Work Text:
Just kiss already
The first to point out the situation, or rather question it, was Stan. From there, things just followed their course, forming an avalanche that caught everyone off guard. Or, well, the two affected by it.
"Are you two dating or what?" was the question, asked by the boy, that started it all.
Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and Stan shared an apartment near the university they attended. The idea had came, surprisingly, from Eric, whom they initially thought wouldn't want anything to do with them after high school. Or, rather, that he wouldn't even want to continue his studies.
At the time, the brunette's reasoning had been that at least during their first year of college it would be fun if they could spend their free time with familiar faces, quickly seconded by Kenny who simply wanted to leave his home at all costs.
Stan, again, to everyone's surprise, was the hardest to convince, because he had made up his mind that he would share an apartment with Wendy. His dreams and hopes of this were crushed by the girl herself when she informed him that not only was she going to a completely different university, but she would also be staying in the dorms there. That, plus Kyle's insistence, who couldn't find any flaws in Eric's plan, motivated him to accept the idea.
At first, it was a challenge. No matter how much time they had spent together as children, it didn't compare at all to sharing the same space with their diverse habits; it took time to get used to, but they found a balance, grateful they had secured a place to live before their first semester began. What they didn't anticipate, of course, was the disparity in schedules due to the variety of their majors, reducing the time they spent together to weekends, sometimes, or the odd day when their schedules aligned for a meal together.
"Are you two dating or what?" Stan asked one day, suddenly, catching Kyle and Eric off guard as they were, until that moment, engrossed in the small kitchen discussing things he couldn't understand.
"What are you talking about, hippie?" Eric questioned, looking at him with disdain.
"Yeah, Stan, what the hell?" Kyle added, moving his computer aside a bit so he could turn and look at him with the intensity of his displeasure.
Stan raised his hands in surrender at their defensive responses. They couldn't blame him, okay? The two of them were coincidentally studying the same thing, though Kyle was studying something else at the same time, and as a result, they spent more time together than with the others because they shared almost all their classes. What brought the question to mind wasn't exactly the time they spent in and out of the classrooms, but rather the time they spent in and out of the apartment.
The dinner they had bought on the way back to the apartment after their last class, just for themselves without even asking if he or Kenny would be home, and which they were sharing at that moment while discussing what he could only assume was one of their assignments, seemed to look at him with the same exasperation he could feel forming on his face. In an act of pettiness, he decided to point out the half-eaten dinner and then the dim lights under which they were working despite Kyle constantly complaining it wasn't good for studying and Eric protesting about being forced to wear his glasses.
"Don't be ridiculous," Eric rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his computer. "Me and the Jew, can you imagine, Khal?"
"I'd be offended, but unfortunately I agree with you," the redhead nodded, also returning to his work.
And, as if to mock Stan, they blatantly took a spoonful of their respective dishes and offered it to each other.
The interaction with Stan and his strange question quickly faded from the boys' minds, too busy with assignments and presentations. But, of course, Stan didn't seem to be the only one confused by their closeness.
Kyle had an exam for his second degree in a few days and, being the study-obsessed person he was, he had been incredibly stressed the last few days, so Eric, claiming he couldn't stand another second of the redhead's mutterings, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the apartment, ignoring his protests that he needed to keep studying. Protests that died instantly when he realized Eric was simply leading him to the park near the apartment, stopping at an ice cream stand.
"I'll pay this time," he said, indicating for him to order whatever he wanted. "Those are the sugar-free options," he added, pointing to the section of the menu he was talking about.
The consideration took him by surprise and was enough to keep him quiet for a few minutes while he ordered the ice cream flavor that caught his attention the most.
Once they had their ice creams, he led him to a nearby bench, under a tree, and urged him to eat in silence. Kyle thought about protesting again, the guilt of not studying at that very moment creeping into the back of his mind, but after quickly looking around, he noticed the day was too beautiful to waste it cooped up in the apartment. Resigned, he forced himself to relax next to Eric and eat his ice cream in silence, enjoying the gentle breeze playing with his hair and the sound of some children playing nearby.
"Do you want some?" Eric unexpectedly offered him his ice cream. He looked at the dessert and shrugged, taking a bite with his spoon and offering him some of his in return.
"Eric? Kyle?" called a female voice, and both turned to see Heidi approaching them quickly, smiling. "How are you guys?"
"Hi, Heidi," Kyle smiled, tensing slightly as he glanced at Eric, who muttered something under his breath before taking a large bite of his ice cream to avoid talking to the girl.
He frowned slightly and elbowed him for the rude gesture, looking back at the girl. Grumbling, Eric gave him a reproachful look before waving his free hand in greeting.
"All good, how about you? I thought you were at..." he snapped his fingers, trying to remember which university she was supposed to go to, the same one Wendy was attending. "Eh, sharing a dorm with Wendy?" he offered when nothing came to mind.
"I have the day off and decided to accompany Wendy, who came to see Stan, and take a walk around the city," the girl smiled shyly, never looking at Eric more than necessary. "Well, it was nice seeing you again. I won't interrupt your date any longer."
Eric choked at her last words, but the brunette walked away too quickly for them to correct her. Kyle shook his head, as surprised as the brunette next to him, and looked at him, raising his eyebrows.
"Why would she think this…" he pointed to the bench they were sitting on, not noticing the closeness between them, "...is a date?" he questioned.
"No idea," Eric cleared his throat, rubbing his forehead, grumbling under his breath about a brain freeze. "First Stan, now Heidi, what the hell is wrong with people?"
"I wish I knew," Kyle sighed, deciding to finish his ice cream in peace and forget about the matter.
However, no matter how hard he tried, Heidi's comment didn't leave his mind all night.
The question of whether they were dating or not quickly spread outside their group of friends.
Craig, on one occasion when they met at a party to celebrate the end of the first round of midterms, had questioned when they had gotten together. Minutes later, Tolkien asked a similar question, laughing heartily as he pointed out that he had seen them leaving the cinema together a few weeks earlier. At their indignant mutterings, he defended himself by pointing out that, given how close they were while walking, it was hard not to think the same.
Butters, a few weeks later, timidly congratulated them on their relationship after running into them dining together at a small restaurant. No matter how much they protested that they were there because it was easier to discuss a presentation they had to do together, the blonde simply smiled, winking, assuring them that if they didn't want to make it very public, their secret would be safe with him.
The straw that broke the camel's back was definitely when the second round of exams was approaching. Stan had declared that he had a date with Wendy and they would go together to her dorm, blatantly ignoring that this would violate one of said dorm's rules, and announcing that they shouldn't wait up for him. Taking advantage of this, saying he would visit some friends, although they weren't clear exactly which friends he could be talking about, Kenny hitched a ride with him.
Before leaving, smiling conspiratorially, he dropped a small packet of condoms on the coffee table in front of the sofa where Kyle and Eric had sat to watch a movie together, taking advantage of having the apartment to themselves.
"Kenny?" Kyle raised an eyebrow, struggling not to blush.
"Just because you're exclusive doesn't mean you shouldn't be safe," announced the blonde proudly. "Oh, my kids grow up so fast," he added, wiping a fake tear from the corner of his eye.
"For God's sake! We're not dating!" Eric exploded, standing up, ready to lunge at his friend and hit him.
"Sure, sure. And the sun rises in the west," Kenny laughed, heading for the door. Before leaving, he winked, pulling something out of his pocket and throwing it to Eric, who caught it automatically. "Have fun, lovebirds, but not too much!"
Eric observes the object in his hands, trying to understand what the hell it is. When his brain finally makes the connection, he curses, throwing it at Kenny, hoping to hit his head, but the blond closes the door before it can reach him, and the small container he threw crashes against the door.
"I'm not sure I want to know what that was," Kyle comments after a few seconds of silence, still staring at the condoms.
"Take a guess," the brunette growls, sitting beside him and pointing at the packages on the table.
It takes Kyle an embarrassing minute to connect the dots, and when he finally does, he grabs a cushion, puts it over his face, and screams expletives that would undoubtedly give his mother a heart attack. Eric, seeing his reaction, can't help but laugh, gently kicking the table to move it away from them, causing the condoms to slide off the table and fall to the floor.
Kyle takes that laugh as an offense and removes the cushion to hit him with it.
"It's not funny," he announces, hitting him with all his strength, making him laugh even harder.
"You have… to admit… it's a little funny," the brunette murmurs, trying to stop his laughter and the cushion attacks as best he can.
Kyle stops, thinks about what just happened, and reluctantly admits that it is indeed somewhat funny.
Admitting it, of course, doesn't erase the blush on his cheeks, which only intensifies when Cartman casually puts an arm around his shoulders, turns on the TV to play the movie they will watch, and mutters Kenny's last comment under his breath.
Kyle, to his immense displeasure, was having trouble focusing on a particular topic in his second degree. No matter how much he studied and restudied, there were things he just couldn't grasp, which was starting to frustrate him. As the semester progressed, racing towards the end, the problem worsened, his nerves started to fray, and the fear of not being able to finish his assignments on time wasn't helping.
Eric found him one early morning, when he got up for a glass of water, sitting in the same position he had been in when they went to bed, frantically typing on his computer and jumping from one book to another in a desperation that, in his opinion, bordered on the ridiculous. With an irritated sigh, he looked at the clock on the microwave, grimacing when he noticed it was four in the morning. He remembered Kyle had settled at the kitchen table in the afternoon, after the four of them had lunch together, as it was one of the rare days they could enjoy the tranquility of their apartment instead of the chaos of the cafeteria; from what he could see, Kyle probably hadn't moved except to go to the bathroom or grab a snack, which lay half-finished next to his notes.
That can't be, he told himself, approaching the table.
"Up," he ordered, closing the computer with enough force to get Kyle's attention, but not so much that it might damage the screen.
"Cartman, not now, I'm studying," protested the redhead, dropping the book in his hands, with every intention of reopening the computer, but before he could even touch it, Eric raised it in the air, out of his reach, forcing him to stand up. "Cartman, please. I really need to keep..."
"No, what you need is to take a break," and to emphasize his words, the brunette placed the computer on top of the fridge. "It's four in the morning. Let's go to bed," he announced, shaking his hands before grabbing Kyle's arm to drag him to his room.
Kyle felt a sense of déjà vu, remembering the time he had similarly dragged him to get ice cream in a park.
"Wait, Cartman..."
"Nope," he repeated, elongating the last syllable to make a popping sound at the end, eliciting a giggle from Kyle. He must definitely be very, very tired to allow himself to make a sound like that. "Your brain is clearly melting; you need a break."
Kyle struggled with him a bit more, more out of habit than because he had the strength to really break free from his grip. Reluctantly, he had to admit that the brunette was right, the exhaustion was starting to take its toll on him, and it was hard not to collapse right then and there. Once they reached his room, Eric laid him down on the bed, the last of his strength escaping his hands in a vague attempt to snuggle, falling asleep immediately.
Eric watched him, suppressing a small smile and a yawn. He covered him with a blanket and, without thinking much about it, lay down beside him, hoping to get at least a couple more hours of sleep.
The event repeated a few more times, Eric finding him in the middle of the night almost merging with a chair, dragging him to his room, and the two of them falling fast asleep, side by side in the redhead's bed. Until one morning, and only because he had promised to take him to an exhibition that would help him with an assignment, Kenny found them together, this time in Eric's room.
That fact simply gave Kenny more ammunition for his comments, making them more explicit every time he found them sharing the common space.
"I feel like I'm in a soap opera," he commented one day, in one of those rare days they could have breakfast without having to rush to class. "Every time I come back, I'm afraid I'll find you two making out on the couch."
Eric growled exasperated by the comment, and Kyle shot the blond a reproachful look, but he was in such a good mood that he found some amusement in the comment and had to fight not to smile. Stan, surprisingly, despite being the first to tease them about the matter, though his comments were much more diluted than Kenny's, pointed at the blond with amusement, warning him to stop insinuating things that weren't true.
"At least what they have is stable, unlike Mr. God-knows-where-he-goes when he disappears in the middle of the night," Stan finished, wrapping up his breakfast.
"Hey, hey, I have my standards," Kenny defended himself, raising his hands in surrender. "It's not my fault those standards only show up when I'm drunk."
"God," Kyle chuckled, finishing his breakfast, enjoying that the attention seemed to have shifted, for the first time in weeks, to someone else besides him. "Couldn't you say that more seriously? Or take it as a sign?"
"Ha! Wendy said the same thing the other day," Stan commented, trying to keep a straight face, diving into friendly banter with Kenny.
Kyle turned to Eric, a joking comment on the tip of his tongue about the matter, but the words died on his lips when he noticed the expression on the brunette's face. Without saying anything, or even looking at him, Eric finished his breakfast, cutting off the conversation between the other two to remind them that just because they had the chance to have breakfast didn't mean they could afford to be late.
That reaction, for some reason, felt heavy to Kyle. Like a stone in the pit of his stomach.
After that, things started to cool between him and Eric. It was as if that seemingly light conversation had struck a nerve that no previous comment had managed to touch. That, and their time together being cut short, pushed Kyle into a small spiral of anxiety, causing him to overthink things more than necessary.
Maybe Eric was more uncomfortable with the insinuations than he had initially shown? Worried that it might make things worse, Kyle decided that the best way to keep the peace was to ask one of his professors, in one of the subjects where he and Eric were supposed to have a presentation soon, if it was possible to change partners. The pain and betrayal in Eric's eyes when he told him about the change took him by surprise and made him feel even more guilty. Somehow, he felt that all the progress they had made in their friendship over those months went down the drain because of one stupid comment.
But what if it was more than a comment? What if everyone could see something that neither he nor Cartman had noticed?
And what if Cartman wasn't uncomfortable, but had put the pieces together before he did?
Why, moreover, was everything so different now compared to 4th year when everyone believed that he and Cartman were dating, in Cartman's attempt to pair Nicole and Tolkien, which is making him so upset?
Precisely that, he realizes one night, staring at his bedroom ceiling, that the assumptions didn't actually bother him. And that this time it wasn't because of a scheme by Cartman but because of something they apparently do when they are together, whatever it may be.
He covers his face, stifling a groan when the next thought that plagues his mind is the question of whether it would really be so bad to be in a relationship with the fatass. Yes, he witnessed firsthand how bad it went for Cartman and Heidi, but years have passed since then, and his time with the young man has shown that he had matured. Besides, he's not Heidi, and he knows the brunette like the back of his hand.
He sits up abruptly, blushing from head to toe at the last thread of thought.
He knows Cartman better than anyone, better than most, and has had the opportunity to get to know him again over the past few months. Would it be so bad to give it a chance?
He could just… talk to him, ask what he thinks about the matter, gauge the situation, and if he senses that rejection is imminent, he just has to steer the conversation elsewhere. Make peace, force himself to forget the matter, and bury the feelings that are starting to surface in his chest. Or have they always been there, and now he's just noticing them?
No, he must concentrate. First, he would talk to Cartman, then he would think about what to do. He lies back on the bed, linking his hands against his chest, formulating a plan of action and urging his body to relax and try to rest as much as possible.
However, now that the idea is in his mind, his body refuses to succumb to fatigue. He shifts anxiously in bed, struggling to control the urge to have that conversation with Cartman at that very moment, and he's about to succeed when a voice, sounding suspiciously like Kenny's, reminds him that the brunette is mad at him for the change of partner and making amends for that would be a good excuse to bring up the topic.
He sighs, sitting up again, already regretting the hours of sleep he knows he will lose over this, and gets up to leave the room, steeling himself. If Cartman is awake, he tells himself, they will have the conversation. If not... well, the mini Kenny in his brain can't say he didn't try.
He opens the door and steps back in surprise to find Eric on the other side, hand raised to knock and surprise on his face. To his credit, the brunette recovers much faster, clearing his throat softly.
"Khal," he greets quietly, looking both ways down the hall to make sure he hasn't woken the other two, "What a coincidence finding you here."
"It's the threshold of my room, Cartman," he says, making a slight grimace when his voice sounds harsher than he intends. He shakes his head, taking a deep breath, and starts again. "Do you want to come in?"
Eric steps forward, his face lighting up as if he's being offered an obscene amount of money, or told Christmas was coming early, but soon he steps back, his expression faltering slightly. He looks away a bit, covering part of his face trying to hide the blush starting to color his cheeks, but Kyle sees it and his own cheeks flush in response.
"Actually... would you like to take a walk? I'd like to... talk to you and not wake the other two idiots," he says softly, looking at him with some nervousness and barely controlling himself from rocking on his feet.
"Cartman, it's...," Kyle turns to see the clock on his nightstand, "two in the morning, are you sure you don't want to talk here?"
It's not that the surroundings are particularly dangerous, being a university area and all, but after spending his whole life in South Park, it's hard to shake certain habits.
Cartman nervously glances from the inside of his room to the hallway several times, until Kyle feels dizzy from it and sighs irritably.
"Okay, how about we go up to the roof? Middle ground," he offers, moving to grab his coat. It might not be a very cold place, but he doesn't plan on catching a cold by sitting on the roof at two in the morning in nothing but his pajamas.
"Acceptable," Eric nods, giving him a small smile before hurrying to his room to get his coat.
Kyle shakes his head, heading to the door to grab his keys, just in case, waiting for the brunette. When he finally returns, they leave quietly, close the door behind them, and head to the stairs that connect to the roof. Once there, they curse under their breath at finding the door locked, but Cartman assures him he can handle it, winking before kneeling at the level of the doorknob and producing a couple of bobby pins from God knows where, which he proceeds to use to skillfully pick the lock.
Sometimes he forgets the range of skills the young man acquired in his childhood, deciding to look the other way in case they get caught so he can claim he has no idea what's happening. After a few minutes, Cartman makes a small sound of victory, stands up, and opens the door, making an exaggerated bow and indicating he should go first.
Kyle rolls his eyes, flipping him the middle finger as he crosses the threshold, suppressing a smile at the stifled laugh he receives in response. Strangely, he feels calm, the nerves he had been accumulating since his revelation slightly dissipating with the cool early morning air. He walks to one of the edges, examines how thick it is, and finding it satisfactory, leans on it to climb up and sit. Cartman, for his part, simply leans against the wall beside him, crossing his arms and looking up at the sky.
The redhead watches him for a moment before also looking up, whistling softly at the starry display that greets him. The advantage of being in a not-so-large city, he supposes.
They remain like that for a few minutes, enveloped in the silence of the night, occasionally interrupted by some nocturnal animals, the breeze playing with their hair, and the tranquility of being away from curious eyes.
"I was wondering," Cartman says suddenly, attracting Kyle's attention, who lowers his head to look at him, "if maybe... Kenny is right."
"That we should fornicate like rabbits?" he asks, half-serious, half-joking, smiling when the brunette snorts in amusement because, out of all the comments the blond has made in recent weeks, that's precisely the first that comes to mind.
"No, stupid Jew," he responds, softly nudging his knees with his elbow, making his legs swing and eliciting a small laugh, "I was wondering if maybe the idiot was right in saying... in saying that you and I would make a good couple."
Oh, that's new. Kyle blinks, trying to remember when, out of all the times the blond has insinuated something, he has commented on it. Not finding anything, he assumes the next logical thing; Cartman is referencing a private conversation he had with Kenny, as if he expects Kyle to be up to date. Luckily for him, he vaguely remembers Stan mentioning something similar recently.
"I was wondering if... maybe we're doing something that's giving them that impression," he responds, omitting the part of his thoughts where he believes it's an incorrect image.
Funny thing, hope, isn't it?
"I'll tell you what I think of this whole debacle if you do the same," Eric proposes, turning to face him, leaning an arm on the edge of the wall and helping him balance with his other arm when Kyle also turns.
"That seems fair," he nods, the nerves suddenly returning to him.
He doesn't voice his thoughts immediately, organizing them once more in his head to ensure they come out as vague as possible. That way, if Cartman's differ from his, it won't hurt as much.
"I think that... maybe we've been having dates without realizing it," he says slowly, looking away at the last moment, closing his eyes. Coward, he thinks, clearing his throat, "And that... just maybe, it wouldn't be so bad to have them on purpose this time."
Cartman doesn't respond immediately, and the silence that follows his words frays Kyle's nerves more, making him grip his pajama pants tightly and daring to look at him. If what he finds on his face is disgust, he can accept it, he tells himself, forcing his eyes open; if what he finds on his face is rejection, he can accept it, he repeats, raising his gaze.
What he finds on the brunette's face is anything but disgust or rejection. In fact, it's so intense he has to look away for a completely different reason, lest he spontaneously combust at that very moment. The blush spreading across his face, sliding down his neck and probably the rest of his body, doesn't help at all.
"I think," Eric finally says, bringing a hand to Kyle's face, gently coaxing him to look at him again. He struggles not to laugh at the adorable expression on the stupid Jew, with his nose wrinkled and eyes tightly shut, the blush lighting up his cheeks and highlighting his freckles like the cherry on top, "that we're much more stupid and slow than we imagined."
That makes Kyle open his eyes, looking at him surprised and offended. He's sure the redhead will say something in protest, that he will insult or hit his head, but he doesn't give him time to react, leaning towards him, pulling him at the same time, and pressing their lips together. Kyle freezes, processing what's happening, before seconds later wrapping his arms around his neck and responding to the kiss with the same intensity.
The kiss is somewhat clumsy, both too eager to make up for lost time they didn't know they had been wasting, and it ends sooner than they would have liked, but they look at each other with a certain satisfaction shining in their eyes. They smile softly, laughing quietly at the ridiculousness of the situation, pressing their foreheads together and sighing gently.
"Kenny will get worse, won't he?" Kyle murmurs, tangling his fingers in the other's hair, releasing and then gently holding it again.
"Probably," Eric sighs, wrapping his arms around his waist to hug him as much as he can. They stay like that for a few more minutes before Eric pulls away, just enough to look at Kyle's entire face, giving him a mischievous smile. "How long do you think we can pretend we're still in the land of ignorance before driving Stan crazy?"
"I think we can get through the entire first year before he notices anything," Kyle comments, barely containing his laughter at the idea of teasing poor Stan. The smile on his lips becomes even more mischievous than the brunette's, though he blinks with feigned innocence, "But that means you can't accept coming back to my room with me, you know that, right?"
Eric is paralyzed by the response. A literal taste of his own medicine.
God, how had he not noticed before how much he adored that nerd?
"Forget what I just said. Let's go back inside before your weak ass catches a cold," he says, quickly stepping away to help him down from the edge of the wall, immediately wrapping his arm around his waist to guide him back into the building.
Kyle shakes his head at his excitement, not having the heart to clarify that they will do nothing but sleep. He has to submit a project the next day, a presentation, and another bunch of work he doesn't want to think about.
Although, well, Cartman could definitely convince him to lose another hour of sleep if he kisses him like that again. He's not going to mention that for now, of course.
The next day, somehow, they manage to sneak out of their room without Stan noticing they left through the same door, deciding to keep acting as they normally would. Not getting caught, they could easily drive Stan crazy a bit before giving him the good news.
Eric smiles mischievously, setting his plan in motion immediately with something very simple. Once they have breakfast ready, he takes a spoonful from his plate, bringing it to Kyle's lips, and Kyle, controlling his laughter as best as he can, accepts it. From the corner of his eye, he sees Stan watching them in disbelief, and after a few long seconds, Stan lets out an exasperated shout, slamming his hands on the table before storming out of the kitchen.
Kyle and Eric look at each other, waiting to hear Stan's door, before bursting into laughter until they're out of breath.
The potential, they think simultaneously, of everything they could have been doing these past few months.
When they finish laughing at poor Stan's expense, they will definitely have to thank him later for the stupid question he asked out of nowhere.