Work Text:
Akutagawa hated the feeling of being cold.
He hated the uncontrollable shivering that wracked his body, the way it made every breath burn (more than they already did). So whenever there arose a day labeled with a telltale snowflake, he didn’t even bother trying to go into work.
Now he peered outside of his bedroom window, fingers leaving trails in the fresh condensation. Soft snores came from behind him as Atsushi continued to sleep, unaware of the bustling city that surrounded their apartment. Six stories below, car horns honked despite the absurdly early hour and commuters made their way to early jobs carrying coffee in one hand and a bag in the other. It was strangely tranquil in a way that Akutagawa from three years ago never would have believed he’d be allowed to experience.
Small white flakes had begun to slowly drift down from the sky, melting upon contact with the window and leaving small droplets of water in their wake that moved slowly down the pane.
Akutagawa's hand trembled slightly as he pulled away, and he winced as he clutched it to his chest.
The clock told him it was but five thirty, plenty of time for him to try and grab some extra sleep, even if he did need to go to work. He laid down carefully, painfully aware of the way the sheets had lost their warmth since he’d risen the first time, now snow to his already ice-like skin. Face to face with Atsushi he brushed away small strands of white out of the others face, allowing a small smile to surface as Atsushi leaned into the touch and purred quietly. The were-tigers lips parted slightly with each breath, face fully slackened and the least tense it would be all day.
He swore that the agency treated him well, but Akutagawa knew that he was still struggling. He’d been working on a case surrounding the Yokohama orphanage recently and it was dragging up a lot of memories that left Atsushi gasping for breath in their bed night after night.
He’d never truly had the time to process everything that had happened, so he’d never developed any methods that could help him cope outside of self-deprecation and destruction. How could he when he had Dazai for a mentor.
The previous port mafia executive seemed dedicated to his new job in the light, but the scars that never faded from Akutagawa's body still made him paranoid enough that he tended to check Atsushi for injuries the moment he got home.
Atsushi always gave him one of those sad smiles whenever he did that, like it was unnecessary, but Atsushi had only known the Dazai who’d given him a home, not the Dazai who had beat sixteen year old Akutagawa within an inch of his life repeatedly and shot a bullet at his head without a care as to whether Akutagawa's ability would save him or not.
He didn’t understand that no matter how much Dazai had changed on the outside, he could never change the man at his core. The man who would and could manipulate anyone and anything to aid his goals. And for right now, it benefitted him to be “kind” to Atsushi. Akutagawa had a plan in place should that ever change, but he feared it wouldn’t be good enough if the situation arose. It could never be good enough.
Akutagawa blinked as a soft hand touched his face. Atsushi was awake now, eyes soft slightly crinkled in concern. Akutagawa pulled away and sat up, burying his face in his knees.
He’d been spiraling again. It made Atsushi sad when he spiraled, and when Atsushi was sad the world dimmed a little bit, and Akutagawa couldn’t bear to lose more color, not before he was entirely black and white.
He hadn’t noticed that his breath was beginning to pick up, heartbeat slamming erratically in his chest. He was still so cold, so, so cold.
Ryu hated the cold. It was gross and wet and he hated the way it made him and Gin all soaked.
Gin coughed quietly behind him, six years old and struggling to breathe, like every gasp of air burned her.
They’d been kicked out of the warm alley they’d been sleeping in for a few weeks that morning, driven out by the police officers who seemed to have a nose for kids who weren’t where “children were supposed to be”.
Too bad they didn’t have hearts for them either.
Ryu had managed to scavenge some old bread from the bakery up the street, the old woman who was working seemed to take pity on them whenever they were particularly roughed up.
And roughed up Ryu certainly was.
Blood dripped sluggishly from a cut on his head, and a burn, obtained from the radiator he’d been thrown into, ate its way through his core with its vicious fire.
But even that fire was not enough to warm the snow that landed on the Akutagawa sibling’s heads in a slow flurry of slow death.
And Ryu knew it would be slow. First they would begin to lose feeling in their fingers and toes, until they eventually turned black and fell off. Then the cold would become all encompassing and they would inevitably fall asleep and never wake up.
Ryu pulled his sister closer to him, wrapping his arms around her face to try and shield it from the bitter wind. She whimpered quietly, and didn't say anything. She hadn’t said anything in a few days, or responded that much in general. Ryu was scared that if something didn’t change soon she wasn’t going to survive, and Ryu wouldn’t survive that.
Something needed to change.
“Ryu,” someone said, urgently.
Ryu looked around for the source of the noise. There was nothing around them except for a murder of crows flapping around on the ground.
“Ryu come on, we’re at home in bed.”
Oh Ryu did know that voice, it was Atsushi. But he wasn’t supposed to know the were-tiger yet, he was only a child. Unless this wasn’t the present. Fuck.
Ryu came back into the present almost as quickly as he’d slipped out of it. He choked on his first breath, doubling over coughing violently, small splatters of blood staining their white sheets. Atsushi was rubbing his back comfortably as he heaved, continuing to purr until Ryu was able to breathe just a little better.
“What was it?” he asked gently, making sure to keep one hand pressed to his lover, grounding him.
“The snow. I was cold.” Ryu managed to rasp, each word feeling like a punch to the throat he was barely able to recover from before the next.
At that Atsushi left the bed, making sure his body was always facing towards Ryu, face never out of his sight, and collected their spare blankets from the chest at the end of their bed. He draped them across their shoulders, drawing their bodies closer together to preserve the little warmth Ryu still had.
The warmth soothed Ryu nearly immediately and all of the fight left his body as he melted, going boneless against Atsushi. Images of a nearly frozen Gin continued to flutter through his mind, the way her little nose had turned purple alongside her ears, until they were nearly the color of her hair.
Tears began to come to Ryu’s eyes and he fought them back with a vengeance. He couldn’t cry. He’d already broken down in front of Atsushi once today, he wouldn’t do him the disservice of soaking him with tears.
“Do you want me to call Chuuya and tell him you’re sick and won’t be in today?” Atsushi murmured, fingers combing gently through black and white tresses. Ryu shook his head no.
He’d been preparing for today for weeks, he couldn’t afford to miss it, even if he was sure Chuuya could handle it on his own. There was a pivotal meeting between the agency and the port mafia regarding the future of the alliance, and both Soukokus were expected to at least attend if not speak to the potential goals or pitfalls the alliance could bring. Chuuya might forgive him for missing, but Mori certainly wouldn’t.
Dazai wouldn’t.
Atsushi and Ryu remained in their cave of blankets for some amount of time, it could have been minutes, but more likely hours. By the time Ryu had the strength to lift his head from the blankets the snowfall had increased, but the sun could barely be seen behind the clouds.
He tried to push his whole body to a sitting position, but found he couldn’t find the energy. He must have made a face because Atsushi raised one eyebrow, silently asking for permission. Ryu nodded his assent and Atsushi lifted him up carefully, placing him into a chair beside the bed. He disappeared for a moment and returned with Ryu’s work clothes, carefully lifting the mafia members arms through the sleeves as he drifted in and out of consciousness.
By the time the two of them were fully dressed, Atsushi paused for a moment and turned back towards Ryu.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to call Chuuya? You and I both know this isn’t a good idea, especially if Dazai is going to be there.”
Ryu felt like the world was on the other side of a plastic shield, but he managed a response.
“I’ll be fine. We need to leave now or we’re going to be late.”
Deep down he knew Atsushi was right, but this was a risk he needed to take for both of their sakes. He could push through. Probably.
By the time they were able to get out of the apartment, Atsuhsi and Ryu were already running late. Ryu heavily leaned on an intricate iron cane, given to him by Chuuya after the defeat of the decay of angels.
It thunked quietly on the pavement, leaving slight indents in the snow as the two walked as quickly as they could to the train station. They just barely caught it, both out of breath as they collapsed into two seats on the nearly empty train.
Atsushi’s eyes began to waver a little bit, growing unfocused as they often did on this train. Despite Kaji’s effectiveness at his job, Ryu did hate that this was what was left in his wake.
Ryu squeezed his hand, rubbing his thumb gently over calloused knuckles. Tunnel lights flashed by at lightning speed, the tracks screeching as the car came to a halt.
The second the doors were open the two were out of the train, hurrying towards the stairs that led them to the light of the main street.
The meeting was to be held in the Gifted Special Operations building, somewhere neither the agency nor the mafia held advantage as mutual holders of gifted business permits. Was the legality of having the mafia in a government building questionable? Absolutely yes, it was a miracle it was approved. However the GSO was willing to try most things if it meant having further control over their biggest firecrackers.
Entering the dark glass sliding door, Akutagawa was met with four men in black suits who immediately fixed him with withering glares.
“Put your hands up” the largest one instructed, hand very visibly on the gun at his side. Akutagawa slowly raised the hand that wasn’t fiercely clutching the cane that kept him standing. You didn’t survive on the streets for as long as Akutagawa had without developing a fear of law enforcement.
“Cane on the ground, both hands up.” another barked, gesturing stiffly with one hand. Atsushi tried to reach over, flagging down the attention of the officers
“Hey!” he called out, “he needs that to walk, you can’t take that from him!”
“He’s a criminal, and it could be used as a weapon” the officer insisted, “He needs to put it down and put his hands up now or we’re going to have to take measures.”
Akutagawa inhaled shakily, his hand already raised visibly trembling. The invisible plastic shield had come down around him again, distorting the voices to little more than incoherent mumbling. Slowly, he dropped his cane, letting it crash loudly to the ground, and tried to raise his other hand.
He managed to stay upright until the officers came within a foot of him, but the world began to wobble, and he was forced to sink to his knees, head hanging limp. The world went dark for a moment and Atsushi was kneeling in front of him.
His eyes were gentle, and his voice soft, but the tension in his shoulders was unmistakable. Ryu squinted his eyes, trying to block out some of the lights, but stopped as Atsushi held his hands up like blinders. Even though Ryu couldn’t make out the words yet the voice washed over him like honey, calming his nerves until he was breathing more evenly.
The world seemed to go by in slow motion for the next few moments, Atsushi the only thing that mattered. Ryu’s cane was placed back into his hand, and he became vaguely aware that he was being led outside again into the snow.
Akutagawa hated the feeling of being cold.
It was numbing, more so than any drugs you could get on the backstreets. It soaked into Ryu’s socks and feet until he was no longer convinced he had them.
Gin hadn’t woken up since yesterday.
She had fallen asleep early in the afternoon, but instead of waking up her breathing continued to grow shallower until Ryu had to occasionally hold a hand in front of her face to see if she was breathing at all. She wouldn’t for much longer.
Ryu needed a plan, and he needed one fast. They had to find somewhere inside, it didn’t matter where, but the cold killed them faster than he had expected. Even the nice lady who usually gave them the old bread had stopped leaving it out for them.
Steeling his resolve, Ryu braced himself against the alley wall, tucking Gin under their only blanket, so threadbare it offered nearly no protection from the elements, and began his search.
His eyes scanned shopfronts and boarding houses, he could probably pass for 13 or 14 if he needed to in order to get a job, maybe they could use that money to rent an apartment or something. Anything. But the few shops that had even let him in in his torn bedraggled state had immediately refused him when he brought up employment. Not good.
Before he knew it, he had entered Suribachi city, the massive crater of the city where you were more likely to be stabbed than greeted in the morning. An old man leered at him from around a corner, yellowed teeth bared in a grin that screamed danger.
Shadows seemed to loom over the entirety of the streets and alleys, creating a kind of perpetual twilight.
Ryu kept his head down, intentionally avoiding any potential eye contact. The numbness in his feet had turned to stabbing pains that made him waver at every step.
He just needed to find somewhere they could sleep.
By the time Atsushi had gotten them back to the apartment, Ryu was mostly asleep on his feet. Chilled to the bones, his coat did little to protect him from the elements. The front door locked behind them, and Atsushi swept Ryu into his arms, cradling his head close to his chest. Ryu let out a small murmur of contentment. H
He liked being warm.
He felt himself be carefully lowered onto their bed, blankets, numerous and soft, being placed on top of him.
A hand caressed his head, moving the front pieces off of his face so that when he breathed he didn’t inhale them. It was nice. Really nice.
His eyes had been closed since they’d entered the apartment, but Ryu forced them open for a moment to see Atushi lying next to him, eyes soft but sad. Ryu didn’t like it when Atsushi was sad. He opened his mouth to try and whisper to him, but no sound came out.
Atsushi noticed this however and placed his other hand on Ryu's.
It didn’t take him long to fall asleep after that.
When Ryu woke up again the world was lighter. Sunlight streamed through the windows, reflecting the blinding white snow that had collected on the outside of the window sill.
Atsushi had left an indent in his side of the bed, but was no longer there. Right. He had work too.
This time, Ryu found he did feel okay enough to get up, and he did so, leaning heavily on his cane.
Sounds of quiet chatter echoed from the kitchen, and Akutagawa paused at the door, trying to identify the voices, trying to ignore the paranoia that pricked up his spine. One of them was definitely Atsushi, tone light and joyful. The other voice was lower, and carried a distinct growl that Ryu only associated with one person.
He stepped into the kitchen, bowing quickly to Chuuya before taking a seat at one of the island stools. Atsushi came over quickly, placing a hand to Ryu’s forehead, relaxing when he felt no more heat than usual. The hand came down to rest next to Ryu’s and he took it gratefully.
“Chuuya, respectfully sir, what are you doing here?” he asked carefully. Chuuya shrugged.
“Just came to check out why the other half of the alliances didn’t show up this mornin. Bandages and I took care of everything, he actually did his job for once, but we weren’t sure if something had happened to you two.”
He took a long sip from a steaming mug before placing it back onto the counter.
“Are you alright?”
That question was one reason Ryu truly enjoyed Chuuya’s company. Unlike Dazai some others he did genuinely care about the safety of his subordinates. Ryu tried to take some of the ice out of his resting glare and nodded.
“Yes Chuuya, I am doing fine thank you for your concern.”
“I’ve invited Chuuya to stay for dinner” Atsushi blurted out, color coming into his cheeks.
Ryu nodded, squeezing the other hand in a silent all good.
Chuuya rose from his seat, opened the fridge, and began to pull out ingredients. Carrots, stock, beef, potatoes, all the things to make soup. Atsushi was delegated to chopping duty while Ryu was in charge of stirring the pot. Chuuya supervised and made sure that neither of them, admittedly not good cooks, hurt themselves in any major way.
Steam clouded the air, and for the first time that day Ryu felt like he could truly breathe.
They carried light conversation, how Chuuya’s two cats, Cinnamon and Nutmeg, had discovered colored paper, little bits of nonsensical happenings of the agency, Atsushi giggled particularly hard when detailing the way in which Kenji got criminals to confess. Chuuya had cocked an eyebrow.
“So he just kindnesses their way into prison?”
Atsushi nodded.
“The first time we were paired together on a mission he nearly got us killed by a local gang, and then afterwards when we got lunch he passed out so hard that I had to carry him back to the agency!”
Chuuya laughed, brushing red curls out of the way as he pulled bowls down.
The soup was delicious, warming Ryu to the bones in a way that he hadn’t experienced in a long time.
As the last bits of day began to fade from the sky, replaced by pinks and oranges, and then blues and purples, Chuuya collected the dishes from the table before grabbing his coat.
“I believe that’s my cue to leave. Can we expect you at work tomorrow, Akutagawa?”
He nodded. “Yes Chuuya.”
The older man smiled, the one that was usually reserved for Dazai.
“Okay then, don’t be afraid to call.”
And then he was gone.
Atsushi made quick work of the dishes while Ryu wiped down the table, and before he knew it, they were back in their bed. The sounds of the still bustling city were distant through the windows, reminders that they were not the only residents of this moment, even if it felt as though they were the only residents that mattered.
“Are you cold?” Atsushi asked quietly. Ryu shook his head no, allowing himself to take in the moment around him. His lover, curled against his body, in a home that they had made together against all odds.
Yes, Ryu really loved being warm.