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Ao'nung had several times told the Omatikaya children who they were teaching to live among them that they were not really like them, that they could pretend as much as they wanted but that their deep nature would never be Metkayina. One day they were going to go home in the trees, no matter what they said right now.
He was not just saying it to be mean, he meant it and he was not the only one to think that way. What was the point of denying the obvious when it was so blatant?
Seeing Neteyam flying freely on his Ikran was just another proof of that, he was a Na'vi of the forest and the sky, not the sea... but it was also the first time Ao'nung thought so with a touch of bitterness.
The Ikran was flying large circles in the sky, diving and even gliding through the water, swimming a short distance before returning to the sky with its hunter, and many curious and admiring Metkayina had gathered to watch. look. That was the thing about Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk’itan: he was a true Na’vi. An Omatikaya, of course, but a real Na’vi. His fingers were no different from theirs, he had no eyebrows, and everything about him exuded the deep essence of what a Na'vi was.
The Metkayina did not see many strangers, but that did not mean they never did. There were different kinds of Na'vi, once the novelty of the physical differences between them had passed they remained children of the Great Mother.
And Neteyam was a courageous, capable and honourable young hunter who had proven himself, making himself appreciated even by other Olo'eyktan and Olo'eykte like Akwey of the Olangi clan or Ikeyni of the Tayrangi clan. There was basically nothing Ao'nung could really find faulty in someone so accomplished and someone even his own parents respected. Besides, he was his age and was both taller, stronger and more used to fighting on earth, it would be stupid to pick on him even if he annoyed him.
That was the problem, though: he did not bother him. The mere sight of Lo'ak's face made him want to punch the idiot who was only a year younger than him, but Neteyam did not arouse this violence in him. Even now that he was attracting the attention of the Clan and garnering praise, he did not feel as strongly as expected the burning jealousy he sometimes felt around comrades of his own Clan.
He was not sure why.
The Ikran was beautiful and colorful without being motley, and Ao'nung supposed its colours were well suited to where he lived before, being green with yellow and brown stripes would make sense in a forest. It was an annoying thing about Neteyam, he just seemed perfect in everything he did, even when adapting to their lifestyle, he did it well: with dedication, patience and open-mindedness, never complaining or getting annoyed. Neteyam landed briefly on the sand, helping his little sister to climb with him, and soon the youngest Omatikaya was laughing high above their heads under the tender gaze of just about every adult with children or young people who had younger siblings. Ao’nung was unfortunately one of them. Tsireya was only two years younger than him but sometimes he saw her as much younger. He felt very protective of her, it was a thing in which he recognised himself in the idiot with the tail too thin to swim.
Speaking of Tsireya, she joined him with Kiri, the two girls talking about the Ikrans. There were not really any of those creatures here, they were not made for this habitat.
"It must be an incredible feeling, flying, don’t you agree Ao’nung?"
"I don't know, I rather like swimming," he replied without answering, absently stroking the head of his Ilu who always demanded his attention when he sat like that on the edge of a pontoon.
She did not like it when he said mean things in front of them so he tried to keep it to a minimum.
"Would you like to try?" Kiri asked Tsireya with a cheerful smile, yet Ao'nung did not think she had an Ikran herself.
If she was going to get Lo'ak to fly his sister with him, he did not care what his parents would say, he was going to beat him until the Omatikaya was grounded.
"Do you think I could?"
"Of course! Neteyam! Tsireya would like to fly! Neteyam!"
Soon the Ikran was on the beach again but right next to them, alone again after teasingly throwing his little sister who had probably wated it into the water since she was not complaining as she swam towards them, laughing loud enough for them to hear it even from afar.
"Of course, take my hand."
If Ao'nung thought he knew acerbity and anger, he discovered that this was not the case: this was rage. It was completely stupid and irrational, the other hunter had never made a slightest gesture other than friendly towards her and vice versa, but a dark and icy emotion held his heart and compressed his lungs while his sister, pretty and gentle Tsireya, accepted the outstretched hand with a big smile to which the Omatikaya responded with his own kind and attentive smile.
He hated how he was so perfect... and how well-matched he and his perfect sister were as well. It was as if they were made for each other, and although he, like almost everyone else, had noticed Lo'ak's attraction to Tsireya and was amused by it, Neteyam might also be attracted to her and wait until she became an adult in the eyes of the People to make his interest known, it was hard to tell at this point. And Tsireya's feelings were a mystery to Ao'nung, his little sister certainly did not talk to her about these things. He knew she was flattered that he found her beautiful, but he did not think there was anything more than friendship just yet.
He hated it, but he could not do anything about it, anyway it was too late and ridiculous: what did he hope for, that Neteyam, wise and kind Neteyam, strong and protective Neteyam, accomplished hunter and warrior Neteyam would turn his eyes towards him and finds him worthy? He was not even really an adult yet himself even if he was old enough and it would not be long before that now, but Neteyam was already a man for the People, Kiri had told them about it by telling them about the Iknimaya, the ritual of the hunters of their clan, when a Na'vi bound himself to an Ikran and became Ikran Makto. He had taken the Iknimaya at thirteen, two years before, and had succeeded on the first try, unlike Lo'ak who had to start again and almost died.
Next to him, Ao'nung was nothing, there was no reason for him to stand out apart from being the son of Olo'eyktan Tonowari and Tsahìk Ronal.
Suddenly, a large figure fell from the sky and obscured his vision, hiding the ocean from him and scaring away his Ilu, and Ao'nung found himself pinned to the wood, his heart beating wildly in his chest as an Ikran dominated him to his full height.
A bite while he was unarmed and vulnerable would likely be enough to kill him.
A stupidly beautiful and elegant dark-blue face appeared beyond one wing as the Omatikaya who made his heart beat even faster by his mere presence helped his sister down safely and without causing the Ikran to react. Then the Na'vi turned to him, his kind and happy smile surprisingly not faltering.
"Do you want to try it too?"
He had not expected him to propose this to him too.
"No," he answered slowly, hoping it would not come off as impressed and intimidated as he felt.
Neteyam's smile faltered but he did not insist, nodding gently.
"As you wish."
As soon as he had flown away again, Ao'nung called his Ilu to move away. He needed to clear his head.
*
It was hard to clear your head when you were experiencing one-sided love from someone you claim to despise, especially when he lived in your village and especially when he was one of the people you hung out with the most because he was: your age, friend with your little sister, and one of the people you had to teach your ways.
He was almost impossible to ignore because he was there all the time.
Now he could not even avoid him when he was looking for a moment to himself at nightfall.
He was sitting on the sand at the water's edge, looking into the distance where the sky and the sea met, and before he could turn around, Neteyam had noticed him.
"Ao’nung."
"Neteyam."
Since it was impossible to act as if he had not seen him and since he refused to leave because it would make him look like a coward, he approached and let himself fall near the other, unable to stop himself from looking at him more closely and comparing how different their bodies were. They were both Na'vi, but they did not really look alike.
"What are you doing here?"
"I come here almost every evening, what are you doing here?"
The young man shrugged his shoulders, silent.
"I needed to be alone, I guess."
Ao’nung tilted his head, confused, before understanding and sympathizing.
"Yeah, I get the idea."
Three little brothers and sisters who always got into trouble even without outside intervention, that must have been difficult to live with, not to mention Jake's attitude which was just irritating to everyone. Lo'ak did not just lie to protect Ao'nung, he also did it because he honestly thought his father would not believe him. What kind of father was this man for his son not to trust him to see the truth in his words? Even his own parents had realized something was wrong and had reprimanded him after he confessed in the privacy of their marui, Jake had realized nothing and he had such influence over his family that Ao'nung doubted that Neytiri looked further either.
Not to mention that some had heard the chief of the family say unnecessarily harsh words to Neteyam after Lo'ak's mishap, and Ao'nung really blamed himself that it had fallen on him because it was unfair: how could he could you have known? Ao'nung and his friends had purposely taken him alone without any of his relatives and without warning anyone, what did he think, that Neteyam must always be watching them? That was not his role, he was not supposed to be another parent for his siblings when the real parents were healthy and present and would rather just do their own thing and play warrior and leave their children unsupervised. Often, Ao'nung just felt like Neteyam would like to be a child but was forced to be an adult too quickly.
"Did anyone say anything to you? You don't seem like the lonely type."
"My father-"
"Your father is stupid."
"He is not-"
"Neteyam. You don't need to answer that, you are more Na'vi than could be, you are wise and rational, your heart is noble and you see in people. He is not wise or rational, he does not see, that's the way it is, there is nothing you can do about it and it does not affect your own value."
The other looked at him as if he had gone crazy and Ao'nung shrugged. He did not like seeing someone so amazing and kind doubt about himself because of an asshole.
"Do you like it, being here?" He asked randomly to change the subject.
The Na'vi turned to look around, ears twitching as if to catch the slightest sound before he moved a little closer to the water, speaking towards the horizon as if afraid of being heard.
"I miss the forest, I miss it a lot, I didn't want to leave even if I accepted it. I like being here though. I love how simple and peaceful life is here, it’s something I haven’t experienced in… a very long time."
"It was war at home, right?"
"Yes. Against the Sky People."
"How was it?"
"Chaotic and disordered, I was thirteen when they came back, and… how can I explain it, suddenly everything changed? My gentle and loving father became tougher, our mother says it's his past that resurfaces because of the war, because my father was that kind of warrior too on the planet they all come from. Everything went downhill so fast, we had to know how to fight and we had to fight, everywhere… all the time. I'm quicker to learn and I have good reflexes, but others... others my age haven't had the luck to make it. Some were my friends."
"Did you had to fight often?"
"Lo'ak not much, he is impetuous and unpredictable, you have already realized that, but for my part yes, they often took me with them."
Ao’nung moved closer without thinking much, leaning his shoulder against his. No matter how precocious he was and how great a hunter he was, no thirteen-year-old Na'vi should do this. It was madness.
"The worst part of it all was that more than once I felt like what we were doing was pointless, it was like fighting the tide, no matter what we did they would be back, again and again, and their numbers increased much more than ours. If we hadn't found refuge in the Ayram alusìng where their devices couldn't follow us... we probably would have been wiped out.
"I'm sorry."
"It’s peaceful here, I like it… but at what cost?" The other continued, his eyes lost in his memories. "Our Clan, what happened to them now that we are gone? Not knowing gnaws me away from within and every day I feel like a coward for abandoning them and leaving. There is also Spider, a human boy who is our age, he grew up his whole life on Pandora and you would love him even if he is completely a demon for the Na'vi, he is totally one of us where it matters. Humans captured him, we don't know what happened to him. Did they torture him? Did they kill him? He was like another brother to us."
Ao'nung watched with concern as the mask cracked and a deep torment overflowed that ended in silent, desperate crying and he hesitantly leaned in to pull the other boy closer to him. The crying increased: not a good plan.
"I'm sorry that this happened... but Neteyam, you are not responsible for anything and there is nothing you could have done if even the adults couldn't change anything."
"I should have-"
"Nothing of that," he insisted, placing a hand over his mouth. "It's not your fault, you hear me? It's not your fault."
It was only when the Omatikaya looked up to look at him that Ao'nung realized how close they were. Neteyam was in his arms, his slim figure fitting perfectly against him, his yellow eyes shining so differently from the Metkayina light blue right in front of his and their noses so close they were almost touching.
Suddenly, Neteyam moved forward and Ao'nung stood still, as if petrified while the other Na'vi hid his face in his neck and hugged him back.
"Thanks."
"Don't ever tell anyone about that."
"Only to Eywa."
Ao'nung felt his ears betray the excitement and warmth he felt growing in his stomach at the idea of the other deeming him important enough to tell Eywa about him.
"Okay, but that's the only exception."
"I promise," the other murmured, slowly standing up, remaining right in front of him. "Your heart is beating so hard it feels like it's going to fly away."
AH!
"Really?"
"Yeah. Mine too, you know?"
And suddenly the Metkayina's hand found itself pressed against the soft and warm chest of another and he could see that it was true... as well as the sincerity in Neteyam's eyes. Was it possible that after all…
"What are you trying to tell me, Neteyam?"
"Just that you-"
A loud noise startled them and they immediately moved away from each other, looking for the root of the sound until they noticed much further away some probably a little too drunk party-goers pushing themselves into the water.
When he turned around, the moment had passed, the atmosphere was no longer there.
Luckily for him the other Na'vi was not so easily distracted from his goals and leaned over him, his tail as twitchy as his hands which did not seem to know what to do. Nervousness.
"Do you want to fly now?"
His lips revealed a small but eminently sincere smile.
"I don't think I've ever wanted it as much as I do now. Show me."
In mid-flight, Ao'nung did not react to being manhandled as in the end he ended up on Neteyam's lap and kissed him gently where no one could see them, lost in an ocean of blue.
When he himself would finally be an adult in the eyes of the People and Eywa, he would ask Neteyam to be his mate, but not tonight. Tonight, he would just kiss him in the air and in the water until he could no longer feel his lips, touch him until he could no longer feel his hands, and hold him until he could no longer feel his arms.
One day he would make his house a home for him too.
A home to return to and never leave.