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"Come on, Prompto, we can't be hauling your ass out of trouble every time we go on a hunt," Gladio growls. He's less mad about Prompto not pulling his weight than he is about the interaction he'd had with Noct when Noct rescued him. Less so Prompto's flirty so this is what it feels like being saved by a prince than Noct's go back to sleep, beauty in reply. Why Noct seems to favor Prompto out of the three of them Gladio simply can't understand.
"Maybe if you hadn't signed us up for a hunt that's way too hard for us I wouldn't have had any trouble!"
"He's not wrong," Ignis says, glaring at the both of them, "but it's still the case that we had to use far too many curatives on you, Prompto."
"Because we spent all our money on ingredients so you can cook your fancy meals instead of on curatives! Maybe you guys need to learn how to eat on the cheap like us commoners." Prompto crosses his arms, his own glare nearly as piercing as Ignis's.
He has a point, though. Ignis spends far too much money on fancy ingredients, because he's always trying to cook up something to impress Noct. Even worse, sometimes it works.
"Guys!" Noct yells. "What the hell is up with you lately? I swear you guys have been fighting more and more every single day, and I'm sick of dealing with it."
The three of them all stare at him, cowed. When Noct pulls out his authoritative voice it's hard to ignore (and it's also sexy as hell, though Gladio's never said that out loud). Noct shakes his head and steps up the first step to the caravan. "I'm going to bed. Don't come in until you've figured your shit out."
With that, he stomps into the caravan and slams the door shut, leaving Gladio, Ignis, and Prompto staring after him.
"Maybe I should go talk to him," Prompto says.
"You spent like an hour talking to him on that motel roof last night." Gladio doesn't like to think about how happy Prompto looked when he came back down. They probably weren't making out up there, but what if they were?
"Honestly, Prompto, must you monopolize Noct's time so much?" Ignis adds.
"Hey, we're friends! I'm being friendly!"
"Seems a little more than friendly to me," Gladio grumbles.
"Yeah, well what do you call it when you drag him off fishing without the rest of us?" Prompto shoots back.
"Noct loves fishing! And besides, Iggy's the one who takes him out stargazing in the middle of the night."
"Noctis and I have enjoyed observing the stars since we were children, Gladio," Ignis says archly.
Prompto flings himself into one of the chairs outside the caravan. Gladio follows suit, and Ignis joins them eventually. "This is stupid," Prompto says. "It's not my fault that Noct is nice to me sometimes, just like it's not Gladio's fault that Noct likes fishing, or Ignis's fault that Noct likes stargazing."
"You're right," Ignis says with a sigh. "It's counterproductive for us to be fighting about this. How are we supposed to support and protect Noct if we're fighting amongst ourselves? Now he's just angry with all of us, and that's not what any of us wants."
Gladio drags a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe if he was a little less fuckable we wouldn't be in this mess."
Prompto chokes on a laugh; Gladio pounds him on the back. "Honestly, Gladio," Ignis chides him.
"Listen, I hate confrontation, but maybe we need to just actually talk to Noct," Prompto says when he recovers. "Just, tell him how we feel, and let him pick who he wants or let us all down easy."
It's a good idea, and Gladio says so. "We all want Noct, but if we really care about him we'll let him have who he wants and not put up a fight about it."
"It would be easier to let go if I knew Noct didn't have any interest in me," Ignis agrees. "Very well. Shall we?"
"What, now?!" Prompto yelps.
"No time like the present," Gladio says, slapping him on the back as he gets up.
They file into the caravan and find Noct laying in bed playing on his phone. He looks up at them with raised eyebrows. "That was quick. You done fighting? I didn't even have time to go to sleep."
Ignis clears his throat. "Yes, well. We, ah. We're sorry about the way we've been acting, and we wanted to--"
"What Iggy means is that we all have this thing, right? Like, uh."
Gladio rolls his eyes at both of them. "We all want you," he says bluntly. "And we'll stop fighting about it if you pick who you want or just tell us all you're not interested."
Ignis sighs and drops his head into his hands; Prompto's jaw snaps shut and his eyes go wide.
Noct just stares at him, then slowly sits up. "You-- what?"
"We all wanna date you, buddy," Prompto admits.
"Ignis?" Noct asks, eyes wide, turning to Ignis. Noct looks surprised, which honestly isn't what Gladio was expecting. Surely he must've known? It's not like any of them were being particularly subtle.
"Yes, well. I will not apologize for my feelings, though if you don't return them, I shall endeavor to put it from my mind."
"Gladio??"
Gladio shrugs. "It's not like you don't know you're hot shit."
Noct turns back to Prompto and his face softens a little. It sends a jealous little spark through Gladio's chest; as much as he wants Noct for himself, Prompto's always been the only one of them whose company Noct chose, rather than having it forced on him.
"You… you guys really--? You want me? Is that even allowed?" His gaze swings to Ignis again.
Ignis adjusts his glasses. "Well. You're the king, now. What's allowed is whatever you want it to be. If your heart lies with Lady Lunafreya, far be it from us to prevent you from--"
"Shut up. Just, just shut up." Noctis shakes his head. "I can't-- I can't believe you guys. You've been fighting over me?!"
Nobody has much of anything to say to that, because it's just the truth. "Sorry?" Prompto offers.
"Do you have any idea-- you all--" Noctis stands up, gesturing wildly. "I have been sitting here every single day absolutely dying having to watch Gladio prance around without his shirt and Ignis doing backflips and Prompto lighting up like the sun every time we call our chocobos and you're telling me I can have you??"
Gladio frowns. That doesn't sound like a decision at all. "Wait, so do you want one of us?"
"I want all of you!" Noct says, a little hysterically. "I can't believe you're so jealous. Can you share?"
Ignis clears his throat. "Let me make sure I understand you correctly," he says. "Are you saying that you would be interested in dating all three of us? At the same time?"
"Hell yeah I would," Noct says vehemently. Goddamn, he looks so good like that, his eyes hot and intense like he's already imagining them naked.
"I can share," Gladio says, taking a step closer.
Prompto grins. "Me too!"
"I suppose we already share your time and attention," Ignis agrees.
"Great," Noct says, then grabs Gladio and pulls him down into a thorough kiss.
Yeah, Gladio thinks as Noct releases him and starts kissing Prompto instead, he can definitely share.