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English
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Part 1 of Jason Todd aka Red Hood [DC]
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Published:
2024-01-26
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1,835
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1/1
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Father knows best

Summary:

Every member of the Wayne family was eating dinner at the Wayne manor because Bruce had questions and he needed answers.

Notes:

this AU is mostly about Matchmaker Bruce Wayne
Bruce asks his children if they have a plus one for Dick's and Barbara's engagement party, and judges if their plus one is fit for the event, if not he will choose a better partner for his children.

ps. english is not my first language

Work Text:

Every member of the Wayne family was eating dinner at the Wayne manor because Bruce had questions and he needed answers.

Bruce takes a gulp of his drink and clears his throat "I want to remind you that Dick's engagement party is soon and Alfred needs to know an approximate number of the guests that will attend, so I have to ask you if you'll bring a plus one."

Nobody says anything but they all think Bruce is just using Alfred as an excuse to start this conversation.

"Let's start with you, Jason," Bruce takes initiative like a teacher when nobody wants to answer.

"Why me?"

"You are the oldest, after Dick," Bruce adds the last part after reading Jason's mind and seeing he wanted to derail the conversation by pointing out that Dick is the oldest.

"Fine, I'm bringing Artemis."

"Absolutely not."

"What?! Why not?"

"I'm not letting you appear in society with someone who is using you."

"How is she using me?"

"She's not an American citizen."

"And?"

"Really Jason, I thought you were smarter than that, she's here on a working visa, what do you think will happen when it expires?"

"I didn't think about that."

"Well, I did, she's using you with the intent to keep her visa status in the U.S. and avoid deportation."

Jason is silent for a moment with a hurt look on his face "So you don't think it's possible that she just likes me, she must be using me, that's the only reasonable explanation in your head?"

"This isn't about you, Jason, it's about her."

"Sure, if you say so," says Jason while rolling his eyes, then points with his fork in Dick’s direction. "Just because Dick fell for a foreigner who wanted a visa doesn't mean it's the same with me and Artemis."

"Hey, don't throw me under the bus," Dick suddenly pays attention after hearing his name and his past mistakes.

"Why not, because you're the perfect son?"

“Because you also were under her spell, ready to swoop in when I broke up with her.”

“That’s bullshit!” Jason and Dick start bickering.

"Enough!" Bruce raised his voice and slammed his palm on the table. "You're being very immature right now, both of you."

"Yes, Dick has made mistakes in the past but now he's marrying a well-educated, intelligent, and presentable girl from a respectable family, but we don't know anything about Artemis."

"I know that she's an archeologist from Egypt and she's smart, independent, and strong. She doesn't need me for a visa."

“Isn't she from Greece?”

“Yes but she moved, wait how do you know that? Are you stalking her or did you hire a private investigator?”

“I don’t need to hire a private investigator, I can connect the dots myself. She's also too old for you," says a nonchalant Bruce.

"Now you're crossing the line, old man! And for your information I've had much older before, do you want to know who, huh?"

"Jason don't!" Dick tries to stop his brother from telling everybody at the table about his affair with Talia who happens to be Bruce's ex.

Bruce looks unimpressed at Jason "I do not care for your affairs with older women, just don't expose them to the public, we have an image to maintain."

"You only care about your precious public image."

Bruce ignores his comment "Listen, Jason, I've been talking with Slade Wilson and he suggested that you and his daughter Rose would be a good couple and I agree with him."

"Wilson is your idea of a good family, really old man, I thought you're smarter than this, that family probably has blood on their hands, they are involved in shady businesses with shady people."

"That's just gossip and conspiracy made up by his rivals."

"So you’re conveniently naive, but are you senile too? You forgot that Rose had a massive crush on Dick and when he rejected her she forced herself on Tim."

"What?! Is this true Tim?" Bruce's attention was focused on Tim now.

Tim was on his tablet not really paying attention but still heard everything they were saying.

"Yes, it's true."

Bruce's face became white as a ghost "When? Why didn't you tell me? What exactly did she do to you?"

"A while ago, she forcefully kissed me and tried to undress me, she didn’t go further than that, and I didn't tell you because you were on a week-long business trip."

"Why didn't you tell Alfred or Selina?"

"Alfred is already busy and stressed taking care of us. I didn't want to burden him more, and I thought Selina would do something drastic to Rose and end up making things worse, so I kept my mouth shut."

"I'm so sorry Tim, I wasn't there when you needed me, I've failed you," Bruce sounded devastated.

"It's ok, you have to work, you can't protect me all the time."

"You have to talk to a therapist about this."

"There's no need for that, my girlfriend helped me get over it."

"Girlfriend?! What girlfriend?"

"Stephanie Brown."

"I told you to stay away from that girl, her father is in prison."

"For getting angry at stupid people and beating them on live TV. He's just a game show host, it's not like he's some criminal mastermind."

"Also I'm bringing Steph as my plus one," adds Tim.

"Unacceptable!" Bruce went back to rage.

"Tim, be reasonable and at least consider my offer. My business manager Lucius Fox has a daughter your age. Her name is Tamara and I think you would get along well with her.”

“No, thanks.”

“Fine,” Bruce said through gritted teeth, ”then maybe you would prefer to meet my friend Diana's niece, she is around your age. She also has blonde hair, if that is your type, her name is Cassa-"

"Too late for that."

"What do you mean?"

"I already have a girlfriend and I love her and she's pregnant."

"Oh, shit!" Jason blurted out while everybody at the table was choking on their food.

Bruce feels he can't breathe, and tries to loosen his tie “Pregnant?!”

“Yes.”

"She's pregnant with your child?" Bruce must be thinking if he’s asking again maybe the answer will change.

"Yes," responds Tim.

“Damn Timmi didn’t know you had it in you, to get a girl pregnant while in high school and disappoint dear old dad,” Jason decides to pour some gasoline into the fire.

“How did something like this happen?”

“The usual way.”

"You boys are going to give me a heart attack," Bruce puts his hand over his chest and starts a breathing exercise.

Quick breaths. Right? He’d practiced this. One, two, three. One, two, three.

"I don't believe this, I need proof, a paternity test."

"Sure, after she gives birth."

"You're awfully calm about this Tim. Are you on drugs or something?"

"I've had time to get used to the idea."

"How long?"

"A month ago we found out, now she's 3 months pregnant."

"You're still in high school Tim!"

"I’m gonna finish high school in a few months."

“I was expecting something like this from Dick or Jason but not from you Tim.” Jason and Dick didn't even bother to pretend to be offended, they knew indulging in promiscuous sex could’ve ended up in an unwanted pregnancy, but they got lucky, so far.

“You were supposed to go to college and take over the company,” Bruce sighed "It’s my fault I've failed again. Now it's too late to change anything," Bruce was not angry anymore, he looked defeated.

 

“Father, may I speak?” Damian decides to break the silence.

“Sure.”

"I also have a plus one for the engagement party."

"You're too young for a plus-one, Damian."

"I am 15 years old, I'm not a child, father.”

"Fine, who is your plus one?"

"Rachel Roth."

"Absolutely not! Unacceptable!"

"What's wrong with Rachel?"

"She's part of her father's satanic cult, I don't want you near that."

"Father I promise you she's not part of the cult, she doesn't even live with her father she moved in with Zatanna and Constantine.”

“Like he’s any better, I can’t fathom, why is Zatanna with a low life like him.”

“I admit he is peculiar but I don’t care about her parents or pseudo-parents, I only care about Rachel and I like her."

"I will not listen to any of this, if you want a plus one I'll find you somebody else."

“I didn’t ask you to set me up with some unknown spoiled rich girl.”

“Damn, the kid has standards.”

"Then how about Roy's daughter, Lian? She’s neither unknown nor spoiled."

"She's too young for me, and I don’t know her that well."

“Too young for you?! What are you planning on doing with your date, a repeat of Tim’s doing, only worse because you are barely 15!” Bruce lost his cool completely, he was shouting.

“Of course not, don’t compare me with these uncontrollable horndogs, who can’t keep it in their pants at the sight of a woman.”

“Hey watch your mouth, kid!” Jason warned him.

“We’re not that bad, you make us sound like cavemen.”

“If I’m wrong then how do you explain Tim's predicament?”

“Stop acting so high and mighty, it’s not going to end well for you.”

Damian ignores his brothers, he’s on a mission “Father, I already invited Rachel, I'm not going back on my word."

“I fail to understand why you bother to ask for my permission if you have no intention of listening to my opinion.”

“I wanted to let you know because I respect you, father.”

Bruce regretted arranging this dinner, he didn’t expect his children to be so stubborn and fixated on their bad choices and flat-out reject his well-thought alternatives.

"Cassandra I already have a plus one for you, it's Connor," Bruce thinks maybe if he straight up voices his plans first it will go better than what he did until now.

"Conner Kent?"

"No, Connor Hawke, the son of my friend Oliver."

"But I already invited Conner Kent."

"The farm boy?! Cass, you're a ballerina, he's a farmer, you're too different, he's out of his league, he can't fit in."

“He’s not a farmer, he's just from a small town.”

Bruce just can't get one win today.

 

Later Bruce was brooding inside his home office.

"Any changes to the guest list, master Bruce?"

"Yes, I couldn't reason with any of them, I will let them bring whoever they want, but I still have a backup plan for them. Maybe they'll change their minds once they socialize together. I'm still inviting Connor Hawke for Cassandra, we should cross off the list Rose Wilson after what she did to Tim she's out of the question, I think that reporter Kara Danvers would be better for Jason and wouldn't hurt to have good relations with the press. Maybe we should invite Roy Harper’s daughter for Damian, as for Tim, it’s too late and pointless to try to change his mind.”

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