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“We should what?! ” Atsumu whisper-yells, voice high pitched.
“Kiss.” Suna replies completely unimpressed as if he didn’t just shake Atsumu’s entire world.
“We should kiss?”
“Yes.”
“Yes.” He repeats dumbly.
A silence settles between the two of them during which they just stare at one another.
This is absolutely not how Atsumu had envisioned his afternoon. Suna was supposed to come to his home and they would study together — they would probably end up playing video games, and Atsumu would end up rage-quitting because Suna is just too good. That’s how it always goes.
In conclusion: this was supposed to be a very normal afternoon with one’s best friend. An afternoon that does not involve kissing the said best friend. No matter how hot he may be.
Okay. So maybe, maybe , Atsumu has a crush on his best friend. Maybe more than a crush. That does not mean he ever planned on acting on it though. He never even dared to dream about it. He’s just a fifteen year-old boy. He has no clue what kissing even feels like.
He’s not saying the thought isn’t appealing though. Suna being his first kiss would be an absolute blast and he would never regret it. But they’re not together. He’s pretty sure Suna doesn’t like him the way Atsumu does, so he doesn’t really understand what brought this up.
Trying to gather his thoughts and pretending his cheeks aren’t on fire, Atsumu finally breaks that awkward silence between them. “Why?” He asks, and he’s surprised to hear that he whispered the question.
“Um…” He sees Suna turning his head to the side, seemingly avoiding eye-contact, and how his cheeks seem to gain some color. Atsumu is pretty sure his mind is tricking him though, because there’s no way Suna would be blushing right now. “Just practice,” the raven mumbles.
Atsumu is taken aback by that. Huh? What is Suna even on about? “Practice?” He asks incredulously.
Suna just hums in response, still purposely avoiding to meet Atsumu’s gaze. “What do ya mean practice, Sunarin?”
The dark haired man has the audacity to sigh. “You know. Practice kissing. Like…” He pauses and finally looks up to Atsumu. The blonde is shocked to see that for the first time, he has no idea how to decipher Suna’s facial expression. The raven seems to be thinking about his next words, seemingly judging whether or not he should say what he wants to say. After what feels like an eternal mental fight, Atsumu sees how the other’s shoulders seem to fall in a dramatic way. “For our next partners?” He replies, more as a question than an affirmation.
Atsumu looks at him with what he hopes is a look of confusion, and not the actual disappointment that he’s feeling.
Whatever Suna interprets it as, he doesn’t get it because he adds up to his previous statement. “That way we won’t be inexperienced for them, you know.”
“Um…” Atsumu starts, but he doesn’t know what to say.
He wants to kiss Suna —God knows he wants to— but he doesn’t want it to happen like that; not as practice for someone else . He doesn’t want his first kiss to be some sort of experiment for Suna to get better at kissing someone else. He wants Suna to kiss him because he wants to kiss him. Otherwise it simply isn’t worth it.
And he wants to tell Suna exactly that, but that would mean confessing, and he’s not sure he wants to do that. He’s too afraid to lose his best friend. That’s precisely why he never intended to confess his feelings in the first place. He thought he could simply just put them aside and pretend they weren't there.
It has never been a problem to him since now. He and Suna have always been close as friends so nothing has ever been suspicious. He doesn’t want to lose that. Why did Suna have to bring up that stupid kiss topic?!
As he’s lost in thoughts and confused about the current situation, he doesn’t realize that he lets out a groan of frustration. He only realizes it when he raises his head to look at Suna who starts panicking, seemingly taking Atsumu’s silence and frustrated groan as disgust at the prospect of kissing him.
“I was joking, haha! Sorry!” Suna almost yells, his cheeks are redder than Atsumu remembers. “You don’t have to look so serious, Tsumu. Of course we shouldn’t kiss. It would be totally weird, haha.” He tries to joke but Atsumu can clearly see that his facial expression doesn’t match his words.
Suna looks sad and Atsumu can’t really pinpoint the reason, but he doesn’t like the sight at all. “Rin, are ya okay?” He asks, concern evident in his tone.
“Of course!” He tries to give his best grin but Atsumu sees through it and frowns.
“What’s wrong?”
Suna nips at his bottom lip for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not he should reply honestly. He knows better than to try to lie to Atsumu though. “You don’t want to kiss me and that’s fine, Atsumu. Let’s just go back to the game.”
Now Atsumu is utterly confused. What? Suna just said it was a joke? Plus he said it was for practice? What is he talking about?
“I never said I don’t wanna kiss you.”
He realizes too late what he just said. His eyes widen at the realization and he immediately feels his cheeks heating up as he puts his hand on his mouth.
“You–” Suna’s face rivals his own; red cheeks and widened green eyes meeting widened honey ones. “You… want to kiss me?” He whispers, almost unbelievably.
“Yeah,” Atsumu breathes out, his cheeks on fire. “But for real. Not for practice.”
He’s never felt so bold in his life. He can feel his whole body shaking as he waits and waits for Suna’s reply to his admission. The reply that will either end their friendship, or maybe start something more. He’s pretty sure he’s never felt so scared, he doesn’t know how many times he’s rubbed his hands on his pants in an attempt to ease the sweating.
“You– You wanna kiss me for real?” Suna sounds completely dumbfounded and Atsumu really shouldn’t find it endearing.
He can’t help the chuckle that leaves his mouth. “Yeah, yeah I do.” He shakes his head lightly as he replies fondly, the ghost of a smile on his face.
He figures that it must be a good sign for him if Suna hasn’t already rejected him. Maybe he has a chance.
“I– Um… I’ve never kissed anyone before.” Suna admits sheepishly, his face redder than Atsumu has ever seen.
He snorts this time. “Me neither, Rin. That’s kinda the whole point.”
Suna groans in what Atsumu guesses is embarrassment and he can’t help but chuckle fondly. “So…” He pauses as he locks eyes with the dark-haired man. “Do ya wanna kiss me too?”
Suna chokes on air. “Fuck yeah I do!” He admits breathlessly.
Atsumu knows he’s grinning like a mad man but he can’t bring himself to care. He takes a step forward at the same time Suna does and they find their bodies almost pressed against one another.
It’s somewhat awkward as they’re both unsure of what to do next, or where to place their hands. Their cheeks are equally flushed and they both chuckle when looking at each other.
It’s the first time Atsumu sees Rintarou from that close and even after all this time knowing him, he still can’t believe how beautiful the other man is.
Atsumu starts to raise his hands, placing one on one of Suna’s cheeks and pausing while silently asking Suna if it is okay. The other man nods so Atsumu cups his cheek as he places his other hand on suna’s nape.
Suna moves his hands as well and comes to rest them on Atsumu’s hips. He also looks Atsumu in the eyes to ask for consent and when Atsumu nods, Suna brings his body somewhat even closer than before.
Then they both smile fondly at one another before they decide to lean in, their lips meeting in the middle.
Their noses collide during their first kiss but they quickly find the trick as they both instinctively incline their head slightly on the side so that their lips could fit better.
And they do.
The next kiss is way better. Atsumu sighs happily as he takes in the softness of Suna’s lips. He smiles as he realizes how their lips fit perfectly, as if they were made to kiss each other.
The kiss is pure, not perfect by any means, but it is honest. Full of devotion and adoration.
They don’t have any experience in kissing but they both put their whole heart and soul into it, showing the other that they mean it. And that somehow makes it a perfect first kiss.
They’re both smiling widely when they part. They don’t talk, just lock eyes with one another as a silent promise of more kisses to come is made.
In the end, Rintarou has been Atsumu’s first kiss, last kiss, and every other one in between.