Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

One of the perks of the title Ultimate Cook is the privilege of cooking food for people of all statuses. A good meal improves the consumer's mood and influences the conversation. Depending on the quality and dish served on the table, Hanamura Teruteru can obtain various information from his customers.

The chef can't outright ask for juicy gossip, usually letting his patrons lower their guard and nonchalantly forget his existence. Consistency of service, quality of goods, and trustworthy character cement the bond between the cook and clients. Their tongue almost always slips and disclose sensitive data. One such Intel involves his classmate's future after graduation.

A few months from now, Teruteru will graduate with the rest of his classmates from Hope's Peak Academy. Slowly gathering allies, Teruteru has a concrete plan to achieve his dream of expanding his business. He managed to obtain protection from the Ultimate Yakuza boss; got loyal customers such as the Ultimate Gambler, Ultimate Gymnast, Ultimate Imposter, Ultimate Manager, and Ultimate Swimmer; obtained unconventional colleagues who share his hobbies like the Ultimate Inventor and Ultimate Confectioner; and even a group to hang out to do class reunions and other fun activities.

Teruteru usually upholds his customers' secrets, but the parties involved would affect a friend he cherished. Therefore, Teruteru has one answer to solve the dilemma.

[CLASS 77-B]

Yukizome Chisa: @everyone Please don't get drunk this time.

Sonia: You can count on us, sensei!

Chiaki: o7

Hiyoko: fineeee

Ryota: never again

Mikan: hehe

Ibuki: How are you so cuteee?!

Mikan: W-what? I'm not!

Hiyoko: Why are you stuttering in text again?

Ibuki: It's no biggie, Hiyoko-chan!

Hiyoko: But what's the point? It's stupid.

Mikan: Please forgive me!!!

Hiyoko: Stop apologizing and start doing it!

Mahiru: Don't fight, you two.

Hiyoko: I didn't even

Hiyoko: Sorry big sis. :(

Kazuichi: it might be good alcohol...

Fuyuhiko: Find someone else to drink with

Kazuichi: But it was an accident!

Fuyuhiko: Accident my ass

Yukizome Chisa: Language.

Fuyuhiko: Sorry, sensei.

Nekomaru: As long as we all drink in moderation, we'll be fine!

Akane: If there's food, count me in!

Nagito: I'm happy to see everyone brimming with so much hope.

Hanamura Teruteru added Hinata Hajime to the group.

Teruteru: @Kamukura Izuru plans to live with @Hinata Hajime after graduation. What does @everyone think?

Hinata Hajime: Huh?

Gundham: Have you finally obtained a familiar, fiend?

Hinata Hajime: No. I don't have time and space.

Gundham: At least this human understands his limitations.

Teruteru: Why not? :(

Hinata Hajime: Again. Not enough space.

Hinata Hajime: Nanami and Soda already asked to live with me during the Christmas party.

Gundham: I see. You've chosen a different path of sorcery.

Hinata Hajime: I

Teruteru: :0

Hinata Hajime: It was mutual!

Gundham: ...

Teruteru: ...

Hinata Hajime: Am I digging my grave again?

Gundham: A habit of yours.

Hinata Hajime: Damn it.

Teruteru: Why not live with @Komaeda Nagito?

Hinata Hajime: Nanami suggested that too, but Soda keeps getting hit with Komaeda's bad luck.

Teruteru: @Kamukura Izuru plans to live with @Hinata Hajime after graduation. What does @everyone think?

Nagito replied to this message: Why?

Nekomaru: Why aren't you people sleeping?

Hinata Hajime: Exams.

Teruteru: Don't worry! I'm heading back to the dorms right now.

Nekomaru: Take a power nap.

Teruteru: Can't promise that.

Chiaki: bc hajime best waifu

Hinata Hajime: You are a bad influence.

Nekomaru: Go back to sleep!

Chiaki: need to grind

Gundham: After the necessary sacrifice to appease my Four Dark Devas of Destruction.

Hinata Hajime: @Komaeda Nagito You have space in your house? Can you house Kamukura instead?

Nagito: I have a mansion. Everyone is free to live with me.

Teruteru: Smooth~

Hinata Hajime: @Kamukura Izuru. I'm sorry, but please live with Komaeda instead.

Komaeda Nagito set Hinata Hajime's nickname to Hajime.

Nagito: @Hanamura Teruteru When did you learn this?

Teruteru: An hour ago. Anyways, expect some people to visit you @Hinata Hajime

Chiaki: I hope they approach him with boss music.

Kazuichi: Multiple boss music

Nekomaru: You guys...

Nagito: I have a bad feeling about this.

Nekomaru: You might as well exercise those muscles!

Ryota: suddenly so tired

Chiaki: I have dailies :(

Hajime: Still waiting for the guards to unlock the library.

Natsumi: Excuse me?

Hajime: You're here?

Sato: That's studying to the extreme!

Hajime: Sato too?

Hajime: Am I the last one to get added to this GC?

Sato: I'll call security.

Natsumi: It's called connections.

Hajime: I don't feel special anymore.

Hajime: Hanamura is my only friend.

Chiaki: nooooo

Chiaki: didnt want to bother u

Chiaki: dont be sad u special to me

Kazuichi: You aren't very techy, man. You'd rather study than chat

Hajime: Excuses!

Chiaki: hajimeee Q-Q

Nagito: I don't think we should be chatting about this in the official GC, everyone.

Teruteru: We'll graduate soon so we're fine. <3

Hajime: Talking with you guys is making me hungry.

Hinata Hajime: @Kamukura Izuru. I'm sorry, but please live with Komaeda instead.

Izuru replied to this message: No.

Hajime: Come on!

Sato: Speak of the devil.

Teruteru: I'll send you food right away.

Hajime: Thanks

Izuru: No need to waste effort @Hanamura Teruteru

Nagito: o-o

Chiaki: >:0

Teruteru: Oh?

Sonia: Morning everyone! ^_^

Gundham: The day is still young.

Hajime: Never mind then @Hanamura Teruteru

Kazuichi: HOW ARE YOU GUYS SO CHILL NIDAI IS RUNNING AFTER US

Hajime: Kamukura made me bento.

Natsumi: @Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko Why don't you make @Pekoyama Peko bento?

Fuyuhiko: Shut up!

Mikan: What's happening?

Akane: When are you gonna cook, Hanamura?

Teruteru: Already on it, love. *Wink*

Hiyoko: Gross!

Nagito: I still want to know what happened, Hanamura-kun.

Teruteru: Principal Jin suggested Kamukura-kun to explore the world.

Chiaki: All the more he should go with Komaeda-kun.

Akane: Kamukura can join me work with coach!

Mahiru: He can come with us too. We plan on having a world tour.

Hiyoko: I guess we can...

Ibuki: That's the spirit!

Hiyoko: We need an errand boy.

Ibuki: Too much spirit! x-x

Sonia: Kamukura-san can also visit my kingdom if he pleases.

Fuyuhiko: If he wants, he can stay at my place.

Teruteru: Kamukura-kun, the Ultimate Harem maker!

Mahiru: please focus on cooking

Ibuki: Izuru-chan is getting all the hoes!

Byakuya?: but why choose Hinata?

Chiaki: waifu

Natsumi: pity

Ibuki: chest size!

Sato: spite?

Izuru: a boring topic.

Mahiru: Don't change the topic.

Hajime: Kamukura proposed to me.

Nagito: You're bluffing.

Yukizome Chisa: What is going on here?!

Mahiru: asdfghjlkl

Hajime: It's either I take him as a roommate or as a lover

Sato: Mahiru?!

Chiaki: gasp

Natsumi: BS!

Hajime: Do lovers live together?

Natsumi: How are you smart and dumb at the same time?

Hiyoko: What was that?!

Peko: Nidai is relentless!

Izuru: Not necessarily.

Chiaki: Kamukura nooooo

Ibuki: Nekomaru-chan is taking everyone! XD

Hajime: I am choosing the lesser evil

Fuyuhiko: Fuck! He's coming this way!

Nagito: I will support your decision, Hinata-kun.

Hajime: I'm changing my relationship status

Nagito: Except that!

Hajime: My apartment only has two beds.

Sonia: I wish to hear more of this trope!

Mikan: (⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)

Chiaki: aaaaaaaa

Hajime: I can't let him sleep with Nanami.

Teruteru: I look away but you've reeled me back in, Hajime!

Nagito: Don't change the context, Hanamura.

Natsumi: WHY IS HE CHASING ME I'M NOT EVEN AN ULTIMATE

Byakuya?: One of us

Hajime: @Nanami Chiaki @Soda Kazuichi check pm

Nagito: What did you say to him, @Kamukura Izuru?

Izuru: The mechanic sleeps on the rug.

Yukizome Chisa: @everyone Please refrain from using this chat for intimate conversations

Teruteru: @Hinata Hajime Don't forget about me

Hajime: I'll pm you.

Chapter Text

After cooking the breakfast options in the Main Course building, Teruteru left the distribution management to the staff and ventured to his next destination.

His routine began last school year when a series of mysterious murder incidents led to a fierce conflict between the departments. The Ultimate Cook didn't want to be a part of the situation. Still, a friendly reserve course student, Hinata Hajime, convinced him to use his skills and alleviate the injustice felt by the Reserve Course department. Using his connections within the admin and the support of the brunet, Teruteru started a catering service on the ground floor of the Western District and worked on the new venue to showcase his talent.

The first months were unpleasant with all the ungrateful customers, but no one can ignore good food! Once the students had a taste of his cooking, no other food could ever satisfy their palate. Well, Teruteru is certainly no match for the power of love, like Chiaki choosing Hajime's cooking of omurice over his own.

Now that the topic is back to the studious brunet, Teruteru told Hajime to meet him by the kitchen. Hajime agreed but arrived right after Teruteru prepared the food. No amount of apologies should be sufficient to waste his time until Teruteru noticed a specific item worn by his trusting friend-

[CLASS 77-B]

Yukizome Chisa: @Hanamura Teruteru I know you have an excuse to skip the first class, but please try to get back on time.

Hanamura Teruteru shared a file.

Teruteru: @Kamukura Izuru Why did you trick my boi?!

Izuru: He accepted my proposal.

Teruteru: Yeah, and he's not the brightest crayon in the box.

Hajime: Hey!

Teruteru: In romance!

Hajime: ...

Teruteru: Without me, he would've charmed our entire class by accident.

Byakuya?: I can see that happening.

Hajime: what

Chiaki: ye

Nekomaru: A natural-born leader.

Hajime: Don't lie.

Ryota: You do show protagonist attributes

Hajime: That's in the realm of fantasy!

Chiaki: but it's true!

Mikan: Is Hinata-san blushing?

Teruteru: He is.

Mikan: hehe

Ibuki: SO CUTE!

Hiyoko: Take a photo for Mahiru-nee!

Hajime: I'M NOT

Chiaki: That's what a liar would say!

Teruteru: I did my best.

Hajime: Are you helping me or sabotaging me?!

Gundham: You must yield, fiend. You have lost this battle.

Kazuichi: @Tanaka Gundham Don't hit my soul friend that way, man.

Hajime: Why are you all ganging up on me?!

Ibuki: Because Hajime-chan is fun to tease~

Gundham: The Supreme Overlord of Ice speaks only the truth!

Kazuichi: @Hinata Hajime Hanamura ain't wrong. All the guys here ain't straight anymore.

Hajime: Betrayal!

Kazuichi: But I swear I'm bisexual!

Gundham: ...

Hajime: ...

Ryota: Too much info.

Teruteru: Sure, hon.

Byakuya?: Never escaped denial, huh?

Kazuichi: Stop doubting me! I'm mostly straight! Sonia-san will always be in my heart!

Mahiru: First thing I read is a pathetic man on the verge of incel.

Chiaki: He wouldn't, I think?

Hajime: Don't worry. I won't let him fall in that route.

Kazuichi: This is why we're soul friends!

Hiyoko: You should really find better friends, Haji-nii.

Hajime: I'm trying.

Mahiru: Stop wasting time and return to class, Hanamura.

Teruteru: Hinata-kun needs me!

Izuru: With?

Hajime: It's probably a misunderstanding.

Izuru: Which part?

Teruteru: You gave this sweet summer child a ring!

Hajime: It's the wrong ring, right?

Izuru: Que sera, sera.

Hajime: I was hoping for a black-or-white answer.

Mikan: Kamukura-san caught the blackboard eraser?!

Ryota: As much as I like reading the chat, don't you guys have class?

Byakuya?: We are.

Izuru: @Hinata Hajime check pm.

Fuyuhiko: I was wondering why you guys were staring at your phones.

Teruteru: >:0

Hajime: Maybe later? I'm currently with Hanamura.

Ryota: And people wonder why I ship you two.

Chiaki: asdfghjkl

Peko: I believe the teacher will leave soon if this keeps going.

Chiaki: Stop!

Chiaki: EVERYTHING

Chiaki: Pay attention

Chiaki: No shipping the waifu!

Chiaki: @Kamukura Izuru Calling you out.

Kazuichi: So what if Kamukura gave a Hope's Peak ring? Isn't that a friendship tradition or something?

Hajime: It's an expensive version of Hope's Peak Ring.

Chiaki: fr?

Fuyuhiko: @Reserve Course NPCs Don't you have a class?

Hajime: Oh. The picture isn't in GIF form.

Sato: Hajime seduced our teachers.

Hajime: That's not what I did!

Peko: You're starting to look dangerous, Hinata.

Sato: What's wrong with giving your friend a Hope's Peak ring? I gave Mahiru one a semester back.

Sonia: aw

Hajime: @Hanamura Teruteru When you're done talking with the detectives, send the picture again.

Peko: Detectives?

Natsumi: Our Department gave a condition that anyone who aced the Midterm exams can skip class next sem.

Hajime: I wasn't the only one who aced the exams.

Chiaki: but that sounds amazing

Chiaki: good job ^_^

Hanamura Teruteru shared a file.

Teruteru: No wonder you guys didn't side with me.

Hajime: That's probably what a promise ring looks like, right?

Teruteru: Don't you dare side with this goofball about this thing being a promise ring.

Sonia: It's a lovely ring.

Nanami: ...

Nagito: I fortunately managed to open my phone, everyone!

Nagito: But why is Hanamura-kun showing a concealed engagement ring?

Hajime: engagement?

Izuru: Are we not in a relationship?

Teruteru: What do you think a promise is gonna be?

Sonia: *gasp*

Nagito: Isn't that going too fast, Kamukura-kun?!

Hajime: I thought it was another promise!

Teruteru: Oh, sure and he tripped to land on one knee!

Chiaki: Kamukura! (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

Kazuichi: DUDE WHAT

Gundham: A contract forged between two races!

Natsumi: F class! I'm reading this shit!

Kazuichi: A diamond too?!

Byakuya?: @Mitarai Ryota It's happening!

Kazuichi: @Kamukura Izuru You were supposed to stay single and make me feel better!

Izuru: Boring.

Hajime: ...

Teruteru: You still have me. ;)

Kazuichi: NOOOO

Ryota: I'M BACK

Mahiru: @everyone GUYS! Can't you wait for thirty more minutes?!

Hajime: Can you tell your teacher that we're under custody at the moment? Hanamura reported the bodies in the freezer and we're each other's alibi.

Teruteru: ^

Nagito: Is it someone we know?

Teruteru: Average joes to me.

Teruteru: Though, I did hear the victims are a couple of staff members supposedly working on the other side of the building.

Hajime: Tsumiki will be seeing the autopsy reports after lunch.

Natsumi: Incoming class suspension...?

Fuyuhiko: Doubt.

Peko: They'll cover the incident like any other.

Sato: I wish they did. I want to spend more time with Mahiru.

Nagito: Another murder...

Sonia: Let's try to stay positive, okay?

Chiaki: I notified sensei.

Akane: Does that mean you won't cook lunch?!

Teruteru: Not on my watch!

Natsumi: Let me know if you need help. I still have some smoke bombs from December.

Sato: It's a miracle that you didn't get kicked out.

Hajime: Can you tell your teacher that we're under custody at the moment? Hanamura reported the bodies in the freezer and we're each other's alibi.

Yukizome Chisa replied to this message: I'm coming over there right now!

Chiaki: Maybe we can get Hajime to sit in our class?

Hajime: Where will I sit, though?

Hiyoko: You can stand.

Mahiru: Get another chair, of course.

Izuru: You may sit beside me.

Teruteru: Why I never!

Chiaki: >:O

Kazuichi: No way. Hinata's gonna sit with me.

Nagito: Kamukura-kun is joking.

Nagito: @Kamukura Izuru You're joking, right?

Hajime: No, I will not sit on you.

Nagito: ...

Hiyoko: Ew.

Kazuichi: DUDE

Hajime: Wrong chat.

Izuru: No one will care.

Chiaki: I care ಥ_ಥ

Izuru: Except for one.

Nekomaru: Komaeda just fell on his knees.

Izuru: Two.

Kazuichi: I CARE

Izuru: Two and a tank of petroleum.

Peko: Two people are on the ground.

Hajime: Hey! Nanami is still our friend.

Izuru: Apologies @Nanami Chiaki.

Fuyuhiko: What about Komaeda?

Hajime: I think Komaeda will be asking for an apology from me rather than Izuru.

Mikan: Aren't you forgetting about Souda-san?

Hajime: He'll live.

Ryota: @Hinata Hajime When did you start calling him Izuru?! I need details.

Chiaki: !!!

Hajime: It's complicated.

Chiaki: but but ༼ಢ_ಢ༽

Izuru: Confidential.

Hajime: I already told Hanamura.

Izuru: No one else.

Kazuichi: BUT

Teruteru: Trust me. You wouldn't know what to do if you heard the story, Souda-kun.

Byakuya?: Don't be surprised if Mitarai makes an animated short.

Sonia: YESSS!

Mahiru: And the teacher walked out.

Sonia: I have always craved to see Japan's taboo culture!

Kazuichi: Sonia-san?!

Teruteru: Best if you sit with me. @Hinata Hajime

Ibuki: Ibuki still thinks Yuri is the best!

Fuyuhiko: Seriously?

Fuyuhiko: First we talked about that in our chat two days ago, and now it's in the main chat?

Natsumi: It always comes full circle.

Hajime: Please don't add me in another chat.

Ibuki: How are we going to contact you outside school?!

Hajime: Ever heard of private messaging?

Mahiru: I don't think it's a good idea to add him.

Sato: I agree with Mahiru.

Hajime: In any case, you can contact me through Souda and Nanami.

Natsumi: Wait a minute. What if Kamukura got the idea of proposing to you because of the pics we sent?

Hajime: Burning bridges before the end of the year, huh?

Natsumi: As if you can get rid of me.

Sato: It's not that bad.

Mahiru: No. It's pretty bad. I know. Trust me on this one.

Hajime: Also Izuru if I have a sleepover with him.

Mahiru: No. It's pretty bad. I know. Trust me on this one.

Hajime replied to this message: I'm tempted now.

Chiaki: sleepover?

Hajime: His new place is really convenient.

Chiaki: will you leave him if i say i love you?

Hajime: Nanami. It's not what you think!

Izuru: He doesn't mind being bottom.

Chiaki: ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Peko: Komaeda is now slamming his fist to the ground after checking his phone.

Hajime: ???

Kazuichi: Bro.

Hajime: What?

Hajime: You prefer being the bottom too.

Sonia: I see.

Byakuya?: I understand why Kamukura asked you of all people.

Hajime: I thought we already established the reason?

Ryota: Clearly, a protag.

Mahiru: I'm starting to worry for you, Hinata.

Kazuichi: BED! I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BED, NOT SEX!

Hajime: Ah.

Kazuichi: I'M NO BOTTOM

Ibuki: Screams bottom to me. XP

Kazuichi: Come on guys!

Chiaki: Hajime don't leave us (つ﹏<。)

Teruteru: For our friend's safety, I'm confiscating his phone.

Chapter Text

"It's only until the adults get off his back..." Hajime tried to reason with the suspicious chef, recently released by security to go on their merry way. They decided to head to the new school building, mostly for Teruteru's sake rather than his own. Hajime wanted to return to the library to find a hobby or course that would cement his future since he could still shift courses during university. "Then again, you're right that I'll be blindsided when the agreement ends. How does one realize they are free from scrutiny? Hope's Peak Academy is very possessive over their Ultimate Hope."

"Exactly, which makes no sense why you agreed to be in a fake relationship in the first place," Teruteru remembered almost chopping his fingers when listening to Hajime's story, seeing the gift possess a particular shine. Taking a picture of the same, Teruteru broke Yukizome-sensei's rule and demanded Izuru to explain his side of the story. "I've seen my fair share of matchups and breakdowns from my clients, and let me tell you. Love isn't something you can control."

"Not like I'm saying you can't fix him, but Kamukura-kun is a mighty piece of work. A large block of ice that needs a delicate and steady hand," Keeping in touch with the current romance trend in novels, Teruteru is confident Hajime will encounter a ton of obstacles. The worst part there was that the roadblocks would develop the relationship to breach friendly terms half of the time. "If you somehow, by some miracle, get him to fall, he'll never recover from the crash. No one forgets first love."

"You look so highly on me, Hanamura." Hajime didn't seem to notice the oddity of the entire situation, much less mind carrying the unique bento boxes Teruteru found in the warehouses in the reserve course warehouses. Sometimes, Teruteru wonders if Hajime belongs in high society because of the way Hajime carries himself. "I doubt the embodiment of hope will fall in love with a predictable nobody. I think his type to be Enoshima, Komaeda, Kaede... Naegi? Who else is unpredictable? Mioda..."

"Don't sell yourself short, hun. Remember, that prickly head of yours charmed both sexes while you were with Nanami-san. I'm not even surprised if you stimulated a rock this time around," Teruteru dragged a cart thrice his size, bringing some Tupperware and a couple of traditional recipe books of interest. Teruteru saw some old books kept at the storage place, finding it strange for these items to be locked in a freezer. "Ha~ How tragic. You and Komaeda-kun have the same problem, but the quality of your meats are grades apart!"

"Are you grading the quality of life or quality of the body because I'm pretty sure I'm the perfect average in both set-ups? Wait. Is this because Komaeda and I have weird fan bases in school? It's that, isn't it?" Hajime is overthinking like always. This is why Teruteru can't leave Hajime alone, his friend in dire need of common sense and love advice-

"..." Teruteru had to take a step back in his understanding, realizing he was too immersed in Hajime's narrative.   They agree not disagree that the Ultimate Hope picked Hajime as the safest option.  However, what if logic was supported with an ounce of attachment? Last year, rumors spread that Kamukura Izuru visited the reserve course to meet a special person, and Hajime had to have known everyone in the department. "You... What's your thing with Kamukura-kun?"

"Relation? We became friends because of Nanami. I'm not the type to cheat and I abide by the cool-down period. Rebounds are known to hurt others for the sake of satisfying one party, so I focused on my studies." Hajime answered in a very detailed manner, distancing himself from that particular period. Hajime said he was fine after he and Chiaki broke up, but Teruteru wasn't lying about his first love. No one understood why the two fell apart because Hajime and Chiaki still had that pull to care for one another. Heck. They're even going to live together after graduation.

'Ok. I guess Nanami-san realizing she's asexual is a problem, but her pushing Hinata-kun away is a terrible move.' Teruteru accidentally stumbled across the entire scene while checking inventory, being the one to drag the stunned Hajime out of the rain. The cook was just as surprised as Hajime when Chiaki broke the news, and Teruteru knew better not to take advantage of heartbroken people.

'But wasn't Nanami-san part of the Komahina group chat last year? What if she turned into a Komahina fan?!' Teruteru never thought deeply about his classmate's actions, thinking they were just like him. To be exact, they were living their high school lives to the fullest without worrying about the repercussions.

"Hanamura. Don't forget the conversations we have about proper behavior," Hajime reminded me like the mindreader he was, being the only one to reach out and put him in his place. Hajime could be a scary teacher when he wants to be, and Teruteru learned no amount of good food or smooth talking could get the brunette to tolerate his behavior. Hajime smiled once Teruteru broke into a cold sweat. "You'll need to maintain your appearance to bring back traumatized customers."

"Yes, mada- I mean, Hinata-kun," Teruteru has mixed feelings about Hajime when he goes all authoritative. This must be what all the reserve course students felt when Hajime wandered the halls. 'I guess Komaeda-kun would bottom for Hinata-kun?'

"Is it alright if I talk to Matsuda for a while?" Hajime asked, catching sight of the Ultimate Neurologist pinching the cheeks of a female.

"Alright. Don't take too long," Teruteru continued moving to his destination, not that curious over Hajime's relationship with Matsuda Yasuke. 'Now that I think about it, my classmates all have some sort of health issue. I should innovate healthy food to cater to those with deficits.'

...

 
"Matsuda!" Hajime grabbed the collar of his colleague, having reached an epiphany to explain his childhood friend's decision. "Why did you fail to notify me of a particular side effect of this procedure?!"

"Prototypes lack studies to document real-life effects, you moron!" Yasuke grabbed the wrist of the annoyed brunette, but Hajime had more strength than this barely washed associate.

"Do you know this person, Yasuke?" Enoshima Junko, who was now Otonashi Ryoko, hugged a notebook in her hand as she watched the two teenagers.

"Begrudgingly," Yasuke grunted when Hajime finally let go, adjusting his shirt. "Head over to the infirmary. I'll head there shortly after I deal with this prick."

"Let me guess, you have a scalpel to stab me. I'm so scared. Please spare me..." Hajime droned, holding his hands in the air to feign fear. The Ultimate Analyst tilted her head in a rather cute way, but Yasuke started shoving her to the school. Hajime watched the neurologist deal with his childhood friend before returning to his side.

"I know you're aware of what I'm talking about," Hajime crossed his arms, looking to the side. "This is why I suggested we temporarily mute all senses tied to their analytical ability. People with high cognitive function will obviously fill the gaps with any trace of potential recollection."

"At the risk of permanently damaging their mental faculties? I'm pretty sure I made the right choice," Yasuke pointed once more to the constant issue of the memory-alteration procedure, being quite adamant on the moral dilemma of erasing memories and such. "Stop worrying. We'll simply create new memories to prevent a psychotic break and a partial memory recovery in five years. It's not that difficult."

"That's a great idea had Izuru not proposed to the entire Steering Committee and head admin that he'd live with me?! I even learned he proposed to me in a romantic sense," Hajime dropped his arms to place his hands on his hips, glaring at the stunned neurologist. "Don't you fucking laugh."

"I mean..." Yasuke gave him a look. "You are bisexual."

"Oh, fuck you!" Hajime flailed his hands. "What the hell am I supposed to do? My entire life is built on developing and cultivating talent. If he becomes obsessed with me, he'll remember the past, and the rest of high society will wreck my existence beyond recognition."

"At least you aren't stuck searching and dealing with half-baked plans to cancel this godforsaken school," Yasuke spent most of his days actually out of his office to play 4D-chess with the support of Ikusaba Mukuro. Hajime did convince a certain Lucky student to befriend the Ultimate Soldier. "You have something to work on. I'm starting from scratch. In any case, we dug our graves so we are finishing this."