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Chapter Text

Lloyd stares at the deep red sword, called the 'Dragon icon', remembering his earlier conversation with the source dragon of motion. She had thanked him for finding out who killed the matriarch, and then gifted him the sword. "It can summon me but only once, so use it wisely," she had warned.

The dragon had insisted that the mission went well. Yeah, they found out who killed the matriarch, and Sora had won the tournament of the sources-, and Lloyd is so proud of her for that. But he still feels like he failed. The Forbidden Five got away, and most of all, his own student, Arin, willingly left the team. He had missed all of the warning signs leading up to it too. He had been too busy, too focused on other things, to think that whatever was going on between Arin and Sora was a priority.

Lloyd just hadn't thought it would end in Arin leaving. He didn't expect it.

Guilt twists in his stomach.

He was a terrible teacher and a terrible leader. Everyone around him had too much faith in him when, in reality, he would only let them down. He knew he shouldn't have led the team in the tournament.

"Arin! How did you learn perfect spinjitsu?"

"Not from you."

The words still stung.

For most of the tournament, he had been so stressed about leading the team. It turns out a lot of things went wrong, things he didn't know were possible, and the reality of it was only beginning to sink in now. Jay lost his memories and shattered his goodness. Master Wu caused the merge, and he's... a ghost? None of it makes sense.

Lloyd needs advice. He wishes that he could talk to Master Wu.

And actually, he might be able to.

He walks back to the portal the team went through when they got back to the monastery. Back to where he saw the ghost of Master Wu.

It's cold and dark on the other side of the portal, with a slight smell of rain in the air.

"Hello?" Lloyd's voice wavers, echoing off the empty monastery walls. Anxiety spikes through his stomach for no good reason; it's something that's been happening a lot recently.

"Uncle Wu?" he tries again.

Nothing.

Lloyd wrings his hands around each other, twisting his fingers around. He feels disappointed, but he's not surprised that there's nothing here since he did see his uncle disappear all ghost-like.

He chews his lower lip as the thought reoccurs. Master Wu is a ghost. Like, an actual ghost? Is he... dead?

He spots something glowing from the corner of his eye, snapping him out of his thoughts. He snaps his head around to see Master Wu.

"Oh thank goodness!" Lloyd exclaims. He looks down at the floor before the rest of his feelings spill out on their own.

"I... need your help, uncle. I can't be a master. Everything's falling apart under my lead, and I've been trying my best but it isn't enough. The Forbidden Five are still out there, Jay shattered his goodness, and Arin got lost somewhere in the merged lands. All he wants is to find his parents, and I failed him."

It's true. He had even promised Arin he'd find his parents, and promised Nya that they would get Jay back. He still had yet to at least fulfill one of his promises before they became empty.

Master Wu's ghostly form wobbles and distorts from where he floats in the air.

"Am I a bad leader? Are you... disappointed in me?" Lloyd croaks, pained and quiet. He wants to hear otherwise, anything to alleviate the doubts in his mind. He feels a lump growing in his throat and he knows he needs to stop talking before he falls apart. He looks up from the floor to the ghost of Master Wu, who still hasn't said anything. Lloyd feels devastated at the silence. Was his uncle even listening?

"Uncle?"

Silence, and without a word, the ghost of Master Wu began fading away to nothingness.

"No no no, please don't go!" Lloyd exclaims, running forward as if it was going to stop anything.

He sighs as the final traces of Master Wu disappear.

Did Uncle Wu seriously just abandon him?

Lloyd takes a slow breath in and tries to relax. He sinks his teeth down into his bottom lip. So, trying to talk didn't work, and it didn't look like Master Wu would come back.

He's just going to have to work harder at being a good leader for the team. If his best isn't enough, he'll have to push himself even harder and go above and beyond. Even if that still wasn't good enough...

He walks through the portal, back to the monastery where the others were, passing by Uncle Wu's ancestor shrine in the courtyard.

Lloyd feels a strange headache forming; it feels like someone hit him over the head, and he doubles over, pressing his hands to his temples. But it's happened enough times for him to know it's not a headache. He hates how his first instinct is still to push his visions away, they're important and show him possible futures.

In the last moments before the vision comes, he's scared.

The sky appears the same blood red that he's grown used to seeing.

Sora looks frightened as a barrage of boulders twice her size careens down, crushing her where she stands,

Nothing. Then Arin approaches from behind. He attacks by whirling into a spinjitsu tornado, and it turns into shatterspin,

Ras lays unmoving while Arin stands over him. A blade clatters to the ground,

Master Wu sighing,

The Forbidden Five are training,

Lloyd's eyes shoot open with a sharp gasp. His heart pounds so hard in his chest that he can hear the pounding inside his ears.

He doesn't know what to make of what he just saw. Did Arin just kill Ras? No, Arin wouldn't do that. Besides, that's his... master. Lloyd is interpreting the vision wrong, it must have a different, less obvious meaning.

"Are you okay?" asks a voice. It's Nya. Her face is scrunched in big-sister-ly concern. "Another vision?"

He nods, squeezing his hands together and pressing them to his legs to hide the way he's shaking.

"Yeah."

"What did you see? Was it anything about Jay?" Nya asks, understandably wanting to know more about her amnesiac boyfriend.

Now that Lloyd's paying more attention, he notices that Nya looks uncharacteristically exhausted.

Lloyd shakes his head. "No, I didn't see Jay. But I did see Arin."

"That's good!"  Nya exclaims "Do you know where he is?"

Good? Good? Nothing that Arin was currently up to was good! And of course his visions would show him everything except where Arin is. Also, he's seen Sora get crushed by falling rocks a few too many times now. Nothing's good.

"No!" Lloyd snaps. He doesn't mean to, really, but he's so worried about Arin and frustrated with himself. He falters, knowing that even though he's upset, he shouldn't take it out on Nya.

"Sorry," Lloyd sighs, looking away again, ashamed. "I meant to say that I don't know where Arin is."

Nya doesn't seem bothered. "Apology accepted. And don't worry, Arin's gonna be okay. He's a smart kid, he'll make good choices."

Arin's extremely smart, of course, but that doesn't necessarily mean he'll make good choices. Lloyd takes the comforting words anyway.

"We found Jay, by the way," Nya adds, sitting on the ground next to Lloyd. The way she says it seems to imply that it didn't go well.

"You and Kai found him?" Lloyd asks.

"Yeah."

The next moments are filled with silence. But the look on her face says it all. They didn't get Jay back.

He reaches over to hug Nya, and she tightly wraps her arms around him first.

"Oh Lloyd," Nya sniffs wetly, "Jay's actually like, evil."

Lloyd's heart sinks. If only he had found Jay sooner, before Ras did.

"I'm really sorry."

Nya shakes her head "Don't be, I have this plan," she begins, a look of desperation in her eyes. "I didn't talk to Kai about this yet, but there's this djinn that Sora and I met, Arrakore, and I'm going to find him and wish for Jay's memories to come back."

Huh? If that was going to work, there's still a higher priority.

"What if you wish for his goodness to get un-shattered first?" Lloyd wonders out loud. "—Only if there's no price to pay for these wishes, of course."

Nya pulls back, eyes frantic and teary as her voice trembles. "You're right, he shattered his goodness. We won't need to find a way to fix it if we can wish it back!"

"Yeah, but wait. Nya, you can just wish for something and have it? I don't know, it doesn't sound right," he shrugs. "For free? There aren't, like, any consequences?"

"There aren't!" Nya insists, eyes narrowing. "I wished to find one of the dragon cores before and it worked just fine." She pauses to think for a second. "At the time, the djinn could only grant small wishes like that, but he said his strength would grow over time."

"Your plan sounds good, we just need to think ahead, and maybe do some research. Like, is it even possible to wish someone's memories back? And could it go wrong?" Lloyd wonders, not completely convinced. "So... if that doesn't work, do you have a plan B?"

Wrong thing to say.

"A plan B?" Nya deadpans. It's obvious she's been stressed about this for a while now, her demeanor cracking. She puts on a forced smile. "I'm sure this will work, there's no need for backup!"

It seems like since the tournament, Nya's only been more emotionally tormented by Jay's absence, and Lloyd knows he hasn't done much to help her feel better. He isn't exactly sure what to do either, and that fills him with a heavy kind of guilt that makes him feel sick. He wishes Master Wu was here to offer some wisdom.

Lloyd nods. What would Wu say?

"We can't be reckless. Listen to me, Jay's my friend too, and as much as I'd like him back, it's better—" he says, hoping he sounds reasonable, but gets cut off abruptly.

"No, you need to listen to me!" Nya says, voice low and serious. She grabs Lloyd by the collar of his gi, yanking him face to face with her. "Jay's more than just a friend to me. You wouldn't understand. You don't think I've also been thinking ahead? That's all I think about."

She's not thinking clearly, and Lloyd can sympathize. But he does wish that he kept his mouth shut.

Nya wouldn't hurt him though, at least not seriously, so he doesn't fight back.

"I've been thinking and planning and trying to get Jay back for years, and there's nothing I wouldn't risk," Nya shouts, "I'd die for him, and if he remembered me, he'd die for me too."

Lloyd nods, terrified and pained. He doesn't resist, arms loose at his sides. "I know," he says quietly.

"So you're aware, and you still don't know how much he means to me?" Nya exclaims angrily, shaking Lloyd around with enough force to give a small child shaken baby syndrome. Luckily, he's a young adult.

Nya couldn't find the love of her life for years, and when she finally saw Jay at the tournament, he didn't remember her, used shatterspin which shattered his goodness, and then told her that he hated her. It's a lot to deal with, and Lloyd gets it, so he lets her do whatever she needs. He caused her all this pain anyway. He promised that he'd find Jay, and failed. It's all his fault.

"Or..." Nya grits her teeth, gears turning in her brain.

She breathes out and breathes in harshly, looking Lloyd straight in the eyes. He feels cold. He doesn't trust himself to speak anymore, and he's scared to hear what Nya's about to say next.

"Do you know how much he means to me, but you. Don't. Care?"

Lloyd stares back in blank shock. There's no way that Nya could think that he doesn't care. He doesn't blame her though; it probably looks like he doesn't care with the way he's been sidetracked recently.

He watches the ground unseeingly. He wants to say so many things, that he does care, that he wishes Jay was here, that he misses Jay too, but the words die in his throat. All he does is fail everyone around him. And he had been so focused at the tournament on doing what the source dragon wanted of him that everything else slipped between his fingers. Consciously or not.

However, it's not like he could've done anything about Jay at the tournament. But he can't help but wonder what would've happened if they had found Jay earlier. It's possible too, Lloyd was literally at the administration at the time that Jay likely was, and should've found him there. Then he'd have the whole team back, and maybe Nya wouldn't be mad at him.

But he still hadn't achieved much other than finding out who killed the matriarch. Everything else? A big fat fail.

He shouldn't have listened to Egalt and Rontu, the two dragon masters, when they said he should be a master.

Should he have gone after Jay in the tournament? What if that would've actually been a better option? Lloyd's not sure how that would've helped the source dragon though. But he doesn't know what to think anymore.

If Jay were to get his memories back, would he be mad about not being found sooner?

He misses Jay. He wants to geek out about all things starfarer for hours with him, the way they used to.

He wants to play video games with Jay. It doesn't matter what game, Jay could choose one.

Didn't Nya go with Kai when they found Jay? Lloyd hadn't heard from Kai yet. If Nya was mad at him, would Kai be mad too?

Oh gosh, Nya's already mad at him. He couldn't stand the idea of both siblings being mad at him.

She's not holding him up by the shirt anymore, she's talking to him, but it sounds like she's speaking underwater. Muffled and unintelligible.Lloyd's chest was strangling his lungs, the air was so thin that he could barely breathe. He has to leave, to anywhere but here. If he stays longer he might pass out.

He had something that he wanted to say, right? He thinks hard, as hard as he can. The more he tries to think of something to say, the more his mind goes blank.

"Gotta go," Lloyd says raggedly, and he doesn't know if Nya heard him or not, but he somehow manages to walk away. He makes it into the monastery, and it's only then that he can breathe more easily.

It's almost muscle memory at this point, but Lloyd ends up in the TV room and sits down on the couch next to Kai and Cole, who are busy with a game.

Lloyd grabs one of the pillows on the couch and hugs it to his chest while he watches Kai's player on the screen die and respawn repeatedly. It's oddly comforting.

"Hey I'm about to beat this round, wanna join us after?" Kai offers, not looking away from the screen for a second.

"No," Lloyd replies dryly. "I'll watch you get beat though."

Kai chucks another pillow at him and misses because his eyes are on the screen. It soars across the room instead.

"C'mon boogers, it'll be fun," Cole says, casually reaching for an extra controller.

Lloyd does a double-take at the nickname. "What did Kai tell you?" he exclaims, feeling his face go hot.

"That he came up with a new nickname for you," Cole explains innocently. "Master of green boogers!"

Meanwhile, Kai laughs loudly as if he's not at risk of getting tackled.

Cole looks back and forth between the two. "...There's some kind of story behind this, isn't there?"

Okay, Cole doesn't know about the library incident. Good.

Lloyd is about to say no, but before he can get the word out, he feels the strange headache from earlier coming back.

Another vision.

He feels like pushing it away again, he doesn't want to see more terrifying things, but Rontu told him that the best thing to do is allow the visions to come. He has no choice. He gasps in pain and presses his face into the pillow as flashes of different scenarios fill his head.

The never-tree petals blow in the wind.

A symbol glows overhead and it's the symbol for the missing source dragon.

Arin stands over a figure on the ground, stabbing them repeatedly with a knife.

A glimpse of Arin, walking around in the never realm. The reversal time blade could be seen peeking out of a bag dangling off of his shoulder

Ras lay in a puddle of his own blood, looking very dead.

Then it stopped and Lloyd returned to reality, where someone was squeezing his shoulder to get his attention.

He pulls his face away from the pillow and breathes in the colder, less stuffy air. Every time he thinks his visions can't get any creepier, they always do, like he's jinxing it.

"Hey, are you hurt?" Cole asks, sounding panicked and confused.

Kai looks less confused and more concerned.

"You saw a vision?"

A nod.

"I think Arin is going to kill someone," Lloyd says.

Chapter Text

Arin manages to keep training while surviving in the wild and taking care of Ras, who's now doing well enough to sit up on his own, but not enough to train yet. Arin can't help but feel impatient. He wants to learn everything Lloyd couldn't teach him.

He hates to accept it, but Ras had a point back in the wildness.

"You could be something special. Too bad the ninjas hold you back"

"No, they don't! They're making me better!"

"Then how come you aren't any better? I stopped you as easily now as the first time we met."

The words still burn in the back of his mind. Arin wants to do better and be stronger, so the next time his parents see him, they'll be proud. So, while Ras can't train him yet, that doesn't mean he can't practice on his own at the moment.

Arin throws anything he finds throwable. Rocks, sticks, rotten fruit on the ground (only once. Arin found it too gross to touch after it flew everywhere). While Ras is sleeping, Arin even takes a knife from his pockets. He uses anything that he can try to give spinjitsu to. If there's one thing he can do that the ninjas can't, it's object spinjitsu. But even then, he can barely do it.

It's been a few days since he jumped through the portal to go after Ras, and Arin has only become more frustrated with training himself. So far, he hasn't done object spinjitsu once.

There was something off about the color of Arin's regular spinjitsu though. Instead of one solid color, it's mostly orange with bits of red. It could just be that he's not seeing clearly, but he doesn't know what to make of it.

Arin scoops a palm-sized rock off the ground, whirls into a spinjitsu tornado, and throws it at a nearby tree, chipping a layer of bark off. Not once did the rock do anything other than soar through the air normally.

His chest heaves with exhaustion and he wipes the sweat off of his forehead with his sleeve. He picks up another rock and chucks it into the same tree with a frustrated scream. It hits the same part of the tree, making the scrape deeper.

Once again, he did not give the rock spinjitsu.

"What are you doing?"

Arin looks up to see Ras standing in the forest with him.

"Training"

"Training? You have a lot to learn and much progress to force."

"I'd like that, your teachings helped me learn perfect spinjitsu," Arin says. "But to be honest, I really just want to find my parents."

A pause.

"Arin, it's not fully spinjitsu," an impressed Ras explains. "I can't quite explain how this is even possible, but you've filled in the rest of the gap with shatterspin. You've managed to teach yourself some basics of shatterspin"

Arin grits his teeth and his cheeks flush with anger, not liking what he hears.

"So I'm shattering some of my goodness every time I do spinjitsu?!" he exclaims, fearful and angry.

Ras growls. "That's some nonsense the ninja would say. I am your master now. I've told you this before, nothing's black and white. There's darkness in the light and light in the darkness."

Arin shakes his head. "You better give me a clear answer."

All Ras does is laugh. "I think you can figure it out."

Arin seethes, clenching and unclenching his fists. But he can't show his anger toward Ras, he needs to focus on the goal at hand.

"Do you ever plan on telling me where my parents are?" Arin asks after a few minutes of silence. It's almost the entire reason why he's here with Ras at all.

"I do," Ras replies. "But first you must help me"

"With what?"

"I have a meeting with my master. I'd like you to meet him"

"No. I stayed with you, helped you get better, and found food for you," Arin says angrily. "You will help me first Ras, or I'm leaving."

"Patience, just this one time. I will show you to your parents after, you have my word."

Arin mutters a curse under his breath, quietly so that Ras won't hear, then puts on a fake smile. "Sure, why the heck not."

A pause.

"One more thing Arin," Ras adds. "I'd like my knife back."

Arin sighs. "No."

Eventually, after Arin followed Ras for a while, they made it to a grassy plain, where the temple of the Forbidden Five stood.

"The shadow dojo?" Arin exclaims in surprise, questioning why he's here. Maybe this is where Ras' supposed master wanted to meet. "Why's it empty?"

Ras doesn't give him an answer.

"Master, I have returned," Ras calls out into the open grass.

Resisting the urge to facepalm, Arin almost begins to rethink his life's choices. And then it happens, Ras' master appears in a bright flash of light.

Once Arin can safely open his eyes again without going blind, he gasps.

Ras' master is a dragon. Arin had never seen one like this before, its scales are unusually gray and gold across its majestic body, with shimmering gold wings that sparkle under the light of the moon.

"You bring a student with you," the dragon smiles. "Wonderful."

Pfft. Arin resists the urge to scoff. He doesn't know if he wants to be Ras' student. More like use his teachings, since they work, and also, Ras claims to have information about his parents. So in a way, Arin's kind of using him.

"Welcome Arin. I've heard much about you," says the dragon.

So... no need to introduce himself then.

"Oh, wow," Arin says awkwardly with a nervous smile. "You already know my name. And probably more. I can't say I know the first thing about you, sorry."

"I am the source dragon of balance."

Arin distantly remembers that source dragons can take on a smaller form to speak to mortals with, so that explains how the dragon is regular-sized, but he still has questions.

"Balance? I've only heard of like, motion, energy, life, and uhh strength?" Arin says, trying to recall every source dragon. "There's more. I probably forgot..."

"I am the missing seventh source dragon," the source dragon of balance adds, conveniently providing more context.

So, this is Ras' master, a source dragon. Explains why Ras can communicate with them telepathically then.

"I see," Arin breathes. This is some info that the other source dragons probably don't even know. Crazy.

"As you might know, Ras is carrying out my plan to reverse The Coalescence. Since I cannot involve myself in mortal affairs, I have to..." the dragon lets out a deep sigh, "rely on the help of mortals such as you. And I am grateful, of course. As I describe my plan to you, Arin, I'd like you to decide whether or not you'd like to assist Ras."

The dragon presents a blade.

It looks familiar, and Arin knows he's seen something like this before. Something ninja-related that he had read about once or twice before. His unnecessary ninja knowledge just so happens to come in handy this time.

"The reversal blade? How did you get this out of the boiling sea? You need a master of fire and water for that!" Arin exclaims.

"Where do you think elemental powers come from? My dear mortal, source dragons are the very embodiment of elemental energy."

"Oh," Arin says, mildly embarrassed. "Okay."

"This time blade alone is not powerful enough to turn back the time by five years, and the other time blades are either permanently lost or have been destroyed," the dragon explains. "There is a spell you must carry out to give it enough power. The process will combine it with the tea berries of the Travelers Tree in the never realm, and seal the energy of one dragon into the blade. Only then will it have the power to go back before the events of The Merge. But that is not the full solution," the dragon warns. "Once the first step is done, you must take the measures to prevent the merge from happening again."

In the back of Arin's mind, he fleetingly thinks about how Frak and Sora both obtained elemental powers because of the merge. He wonders what they'd be like if they were powerless, like him. How satisfying it would look for them to be like him.

No, there's no point in fantasizing like this. It's pointless and also unkind. Besides, he might be mad at reality for not giving him elemental powers, and he still might be mad at Sora for lying to him, but that doesn't mean he hates her. He doesn't hate Frak either. He hates the merge.

However, Arin can't deny being a little jealous that both his best friends, new and old, are elemental masters.

"I'd like you to consider aiding us in our missions," the source dragon of balance says, snapping Arin out of his thoughts.

He freezes. "Why do you need me?"

Ras speaks this time. "We need a way to defeat the ninja, and my previous methods were... unsuccessful."

Arin's eyes dart nervously back and forth from the tiger to the dragon. Shouldn't he be making Ras find his parents?

"We don't necessarily need to defeat them," the source dragon says, then elaborates. "I haven't told you this yet, Ras, but not only do they have a dragon on their team, but their leader is a descendant of The First, and may have enough dragon blood to serve as a sacrifice in the spell. Arin, you could easily find the ninjas and obtain a sufficient dragon sacrifice."

Arin pales. "What?! I can't kill Lloyd or Riyu!" he shouts.

The dragon doesn't seem phased by the reaction. "If you go back in time to a time where you haven't done that yet, and change the course of time so that the same events won't ever happen again, is it really murder?" they ask rhetorically. "Once you're in the year before the beginning of the merge, you will eliminate the cause of it. Therefore, also eliminating this reality, and everything you've done along with it."

"Eliminate the cause of The Merge? You mean... kill Master Wu?" Arin guesses, eyebrows raised and drawn together.

"A necessary act, yes. But you won't be truly killing anyone else."

"No," Arin says immediately, shaking his head. "No, I don't think I can do any of that."

Ras bares his teeth but the dragon raises a clawed paw to silence him.

"You don't have to decide right now," says the source dragon. "I'd like you to let it sink in, and give me your answer tomorrow."

Arin folds his arms.

"So, I can say no again tomorrow?" he deadpans.

"If that is what you wish. As I said, you have time to make your decision, Arin"

The dragon gives the time blade to Ras, and Ras gives the time blade to Arin for safekeeping and he puts it in a backpack to keep it safe and hidden.

The meeting concludes and the source dragon leaves in a flash of glimmering light, so bright it's as if looking at the sun.

When it's safe for Arin to open his eyes again, the dragon is gone. Now it's just him and Ras.

"Let us train, I have much to teach you," Ras says. "We must force the progress"

The training begins and it's more vigorous than Lloyd's training. Lloyd tries to make training challenging, in the way Master Wu challenged his ninjas, but Lloyd may unintentionally be more lenient than Master Wu likely was, so, comparing this to Master Wu's most difficult training sessions, training with Ras might pale in comparison. Arin wouldn't genuinely know though, Master Wu never taught him, but what he does know is that Ras is genuinely harsh

Ras makes hurtful comments, some constructive, and others not, all while Arin gets progressively more tired.

As he does countless exercises that he's told to do, a horrible thought fills his mind: What if Ras is the one using him? It would make sense because so far Arin's made no progress in uncovering the whereabouts of his parents. He's done almost everything but that.

Arin's dehydrated, sweaty, and out of breath. The training is exhausting, and if he wants to do anything else productive today, he can't do this anymore.

"Wait," Arin pants.

"Progress doesn't arise from waiting," Ras growls. "Go through the motions again."

"No, it's about earlier. I have your word, don't I, that you'll find my parents?" Arin asks, reminding the other of his promise.

Ras doesn't answer the question. "You have 5 more minutes of this exercise."

"You never knew where my parents were in the first place, did you?" Arin prods. It's risky, but he's too tired to have a filter. "You lied to me. You're just using me."

"Arin, I did not tell you any lies," Ras says, looking away.

Arin waits for a further explanation, and rage simmers within him when there is none. He lowers his eyebrows.

"I saved you. You owe me."

Ras breathes out a long sigh. "Let's go, we're taking a trip to the wildness."

"What?" Arin blinks, surprised at the sudden compliance. He wipes the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his shirt sleeve. "You're actually...? Oh. Okay. Thanks?"

The entire walk through the forest, which looks different when the sky's not blood red, Arin pays very close attention to where they're going, just in case it's some kind of trick. But it isn't.

Ras takes Arin to the wildness, to a location not far from where Arin was in the wildness previously, where he had hallucinated Lloyd and Nya as his parents.

And there it is. Hidden behind a bunch of trees, and nearly crumbling apart, but aside from that, he'd be able to recognize it anywhere. It's his old house. It must've ended up here after the merge.

He's almost mad at himself. Before the tournament, during the blood moon, he had unknowingly been so close to stumbling across it. It's ridiculous, he can't believe he managed to miss it.

Without any further thought, Arin runs inside the unstable building.

The inside of the house was a big decaying mess. The ceiling was caving in some places, the paint was peeling off of the walls, and some of the windows were busted out or at least cracked. Patches of mold of different colors grow on the walls. The inside feels like an oven, baked under the heat of the sun.

It doesn't look like anyone has lived here in many years.

"Mom? Dad?" Arin calls out, his voice filled with uncertain enthusiasm. The more he looks around, the more worried he feels.

He walks into the kitchen, which is hot and stuffy like the rest of the house, and immediately stifles a gag.

The smell is like rotten eggs and bile and whatever disgusting smells he can imagine, all in one. The house reeks, but it still smells old, as if the smell was way stronger at one point.

The refrigerator is open, one of the doors ripped right off, and full of expired food. The light isn't on either, meaning the house likely has no power. This is confirmed when Arin doesn't see the time on the microwave or stove.

There's old blood smeared over places on the walls and floor, and scratch marks and small holes line the walls and floor as if some kind of fight went down. And on the floor are two people who are almost entirely decomposed to skeletons. Their hair and clothes are too familiar, and Arin knows exactly who they are.

They're his parents. And they're dead.

Arin falls to his knees in horror, taking in a sight he should not have to see. He clutches at his head in disbelief, unable to do anything other than stare and break down at the disturbing sight in front of him.

"I don't understand," Arin gasps in between sniffles. He shakes his head as he speaks. "You were alive, I saw a glimpse of you while the merge quakes were being stabilized!"

He hears Ras walking behind him, just entering the room, and Arin abruptly stands up to face Ras.

"You lied," Arin seethes, wiping the tears from his face. "You said you knew where my parents are."

"I did not lie," Ras says, devoid of emotion. "I said that I know what happened to them, and for the record, I never said they were alive."

Arin notes the scratch marks and holes around the room, which resemble scratches from sharp claws, and he wonders if Ras did this.  Cold rage consumes him, taking over his mind. It temporarily numbs the pain he feels and any mercy he might have.

He reaches into his pocket, feeling for his weapon of choice; the knife he stole from Ras. He doesn't take it out of his pocket. Not yet.

"You. Killed. Them."

"And what makes you think that?" Ras asks calmly, sounding intrigued.

Arin digs his fingernails into his palms, clenching his fists so hard that he draws blood from his palms.

"These marks," Arin seethes as he waves his hand around at the walls and floor, "are yours. I'm not stupid, you did this."

Ras sighs, disappointed. "Wrong equation, right answer."

Maybe he is stupid. Whatever. That doesn't matter. Screw Ras.

"Are those your claw marks or not?!" Arin shouts, face flushing with anger.

"No," Ras replies curtly. "They are not claw marks at all."

Arin clenches his fists, wanting to swing at Ras. "You're lying, I can't trust you or anything you say."

"These markings are from the guns in The Administration."

Arin doesn't care. He doesn't want to hear any more of this. 

"Whatever. You did kill them, directly or indirectly. That's all I need to know," he says bitterly.

"Well, yes. But I can explain," offers Ras.

Arin doesn't care for an explanation. He knows it will be a pointless, empty reason that he doesn't want to hear a word of. So he doesn't even attempt to humor Ras.

A realization dawns upon Arin, and it becomes the only coherent thought in his mind: He doesn't need Ras anymore. He already knows everything that he needs to know about reversing the merge, and he'll be able to get his parents back without Ras, who was never helpful in the first place.

"With all due respect, which is none, nothing would be a good enough explanation," Arin seethes.

Arin pauses a moment to look at Ras, who's undeniably the one who did this to his parents, then attacks, catching Ras off guard. He suddenly leaps into a spinjitsu tornado, knocking Ras straight across the kitchen, through the wall, and into the living room.

Arin coldly stares at Ras through the newly made hole in the wall and begins to slowly close the distance between them.

"Hope is the only thing the merge didn't take from me, and now that's gone too," Arin says quietly, each word filled with icy rage. "I can't trust anyone ever again. And you're mostly to blame."

He stands over Ras' barely conscious figure which lay on the floor, covered in drywall.

"Goodbye, Ras," Arin whispers bitterly. He can feel nothing but blind rage.

The teen pulls the knife from his pocket slowly, relishing the moment, then plunges it into the other's neck. It sinks down to the hilt before Arin repeats the stabbing motion, again, then brings it down to Ras' chest instead, with as much strength as he can muster.

All he can do is repeat the motion, even as his arms grow tired. He can't hear anything around him, only the rushing in his ears as he plunges the knife down again and again.

Eventually, Arin snaps out of the daze that he didn't even know he was in.

He takes in the sight he created.

"Oh," he squeaks weakly, horrified at what he's done. He doesn't know what to think, but he just killed someone. It's not like Ras was innocent though, but still. He just killed someone.

He just killed someone.

Arin backs away from Ras weakly, letting the knife slip out of his hands, trying not to think of how his hands and clothes were covered in warm sticky blood, and the knife clatters to the floor loudly.

It's impossible to count how many times the knife had pierced Ras. It's probably better to not know the number anyway. The sight isn't pleasant, to say the least, and he wonders if he’ll ever sleep again after this.

Arin doesn't know how, but he slowly manages to walk over to the kitchen, where the skeletons of his parents lay on the floor.

They're still wearing their clothes, which are tattered and torn through by claw marks, and they still wear wedding rings on their fingers. His mother's ring is thin and has few diamonds on top, all bunched together, and his father's is wide with a design carved into the top.

Reality hits Arin again; It's really them, and they're dead. How long they've been dead for, he doesn't know, but they're dead.

Completely and utterly horrified, Arin crumbles to his knees, pulling them up to his chest as he curls up into a ball on the floor. He tugs at his hair, overwhelmed.

Oh gosh, Ras' blood is in his hair now too.

"Mom, dad," Arin mumbles hoarsely, letting go of his knees enough to see the skeletons of his parents. "I'm so sorry. I wanted to find you so much. I always had this daydream where I'd reunite with you two as a hero, a ninja, and you were both so proud of me..."

He wants to hug both of his parents, but the skeletons that lay in front of him are too grossly terrifying to get closer to. And besides, that hug wouldn't be the same warm hug as the kind he'd receive if they were alive.

They can't hug him back anymore.

"...But I'm not a hero. I never was, but now I'm really not, I did something really, really bad."

Hot tears well up in Arin's eyes again, spilling down his cheeks and to his chin.

"But don't worry mom and dad, I'll fix it I'm gonna turn back the time. I'll undo the merge," Arin chokes out, throat tightening again. "None of this will have ever happened, and we'll all be alive and together again. No one can stop me."

Tears spill down his bloodstained cheeks while he cries uncontrollably. He tries to imagine what the last hug he had from his parents felt like, but he can't.

He has to change the timeline, it's all he has to live for. He'll see his parents again if he succeeds.

"I'm gonna hug both of you again," croaks Arin, grimacing when more tears fall from his eyes. He sucks in a deep sniffling breath and continues.

"And I'll bake pies for you too."

Arin doesn't know how long he sits there, pain simmering into gradually increasing rage like a pot of water set to boil. Now that Ras is out of the picture, he moves on to the next person to blame; Lloyd, who promised to find his parents. Another person who had lied to him. Probably to use him.

The ninja had all failed him. This is all their fault. If his parents were still alive, he'd still have a family and he'd be innocent.

When Arin decides to leave, he picks up the knife that he used to kill Ras off the floor and slides it into his pocket.

He sees himself in the living room mirror. Ras' blood is splattered all over Arin. On his clothes, his arms, his hands. He feels gross and sticky. A bit had splattered on his face too, which stained the fresh tears on his face, giving the appearance of crying blood. It looks like something out of an overly violent horror movie with a bad SFX makeup team.

Arin doesn't like what he sees.

Chest heaving, he swings his fist at the mirror with a shout, shattering it into pieces that clatter to the floor in tiny high-pitched clinks.

He doesn't look back when he leaves the house. When he succeeds with his plan, everything that he went through and will go through will be nothing more than a bad dream. He has the reversal blade, now all he has to do is go to the Never Realm and complete the ritual.

While he sprints through the forest, the source dragon appears before him with a question, startling him. "Where is Ras?"

Arin resists the urge to say something like 'duh, who's blood am I covered in,' but he doesn't say that. He still gets straight to the point. "I killed him."

"Oh dear," the dragon says wearily. They look surprised, maybe curious, but not angry. "Is there anything else you would like to share?"

"I changed my mind," Arin says. "I'm going to reverse the merge."

The dragon looks pleased.

"You changed your mind? Why?"

"It's the only way to get my parents back."

Chapter Text

Lloyd navigates The Destiny's Bounty with only a vague idea of where to find Arin. The rest of the team is on board the deck of the bounty as it flies through the air, nearing the never realm. Up ahead appears foggy from what seems to be a blizzard.

They're not past the border of what's considered the never realm yet and it's already becoming unbearably cold. Thankfully, everyone is fully dressed in winter gear. Boots, gloves, scarves, and coats with fur-lined hoods. They're not past the border of what's considered the never realm yet and it's already becoming unbearably cold.

He puts the navigation on autopilot in the general direction that they're headed and steps down to the deck to take a look. The cold air hits him immediately once he's no longer shielded from the wind.

The icy wind blows at Lloyd's face like knives cutting into his cheeks.

"I hope Arin's warm right now," Sora says, her breath visible in the cold air as she speaks. "It's freezing."

Lloyd chews his lip. "I'm sure he's okay."

Sora stands next to Lloyd while staring off the side of the bounty. She folds her arms over the railing and rests her head on top. "Yeah, he's okay."

They stare off into the distance together, neither one reassured.

Kai clears his throat. "Is it even the never realm anymore if it technically merged with all of the other realms?"

He has a point, but Cole rolls his eyes. "Do you have a different name for it?" he asks, rhetorically.

Sora stifles a laugh.

A gentle flurry of snowflakes begins to fall, melting on the warmer deck of the bounty as soon as they land, causing the surface to become wet.

Cole turns to Lloyd. "Anyway, I forgot to ask, what's Arin doing here? Other than uhh what you saw in your visions."

"Hey, I don't know if he did it yet! Or if he'll actually do it," Lloyd says, sounding defensive at first, but more unsure of himself in the last sentence. "Anyway, he got the reversal time blade, and he's trying to go to the traveler's tree. I don't know why," he wrings his gloved hands, "Before you ask, I don't know how he got ahold of the blade either. It should be impossible!"

"The reversal time blade, and travelers tea?" Kai says. "It sounds like he's trying to go somewhere."

"Or some-when," Nya corrects her brother. "That reversal time blade turns back time. I don't know what he'll do with the tea though, it's useless now that all the realms are merged. But if Lloyd's getting visions telling him to stop Arin, then it's probably bad."

Before Lloyd realizes it, he's pacing back and forth; a habit he's always had when he's worried.

"I cannot make sense of the tea's involvement in this. Assuming the time blade still works, it could be used to go to a time when the traveler's tea would be useful," Zane adds, looking puzzled.

"Before the merge!" Wyldfyre gasps, stating the obvious.

"Yes, but that is exactly why Arin does not need the traveler's tea," Zane sighs. "It transports you through realms, which is not necessary since the realms are already merged!"

Frak hums. "Hey, I might have an idea. When Ras was my master, he mentioned something, but I don't remember the details. Just that he wants to undo the merge."

The others all gasp, except for Nya, who's eyes widen in interest.

Lloyd stops pacing abruptly, slips on the wet floor, and lands flat on his back. He tenses, as his injuries are still sore from the tournament.

"Undo the merge? Doesn't sound that bad," Nya shrugs.

Before anyone else can say anything, Sora lends a hand to Lloyd and he takes it, standing up gingerly.

"Actually," Sora says. "I'm glad the merge happened. Otherwise, I'd still be stuck in Imperium, and all of those dragons would still be getting used as power sources. I probably wouldn't be an elemental master, not to mention I wouldn't have you guys." She looks to the others, "Everything good in my life came from the merge."

Nya purses her lips hesitantly. "Okay," she says flatly, expression unreadable.

The bounty goes quiet, and then Lloyd points up ahead. Everyone's heads turn to look at a cave in the distance.

"That's it," he announces, eyebrows raised in surprise. "That's the cave from my visions!"

Zane turns off autopilot and takes hold of the steering wheel. "The conditions are not good for the bounty, we must land here and walk the rest of the way."

"Why do we care about the bounty?" Wyldfyre asks loudly. "This is like, the 20th version of it!"

Zane gives her a baffled look. "Well, I would prefer for it to not be destroyed, and I spent a long time rebuilding it!"

Wyldfyre folds her arms and leans on the wall. "And why didn't we take our dragons?"

"Do you want them to all freeze?" Kai exclaims, visibly shivering despite being the master of fire. "Why do you think Riyu couldn't come along?"

"Fair point."

The bounty begins its descent, flying over the edge of a forest and toward tree-less snowy grounds. In the nearby area, there appears to be some kind of village, with houses and tents set up. More distantly, the mouth of the cave rests on the edge of a mountain.

Just before the bounty lands, Wyldfyre jumps off the side and lands in the snow. The others do the same.

"Fiiyaaa!" Kai all but squeals, both fists engulfed in the blaze of his elemental fire.

His student does the same but with bigger, crazier-looking flames that melt the snow directly beneath them.

"Chill out guys. I mean, stay cool?" Frak jokes, finger-gunning at the masters of heat and fire. "Freeze? Ha!" And it's kind of dumb but Cole laughs.

"I believe we are all feeling relatively cold," Zane comments, and everyone else actually laughs.

They keep walking toward the village, and Wyldfire leaves a trail of slush behind her flaming hands, melting the snow behind her as she walks.

"Always hated this place," Nya mutters to herself. She says it so quietly that Lloyd believes he's the only one who heard it.

It's an understandable statement, and everyone's entitled to their own opinion. That aside, it seems like Nya's upset. Lloyd wants to say something, but he doesn't know what.

When they walk through the village, a group of people who are talking amongst each other take notice of them.

"Hi! Are you guys lost?" one of them asks.

Some conversation begins, and Lloyd doesn't know what's going on other than the fact that Cole, Kai, Nya, and Zane are talking with them. His heart races and all he can focus on is someone carrying a basket of berries across the street.

It's Akita.

She's so beautiful, and Lloyd's reminded of it all over again just looking at her. He doesn't know if he's truly awake. It's surreal, he never expected to see her again.

He can't help but try to memorize every detail of her face. The way her face is cute and round, her teeth have slightly longer canines than usual, and her nose looks like a little dot. And her eyes are such a pretty brown color, like a deer (or more realistically an Arctic wolf).

Akita talks to the person walking beside her loudly with her hands. Her posture is tall and confident. Lloyd wonders what she's talking about, but she's too far away and the wind's too loud. Probably something exciting like an adventure, if he had to guess.

He realizes he's staring at her, and looks away suddenly. His face feels hot against the cold air. He shouldn't have looked for that long, that's creepy. Oh no, he's creepy, isn't he? It doesn't make sense, he's happy, he's nervous, he's feeling guilty about staring, and he isn't sure what exactly he's feeling overall.

Someone next to Akita, probably a friend, nudges her and she turns to look at Lloyd, who freezes like he's been caught.

Akita waves at him.

Lloyd's heart is beating erratically and he waves back, grinning widely like an idiot. He's so happy to see her again.

Kai's hand waves directly in his face. "Earth to Lloyd! Did you get all that?"

"Huh! What?" he flinches, arms going slack. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I said," Kai repeats slowly, smirking, and he's not doing a good job hiding his amusement. "The villagers just told us that they saw someone— who looks like Arin— go up that hill and into the cave! Let's go, Romeo!"

The rest of the team laughs, particularly Sora, and Lloyd hangs his head in embarrassment.

"Ugh," he sighs, burying his flushed face in his hands. "It's not like that, I was just saying hi!"

"At least she's not evil," Kai teases. "Come to think of it, we don't have any enemies that are women right now do we?"

Sora raises an eyebrow quizically, looking like she's about to ask about it.

"Wait! No!" Kai adds before Lloyd can defend himself. "What about Beatrix? You got the hots for her? Sadistic royalty with white hair--" he nudges Lloyd in the ribs with his elbow playfully.

The rest of the team laughs and Lloyd walks faster, like he's trying to get away from the group. Maybe he is.

"No! And she almost killed me!"

"Sounds like your type. I ship it."

"Kai, I don't think Beatrix is into guys," Cole says. "I'd be really surprised if she was."

"Besides, I don't ship it! I mean, I don't ship me with... her," Lloyd blurts, too weirded out by Kai's comments to be as embarrassed anymore.

Kai looks like he's about to drop it, then that smirk is back. "Fine, fine. What about wolfgirl?"

"She has a name—"

"Shut up everyone, we're here," Nya declares, gesturing towards the mouth of the cave.

They enter and Lloyd leads the way. The cave is dim and grows darker the further the group gets from the entrance. Thankfully, Kai and Wyldfire exist, and their powers light up the cave.

Lloyd uses his powers too, casting a green hue of glowing light against the cave. Long icicles hang down from the ceiling of the cave, like fangs. Or needles.

"I see a light!" Sora says, and in the distance, mostly obscured by frozen stalactites, is a light that can be seen flickering like a flame. "Do you think Arin's over there?" she asks, a sliver of hope seeping into her voice.

"Maybe. Let's check it out," Lloyd answers.

They proceed deeper into the cave. The icicles that hang down from the ceiling glow green, reflecting his powers, and then get slightly melted by Kai and Wyldfyre, who follow at a distance from behind.

They follow the light to a wide open space deep in the cave. The ceiling is higher and there is a small campfire right in the center of the area. Next to it is a cage, the time blade, and a bag with traveler's tea leaves peeking out. However, Arin isn't anywhere to be seen.

"Totally not creepy at all," Cole notes sarcastically.

Lloyd feels a cold droplet splash on his forehead, and he looks up to see an icicle. Another drop of water drips on him and he sees why it's melting. There's a bomb stuck to the thickest part of the ice, right by the ceiling.

"Take cover!!" Lloyd shouts, but there's no time. A loud explosion splits the air like a firework, causing bats to fly out of their hiding spots in the cave, squeaking and flapping their wings.

Lloyd wraps his arms around Sora, who's the closest to him, to shield her as the explosion causes bits of icicles to blow into powder and shards of ice to fly everywhere. Luckily, Zane redirects most of the falling ice, and Kai and Wyldfyre melt the rest, turning it into rain.

When the air clears up, Kai groans. "Ugh, my gi is all wet!"

"And whose fault is that?" Nya sighs, rolling her eyes.

Lloyd lets go of Sora and brushes the small bits of ice off of her. She stiffens suddenly, blinks a few times, and her eyebrows draw together with fear.

"Are you o—"

"Arin?!" Sora cuts Lloyd off loudly.

Everyone looks, and Arin walks out of the dark. Elemental firelight reflects off of him, revealing the dried blood crusted on his clothing and face. He's not holding any weapons but it looks like he's ready to fight.

The whole group stares in horror.

"Dude!!" Frak shouts. "What the heck?"

Lloyd resists the urge to hold onto Sora again, not to shield her physically but to shield her from seeing whatever this is.

Sora gags. "Arin! What happened?"

Arin rolls his eyes, expression stony. "It's not my blood"

"That's not any better!!" Cole exclaims. "Like, I'm glad you're not bleeding out, but...?"

Lloyd walks closer to his student.

"Arin. What did you do?" the words come out more accusingly than he means to, but he can't help it. He's already seen what happened, but he can't accept it. He doesn't want to.

"More like what am I going to do? By the way, where's Riyu?"

"I do not know how that is relevant," Zane comments. "But if you must know, temperatures this low are not ideal for dragons, so Riyu is not with us."

Sora looks at Arin with desperation in her eyes. "You're trying to reverse the merge, right? You know you don't have to do whatever Ras is making you do, we—"

"I KILLED RAS!" Arin screams, arms outstretched, and his warm breath clouds around him in the cold air.

His shout echoes around the cave and Sora flinches. Tears well up in her eyes and Lloyd instinctively steps closer to her.

"I don't really care about Ras, but why?" Sora's voice is uncharacteristically small.

"Why would I tell you?" Arin says, tone scathing.

Lloyd can't deny the truth anymore. But he also doesn't know the full story behind why Arin did what he did. Was it in self-defense? Maybe it was justified.

Arin suddenly charges forward and yanks Lloyd by the collar, dragging him towards the campfire. Next to it lay a spellbook, the reversal time blade, and a sack of traveler's tea.

The other ninjas charge in to help but Lloyd breaks free of Arin's grip with a quick swing of his elbow.

"What the heck?" Lloyd says, startled.

A ball of fire soars straight over Arin's head, missing by far enough that he doesn't even have to duck.

"You really gotta work on your aim, Wyldfyre," Kai sighs.

Cole puts his hands on his hips as he looks at Kai. "How about you tell her not to perform a live cremation on her friend?"

"Oh yeah, that too," Kai agrees sheepishly. "Ya hear that, Wyldfyre?"

Wyldfyre growls.

"I need a dragon for this spell," Arin says. "It's a sacrifice for this ritual to work."

The group exchanges confused glances.

"But," Lloyd falters. "There aren't any dragons here!"

Arin lets out a humorless laugh that sounds like a cross between a squeal and a sob. "There you go, lying again, Descendant of the First Spinjitsu Master!" he snaps.

"I don't think I'm dragon enough to be considered a dragon?" Lloyd says hesitantly like it's a question. "Did Egalt or Rontu see me as a dragon? No!"

Arin huffs. "Well, you look completely human, but I guess we'll find out!"

Lloyd backs away from Arin, who doesn't make an advance. Instead, he spins into a spinjitsu tornado and jumps behind Kai before grabbing him in an inexperienced chokehold.

"If you don't comply, I'll kill all your friends off until you do," Arin says angrily, but he doesn't sound sure of himself.

"Whoaa kid, tell your mom I can't make it tonight," Kai jokes, putting his hands up like he's being arrested. He jumps into a spinjitsu tornado and throws Arin. "Sorry kid, but you don't scare me."

Arin shouts as he flies through the air. He pulls out his grappling hook and it shoots towards the high ceiling of the cave, latching on. He unleashes enough of the wire to lower himself and catch onto Sora's hood, then pulls himself and Sora higher up.

"Not scared of me?" Arin scoffs. "Maybe I'll—" he turns to Sora and falters, "I'll..."

Sora looks at Arin, who's struggling to decide what to do. "Maybe you'll what, kill me?" she finishes the sentence, looking hurt. The two of them swing back and forth through the air, losing momentum.

"Arin! Put her down now! And carefully!" Lloyd scolds like a parent.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" Arin shoots back.

Nya gasps. "We have to get them down!"

"I got this!" Frak raises his glowing hands and closes his eyes, and a deep slight rumbling from under the ground begins shaking the cave. It quickly becomes like an earthquake and it shakes the grappling hook off of the ceiling.

Arin and Sora fall to the ground, not too roughly, but it isn't a soft landing. Lloyd runs towards them but the ground shaking makes it almost impossible to stay standing.

Ice stalactites that weren't blown up in the earlier explosion shatter and fall to the ground, along with small bits of rock from the ceiling.

"Frak, stop! The ceiling's gonna cave in!" Cole warns, and his student obeys.

The earthquake ceases abruptly, but the ceiling doesn't stop cracking.

"Uh oh," Frak gasps. "I'm sorry Master Cole!"

"It's okay pumpkin you're not in trouble," Cole says reassuringly, but more pieces fall. "Actually, no, we're all in trouble. But I don't blame you. Now you know to be more careful with your powers."

"We're cooked!!!" Wyldfyre shrieks.

Now that the ground isn't shaking, Kai runs over to the campfire, which is now extinguished by ice. He dodges falling debris and grabs the reversal blade.

"I got the blade!!" he shouts, waving it around.

Nya nods. "Great, now we need to get out of here!"

Sora begins to run but she stops when Arin doesn't follow. "Arin, are you coming with us?"

The other teen looks away, head down.

"No."

"Yes, you are!" Sora pleads, tugging at Arin's arm. "You're my best friend, I can't leave you!"

She tries dragging him and it becomes a game of tug-of-war, with her pulling on Arin's arm and Arin trying to pull his arm back.

Lloyd separates them. "Sora, go with the others! I'll talk to Arin."

Sora worriedly looks between the team and them. "But—"

"Go!"

Dust and bits of rock increasingly seep through the cracks in the ceiling, and Sora runs toward the rest of the team.

Lloyd looks at Arin.

"Are you crazy?!" Kai yells at Lloyd.

Which is immediately followed by Nya shouting "If you die, I'm gonna kill you!!"

It's the last thing Lloyd hears before rocks tumble down.

The cave goes dark with dust and powder, and the floor begins to crack. He doesn't know where anyone else is anymore, so all he can do is get down and shield his head with his hands. He uses his powers as a shield and feels someone brush up against him. Probably Arin.

The ceiling caves in, letting snow and dirt collapse inward, spilling onto the floor of the cave. Bright white light shines through and it's almost blinding.

Lloyd lets out a sigh of relief when nothing else happens, and stops using his powers.

Arin backs away from Lloyd, coughing hoarsely.

"Why wouldn't you come with us back there?" Lloyd asks, trying his best not to sound angry, but he kind of is. He just can't make himself understand what's going on with Arin. "You could've died!"

Arin doesn't say anything at first. Instead, he points his grappler toward the hole in the ceiling of the cave.

"Wait. Please, you don't have to go!" Lloyd pleads. "It's okay. Maybe not what you did to Ras, but it'll be okay... just, come back to the monastery. You're still welcome— you'll always be."

Looking helpless and defeated, Arin falls to his knees with tears bubbling up in his sad brown eyes.

"I don't belong. I always fail at everything I try to do, and that includes being a hero," Arin cries, swiping at his face with his palms. "I'm not a ninja. I don't know what I am anymore."

Lloyd's breath catches in his throat. It's a heartbreaking sight, watching Arin break down. All he wants is to give Arin love, a hug, and a good night's sleep. A nice warm meal too. He can't watch this, he drops his sword and kneels to the ground to wrap his arms around Arin.

"It's okay, you're hurting. I get it, and I'm here for you," he says comfortingly, holding his former student, no, his student, tightly in his arms. He hadn't lost Arin after all. He feels relieved. "Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere??"

Arin shakes his head no.

"Oh thank goodness," Lloyd sighs with relief.

"I never should've gone with Ras," sniffs Arin, wiping at his eyes timidly, head down. "You were so right, and I'm sorry for leaving. I'm really sorry. Do you... forgive me?"

What? Did he hear that right??

It's everything Lloyd's wanted to hear, and way more. He's so surprised by what he hears, and it's touching too. He doesn't want Arin to feel bad, if anything, he's just so glad to have his student back. It's what matters the most.

"What? Of course I-" he begins to say. He smiles warmly while he eagerly forgives the teen. But then he falters the second he notices the way Arin's arm pulls back, ready to... attack.

Lloyd blanches as the realization dawns on him. Shocked, he lets go of Arin and jumps back with a surprised shout.

The knife is covered in old blood, presumably from Ras. Lloyd doesn't know what to think, or how to react.

Arin grasps the handle so tightly that his knuckles are pale with tension, and springs forward. Lloyd barely dodges the blade of a knife, which cuts the air in front of his neck.

Oh gosh.

Arin just tried to stab him.

His mind goes blank, only acting on his instincts to defend himself at this point. It's impossible. His student, well, his former student, seemingly wants to kill him.

"You see Lloyd," Arin shrugs, but it's not a carefree shrug. His shoulders are stiff and his body is tense. "I'm gonna get that time blade back from your team. It doesn't matter if I kill you or not, it won't matter since I'm just gonna turn back the time. You'll only serve as a temporary, necessary sacrifice since you'll be alive in the past anyway. There's just one person I actually have to kill; Wu. But it's not personal, I just need him gone so he can't cause the merge again."

Lloyd wrings his hands, finding it hard to breathe.

"But Arin, we can't change the past, people have lives now! Think of people who made important relationships with someone from a different realm, or people whose lives were improved because of the merge. You want to undo all that?"

"What about the people who lost everything? You want them to stay miserable?" Arin snaps immediately.

Arin did lose everything, so Lloyd can't disagree with that, but he doesn't agree with reversing the merge, so he has to find another way to convince Arin.

"Even if you do go through with this, the merge was like 5 years ago. You weren't a teenager 5 years ago. So even if you remember all your training, won't you be, I don't know, a little young to... kill Master Wu? Anyway, the merge will just happen all over again," he tries to reason.

Arin's stony expression cracks slightly, and this seems to be something that he's more unsure of. He frowns as he thinks.

"Don't underestimate me."

"Arin, I think I have the right idea of what you are and aren't capable of," Lloyd argues. "Why are you going through so much effort to undo the merge?"

Arin's expression falls into a look that can only be described as despair. He raises his arms and flails them around angrily as he shouts.

"Because my parents are dead!" Arin roars, his voice suddenly full of pain and rage. "And you failed to find them. I can't believe I ever trusted you."

Lloyd freezes. The news catches him off guard. He hadn't seen that in his visions, but he does believe Arin.

"They're dead?" Lloyd breathes raggedly, swallowing hard. "How?"

"Ras killed them!!" Arin shrieks, dropping his arms forcefully to his sides. "He said so when I found their bodies."

It all makes sense now. Lloyd's heart breaks for the kid and he doesn't know what to say, but he's so, so sorry. And guilty. This is his fault. He promised that he'd find the kid's parents, and didn't.

"Speechless, huh? I guess you thought you couldn't make mistakes?" Arin fumes, voice harsh yet quivering, barely masking the pain in his voice.

"That's not true," Lloyd croaks, shaking his head vigorously. "I've made so many mistakes, and I'm so sorry Arin, I—"

"I don't want to hear it," Arin shouts angrily. He charges forward, fists balled at his sides. "Nothing you say can bring back my parents."

Before Lloyd can react, he feels a rough impact snap his whole head to the side as his face erupts in sharp pain. It all happens so quickly that he doesn't really understand what just happened.

His cheek burns and stings from the hit, but it's nothing compared to the emotional pain he feels upon realizing that Arin just punched him in the face.

Arin, whose fists are clenched tightly, winds his arm back in preparation to strike again, trembling in rage.

"I hate you!" Arin screams, angry tears pooling in his eyes as he continues attacking. "I hate you!! I can never trust anyone ever again!"

Lloyd can't bring himself to fight back.

"Never meet your heroes, they'll always disappoint," Arin quotes through sniffles and voice cracks. "I never bought that saying as a kid, 'cause I always thought you guys were the best."

He grabs Lloyd roughly by the shoulders, yanking him close, and knees him roughly all in one swift motion. The blow strikes his stomach, near his ribs, and he doubles over. He momentarily remembers teaching Arin this move. Well, if it isn't a consequence of his own actions.

"But it turns out, everything that I thought was true is a lie."

"I know saying this won't bring back your parents, but I really am sorry," Lloyd tries to reason, ignoring the blossoming pain around where he was hit; it's nothing he hasn't felt before. He takes slow steps away from Arin.

Aside from the anger in Arin's expression, his eyes blank and glazed-over. It's eerie and unlike his usual self.

"Sorry isn't enough, Lloyd."

Glowing sparks gather around Arin in the split second before he is engulfed in spinjitsu, spinning around to attack quickly, and the next thing Lloyd's aware of is the rough impact of being slammed against something rock-solid. The thick winter gear he has on doesn't do much to cushion the impact, and his entire body explodes in agony when he slides to the ground. He must've been thrown against the wall of the cave.

"Ugh," Lloyd groans, curling in on himself on the ground. 'That's gonna hurt in the morning...'

He squirms in pain and opens his eyes to see Arin standing over him with a knife. A sense of overwhelming impending doom strikes him as he realizes that there seems to be no way to stop Arin. For a moment, Lloyd wonders if this is karma for failing his student.

Arin prepares to bring the knife down and Lloyd flinches, shutting his eyes in fear, but the strike never comes.

"Get away from him!" a familiar voice growls, and something thumps to the ground.

Lloyd's eyes snap open. He looks around to see his rescuer tackling Arin on the ground.

It's Akita. And as thankful as he is, he has to stop her before this escalates.

"No! Don't hurt him!" Lloyd cries, forcing himself to sit up.

Akita ceases wrestling, but only because she has Arin tightly pinned to the ground. She's on top of him while he lies face-up, confusion visibly seeps into his angry expression while he tries fruitlessly to fight her off.

Akita rolls her eyes, sagging her shoulders a bit as she does so. "He's your friend, isn't he?"

Before Lloyd can nod, Akita rips the knife out of Arin's hand and tosses it into one of the deep cracks in the ground, which was caused by Frak's quake earlier.

"Hey!" Arin shouts angrily, no longer pinned. He gets into a fighting stance.

"'Hey' what?" Akita growls, baring her teeth. "Don't think I didn't see what you were about to do."

Lloyd makes eye contact with Arin.

"I'll be back," Arin warns his former master. "I'll get what I want and you won't be able to stop me."

And then he aims his grappler at the opening to the cave and leaves the other two to themselves.

Akita lends Lloyd a hand and he takes it, standing up with her help. There's something about holding her hand, even for just a moment, that sends butterflies through his chest. He lets go quickly because holding her hand for too long would be weird, and he could implode and cease living if that happened.

"Thanks for saving my life... again," he says gratefully.

"It's nothing," Akita dismisses with a shrug. "I only have one complaint though. Why must your friends always be attacking you?! You need to find better friends!"

"Actually that was my student."

"Your student?!"

Lloyd holds his left arm with his right. "I... I guess he isn't anymore."

"You're still his teacher," Akita replies, throwing her hands around in frustration as she speaks. "Give that kid hell! He needs a serious attitude adjustment!"

Lloyd chews his lip. "I can't, he's already going through a lot. He lost his parents in the merge."

There's an uncomfortable silence, and then Akita sighs.

“Well, speaking of the merge, I haven't been able to find my brother Kotaru since it happened. Have you seen him?" she asks.

Lloyd hasn't, but he almost tells her that he will find her brother, and nearly makes yet another promise, before he bites his tongue to shut himself up. It's almost muscle memory to make a promise at the moment, not considering the outcome of whether or not it's something he can keep. He has to stop.

No more empty promises.

"No, sorry. The merge does stuff like that, I'm sorry," Lloyd says after a pause. "I haven't been able to find my uncle either. I hope you find Kotaru."

Akita smiles. "Thanks, Lloyd, I'm sure I'll find him. And I hope you find your uncle too."

Despite the conversation being pretty normal, Lloyd's heart skips a beat at the sound of his name. It sounds so nice in her voice, he wants to hear it again and again. Her voice is nice, and her smile, and the way she's so passionate with her thoughts and says whatever she's thinking. And she's so beautiful, Lloyd can't look away.

"I'm glad we found each other, even if it was by chance."

The words slip out before Lloyd can think twice, and he feels his face heat up. He means every word, but he still hopes it's not obvious that he's blushing. His heart races painfully like it always does when he's anxious, but this time it's mixed with joy. It's a confusing feeling and makes his head spin.

"Me too," Akita agrees.

Lloyd can't look away from Akita's eyes, and she looks back at him. He doesn't know if he's breathing or not.

And then the moment is ruined when a boulder falls over and reveals Kai behind it.

"Lloyd! Sora's hurt," Kai pants. "A bunch of rocks fell on her, and Cole and Frak got her out, but we need to get back to the monastery."

Lloyd pales.

"You should go," Akita urges. "I hope your friend Sora is okay."

With Sora still being the top priority in Lloyd's mind, he doesn't know what's wrong with him, but a very random idea pops into his head.

"Wanna come with us?"

Akita shakes her head. "I appreciate the offer, but I must protect my people here. Please, do what you must. I hope we will meet again in better circumstances."

"Oh. Okay, yeah. Me too. Bye, Akita!" Lloyd stammers. He waves goodbye awkwardly, heart racing for two completely different reasons.

She waves back. "Bye, Lloyd!"

Lloyd takes one last glance at her before he follows Kai out of the cave.

The bounty flies in place with the anchor down, and the two climb onto the deck. They follow Zane into the bounty's control center, where Sora lies sheltered from the cold wind on a makeshift bed on the floor. Her hair is untied and clean white bandages are wrapped around her head like thick headbands.

Lloyd sways where he stands, unrelated to the movement of the bounty flying. He looks at his student, eyes darting from limb to limb as he takes in her ragged appearance. He holds his breath and chews his lip nervously.

“Will she be okay?”

"Sora is severely concussed. She is unconscious for the time being but I am sure that she will wake up soon," Zane explains, folding his hands as he speaks. "Her head is the only thing to really be worried about. Thankfully, her other injuries are limited to various levels of bruising."

Lloyd twists and untwists the hem of his gi. He feels so guilty that he might sink through the floor and into the depths of hell. "Concussed?"

Zane gives a sympathetic look. "Yes. I cannot predict the lasting effects of a concussion to this degree."

Lloyd feels sick. He saw this happen in his visions, he should've thought of the boulders being from the cave. A cold empty pit forms in the bottom of his stomach; this is his fault.

He kneels by Sora's side to talk to her, even if she can't hear him.

"Hey Sora, I didn't get Arin back. I'm sorry," he whimpers, throat constricted tightly. His eyes burn with tears begging to freed, but he doesn't allow it, he has to stay strong.

A hand suddenly grabs his shoulder and Kai kneels next to him.

"So... what happened with Arin?”

Lloyd sighs shakily, hanging his head. "I don't wanna talk about it"

He reaches forward shakily to gently brush Sora's hair out of her face, being extra cautious not to touch her head.

"You're worried," Kai comments, squeezing Lloyd's shoulder. "But Sora's gonna be okay."

He swallows hard and folds his arms across his chest, pressing his fingers into his upper arms in frustration, hard enough to feel pain through his jacket.

"We don't know that!"

Kai looks at Lloyd sympathetically and then pulls him into a hug. He lets his arms go slack and then hugs him back.

It's nice at first, but sharp pain jabs at a few of Lloyd's lower ribs. He sucks in a pained gasp, curling away from Kai.

Kai's brows furrow. "You're hurt!" he realizes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm not," Lloyd denies quickly, but wonders if he is. He's not injured badly, or at least he doesn't think so, but the pain lancing through him is hard to ignore. His ribs may be broken.

Tense silence follows, and then Wyldfyre, who was standing on the deck with the others, walks into the control room, looking uncharacteristically serious. She shivers and sits down on the other side of Sora.

"I blame Arin! Did you see the way he treated her in the cave? He's such a loser! If there was a contest for biggest losers, he would get second place!!" she fumes, not a trace of humor in her tone. She bares her teeth. "When I see him again I'll sprain his... everything! And I'll bend all his fingers backward! How dare he drag her so high in the air like that."

As unsettling as it sounds, it's kind of funny, but Lloyd can't bring himself to smile.

"Why wouldn't he get first place?" Kai questions.

Wyldfyre gives her biggest 'duh' face, eyes wide and jaw slack. "Cause he's a loser?"

Kai shakes his head. "Arin didn't hurt Sora."

"I'm still mad that he could've."

Lloyd folds his arms. He doesn't blame her. It's concerning how willingly Arin attempted to hurt Sora, even if he didn't. He wouldn't. Right?

This is all his fault.

Sora could've died today. What kind of teacher nearly gets their students killed?

His heart pounds like it's about to explode from his chest. He grips his knees tightly and tries to breathe against his constricting lungs without making it obvious. He has to get a grip, it's not the time to panic.

Zane, who's steering the ship, looks back at Kai.

"Kai, did you destroy the reversal blade?"

"Uhhh I still have it," Kai scratches the back of his neck. "We can't throw it back in the boiling sea, because Arin somehow managed to get it out of there to begin with. And even if we wanted to do that, we don't have any reliable post-merge maps to locate the boiling sea with."

Zane puts his hand to his chin, thinking. "Must it be placed in the boiling sea?"

"Oh, let me just ask Master Wu real quick," Kai says with a false cheery chuckle. "If I destroy it with fire will it explode? What if it's recyclable and I put it in the trash?" he frowns, "I don't know how to dispose of it!"

Lloyd tries to get ahold of himself, he's done it before, but he can't seem to calm down now. With a jolt of panic, he knows that he has to stop, but his spiraling only grows worse. He can feel his whole body trembling. The air feels thick and he can't breathe.

"Perhaps there could be something in his study amongst his many scrolls," Zane suggests. "I will do some research."

The conversation continues, but Lloyd doesn't know what they're saying anymore, he can't focus on the words. He feels dizzy and the room spins. He can't tell if he's actually holding his breath or not.

He can see Kai reaching towards him in slow motion. Voices register in his mind but he doesn't know what's being said. Black spots fill his vision and he doesn't think he can keep trying to breathe anymore.

"Lloyd? You don't look so good."

It’s the last thing he hears before he lists to the side and loses consciousness.

Chapter Text

A pin is pulled from a grenade and tossed off the side of a cliff. The area looks familiar, like some desert near Ninjago. On the edge of the cliff is Arin, sitting cross-legged on the ledge. The grenade rolls around to a halt, resting next to Arin's foot.

"I didn't find a new family," Arin mutters to the air. He flops onto his back and kicks the grenade off the side of the cliff. It detonates in the air halfway before it hits the bottom. "No one can replace my parents!"

Shrapnel rains back down, stirring bits of sand into the air. Arin quickly sits up again, chest heaving with heavy breaths. "Shut up!! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" he screams, waving his hands around his face. He bares his teeth. "The ninja could never replace my parents. I don't care if Lloyd said I found a new family."

Arin sounds like he's trying to reassure himself now. "Arghh, stupid, stupid, and he said it like it was a good thing too!" he yells. He reaches into his bag and pulls out another grenade, ripping the pin out with his teeth, and tosses it off the side of the cliff with a jerk of his head.

"Lloyd's a liar, they weren't my new family! They were just... A temporary thing!" he smiles nervously, cradling the now active explosive in his arms like a baby. "Yeah. A temporary thing. The ninja never replaced my parents. Never!"

Arin throws the grenade.

Lloyd shoots into a sitting position, gasping for air, then curls forward as immediate agony lances through him. He tries to recall what happened and the memories of earlier come back to hit him like a train. Arin really did a number on him. Lloyd doesn't know whether to be ashamed or proud.

His ribs feel like they're stabbing him and his left arm stings. The sudden movement from sitting up must've jostled his injuries. He pulls his left arm to his chest, clutching it in his right hand with a pained wince, and breathes heavily as the feeling fades to a low sting. He lets go slowly and tries to straighten his left arm again, only to realize that it hurts too much to get near being straight.

When the pain ebbs away enough for him to focus, he looks around and realizes that he's not in his room, he's in the med bay. The clock on the wall shows that it's somewhere past 5 in the afternoon, and he realizes that it hasn't been very long since he passed out.

On the other side of the room is another bed where Sora lies, covered in a fluffy blanket with two pillows under her head. She doesn't seem to be breathing.

Lloyd gasps. He has to check on her, he needs to know if she's alive. He anxiously slides out of bed, nearly slipping, and crosses the room. He puts a hand on the side of her neck, just under her jawbone, and feels warmth and a pulse under his fingertips.

"Oh thank goodness," he breathes.

He sags with relief, but he doesn't feel reassured. Anxiety continues to buzz within him, reminding him that this isn't right, and Sora's not okay.

The room tilts and Lloyd holds onto the bed for support. It's only then that he looks down and realizes, to his horror, that he's not wearing his gi, but pajama pants and a matching shirt.

He drags a hand down his face in embarrassment and tries not to think about it, but now he's thinking about it. Someone must've changed his clothes, and there's only one person who would do such a thing and not get why it's weird.

"Lloyd! It is good to see you awake," Zane greets with a smile as he opens the door to the room. "Sora is alright, in case you are wondering. Please sit down. I would like to check your vitals. My earlier scan shows that you have a hyperextended elbow and 3 bruised ribs."

Not surprising.

Lloyd doesn't sit down, he has bigger concerns.

"You took all my clothes off!" he whisper-screams, feeling morbidly embarrassed.

In the back of his mind, he knows that Kai would add '—Without buying you dinner first' to that statement, but thankfully Kai isn't here to tease him.

"Yes, and I put pajamas on you!" Zane confirms with a polite smile as if what he just said isn't weird. "Did you sleep well?"

If it was actually considered sleep, then it wasn't for very long. However, Lloyd doesn't remember going to sleep. He shifts uncomfortably, not wanting to say it. He doesn't want to sound weak.

"I think I, uh," he swallows, "I'm pretty sure I passed out." Only, he's not 'pretty sure', he's completely sure.

Zane nods. "I know, I watched you nearly the entire time! I asked just to confirm what you remember!"

Lloyd makes a face. "You watched me sleep!?" he cries.

He feels like throwing himself down the front stairs of the monastery. He still hasn't moved on from the fact that his clothes were changed either. He looks down, noticing he's not wearing the same socks as earlier, and wants to scream a little. Slowly, he reaches towards the waistband of the pajama pants with the hand of his non-injured arm. Did Zane also change his...? He lifts the fabric away from his skin enough to check and lets out a breath. His underwear is thankfully the same as it was earlier that day.

"Please have a seat," Zane orders politely.

Lloyd holds his arms across his stomach to hide the way his left arm can't fall straight at his side. Hopefully, he just looks cold— the room is chilly anyway. He walks back to the bed he woke up in and sits down.

Zane pauses, then laughs awkwardly. "It appears I forgot a few things. I will be right back."

With that, Zane leaves the room and Lloyd is left alone with his thoughts again. He can't help but look at Sora. He promised her that he'd find Arin. Another one of his promises that were broken. If she were awake she'd be disappointed at the very least. Lloyd doesn't know what to do. He wonders if he'll only make things worse while trying to fix them. He needs advice. He can't do this alone. He needs to talk to Master Wu.

Lloyd puts on a pair of slippers and easily sneaks out of the med bay—he's a ninja, after all—and returns to the second monastery without being spotted by anyone. It's dark with no sign of anyone else inside.

"Uncle?" he calls into the emptiness. "I need your help."

Glowing lights begin to appear from around the corners of the room. They gather together and form the shimmery golden apparition of Master Wu, bamboo hat, beard, and all.

"Whatever choices I make always end up being wrong!" he blurts, causing his ribs to feel like they're stabbing him. His breath hitches. "I can't do anything right. I wish you were here to help. One of my students got hurt, and the other one... chose a different path. I'm not sure what to do."

Master Wu's voice is cold and harsh. "Of course your student left, he wasn't given proper guidance."

Lloyd's heart sinks. When training Arin and Sora, he tried his best to use all of his uncle's teachings. It still wasn't proper guidance?

"But—"

The protest is silenced as Master Wu shakes his head.

"I fear there is nothing you can do about it. You only see the best in others, and when you never provided your student with the criticism he needed, he could not progress in his training," he explains. "He needed to find what was holding him back."

The blood in Lloyd's veins nearly freezes; Arin needs criticism, whereas Sora needs support. He should've thought of that. Sora overly criticizes herself and recognizes what holds her back (which is sometimes her own self-criticism), but Arin anticipates support and just expects to make improvements without knowing where to start. It all makes sense.

"I blame myself, nephew," Master Wu sighs. His ghostly form begins to dull as if he's fading away. "I felt you were ready to take over for me. But I was wrong. Your team needed strong leadership, and didn't receive it."

It almost physically hurts to hear. Lloyd knows that his uncle is always right, he knows better, has more experience, and is old and wise, and if he says that this is a failure on Lloyd's part, he believes it. Tears prick at his eyes but he blinks them back quickly.

"Oh," Lloyd nods, swallowing the painful lump in his throat. He let his uncle—his master—down, he let everyone down. It's his fault. He tried but he's not good enough.

Not.

Good.

Enough.

"...I'm so sorry," he croaks.

"Oh, that does it!" a familiar voice growls, angry and indignant.

The shout is followed by a massive ball of fire, which soars through the air, startling Lloyd. It flies through Master Wu's ghost, hitting the wall behind him and leaving a charred black mark on the stone. The ghost of Master Wu sighs and fades away completely.

Kai is standing by the entrance portal to the monastery of spinjitsu, and Lloyd doesn't know how long he's been there. 

"I can't believe Master Wu just said that!" Kai shouts, enraged.

Lloyd grips the front of his shirt, which is surprisingly soft, and squeezes the fabric tightly under his fingers.

"It's okay," he mumbles, looking at the floor.

It's not okay, because everything that his uncle said was true, and the fact that Master Wu had to tell him what he did wrong means that Lloyd disappointed him, and that's not okay.

Kai's expression softens as he changes the topic. "C'mon, let's get back to the monastery. Our monastery."

They walk back through the portal together and Kai continues talking.

"So, Zane told me you escaped the med bay. Please tell me you're not about to fall over right now," Kai says, half serious.

Lloyd huffs, sagging his shoulders. "I'm not," he protests tiredly.

Kai stares at Lloyd's face, and now that the lighting is better under the light of the torches in the room, they can see each other better.

"What happened to your face?" Kai asks, brows drawn together in worry. "It was a little red earlier but I thought it was the cold or something. You got a big bruise forming there."

Lloyd frowns and lifts a hand to his cheek, pressing his fingers down, not feeling anything unusual.

"No, the other side," Kai corrects.

On his other cheek, stinging pain lights up from underneath Lloyd's fingertips and he remembers that Arin punched him there. Pretty solid punch too. Lloyd can't bring himself to feel angry, he only feels hurt and guilt, thinking that he deserves it.

"Must've been from the cave collapsing," he lies after a pause, which would be suspicious if it wasn't such a believable lie.

Thankfully, Kai doesn't question it, he presses on with more questions.

"Be honest, where else are you hurt? I know it's not just that bruise."

Lloyd shrugs. "I'm fine."

"So, you're good if I tackle you into a hug again?" Kai raises an eyebrow skeptically, not reassured.

Lloyd hesitates, anxiously imagining the pain of being hugged tightly from earlier.

"Maybe don't tackle me... I have other bruises. Um," he falters, then opts to wave his hand around the generally painful area where his ribs are bothering him. "Here."

Kai steps forward and gently wraps his arms around Lloyd, just barely touching him. "Is this okay?"

The hug could be stronger, Kai doesn't have to be so careful, but Lloyd doesn't say that. Instead, he rests his chin on Kai's shoulder.

"Yeah, thanks," Lloyd says, hugging him back.

He stands there for a moment, warmed by the embrace, then Kai pats him on the back affectionately and they let go of each other.

"Look, I don't know what's going on with Master Wu, but don't listen to him this time." Kai runs a hand through Lloyd's hair, purposely getting it tangled and messy, but he doesn't mind. "You're doing your best."

Doubt races through Lloyd's mind again; he's still not doing good enough, he can do better. Kai just wants to make him feel better, but that won't help him be a better team leader.

"What if," Lloyd begins shakily, about to spew a fountain of verbal worries, but blinks in surprise as Kai puts a hand to his mouth.

"Ah-ah-ah, let's get your mind off of this. Zane's making dinner and you're gonna eat it." Kai puts a hand on Lloyd's shoulder, giving him a playful yet serious look. "You have no choice."

Lloyd sags his shoulders, defeated. He's not hungry, he's too anxious and the idea of food makes him feel queasy, but he'll have to try to eat. For Kai.

"Okay. I'm gonna change my clothes first."

He doesn't know if it's an excuse to buy himself more time, or if he really can't stand the pajamas. Maybe a mixture of both. If he takes too much time, Kai will catch on and won't be happy, so Lloyd isn't going to be able to skip this meal.

After changing into his usual gi, he decides to swing by the med bay to check on Sora, but he bumps into her in the hallway outside of his room.

"Sora! You're awake!" Lloyd exclaims with a smile. "Um, why are you wearing that?"

She's fully decked out in winter gear from head to toe, which is confusing because she was also wearing pajamas earlier. Lloyd makes a mental note to tell Zane that it's weird to change people's clothing while they're unconscious.

Pink hairs stick out in all different directions from under her hat, which is also pink. "Aren't we going to the never realm?" Sora looks at him, pure excitement radiating off her. Then her smile falters and she leans in closer. "What happened to your face?"

Lloyd blanches. Okay, so, she hit her head pretty hard earlier, it's not unexpected for her to forget a thing or two. He has to stay calm. It seems like Sora has her memories though, Lloyd just needs to find out how much she forgot.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Going to bed." Sora shrugs, visibly becoming more anxious. She looks at him with wide eyes. "We're about to leave, right? Why are you looking at me like that? What's up?"

Oh. Oh no.

Guilt starts in Lloyd's stomach, rising to his chest to suffocate his heart and lungs; Sora doesn't remember what happened today.

"Something weird happened though," Sora puts a hand to her chin in thought, "I'm pretty sure I fell asleep in my room last night."

Lloyd's heart sinks. What's he going to say? He can't disappoint her. He feels terrible; this is all his fault

"Sora, do you know what time it is?"

She shakes her head. "No. Why? Did I sleep in?"

"Don't worry, you didn't," Lloyd reassures her. He takes a deep breath, trying to figure out how to explain this to her. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's sometime in the evening right now."

He tells her about the events from earlier today and explains that they went to the never realm, and that a cave collapsed while they were inside and she got concussed. He leaves Arin out of the story entirely.

"So, you didn't find Arin?"

Lloyd looks away, unable to look his student in the eyes. "No, I didn't."

It's for her own good. She can't be hurt by what she doesn't know, right? Besides, she's still recovering from a concussion and maybe he'll tell her what really happened when she's fully recovered.

"Oh." Sora blinks, looking surprised. "Oh, okay. Well, I guess your visions were wrong this time," she shrugs. "I'll go take this all off, I'm getting sweaty."

Lloyd has no idea if he did the right thing or not. He just straight-up lied to Sora. As she turns to walk away, Lloyd's heart hammers in his chest. He can fix this, he can correct himself right now and say that he lied and tell her about Arin. But seconds pass and he can't.

He doesn't have the heart to say it.

Lloyd walks into the kitchen to fill his plate of food with whatever looks appetizing, but even though he'd normally like Zane's spaghetti and meatballs, he doesn't feel like eating it. He adds some to his plate and takes one of the two pitchers on the kitchen countertop into a cup. It's some deep purple mystery drink with ice floating around, and Lloyd doesn't know what to make of it.

The dinner table is full of overlapping conversations, but Cole, Kai, and Nya mostly mess with each other while Zane and Frak watch. Sora isn't at the table yet.

"So, you mean to tell me," Cole feigns a look of offense as he shovels a fork into a plate of noodles and twirls it around, "that I'm not allowed to cook?!"

"You're not," Nya confirms, raising an eyebrow at him. "It always ends up being some inedible monstrosity that will give us food poisoning or glue our mouths shut."

"What?" Frak grins toothily, thoroughly amused at the new information about his mentor.

Kai laughs loudly. "Yeah, I thought we decided this years ago. Cole still can't cook, so he's not allowed to," he states firmly. "New rule."

"Correction," Zane smiles, looking around at the table. "Cole can cook, but no one should eat it."

Cole shakes his head and swallows a mouthful of food. "But that's just a waste of ingredients!"

"It is either way, cause no one can safely eat it in the first place!" Kai refutes.

Lloyd walks into the dining room and takes a seat at one of the empty chairs, with Kai on one side and an empty chair on the other.

"Hey boogers," Cole greets with his mouth full.

Kai and Nya don't hide their amusement very well.

Lloyd sighs in dismay. "Hello... Cole."

He still doesn't feel like eating, so he puts it off by taking a sip of whatever was in that pitcher. It's cold and tart with a sour aftertaste that pricks at his tongue, but it's good. He doesn't mind sour things. He picks at the spaghetti on his plate, mushing it to the sides so it looks like he ate some.

"Do you guys like the riverberry and abyss-apple juice? I made it," Wyldfyre beams. "You humans can drink it safely."

Lloyd chokes at the unfamiliar fruit names.

Kai groans. "Wyldfyre, this is your daily reminder that you're not a dragon."

"That's offensive! Eat fire!" She stands up, scooting her chair back, with both hands aflame.

Kai does the same, matching her aggression level with ease. 

"I'll make you eat fire!"

Lloyd looks between Kai and Wyldfyre, turning his head from side to side and realizing that he's caught in the crossfire.

"Guys! Stop!" he protests, genuinely worried about the monastery being burnt down. "Save that for our next battle."

"You tell her to stop!" Kai gapes innocently, gesturing his arms towards Wyldfyre.

Lloyd wonders if having high-temperature powers comes with this type of personality. Like a buy one get one free deal.

With the wave of a hand, Nya summons a whole pitcher's worth of water into the room and it hovers over Kai and his student. Stray droplets drip down on their heads below.

"Stop or get extinguished," Nya says calmly.

The two of them sit back down immediately, still frowning, and the water goes back into the pitcher in the kitchen, but not without a trail of water droplets left behind.

Lloyd looks at Nya gratefully, and she bats her hand at him in a way that says 'It's nothing'.

It's good that Nya stepped in, Lloyd's thankful for that, but he should've been able to de-escalate the situation on his own, without help. Master Wu would've shut the fight down easily if he had been here. 

"Sora!" Wyldfyre smiles with excitement. "You're awake!"

Sora stands by the doorway, squinting against the light in the room while holding a plate of food. She pulls out the empty seat between Wyldfyre and Lloyd.

A heavy feeling weighs on Lloyd's heart, suffocating him, and he suddenly feels like crying. Sora's appearance is unusual. She normally has her hair tied up in a ponytail, but now it falls flat at the sides of her unbandaged head as she rests her temple in one hand, elbow on the table. There are dark circles under her eyes and she looks paler than usual.

"You are still concussed, please let me know—" Zane starts then gets interrupted.

"I'm fine," Sora scoffs, sitting down. She shuffles around in her seat, fidgeting. "I don't even remember hitting my head."

"That is not 'fine'!" Zane sputters.

"She looks fine to me," Kai shrugs after a pause, looking at Sora. "We'll all keep an eye on her in case she's not, don't worry Zane."

The others mutually agree. There's a pause in the conversation and then Kai's eyes light up humorously as he remembers something slightly related.

"Remember that one time Cole smoked Master Wu's special 'Tea' stash and thought his head was gonna explode?" he laughs to himself.

Cole looks up at the ceiling and clasps his hands together. "Oh no," he sighs.

"Oh yeah," Nya nods, a smile pulls at her lips as she turns to Cole. "You kept saying your tongue didn't fit in your mouth, and you forgot how to breathe."

Zane chimes in. "And I recall in detail that Cole began to panic, claiming there was about to be an earthquake."

The conversation continues and Sora scoots her chair closer to Lloyd. She reaches out to grab Lloyd's shoulder firmly, twisting to pull him in her direction and cups her hand to her mouth. She whispers in Lloyd's ear in a way that makes his blood run cold.

"Pretend this is a casual yet secret conversation," her breath is sharp in his ear, "You're a terrible liar Lloyd. Now be honest; did Arin knock my brains out?"

Heart pounding, he plasters a smile on his face, going along with it. "Uh, no."

Sora looks him in the eyes, her dark brown eyes meet his green ones, and she scans his face for a few seconds before she's satisfied. "Now be honest again," she breathes. "Did. We. Find. Arin."

Lloyd's cornered. "Yeah." His fake smile falters. 

A moment goes by and Sora's face falls in disappointment, but she doesn't ask for more details. "Okay," she mutters. 'Arin didn't want to be found' goes unsaid. She sits back down without another word, slurps up a spaghetti noodle, and doesn't look at him. 

The rest of the table chatters on about various other things, laughing here and there. A sharp pang of guilt hits Lloyd and he remembers again that if he had done better none of this would've happened. He can't undo Arin leaving or Sora getting hurt— and he's so, so guilty.

Not.

Good.

Enough.

A sense of hopelessness overwhelms him, bringing him to the brink of tears. His emotions are like a Coke bottle full of mentos in his chest, expanding and bubbling, threatening to spill out. He's sitting at a table for the whole team to see, no, no, no this can't be happening. He can't break down now, but he can't stop thinking about how Sora doesn't remember anything that happened earlier. It could've been much worse, and that scares him deeply. Words cannot describe how sorry he is, and how he wishes he could go back and protect Sora somehow. He wasn't good enough. Isn't good enough.

Lloyd tries to take deep breaths. He blinks back tears. He can't, he won't cry, but the stinging in his eyes and nose bridge warns him otherwise. Through all else, pain demands to be felt.

Tears well up in his eyes, blurring his vision, and a single droplet spills free. He holds his breath against the pressure building up in his throat and reaches towards his eyes to wipe the tears away, but it's too late, he's already been caught even though he hasn't made a sound.

Sora notices first, he can feel her eyes on him as he stares at the untouched plate in front of him.

"Lloyd?"

He can't stop the tears from falling, so he doesn't respond, fearing that the others will notice, but they do anyway. All conversation dies out to silence and he can feel the others' gazes on him. Except Cole, who's busily stuffing his face with food. Kai kicks Cole under the table, causing him to choke momentarily and look up from his plate of food.

"What's wrong?" Cole asks softly, with nothing but kindness and a lot of concern in his voice.

Lloyd shakes his head, refusing to look up at anyone. He doesn't want to see their reactions. This is humiliating and he wants nothing more than to disappear. Tears continue to spill down his cheeks as he stifles a sob into his hand.

"Nothing," he croaks against the tension in his throat. The words come out wobblier than he expected.

"I do not think that is correct," Zane says.

Lloyd chokes down a sniffle silently with his breath held. He doesn't know if he's ever felt this mortified before. It's too much, he wants to get away. He dips his head forward, letting his sandy blonde hair fall forward to hide his face as much as possible, but it doesn't cover much. Then he remembers that he has legs. 

He places his hands on the table and stands up in one swift motion before running out of the room.

For whatever reason, he ends up outside in the training yard, where the training course would be if it was in use. He looks toward Master Wu's ancestor shrine, then looks away in shame, knowing that his uncle isn't going to help.

From there, Lloyd climbs onto the roof, hoping his chances of being found are lower this way. He sits on the rooftop, hugging his knees to his chest. More tears dribble down his cheeks. He knows he's spiraling, and he doesn't want anyone to see. 

The tears keep coming, rolling down his cheeks, but he can't stop them. Trying to stay quiet, he holds his breath to keep any noise in until he can't anymore, only sniffling when he's forced to breathe. He couldn't stop whatever happened between Arin and Sora. She even asked to talk about it and he got distracted and never got back to her question. If he got involved earlier on, maybe none of those would've happened.

He's a terrible teacher. He barely knew what he was doing in the first place, and now he really doesn't.

Shuddering sobs wrack his body. His chest heaves as he nearly hyperventilates, putting pressure on his nose and throat. Distantly, he feels ashamed of this, but the main thing on his mind is trying to get himself to stop. He presses his hand over his mouth to shut himself up. He's truly pathetic, isn't he? He shuts his eyes, feeling tears and warm heat radiating from under his eyelids. 

He'll never be good enough. He failed to protect Sora, failed to find Arin's parents, failed to bring Arin back to the team, and he hasn't made an effort to bring Jay back either. The weight of his shortcomings is unbearable. He had tried so hard to be perfect. But he was no leader, no teacher, and most certainly no master. 

He knows what he has to do next. What he should've done a while ago.

He has to quit.

Moments pass and he can hear the sound of footsteps on roof tiles. A figure sits next to him, but Lloyd is too tired to care at this point. 

"Hey, Lloyd," Kai's voice is small, unsure of himself. "Look at me. Are you okay?"

Lloyd shakes his head,  It's a stupid question, and the answer is no, but he opens his eyes and slowly turns to look. "I quit."

Kai does a double take, frowning and eyes blinking rapidly. He opens his mouth, shuts it, and opens it again. Kind of like a fish.

 "What?"

"I said, I quit, Kai!" Lloyd says, sniffling into the back of his sleeve.

Pure confusion and disbelief are displayed on Kai's face. "Quit what?"

"Leading! Someone else can take that role." Lloyd is almost frustrated with Kai's level of denial. Had he really said 'Ninja never quit' that many times? Okay, yes, yes he did. 

"No one else is gonna take your place on the team," Kai says gently, sliding closer.

With a deep shaky breath, Lloyd backs away and begins climbing down from the roof. 

"Just... leave me alone."

Lloyd walks back to his room, being extra careful to avoid anyone. He tiredly collapses face-first into his unmade bed, smothering his flushed tear-stained face onto the cool blankets that he can't breathe through. He's so tired. 

Everything bad that happened recently was in his control, and he blames himself, it's his fault. None of this would've happened under Master Wu's leadership. Now he has to fix this, he has to improve. Do better. If he can't correct himself consciously, he'll correct himself subconsciously.

He rolls over and stares at the ceiling. A terrible idea comes to mind, something he hasn't thought about since the last time his mental state took this big of a nosedive.

He has to punish himself.

Sitting up shakily, he walks around the room to search for his weapon of choice. Being a ninja, fortunately, or unfortunately, sharp things are easy to come by.

Lloyd hasn't done this in many years, and the scars have faded completely from his skin, causing him to feel somewhat ashamed about what he is about to do again. If the rest of the team found out, he doesn't know what they'd do, but he doesn't want to know. It's not like they could hide all of his knives and swords or something, that would be ridiculous. However, he doesn't want them to ever know. Especially Arin or Sora. But it's not like Arin is at risk of finding out.

He holds the hilt of the knife in his dominant right hand and presses the cold tip of the blade to the skin of his left arm, away from his wrist. Even near his elbow makes his heart race with fear but he settles for that. He's afraid but he deserves this. If he can't consciously make himself do better, he'll subconsciously make himself do better; This is for his own good.

A sick feeling settles in his stomach, telling him not to do this, but he ignores it. Because he's pathetic, not good enough, and the team deserves a better leader.

He braces himself.

...

Lloyd's racing thoughts come to a halt, drowned in a thick brain fog. He must've zoned out for a while and didn't realize it. The knife slides out of his hand and hits the floor, but he barely takes notice. He's so light-headed.

He stares at his arm, which is lined from his forearm to his bicep with cuts no deeper than a cat could make. The deepest scratch produces no more than a few droplets beading along the site of the cut. If it weren't for the way they lined up on the inside of his arm, these could be papercuts.

He can't even punish himself correctly.

The room tilts and he shuts his eyes against the wave of vertigo that hits him. He wants to do the other arm, but his left arm is hard to use since it's still injured from the day before. Oddly enough, he doesn't dwell on it much, as he finds it hard to form coherent thoughts anyway. All he can focus on is the hot stinging sensation on his skin.

Blank nothingness engulfs his mind and he can't form a coherent thought. He tugs his sleeve down and falls back on his bed, facing the ceiling. It's so quiet now that he can hear himself breathing unevenly as his ears ring dully in the empty silence of the room.

Guilt seeps through the fog in his mind, but he... um... he can't think... uh...

The details of the ceiling blend, melting into one creamy color with a layer of visual snow. There's a knock at the door, it sounds like maybe someone's talking, but Lloyd doesn't know, and he doesn't care, he doesn't care, he doesn't...

Nya's voice calls from behind the door.

"Lloyd, can I talk to you?" 

He snaps out of his daze, blinking and his eyes focus again, he sits up and gets off the bed. Nya can't walk in and see him doing nothing, so he picks up a random scroll.

"Um, sure. The door's unlocked," Lloyd answers, opening the scroll and sitting on the floor. He sees the knife on the floor— uh oh, can't have that there— and kicks it under his bed.

Nya slides the door open, shutting it behind her, and Lloyd looks up.

"Hey, sorry about earlier today," Nya sighs, "I was dumping my anger on you and there's no excuse. You didn't deserve any of it, and I'm sorry."

'I'm really sorry. Do you... forgive me?' Arin's voice echoes in his head, and Lloyd has to remind himself that this is Nya talking, not Arin.

Wait. Nya's apologizing? Lloyd blinks in confusion; He almost forgot about earlier today, and anyway, he doesn't need an apology from her. She didn't do anything.

"No, you're good!" Lloyd insists, eyes wide in earnest. "Really, I wasn't bothered."

Nya sits in front of him, a warm smile on her face, and she points at the scroll that sits on the floor between them. 

"Are you trying to practice reading upside down?" she teases.

Lloyd realizes that the text on the scroll is flipped around, facing Nya instead, and silently curses himself. He gives a small, sheepish, smile and turns the scroll around.

"Um, I was trying to see if there was a hidden message in it!" The words sound stupid in his head, and even stupider when he says it out loud, so he confesses. "No, I lied. I wasn't. I..." He hesitates. What should he even say; 'Hey Nya, I spent Source-Dragons-know-how-long playing slice master on my left arm and lost. LOL'??

"—I was thinking. About stuff." 

Nya gives him a sympathetic look, then grabs his hands, holding them in hers. It feels nice, he wants to sink into her touch.

"You're putting too much pressure on yourself, it's stretching you thin," she gives his hands a comforting squeeze, "Kai told me what Master Wu told you, and I can't believe it, ugh, he shouldn't have said those things. It's not good for your mental health. I mean, no offense, but you look terrible!"

Lloyd's shoulders slump. "But Master Wu's right. I wasn't ready to take over for him. I don't know why he thought I was, that was stupid."

"Hey! No!" Nya says firmly. "You aren't supposed to be ready anyway. When Master Wu first found Kai and me in our parent's shop, was he inexperienced and anywhere near your age? No, Kai thought he was some random old freak with dementia— no, really!"

A small smile tugs at Lloyd's lips, and the weight on his shoulders lessens slightly. "Sounds like something Kai would say."

Nya nods. "He was super old, and he only got older, and he had tons of experience already," she insists. "C'mon, you're doing your best. The only pointer I can give you— other than to stop being so hard on yourself— is, instead of trying to do everything exactly the way Master Wu would, you should do it your way."

What? But that's all Lloyd's been aiming to be, exactly like Master Wu. He blinks slowly in confusion, not processing what he's just been told.

"Master Wu's made mistakes too, we probably don't even know the half of it," Nya says with a shrug. She gives Lloyd's shoulder a nudge. "So be you. Besides, I trust your judgment better anyway."

Lloyd's eyes manage to get glassy with tears yet again, but this time it's more so from relief. Nya trusts his judgment over Master Wu's?

"Really?" Lloyd asks, lower lip quivering slightly.

"Duh! I'll always trust you!" Nya reaches down and moves the scroll to the side, then pulls Lloyd into a tight hug, rubbing circles into his back. "Remember that."

Dull, stabbing pain lances through him, a reminder of the injuries he sustained to his ribs, but he doesn't care.

"Thanks."

Chapter Text

A loud growl pierces the air, claws scrape against something tougher, sounding like nails on a chalkboard. He sees a glimpse of a mountain and a lake below. A calm image before he feels like he's been lit on fire. The dragon growls again more loudly this time. A horrific, pained wail, like a cry for help that is so loud and terrifying that he wants to cover his ears.

Something's wrong.

Lloyd is no stranger to waking up screaming, it's the only way he ever seems to wake up. Each time is the same; shooting into a sitting position, sometimes screaming (although that's happening less recently), and gasping for air. He hadn't had a night this bad in a while. He could've let go of his hatred for sleep, but this night is another reminder of how bad it can be.

He sits there, clutching at his heart through his shirt, trying to even out his breathing and allow the visions fade from his mind—flashes and blurs of who knows what—none of which made the slightest bit of sense. He doesn't even remember what he saw anymore, all he can comprehend is the paralyzing fear that remained. His hand finds the hilt again, mind itching for the mixture of numbness and pain from before. A wave of shame washes over him; he shouldn't be doing this. Half of him feels like throwing up, but the other half makes him do it anyway, more forcefully than last time, since he deserves it and...

Now that he's wide awake, he definitely can't go back to sleep anytime soon.

Moonlight seeps through the sliding door to the outside, casting glowing blue rectangles across the middle of the floor. It's disappointing; it must be nowhere near dawn. He wonders how long he slept, that is, if he got much sleep at all.

Lloyd breathes out a trembling sigh, no longer feeling his heart pounding out of his chest so much anymore, and he lets his stinging arms drop to the blankets at his sides where he sits on the bed. If he can't go back to sleep, he might as well make some tea. Quietly. Maybe some tea will help him relax.

He walks to the kitchen and begins heating up water on the stove, then sits on one of the island stools and rests the side of his face on the marble countertop, feeling the cool smooth surface beneath his cheek. It's oddly comfortable, and his eyelids feel so heavy, maybe he can close them for just a moment...

No.

Despite the comforting feeling of letting himself sleep, he remembers the visions and forces himself back into awareness. The room spins and Lloyd feels like he's falling through the table. He snaps his head up, eyes wide with forced alertness. Rontu wouldn't approve of him losing this much progress, but he can't help it, he can't handle more visions.

He forces himself to stand, pour the water into a cup, and drops a teabag in it, stirring it with a spoon. The spoon clinking against the inside of the cup slows as he becomes sleepier.

From somewhere behind him, a floorboard creaks and he snaps his head around, startled. A familiar pink-haired teenager stands at the doorway, the dim light from the room behind her glows around her slouched form. Which is odd, because everyone should be asleep right now.

"Oh, hey Sora," some tension leaves Lloyd's shoulders, his lips turning up in a small relieved smile. "Thank goodness. Why—" are you awake? 

"You don't look so good," Sora cuts him off sleepily, walking past Lloyd. 

Lloyd frowns. 

"You can barely see me!" he protests weakly, at a loss for words. 

"I just know," Sora says confidently as she opens the refrigerator door, casting a gentle glow across the kitchen. She glances back. "Eye bags.”

Her tangled pink hair is untied, falling loose over her shoulders messily. She's wearing her usual cat-themed pajamas and cat slippers. Maybe she was asleep, or maybe she was pulling an all-nighter! …Which would earn her a lecture about healthy sleep schedules.

“You’ll get them if you’re always awake at this time too,” Lloyd reminds her. 

“Yours aren’t that bad. I’ll live.”

“I’m flattered.”

She grabs a box of strawberries and freezes, shielding her eyes with her other hand. Lloyd takes the box out for her, then closes the refrigerator door, leaving the room dim again.

"Thanks." Sora sits on one of the stools beside the kitchen island, drawing her knees to her chin. How she managed to balance like that was beyond comprehension. "I'm still sensitive to bright lights and sounds and stuff."

Lloyd tenses. Guilt twists in his stomach, heavy and sickening. It's all his fault, but he can't dwell on that right now or he'll break. He knows what to do, so he focuses on that instead.

"I should tell you what happened.”

Or, he should've already, but better late than never, right?

Sora doesn't say anything, but she nods and listens intently as Lloyd recalls the events from the previous day, only, something is off. She keeps the same expression the entire time, not once expressing anything other than a blank receptive nod.

It's so unlike her that it catches Lloyd off guard. He stumbles over his words, going back and repeating sentences he couldn't finish, all while he carefully scans her face for something- anything- to hint at how she feels.

"Sora, I'm so sorry. I almost lost you, you could've..." died. But he can't finish the sentence, the word dies on his tongue. "I shouldn't have lied to you, Sora,"

Sora puts a plate of strawberries on the kitchen island, leans on it, and shoves a strawberry in her mouth, leaves and all, and chews it. "There's nothing you could've done, Lloyd. It was that stupid cave. There should've been a sign on the floor like, 'Caution, wet ceiling', or something. Wait, no. Fragile ceiling. Pfft."

She's behaving strangely, Lloyd notes. Too unserious compared to how she usually acts. It could possibly be a concussion symptom, but he doubts it.

Lloyd walks over to the island, sitting down face to face with his student, "I'm sorry. It's okay to be mad at me, please be mad. You have every right to be."

He's almost pleading for a normal reaction, something, anything that could make up for what he did. He doesn't want to lose another student.

Sora's expression goes blank, unreadable. "I understand why you didn't tell me, and..." she trails off, then looks down at the container of strawberries in front of her, "I was mad, I think, but I shouldn't be."

She's feeling guilty about something, Lloyd notes, but there's nothing she needs to feel bad about.

"You should be mad at me—"

Sora grips the side of the countertop so tightly that her fingers turn red and white, trembling slightly. "No, really, I understand. During that fight under the Blood Moon, I made Arin think he used Object Spinjitsu on Ras. I lied to him. I wanted him to feel like he was a useful part of the team, especially after training with Egalt and Rontu."

Lloyd wants to tell Sora that it's not her fault and that she shouldn't blame herself, but he doesn't interrupt her.

Sora wraps her arms tightly around herself and sighs. "Arin hates me and it could've been avoided if I didn't lie to him. You wanted to hide the truth from me and I can't hold that against you, but I keep making up worst-case scenarios in my head," she grips the sides of her head as she overthinks out loud. "What if Arin really, really, really hates me?! I'm the reason he left! Anything that happens to him now is my fault."

She bows her head, pink strands of loose hair falling down over her face, and Lloyd slowly places a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Arin might be mad, but you're still his best friend. He doesn't hate you," Lloyd insists. "Besides, you only wanted to help."

Sora lifts her head to look at Lloyd, unshed tears glistening in her eyes.

"Then why does it feel like he hates me?"

She's putting too much pressure on herself. Now where could she have possibly gotten that from?

Lloyd opens his mouth to speak, something warm and reassuring at the tip of his tongue, then a sudden loud sound in the previously quiet monastery causes him and Sora to flinch. The sound came from down the hall. Lloyd looks at Sora, who looks back at him and then they both slip out of the kitchen to investigate.

The doors to the game room are wide open, Cole stands in the middle of the now-ransacked room. A cold night breeze sends a draft through the room and Lloyd shudders.

"We need to go after him!!" Cole shouts, panting. He has the reversal blade remains clutched tightly under his knuckles.

Lloyd's eyes dart around the room and to the broken window, which faces the fence that blocks the edge of the cliff from view. "After who?"

Before Cole can answer, someone enters the weapons room, mouth open in the middle of a yawn—their hair sticks in all different directions like a porcupine.

"Cole!" Kai groans, rubbing his eyes as he complains, "At specifically midnight, every night, you always eat the entire fridge! What are you, the great devourer?" He pauses and looks around too, confused. "What, did you eat the dragon icon too?"

Lloyd's eyes dart around the room, the sword nowhere to be seen. He does notice Riyu creeping around in silent curiosity behind the doorway.

"Sure, Kai, it was delicious," Cole scoffs, before becoming serious. "Arin stole it!"

Unfortunately, Lloyd isn't surprised. If only he knew what Arin was up to. Whatever it is, it can't be good.

"Arin was here?! We have to go after him!" Lloyd exclaims, looking between Cole and Kai. "Not you Sora, you need rest."

Sora folds her arms tightly and looks away from Lloyd, her eyebrows drawn together with her lips pursed. She doesn't say anything. 

Uncertainty twists in Lloyd's chest and he freezes. What if it's better if Sora comes along? What if he makes the wrong call? What if-  He silently lets out a breath, letting his swirling doubts come to a halt. Right now he needs to know what Arin's doing with the dragon icon.

Bright blue and purple lightning strikes soundlessly in the distant clouds. Warm, moist air whips at the sides of Lloyd's face, blowing his blonde hair into his eyes as he holds onto the dragon he's riding. Cole, Kai, and Zane fly beside him. They've been traveling for some time and only now does anything interesting happen. A loud growl pierces the air from below, unmistakably from a dragon.

The ninjas' dragons descend and as they approach the top of a short mountain, Lloyd gets a better view of it. His head spins with deja vu; he's seen this before in a vision. 

Under the light of the cage, the familiar red and orange scales of a familiar dragon in its mortal form glisten, imprisoned in a holographic cage, a typical imperium style when it comes to technology and cruelty towards dragons.

"It's the motion source dragon!" Lloyd exclaims. He notices someone else beside the dragon's cage. Their clothing is a familiar shade of orange, and Lloyd's not surprised. It still hurts though. "...And Arin."

The dragons land on the grass and Lloyd jumps down, followed by Cole and Kai. Zane waits by the dragons just in case. Somehow, Arin doesn't turn around, and Lloyd frowns, hand signaling for Cole and Kai to wait. It doesn't make sense for Arin to not notice them. Well, it's possible, but Lloyd doubts it. 

He looks closer at the dragon and the cage it's in. The cage has clear pipes coming out of it and leading to glass vials, and slowly running through them to the vials is a glimmering gold substance; Dragon energy.

Lloyd begins to walk towards Arin, cautiously, but he doesn't make a move to reach for his dao.

"Arin, what are you doing?" Lloyd asks when he's in hearing range, but still a distance away.

'Source dragon energy is a very powerful thing,' the motion source dragon's voice booms telepathically in Lloyd's head, startling him. 'In the wrong hands, it can... well you can use your imagination.'

The younger ninja, who was fidgeting with putting the cap on a full bottle of dragon energy, stills. He doesn't do anything for a moment, then gets back to draining the dragon's energy. When Arin speaks, he doesn't turn around. His voice is barely above a whisper, and it takes Lloyd a moment to process what he says.

"Go away, Lloyd."

Unsure of what to do, Lloyd squeezes his fists tightly and relaxes them, trying to clear his mind for good ideas. He observes his surroundings. Laying on the ground by Arin's shoes is a key, presumably a key to the cage, but Lloyd doesn't necessarily need a key to free the dragon.

Lloyd walks towards the cage and feels a hand behind him yank him back by the gi. Tight hands spin him around and he's turned face to face with Kai and Cole.

"What are you doing!" Kai whisper-screams. "Do you have a plan? Wait. You're not the leader anymore- I think. Do I have a plan?"

"I have a plan—" Lloyd whispers.

Cole gasps. "What's the plan?"

"—I wasn't done talking!"

Cole and Kai's eyes stare into Lloyd's like lasers, listening carefully.

"Remember that thing I did to set all the dragons free in imperium?"

Kai says "Kind of" which overlaps with Cole saying "No" at the same time.

"Just— Trust me!" Lloyd rushes. "Stay back!"

He turns toward the dragon and hears Kai say something about being glad that he's being more confident again. Lloyd doesn't feel confident though, but he does know how to be a conduit to dragon energy.

As Lloyd approaches the cage, Arin suddenly takes a defensive stance.

"I told you to go away."

"And you thought I'd go away?" Lloyd gives him a small smile. He reaches for the cage and touches it.

The last normal thing he sees is Arin trying to stop him.

And then he's in the mind space where he typically sees visions, only, it's just the source dragon this time.

"Thank you for freeing me, Lloyd," the source dragon explains. "I'm reminded daily why we source dragons don't usually involve ourselves in mortal affairs aside from these dire times.”

The source dragon disappears from the cage in a bright flash of light, causing a shockwave that throws the ninjas in directions away from the cage, minus Lloyd, who's floating.

Arin flies far backward, approaching the very edge of the mountain. He reaches out and grabs onto the only thing he can hang onto; grass and dirt. It doesn't do much other than shove dirt under his nails.

The fall only takes a few seconds, but it feels like an eternity, feeling the tingly sensation of falling faster than his internal organs. He can't help but scream.

Arin hits the water. The surface feels hard like concrete, slamming into his knees and legs first, fully submerging him in the lake. He goes weightless in the cold water, surrounded by dark blurry things that he can't see well. Looking up, he can't see the surface. His heart pounds and bubbles escape his mouth and nose; he must be deep underwater. He flails his arms and legs, attempting to propel himself towards a surface he can't see, but he's so tired that he's getting nowhere.

His lungs burn, begging for air. He shouldn't breathe, but he has to breathe. He sucks in a big breath of water against his will and chokes, swallowing down the water instead by reflex. It's not air that he breathed but he needs air so badly. He can't breathe.

Exhaustion weighs him down, keeping him from swimming. He's so tired. The dark water around him is getting dimmer, fading away, and he quits. He gives up on trying to swim, it's not like it'll help anyway.

It's strangely peaceful in a way, floating in the dark water alone in silence—fuzzy plants from the bottom of the lake brush against his sides like blankets—he's going to die here, but he's okay with it. He relaxes and lets the darkness take him away, but it doesn't last long.

His awareness comes back in a haze. He's so cold. Everything hurts. It hurts to breathe.

Arin coughs and chokes up so much water. He keeps coughing up the water until he's dry heaving. His nose feels like it's on fire.

Someone supports him while he coughs. Through Arin’s blurry vision, he can see the wet pink hair that sticks to her face, and her familiar pink-and-white gi which is also soaked. It’s Sora, she must’ve been the one who just saved him. Arin tries to call out to her, but all he can do is gasp and continue coughing. And then his vision fades to black again.

Kai's the one who catches Lloyd this time when his eyes no longer glow and he stops floating. 

“Holy shit is he okay??” Cole exclaims, eyebrows drawn together and eyes wide like a hamster. “What was that?! You two are acting like this is completely normal!”

“Yeah this is totally normal.”

”What Kai means to say is that this has happened before and Lloyd will most likely be okay,” Zane helpfully explains.

"I really need to work out again," Kai says, adjusting Lloyd in his hold. "Unless Master Wu is actively chasing after me with his staff I kinda have a hard time forcing myself to hit arms. Ya know?"

Zane facepalms. "I can take him off your hands for you, Kai."

"Please do."

After handing Lloyd over to Zane, Kai messes up Lloyd's hair. "Sleeping. Like a baby," he teases.

"Lloyd's temperature seems unusually high," Zane notes. "I'm going to run a scan to determine the cause."

Kai and Cole's eyes widen in concern. 

"Oh, okay." Kai looks around as he waits for Zane to finish the scan. "Wait, where's Arin?"

After a pause, Zane concludes. "First, I detect traces of some kind of dragon poison on Lloyd. It is not in my database, but the best course of action would be to take him back to the monastery so I can further examine him." He thinks for a moment. "Aside from that, perhaps Arin ran off?"

"He's probably fine. Let's take Lloyd back to the monastery," Kai agrees. 

They go back to the dragons, and Kai notices another dragon flying towards them. "Is that Riyu? And Arin?"

Riyu lands in the grass by the other dragons, with Sora, holding tightly holding onto Arin while they both have water dripping off of their clothes.

“And Sora! Do none of our students stay behind when they're injured?"  Kai exclaims, throwing his hands to the back of his head in shock.

"What happened to Lloyd?" Sora asks, visibly shivering.

Zane opens his mouth to begin a long explanation, but Kai beats him to it.

"What didn't happen to him?" Kai groans. He glances at Arin. "What happened to Arin?"

Sora grimaces. "Almost drowned."

"In that case, I have to check for water in his lungs," Zane frowns. "Thank you, Sora."

"Well. Let's go back to the monastery," Kai turns to Lloyd, who can't hear him, but he adds it quietly anyway, "boogers."