Archive of Our Own

One: Thanksgiving

They're fighting.

It's not unusual, and it certainly isn't rare, because they're both stubborn and hardheaded with a refusal to compromise. Their fights are usually over something stupid, like which one was faster, which one was smarter, or whose turn it was to make the bed.

This one was worse because it didn't end with someone giving in or an agreement to just sit down and watch television. It ended with Shadow walking out and not coming back.

Sonic was sat around the dinner table with his friends, several heaping plates of food and treats surrounding him, but he couldn't bring himself to even so much as look at it. He wasn't hungry, and he certainly wasn't in the mood to think about anything other than the fact that his stupid boyfriend had walked out on him.

He assumed that's what they were, anyway. It's not like either of them had ever confirmed it.

They were both way too proud to officially ask.

Amy had really went all out, getting little plates adorned with turkeys and brightly colored napkins to use, as well as baking half of the desserts from scratch. Sonic had been instructed to bring the drinks since he couldn't do much else, and she had instructed Shadow to cook the mashed potatoes since he was fond of those on the holiday. Shadow had left the mashed potatoes behind when he had walked out, so Sonic had to carry both the drinks and the pot over to her house.

Tails and Knuckles could tell that something was up, so they kept trying to offer him every food on the table, even going as far as to say that they could whip up some chili dogs without Amy knowing. She hated the smell, and she also declared that it wasn't a Thanksgiving food, so they had been banned from the table, but Tails had claimed to know a guy.

Sonic refused all of their offers, which he knew furthered the idea that something was wrong with him, but he didn't have it in him to care.

Amy had been glaring at him since he had walked in the door, which was yet another reason why he couldn't find it in himself to perk up. He had said hello to her and even offered to set the table, but she had given him a simple 'hmph' in return.

Every time the door so much as creaked, Sonic held his breath in hopes that the one person he wanted to be at the table would walk in.

Tough luck.

"Sonic, do you want to play corn hole?" Tails asked him, interrupting his miserable train of thought.

"...Nah, buddy, I'm okay. I'm feelin' a bit tired. Maybe another time?" Sonic offered.

He didn't like the way Tails's face fell, because it reminded him too much of the way everybody else had been looking at him that day, but he offered him a small smile anyway.

"You know, you should really get up and play the game, Sonic. It's not Tails's fault that you make messes," Amy said from the corner.

That caught Sonic off guard, because he was not expecting her to say anything to him at all.

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

"Uh oh! Sounds like someone's in the dog house," Knuckles stated as he shoved another bite of turkey into his mouth.

"What's he mean?" Tails asked, ears perking up.

The little squirt certainly did have an ear for drama.

"Nothing. Nobody means anything," Sonic said quickly, shooting a look at Amy.

She looked up from her phone and shot him another glare, then proceeded to look down and type something furiously. Sonic felt almost inclined to check his watch to see if the text had been sent to him, but when he didn't feel a buzz, he assumed it had been to someone else.

However, everyone Amy was friends with was in the room.

That could only mean...

"Hey, Amy!" Sonic said suddenly. "If we're going to air out dirty laundry, would you care to do it outside?"

"Dog house!" Knuckles repeated around a mouthful of Shadow's stupid potatoes.

"I would love that, Sonic, thank you very much!" Amy said with a sneer.

Sonic sped away to the back of Amy's house and waited for her to meet him there. Her stupid normal pace walking caused her to take what felt like forever. Sonic just wanted to know what she could possibly have to say to Shadow and not to him.

His fault for forgetting how close they were, he guessed.

"What do you want to air out," Amy said as she rounded the corner.

"Why are you texting my...," he paused. He had never actually said that one out loud. "Why are you texting Shadow?"

"Because he's my friend? You don't get to decide who he's friends with, Sonic."

"No, but you're texting him about me."

"Uh, conceited much?"

"You keep looking at me and then furiously typing! I could have sworn you even took a picture of me!"

"Because I think you're an idiot! He tried to express how he felt to you, and you completely brushed him off!"

Sonic considered this, because that's not at all how he remembered it happening in his head. It had started because of one cracked dish from the drying rack and evolved into an entire shouting match about feelings. Shadow had said something about they never even woke up together anymore, and Sonic had countered that with the fact that they didn't even live together, and for some reason, that one comment sent Shadow off.

"No?" Sonic finally said.

"You're an idiot. An actual idiot. Beyond saving."

"Why? Because Shadow walked out on me? Because I don't know why Shadow walked out on me? Because he didn't tell me?"

"He did tell you! You just don't listen! You're not fit to be in a relationship. At all. You shouldn't have led him on like that."

"Led him on like what?" Sonic asked, exasperation evident in his voice.

He was over this. He was over being scolded by Amy, and he was over not knowing what was going on. All he wanted to do was to go home and eat chili dogs with the television on mute. He didn't even care if the dark and brooding presence he had made himself comfortable with had an arm around him during it or not, he just wanted to leave and never talk to anybody again.

"If you don't know what you did, I'm not going to tell you. This is absurd, Sonic. Save your relationship while you still can," Amy said, tossing her hands up.

Sonic proceeded to watch her roll her eyes and turn around to walk back to the front of the house. His breathing felt shaky in a way that it hadn't felt in a long time, and he had the urge to hit something.

He groaned before running home.

Shadow wasn't the only one who could walk out of places.

Two: Christmas

Sonic was surprised to be invited back to Amy's for Christmas after the stunt he pulled on the last holiday.

He figured the reason he had been invited, though, wasn't because anybody even liked his presence or wanted him to be around to exchange gifts. He figured out quickly that the only reason why Amy had even invited him to the festivities at all was to make him miserable.

Shadow was there. He was sitting down in his favorite chair of Amy's before Sonic had even walked through the door.

They hadn't really been on speaking terms since Shadow walked out. It was a small area, so they saw each other around a bit, and at the end of the day, Shadow had walked out of his own house.

It was just the principle of the thing, the fact that he had even left during a fight at all, that caused Sonic's skin to crawl.

Sonic would be lying if he said that he hadn't tried to go back to Shadow's home after the incident. It was just embarrassing to admit that the door had been locked when he arrived.

Him and Amy had made up even though he had really hurt her feelings by leaving her party early, but he figured that she wasn't the type to hold it against him or try and get revenge.

Clearly, he was wrong.

Shadow's gaze had found his as soon as he walked through the door, and as much as he tried to pretend it wasn't happening, the eye contact was making his stomach hurt with a want he hadn't felt in a bit.

"Sonic, do you think we could play corn hole now?" Tails had asked earnestly, interrupting the staring contest that they were having.

"Yeah, buddy, let's go play corn hole," Sonic responded, not breaking eye contact with Shadow.

"Oh, good, you boys go have fun. Shadow, come help me with dinner," Amy said, dragging Shadow by the hand to the kitchen.

Wow, she really was evil. What an unsubtle way to tell someone that they were about to be talked about.

He decided to play corn hole against Tails for however long it took for Amy and Shadow to stop talking about him. Knuckles cheered them on from the couch, booing when Sonic scored any points, which just furthered the idea that everybody there hated him.

Besides Tails, obviously.

Even though he did end up beating him at corn hole, and not by a little.

"Ugh. You stink," Sonic said.

"You just need to calculate the logistics of the bean bag going into the hole. It's not that hard once you realize that the diameter of the circle is actually half the circumference of the-"

"Dude! Not on Christmas!" Knuckles shouted.

"I'm kind of with him, that speech was making my brain feel crampy."

"Crampy isn't a word!" Tails shouted.

"Is now, dude," Knuckles declared.

"You guys are no fun," Tails said, which meant that he was accepting defeat.

Sonic decided that it was time to go get himself a soda. He put down the stupid mathematical beanbag and walked to the kitchen, hoping that maybe the conversation that had clearly been about him was over.

He didn't know what they could have been talking about. Sonic hadn't done anything besides walk into a party that he had been invited to. He hadn't even so much as said hello to Shadow.

Oh. That's probably what they were talking about, then.

Well, the conversation was certainly over. He knew that because Amy was nowhere to be found, which meant that she had probably moved on to setting up the photo area for the stupid polaroid pictures that she made them take every year.

Shadow, however, was apparently in charge of stirring the boiling pot of pasta.

He was also conveniently in front of the refrigerator.

"Hey, uh, do you wanna move? Promised the little guy I'd get him some nog."

Shadow continued to watch the pot very intently.

"Dude, I just want to get a drink," Sonic tried again.

No answer.

"Shadow, come on. I want a soda."

Sonic felt helpless, because he had one of two options. He could either just abandon the drinks entirely, or he could try and physically move Shadow. He had a clue on how the second one would end, which would probably be a fistfight, and he was so starved for Shadow's touch that he just about considered it.

"Go ahead," Shadow said suddenly, stepping away from the pot and the fridge.

"That easy?" Sonic responded before he could stop it.

Before he could even outstretch his arm to the refrigerator door, he was being slammed forward against it.

There he is. Sonic thought happily.

"Do not test me," Shadow mumbled behind him.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Make it hard for you to walk tomorrow."

"Woah, dude. Kinky."

"Not what I meant," Shadow growled, another thoughtful shove accompanying the words.

"From where I'm, uh, standing," Sonic started, waving a hand to acknowledge their position, "It doesn't seem like you can really do anything about it."

"You underestimate me. This is not a hard position to break your jaw from."

"Hard, huh? You tend to walk out when things get hard."

"You're the one who walks out all the time," Shadow whispered harshly.

"I don't. I was there for all of it."

"You're lying."

"Am I? Because last I checked, you're the one who officially ended it."

"Oh, poor baby. I couldn't tell you what's official or what's not."

"Let me go," Sonic stated.

"Bite me."

"I taught you that."

"Fine," Shadow said suddenly, releasing him way less harshly than Sonic thought he was going to.

Sonic brushed himself off, adjusting his gloves and bandana in the process, before he turned around to throw a punch at Shadow's nose. Shadow backed up upon the contact, and it was only when he raised his hand to feel at the spot that he had hit when Sonic noticed the blood that was dripping out of his mouth.

One. Two. Three. The blood dripped onto Amy's floor, and if Sonic had the peace of mind in the moment, he would have cleaned it up so that way she didn't see it and freak out.

Shadow licked the remaining blood off of his lip.

"Enjoy your soda."

He left the room before Sonic could say or do anything else. He was still staring at the blood that had fallen from Shadow's mouth, and he didn't know whether to feel bad or ask if they were back together after what had just occurred.

"What happened!?" Amy's voice cried.

"Festivities," Sonic stated without looking up.

"Sonic, I swear, if you made him cry again-"

That caused Sonic to look up with a start.

"Cry again? What do you mean, cry again?"

"Nothing! That's irrelevant. You two couldn't keep it together for Christmas!?"

"He started it," Sonic said lamely.

"God. I'm going to find Shadow, you're in charge of stirring the pasta."

Sonic did not know how to stir pasta. He never did any of the cooking in his relationship, rather just sit and watch and taste test when asked.

He took the spoon and started stirring the stupid noodles around, and he definitely did not think about Shadow crying as he did so.

Three: New Years

Sonic did not know why he kept assuming that Shadow was going to show up.

That was just pathetic. What did he expect, a kiss at midnight? He hadn't earned that, according to Shadow.

According to Shadow, none of what they had was real at all.

"Sonic, get your punch ready, it's about to be twelve!" Knuckles cheered.

Sonic raised his hand lazily to show him that he already had a cup of punch. He had several, actually, because none of his friends could find reasons to talk to him that didn't involve Shadow. The best they could come up with was just refilling his drink cup every twenty minutes.

They were good friends. Too bad he was too busy moping to appreciate it.

Shadow officially ending it was not what he wanted to happen after Christmas. It had been a week of Sonic trying to understand why it was that they were even fighting in the first place, why Shadow had walked out in the first place, and if Shadow even still cared at all.

They had two talks after Christmas. One was the day after, when Sonic had asked Shadow if Santa had been good to him, and the other was when everything came crumbling down.

He was stupid if he thought there could be a chance that Shadow would let him back in.

According to Shadow, Sonic didn't come home enough. He wasn't committed enough. He didn't even so much as love him enough.

Sonic wasn't aware that they shared a home. Sonic wasn't even aware that they were officially together, because Shadow had never asked him or alluded to the fact that he wanted to be asked. As far as Sonic was concerned, this was just how it was going to be for the rest of their lives until they were tired of running circles around each other and settled down on a farm.

Shadow could have his stupid guinea pigs that he's always wanted, and Sonic could sleep until two in the afternoon.

It would be paradise.

Sonic felt like the rug had been pulled out from under him, because Shadow had never made any mention of feeling this way before. He liked to think that he knew Shadow better than anybody else in the world, even if he knew deep down that he would always come second to Maria, who got to know a part of Shadow that he never could. It made him jealous, almost, and weirdly possessive to think that Maria would carry that part of Shadow with her in her grave. He knew that their relationship had been something Shadow treasured above anything else, because at the end of the day Maria Robotnik really was his only family, but Sonic wanted to be let in, too.

They were just too different. That is what Sonic settled on once they had stopped yelling at each other. They were too different to ever make it work, and Shadow was going to refuse to let Sonic into his innermost thoughts for the rest of forever, and Sonic was too proud to beg him to let the walls down.

Sonic and Shadow would have destroyed each other. They could never have been more than just acquaintances. No matter how many times they saved each others lives or swooped in just when the other needed it, they would have to stop keeping score. None of it mattered. What they could have potentially had was over and done with.

"Sonic, are you ready to countdown?" Amy asked him.

No, he wasn't. He shook his head to prove that point to her, too. He was over it. It was a countdown to a new life that he didn't want. Shadow was no longer going to be in it, and that was something he was going to have to learn to live with.

He didn't know why it even mattered so much to him. Shadow was right, he couldn't commit. He couldn't settle down because there was nothing to settle down for.

They only showed each other half of their lives. The ugly, gory parts were saved for each other, and the mundane activities were saved for everybody else. Maybe they were unhealthy from the start.

Maybe they should have never met at all.

The thought hit Sonic like a punch to the stomach, and he noticed that all his friends were whooping and cheering, meaning that the new year had arrived.

Sonic was so mad that he could spit.

Why had Shadow been brought into his life in the first place? Why was this something that had been brought upon him if it was not going to work out in the end? Shadow had been nothing but a shooting star, brief and gorgeous, but ultimately made to crash down and burn out.

Yet, Sonic still wondered if Shadow was thinking of him.

The thought was so pathetic that he wanted to die.

"You need to get over him."

Sonic looked up. The room had cleared out, and all of his friends were walking away toward their homes. Amy stood in front of him with her arms crossed and a worried expression on her face.

"I don't know what you mean."

"This is exactly why you two can't work it out."

"Why do you somehow have a way of butting into my business every holiday?"

"It's not my fault you guys have fought for the past three holidays that happen to be extremely close to each other. And for the record, I'm not butting in just for you. I want you both to be happy. It's annoying seeing you both all mopey and sad."

"Tell me why it is that Shadow tells you his deepest darkest feelings," Sonic sighed.

"Well, did you ever ask?"

"We've had conversations."

"Sonic, did you ever ask him?" she repeated.

"What am I supposed to say, Amy? 'Hey, Shadow, care to tell me every horrible thought that's ever run through your head'? You don't know how he operates!" he proceeded to sigh at the look she gave him. "Okay, maybe you do. But not in the same setting I do. So, no, I've never asked. I thought if he really wanted me to know, he'd offer it up. I just didn't even think he did that kind of stuff anymore. Not since...not after...," he trailed off, because it was stupid to be jealous of a past he wasn't part of.

"...Do you wanna stay at my place tonight?" Amy asked tentatively.

"Would he throw a fit?"

"He can't control who I'm friends with, Sonic."

Yeah, Sonic could have probably cried right there. Who knew he would have been thankful for Amy butting in.

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Sonic began to walk in the direction of Amy's house, because despite the fact that he felt like he could fall asleep sitting up, he still thought it would be polite to walk with her instead of run ahead. After all, she didn't have to let him stay there.

"Wait," he said suddenly.

"Yeah?"

Sonic stopped walking. "He's not, like, there, is he?"

"No, you idiot."

"Oh. So...where is he?"

"I'm not doing this."

"Doing what?" Sonic pressed.

"Telling you this."

"So, you do know?"

"Of course I do. I'm just not telling you."

"Amy!" he whined

"No! Ask him yourself if you care so bad."

"No fair," he pouted.

"Plenty fair," Amy stated.

"Alright, fine. No more talking about him. I promise."

"Thank you."

It didn't mean Sonic wasn't allowed to think about him, though. He never promised that.

A pair of red eyes and a bloody lip are exactly what he fell asleep to that night.

Four: Valentine's Day

Love didn't even matter. Who even was Shadow? Things were great without him. He loved spending 'bro time' with Tails and Knuckles. Maybe he would even pick up a new hobby.

Was it obvious that the affirmations weren't working? Because they weren't.

He hated seeing the stupid stores start to sell heart-shaped cards and chocolates. He hated not having anyone to buy them for, either. Everything was so brightly colored and pretty in a way that he just did not care for. The colors hurt his eyes, and the false sweetness that everybody presented themselves with made him want to gag.

The entire holiday was just a reminder of what had walked out on him that one faithful day in November.

He decided that he was going to spend February 14th with Knuckles and Tails.They wouldn't do anything to make him miserable. In fact, it was going to be such a fun time that they were going to go watch monster trucks and then get burgers after. That was a bonding experience that he would never forget. He would not think of Shadow once during the entire thing.

Except for the fact that he very clearly saw him walking into Amy's house.

He wasn't a stalker. He wasn't. It just so happened that he had been looking out Tails's window to see if Knuckles had shown up, when he saw a very familiar face walking into the house across from them.

Why was Shadow spending Valentine's Day with Amy? Sonic didn't know.

Now, he knew that one thing was for sure, and that was the fact that there was nothing romantic going on there. At least, he hoped there wasn't. As much as he wanted Amy to find someone special, he did not want it to be his someone special. It would be total dirty pool if Shadow had just completely moved on like that with one of Sonic's own friends.

Could Amy even be considered one of his friends? Sonic wasn't sure. At the end of the day, Shadow may have won her in the divorce. Sure, Amy was always nice to him and he had known her first, but the two of them had always been close. After all, Amy had been the one to introduce Shadow to pretty clothes and fancy skincare. She had also introduced Shadow to the horrid pop music he played around the house, with his favorite being some girl who wouldn't stop singing about her coffee.

She had also invited Shadow over several times to freak out about some live recording of a tour they hadn't been able to go to. Sonic had been bored to death waiting for Shadow to come home that night, and he had erupted into a fit of laughter when Shadow finally did come home with glitter and bracelet beads stuck in his quills.

Moral of the story was that they were close. They had been close since they met. Amy allowed Shadow to express some part of himself that he hadn't been able to for so long with his whole purpose being 'evil weapon' and all that. He had fun with Amy, and that had always made Sonic happy.

Except for right now. Right now, it was not making Sonic happy at all. It was making his stomach sting with all kinds of bad feelings that he had never felt before.

"What are you creepily staring at?" Tails asked from his computer.

"Nothing," Sonic answered.

"It has to be something. I've been talking to you for three minutes with no answer."

"Oh, sorry, buddy. Just thought I saw someone robbing Amy's house, is all."

"In broad daylight?"

"Hey, you never know," Sonic said.

"Pretty sure she said she's just having Shadow over."

Ugh. It had been planned. Sonic was considering faking a headache and just going home. It's not like Tails would know why, because he was blissfully unaware of the tragedy that was Sonic's love life. He didn't want to involve Tails like that, because even if him and Shadow had never really gotten along, he was still little. Tails was smart with a lot of things, but picking up on which of his friends were romantically interested in each other was not one of them.

"Oh, yeah, must have been him," Sonic sighed.

"Probably. Do you know where Knuckles is?"

"No. Have you heard from him?"

Tails shook his head, and there was a brief moment where Sonic hoped maybe Knuckles had just forgotten about it so that they could just call the whole thing off.

Yeah, some luck. There was a knock at the door immediately after that thought.

"You ready to get your monster truck on!?" Knuckles cheered upon entering.

"Sonic needs it. He's been staring out the window aimlessly all morning," Tails said.

Sonic just gave them both a thumbs up, because he didn't really have anything else to say. He knew that neither Tails or Knuckles would be suspicious of him staring at Amy's house, because Tails had no idea what was going on in the first place, and Knuckles seemed to think that Sonic liked Amy.

He didn't. He liked Shadow. He guessed that he really had been a bad boyfriend if that was unclear.

Monster trucks and burgers had been a fun activity, and it had even worked as a distraction for half the night. The monster truck that the three of them favored had won, which led them to declare that they should go get celebratory milkshakes after the celebratory burgers. Sonic had fun with this, because eating and being with one's friends were always a good cure to heart sickness.

After the burgers and milkshakes, they decided to go rock skipping, because apparently Knuckles was really good at that. The park area that they had went to was all lit up for the holiday, and several couples were taking strolls around the heart shaped pathway, and it was only then that the blissful distraction of a boy's day had worn off.

Sonic lost count of how many rocks they skipped in total. He was supposed to be keeping track to see who did the most, but he found himself unable to focus. Months ago, when him and Shadow were still together, he never would have assumed that Shadow would have wanted to take an evening stroll around the lake with him. He never thought that he himself would have wanted it to happen.

He had learned a lot about himself since losing Shadow, as it seemed.

When Sonic had announced that he was tired and wanted to go back to Tails's place, his friends had just looked at each other and shrugged, muttering something about how he's been 'tired a lot these days.' Sonic didn't know if that was true, but if it was, he had to get better at pretending.

Once they arrived back at the sleepover location, they put on an action movie and started to doze off on the couch. Sonic thought it was funny how Tails started to lean forward in his sleep while Knuckles remained completely still. Tails rarely slept a full nine hours because he was too busy being a super computer, so Sonic wanted to make it as comfortable as he could for him.

He dashed over to the window to shut off the light so that there were no distractions for either of his friends. Before he could click it off, he glanced across to Amy's house one more time, and he noticed that someone was standing right at the window.

Sonic would be a fool not to recognize that someone.

They locked eyes.

His hand didn't move on the lamp string. The familiar stranger blinked at him.

Sonic felt like his entire being was on fire, because Shadow was right there and alive and looked warm with sleep. He had some sort of pink clip by his ear, and his eyes looked brighter than he had seen them in a while. Sonic felt sick with emotion because everything he had tried to push down that day was bubbling back up.

He wanted to hug him, feel his breathing, place his palm over his heart and leave it there, just touch him in any way that he would be allowed to.

But he couldn't have it.

Sonic had been feeling helpless a lot recently. He wanted to click the lamp off and go to sleep so he could stop for a bit.

He was just about to. He had his hand ready to pull down on the lamp string, when he saw Shadow shuffle around a bit and then raise his hand to him.

It was only a slight wave, but it was a wave nonetheless.

Sonic raised his hand back.

The window at Amy's house went dark. Shadow had clicked off the light.

Sonic proceeded to stand there with his heart pounding and his eyes tearing.

He clicked off the light before running out the door. His breath felt like it was made of bricks, and his heart was hammering so hard against his ribs that it hurt.

A run would surely clear his head.

He hoped that he hadn't woken Tails up as the door slammed behind him.

Five: Sonic's Birthday

His friends were all about celebrations.

Sonic sat around at his surprise party, tearing open the gifts that they threw his way, laughing and exclaiming loudly at each one of them. He had received a lot of useful and cool things from his friends. They always knew just what to get him, even if he never asked them to get him anything at all.

Amy had gifted him with a scrapbook of all their best memories together, and Tails and Knuckles had contributed some photos to it as well. Sonic flipped through the pages with excitement, making note of some of the inside jokes that had been created due to the specific occasions. The four of them laughed until their stomachs hurt at the memories, because the passage of time really could heal all if it wanted to.

There were blank spots for more pictures at the end, and Amy explained that she would help Sonic put in more pictures as time went on. Sonic had pushed the book aside and hugged her tightly, because he loved having people who cared about him, and he loved being reminded that they hadn't walked out on him.

The four of them ate cake and sang the birthday song so loudly that they were sure the neighbors would complain. Everything felt magical and fun and alive in a way that it hadn't for so long.

Tails and Knuckles were thrilled when Sonic set up corn hole, and Amy kept giving him these looks of admiration from the corner of the room. Sonic was proud of himself for allowing himself to have fun at his own birthday party, and he kept smiling from ear to ear whenever he was reminded of just how much he loved his friends.

Unfortunately for him, the life was sucked out of the room as soon as they left his shack.

They had stayed until there were only three hours of his birthday left. Amy was getting tired, Knuckles wanted to go play video games, and Tails had a project he was working on. He had pulled them each into crushing hugs as they left, which was out of character for the newer version of him, but his friends reciprocated nonetheless.

Once the door had closed on their departure, Sonic's heart sunk into the bottomless pit that had been there since November. Seven months later, and it had no intention of closing. It just continued to get bigger.

It's not like him and Shadow had ever made birthdays a big deal. It was just a silly celebration where they would exchange gifts and then watch a marathon of movies. It wasn't like his birthday held any sort of special connection or meaning in terms of Shadow at all.

He just was used to being held after the festivities were over.

Pathetic.

Sonic sat down on his couch and decided to flip through the scrapbook Amy had given him. He knew that it was intentional that a certain someone was missing from it. There were certain pictures in there that Shadow had very obviously been cut out of, and Sonic knew Amy well enough to know that it had upset her to have to do that. She had always been supportive of the two of them, and Shadow was her best friend, so the scrapbook was suddenly just making Sonic secondhand sad.

Everything felt empty again. There were ups and downs. This one was a down.

He figured he would just take a run before calling it a night. Tails had always agreed with him that the best way to clear his head was by going outside. Sonic loved the night air, especially when the twinkling lights by the lake turned on, because then everything felt alive yet again.

Sonic put the scrapbook down and bolted to the door. He wouldn't be back late tonight, his favorite movie was going to be on television a half hour before the end of his birthday.

He opened the door of his shack and was met with a gust of wind and the face of someone he hadn't seen since a brief encounter at a window.

Sonic's mouth dropped open. Shadow stared at him.

"Hi," Sonic said first.

"Hello."

Shadow remained still, so Sonic did the same. He didn't know what to do. He had been thinking about what he would say if he just got the chance to speak to Shadow one more time. It had been fleeting thoughts, dreams even, because at the end of the day, he didn't think he was ever going to get this chance again.

"I don't know what to say," Sonic admitted, because there was no reason to try and hide anything at that point.

It was just Shadow. It was the same guy he had known in just about every way possible.

Except for the ways that mattered, apparently. Hence why they had even gotten into this mess in the first place.

"I know."

"Why are you here?"

Shadow looked at him from under his eyelashes. Sonic couldn't stop staring.

"I got you this."

"Got me what?"

"This," Shadow repeated, raising his hand a bit so that Sonic saw what he was talking about.

There was a small red box with a golden ribbon on it in his palm. Sonic almost asked why he was bringing him presents, because upon Shadow's arrival, nothing else mattered except for the fact that he was there. Sonic proceeded to just stare at the box, because he didn't know if Shadow wanted him to take it or if he wanted to hand it to him. Every decision and small movement suddenly counted. Sonic didn't want to mess it up so bad that Shadow left again.

"Thank you."

"Well, are you going to open it?"

"Now?"

"Well, when else would you?"

Sonic stared at the box, and he finally reached his hand up to grab it from Shadow's palm. The tips of his fingers lightly brushed against Shadow's wrist as he did so, and he felt like he was going to explode. It was ridiculous, it wasn't like they had never been that close before, but suddenly everything felt ten times more electric than it ever had.

This is what he had been missing for so long.

"Do you want to come in?" Sonic finally asked.

"I suppose."

Shadow followed Sonic to the couch of his shack, and Sonic felt so dazed that he completely forgot to close the door. Shadow gave him a look as he closed the door himself, and Sonic knew that the narrowed eyes and upturned mouth were all characteristics of one of his teasing glances.

He was wordlessly calling Sonic stupid on his own birthday.

Sonic did not have it in himself to insult him back at that moment. He was too afraid of scaring him off.

"Um, you missed the party. I'm sure Amy told you about it."

Shadow nodded. "She did. She figured it was better if I didn't come."

Did you want to come? Sonic didn't say. He simply nodded and took a seat, the red box still perched carefully between his hands.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Are you ever going to open your present?" Shadow countered.

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I will."

"You don't have to be scared. It's not one of the Doctor's inventions."

Sonic scoffed. "I didn't know if you'd be mad enough to do that."

"No," Shadow said, and he looked amused.

Sonic carefully untied the neat bow that was on the box. Shadow was great at wrapping presents, a gift that Sonic had never possessed, but one he could appreciate nonetheless. He held his breath as he lifted the red lid off, and he felt ridiculous for the nausea that settled in his throat as he opened his eyes to peak inside.

He was met with polaroid pictures. Several polaroid pictures stacked on top of each other, to be exact.

Sonic removed the first one carefully, holding it only by the tips of his fingers as he examined it. It was a photo of him, Shadow, Amy, and Tails outside of his shack. Amy was making a funny face at the camera, and Tails's eyes were closed. Sonic was grinning from ear to ear with his arm thrown around Shadow, whose mouth was slightly upturned. The date was scribbled in Shadow's neat handwriting on the bottom.

He removed the next one from the box, and it was a picture that Sonic had never seen before. Him and Tails were gathered around the television, video game controllers in hand, both adorning the same focused expression. In the very corner of the photo, there was a blurry spot that looked like Shadow's thumb, indicating who had taken the photo. Sonic remembered that day, but he had been unaware that it was special enough to capture with Amy's camera.

The next photo was one of him and Shadow that he also hadn't been aware of. It was the two of them sitting on Amy's couch, blanket thrown across their laps, legs intertwined. Shadow was holding two mugs full of what appeared to be hot chocolate, while Sonic's arms were thrown up in a way that indicated he was talking about something. Shadow's expression was nothing but pure admiration as he watched Sonic talk, and Sonic's heart swelled as he ran his finger over it.

The fourth photo was one from the same day, as it was on the same couch with the same blanket. Sonic was holding the camera up and sticking his tongue out, and his other hand pointed to a sleeping Shadow whose head was in his lap. There were two hearts drawn in red and blue marker on the bottom where the date had been in the last few.

The last photo in the box had been one that Sonic didn't remember and had never seen, because he hadn't been there to be apart of it. The picture was faded at the edges, and the white portion was starting to turn to a yellowish brown, but the picture was still vibrant and intact. It was a picture of Shadow and a little girl, one who Sonic knew only from vague stories. Maria had her arm around Shadow, and her face was covered in rainbow stickers. She was beaming, and Shadow was too, and Sonic noticed that some of the stickers were on Shadow's face as well.

Sonic carefully put the pictures back onto the table in front of him. There were too many emotions for him to think about. He couldn't process anything other than the fact that Shadow had given him a gift full of sentiment and value, something that touched on both his past and his present, the very things that Sonic felt that he had never shared with him before.

It felt like an apology and a promise all at once. Sonic could throw up. Or cry. Maybe both. Possibly something else altogether.

When Sonic finally looked up, he was met with Shadow just staring at him.

"That never isn't creepy," he said finally.

"It's for your scrapbook. That Amy gave you. With the open spaces."

"You want me to put you in my scrapbook?"

"...If you'll have me there, I suppose."

Sonic didn't know what the right answer was, and he had never been great at speaking about his feelings, so he barreled forward and hugged Shadow tighter than he had hugged anyone in a long time.

Shadow hugged back immediately, burying his face in Sonic's quills, leaving small kisses behind his ears in his wake. Sonic felt pathetic and stupid for shaking, but he was over feeling hopeless and sad, so he just let himself have it.

"Don't walk out again. Don't do that," Sonic whispered harshly.

"Don't not come home again. My nerves can't take it," Shadow responded.

"I just thought that I-" Sonic had to take a breath, because he was completely overwhelmed. "I don't know what I thought. I was starting to think none of it was real."

"It was real. We just never acknowledged that it was real."

"I think we should."

"Yes. Duh," Shadow responded.

"I taught you that," Sonic squeaked.

"Yes. You did," Shadow said back, and Sonic could feel his mouth turn into a smile.

"Stay. Stay here, sleep on the couch or the floor if you don't want to deal with me in bed, just don't walk out again."

"I'll stay in bed if you stay in bed," Shadow countered, and yeah, Sonic deserved that.

"I'm sorry. I won't...I'll try, okay? I get antsy. I'll try."

"So take me with you," Shadow said, and Sonic could cry.

"Yes. Yes, if you want to, if you'll come, just don't go."

"I won't."

Sonic lifted his face then, and shoved it into Shadow's to clumsily kiss him. He was smiling too much for it to be anything other than teeth and gums, but it was still their first in forever regardless. Shadow kissed back, or at least tried to, and Sonic couldn't help but crack up laughing at the absurdity of the entire situation.

"Amy says you've been miserable," Shadow said after Sonic pulled away.

"She's tattling on me to you?"

"Yes. Of course."

Sonic flat out giggled. "She's terrible. She's terrible, and you're annoying, and I hate both of you. Don't ever leave again. My shack is cold, and you can hear every cricket imaginable at night, but I'll build you a big house with blue shutters if you really want me to."

"You'd give up before you got to the insulation. We can just go to my house."

"Forever?"

"If you'd so desire."

Sonic beamed again, because yeah, he was gonna be a committed man now. He was going to have a house, a boyfriend, and friends. All of these things were going to be official, and he was going to love every second of it.

"I don't think I want to move tonight," Sonic said.

"I'll put on your movie."

When Shadow began to move away from the embrace, Sonic made sure he was holding onto his hand so that he could go with him. Shadow gave him a look like he was being ridiculous, and even if Sonic knew that he was, he had no intentions of letting go. He followed close behind Shadow as he turned on the television and then went back to the couch.

He sat down and dragged Sonic down with him. Sonic immediately nudged his way under Shadow's arm, and he huffed a laugh when Shadow sighed. He put his ear right to his chest to hear his heart, and he sighed contently when Shadow reached his hand down to tangle in his quills.

"Happy Birthday, Sonic," Shadow said then.

Sonic smiled into his chest. He turned his head to glance at the photos on the table, making a mental note to put them all in his scrapbook after him and Shadow made up for lost time.

Maria's young face beamed at him from her photo. Sonic smiled back at her, too.

+1: Shadow's Birthday

Sonic didn't live in a shack anymore, and he was starting to really love the idea of having guinea pigs. What had Shadow turned him into?

They had talked. A lot. The two of them sat down and aired out everything that should have been aired out the first time around. They reached conclusions and made compromises with each other that would ultimately help them out in the long run.

The two of them would be lying if they said that they did it on their own, though. Sonic and Shadow settled debates with races most of the time, but according to Amy, communication was the better approach. She had sat them down and made them talk to each other as she mediated.

Sonic made her promise not to pick a side. Surprisingly, she listened, and remained unbiased as she gave them couples therapy.

Shadow started telling more stories of Maria after that. It had been hard for him at first, but Sonic had sat with him and silently nodded to show that he was listening through all of them. He was just happy that Shadow was talking to him at all.

Sonic held up his end of the compromise, and he would go on runs before bed. If he was seriously antsy and needed to get out, he'd make sure to either wake Shadow or leave him a note. Shadow appreciated the notes, and Sonic knew this because he started saving all of them in a not-so-secret folder.

Everything was somehow better than it had been before. Sonic felt like, in a way, this was always how the two of them were meant to be.

When Shadow's birthday had rolled around, Sonic didn't know how he was meant to top what Shadow had done for him. He was competitive, above all else, and he wanted to find something that would be perfect for Shadow and showed that he really knew him, even after all of this time.

He settled on asking Amy to help make him a scrapbook. However, it wasn't just any scrapbook. It was a scrapbook for Shadow's past, present, and future. There were pictures of him and Maria in the beginning, him with his friends in the middle, and then empty spaces at the end. It was something that was meaningful to them while still being a perfect gift for a birthday.

Sonic told Shadow he needed to go on a run to grab one more thing. Shadow had stared at him skeptically before turning on his stupid music and telling him to go.

When Sonic arrived home with a bouquet of wildflowers and scrapbook in hand, Shadow had simply raised his eyebrows.

"Hiya, gorgeous. Fancy meeting you here," Sonic beamed.

"I live here," Shadow said.

"You're no fun."

"You're terrible at pick up lines."

"Aren't you going to ask who the flowers are for?"

Shadow sighed. "Who are the flowers for."

"You, stupid, it's your birthday. Getting senile already?"

Shadow rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch. Sonic dashed over to the couch as well, thrusting the scrapbook and flowers into his hands.

"Happy Birthday," he said gleefully.

"Thank you."

Shadow put both of the items onto the table in front of them before he could even so much as look at them.

"Hey, wha-" Sonic was interrupted when he was suddenly being pulled into a hug.

Shadow held him there tightly, nudging himself under Sonic's arm so that they would be completely tangled together. Sonic didn't protest, because he was not one to refuse holding Shadow, and he put his face close to Shadow's so that their noses touched.

"What's all this?" Sonic asked.

"Birthday. I want it to be quiet."

"But I worked so hard on your gift!"

"Later?" Shadow asked earnestly.

Sonic wasn't one to refuse Shadow. Not today, anyway. He was still stubborn, but he'd let Shadow have it since it was his day.

"Okay. Later."

Shadow curled in closer to Sonic, rubbing the side of his head against his shoulder, and Sonic let out a content sigh. If this was what forever looked like, he certainly wasn't going to complain.

When Sonic whispered three simple words into Shadow's fur for the first time out loud, Shadow said them back with zero hesitation.