t like him. His entire body flooded with guilt and he was ready to bow at Xie Lian’s feet and beg for forgiveness at that moment.
“Dianxia, no I didn’t mean to be rude! Yes, my day has gone through hell and back but I always have time for you. There is no need to reschedule! I am here now, aren’t I? We might as well just get it over with…” Feng Xin frantically waved his hands in the air as he struggled to explain.
Even if he did have the intention to reschedule, Hua Cheng would personally come to take his head if he even dared to make Xie Lian wait.
He ducked his head down as his voice trailed off into nothingness, the room was silent for a moment. As if contemplating the entire ordeal, before a soft hand came to sit on his shoulder.
Feng Xin looked up with confusion in his eyes, ready to open his mouth before it audibly clicked shut at seeing Xie Lian’s expression.
“Feng Xin! I told you not to call me that!” Xie Lian’s voice edged a whine as his other hand came to flick the strands of hair that fell in front of his eyes. “And don’t be sorry for anything! Truly you did nothing wrong, there is nothing to explain!” Xie Lian looked slightly embarrassed as he weakly gestured for Feng Xin’s shirt, his other hand returning to his lap.
And Feng Xin came to the sudden realization that he had been sitting in the same coffee-stained shirt all day. He stared down at it for a moment before he let out a grumbled sigh and his body fell back against the couch.
“Dianxia,” Feng Xin started, ignoring Xie Lian’s protest again as he ran his hand through his hair. “Just tell me what you need, leave the formalities for a time when my brain is functioning.”
“Sorry—”
“Don’t apologize!”
“Oh, sorry—”
“Dianxia!” Feng Xin dissolved into a fit of laughter as he weakly raised his head to meet Xie Lian’s gaze. And Xie Lian seemed just as amused by the situation and followed Feng Xin into a similar fit.
A small huffed sound turned into full-bellied laughter.
Xie Lian’s hair became slightly undone as his body shook along with Feng Xin’s, and the entire room seemed to laugh alongside them.
The air was quiet, the air was still.
“I can never get tired of this.” Xie Lian sighed in contentment after a moment of silence. And Feng Xin found himself far lighter than before, the weight was lifted off his shoulders and his skin didn’t feel as tight.
He could finally breathe.
“Yeah, I did too.” his voice came out as a whispered sigh, he couldn’t help but let his body relax into the couch. And suddenly Hua Cheng’s gaudy furniture wasn’t as bad as it was before. The leather felt more like a cool relief than an itchy feeling.
And silence only followed his words, there was the quiet shuffling of clothes moving as Xie Lian picked up the cup of tea and handed it to Feng Xin with a grin on his face. Feng Xin’s eyes were bright as he flicked over the cup of tea and then to Xie Lian.
“Tea?”
Xie Lian laughed. “I think you need a change after coffee, so tea!” he smiled and raised the tea a bit so Feng Xin would take it.
Feng Xin grinned and carefully took the cup without complaint. His touch was soft as he lifted the edge of the cup to his lips, taking a small sip and attempting to hide the grimace the second he tried it.
He immediately put the cup down and looked at Xie Lian with a weak smile. He didn’t know that Xie Lian being a bad cook would also apply to his drinks!
“Dianxia… why is this so salty?” Feng Xin was ready to bawl his eyes out right there and then! He swore that there was like ten pounds of salt packed into just one cup.
His mouth refused to cooperate with him and at this point, his tongue had shriveled up and let him rot.
Xie Lian sheepishly scratched his head and weakly gestured at the cup with his brows furrowed. “I couldn’t tell the difference between the salt and the sugar, so I just guessed. And… I’m guessing I put salt instead.”
No shit!
Feng Xin didn’t respond as he scrambled to the kitchen sink so he could wash out the taste in his mouth. He should just scrub his mouth with soap and even then it would not be clean!
Xie Lian stood behind him with a guilty expression as rubbed Feng Xin’s back supportively.
“If it makes you feel any better, I can make you a second cup with sugar.”
Feng Xin choked on the water and hurriedly backed away, his hip hit the counters, and he waved his hands frantically. “I am well, Dianxia! There is no need!”
There was no way in fuck he was about to touch anything that Xie Lian made, he should've never drunk it at the start!
Xie Lian looked skeptical but he backed away slowly as if Feng Xin was an injured animal.
“You know… you should just do that. I'll… wait on the couch and you just come whenever you are done with… that.” Xie Lian put his hands up in the air and continued to slowly walk back until he was out of Feng Xin’s sight.
Feng Xin watched with his mouth parted in confusion as he turned to the sink and placed his hand under the water.
At this point, he was tempted to dunk his head under the water and just drown himself.
Today was not his day.
There were the light shuffles of someone in the kitchen and suddenly the front door opened. Feng Xin knew who it was within moments.
Hua fucking Cheng in his gaudy red clothes and his gaudy diamond jewelry that is probably fucking real judging by the fucking glimmer of it!
Feng Xin was tempted to throw up right then and there after seeing his best friend acting all domestic in front of Feng Xin! Have they had no shame to at least hide themselves a bit so Feng Xin didn’t suffer?!
Or maybe Feng Xin was just bitter that he couldn’t find himself a person he could love like that.
He was tempted to dunk his head under the faucet in hopes that it would bring back his sanity, but that wouldn’t be proper to do in someone else's house. So he opted to pool some water in his hands before running his hands through his hair.
Feng Xin could hear Xie Lian greeting his San Lang and discussing how Hua Cheng’s day went, really it probably fucking went the same as every other day!
But of course, this was something that happened every time Feng Xin was here, so he decided to bury this in the back of his mind and pray Hua Cheng ignored his presence, though Feng Xin knew that would never happen.
He wiped his hand on the kitchen towel and let out a grumbled sigh as he made his way to Xie Lian, praying that his demon of a husband chose to ignore him.
There were small strands of hair that repeatedly made their way to Feng Xin’s line of vision, and Feng Xin could only find himself incredibly tired. Which made sense if someone were to think about how his entire day had been so far.
Xie Lian needed to tell him his favor already so Feng Xin could go home and take on long nap. His back was hurting like a bitch since earlier when he was hunched over his stupid laptop completing assignments for a stupid professor that never listened!
Hua Cheng sat beside Xie Lian on the large leather couch, their thighs were pressed up together and Hua Cheng was lying back with his arm thrown over Xie Lian’s shoulders while Xie Lian only blushed in reply.
It was disgusting!
The couch was huge and Hua Cheng decided to sit right next to Xie Lian, of fucking course! If this was how love was supposed to look like, then Feng Xin took it back, he didn’t need anything like that.
He was all fine by himself! His laptop, his group of friends, the coffee shop next to his apartment, and Mu—
Feng Xin’s thoughts were cut to a halt, he hadn’t even thought about him in years! Feng Xin wouldn’t dare to even say his fucking name. And it was good he forgot about him because every thought about him ruined Feng Xin’s entire fucking day.
Because all Feng Xin could do was think about how much he missed Mu Qi—
Nope!
Fuck that!
“Dianxia,” Feng Xin hurriedly called out to Xie Lian as he stood a distance away from the leather couch, anywhere near Hua Cheng would surely fuck up everything else.
“You said you had a favor to ask me, what is it?” he kept his mouth in a flat line as he awaited an answer, his hands scrunched at his side and his fingers twitched with every second that passed.
Xie Lian looked up in surprise as if shocked by the fact that Feng Xin was still there. He scrambled to sit straight and he watched Feng Xin with a bit of embarrassment.
“Feng Xin, sit! I was just greeting San Lang!” Xie Lian’s hands waved in the air awkwardly, his head shaking as if telling Feng Xin he meant nothing.
Greeting? As if!
If greetings involved making your lips fucking swollen then yeah that's a fucking greeting alright.
Feng Xin wanted to leave, Hua Cheng was making gooey eyes at Xie Lian and Feng Xin swore he was going to throw up.
Hua Cheng sat beside Xie Lian with a frown as he watched Feng Xin, staring at him as if his presence alone bothered Hua Cheng. Feng Xin rolled his eyes, Hua Cheng always had something to say.
And that gaudy fucking eye patch that he always wears seemed to be some statement, fucking apparently!
“It's fashion, Feng Xin, something you wouldn't understand.”
Fashion his ass.
“Okay,” Feng Xin smiled as he sat a distance from Xie Lian on the leather couch, he just knew his eye was twitching. “What was it that you needed?”
Xie Lian held Hua Cheng’s hand as he grinned at Feng Xin. “So I have a friend that is coming from Xuli. They used to live here when they were younger and they are finally moving back here!”
Feng Xin squinted. “What does that have to do with me?”
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng both laughed while Feng Xin sat still, they looked at each other as if Feng Xin said the funniest fucking line in the whole world.
Xie Lian grinned.
He fucking grinned?!
“Feng Xin, my friend is flying here in about three days so I need you to pick him up!” Xie Lian clapped his hands together and looked at Hua Cheng out of the corner of his eyes.
Hua Cheng's frown turned into a bright smile as he stared at Xie Lian. Xie Lian was his sun and Hua Cheng grew strong under his bright gaze.
Disgusting!
“Do I even know this person?” Feng Xin was tempted to bury his head in his hands right in front of Xie Lian just to let him know how much he was suffering.
And get this, Xie Lian’s grin fucking widened!
“Yes! It’s Mu Qing! You must remember him!” Xie Lian tilted his head and smiled sweetly as if his very sentence didn't just curse Feng Xin.
Feng Xin scrambled as he got up. “Mu Qing?! As in the fucking guy that left us eight years ago when we needed him?!” he yelled and ignored Hua Cheng’s glare.
It didn't matter what Hua Cheng thought.
Xie Lian wanted him to pick up Mu Qing.
Mu fucking Qing?!
Feng Xin couldn't stand that guy! He was bitchy, he was rude, and he thought he was entitled to every fucking thing that he laid his eyes on!
“I'm sorry, Dianxia. I can't do that, I don't like him! I can't stand to see the fucking sight of him! What makes you think I’ll do it?!” Feng Xin pointed an accusatory hand at Hua Cheng. “Just make him do it!”
Hua Cheng rolled his eyes and sat up straight, but with every movement, he paid no mind to Feng Xin and his behavior. “Gege, let me explain to this idiot what you mean.”
Xie Lian smiled as he patted Hua Cheng’s forearm. “San Lang is so kind.”
That was it, Feng Xin was leaving!
“Don't call me that!” Feng Xin scowled as he glared at Hua Cheng, but Hua Cheng barely spared him a glance.
“What gege means is that none of us are free and even if you aren't on good terms with idiot number two, you still knew him in the past.” Hua Cheng explained as he placed a few kisses over Xie Lian’s bare wrist.
Xie Lian turned a bright red as he wore a sheepish smile at the display of affection.
But Feng Xin was just staring, he couldn't even argue with this guy!
“Who is idiot number one supposed to be?” and his tone was so genuine that Hua Cheng must've found it so funny.
And that just pissed Feng Xin off even more!
“Are you stupid? It’s literally you.” Hua Cheng’s eye flicked over to him, and he slowly ran his eye down Feng Xin’s body, assessing the fucking coffee stains he had on his shirt.
No need to tell him he looked like shit, he knew!
“You know what? Fuck you!” Feng Xin shoved the middle finger in Hua Cheng’s face as he looked at Xie Lian. “Just send me the information and I'll pick him up. I don't want to be here anymore.”
Hua Cheng rolled his eyes. “Stop being rude to gege, just because you want to fuck Mu Qing doesn't mean you take it out on us.”
Feng Xin spluttered and was tempted to punch Hua Cheng in the face. He didn't want anything to do with that fucking traitor!
“I’m leaving!” Feng Xin stumbled, hastily putting his shoes on, and unlocking the door. “I'll see you later, Dianxia. And fuck you, Hua Cheng!”
Hua Cheng smirked from his spot on the couch as he slid his arm around Xie Lian’s waist. “You aren't my type!” he barked out a laugh while Xie Lian tried to hide his snicker in his arm.
Feng Xin glared at Hua Cheng one last time before he waved to Xie Lian, stomping as he left the house in a rush to get away from the two.
Get away from everyone else.
His car was parked directly in front of the mansion, he dug the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the car with a click!
Feng Xin climbed into the car and just sat there for a moment. He knew that his breathing was erratic and his hands were basically shaking. He was running against time to try and catch his breath.
Large hands gripped the wheel tightly, his knuckles were a pale white color that grew to be a stark contrast against his tanned skin.
And Feng Xin lowered his head onto the wheel, letting the cool leather sleeve cure what he couldn't.
He didn't want to see Mu Qing again, not after everything that went down. Seeing Mu Qing again would be giving in to those feelings, seeing Mu Qing would be everything Feng Xin fought to hide.
When Mu Qing left, everything Feng Xin had went with him.
Feng Xin didn't want to see Mu Qing again, he didn't.
He couldn't stand to see Mu Qing!
Mu Qing was rude, he was unkind, and he had no fucking manners!
Feng Xin groaned and repeatedly hit his head on the wheel, this was all just some fucking dream that he would wake up to.
But then his head accidentally hit the horn and a loud sound followed as Feng Xin startled.
He ended up hitting his head on the fucking headrest and probably creating a bruise with it.
Fuck his life!
☼
November 12, 2023
When Feng Xin woke up, it was seven in the morning.
He had nothing better to do than sleep in some more. It was ass o clock in the morning and Feng Xin never woke up this early unless he had to go to his classes.
But it was a weekend and no one should be calling Feng Xin except his sisters.
When he got up and hastily grabbed his phone, he found Xie Lian’s number the first thing he saw.
Of fucking course!
He clicked the green button and put Xie Lian on speaker, dropping the phone on his nightstand so he could bury his face in his pillow. The air was horribly cold and Feng Xin regretted not getting thicker sheets.
“Hello?” Xie Lian’s static voice came from the phone, what's the use of marrying a multi-millionaire guy if he couldn't even get you a nice phone?
Xie Lian was probably using the same phone for the past six years!
“Dianxia, why are you calling so early?” his voice was a scratchy groan as he talked, and only then did he realize how dry his throat was.
He cleared his throat and rubbed his face on the pillows as he heard some shifting from Xie Lian’s side.
“Feng Xin? It’s already seven, it's not even early anymore.” Xie Lian sounded exasperated as he spoke and Feng Xin only dug his face deeper into his pillow.
Who fucking cared how early it was?!
Feng Xin’s reply came out muffled, but it seemed that Xie Lian didn’t care much and he only laughed over the phone.
“Feng Xin, I'm calling to tell you about Mu Qing’s flight. It's coming later today and like I told you earlier, you're picking him up.” Xie Lian’s voice carried a small lilt as he spoke excitedly.
At this, Feng Xin was tempted to jump out the nearest window.
That was today?!
Xie Lian apparently noticed through the phone that Feng Xin was reluctant to even get up, and Feng Xin really hope he fucking knew.
Because Feng Xin was doing the biggest favor of his life picking up Mu Qing for Xie Lian!
“As I said, just send me the info so I have everything. Give me all his flight information and what gate he would be at. Then I'll just be there.” his voice was still scratchy as he responded, and he really needed some fucking water!
“Feng Xin, you are a literal lifesaver! Whatever favor you have, I am open to doing it! I just can't pick Mu Qing up because I'm incredibly busy and I was hoping that—”
“Yeah yeah, I get it.” Feng Xin rubbed at the crust in the corner of his eyes and he blinked blearily as he picked up his phone.
He shifted it in his hands and waited as there were a few murmurs over the phone—no doubt that it was Hua Cheng talking to Xie Lian.
“Okay yeah, so I was probably going to just tell you everything. But I'm guessing you are… occupied right now. So I'll just text it.” Xie Lian’s voice cracked towards the end and Feng Xin could only snicker under his breath at him.
“I was going to ask you to text it anyway.” Feng Xin looked up to the ceiling for a good minute and attempted to take in the long-ass day he had ahead of him.
Seeing Mu Qing again was not on his Christmas wish list.
Xie Lian hummed. “Well, I’ll do that. And you should get up already, it's going to be a long day.”
Feng Xin barked out a laugh and slapped a hand over his head. At this point, he was going insane.
“I know, I know. I'll see you later, Dianxia.” Feng Xin slowly got up with a small groan and cracked his knuckles as he waited for Xie Lian’s reply.
“Bye, Feng Xin.” Xie Lian’s voice was far too fucking happy for that early in the morning.
The call ended with three beeps before Feng Xin threw his hand back and swept a hand down his face. He weakly picked up his blanket and wrapped it around his bare shoulders.
Feng Xin walked to the heater and turned up the heat by two or three before curling the blanket tighter around his shoulders.
Just because his body ran warm, didn't mean that he was necessarily warm. The heater suddenly became a loud hum in Feng Xin’s ears as he slowly walked to the bathroom.
Feng Xin sighed and turned on the light in the bathroom and stood in front of the sink with a tired expression. There were eye bags under his eyes.
He squinted and stared at his hunched figure.
Today was going to be a long fucking day.
☼
November 12, 2023
Dianxia - 7:54 a.m.
Mu Qing’s flight will land at 10 a.m. and it's at Gate C!!
You might have to wait a little, there are a lot of people on his flight (ง'̀-'́)ง
But besides that, you should be all set! It's at the same airport we always go to so there is no trouble with that.
Good luck! (^◡^) <3
Feng Xin stared at his phone sleepily, his eyes were filled with a thin layer of haze as he attempted to process what Xie Lian sent.
He picked up the small device and just sent out a small thank you for giving it to Feng Xin. Which really it should be the other way around and Xie Lian should be thanking him instead.
Me - 7:57 a.m.
Thanks, I'll see you later
It was very basic but Feng Xin couldn't find himself to care at those moments. His back hurt and so did his head!
Those were all very serious things to take into consideration, Feng Xin should be staying at home instead of picking up traitors who betrayed you years ago!
But life had always been a fucking cycle for Feng Xin so he just had to deal with it.
The phone screen turned black after not being touched for so long, and Feng Xin only stared at it. He wasn't really thinking, all he did was throw it onto his bed.
He found no comfort in looking at it.
He had long dropped his blanket on the floor while he slowly walked around his apartment and got ready for the day.
He wouldn't have to pick up Mu Qing until ten which left him around two hours to get ready and get to the airport in time. But if it landed at ten, then that meant Feng Xin had a whole extra thirty minutes before he would see Mu Qing.
So really, Feng Xin had three hours left.
He stretched his arms in the air and let out a loud yawn, scratching his chest while moving to head to the shower. He didn't even need all three hours, he could leave the house in thirty minutes.
But he was going to take all the time he needed today to deal with Mu Qing.
Feng Xin needed the fucking energy and mental stability to watch over him, he had none of those.
So Feng Xin was just going to pray that today would go well.
He ducked his head over the sink and opened the tap of water, the faucet began to start its steady flow of water, and Feng Xin lazily grabbed his toothbrush and began to clean his teeth.
Feng Xin repeated the same motion as always and went in little circles, moving from one tooth to another in the same movements.
He spat out the water mixed with toothpaste and continued to move. He dropped the toothbrush into the cup holder and picked up his mouthwash before gurgling it in his mouth.
After he finished with that, he headed into the shower and turned on the hottest temperature he could handle.
He needed it after what was to come.
☼
November 12, 2023
After doing his entire morning routine and heading to his same local coffee shop, he sat in his car with a heavy sigh.
Feng Xin was tempted to hit his head on the steering wheel all over again, but that would also mean he would hit his head on the horn, which he wouldn’t do!
But he wouldn't risk it either.
So he dropped his medium-sized coffee cup in the cup holder and let out another sigh. He didn't even want to go! Xie Lian had thousands of friends, so why not ask them?!
Feng Xin looked at his watch sitting on his wrist with the cold metal pressing against his skin soothingly.
8:36 a.m.
It was way too early for any of this!
Could Mu Qing not pick a flight that came at a normal time? Or maybe he knew it was Feng Xin who was picking him up and decided to torture him like this.
But Mu Qing was never a normal person so Feng Xin couldn't even hold him up to the same standards.
He inserted the key into the engine and watched as the car turned on with a steady hum. Feng Xin was wrapped tightly in a thick jacket because it was just that fucking cold.
Feng Xin didn't even get cold, so this was Mu Qing’s curse!
He shivered as he hurriedly turned on the heater, his truck was too cold! The only good thing about it was that it had heated seats and it looked nice.
That's two things.
Feng Xin groaned and shifted in his seat, all he could think about was Mu Qing.
☼
November 12, 2023
Driving to the airport was a whole hassle. Feng Xin was suddenly reminded of how much he hated going to the airport.
Whether it be for travel or for getting someone, it was the worst. And the airport parking was absolute shit so Feng Xin didn't even try to go there. But there was nowhere else to go so he suffered.
But trying to say no to Xie Lian was impossible, including when his looming husband was always around to bother Feng Xin.
So here was Feng Xin, standing in front of Gate C waiting for someone he had forced himself to forget about.
And his hands were fisted at his sides and he didn't think to bring anything. Should he have? That was just having common courtesy. But when had Mu Qing ever done the same?
Feng Xin would lie to himself to make him feel better.
The lady over the intercom announced that Mu Qing’s flight had landed a few minutes ago. And all Feng Xin had to do was wait.
And Feng Xin was so fucking nervous. There was this genuine rush going through his body and he absolutely despised it. Because the last time he felt this, was when Mu Qing was still here.
Suddenly, people were walking out of the glass doors with their bags in their hands, the people around Feng Xin ran to their wanted people and greeted them with smiles.
But Feng Xin only bit his lip in anticipation as he stood on his toes looking for the swing of familiar black hair.
And Feng Xin fidgeted with the edges of his thick jacket, he was obviously nervous. He hadn't seen Mu Qing in eight fucking years. So he had every right to act like he was, how much did Mu Qing change?
Would Mu Qing even want to see him?
All of a sudden, in Feng Xin’s line of sight, came an all too familiar figure. He looked the same, yet he changed so much. He still looked like Mu Qing.
His face had become more defined and his hair had become even longer. From where Feng Xin stood, he looked the same height as Feng Xin, if not a bit shorter.
And there was that same scowl on his face that Feng Xin wished so badly to despise. The steps became louder in his ears and Mu Qing seemed angrier the closer he neared Feng Xin.
Feng Xin let out a heavy sigh and tried to melt his face into something more relaxed, but he felt as though it was very obvious just how tense he was.
Mu Qing stood in front of him with two suitcases in his hand and a bag on his shoulder. He didn't say anything for a moment, and he looked Feng Xin up and down with a look that clearly said he was judging him.
But Feng Xin couldn't even find himself to say anything as he stared at Mu Qing with an expression of surprise.
Seeing him up close after so long brought unwanted feelings, feelings that Feng Xin tried to hide the day Mu Qing left.
“What are you doing here?”
Feng Xin was startled out of his stupor by a frowning Mu Qing, his voice was cold and he was definitely judging Feng Xin.
And Feng Xin couldn't even find himself to be self-conscious as he attempted to scramble out a response. “I’m fucking picking you up. What does it look like I’m doing?”
Feng Xin was so incredibly close to Mu Qing, he can see his fucking red eyeliner lining his eyes in this way that accentuates his eye shape. There was powdered blush on Mu Qing’s perfect cheeks and his lips were coated with a soft gloss.
And tearing his eyes away was one of the hardest things Feng Xin found himself doing.
Mu Qing laughed at him mockingly, sending a shiver down Feng Xin’s spine.
“I see you still have a trashy mouth, nothing good ever came out of it.” there was a grin on Mu Qing’s face as he spoke and his nose scrunched as he haughtily raised his chin.
And Feng Xin could only be reminded that Mu Qing left them. He was meant to hate Mu Qing, and he clearly fucking did.
Feng Xin couldn't stand seeing Mu Qing, and Mu Qing would probably tell him to fucking sit down then.
Feng Xin really hated him.
Mu Qing gave him the bag on his shoulder and Feng Xin took it without complaint which rounded to him being at odds with himself.
“Shut up! You are probably far worse than before.” he furrowed his brows and adjusted Mu Qing’s bag on his shoulder as he took Mu Qing’s other suitcases.
Mu Qing seemed reluctant to let Feng Xin take his things, he probably thought that Feng Xin was going to run away with them.
Which really, Feng Xin should have just done. It would've saved him all the hassle instead of dealing with Mu Qing.
Mu Qing didn't seem like he enjoyed Feng Xin’s presence, which was really fucking obvious. There was a clear tiredness from his expression alone, and Feng Xin knew that it was just the flight getting over his head.
Mu Qing didn’t have the energy to add to Feng Xin’s growing temper, already moving away to the elevator without checking if Feng Xin was following.
They walked to the elevator leading to the parking garage, and Mu Qing did not say anything. He pressed the button that had the letter P imprinted on it.
The elevator door closed and it was them two. And again, Feng Xin couldn't help but feel nervous standing in Mu Qing’s presence.
Because it was impossible to tell what was going to happen next. Feng Xin was always expecting the unexpected.
That was just how it was with Mu Qing. And Feng Xin would always hold his breath around him because he never knew what to do.
Was breathing ever okay?
The elevator door opened shortly and Feng Xin was greeted by the strong smell of gasoline and dust. He sniffled and rubbed at his nose, the smell creating a stingy feeling.
“It’s all the way at the end so it’s a bit of a walk.” Feng Xin murmured as he spotted his car in the distance. It wasn't that hard to look for, it always stood out amongst the rest.
Mu Qing hummed in response, and Feng Xin could only be surprised that he didn't comment anything.
“I would have thought that you would buy a new car, it seems like you still like that behemoth of a truck.” Mu Qing said after a moment of silence, a light snicker following his words.
And Feng Xin spoke too soon, of fucking course he would say something about his car.
Feng Xin furrowed his brows and looked back at Mu Qing just so he could see Mu Qing’s reaction when he stuck his tongue out.
Mu Qing only rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, his nose and the tips of his ears were a bright red against his pale skin. And only then did Feng Xin realize that it was fucking winter and Mu Qing was wearing the thinnest sweater known to mankind.
Feng Xin squinted his eyes and didn't say anything as he walked a bit faster to his car.
He had a hoodie in the back seat of his car, he could just give that to Mu Qing.
They reached the car easily, Feng Xin hurriedly dug his keys out of his pocket as he scrambled to unlock it. The car beeped and lit up as Feng Xin moved out of the way for Mu Qing to sit.
“Here,” he gestured for the passenger seat and waved his hands in some sort of way. “I’ll put your stuff in the backseat.” Feng Xin paused for a moment before he also dug out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it. “Type in your address so I can get you there.”
Mu Qing’s eyes flicked between Feng Xin’s phone and the passenger seat door, he let out a small huff and snatched Feng Xin’s phone, opening the door with a small heave as he sat inside.
Feng Xin furrowed his brows but didn’t say anything more. It wasn’t like Feng Xin even cared in the first place, all he had to do was drop Mu Qing off and then leave him alone and hope to never see him again, simple and easy.
He opened the door to the back seats and put away Mu Qing’s suitcases, his bag following shortly after. Feng Xin shut the door with a sigh, he could see his breath in front of him coming out in small huffs and all he could do was attempt to steady his breathing.
He walked around the car and quickly sat in the driver's seat, shutting the door with a loud bang and trying to let the car warm up as fast as he could. He inserted his key into the engine and then realized that his phone was already sitting on his dashboard stand with the maps open with Mu Qing’s address.
And it was as if Feng Xin forgot Mu Qing was even by him—hell Feng Xin could never forget that Mu Qing was beside him, it was too warm.
Mu Qing spared Feng Xin one glance, and by the looks of it, he was still shivering.
“Oh,” Feng Xin’s voice was a soft whisper as he stared at Mu Qing’s shivering figure. Mu Qing didn’t make any move to do anything, his head was facing Feng Xin, but he wasn’t looking at him.
Their eyes didn’t meet and Feng Xin’s chest hurt.
Feng Xin sighed, he was always the best fucking guy out of their group anyway. He raised his body a bit so he could shift his arm in order to get his hoodie from the backseat. It should have been sitting right behind Mu Qing’s seat. His hand grabbed the air for a moment before the hoodie came into his grasp.
He wore a grin as he sat back down and pulled the hoodie towards him. He didn't even know where he got it from but he always loved wearing it, the black color always looked great on him and the fabrics were so soft. Mu Qing would give it back anyway, it wasn’t like he would keep it.
Feng Xin wouldn’t mind if he did either.
Feng Xin dropped the hoodie in Mu Qing’s arms, uncaring for the fact that Mu Qing seemed startled by the gesture alone. “Here, wear this for now.”
Mu Qing scowled and tried to give Feng Xin his hoodie back, but Feng Xin only pushed it deeper into Mu Qing’s arms.
“I’m not—”
“No,” Feng Xin let out an amused sound at Mu Qing’s angered expression. “You are fucking shivering and look at the verge of biting your fingers off. What idiot wouldn’t even bring something to wear."
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. “It was in my suitcase, I was going to ask you to take it out.”
Feng Xin stared at Mu Qing for a moment. “Yeah well, you are too fucking late for that. Now wear it.”
Mu Qing held eye contact with Feng Xin, and Feng Xin stared back, equally done with his shit. And when it looked like Feng Xin wasn’t backing down, Mu Qing let out a soft curse as he tried to put the hoodie on in the tight space.
Some muttered curses later, Mu Qing wore Feng Xin’s hoodie and it seemed like he was still cold because now he was even more red. Which really, it was an odd look on Mu Qing’s face, but Feng Xin didn’t say anything as he pressed start on his phone.
Who fucking cared if Mu Qing was still cold, Feng Xin gave him his hoodie and that was all he could’ve done.
The phone started giving out directions to Mu Qing’s apartment, only forty minutes away. Not that bad considering that Feng Xin lives about an hour away. But staying in the car with Mu Qing for a whole forty minutes was another fucking hassle as it was.
But judging by the looks of it, Mu Qing seemed as though he would fall asleep within the next five minutes, his hands were curled in his sleeves and his eyes seemed to droop farther down by the second.
Feng Xin sighed and his hand tightened its grip on the steering wheel. It would be a long fucking drive.
Getting out of the parking garage was already a problem, but driving at 12 p.m. where the traffic was just horrible, seemed to top everything off.
Feng Xin repeatedly checked this phone for directions, and Mu Qing didn’t speak. And it felt odd knowing that he hadn’t seen Mu Qing in eight years. Sitting beside Mu Qing didn’t feel right, because he was forcing himself to forget everything that had happened so long ago. Feng Xin was an adult now, nothing mattered.
Yet here he was, still hung up on his past.
And every second or so, he would spare Mu Qing a glance as he drove steadily, his breath had evened out and he was sound asleep, and Feng Xin could only reference it to years and years ago when it was them in their high school years, driving around with nowhere to go.
How odd.
☼
November 12, 2023
When Feng Xin finally reached Mu Qing’s apartment complex, there was only the sound of soft snores filling his car.
Mu Qing was fast asleep and all he could think about was his presence. It was around 1 p.m. when Feng Xin parked his car in the guest parking.
And Feng Xin wanted to physically throw Mu Qing out of the car. First, he decided to sleep in Feng Xin’s car which ultimately let his guard down, so obviously Feng Xin was going to take advantage of that.
Feng Xin pulled his key out from the engine and let out a loud groan, which didn't wake Mu Qing up?!
So Feng Xin made sure to exaggerate every single movement and sound he made just so Mu Qing could wake up.
But five minutes of exaggerating everything made Feng Xin bored, so he got out of the car with a soft sigh and moved to Mu Qing’s side.
Mu Qing was leaning his head against the window and if Feng Xin opened the door, Mu Qing would definitely fall.
Which Feng Xin intended at this point.
But when Feng Xin opened the door, Mu Qing was awake?!
“What the hell are you doing gawking at me like that? Do you not get out of the car like a normal person?” Mu Qing’s brows knotted as he stared down at Feng Xin from his position in the truck.
Feng Xin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Says the person who wouldn't even wake up, I went through hell and back trying to wake you up.”
Mu Qing pursed his lips and stepped out of the car, and it was as if Feng Xin just remembered that Mu Qing was wearing his hoodie.
Feng Xin looked away with his head ducked down, walking away without saying anything and moving to the backseat to pick up Mu Qing’s stuff.
He grunted quietly as he dropped the suitcases and then threw Mu Qing’s bag over his shoulder.
Mu Qing stood with his hands in his hoodie pockets and waited for Feng Xin to take out his bags. Feng Xin’s eyes flicked over to Mu Qing, Feng Xin was doing everything and Mu Qing was just standing there.
Feng Xin shifted the bag in his arm and grunted at Mu Qing. And it seemed Mu Qing didn't get the gesture because he only stood there awkwardly waiting for Feng Xin to elaborate.
A light chill ran through Feng Xin as he frowned. “Where is your apartment? I'm not fucking standing out here all day.”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes, but his hands scrambled to reach his phone from his sweatpants pockets. “It’s—” he clicked a few buttons on his phone before looking up at Feng Xin. “It’s B36, the second floor in building three.”
Feng Xin nodded and looked around for the third building, his eyes scanning the area and searching. Mu Qing pointed out that it was literally right in front of them.
Feng Xin’s eyes flicked over to Mu Qing’s as he moved to walk, carrying the heavy suitcases on wheels while the bag sat snugly on his shoulders.
Mu Qing seemed far faster than him when he walked, probably because he wasn't the one holding all of Mu Qing’s bags. He shouldn't even be doing this, Mu Qing could hold his own shit!
Yet here Feng Xin was being treated like a fucking servant.
And at the same time, Feng Xin never gave Mu Qing his things back, even holding them with no complaint!
There should be an award for how great of a person he was.
The suitcases rolled on the concrete loudly and all of a sudden Mu Qing was fucking walking upstairs, and Feng Xin forgot that Mu Qing’s apartment was on the second floor.
Mu Qing was already far ahead and it seemed that he had forgotten that Feng Xin was carrying all of his stuff. First, he chose to be ignorant and now he was all up in the fucking air as if Feng Xin wasn’t right here.
But that was just how Mu Qing was.
Fucking apparently.
Taking the bags up the stairs was a whole struggle, when he said struggle he meant that, plus a hundred times over.
Feng Xin already had back pain and this would add to it tenfold! And again fucking Mu Qing didn't even do anything about it.
At this point, Feng Xin should be paid!
When Feng Xin finally reached the top of the stairs to the second floor, he was a mess. He didn't even know people could sweat in cold weather?!
Picking one suitcase up was impossible, picking two plus a heavy bag was not it.
Genuinely!
Mu Qing stood at the door with an exasperated expression, he seemed annoyed at the fact that Feng Xin was taking so long carrying Mu Qing’s bags.
Feng Xin scowled and moved down the hallway with a tired expression, the second he got home, he was going to take the longest fucking nap of his life.
“What took you so long?” Mu Qing tapped his foot impatiently on the concrete as he dug the key into the hole and shifted a bit until it unlocked.
Feng Xin muttered a few curses under their breath as he tried to move his shoulders without jostling the bag. “I’m the person fucking holding your things, and up those long stairs too!”
Mu Qing looked just the slightest bit guilty as he snatched one of the suitcases from Feng Xin. “You could've told me it was too heavy, I thought Ju Yang had more strength than that.”
And it was as if thousands of memories were unlocked right there.
“Can you not?!” Feng Xin was really going to throw Mu Qing! He thought Mu Qing at least matured enough to stop saying that stupid fucking name and here he was doing it!
Mu Qing laughed mockingly and took the bag inside, pushing the door open and moving around the several boxes that sat in every corner.
It seemed that the moving company arrived before Mu Qing.
Which meant, that Feng Xin would have to help Mu Qing unpack all this shit.
He was never going to accept one of Xie Lian’s favors ever again!
Feng Xin navigated around the several boxes and left Mu Qing’s bag on the couch while the suitcase stood beside it.
Mu Qing was somewhere in the kitchen and Feng Xin didn't care for what he was doing. He let out a tired sigh as he put his hands on his hips and made a quick glance over the room filled with boxes.
Xie Lian wanted Feng Xin to pick up Mu Qing, but knowing him, Xie Lian would also make him help Mu Qing.
Which again, Feng Xin should not be listening to Xie Lian!
But Feng Xin had nothing better to do for the rest of the day, so he could help Mu Qing. Not that he’ll admit it though, Feng Xin will just linger around and Mu Qing wouldn't notice.
Mu Qing walked out of the kitchen in the middle of Feng Xin fighting with the plastic on the coffee table. He stood there for a moment, as if processing what the hell Feng Xin was doing.
It seemed he stepped out of his stupor the moment Feng Xin let out a muttered curse because he immediately shoved Feng Xin away lightly.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” Mu Qing glared at Feng Xin as if he were a child, and Feng Xin had no right to feel like one in those moments.
For fucks sake, Mu Qing was younger than him!
Mu Qing should be listening to him!
“I am unpacking your shit, if you do this by yourself, it will take literal centuries.” Feng Xin crossed his arms over himself, standing to his full height and waiting for Mu Qing to say something.
Mu Qing rolled his eyes and didn't back down at Feng Xin’s response. He only moved forward and poked a bony finger straight into Feng Xin’s chest.
“I can do it on my own. I don't need your help, you picking me up was already a whole shit show and now you're here in my apartment. What do you want, Feng Xin?”
Mu Qing’s words were like a seething iron leaving its imprint on his thick skin, his words were sharp and Feng Xin fought the urge to back away at them.
“I’m here on my own choice.” was the first lie that Feng Xin said. “I don't want anything.” was his second lie. And his response came out as hesitant, and Mu Qing obviously didn't believe him.
He wanted everything that Mu Qing could give him, which was a genuine problem because Feng Xin was fighting with every single feeling he had.
“Bullshit,” Mu Qing cursed as his eyes narrowed, he stared at Feng Xin’s face for a moment before he turned away with a huff.
It seemed as if he didn't care, but Feng Xin noticed the hunch of his shoulders, the way his chest puffed up in his anger that he held back, the way his brows creased and created a small wrinkle between them.
And Feng Xin didn't know why he noticed.
“Do whatever you want, just don’t mess it up.” Mu Qing’s voice sounded resigned as he looked back at Feng Xin. He seemed as if he had something, but he never said what Feng Xin wanted to hear. “I’ll be working in my room, don't bother me.”
Feng Xin hummed in reply, he didn't know what to say.
A few days ago he didn't even think he would see Mu Qing after eight years, and now he is fucking talking to him. And Feng Xin didn't know how to feel about that.
So obviously he didn't think about it.
It seemed the movers got all of Mu Qing’s things so he didn't have to fret over that. But the only problem was that Feng Xin had no idea where he had to put anything.
His decorating skills were more than less… questionable.
Mu Qing’s apartment was quiet and Feng Xin felt awkward just standing there. Opening one of the boxes that sat by the couch, Feng Xin immediately noticed the vases sitting snugly wrapped in paper blankets.
So… Feng Xin was just going to leave that there.
Mu Qing could work on decorations, Feng Xin was happy to unpack whatever else there was. Mu Qing’s apartment was a good size, with two bedrooms, an average-sized kitchen, two full-sized bathrooms, and a living room that could fit around five to six adults at once.
If Feng Xin were to be any closer to Mu Qing, he would definitely stay over at his house. Mu Qing decorated things nicely and it made the home more comfier.
But fuck it, Feng Xin was already here and Mu Qing better appreciate him.
And if he didn't then that was that. Feng Xin had nothing better to do anyway.
“Fucking hell,” he let out a soft groan as he stretched his back and picked up the exacto knife that was ironically sitting on the table in front of him.
He began to cut into each and every box near him, looking up every few moments as if waiting for Mu Qing to show up.
Maybe he wanted to see Mu Qing.
Feng Xin liked lying to himself.
“You’ve done one thing?” Mu Qing’s eyes flicked over to Feng Xin’s arms, Mu Qing’s hand was on his hip while he judged Feng Xin’s entire being with one scathing look.
“No,” Feng Xin frowned. “I did two.”
Mu Qing looked as if he was going to jump Feng Xin within the next second. “That’s not any better.”
Feng Xin furrowed his brows and began to cut the blade into the tightly wrapped plastic on the table. “Yeah yeah, who fucking cares. I'll be here all day so I can get a few things done at least.”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes. “At least?”
“Shut up, just because you can do a thousand things at once doesn't mean that everyone else can. There is a world outside of yours, idiot.” Feng Xin was five seconds away from punching the statement in Mu Qing’s face.
How much of an idiot did he have to be to be unable to understand one statement?
Feng Xin swore that there was a vein popping out on Mu Qing’s head, he glared at Feng Xin and Feng Xin could feel the heat run through his body.
“Don't tell me to shut up! You're in my apartment, act efficient for fucking once!”
“Act efficient? I’m here to help you.” Feng Xin’s voice came out as a snarl, his hands were fisted at his sides and he really was ready to jump Mu Qing.
Feng Xin dropped the blade on the table as he noticed Mu Qing moving near him. This was going to lead to some fucking fight.
This was it. Feng Xin was going to fuck up every chance he had to be civil with Mu Qing after eight years. Xie Lian was going to hate him and move on to Mu Qing instead!
Mu Qing fisted the front of Feng Xin’s shirt in his hands, he shook Feng Xin’s body and his face was just inches away from Mu Qing’s, and Feng Xin could barely breathe.
“Who do you think you are?! I tried to be civil but you're the one fucking everything up.” Mu Qing basically spat on Feng Xin’s face, and Feng Xin found it ironic that Mu Qing spoke his thoughts.
Feng Xin stumbled as he pushed Mu Qing off, his lips were twisted into a scowl as he tried to hold back from squaring Mu Qing straight into his face.
“Don't tell me shit! I’m here whether you fucking like it or not!” Feng Xin crossed his arms and watched as Mu Qing seemed even more angered by Feng Xin’s words.
Good.
Feng Xin hoped he was fucking angry, they fought much worse than that. But Feng Xin was just trying to get over this day as fast as he could. Mu Qing was just not letting him go, and Feng Xin only wished he could.
“You’re so annoying.” Mu Qing’s voice came out sounding gritted. He mimicked Feng Xin’s movements and crossed his arms over his chest. His dark eyes bore little holes into Feng Xin’s chest, and Feng Xin felt far too exposed.
“Yeah well, you're the fucking same. Now let me work already.” Feng Xin let out a sigh, and Mu Qing spared him one last glance out of the corner of his eye before he left.
It seeped into Feng Xin’s mind like honeydew that Mu Qing didn’t argue about Feng Xin staying here, he argued about everything else but that.
And Feng Xin couldn't help but miss his presence.
☼
November 12, 2023
Five hours felt like eight hundred years in Feng Xin’s opinion.
It was around 7 p.m. and Feng Xin was sure he had blisters all over his hands. His body ached and he wished to take a scalding shower in those moments.
They finished most of the work in the apartment, Mu Qing worked on building his own bedroom furniture as well as everything else that was in the guest room.
Feng Xin worked in the living room and in the bathroom, some pipes were fucked up and Feng Xin always had similar problems in his apartment so he decided to help Mu Qing in that much at least.
He said at least as if he wasn't working his ass off all day for Mu Qing.
All the basic furniture was up, Mu Qing was finishing the last of the kitchen table while Feng Xin sat on the now unwrapped couch.
His legs had a familiar burn and his body sweated like he just run a marathon. And he didn't find himself to mind, besides the few arguments with Mu Qing, it wasn't all that bad.
And he found himself enjoying Mu Qing’s company, just a bit.
Feng Xin closed his eyes and rested his head against the edge of the couch.
It was odd for Feng Xin to enjoy Mu Qing’s company, it was odd in general to even like anything related to Mu Qing.
And he wouldn't dare admit that he missed Mu Qing, because that would mean admitting to the several things Feng Xin tried to forget.
He was doing so good at just that, but then Mu Qing decided to waltz back into his life and Feng Xin was suddenly back at the start.
And his chest hurt, and Feng Xin didn't want to know why.
“Feng Xin!”
Feng Xin opened his eyes to Mu Qing towering over him. He squinted his eyes and stared up at Mu Qing with a confused expression.
“What are you yelling for?” Feng Xin mumbled as he rubbed his eyes with the bottom of his palms.
Mu Qing was still wearing the same hoodie that Feng Xin gave him in the car, and Feng Xin could only hold his breath as he attempted to sit up without looking like a flailing fish out of water.
“I’ve been calling your name for the last five minutes, it's not my fault you didn't hear me until I yelled.” Mu Qing dropped right beside him on the couch, but he still stayed a good distance away from him.
And Feng Xin’s body only ached as it begged to move closer.
Feng Xin hummed. “I didn't hear.”
Mu Qing shoved Feng Xin’s chest lightly and rolled his eyes, his lips curled into a frown as he stared at Feng Xin’s tired face. “What place do you want to eat from?”
Feng Xin paused, his hands curling in his lap as he turned his head to face Mu Qing. “Eat?”
Mu Qing rolled his eyes and let out an exasperated sound at Feng Xin’s question. “Yes, eat. It's already seven and I’m hungry. It's dinner time.”
“Oh,” Feng Xin decided to settle on.
It wasn't a very good response judging by the deepening frown on Mu Qing’s face. It wasn't a very good look on him, then again, it was the only thing Feng Xin had seen all day.
Maybe Mu Qing didn't like Feng Xin.
“I think… I want pizza.”
“That’s basic, you couldn't have chosen anything better?”
Feng Xin groaned and sat a bit straighter as he angled his body to face Mu Qing. “I’m saying for me, get whatever you want.”
Mu Qing stared at Feng Xin as if he was the stupidest person in the entire world. “I’m going to be sharing with you, I’m not paying for two separate things.”
Feng Xin almost seemed shocked at the statement.
Almost.
“I didn't think you'd do that.”
Something passed over Mu Qing’s face, and suddenly he looked far more closed off than before. Just when Feng Xin thought he got used to a civil Mu Qing, he just decided to fuck it up all over again.
“Yeah well I changed, you clearly didn't.”
And Feng Xin knew there was far more to that statement than Mu Qing let on. Feng Xin’s chest hurt, and he knew exactly why.
“No wait—”
His hand reached out to grasp at the edges of Mu Qing’s hoodie, but Mu Qing had already gotten off the couch and headed to the kitchen.
And he just slipped from Feng Xin’s grasp, again.
Feng Xin’s hand stayed outstretched for just a moment longer before he reared it in with a pitiful expression.
At this point, Feng Xin had basically traveled back in time. He returned to when he was just twenty years old and sitting on his porch waiting for Mu Qing to visit him.
He had no need to visit Feng Xin, but he always did. And Feng Xin dove into the attention Mu Qing gave him.
He would visit Feng Xin almost every day and Feng Xin would almost be spoiled by just how much Mu Qing gave him. And he got high off of whatever Mu Qing gave him.
It was only in small bits, but every piece was like a puzzle that Feng Xin loved to put together.
Mu Qing was a puzzle. And Feng Xin was so close to finishing all the pieces, but then one day, Mu Qing left and took all of his pieces with him.
And Feng Xin was always grasping the air in hopes that a piece would suddenly appear in his hands in the shape of Mu Qing.
But it was only ever the air, and Feng Xin loved to wish.
Feng Xin curled his hands in his lap, this was just part of life.
Have someone and then get over them because they led you on without saying a single thing for a whole eight years before your other friend called you and said that your traitor of a friend is back in town and needs some help.
And of fucking course Feng Xin agreed because he was such a great friend.
Feng Xin never got cold, and now he was cold all the time.
How fucking ironic.
The bell rang and Feng Xin was reminded that he couldn't just zone out in everyone's places. This was the part where Mu Qing would say he needed a fucking life.
Mu Qing hurriedly walked to the door and took out some cash from his pocket. He opened the door and it was pizza, there was a fucking delivery driver standing at the door with a box of pizza and another box of something smaller.
The smell of fresh pizza filled the house and Feng Xin’s stomach growled in response. It was clearly loud enough because Mu Qing’s eyes flicked over to Feng Xin’s stomach before his lip quirked up in a slight smile.
Feng Xin flushed in embarrassment and covered his stomach with his arms. He kept his eyes on Mu Qing, watching as he handed some cash to the delivery driver and gave them a small smile before taking the boxes in his hand.
Mu Qing never smiled at him like that.
But then again, that smile wasn't made for people Mu Qing was close with. It was just a polite smoke, nothing more. Yet Feng Xin couldn't help but feel jealous that the delivery driver got a puzzle piece before Feng Xin could.
Could Feng Xin even say he was close to Mu Qing?
Mu Qing’s eyes remained on the pizza boxes as he shut the door with his hip and locked it quickly before heading to the coffee table in front of Feng Xin.
And Feng Xin could only wonder how much time had passed since their last conversation. He spared a single glance at his watch.
7:46 p.m.
Since when did a whole fifteen minutes pass?!
Mu Qing wordlessly placed the boxes in front of Feng Xin before walking to the kitchen, coming back in mere moments with two plates and two bottles of water in hand.
“Here,” Mu Qing didn't face him as he handed Feng Xin a plate and a bottle before dropping down next to him.
And it was far closer to him than before, only by a few inches, but to Feng Xin, it felt miles closer.
“Thanks.” Feng Xin accepted the bottle and opened it before taking a large gulp, some water dripping down his chin and onto his shirt. He was extremely thirsty and being by Mu Qing only made him more thirsty. He already knew that Mu Qing would absolutely bitch about the mess.
But when he moved the bottle from his lips and hastily wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, he noticed how Mu Qing didn't say anything.
He was staring at his throat with a blank expression before he turned away with a bright flush on his cheeks.
Was he still cold?
The apartment was pretty warm, if anything Feng Xin felt a little warm. Maybe it was because he had opened the door and met the cold briefly.
Mu Qing didn't say anything else, so Feng Xin took it as a sign to open the smaller box first. There were brownies in there that Feng Xin knew were there to please Mu Qing’s sweet tooth.
He placed it in front of Mu Qing before moving to the box of pizza. Half of it was topped with vegetables while the other half had plain cheese.
And Feng Xin was reminded that he liked vegetables on pizza, Mu Qing remembered too.
He didn't say anything, didn't dare to even whisper anything.
The apartment was filled with the small hum of the heater while Feng Xin began taking out his slice of veggie pizza.
“Thanks,” Feng Xin whispered before he took a bite of the warm pizza.
And he didn't know if he was saying it to one thing, or a thousand things at once.
Mu Qing didn't reply, and Feng Xin already knew that he got it.
And Feng Xin fought with the pain resurfacing in his chest, eight years later and it was all back.
How fucking ironic.