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Daniel can't say he ever expected one of his duties as an aspiring Jigsaw assistant to be babysitting.
A Jigsaw assistant is what Amanda calls him and he thinks it's funny enough not to be something he'll complain about for the time being. One day he knows it'll be what he considers patronizing but for as long as he's still a minor in her eyes, Amanda made it clear it's nonnegotiable that he doesn't actually get involved in anything but basic trap assistance. Daniel is allowed to help her, pitch his own ideas every so often and hand her the tools she asks for. Anything else, she doesn't want him to be involved with.
With the original Jigsaw gone, he knows Amanda is calling the shots now. She decided to carry on John Kramer's legacy and even though people know about her involvement in his crimes, she has surprisingly managed to remain largely undetected. If anyone told Daniel he would be working for the person who's responsible for the hell he experienced in that nerve gas house, he would have scoffed in that person's face. He's come to realize that Amanda isn't the one who put him through that.
After his release from the hospital, she visited him countless times. He wasn't sure why she did it at first until he got the news of her working with Jigsaw. It wasn't a betrayal as much as it was a moment of clarity, an understanding that so much made sense with that in mind. Surprisingly enough, she visited him again even after and Daniel was shocked to find that he didn't care about what she did enough to tell someone about it.
Oftentimes, he felt as if no one was in his corner. Even before what Jigsaw put him through, he always felt distanced from other boys his age, disconnected from his parents and especially his dad. With Amanda, he felt that someone in the world understood him and that's a feeling that hasn't gone away. Part of Daniel expected to suddenly wake up from this delusion that convinced him he has a genuine connection with what has to be a serial killer at this point.
But that never happened. He couldn't let go of Amanda then and can't do it now. Not even when she told him the truth about what happened to his dad, how she wished he could have had en even worse ending and she would never in a million years forgive him for the pain he caused her and so many others. He always had his suspicions about the kind of person his dad was, the sudden reveal of the extent of his cruelty didn't surprise him as much as it should have.
Daniel didn't blame Amanda for what she did. To this day, he still can't bring himself to feel anything about his dad's death that isn't a disturbing sense of quiet apathy. He had missed him a lot when he was in that house but it was more what he meant, the security he would guarantee if he found Daniel, not the actual person his dad was. Because his presence was everything but comforting and in what he thought would be his final moments, Daniel clung not to the memory of his dad but to Amanda.
A woman who was a victim of his dad's selfishness.
In the end it was almost too easy, to choose this life. He vowed to help Amanda in whatever way he could and in return, he knows he can count on her for anything. Some nights he can't sleep unless he feels the comforting grip of her arms around him. And when those nights come, he doesn't say anything. He walks to her bedroom and he lies next to her on the bed, never needing to say a word before he feels her gathering him in her arms and holding him as his body shakes with sobs. They don't need words.
Most people don't understand Amanda. She's suffered a lot, much more than Daniel ever did. But they both suffered together at one point. They ran away from the same madman, they navigated the same trap house, they watched the same barbarities take place right before their eyes. He was there to hold her as she whimpered in pain, those needles in her skin a constant source of horror for him, a scene he often sees in his worst nightmares.
Daniel believes he understands Amanda much better than others do. Which is why he agreed to become her assistant, as silly of a title as it sounds when contrasted with what she asks of him. He does it because he wants to, not because he has no other choice. To be frank, Daniel doesn't think he would be able to let Amanda do this alone. More importantly, he doesn't think she should be alone. So he's always there for her, even if she acts like he's still a baby and will continue to do so for as long as he isn't old enough to drink yet.
Even if being there for her sometimes involves this.
"And if anything happens, anything at all, please do not hesitate to call me," Lynn insists for what has to be the tenth time tonight.
"Or me," Lawrence adds. "You do have my number, don't you? Adam, darling, did you give Daniel my number like I asked you to?"
At this, Adam rolls his eyes and gives Daniel a significant look. When their eyes meet, they're in agreement that both doctors need to relax a bit. Even though they know exactly why they're acting like this.
"Relax for a second, will you? He has it. Nothing's gonna go wrong. Mandy has the kid trained! If anyone tries to break in, Danny's gonna take 'em down Home Alone style."
As much as he appreciates Adam's faith in him and he's not wrong, Amanda did make sure to teach him the basics when it comes to self-defense, Daniel can't say he feels the Home Alone comparison is an appropriate one to make considering how close to their reality it is. Amanda approached him about a week ago and, in a deceptively casual tone, asked if he could handle dealing with kids for some time. When Daniel insisted she just tell him what she needs, she flat out asked him to watch Lynn's and Lawrence's kids while they all go on a double date.
And so here they are. Daniel has no idea where they're planning on going though he does know it's somewhere fancy. It's easy enough to gather that from the fact that Adam is reluctantly wearing a tie that he keeps fiddling with. Everyone is dressed like they're about to go watch the Oscars ceremony so Daniel can only guess they won't be going to Applebee's like Adam insisted they would. As much as he can't say he's very confident in his ability to get along with kids, Daniel at least knows he can watch over them.
"You got this, kid," Amanda says and she embarasses him by grabbing him by his cheeks and pulling his head down until she can kiss his forehead. "Take care of everything while we're gone, okay?"
Cheeks red and hands buried in his pockets, Daniel can only nod and avoid looking at everyone else who just witnessed this mortifying display of affection.
"Okay. Have fun."
His flat tone makes it sound like he's being sarcastic, which only serves to embarrass him further but Daniel disregards that to the best of his abilities and watches from the sidelines as Lynn, who he only recently stopped calling Doctor Denlon, peppers her daughter's face in kisses before stepping back to give Amanda space to give Corbett a quick hug. Lawrence, who he sometimes still accidentally calls Doctor Gordon, is whispering reassurances into his daughter's hair.
"We'll be back in just a few hours, okay? Mommy loves you," Lynn tells her little girl and then lifts her gaze to address Daniel. "Thank you for doing this."
Unsure of how to even act around her, Daniel awkwardly nods in dismissal in hopes that it doesn't come off as rude. He means for it to say he's happy to help and she doesn't have to worry about this being a nuisance to him, even though he has to admit he wouldn't exactly encourage her to ask him to babysit more often. Daniel isn't sure if he could be considered "good with kids". Still, he smiles when Lynn does because it's impossible not to smile back when she smiles at you.
"Behave, okay? No asking Daniel to give you ice cream before dinner," Lawrence tells his daughter, simultaneously authorative and gentle in a way Daniel hadn't ever seen from his own dad. "Don't let her trick you into doing that, Daniel. It doesn't matter how many times she accuses you of not being cool like Adam is, don't give into it."
At the mention of his name, Adam turns to ruffle Diana's hair and tells her:
"Sorry, kid. Not everyone can be as cool as me. Some people want to be lame like your dad."
Then he whispers something to her that Daniel can't catch and the girl giggles, an adorable sound that has Daniel feeling like he's got this for approximately ten seconds. The magic is gone when Adam waves at him and closes the door behind him, last one to get out of the house. And then suddenly it's just Daniel and two kids he's supposed to babysit for the night while their parents go on a double date. As if they rehearsed it, both girls turn to look at him at the same exact time, as if they expect him to know what they should do.
Daniel lets out a long sigh.
Honestly, he would much rather put on that stupid pig mask and go kidnap their latest game's victim.
***
"My name is sort of like a female version of your name. Daniel and Diana. You see how it's almost the same? But one is for a girl and the other's for a boy. Why do you think girls aren't named Daniel?"
"Uh," Daniel answers, caught off guard. "I don't know."
"A lot of names have the letter D. Diana, Daniel, Adam, Amanda."
"Yeah."
"My daddy's name doesn't have a D. Not the first name," Diana seems genuinely fascinated by this newfound discovery. "Did you know my stepdad has two last names?"
Daniel does know but he chooses to humor her and feigns surprise, as if nothing is more intriguing than a man with a hyphenated last name. It is sweet that Diana calls Adam her stepdad. He briefly wonders if Corbett is already at a point where she considers Amanda her stepmom. When he turns to look at her, he finds her sitting in the same position as before, holding that stuffed animal she can't seem to let go of with no indication that she's listening to anything they're saying.
Well, mostly Diana is doing the talking.
"What's your last name?" Diana asks with an expression that makes it clear that this is a crucial question and he must take it into consideration when he answers.
"Matthews."
For a second, he almost said Young. It would be a stupid mistake because as much as he doesn't have a dad anymore, he still has a mom. She calls him every now and then but she's convinced he's at college out of town. He knows she didn't want Daniel to find out but his mom is incredibly relieved to have him out of the house, not that she had been waiting for him to leave so she could start living again but because he knows she has trouble understanding him now.
The Daniel from before the Nerve Gas House house was an entirely different person. Sometimes he thinks that Daniel was the only one worth loving and whatever he is now, it's not something that should be even considered for more than a short second. He thinks he's undeserving of any consideration because he often finds himself wishing he wouldn't have to look at himself in the mirror, which is why he doesn't hold it against his mom that she was so eager to be rid of him.
I wouldn't know what to do with myself either, Daniel thinks and isn't that such a despairing thought to have?
"If my daddy married Adam, who do you think would take the other's last name?"
His attention is brought back to the present and Daniel does his best to disguise what he has been thinking of, wiping the tears from his eyes and giving Diana a secretive smile, hoping to make her laugh when he answers.
"I think they'd hyphenate it. Yeah. Adam Faulkner-Stanheight-Gordon."
Diana laughs loudly at this, absolutely delighted over such a dumb joke. That makes Daniel's heart do a somersault in his chest, maybe he isn't so bad at this whole babysitting thing. Feeling a bit bad for excluding Corbett from the joke and the conversation as a whole, Daniel moves closer to the little girl on the couch and gives her some attention. He knows enough about Corbett to feel like a dick for not paying as much attention to her in favor of another kid.
It's the last thing she needs after being made to compete for her parents' love and attention with her dead brother. It feels messed up to even think about it like that but he focuses on the pain she must have felt, losing a brother and then watching as her father turned to alcohol to solve all his issues and her mother essentially abandoned her. Of course things have changed and both Jeff and Lynn are doing what they can to make up for the damage they did but still, it isn't something one can just forget.
"You doing okay, Corbett?" Daniel asks.
"Mmhm."
Her nod makes him feel less bad as it doesn't look like the girl is having a bad time at all, she seems content to just watch Diana go on and on about what goes through her mind. Truth is, Diana and Corbett are very different from one another and Daniel should probably not measure their fun by the other's as if all kids this age are the same. Obviously, Corbett feels more comfortable staying on the sidelines, like Daniel himself had before and even now.
It doesn't mean she's not having fun, it just means she's not as outgoing as little Diana. It dawns on him that Diana was probably just as quiet and subdued for a pretty long time after the trauma she experienced. He's sure Lawrence did what he could to support his daughter while dealing with his own demons but if he had to credit someone other than her therapist for the bright and talkative little girl she turned out to be, it would be Adam. It's obvious he had a hand in this.
"Is there anything you wanna do?" he asks Corbett because he wants to give her the option.
For a moment it seems like she's about to shake her head no or simply shrug but in the end, there is something Corbett wants to do.
"Can we watch a movie?"
"Sure," Daniel nods and smiles when he turns back around to see Diana nodding enthusiastically. "What did you have in mind?"
At that, she does shrug. It seems that she can choose something to do but doesn't particularly care for the specifics of it. With that, both Corbett and Daniel have to turn to Diana as their only hope for someone who can suggest a perfectly age appropriate movie. They don't have to say anything for the girl's face to be darkened by a cloud of seriousness that doesn't fit a child's face, she looks so much like Lawrence it's unnerving. Finally, her face lights up and she seems to have an idea.
They end up watching The Princess Bride and although Diana is the one who seems to be more invested in the story, Corbett isn't far behind. Daniel misses the first fifteen minutes of the movie in his attempt to make popcorn without burning the house down and, even when he actually sits down to watch the movie, he can hardly keep his eyes open. Something about watching a movie in the comfort of their own home has a way of making people almost fall asleep multiple times.
Yet every time he can feel himself start to dream, one of the girls kicks him or smacks him upside the head to get his attention back on the movie. Because they had popcorn, they don't really feel hungry enough to have dinner and it's something that might get him in trouble with the girls' doctor parents but it is a hill Daniel is willing to die on, if only because he managed to successfully make popcorn and didn't burn it. In fact, Corbett even said his popcorn is the perfect amount of buttery and that's a compliment he will cherish for the rest of his life.
After much insistence from Diana, he agrees to go get the girls some ice cream and is given the infamous Diana stamp of approval and deemed cool. As they eat their ice cream, Diana and Corbett discuss the movie with the depth two script writers could never even hope to achieve one day. To hide the fact that he didn't actually pay much attention to the movie, Daniel agrees with everything Diana says because she picked it, she must know more about it than she's letting on.
"That one guy kinda looked like your dad," Daniel tells Diana at one point.
His only recollection of the movie was constantly waking up in confusion to find what looked like a baby faced Doctor Gordon on the TV screen, which happened multiple times.
"My mom said my daddy looked like a Disney prince when they first met," it's what Diana declares with clear pride in her voice.
As if unsure if she should even share what she has in mind, Corbett interjects in a hushed voice.
"One time my aunt said my dad looked like a hobo."
A shocked laugh is forced out of Daniel at the casualness of that statement but the girls don't seem to think it's funny. As a matter of fact, Diana seems to be almost offended by what Corbett said as if she's winning by claiming her dad was once compared to a homeless person. He's not sure what kind of game they're playing, sharing random slightly related facts about their dads. All he knows is that it's hard not to laugh at how they talk, kids can be so blunt sometimes.
"My daddy has a fake leg," Diana says and it sounds like she's trying to brag.
"My dad is an alcoholic," Corbett states, disturbing Daniel simply by getting the word right. "It means he drinks a lot."
"I know what it means," Diana snarks.
She has never looked or sounded more like Adam before. Somehow that's what prompts Daniel to call it a night.
"Alright, uh, I think we've had enough excitement for today."
His method of getting the girls to be excited about having to go to sleep is telling them they get to sleep in the room with the king sized bed, Amanda's room that she shares with Lynn. Daniel doesn't mean to come off as smug but he does think he nailed it, going as far as singing them one of Wrath of the Gods' most PG songs to help them fall asleep better. They both seemed to immediately deflate like two balloons when he claimed it was time to go to bed.
Telling them they'd get to have the big bed and they would sleep in the same room was the best way to go about this, especially since Diana seemed terrified at the prospect of sleeping by herself. When he tucked them into bed, Corbett clung to her stuffed animal tighter than she had before as if she assumed Daniel would try to take it from her. He doesn't know if it's part of her recovery, finding a way to sleep without it. But he knows damn well he won't be the one to steal this small comfort from her.
When Diana requested a story, he had offered to sing something instead and that's how he ended up singing a less explicit version of a Wrath of the Gods song for the kids. He's never been too good at making up stories but song lyrics are easier to memorize and replace if need be. Diana had no sense of personal space and seemed adamant that she and Corbett would cuddle, as she likely felt safer holding someone while she slept. In the end, they both fell asleep faster than he expected.
After he leaves the bedroom, Daniel is unable to actually stay away from it. As much as he tells himself that nothing bad will happen, he can't help but think back to the man in Diana's closet who waited until she believed to be safe to attack, something Amanda had told him. He tries to sleep but anxiety keeps him awake and pacing around the house, he can't sleep knowing something could happen to those kids and he would never forgive himself.
They're too young to have gone through so much, he thinks and that thought has him spiralling for a moment as he stops to actually wonder what he would do if something did happen. Logically, Daniel knows he can fight, he has been taught to but what if all instinct fails him and he finds himself paralyzed in fear, just as useless as he had been when he and the other people in the Nerve Gas House witnessed Xavier effortlessly lift Amanda up and throw her in that needle pit?
Sleep doesn't come for him, Daniel can do nothing but stand there leaning on the doorframe, chewing on his nails compulsively as he watches Diana and Corbett sleeping peacefully. At least they get to have a peaceful sleep, God knows they both deserve it after the shit they went through. His eyelids are heavy with the effort to keep his eyes open, keep himself awake. And still Daniel keeps waking up in a cold sweat, still standing there in the same position as before.
Eventually, he wakes up to find himself lying in his bed. Immediately, he tries to get up but a familiar voice shushes him and urges him back to sleep. There are fingers running through his hair, he smiles as he feels himself enter a more relaxed state. It feels that sleep does want to claim him this time and Daniel intends to let it happen. His brain keeps reminding him of Diana and Corbett, he opens his mouth and tries to resist the strong desire to finally let himself rest.
"The girls-"
"They're fine, kiddo," Mandy whispers to him. "Sleep, okay? You did great."
You did great, it echoes through his mind and Daniel feels himself smile when he finally does allow his brain to stop frying itself trying to figure out what type of danger he could be in next. With Amanda here, he knows nothing will happen. He knows she will protect him or die trying like she did back then, leading him towards safety and as far away from Xavier as possible. Her hands feel familiar but not just as someone he knows, as someone he feels as though he has known in a past life.
He feels that they're connected and it's not just because of their shared trauma. Daniel was meant to know Amanda and she was meant to know him. Maybe the one good thing that came out of all the horrible things his dad did, it allowed him to meet the one person he thinks genuinely understands him more than anyone else could. For that, he almost feels like he could be grateful for Jigsaw and for what happened in that house. But not quite, not quite.
Daniel thinks he understands Amanda better than anyone else ever could and if he could take a guess, he would say she feels the same way about him.
So when he thinks of a universe where he didn't have her help when he needed it the most, where she didn't manage to make it past John Kramer's final test for her, where they never went on to have the connection they have now, he can only wonder what would happen to him then.
Who is he if not someone who can be there for Amanda when she needs him, just as she had been there for him?
He thinks he wouldn't know what to do with himself in that universe but then again, does he know? Even now?
Daniel might not know exactly what he's doing with his life or even what kind of person he's become but he does know in the end, he wouldn't trade what he has now for anything in the world. Not even for the unreachable normal life Jigsaw robbed him of. Because he thinks in a world where he didn't go through what he went through, Amanda still suffered through everything she told him about. From her father's abuse to her wrongful imprisonment to the drugs, all of it.
And it might be crazy to think that but he would rather live in a world where they both suffered than in one where Amanda suffered alone.