Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Elphaba’s first impression is, against her best judgment, that Galinda Upland (of the Upper Uplands!) is really quite pretty. 

When all the other students gasp and back away, leaving Elphaba stranded in the middle of a circle she’s never been able to close, it’s Galinda who steps forward. Galinda who gapes at her, eyes wide wide wide as they rake over her face.

Elphaba gathers herself, shoulders tight as she prepares to give her usual little speech, sure that this conventionally pretty, clearly popular, petite-framed, pink-wearing, perfectly-styled blonde is about to make some sort of nasty remark. 

What happens next is something Elphaba couldn’t have made up if she tried. 

“Hi,” Galinda whispers, her soft voice impossibly loud in Elphaba’s ears as she steps right up in front of the girl.

“Um,” Elphaba starts, thrown off balance by the way Galinda’s looking at her. Not like she’s something disgusting or even something intriguing. But like she’s something wonderful. “Hi.”

“I’m Gli- uh, Galinda,” the blonde introduces. “Galinda Upland.”

There is some sort of unreadable emotion swimming through the shimmering depths of this girl’s brown eyes, something Elphaba could drown in if given the chance. She has to visibly shake herself and take the offered hand carefully in her own. Galinda doesn’t even flinch at the touch of green skin. 

“Elphaba Thropp.”

The students are starting to whisper amongst themselves, clearly just as confused as Elphaba. Galinda doesn’t even seem to notice. She just smiles, the force of it etching a single dimple into her cheek and leaving her eyes sparkling bright. 

Pretty, Elphaba thinks. It shocks her, how easily it comes to her, but there’s really no other word for it. No one, in all her life, has ever looked at Elphaba like Galinda is right now. No one, in all her life, has ever looked this happy to see her. 

“Welcome to Shiz University, Elphaba Thropp. I have a feeling we’re going to be very good friends.”

***

The next half-hour passes in a bit of a blur. She doesn’t mean to make a spectacle- she never does. But there’s an eerie shocked silence that fills the courtyard for a second, just a brief second, after Nessrose’s chair settles to a halt.

Elphaba can feel her pulse racing, guilt and shame twisting in her gut, when--

“Wow,” comes a breathy, sweet voice. It grows louder, capturing the attention of everyone there. “That was incredible!”

It’s that girl. That same blonde girl. Galinda Upland. 

She’s standing in the middle of the destruction, gazing at Elphaba with wide brown eyes and a dazzling smile. “Why, Miss Elphaba! What a talent! Did you see that, everyone? Did you see how amazing that was?”

Confused murmurs grow as the students whisper amongst themselves, just as baffled as Elphaba is by the show. Who is this girl? And what in Oz is she up to?

Galinda sticks out her leg and giggles, tossing her hair behind her back. The other students are drawn to her like a moth to a flame, and even Elphaba finds herself inexplicably wanting to move closer. 

“I’ll have you know,” Galinda is saying, the students somehow hanging on every word despite the fear and disgust Elphaba had seen on their faces just moments ago. “I have always loved sorcery. In fact, that’s why I chose Shiz! It has the best sorcery department in all of Oz.”

The students nod like little puppets, brightening with eager, happy energy the closer they get to Galinda, like she’s some sort of magic all her own. “Like Madame Morrible!” someone calls out.

And- it’s so tiny. A barely noticeable hitch in the girl’s breath, a tiny tightening of her shoulders and flattening of her lips. If Elphaba hadn’t been studying Galinda so closely, hadn’t been so enthralled by the show, she likely would’ve missed it.

“Yes,” Galinda says smoothly. “Exactly. Madame Morrible is one of the best. But- Miss Elphaba! You were simply astoundifying! Why, I bet you could be the star student of Shiz with that kind of power!”

It’s incredible. It’s ridiculous. It’s impossible.  Yet here Galinda stands, effortlessly weaving a narrative that makes Elphaba, of all people, seem like someone to be admired. The students still seem a little confused, a little apprehensive, but they are willing to follow Galinda’s lead. Just like that. 

Who is this girl?!

Elphaba would almost believe her, too, if only she didn’t see how clearly fake it all was. Her eyes narrow, taking in the strained edge of Galinda’s smile, the swirling emotions in her eyes. Her face is nearly unreadable, but there’s a tension to her that speaks of someone putting on a last-minute performance. Something isn’t right here, and Elphaba’s read enough books to know: never trust the popular girl when they appear to do something nice. 

“You are quite right,” a new voice breaks in. The crowd parts to let Madame Morrible herself walk through, her eyes locked on Elphaba. She tilts her head just slightly Galinda’s way. “Miss…”

“Galinda.”

“Miss Galinda.”

There’s definitely no mistaking the tightness of Galinda’s smile now. Elphaba finds herself frowning as the blonde makes several steps her direction, turning awkwardly to keep herself facing Morrible even as she backs closer to Elphaba. 

A spark of recognition flicks through Morrible’s eyes. “Galinda Upland, is it?”

“Yes, Madame.”

Galinda is practically in front of Elphaba now, one hand out behind her back slightly like she wants to shove Elphaba away. Like she wants to keep Morrible’s attention all on her. 

Madame Morrible finally gives it, turning her eyes to Galinda for a moment. “I saw you requested to join my sorcery seminar this year,” she says. She has this stiff smile on her face, lacking the genuine awe and warmth that was aimed Elphaba’s way just moments ago. 

“I…yes, I did.”

So that’s her game. 

“Well, dearie, I’m sorry to say that class has been filled. And it’s really only for… exceptional students, anyway.”

There’s a gleam in Morrible’s eyes when looks back at Elphaba, and Elphaba can see Galinda lean away slightly. Well. Elphaba knew the girl’s actions were too good to be true. Those popular types- they were only ever looking out for themselves. 

Brushing past the outstretched hand with deliberate force, Elphaba steps around the petite blonde to meet Morrible head on, a bubbly sense of victory filling her when she sees the warmth return to the sorceress’s expression. 

For the first time in her life, someone is choosing Elphaba. Maybe her curse is finally doing something right. 

“Elphaba,” she introduces again. 

“Miss Elphaba.”

No one has ever smiled at Elphaba like that. Well, no one except--

And there she is again, sliding right in between Elphaba and Morrible again. 

“I’ll volunteer!” she says, practically before Morrible can even finish asking. 

It’s too late, Elphaba thinks, rolling her eyes behind the blonde’s back. I know your angle. 

Elphaba may have fallen for the charm earlier, may have almost given in to that strange energy pulling everyone toward her, but she’s smarter than that. She knows better. 

So, despite the way Galinda seems to reach for her, try to stop her, Elphaba follows after Madame Morrible. Besides, it seems she’ll be seeing plenty of Galinda now that they are apparently roommates. A pang of apprehension shoots through Elphaba as she walks away, a weird prickle on the back of her neck making her want to turn back around.

She shakes it off, instead focusing on the grounding weight of Morrible’s hand against her back, leading her toward a future she never dared to hope for. The roommate situation will be fine. After all, she has this Galinda girl all figured out. She can play her at her own game if need be. 

Elphaba has always been so very good at games. 

Chapter Text

By the time Elphaba makes it to her new room a couple of hours later, still breathless and smiling from the impossibly good day she’s been having, it seems Galinda has already more than made herself comfortable. Half of the suite is utterly covered in custom pink luggage, some of them bigger than the blonde herself. 

“Hi!” Galinda greets, also somewhat breathless, though that may be from the effort of moving in. She tumbles to a halt right in front of Elphaba, almost too close, with a frantic, buzzing energy and frazzled look in her eyes that makes Elphaba wonder just what exactly she’s gotten herself into with this new roommate of hers. 

“You’re back!”

Elphaba raises a single eyebrow. “I was never here. In the first place.”

“R-right, I mean- I didn’t, um, like back from…from wherever you were…before. That wasn’t here.”

This is the same girl who flawlessly enthralled the crowd in the courtyard? This one with the embarrassed half-smile and fidgety hands who is staring at Elphaba like she’s worried Elphaba will disappear if she looks away?

Brushing past the girl, Elphaba moves into the room properly, walking over to set her things down on what has clearly been designated as her side. She has only her jacket, her travel items, and her brand-new class schedule, so it takes mere seconds before she’s as good as settled in. 

“Sorry for the clutter. I was sort of expecting to have a private suite when I packed.” Galinda rocks on her heels a little, looking a touch sheepish. 

Of course she was. 

Elphaba opens a few drawers, eyeing the assortment of trinkets on top. Some of the drawers are already neatly bisected with pink clothes folded on one end. 

“Can I have this one?” Elphaba asks, pointing to a larger drawer along the bottom that already has a few items in it, just to see what Galinda says. 

“Oh, sure! Of course, yeah, you can have whatever you want.”

Galinda hustles over to take her few notebooks out of the drawer, smiling at Elphaba as she clutches the bundle to her chest. 

Well, Elphaba will give her credit for her good-girl performance, at least. Saves her the awkwardness of having to try and room with someone who wouldn’t even pretend to like her. She can’t imagine how awful it would be to room with someone you loathe. 

“Thanks,” Elphaba belatedly replies. Closing the drawer, she turns her attention to the little day bed, the sheets a stiff white like they were borrowed from the nurse’s clinic. There is an almost perfect invisible line bisecting the room, as though Galinda, despite her friendliness so far, doesn’t want any of her stuff to touch Elphaba’s side of the room. 

“They had to bring a new bed in, but--” Galinda looks at the large, plush bed on her side of the room. “We can…switch. If you want.”

She doesn’t sound very thrilled by the idea, of course. Not that Elphaba would’ve expected her to be. She wonders how long Galinda will keep up the act. How long before she’ll ask Elphaba for what she really wants. 

“It’s fine,” Elphaba says, turning to take in the rest of the space she’ll now be living in. It looks horribly empty in comparison to the other half of the room. 

Morrible had lent her a uniform for classes tomorrow, and the rest of them would arrive within the week. Frex had even said he’d send some of her personal belongings when he had time. 

Though Oz only knows when he’ll “have time.”

“R-right! Well, if you need anything- I mean, I don’t know if you have, like, or, if, um… never mind.”

Elphaba cocks a curious eyebrow at the way Galinda has now flushed a rosy pink as she stares at the ground, her fingers tightening around the books in her arms. Hm. Maybe she’s more unsettled about rooming with Elphaba than she expected. Maybe she’s already regretting her decision to volunteer. 

Galinda clears her throat and spins around when she realizes Elphaba is watching, busying herself with finishing setting up her side of the room. Elphaba keeps an eye on her for a moment, observing the way her fingers brush gently over each trinket, the soft sigh and careful hands that hold her belongings like they’re precious mementos. 

She’s quite strange, Galinda Upland. Elphaba finds herself impossibly intrigued by her new roommate, enough that she can feel the caution and suspicion start to fade under the weight of her curiosity. 

Why Elphaba? Galinda didn’t know Elphaba had sorcery powers when she’d greeted her so kindly by the docks. She couldn’t have known anything about Elphaba except for the fact that she was green. And…it had seemed like Galinda didn’t even care. 

Elphaba had heard the gasps and whispers and general disgust and wariness from the other students. But Galinda had stepped right up, had taken her hand, had smiled at her like she was someone who mattered. 

She couldn’t have possibly had an agenda yet…could she? And even if Galinda wanted to use Elphaba to get closer to Morrible or something, she didn’t have to stand in that courtyard and make that speech, winning the students over to her right after she’d given them every reason to make her a target. 

So why? Why did she do it? Why did she care? 

The performative, stiff, flawless public speaker from earlier doesn’t match the stuttery, awkward blonde in front of her now. It was like the moment she entered the dorm, she shed a mask and became someone different. Is this the real Galinda Upland? Or is this just another act? 

Elphaba finishes arranging her things, scouts out the bathroom situation, and stacks the few books she’d brought on the boat on her tiny new desk. The whole time, she keeps one eye on the girl on the other side of the room. Enough to notice that, when she thinks Elphaba won’t see, Galinda is watching her too. 

Strange. Strange and curious.  

The questions tumble around in Elphaba’s head the rest of the afternoon as the pair settle in, Galinda huffing and mumbling and trying to figure out where to fit her numerous suitcases and wardrobes. Elphaba has never met someone with so much stuff before, and she is literally from one of the richest families in all of Munchkinland. 

Eventually, the silence and darting glances get to be too much, and Elphaba decides to extend a little olive branch of her own. She may be wary…but she is also polite. Galinda has technically been nothing but nice so far. She may as well repay the favor.

“If you need more room, there’s plenty of space over here,” she offers.

Galinda spins around at her voice immediately. There’s something about the way she looks at Elphaba, something that stings her skin, like Galinda is gazing right through her, like she is pulling her apart, like she looks at Elphaba and sees something entirely different from what Elphaba sees in the mirror. 

It’s a bit intense, really. It’s not a look you’d expect from someone like Galinda. 

“Oh, no, I don’t…I don’t want to impose. We’re meant to be sharing.”

Hm. Interesting. 

“It’s fine; I’m giving you permission. I don’t have any luggage of my own anyway, so it just makes sense.”

Elphaba shrugs, intrigued even more by the way Galinda’s eyes sparkle with something almost sad, almost guilty, despite the smile that lifts her lips. 

“Thanks,” she whispers. It feels much too weighty for such a small gesture, and it makes Elphaba feel uncomfortable, so she just shrugs again and goes back to reading. 

“Hey, um, Elphi...phaba?” Galinda’s voice is low and hesitant, her fingers twisting in the fabric of her skirt as she aims a tiny smile Elphaba’s way.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say. I-I’m really glad you’re here.”

Elphaba looks up at that, blinking speechlessly at the unexpected words. She doesn’t have a response to something like that. Not even a snarky retort.  

“Sorry. I, uh, I wasn’t looking forward to having a private suite, actually. I think it sounds…rather lonely.”

Elphaba honestly can’t tell if Galinda is being genuine or if this is still part of some ploy. But the thing is- even though she doesn’t know Galinda all that well yet, she has a feeling that if Galinda was putting on an act, she’d be doing a much better job of it. This Galinda--somehow smaller than the girl who’d stood in the courtyard--seems a little too soft to be fake.

So she smiles back at the girl, catching the way her eyes seem to light up a little in response. “Well, I meant to thank you earlier. It was…kind of you. To volunteer.”

“You’re welcome!” Galinda beams at her, bouncing slightly on her bed. “I can show you around tomorrow, too! I-if you want, of course.”

As the sun slides further west, the light at their window starts to go dark, and Elphaba flips the lamps on to keep the dorm lit enough to read by. Nerves are starting to bundle in her stomach, the realization of just where she is and what she’ll be doing tomorrow making her chest clench in unexpected anxiety. 

At least I’ll have Nessa, she reassures herself. And --catching sight of a flash of blonde out the corner of her eye, another thought joining it unbidden-- maybe I’ll have Galinda too.

Chapter Text

Elphaba can’t help but be intrigued by her new roommate. Galinda Upland, it turns out, is a fascinating person.  

On the first day of classes, Galinda wakes with the sun, slipping out of bed with practiced ease. Maybe she’s a morning person? Except…Elphaba had heard her tossing and turning all night, likely just as nervous as Elphaba about their first day of classes. 

Still, Galinda keeps a smile on her face all morning as she gets ready. She walks out of the bathroom with her hair and makeup flawless, her custom pink uniform is ironed and ready to wear, and her heels are chosen with an easy flick of fingers. And then she…waits. 

She waits for Elphaba to finish getting ready as well.

“I can show you the way to class!” Galinda offers. She pauses, eyes moving off to the side a bit. “I mean, if, if that’s alright with you.”

It’s strange, really. As the day continues, Elphaba gets to see firsthand just how confident and composed Galinda is. She leads the way to class with a brisk walk that has other students falling in behind her like clockwork. She’s a natural leader, shiny and golden and perfectly poised. 

She offers her assistance to anyone who asks. She brushes off the numerous compliments thrown her way with humble ease. She introduces herself to the class with a smile that wins over the professor immediately. She seems…perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

And yet, when they’re alone in the dorm, when it’s just the two of them together, she comes off entirely different. Nervous, almost, her hands fidgeting as she avoids meeting Elphaba’s gaze. It’s only when Elphaba isn’t outright looking that she notices the way Galinda stares at her, her brown eyes soft and distant as they roam over Elphaba’s face. 

So, yeah. She’s intriguing. And despite it all, despite common sense and a lifetime’s worth of experience telling Elphaba to be wary, to not fall for the popular girl’s tricks, to be looking for the whispers behind her back that will tell her this is all a prank…she can’t help being drawn to Galinda. She can’t help the desire to know more. 

***

Elphaba discovers very quickly the sheer power that Galinda holds. 

Galinda bounds into their very first class together with a brilliant grin, greeting her friends when they hustle over and try to tug her to the side. She shakes them off easily, frowning at them enough that they realize they’ve done something wrong. 

“You haven’t said ‘hello’ to Elphaba,” Galinda says. She throws a soft smile over her shoulder at the green girl in question, then turns back to her friends with an expectant look.

Both of them stare at her for a moment like they think she’s lost her mind, but when Galinda’s frown deepens, they are quick to mumble out a couple of half-hearted ‘hellos’ and then beckon Galinda over to sit with them. 

She doesn’t follow. Instead, she looks at Elphaba, asking her where she would like to sit. 

“I’m going to sit with my sister,” Elphaba answers. “You can sit with your friends.”

“But we’re friends, too, aren’t we? We can all sit together!”

Friends. Is that what they are? Elphaba isn’t quite sure. It doesn’t feel like they’re friends. But then again…what does Elphaba know. She’s never had a friend before. 

However, she can see the looks Galinda’s actual friends are giving her behind the blonde’s back, so she shakes her head and insists she’ll just sit with Nessa. She turns away before she can see the crestfallen look on Galinda’s face. 

It goes like that in every class they have that first day. Galinda offers to sit with Elphaba, Elphaba insists on sitting with Nessarose, and Galinda’s friends make faces at each other like they have no idea what’s going on. Elphaba doesn’t quite know what’s going on herself. 

She thinks she figures it out by lunchtime. When Galinda comes skipping up to her and plops herself down in the seat right beside Elphaba, smiling at her like nothing is amiss. Her friends are forced to follow suit, sitting down across from them at the lunch table. 

Elphaba barely manages to save a spot for her sister, glancing around in confusion. 

“What are you doing?” she asks Galinda. The blonde blinks up at her with her own confused expression. 

“What do you mean? We’re eating lunch.”

“Right, but why are you eating lunch here?” 

“Well, where else would I be? You guys are the only people I know.”

And…okay, that’s actually a decent point. This is technically Galinda’s first day at Shiz, and despite the ease with which she’s been talking to everyone, it’s clear that there are only a few other First Years that she’s actually met before. 

So, is she clinging to Elphaba because Elphaba is someone familiar? Or is she doing it to further her own personal goals, whatever those may be? 

Either way, Elphaba realizes pretty quickly that there are some major benefits that come with sitting at Galinda Upland’s table. 

No one, not a single student the entire day, says anything to Elphaba about her skin. Not one!

It’s baffling. Absurd. Utterly unheard of. She says as much to Nessa in a moment they have together in class, Galinda distracted by her peers, and Nessa laughs at her, smiling and saying Elphaba should just accept it and be glad. 

“Maybe college kids have better things to worry about, Fabala. I’m happy for you!”

It annoys Elphaba a little bit, though, because she knows it’s not as simple as that. She sees and hears the students whisper amongst themselves, staring at her out of the corner of their eyes. She knows there are things they want to say, things they would say, if it weren’t for the little blonde shield that stands in their way. 

Galinda is the sole and only reason that Elphaba is not getting picked on or teased. Elphaba knows it. Galinda knows it. The whole school knows it. 

Elphaba doesn’t like feeling like she is hiding behind her roommate, allowing Galinda to protect her. She had started the day fairly open-minded about the possibility of growing closer to Galinda, but as the hours stretch, she starts to feel her earlier curiosity twist into something closer to irritation.

It’s not that she’s not grateful, but Elphaba is used to being teased. She can handle it. She’s spent her whole life building up her own shields.  So while she appreciates the gesture, she doesn’t actually want it. Elphaba doesn’t like lying. She doesn’t like hiding. She would much rather everyone just be honest with her, even if that means telling her how much they dislike her. It saves her the effort of having to pretend. 

Galinda, it seems, is nothing but pretend. 

The dichotomy is unsettling, partially because Elphaba doesn’t know which one to believe. Which version of Galinda is the real one? The effortlessly cool one who introduces Elphaba to her friends with a smile that warns them to behave? Or the nervous, awkward one who triple-checks if Elphaba wants to use the bathroom before taking her shower? 

And what happens if neither of them are? 

It puts her oddly on edge, even as she indulges Galinda in sitting with her again at dinner. It’s not that Galinda’s truly done anything worth being wary of, but Elphaba just keeps feeling like she’s missing something. Like she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

***

“And this is the boo- um, the library! Shiz has a very open floorplan for its library, but if you want a little extra peace and quiet--” Galinda beckons her to follow with a wave of her hand, nearly bouncing out the doors and down a narrow hallway. 

She’s been showing Elphaba around campus between classes, helping the girl sort out where everything is. It was clear she must’ve toured campus before enrolling because she walked the halls of Shiz with the practiced ease of someone who was entirely confident that they knew where they were going. 

The little nook she shows Elphaba, an alcove on a rarely-used floor with a window seat overlooking the gardens, is exactly the kind of quiet, out-of-the-way area that Elphaba would’ve likely spent her whole first week searching for. 

“Do you like it?”

“I- Yeah, Galinda, it’s great.”

The blonde beams at her, and Elphaba hides her unease with a stiff smile. That’s something else about Galinda. Something else that rattles Elphaba and makes her apprehension surrounding the blonde only grow. 

Galinda seems to get Elphaba in a way no other person ever has. It would feel nice--flattering, even--if it weren’t so utterly strange. Because she’s never met this girl before in her life. So how the hell does she have Elphaba so figured out already?

It irks her. It itches under skin, a prickling wrongness that thickens the defensive walls in Elphaba’s mind. She feels stripped bare under Galinda’s knowing brown eyes. She feels small, a butterfly on the wall, pinned and powerless and lacking the capacity to ever understand the scientist that put it there as well as the scientist understands it. 

Elphaba hates feeling like this. So, in the days that follow, she goes out of her way to avoid the cozy alcove, searching instead for her own hiding spot, one where Galinda won’t be able to find her. She just wants to be by herself for a little, wants some time to think. 

Elphaba has never shared a room before. Not even with her sister. To suddenly have to share your space, your privacy, your every waking minute with someone else? It’s a lot harder than she had expected. 

It doesn’t help that Galinda seems so keen on sticking close to her. Despite the fact that she’s quickly established herself as the most popular girl in school, she only ever wants to hang out with Elphaba. 

It’s so wildly unrealistic and out of place--this pretty Gillikinese girl abandoning her friends to chase after Elphaba--that it only serves to make her want to run further away. Within just a few days of moving into Shiz, Elphaba feels like a jack-in-the-box about to pop. She’s too wound up. Too on edge. 

Maybe that’s why it all goes down so terribly. 

---

Elphaba has her very first session with Madame Morrible later today. She’s been poring over the sorcery books the woman gave her to study, but she truly has no idea what to expect. It makes her nervous, unable to even eat lunch. 

She goes back to her room instead and is only mildly surprised when she sees Galinda get up to follow. Her efforts to avoid the blonde have not been going well, even though it’s only been a couple of days. She was pretty sticky, that Galinda, and she didn’t seem eager to let Elphaba out of her sight. 

Maybe on any other day, Elphaba would’ve been able to ignore it. Would’ve been able to brush it aside and stay calm. But today, when she’s all wound up and already on edge, it’s just one more thing she doesn’t want to deal with.  

She can feel the tension build when Galinda doesn’t move off to her side of the room, and instead seems to be bracing herself and working up the courage to speak. Elphaba feels her hackles rise, already on the defensive. She has a feeling she knows what’s coming. 

“El-Elphaba. About Madame Morrible…” Galinda starts, hesitant and slow, and Elphaba can’t help the bark of laughter that leaves her mouth, startling the blonde into freezing. 

How fucking predictable. 

Elphaba is already shaking her head. “Man, you really couldn’t help yourself, could you?”

“I-I’m sorry?”

Let's get this over with. 

“Look, you heard Madame Morrible, her class is already filled. And I know you may not have heard the word ‘no’ before, but I can’t do anything about it.”

A part of Elphaba winces at how rough she’s being, but she wants to make it very clear, right from the start, that she will not allow herself to be used for personal favors. Absolutely not. If Galinda wants into Morrible’s sorcery seminar, she can bring it up with Morrible herself.

“No, I- that’s not what I--” Galinda shakes her head frantically. “That’s not what I was going to say. I don’t want into Morrible’s seminar.”

“Right…” Like I believe that. 

Galinda moves even closer, her movements jerky as she starts to reach out to Elphaba and then snatches her hands back. The aborted motion only serves to make Elphaba more irritated. 

“I don’t even like Morrible, really. I actually wanted- I was going to- that is…I was going to suggest maybe you rethink taking her seminar--”

“Are you kidding me?” Elphaba cuts the blonde off so quickly it makes her pretty little head snap back a bit, eyes wide. “Is that seriously your angle?”

“My angle?”

Elphaba curls her hands into fists, feeling her irritation rise into actual anger, the kind that makes magic pool dangerously in her palms. 

This is the first time in her entire life that someone has chosen Elphaba, has wanted Elphaba, for no other reason than because they really, truly, honestly believed in her. Believed that she could turn the worst parts of herself into something good. 

And this girl, this prissy, uptight blonde, has the audacity to try and take it away? Just like that? 

Not a chance in Oz. 

“Listen, it doesn’t matter how nice you are to me or whatever your game is. Morrible invited me to her seminar. Just me. And all this sucking up isn’t going to do anything but keep pissing me off!”

Galinda gapes at her. “It’s not a game!” she blurts out. 

“Really? Then what do you call it? I’ve heard the way your friends talk about me when they think I’m not listening, Galinda; I’m not an idiot! There’s nothing I hate more than people who pretend to be something they’re not.”

She’s on a roll now, finally able to get everything she’s been feeling off her chest. It feels oddly liberating, and she’s too far gone to realize how she’s been steadily marching closer, forcing Galinda to back up toward the wall. 

“Elph- Elphaba, please, I’m not my friends, I prom--”

“So you don’t deny what they’ve been saying?”

“I don’t agree with it! I’ve been tryi--”

“And you don’t deny you’ve been pretending?”

“No-- This isn’t about me, this is about Morrible! Please, just--”

“This isn't about her, this is about you!”

“I haven’t lied! I swear, Elphi--”

“Just shut up!” 

Her voice pierces right through whatever Galinda was going to say as the blonde’s entire body jerks away from her, her brown eyes wide wide wide. She’s staring at Elphaba, at the way her body has leaned into Galinda’s space enough to be called looming, at the way her eyes are narrowed into slits and her hands clenched into fists. At the way the glass door of their balcony has just slammed shut hard enough to make the glass break. 

There’s a moment of aching, awful silence, nothing but the harsh sounds of both girls’ heavy breathing. One of which is starting to get significantly faster. 

Elphaba comes back to herself with a familiar rush of shame and guilt, the tinkling of broken glass reverberating through her ears as the red fades from her vision enough to take in the shaking figure in front of her clearly. 

“I-I--”

Elphaba takes a few hasty steps back, bumping into the edge of a pink suitcase and making a few trinkets fall over with a soft ‘plink’ that makes Galinda flinch. The blonde seems to be trying to pull herself together, her face smoothing out into an almost impressive mask, but it’s too late. Elphaba had already seen. 

“I’m sorry,” Elphaba chokes out. She swallows hard and takes a deep breath, glancing guiltily at the broken door. “I-I didn’t mean to lose my temper.”

Galinda nods quickly, but she doesn’t try to speak. She’s staring hard at the floor, seemingly unable to meet Elphaba’s eyes. 

I overreacted, Elphaba wants to say. I’ve just been stressed about my first class. 

She can’t quite get the words out, though. Nothing feels good enough. The past few minutes feel like a blur of bad decisions, and as the adrenaline starts to fade, she can’t even fathom how quickly she let things snowball out of control. How quickly she let her anger consume her. 

Father is right, she thinks bitterly. Galinda had done nothing to deserve that- and Elphaba hadn’t even given her a chance to explain herself, just steamrolled right over top of her. 

Elphaba takes another few steps back. “I really am sorry,” she says again. Guilt swirls in her stomach, a slimy sticky feeling that makes her feel two feet tall. 

“It’s fine,” Galinda whispers, but Elphaba can see the way she’s trembling. “I’m, um, I’m just gonna--”

She gestures to the bathroom, skirting carefully around Elphaba and darting for the open door. It’s not until it slams shut that Elphaba lets her head drop into her hands, groaning as she digs the heel of her palm into her eyes. 

What have I done? 

If Galinda really hadn’t been pretending, if she really was just being nice all this time, then Elphaba may have just ruined the only chance at friendship she’s ever been given. And she has no one to blame but herself. 

When several moments pass and Galinda doesn’t resurface, Elphaba eventually moves to find a broom to start sweeping up the pile of glass, making a mental note to tell someone to get it fixed later. The rhythmic, repetitive motion of sweeping helps calm her a little, lets her think a bit more clearly. 

It does nothing to stop the shame, though. Not when every time she glances at the closed bathroom door, she thinks of the way Galinda had looked when Elphaba had yelled at her. She thinks of the bottomless fear that had filled those brown eyes. 

Later that day, when Morrible asks her to show off some of her magic, to try and levitate a simple coin, Elphaba can’t even muster the strength to try. 

“What’s wrong, dearie?” Morrible asks. And Elphaba can’t tell her. Elphaba can’t possibly explain that she may have ruined something before she even gave it a chance to begin. 

“Nothing,” she says instead. “Just roommate stuff.”

Morrible hums sympathetically, and when it becomes clear no progress is going to be made today, she releases Elphaba early, only adding more shame to the mix. 

When Elphaba gets back to the dorm, the bathroom door is open again, but Galinda is nowhere in sight. It strikes her then, that this is probably the first time since they moved in that she’s been away from Galinda for this long. It doesn’t feel as peaceful as she’d imagined. 

I messed up, Elphaba thinks. She collapses onto her bed, her eyes going to the other side of the room where a mountain of pink sits. She knows she messed up.

The only question is…what is she going to do to make it right?

Chapter Text

The next day is…awkward, to say the least. 

Elphaba stays up for hours waiting for Galinda to return, but eventually, she must fall asleep. By the time morning comes, Galinda is sitting at her vanity like nothing is amiss. 

“Did you get back in time to get some sleep?” Elphaba asks, her own guilt gnawing at her. Not just that- but Elphaba is a big sister. It’s in her nature to worry, and the thought of the younger girl being out all night because of her makes her gut twist around itself.

“You don’t need to worry about me,” Galinda replies smoothly. She flashes Elphaba a quick grin in the mirror. “I’m fine.”

It does not escape Elphaba’s attention that Galinda did not, technically, answer her question. She decides to let it slide, though, intent on finding the right moment to give the girl a much-needed proper apology. 

Elphaba knows she went overboard last night, letting her mind jump to conclusions and letting her temper rule her actions. Valid suspicions over Galinda’s motivations or not, that wasn’t the right way to handle things. She should know better, and she is the older of the two. 

“Listen, Galinda,” she tries to start. She takes a step toward the girl and has to swallow the sudden lump in her throat at the tiny little flinch Galinda can’t quite keep her from seeing. 

“I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for last night. I was way out of line,” Elphaba blurts out. She takes a hasty step back so the other girl doesn’t feel uncomfortable. 

Elphaba’s heart pounds in her chest as she awaits Galinda’s answer. She wants to make this right. She needs to make this right. With every minute that had slid by last night, Elphaba had fallen deeper and deeper into despair. She had felt so sure of her need to keep her guard up around the blonde just earlier that day, but as soon as Galinda was gone, it felt like something important was missing from their room. It was unsettling, and Elphaba needed to fix it. 

“It’s fine, Elphaba,” Galinda finally responds. “I forgive you. It’s…it’s not a big deal.”

With that, the blonde shrugs and turns her attention back to fiddling with her makeup collection. Elphaba is left gaping at her from several feet away. 

It’s fine? It’s not a big deal?!

Elphaba argues with herself internally for several long, drawn-out seconds before she clears her throat and nods stiffly, letting the moment pass. If Galinda wants to just brush the whole thing off, maybe that’s the best plan. Even if Elphaba still feels wrong-footed and awkward. It would be fine. 

Right?

***

Wrong. 

The morning passes in stilted silence, Elphaba too afraid to try and speak up and start a conversation, and Galinda still clearly doing her best to ignore Elphaba. It made the air in the room feel stifling and thick, the unspoken tension hanging like heavy fog. 

Elphaba eventually left to go to the library, pausing outside the door to shake the stiffness out of her shoulders. It takes her a second to get moving, realizing after a moment she’d become accustomed to Galinda following after her. In less than a week, she’d already picked up new habits. 

She ends up staying out of the dorm for several hours, thankful that it’s the weekend and she doesn’t have to worry about going to class with her head such a mess. A part of her believes she had a right to be suspicious of Galinda--the girl still hasn’t revealed what her actual motivations are--and Elphaba just felt so sure that she was hiding something from her. 

But she also knows that there was a much more mature way to handle things, and she should’ve at least given Galinda the chance to explain. A few students pass by Elphaba in the hallways and library, giving her brief nods of greeting. Nothing but polite. That very fact alone proves that maybe, just maybe, Elphaba was wrong. 

If Galinda’s show of friendship was all an act or had some ulterior motive, wouldn’t she have dropped it by now? Wouldn’t she have told the rest of the student body there was no need to play pretend anymore? 

Elphaba only heads back to the dorm when the sun starts to set. She didn’t get anything productive done, but she did finally find a spot tucked away where no one else could find her. The little bubble of peace at least gave her the chance to ruminate without worrying about other people watching. 

The moment she steps into the dorm, there’s a pink blur that has her jerking back, Galinda suddenly inches away, her eyes wide and frantic. 

“Where have you been?” she cries, hands fluttering by her sides. She almost goes to reach out, then stops herself. Again. 

“Nowhere, I was just…I was just studying.”

Elphaba frowns, mildly confused at the way Galinda is staring at her with such lingering panic in her expression. Did she think Elphaba had run off or something? She’d told the girl she was going to the library before she left. 

As if reading her mind, Galinda shakes her head and responds. “I checked the library and you weren’t there. I- I didn’t know where you were.” 

Her voice cracks on the last word, her eyes suddenly shiny with what almost looks like tears. Elphaba feels her confusion grow. Seriously- it was Galinda who had been missing from the dorm just last night. 

“Relax, I found somewhere a bit quieter to read in peace, that’s all. I didn’t even leave campus.”

Except- it doesn’t look like Galinda can relax. She’s trembling slightly, her breaths coming in quick little pants that bring that gnawing sense of guilt back to Elphaba’s stomach, even though she’s pretty sure that, this time, she didn’t do anything wrong. 

“You- you can’t just- you can’t- I didn’t--” Galinda shakes her head, then again, then again. She backs up several steps, pressing her hands to her eyes. “Sorry,” she squeaks out. 

“It’s…okay. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Elphaba lingers by the door, trapped by the awkwardness of watching her roommate fall apart a little. She had found Galinda’s clinginess all week to be a little annoying, but now she just feels a bit bad for the girl. Even if she also thinks she’s overreacting quite a bit.  

Eventually, Galinda takes a deep breath and shoves her hands through her hair, apparently back to a reasonable state of calm. She gives Elphaba a wobbly smile. “Sorry,” she repeats softly. 

“It’s okay.” Elphaba is starting to sound like a broken record, but what else is she supposed to say? 

She does at least move to her bed, setting down her satchel and books and shrugging off her jacket. She notices absentmindedly that the glass door has been fixed already. Galinda must’ve gotten someone to come change it out today. 

Elphaba was actually hoping to maybe talk with Galinda a little more about what went down last night now that she’s taken the day to get her thoughts in order, but she’s been completely thrown off by the strange little incident that just occurred. 

If Galinda says it’s not a big deal, maybe I shouldn’t worry about it, she tells herself. What good would it do to keep bringing it up if the blonde simply wants to move on?

Elphaba does her best to go about her evening routine as normally as possible. She even tries her hand at a little small talk, asking Galinda about her day and if she had any plans for tomorrow and if she enjoyed her first week of classes. Anything was better than the silence that had plagued them that morning. 

“You don’t have to do that,” Galinda cuts in suddenly. She’s sitting on her bed, legs tucked underneath her and focus on her fidgeting hands. 

“Do what?”

“Try. So hard. I…I forgave you already, Elphaba. It’s fine; I promise.”

Her eyes flick up to meet Elphaba’s, brown and genuine. But the longer Elphaba looks, the more she feels like she can see a hidden sadness in their depths, and it hurts her to think that maybe she’s the reason that it’s there. 

She swallows hard, turning away so Galinda can’t read whatever expression twists across her face. She just…doesn’t know where she stands with Galinda. And it’s unsettling to her, itching uncomfortably under her skin whenever she has to spend time with the girl. 

She knows she scared her last night. Badly.

She knows she may have ruined her chances. But-

“Hey, Galinda?” Elphaba calls out. She steels herself, willing her voice to remain as soft and honest as it can. “If- if you still wanted. I, um, I would really like to be your friend. I know I messed up last night, and I…I’d like to try again.” 

There’s a pause, long enough for Elphaba to regret every stuttering word. Then-

“I would love that,” Galinda says. She bounces to her feet suddenly, crossing the room with eager steps. She pauses a few feet away, rocking back on her heels. 

“Let’s start over,” Galinda offers. She takes a deep breath and sticks her hand out. “Hi. My name is Galinda Upland. I’m your new roommate.” 

Elphaba can’t help the tiny laugh that escapes. Something warm and almost fond buzzes under her skin. She takes a step forward and clasps Galinda’s hand, giving it a single shake. “Hi, Galinda. I’m Elphaba. It’s nice to meet you.”

And there- there’s that look again. That tiny spark of sadness deep in Galinda’s eyes. But it’s covered so quickly by the blonde’s dazzling smile that Elphaba assures herself she must’ve just imagined it. 

After all, what did Galinda Upland have to be sad about? 

Chapter Text

The next day goes much better. The atmosphere is less awkward, less stifling. The girls occasionally break the quiet with a simple question or a small bit of chatting, and it feels…fine. Like any two people adjusting to sharing a space. 

This is normal, Elphaba tells herself. We’re just getting to know each other. 

In fact, now that Galinda seems to have backed off on being quite as eager, Elphaba has the chance to actually get to know the blonde a little better. And she concludes, once again, that Galinda Upland is fascinating. 

There’s just an aura to her, a strange pull Elphaba can’t quite ignore. It seems the other students can’t either because they flock to her like she’s the queen bee of some hive that infects the whole school. She engages with them in such an effortless manner, you’d think she’s been inspiring crowds for ages. Maybe she has. Maybe she’s always been little miss popular. 

Elphaba finds herself watching Galinda throughout the day, studying the way she interacts with the world. She doesn’t even mean to, really. One of the side effects of spending a great deal of time with another person, is that you just can’t help but learn all about them. 

Like how Galinda likes her routines. She has a very set routine in the mornings. She wakes early, going through the motions of doing her hair and her makeup and picking her outfit for the day as though she’s done it a million times. She’s usually dressed and ready to go before Elphaba even gets out of bed, but she always waits for the other girl, making them both a cup of tea while Elphaba dresses. 

“Here!” Galinda had said last week, holding out a steaming mug for Elphaba to take. “You, um, you like tea, right?”

Indeed Elphaba does. In fact, she likes tea exactly the way Galinda made it. The other girl had just laughed nervously when she pointed that out, waving it off with a pink-manicured hand. “Just lucky, I guess,” she had said. “That’s actually the way I take my tea.”

Elphaba learns that Galinda’s two main friends are Pfannee and ShenShen, both Gillikenese born and raised. They usually catch up to the pair by the time they make it to their first class of the day, hooking arms with Galinda and pulling her over to sit beside them. 

That first class after the weekend, after their fight, is the first time Galinda doesn’t offer to sit with Elphaba first. She tries not to let it sting. She had wanted the space, after all, so that she had a little breathing room to consider her roommate with a clear head. 

Galinda still sits down beside Elphaba at lunch. Still tries to get the other students to include her in their small talk. Still smiles at Elphaba like she doesn’t even care about her green skin. She still goes out of her way to be overtly friendly, never making Elphaba feel like she’s been left out. 

Elphaba would be lying if she said she wasn’t still a bit put off by the strange edge of fakeness she senses in the girl, but as she spends more time with Galinda, she starts to think that it really has nothing to do with Elphaba and rather everything to do with Galinda. 

In public, Galinda is a masterclass in confidence and charisma, easily charming the whole school, professors and all. Their classmates are already trying to make her the face of every club at Shiz, and she somehow manages to engage with all of them in a way that makes them feel like they are the most important part of her day. 

She lets her friends pull her every which direction, but somehow always seems like she’s the one in charge. She laughs at every joke; she smiles constantly; she makes everyone feel so seen . She even lets the students interrupt her at mealtimes to ask her questions or petition her for their club or event or social gathering. 

It seems, to Elphaba, like it must be exhausting. 

After a week of sharing a room with Galinda, Elphaba can pretty definitively say that the blonde is not a restful sleeper. She tends to toss and turn, somehow still rustling around when Elphaba falls asleep and already out of bed by the time Elphaba wakes. She’s only caught sight of Galinda’s bare face once, but the deep circles under her eyes were hard to miss. 

She covers them easily with makeup, and she smiles so winningly that no one would ever imagine she’s running on nothing but caffeine and willpower. But there’s a certain mask that she puts on every morning, and Elphaba is starting to realize it extends far beyond just the glitter on her eyelids. 

Galinda just seems so different when it’s just the two of them. She is calmer, quieter, a little nervous but in an almost insecure way rather than a scared way. She lacks that dazzling edge or confident armor that she wears around the school, but Elphaba is starting to think this is the more genuine Galinda. 

Maybe it should feel insulting that she apparently doesn’t find Elphaba worth putting on an act for, but a part of Elphaba is honestly glad that the younger girl feels comfortable enough to let her guard down when they’re alone. Because it’s only been a week, but already, keeping up with Galinda is the most tiring thing Elphaba has ever done. 

It might just be the introvert in Elphaba talking, but she can’t imagine enjoying being so constantly swarmed, so constantly overwhelmed by people and questions and demands. The students love Galinda, but it’s almost like they feel entitled to her time and attention. And she always gives it, as if it never even occurred to her that she is allowed to set boundaries for herself. 

“You know,” Elphaba can’t help but say. “You could tell them to get lost if you wanted.”

A group of students, older than them even, had just spent fifteen minutes of their thirty-minute lunch break pestering the blonde about something or another. Galinda blinks over at her and her brow wrinkles in concern. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Elphaba. I didn’t mean to let it disturb your lunch.” 

And…that’s another thing she’s learned. Galinda doesn’t seem to care in the slightest about her own time or peace, but she cares greatly about Elphaba’s. She always gives Elphaba her undivided attention whenever the girl speaks up, and she’s quick to apologize whenever she feels she’s inconveniencing the older girl, her eyes flicking nervously to the side. 

Elphaba can’t help but wonder if she’s afraid of making Elphaba mad again. The image of Galinda cowering away from her, eyes wide and shiny with fear, is permanently burned into Elphaba’s brain. She’s spent so long trying to convince herself that her skin does not make her a monster. 

She doesn’t want to let her actions be that of a monster, either. 

“No, it’s fine. Just, um, make sure you still have time for yourself, too,” she says gently. She nods her head at Galinda’s untouched plate. “You haven’t eaten anything.”

“Oh.” There’s a tiny pause where Galinda’s gaze flits to the plate as if she had genuinely forgotten about its presence. Her lips curl up just slightly, a smile much softer than she usually gives. “Thanks.”

Elphaba nods, feeling her cheeks heat against her will. She doesn’t know why the moment feels so loaded. She’s just…being a considerate roommate. After all, she thinks she’s really starting to understand the enigma that is Galinda. 

She’s learned that Galinda likes quiet . She likes curling up with a good book just as much as Elphaba does. She likes taking walks through the winding garden paths or sitting in a patch of sunlight beneath a window. 

She’s learned that Galinda is kind, in an understated way that nearly flies under the radar. Galinda is always the last one to leave the classroom, often asking the professor if they need any help before she leaves. She gives her full attention to anyone who asks for it, and she always greets people by name, putting in the effort to get to know each student in their class. 

She’s learned that Galinda is smart, possibly a lot smarter than Elphaba would’ve imagined her at first. 

It’s not that Elphaba expected someone who got into Shiz University to be dumb, per se. It’s just…well, she assumed Galinda was probably a legacy student. Shiz was the most prestigious college in all of Oz, but a lot of kids got in based on their parents more so than their own merit.  Everyone knew it. And considering the amount of luggage Galinda had and her custom pink uniforms and her easy, breezy attitude, Elphaba figured it just made sense.

But Galinda, it turns out, is brilliant. She never raises her hand, but she always knows the answers when called upon. She barely studies her homework, but she finishes every evening faster than even Elphaba, and Elphaba has always prided herself on her studies. 

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Galinda asks, her soft voice yanking Elphaba out of her thoughts. She smiles at Elphaba from across the table, one hand twiddling with the end of her fork.

“Nothing,” Elphaba replies quickly. “Just school.”

Galinda tilts her head like she doesn’t quite believe her but nods agreeably all the same. Instead of eating, her fingers are pushing her fork in lazy circles, balanced on one tine, a casual level of fidgeting that still somehow draws Elphaba’s attention.

She does that a lot. Galinda, that is. She spins pens and she taps fingers and she bounces her knee under the table. Usually just when it’s the two of them, but sometimes Elphaba catches her twirling her hair around in class. 

She has this bubbly overwhelming energy, this need to keep moving and keep going and keep doing . She tilts her head when she’s curious and she rocks on her heels when she’s nervous and she smiles all the time but so few of them truly reach her eyes. She talks, often, but Elphaba has noticed she’s rarely the one to initiate conversation, she just always has plenty to say when someone else engages her. 

Elphaba has never really had the chance to get to know such small details about another person before because no one has ever let her get close enough to see them. Now that she’s started, though, she can’t find it in her to stop. She has a feeling that not everyone is like Galinda Upland.

Not everyone is quite as fascinating.

Chapter Text

The middle of the week comes with Elphaba’s most anticipated class. Dr. Dillamond is one of only a few Animal professors left at Shiz, and he’s the only one that teaches any First Year classes. Elphaba had been ecstatic to realize she would have the chance to take history with him. 

“You seem excited,” Galinda notes. She herself seems oddly nervous, fingers tapping along the edge of the books she’s holding to her chest. 

“I’ve heard great things about Dr. Dillamond. And history is one of my favorite subjects.”

She expects, for a second, that Galinda will make fun of her for that. She seems like the kind of person who wouldn’t care much for history. But she’s just looking up at Elphaba with an unreadable expression on her face. There’s a level of fondness to her gaze, but Elphaba swears she can still see that faint tinge of maybe-sadness. She can’t quite put her finger on whether that’s the right emotion or not, but it intrigues her nonetheless. 

“Hey,” she offers suddenly. “Do you want to sit with me in class today?”

Galinda blinks at her for a second, surprised, then beams and nods quickly. “Of course! I-I mean, I’d love to.” She blushes faintly, turning away from Elphaba, although not before Elphaba sees the way her cheeks have turned rosy. 

She feels a little bad for brushing off all of Galinda’s earlier attempts to sit together. The other girl can be a little clingy, sure, but Elphaba is starting to get used to the idea of that just being how Galinda is. Her other friends are pretty hands-on with her as well. Maybe this is normal for friends and it was Elphaba who overreacted. 

They make their way into the classroom together, finding a pair of seats near the front to sit down. Pfannee and ShenShen both give Galinda wild looks when they arrive, but the other girl just smiles and waves at them, not budging from her spot beside Elphaba. She has to admit- it does help to see Galinda clearly so at ease with brushing off her friends. Elphaba feels the last of her worries start to fall away, exchanging a quick grin with the blonde before their professor arrives. 

Dr. Dillamond is exactly as Elphaba expected. He’s engaging, knowledgeable, and clearly cares about the subject he’s teaching. It’s a refreshing change from a couple of the other professors they’ve had so far. Dr. Dillamond seems like the kind of educator who is truly in it for the love of teaching, not just because being at Shiz comes with a certain level of prestige (and a good paycheck). 

Unfortunately, it seems not all her classmates agree with her assessment. 

“Oz, look at him. My mom said Shiz was going downhill, you know. Now they’ve got us learning from dirty old goats, ” she hears someone behind her say. Their friend laughs under their breath, both students’ tones dripping with condescension. 

Elphaba feels her fingers tighten around her desk, trying valiantly to keep herself from turning around and making a scene. Anger makes her magic spark under her skin. To her surprise, though, Galinda gets there first. 

“Oh, but you have it all wrong!” she whispers, voice bright and breezy. “Shiz University has a rich history of employing Animal scholars, and the professors here have helped shape some of the most brilliant minds in Oz. Why, didn’t you see that lovely portrait in the courtyard? I just love how Shiz still embraces its roots and gives us the opportunity to learn from the absolute best academics Oz has to offer!”

Elphaba can’t help the way her jaw drops, as utterly gobsmacked by her roommate’s declaration as it seems the students behind them are. But what’s even more amazing, is the way they immediately backtrack, tripping over themselves to say how they were just joking and that Dr. Dillamond is obviously more than qualified. 

Fascinating, indeed, Elphaba thinks. Maybe there’s still a lot left to learn about Galinda. 

Her words haven’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the class either, most of whom started paying attention the moment she spoke up. For the first time, Elphaba really truly understands the weight of Galinda’s power over the student body. She’s not just some popular airhead- she has real influence over these people. 

Dr. Dillamond seems to have noticed the commotion as well. “Students, students,” he calls out. “Please, let us stay on task.”

There’s a bunch of shifting and grumbling, but Galinda just turns back around with a grin. 

“Is there anything else you’d like to add, Miss Gg-llllinda.” There’s a round of muffled snickers following the professor’s attempt at Galinda’s name, and Elphaba feels herself tense, ready to jump to his defense again.  

“I apologize,” Dr. Dillamond says, clearing his throat awkwardly. But Galinda smiles at him, and Elphaba just barely catches glimpse of that same almost-sad fondness in her eyes.

“It’s perfectly alright, Professor,” she replies. “Some of my friends call me Glinda anyway. As a, uh, nickname! Yes, I don’t mind it at all.”

Elphaba blinks, startled, and turns her head to her roommate in time to see her hands clench into fists tightly, just for a moment, before she smooths them back out against her skirt. Across the room, Pfannee and ShenShen are sharing confused glances, and Elphaba has a feeling they’ve never heard about this ‘nickname’ before either. 

Dr. Dillamond dips his head in a grateful nod, and class continues without a hitch. By the end of the day, word has spread, and more than one student addresses Galinda as just ‘Glinda’ when they speak to her. And more than one student tells ‘Glinda’ how they also really love the painting of the Animal professors in the courtyard and they also think it’s an honor to study at Shiz. 

Incredible, Elphaba thinks. She’s incredible. 

Later that evening, she watches Galinda get ready for bed silently, her nighttime routine just as strict as her morning one. 

“Um, Galinda?” Elphaba broaches haltingly. “I meant to ask after class…”

“Yes?” Once again, Elphaba feels startled by the way Galinda immediately gives her her full attention the minute she speaks up. She feels her cheeks flush slightly, and she ends up ducking her head to avoid the full force of those earnest brown eyes. 

“Your, uh, your nickname. Glinda. Did you make that up just for Dr. Dillamond?”

There’s a pause, long enough for Elphaba to cringe and peek back up. There’s a new expression on Galinda’s face, equally as unreadable as her others. 

“I just- I thought it was really good of you,” Elphaba rushes to say, hoping she didn’t accidentally insult her new friend. “To stand up for him when the others were laughing. Not everyone has such respect for Animals these days.”

She’s hoping Galinda is a true ally, someone else who cares the way Elphaba does. She thinks she’s wrong for a second when she sees the way the girl’s mouth twists at her words and her heart drops to her stomach, but then Galinda shakes her head roughly and says, quite firmly, “It wasn’t. Good of me, that is. I--” 

She breaks off, something frustrated and almost wet about the look in her eyes. “I didn’t make it up,” she finally finishes. She looks askance, swallowing visibly as her fingers start to twist. “People really do call me Glinda.”

“Oh.” Elphaba doesn’t quite know what to do with the suddenly weighted moment, but she tries to gather herself regardless. “Do you, uh, want me to call you that instead, then?”

Now she gets Galinda’s eyes on her again, wide and wild. “Or- or not,” Elphaba blurts, suddenly unsure if she’s vastly overestimated their budding friendship level.

“No, it’s-” Galinda breaks off again, licking her lips. “I…I like it when you call me Galinda. No one’s called me that in a really long time.”

The last line is almost whispered, and despite her confusion, Elphaba can feel the sincerity of it and her chest floods with warmth and relief. Galinda offers her a tiny smile, something wry curling its edges. “You can call me Galinda.”

Elphaba grins back, winking at the blonde. “Well, that is your name,” she says, and her grin cracks even wider when Galinda’s eyes sparkle with delight and she throws her head back laughing. 

She’s glad to lighten the mood, and she’s buzzing with the feeling of realizing, once again, that Galinda actually likes her. The blonde’s hair cascades around her shaking shoulders as she giggles, and the earlier strange tension has fled somewhere unknown. Elphaba thinks this is the first time she’s seen her really laugh. 

Elphaba still has a lot to learn about the conundrum that is Galinda Upland. But this, right here? This feels real. 

Chapter Text

The rest of the week passes easily as the girls grow closer, and even though it is only week two, school is already starting to ramp up. After the first classes go by, the professors start to get serious about giving out assignments and homework. 

And for Galinda, the social side of college is clearly starting to get into full swing as well. Elphaba watches curiously as the younger girl pulls out a giant calendar, marking off the days in glittery pink pen as she plans. By the time she’s done with the first month, there’s not a single day free. 

“Are you really going to attend all of those events?” Elphaba can’t help but ask. It seems more than a bit ridiculous in her opinion. Elphaba will go to the mandatory events, but honestly, she never even planned on attending college. She certainly doesn’t need to do all the things Galinda has marked down. 

“Of course!” the blonde chirps. “I already said ‘yes’ to most of these.” She spins her pen idly between her fingers as she eyes the lack of free space on the calendar. “It’s not… that much.”

Elphaba disagrees. Even just peering at it over Galinda’s shoulder, it looks like an impossible schedule for a single person to be able to complete. Galinda even has her own lunch period filled in with various student organizations and club meetings. 

“You’re going to stretch yourself too thin,” Elphaba warns. She can picture it already. One thing she’s learned from being a governor’s daughter is that prioritization is a skill, and sometimes, you can’t just say ‘yes’ to everything. 

Galinda is a nice person. And Elphaba has a feeling she has a hard time saying ‘no’ to anyone so long as they ask nicely. If you ask Elphaba, the other students at Shiz are taking advantage of her kindness by getting her to agree to all sorts of events that, really, don’t require Galinda’s attention in the slightest. 

They just want a pretty face and someone popular to grab interest. 

“It’s fine, Elphaba. Promise! I-I like being busy. I’m not good with boredom, really.”

Galinda smiles so winningly that Elphaba eventually has to shrug and agree, even if she personally feels like Galinda is biting off more than she can chew. Then again- Galinda has a talent for being shockingly capable. 

Already, she’s positioned herself as someone important to the student body, someone worth knowing and staying close to. The other students look to her for guidance, for ideas, for assistance in every endeavor big and small. Galinda indulges them all at lunchtime like a queen holding court for her subjects, easily moving from person to person, from conversation to conversation, and somehow making sure everyone leaves with a smile on their face. 

Elphaba isn’t sure how she does it, but she can’t help but be impressed. 

The end of the week comes with much excitement because the first major social event is happening that very evening. For Elphaba, however, the end of the week means something else entirely. It means sorcery seminar with Madame Morrible. 

There’s an electricity in the air as she starts her day that lets her know that whatever tension had kicked off the fight last week, it still has not been resolved. Galinda seems more on edge than ever, flitting about the room with an agitated sort of energy like she’s trying her best to stay distracted and find an outlet for her nerves. 

Eventually, though, there’s nothing else for her to organize or clean or fix up. She sits on the edge of her bed as Elphaba gets ready for the day, the books for their first two classes resting on her lap. 

She’s running her fingers over the edge of the topmost book, over and over and over, and there’s a little crease between her brows that clues Elphaba in to the inevitability of the conversation before Galinda even opens her mouth.

“El-Elphaba,” Galinda starts. She clears her throat awkwardly. “Um, about Madame Morrible…”

Elphaba’s heavy sigh is thankfully enough to cut the blonde off. “Can we not?” Elphaba interrupts. “I know I was out of line last week, but my point still stands, Galinda. You won’t change my mind about it.”

Galinda frowns up at her. “I don’t want into Morrible’s seminar,” she says firmly. “I just- I wanted to talk to you about Morrible.”

“What about her? She’s the most respected sorceress in Oz.” And the first person to ever believe in me. 

There’s a slight pause where Galinda seems to be working up her courage. She looks so different like this. Nothing like the confident queen bee who puts up with students buzzing around her with effortless ease. 

“I just…think you should be careful around her. She, um, she gives me a bad feeling. That’s all.”

A bad feeling? Is she serious? 

“Are you serious?” Elphaba says aloud. “A ‘bad feeling?’ Galinda, don’t be--”

“Please, Elphaba.” Galinda finally meets her eyes properly, her own wide and slightly watery. She looks desperate. Pleading. Way too emotional for something as silly as trying to convince Elphaba not to trust the one adult in her life who has been nice to her. 

“Can you at least tell me why you feel that way?” Elphaba asks. 

But as expected, Galinda can’t do anything but gape at her, her mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. Frustration colors the girl’s face, and she balls her hands into fists in her lap. She’s stumped- just as Elphaba knew she would be. 

And…she gets it. She knows all too well what the vicious sting of jealousy can taste like, how it can warp your mind until you’re doing things you think you’d never dare do. She had been jealous often as a child, watching as everyone around her got all the things she’d always been denied. As her sister got things she’d always been denied. 

But Elphaba had grown up and matured and learned how to be grateful for what she did have and to accept that there were certain things she simply had no control over. She had a feeling that, just as much as Galinda rarely ever said ‘no,’ she also rarely ever heard ‘no.’ Elphaba would bet the blonde hadn’t had to face any hardship or challenge in her life so far. 

She wasn’t used to being denied something she wanted and having to watch it go to someone else instead. 

Galinda finally seems to come up with an answer, shaking her head and blurting out: “Well, maybe I just know her better!” She tilts her head, something genuinely curious entering her gaze. “Did you even know of Morrible before you got to Shiz?”

Elphaba almost snorts at the ridiculousness of the question. “Did I, the magic-wielding social outcast who loves to read and study history, know of the most famous and powerful sorceress to come out of Oz in the past five decades? ”

“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds stupid.”

You think?!

Galinda’s grip on the books in her lap tightens. “What do you even see in Morrible?” she asks, clearly grasping for straws. 

“Oh, I don’t know, Galinda, maybe the fact that she’s the first person in my whole life to believe in me? To be nice to me? To see my magic as something good?” 

The confessions feel a little too raw, too vulnerable, but they spill out of Elphaba’s mouth without a thought, without a chance for her to hold them back. Galinda seems shocked herself by the ease with which Elphaba answers, blinking at her with wide brown eyes. 

Those eyes. Something about those eyes never fails to make Elphaba’s chest twist slightly, like there’s a mess of emotion there too deep for her to truly understand. 

“ I believe in you,” Galinda says softly. Her chin falls to her chest, her gaze dropping to the floor. “I-I’ve been nice. Why does Morrible get the benefit of the doubt and not me?”

And- Elphaba feels her throat swell up, any possible answer getting tangled and choked on until she can’t say a thing at all. Because Galinda has a point: she’s been nothing but nice. Elphaba has been suspicious of her kindness from the very beginning, constantly second-guessing everything the blonde did. 

Why did she trust Madame Morrible so easily? Why was it so much easier to believe Morrible than Galinda? 

There’s the tiniest of shivers wracking Galinda’s petite frame, and Elphaba abruptly feels like absolute shit. The silence stretches as she stands there and realizes she truly has no answer, not one that feels like anything more than a paltry excuse. 

Something about the way Morrible had looked at her in the courtyard had made Elphaba’s heart burst with pride and joy and giddy excitement. It was everything she’d ever hoped for- everything she’d never dared to hope for. Elphaba hadn’t questioned her for a moment. 

Something about the way Galinda had looked when she’d introduced herself by the docks had almost felt the same, so where had it been lost? Elphaba wracks her brain for the memory of what changed, of when her mind had decided that the easy way Galinda offered her friendship must be nothing more than a trap or trick or ploy. 

Does it matter? she asks herself. She’d eventually come around, after all. She’d eventually learned to let Galinda in. And she’d still been so quick to leap to judgment when Galinda had said something she didn’t agree with. 

Elphaba feels the breath gust out of her in a sigh that pulls her shoulders down and loosens the tension of her fists and frown. The previous buzzing energy in the room and under her skin has shifted into something foggy and slow. 

“I’m sorry,” Elphaba finally says, several moments too late. 

Galinda doesn’t even look up. She just lets her chin dip in a tiny nod, an acceptance that Elphaba isn’t sure she deserves. She doesn’t know why they keep ending up in this situation- with a guilty Elphaba having to rethink her every action. 

It’s not a pattern she’s particularly proud of. 

Elphaba hasn’t had to interact with many people beyond her immediate family all that much in her lifetime. There have been tutors and servants and guests of her father. But she’s never had any friends. She still doesn’t know quite where she stands with Galinda--if they’re really at the point where Elphaba can say that they’re friends and not just roommates--but she knows it won’t get any better if she keeps messing up. 

Sometimes, talking to Galinda is so easy. It’s like they’ve known each other for years. Other times, it feels like talking to Galinda is the hardest thing in the world. 

“Look,” Elphaba says gently, trying to salvage the situation. She doesn’t want to go back to the awkwardness of last weekend. “If it makes you feel better, I will keep an eye out for anything suspicious.” 

Not that she has a clue what ‘suspicious’ would even look like. 

It seems to make Galinda a little happier, though, and Elphaba can’t deny that she much prefers to see the blonde with a soft smile on her lips over the despondent frown of before. She still looks a bit apprehensive, but Elphaba lets her slip an arm around Elphaba’s on the walk to their first class and that seems to lift her mood a little. 

She’s a very tactile person, Galinda. Elphaba has noticed her starting to reach for Elphaba’s hand on numerous occasions before seeming to remember herself, and she wonders if that’s just the way Galinda is with her friends. Pfannee and ShenShen certainly don’t seem to mind entering the blonde’s personal space.  

***

Classes pass in a rush, Elphaba feeling her excitement and nerves build as sorcery class draws nearer. Morrible is a surprisingly busy person and so they’d only scheduled the class for once a week so far. Elphaba didn’t get much of a chance to do anything last week, but she’d been studying the textbooks Morrible gave her and is determined to put in a better performance this time. 

She doesn’t want to let Morrible down. 

“Elphaba?” Galinda’s voice halts her in the hallway after their last class together, a soft tether holding her back from racing to across the campus. 

“Yeah?” Elphaba asks, nearly vibrating with the need to get moving. But she’s polite, and she’s trying to figure out this friend thing the right way, so she stops and tilts her head in Galinda’s direction. 

“Just…just remember what I said? I think you’re wonderful, Elphaba, I-I really do. And I just don’t want you to be hurt if Morrible doesn’t end up being who you thought she was.”

There’s an undercurrent of emotion to Galinda’s words that Elphaba doesn’t have the patience to pick apart right now, but she feels her excitement dim slightly in the face of the smaller girl’s open expression, something genuine and serious in the lines of her face. 

Whatever Galinda’s feelings are, they don’t just seem like the desperate ploy of a jealous teenager. Elphaba swallows around the strange chill that shivers through her and nods her head silently. Something like relief seeps from Galinda’s shoulders, and the icy feeling grows. 

“Good, just-- Good. You’re going to do amazing, Elphaba, I know it.”

There. That part. The compliments that roll off Galinda’s tongue with such ease. Those aren’t the words of a jealous person. 

I believe in you, Galinda had said. Even though Elphaba had messed up twice now. 

“Thanks, Galinda.” Elphaba jerks her head in the direction of the stairs. “I’ll, uh, I’ll see you after class, yeah?”

Galinda nods quickly. She’s got her books clutched to her chest, and she looks like she wants nothing more than to come with Elphaba, but she apparently has some restraint because she just smiles and agrees. “Yes! I- I will see you then.”

“Okay.” Elphaba nods and makes herself turn away, setting off down the hall. Is Galinda’s clinginess rubbing off? It’s only been two weeks.

Elphaba glances back just once, a quick peek over her shoulder, and she almost falters at the sight of Galinda still standing where she left her, watching Elphaba as she walks away. 

***

“Concentrate, dearie. Feel your magic within you, feel it rise to the surface, feel its desire to be directed.”

Elphaba does her best. She tries to focus only on Morrible, on her calm words and her expectant tone. But for some reason, the harder she tries, the more she feels her magic slip from her grasp. It’s frustrating, not least of which because Elphaba has spent her whole life trying to suppress her magic, and now that she wants to show off, she can’t. 

Morrible is the first person in Elphaba’s life who has really taken to her and wanted her to succeed in something. Not even Elphaba’s tutors and teachers had cared as much about her education as Morrible did about Elphaba’s apparent talent for sorcery. 

The pressure of having the woman hovering so nearby, watching the coin like a hawk for even the slightest of movements, is starting to get to her. She can feel her heart beating faster and her hands getting clammier as she works to shrug off the swarming nerves. 

“Sorry,” Elphaba says, stomach clenching as the minutes tick by without any improvement. She can get the coin to wobble but not to float in the air. 

There’s a soft sigh from behind her. “It’s perfectly alright. No need to be nervous. Just…relax. And feel.” 

Easier said than done. 

Elphaba closes her eyes and tries again, but this time, the sound of Morrible’s breathing and her lingering closeness brings Galinda to her mind, the image of her wide, beseeching eyes as she cautioned Elphaba against the sorceress. Elphaba grits her teeth against the thought, trying to shove the image of Galinda away and growing frustrated when it doesn’t seem to work. 

“Sorry,” she repeats, this time on a gusty, irritated huff. 

“Is there something on your mind, Elphaba? You seem…distracted.”

Great. Morrible just had to be perceptive too. 

“I’m focusing, I promise,” Elphaba responds. She flicks her eyes up to meet Morrible’s before staring back down at the coin. The gold reflection makes her think of golden hair, thoughts of Galinda swirl through her brain once again, and she bites down on her lower lip in frustration. 

“I guess- I guess I am a little distracted,” she confesses. Several more minutes have passed and she’s barely managed to get the coin to lift onto its side. Her magic is usually sharp and reactive when she’s frustrated or angry, but today it seems to be as far away as it’s ever been. 

Morrible hums gently, moving around the table to sit in front of Elphaba, her face open and kind. “Tell me what’s on your mind,” she coaxes. 

Elphaba runs through her thoughts quickly, trying to figure out the best way to proceed. She obviously can’t tell Morrible about Galinda’s suspicions of her. She still doesn’t even know for sure if Galinda is just being jealous or if she actually knows something Elphaba doesn’t. 

“It’s…my roommate, Galinda.” Elphaba hesitates slightly. “I guess we’re still trying to figure each other out.”

Morrible’s gaze sharpens slightly. “Is something in particular troubling you?”

“No, not particularly. We had, uh, a slight argument. This week and last. I guess it’s just still on my mind. That’s all.”

“I see,” Morrible says. There’s a moment when it looks like she wants to ask more, but then she just smiles gently and reaches out to pat Elphaba’s hand. 

“You are extraordinary, Elphaba. Don’t let some silly jealous girl get in the way of your potential for greatness.”

Elphaba nibbles on her lower lip, stomach twisting as the part of her that wants to embrace the compliment tangles with the part of her that feels oddly defensive of Galinda. “I’m not sure she is jealous. Not really. She’s…my friend.”

It’s the first time she’s really said it out loud. 

Morrible gets this strange, contemplative look on her face for a moment before it clears, her smile settling into something practiced and soothing. It reminds Elphaba, oddly enough, of the way Galinda composes herself in front of their fellow students. Like a mask of politeness that shields their real thoughts from view. 

On Galinda, Elphaba had thought it was impressive how she wrangled in her usual fidgety nerves. On Morrible, it picks at her brain a little, making her reevaluate Galinda’s warning. What does Morrible feel the need to shield from Elphaba?

Why does Morrible get the benefit of the doubt and not me?

“Trust me, my dear. I know people like your roommate, always looking out for themselves. She may not seem jealous, but I would caution you against letting her get too close. I would hate to see you suffer in someone else’s trap.”

The words sting a little, making Elphaba frown. It’s nothing she hasn’t thought about Galinda herself over the past two weeks, but somehow it sounds wrong coming from Morrible. Elphaba searches the older woman’s face but sees nothing but calm honesty. Despite this, anxiety prickles under Elphaba’s skin, torn between which person to believe. 

Galinda? Or Madame Morrible?

***

That evening kicks off the first official Shiz University social event of the year: a relatively simple gathering hosted by the school to welcome all the new students and show some appreciation for the staff and school’s sponsors. 

It’s mostly a networking opportunity, allowing the students and various adults to get to know each other as well as giving the students something to dress up for and celebrate after getting through the first full week of classes. If you ask Elphaba, it’s a little odd to have a 'welcome party' on the second weekend instead of the first, but oh well. 

Galinda greets Elphaba the moment she walks through the door again, a mildly frantic expression on her face that Elphaba is beginning to become accustomed to. Galinda, she’s discovered, is a bit of a worrier. 

“You’re late!” the blonde exclaims. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” 

It’s barely been five minutes since her class is scheduled to end. Still, Elphaba resists the urge to roll her eyes and instead gives the girl a patient smile.

“I’m fine, Galinda. Just wasn’t in any rush to get back.” Her own conflicted thoughts had led her to take the long way back to the dorm, still unsure where she stands with the blonde and her dislike of Elphaba’s sorcery teacher. 

The corners of Galinda’s mouth tip down in a slight frown at that, but she seems to shake it off quickly, reaching out to grab Elphaba’s hand and tug her further into the room. “Well, we need to hurry now,” she says, pulling Elphaba toward her side. 

Elphaba almost runs into her back when she slams to a stop, dropping Elphaba’s hand like a hot coal. “Sorry!” she exclaims, whipping around to stare up at Elphaba with worried eyes. 

“It’s fine.” Elphaba can still feel the lingering warmth of Galinda’s hand in hers. She really is a much more tactile person than Elphaba is used to. “Um. What are we hurrying for?”

Galinda blinks at her for a second, then her eyes, somehow, grow even wider. Her hands fly through the air as she gestures at nothing. “The welcome party!” she cries. 

Elphaba almost snickers at the look on Galinda’s face. “Right. Of course. Because we’re…both going?”

Galinda’s eyes narrow. “Yes,” she says firmly. “Both of us are going.”

Elphaba feels her lips twitch slightly. “Hm. I really wasn’t planning on attending,” she teases. “I don’t even have an outfit.”

She has to bite down on her inner cheek to keep from laughing out loud at the absolutely scandalized look Galinda gives her. The rest of Elphaba’s personal belongings had all arrived by now, so technically she could whip something up if needed, but it was just too easy to rile Galinda up, and Elphaba couldn’t quite help herself. 

Besides. The banter makes her feel better, her previous anxiety fading in favor of amusement.  

“But you have to! Everyone will be there!” 

“It isn’t mandatory. It’s really just to meet people, Galinda. I won’t be missing out by staying here.”

Galinda gapes at her as if she just said she has three heads. Her chin ducks down, eyes zipping across the floor like she’s trying really hard to think of something. “I-I’m going though, and, and, and I don’t want to just leave you here, and then you’ll be alone, and I won’t be here, and I--”

“I’ll be fine by myself, you know,” Elphaba cuts in. Galinda is starting to ramble a bit, her breaths coming quicker as she gets herself all worked up. She feels a bit bad for teasing her now, especially since she honestly is planning on going. 

“But you have to come!” Galinda cries. It lingers in the air for a moment, Elphaba staring at her as she tries to process how quickly the conversation swung from lighthearted to panicky. 

Galinda, seemingly picking up on her own outburst, rocks on her heels, closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath. Elphaba watches, a touch fascinated, as the blonde’s previously wild expression smooths out as she blinks her eyes back open. 

Like a mask. 

“Sorry,” Galinda says, clearing her throat primly. “I got carried away, excuse me.” She smiles, something practiced and perfect. She looks much older like this, oddly enough. 

Despite the fact that Galinda seems to have caught herself, Elphaba has to wonder if continuing to indulge Galinda’s clinginess is healthy. She hadn’t realized it would make the girl so distraught to suggest that Elphaba may not come with her for the evening. 

After a brief moment of contemplation, though, Elphaba gives in with a sigh. “It’s alright,” she says. “I actually don’t mind attending.”

She almost expected Galinda to squeal or be excited. Instead, it seems the blonde is simply relieved, tension falling from her frame as she sends Elphaba a wobbly smile. She still seems to be breathing kind of heavily. 

“Great!” Galinda chirps. She swings around quickly, rustling through her wardrobe within seconds. “Alright, just, pick something nice to wear, I’ll be right back!”

With that, Galinda sweeps into the bathroom, closing the door softly and leaving Elphaba blinking in her wake. Huh. 

Shrugging, Elphaba turns to her side of the room, pulling her bag strap over her head and laying it down on her bed for now. She knows she doesn’t have nearly as many dress options as Galinda, but she’s sure she’ll have something respectable enough for a casual gathering. 

The dress she settles on is a bit plain, a deep charcoal grey that just sort of hangs on her. Still- the cut and length should be appropriate for a nice occasion, and she actually doesn’t know the exact dress code for this party. 

“Okay!” Galinda announces herself, bursting out of the bathroom in a sleeveless dress almost purply-pink in color. It’s got a deep V neckline, and the top hugs her slim form while the skirt falls in layered bunches of tulle. She’s pulled her hair into a ponytail, a skinny braid at either temple running along the side of her head. 

She looks amazing. And Elphaba is very much undressed.  

Galinda seems to catch Elphaba staring, pausing in her path to look down at herself. “What? Does it look bad?” 

“N-no! No, it looks great. Um, I didn’t realize the dress code was so fancy.” Elphaba feels her cheeks darken as she pinches the fabric of her own drab dress.  

Galinda gives her a quick once-over, eyes skimming Elphaba from head to toe. “You look good,” she says. “But I think everyone else is dressing up.”

“I don’t really have anything nicer.” Elphaba has never cared all that much about things like fashion and styling, but her skin already makes her stand out enough. She doesn’t want to also be the worst dressed person at the party. Not when her roommate looks like that. 

“That’s fine! You can borrow something of mine!” Galinda offers.

Elphaba struggles to squash an amused grin. “I’m not really a pink person,” she says politely. 

“I have things that aren’t pink!”

“…or purple. Or white. Or really anything other than black and grey.”

Galinda tips her head back to meet Elphaba’s eyes, something bright and excited gleaming in their depths. It’s a good look on her- much better than the expressions from this morning. “I can do black,” Galinda says. She nods sharply, then turns back to start picking through her things. 

Elphaba just sighs.  “Just remember we’re on a time crunch,” she reminds. Maybe if Galinda is worried about being late, she’ll give it up. 

“I’ve got it!” Galinda pops back up from behind a wardrobe door, hopping over to Elphaba’s side with a grin. She holds her hands up triumphantly, something glittery and black hanging from her fingertips. 

“Where in the world did you get that?” 

“My wardrobe, silly. It’s perfect!” 

It does look like something Galinda would own- a long tulle skirt that brushes the ground with a shimmery, sheer top layer that catches the light. Elphaba wouldn’t have blinked twice at Galinda wearing such a thing if it weren’t a rich, deep black. 

“I didn’t even know you knew what the color black was,” Elphaba says dumbly. The skirt stands out starkly against the lighter color of Galinda’s own outfit. 

“Oh, please. I have an appreciation for all colors, thank you very much. You never know what occasions you’ll be invited to. I’ve had this skirt for ages.”

“Sure, sure.” Elphaba takes the skirt with careful hands, Galinda beaming at her and rushing past to-

“Hey, wait a minute.” Galinda is now flinging open the doors to Elphaba’s only wardrobe. “Galinda.”

“Hang on, Elphaba, I know you have-- aha!” Galinda spins around, beaming as she clutches her prize. It’s a simple black mock-neck that Elphaba wouldn’t have figured would be the choice for an upscale party in the slightest. But she can see Galinda’s vision, and she has to reluctantly admit that the girl has a good eye. 

The mock neck is thin enough that she shouldn’t be too hot, and the fitted cut is flattering without exposing nearly as much skin as Galinda’s sleeveless dress. The black skirt gives the whole look an elegant and sophisticated feel. 

“See! We look great!”

Indeed, they do. They’re quite the pair standing there in front of Galinda’s mirror like this. Galinda had managed to scrounge up several pieces of glittering silver jewelry for Elphaba to wear, and while the older girl had drawn the line at letting Galinda do her hair and makeup, she has to admire the overall outcome. 

“You look beautiful,” Galinda says, and the compliment washes over Elphaba in a rush of warmth that she can’t keep from showing on her cheeks. 

“So do you. This is really impressive, Galinda.”

“You like it?” 

“I- yeah. I do.”

Galinda beams at her, eyes curling into soft crescents and a small dimple poking into one cheek. She looks so much softer, so much younger, when she smiles like this. Elphaba thinks she should do it more often. 

“Okay, good, great, that’s good, because we’re about to be late, so chop chop!” 

Just like that, Galinda is off in a whirl, rushing to grab her purse and check her makeup one last time. She reaches out to grab Elphaba’s hand again, tugging her toward the door, before dropping it with another quick “sorry!”

“It’s fine,” Elphaba says this time. “I don’t mind.”

Maybe Galinda’s clinginess is contagious. Or maybe Elphaba just likes the way the girl’s pale hand fits in hers. 

Chapter Text

There’s a strange buzz of nerves as Elphaba lets Galinda lead her into the ballroom. Tall tables have been set up everywhere, the whole place has been decorated, and already there are plenty of students and staff milling about and chatting to each other. A food and drinks table is off to one side, and there’s soft music playing in the background. 

It’s nothing like the stiff, performative functions Elphaba’s father had made her attend in the past. This is casual, easy going, something lighthearted to let the students relax and enjoy while also being somewhat productive.

Galinda’s friends swarm her immediately, telling her how gorgeous she looks in her dress. While Galinda had been right that the grey dress would’ve been underwhelming, Elphaba can instantly tell that the two of them are the best dressed there. 

It makes her shrink slightly, unsure of herself as the eyes looking at Galinda suddenly turn their attention to her. Of course- she shouldn’t have worried. Not with Galinda at her side. 

“Doesn’t she look great!” the girl prompts. “I’ll give myself a little credit, though; I did pick the skirt out. Right, Elphaba?”

Galinda smiles brightly, giving Elphaba the perfect opening to just nod along while also getting rid of anything negative the other students could say about her outfit. After all, they wouldn’t want to offend Galinda. 

The blonde’s been going out of her way all week to get her friends to compliment Elphaba ever since the older girl mentioned that they were still saying mean things about her behind Galinda’s back. Elphaba considered telling her she really didn’t need to do that- but she can’t help the tiny part of her that wants to fit in. That has always wanted to fit in. 

The group manages to disperse slightly after that, several of the other students breaking off to talk to some of the adults or upperclassmen. Galinda steers Elphaba toward the drink table first so she has something to swirl in her hand before she sets off to greet just about everyone there. 

It’s a bit of a whirlwind if Elphaba is being honest. Galinda somehow seems to already know everybody’s name, and she appears to be in her element as she flits from table to table, tossing out perfect smiles and light bits of chatter. Everyone loves her. They look for any reason to get her to stick around, but she’s an absolute magician at gracefully excusing herself to go see someone else. 

Elphaba lets herself fall into the role of Galinda’s green shadow, allowing the blonde to introduce her and nodding politely as needed but otherwise going mostly unnoticed. It’s still lightyears better than the looks of disgust she used to get at the stuffy functions of her youth. 

“And this is my friend, Elphaba Thropp!” Galinda keeps saying. It sparks something warm in Elphaba’s stomach, soothing her previous nerves at the confidence with which Galinda says that word.

Friend.

Elphaba wonders if the other girl realizes how much it means to Elphaba. She wonders if the other girl could ever understand what it’s like to be lonely.

Time blurs and warps as Elphaba does her best to keep up with all the new names and faces. She shakes hand after hand, smiling and occasionally answering a question like how yes, she is that Thropp.

Galinda seems to have a knack for knowing when it’s all getting a bit overwhelming, pulling Elphaba off to the snacks table or finding them a space near the wall to breathe for a moment. Elphaba appreciates it more than she can say, Galinda tucking them behind one of the ballroom’s mighty columns as she hands Elphaba a bite-sized dessert. 

“Don’t you want one for yourself?” Elphaba asks, popping the delicious morsel in her mouth. Galinda hasn’t actually eaten anything, and while the drink in her hand has changed a few times, she’s yet to see the girl take a proper sip. 

“Oh no, I’m good. I never eat at things like this if I can help it.”

“Why not?”

Galinda shrugs, waving a hand through the air like it’s no big deal. “Nerves, I guess.”

Nerves? Elphaba runs her gaze over Galinda once more, paying more attention now. But Galinda is nothing but composed, a small smile on her lips as she mouths something across the room to where ShenShen is beckoning. No one would be able to tell that she was nervous about anything. 

“Well, you should still at least try to drink some water,” Elphaba advises. There’s a hint of amusement in Galinda’s eyes when she tilts her head back to look up at Elphaba. 

“Thanks, Elphaba. Um, do you mind if I go chat with ShenShen real quick? I spotted Dr. Dillamond over by the drinks if you wanted some time to say hello.”

Elphaba agrees easily, letting Galinda bounce off to catch up with her other friends. She has been hogging her a bit, she supposes, but she feels oddly bereft without Galinda by her side. She scouts the room for a familiar face and, sure enough, spots Dr. Dillamond talking with the Bird professor, Dr. Mombi. 

Eager to introduce herself--Dr. Mombi teaches the biological arts to the upperclassmen--she hustles over, letting the time slide by naturally as she gets caught up in conversation. Talking with the professors is much easier than gossiping with the students or trying to impress the school’s sponsors. 

Elphaba knows a lot of the students here tonight are hoping to make good connections in the various areas where they wish to one day start their careers. But for Elphaba, there’s only one person at Shiz who she needs to impress for her own path of studies. Speaking of…where is Madame Morrible?

Elphaba glances around, noting absently that it’s gotten properly dark outside and many of the attendees have already taken their leave. She’s sure she would’ve noticed her sorcery teacher had she been there when they were doing their rounds earlier, so a part of her wonders if Morrible simply decided not to come. 

Except- there! Elphaba grins as she spots Morrible’s distinctive pale hair behind a group of students, her back turned to Elphaba. She weaves her way across the ballroom, thankful she’d decided to stick to her practical black boots instead of letting Galinda convince her to wear heels. 

Elphaba’s not certain she even owns a pair of heels. 

“Madame Morrible!” Elphaba calls out as she approaches. A gap forms in the students in her way in time for her to see Morrible turn her head at the sound, and she’s about to call out again when she notices who, exactly, the older woman is talking to. 

Galinda? 

“Oh, hello, dearie. We were just talking about you.”

“You…were?” Elphaba eyes Galinda curiously, taking in the way the girl sends her a shaky smile. There’s something off about the energy between the two, Morrible and Galinda that is. The nerves Galinda had mentioned earlier seem much more noticeable in the presence of the sorceress. 

“Why, of course. Galinda here was so eager to talk to me. But we don’t have much in common besides you, my dear.” Morrible beckons Elphaba closer, reaching out to place a hand on her arm and giving her a smile. 

Galinda wanted to talk to Morrible? Elphaba fights the muscles in her mouth that want to tip into a frown. She glances at her roommate again, taking in the way her fingers are pulling at each other, a nervous gesture she doesn’t normally see outside their dorm. 

“I was a-actually just about to come find you,” Galinda whispers. Her eyes flick from Morrible to Elphaba, landing on the hand Morrible still has laid over Elphaba’s arm. 

“Me too,” Elphaba says slowly. She feels like she just interrupted something. Like she walked in on a scene she wasn’t supposed to see. 

It makes sense, though, right? Of course Galinda would want to talk to Morrible. 

Or does it? If she doesn’t trust Morrible…why seek her out?

Shaking herself internally, Elphaba moves out from Morrible’s hand to instead slide her own into Galinda’s, knocking the girl’s nervous fingers aside so she stops hurting herself. She doesn’t notice the way Morrible’s gaze locks onto the gesture, eyes tightening and lips thinning. 

“Sorry, I lost track of time.” Elphaba gives Galinda’s hand a soft squeeze and then turns her attention back to Morrible. “Have you been enjoying your evening, Madame Morrible?”

They maintain a light level of small talk for a few minutes, but Elphaba still feels like there’s an underlying tension that she’s not been told the cause of. It slithers uncomfortably into her stomach, making her pulse race a little with the fear of the unknown. A part of her just wants to wrap it up so she can ask Galinda what she was talking about before Elphaba walked over. 

Galinda isn’t doing much talking now, however. Morrible doesn’t so much as glance at her while she chats with Elphaba, and Galinda seems more than content to just stand there, angled slightly so she’s practically behind Elphaba instead of by her side. Her palm is cold and clammy in Elphaba’s, and she can practically taste the other girl’s nervous energy. 

She really doesn’t like Morrible, does she. 

“Well, I’d really love to keep talking, Madame, but it looks like everyone’s just about leaving now. Did you want us to stay and help with the cleanup?” It’s an empty gesture, one she knows Morrible will decline, but it’s an easy way to politely start making their goodbyes. 

It doesn’t even look like ShenShen and Pfannee have stuck around this long, and Galinda nods quickly when Elphaba double-checks that the other girl wants to leave. She hasn’t spoken since Elphaba took her hand. This time, it’s the older girl leading the way as they head back to the dorm. 

“Are you alright?” Elphaba finally asks. “You seem…quiet.”

“I’m fine. Just tired. That went longer than I thought it would.”

“Yeah, I’m ready to get out of this outfit,” Elphaba teases. It doesn’t get the response she wants, though, and Galinda just nods, humming agreeably. It’s like she walked out of the party a completely different person than she walked into it as. 

Out of her own cowardice, Elphaba doesn’t push the matter, instead just opening the door and quietly getting ready for bed. She hands her skirt to Galinda once she’s done, and it seems to perk the other girl up a little more. 

“Did you have a good time?” Galinda asks. She runs her fingers over the soft tulle, looping it over her arm as she turns to find it a hanger. 

“I did, yeah. I’m glad I went.” If only because she did enjoy talking to Dillamond and Mombi. And it…wasn’t terrible, doing the rounds with Galinda at her side. 

“Good!” Galinda reappears sans skirt, already dressed in her nightclothes with a pale pink robe thrown over top. It’s been two weeks and Elphaba has yet to see Galinda even wear the same pajamas twice. “No one said anything strange, right?”

“Strange? Like what?”

Galinda pauses, cheeks flushing slightly. “About your, um, verdigris?” 

Verdigris. She’s never actually heard someone else use the term before. “No, no one said anything.” In fact, Elphaba had noted that herself as the evening continued, amazed at the easy way in which people accepted her when Galinda was there with her shiny smile and casual compliments. 

“Hey, Galinda?”

“Hm?”

“Did…did anyone say anything strange to you?”

A tiny crease of confusion appears between Galinda’s brows. “Me?”

Elphaba cringes, ditching subtlety in favor of her typical bluntness. “Madame Morrible. Did she say anything to you? You seemed, um, a little uncomfortable when I came over.”

“Oh.” Galinda sucks in a breath, eyes edging away from Elphaba when she answers. “No, nothing strange. We had barely started talking when you arrived.”

“Are you sure?”

That pulls Galinda’s gaze back, her face softening as she pads a few steps closer. “I’m sure, Elphaba. You don’t have to worry about me.”

But that’s the weirdest part. Despite Galinda’s claims and Elphaba’s own brain telling her to just let it go, she can’t quite squash the part of her that does worry. The part of her that seems certain that there is, in fact, something to worry about. 

Chapter Text

If Elphaba thought the weekend would be less stressful, she was far from correct. Galinda’s sparkly pink calendar is now in full swing, waking her at dawn to get ready for the several events she’d apparently scheduled for the day. 

Galinda waking up early, unfortunately, meant Elphaba had to wake up early because, as much as she can tell the other girl tries, she’s not exactly the quietest when she’s hustling about. Elphaba at least can bury herself down in her bed and not have to worry about getting up just yet.

At least. She thought she didn’t have to get up just yet.

“Come on, Elphaba! It’s tomorrow, and we’ve got things to do!”

Elphaba groans, her voice muffled by her pillow. “You have things to do,” she shoots back. She doesn’t have a clue where Galinda gets all her energy from, especially since Elphaba could hear her tossing around still when she slipped off to sleep last night.

“Yes, and you are coming with me!” Galinda cheerfully replies. 

“I do not remember agreeing to that.”

“It was implied.”

“When have I ever implied that??”

Galinda clicks her tongue, her voice much too chipper for the way the sun is still clinging to the horizon. “I don’t see why you’re complaining. You’re already awake.”

“Awake is different than up. And I’d really rather not be awake this early.”

“It’s not as if you didn’t get enough sleep. We went to bed at the same time.”

“Galinda, we went to bed at almost midnight. It’s dawn.” 

“I’m not seeing the issue.”

Elphaba groans again, rolling over onto her back so she can turn her head and glare at the blonde across the room. “You’re crazy.”

“Crazy organized! And if you’re not up in the next ten minutes, we will be late. So hustle up, get moving!”

Galinda sends her a dazzling smile, hair up in curlers but her makeup already finished. Elphaba knows it’s pointless to argue. She does wait the full ten minutes, though, just to be a brat. When she finally pulls herself out of bed, Galinda has a cup of tea ready and waiting for her, and an outfit already picked out. 

“I can choose my own clothes, Galinda,” Elphaba grumbles. Secretly, she actually appreciates the gesture. She doesn’t even know what occasion Galinda is dragging her off to in the first place, let alone what the dress code for it is. 

Besides. She can admit that fashion is not her strong suit, and Galinda clearly has an eye for making even the simple things look flattering.

“You’re welcome!” Galinda says breezily, skipping right over Elphaba’s lingering sleepy attitude. Wherever they’re going, it’s much more casual than last evening, the dress Galinda has on short and simple with wide stripes of pink plaid. 

Elphaba finishes getting dressed, washing her face and twisting her hair into a large braid down her back. It still amuses her how much less time it takes her to be ready to leave compared to Galinda, the blonde still pulling her own locks into a loose, curly ponytail, a few strands left to frame her face. 

“Here,” she says, pushing a long length of pink ribbon into Elphaba’s hands. “Can you tie this for me?”

“Oh. Uh, sure.” Elphaba forces her thought to remain steady as she lifts her fingers and carefully wraps the ribbon around Galinda’s ponytail holder, tying it into a bow. Galinda stands in front of her, the top of her head just about at Elphaba’s chin level.

The ribbon is long enough that even after tying it, the ends float down past Galinda’s slightly tense shoulders. Her skin is milky and smooth, the sharp edges of her collarbone standing out when she spins back around. Elphaba blinks quickly, taking a step back as Galinda smiles at her. 

“Thanks! Now, come on!”

And off they were- Galinda pulling Elphaba out the door to start the day’s activities. Gone was the quiet, nervous Galinda of last night and the confident, charming Galinda mask was firmly in place. Apparently, ‘breakfast’ is the first order of the day, a group of students waving them over to a gazebo where a spread of light pastries awaits. 

The day continues in much the same fashion as the morning with Galinda buzzing around from place to place and Elphaba stumbling along behind her. The younger girl ducks back into their dorm to change outfits twice, though thankfully, she doesn’t demand that Elphaba do the same. 

Even the few hours penned in as a ‘study break’ are mostly Galinda catering to other people, her blonde head bobbing down the table as she helps anyone who asks with their homework. 

Elphaba finds her attention torn away from her own books more than once to watch the way Galinda interacts with the other students. As the afternoon drags on, she can tell the fast-paced schedule is getting to the girl, her movements a little slower and her smile a little stiffer. 

By the time they get back to the dorms that evening, even Elphaba feels exhausted herself and she’s done little more than sit in the background all day. She exits the bathroom to the sight of Galinda laying out outfits for the next day and has to bite back a long groan of complaint. 

“There’s no way you can keep doing this every day,” Elphaba says, flopping gracelessly onto her bed.  

“What do you mean?”

“Your crazy calendar! I barely survived today, let alone a whole month of this.”

Galinda spins around at that, something panicked flashing across her face. “I’m sorry!” she cries. “I didn’t mean to wear you out, promise. I- we- I can try and find some more time for breaks, or maybe you can--”

“I can just…stay here, ya know. I doubt your friends will mind.” They’ll probably appreciate it. 

Galinda rocks back and forth, shaking her excess energy out of her hands before she catches herself and tangles them together. “I don’t want you to feel left out,” Galinda says. “A-and I like spending time with you.”

“I know. But we don’t have to spend every minute together.” 

Galinda had been doing well at giving Elphaba a bit more space this week compared to last, so Elphaba’s not sure why she now seems so intent on not letting Elphaba out of her sight again. She wants to get this friendship thing right, she does, but she knows herself well enough to know she’s going to snap sooner or later if she has to keep getting dragged along to these inane little social outings. 

Nervous Galinda seems to have returned in response to her declaration, though, and the blonde seems almost unable to process the idea of letting Elphaba stay at the dorm all day. “Or the library,” Elphaba offers, though she can immediately tell that’s not any better. Not to Galinda. 

“It won’t always be so hectic,” Galinda tries. “This is the first weekend anyone’s made any plans. Things will be a lot more casual going forward, I promise!”

“Galinda, I’ve seen your calendar. ‘Less hectic’ is still way more hours spent socializing than I’m comfortable with. I’m sorry, but schoolwork is really important to me, and I just don’t see how I’ll have the time or energy for it if I’m attending tea parties all the time.”

“I can help you study!”

“That’s not the point, Galinda.”

Galinda seems torn between her commitments to her friends and her desire not to part with Elphaba. But Elphaba stays firm on not letting herself be dragged around again tomorrow, planning instead to take some time to check in on Nessarose and maybe find that little alcove again for some relaxed reading.

Eventually, her roommate has to concede defeat. When Elphaba wakes the next morning, she’s surprised to find that she’s alone. Instead of the usual sight of a busy blonde buzzing around, there’s only a still-warm mug of tea on her nightstand and a small pink note. A glance at the window shows that it’s hours past when Elphaba had been forced awake just yesterday.

It’s even more interesting watching Galinda from afar, Elphaba occasionally spotting her trotting around campus with a pack of fellow students as she walks from library to dorm. She doesn’t see the girl at lunch or dinner, but she pops into the suite a few times to change outfits, touch up her makeup, and ask Elphaba how her day is going.

Elphaba feels that small worried part of her grow a little as she observes the younger girl. Galinda, for all that she seems to have endless amounts of energy, is still only human. As the week starts up again and the girls get back to their regular routine of classes, Elphaba notices that the nervous side of Galinda has not seemed to wane any. 

If anything, it’s getting worse. She’s great at hiding it, Elphaba will give her credit for that, but the cracks tend to show more when it’s just the two of them in the dorm every evening, and Elphaba can tell the girl is getting even less sleep than before. She’s slower going through her morning routine, the circles under her eyes so dark that her makeup barely covers them. 

Whenever Elphaba tries to suggest she slow down a little, though, she just seems to get overwhelmed. She gets worked up all too easily, her breaths coming in quick bursts as she rambles in stuttery sentences about how much work she has to do. 

Elphaba isn’t entirely sure what this ‘work’ actually is, only that it’s important to Galinda. And that the girl has an absolutely terrible habit of not wanting to let anyone down. Elphaba has started trying to intervene whenever someone asks for Galinda to come help them with something, but the younger girl just never says no. 

Despite her earlier claims, she ends up allowing Galinda to bring her along to a few outings that week, if only so that she can try and prevent the girl from constantly being taken advantage of. Some of the students ask for the most ridiculous things- one guy even suggested that Galinda model for him. Nude.

Thankfully, that one had been gracefully turned down. But still- Galinda often gave in to just about anything someone wanted, from helping pick out costumes for an upcoming student performance to choosing decorations for an older girl’s party next month to helping edit a classmate’s math homework.

“You don’t have to say yes all the time,” Elphaba tells her. 

“It’s fine, Elphaba. It makes them happy when I help out.”

“Why do you even care so much what other people think? You’re Galinda Upland.”

But Galinda just laughs, a bitter sound that escapes her lips in a harsh bark. “That’s just it,” she says. “Galinda Upland would be no one without the others. It’s not about aptitude, it’s the way you’re viewed.”

Elphaba sighs, shaking her head. It makes sense, she supposes. Like networking. “I didn’t realize being popular was such a big deal.”

Sometimes, Elphaba has to remind herself that Galinda is just a teenager. It’s just…there are times, like right now, that she gets this look on her face. Something achingly sad and tired, like Galinda is actually much much older than she appears.  

“Trust me,” the blonde says. “Being popular is everything.”

***

The thing is- Elphaba knows that Galinda is right. Being popular is a power all its own, something Elphaba has seen Galinda wield with ease. Galinda has continued to advocate for their Animal professors, bringing it up so casually even Elphaba didn’t realize what she was doing at first.

She remembers the way Galinda had so easily stood up for Dr. Dillamond, and it makes her heart swell a little with the knowledge that she’d somehow managed to become friends with someone who truly cares.

Just being around and associated with Galinda’s popularity has rubbed off on Elphaba too, and for the first time in her life, Elphaba finds herself surrounded by people who truly don’t seem to care that she’s green.

The whispers in the hallways and in the back of classrooms have been silenced, and the lingering dirty looks from Pfannee and ShenShen and some of the other students have faded into passing neutral glances. Even the students from Munchkinland that may have teased her before will give her nods of greeting in the hallways.

“Miss Elphaba!” a familiar voice breaks Elphaba from her thoughts. She’s just been staring down the hallway at where Galinda is surrounded by a small group, waiting patiently for the other girl to escape so they can head back to their dorm. 

Galinda had been particularly wired today, stressing about her clothes and her hair and all the little things that normally she handled with ease. Elphaba had indulged her in a bit of extra clinginess since it seemed that she was having a bit of a rough day.

“Oh, Madame Morrible! Good afternoon.” Elphaba blinks quickly, shifting her attention to her sorcery teacher. 

“Yes, yes it is. I wanted to let you know that I’ve gotten permission to extend my sorcery seminar to meet twice a week. Head Shizstress Coddle already cleared it with your current schedule!”

“Twice a week?”

“Yes, this is great news. We’ll be able to make much more progress this way. Why, I’d prefer to even meet three or four times a week if I could fit it in.”

Elphaba feels nervous excitement flutter in her stomach. This is great news. Right? Her third session with Madame Morrible is tomorrow, and it already feels like years have passed since last week. Though, that may be in part due to how busy she’s been these last six days.

“And remember, dear. No distractions,” Morrible leaves her with. Her eyes flick over Elphaba’s shoulder pointedly before she turns and walks away. When Elphaba turns around, she’s not surprised to see Galinda standing there, her books clutched to her chest as she takes in the scene. 

“Hey,” Elphaba calls softly. There’s something about the way Galinda is watching her, eyes dark beneath her lashes. 

“Hi,” Galinda whispers back. She approaches slowly, gaze following Morrible’s retreating form. “What was that about?”

Elphaba explains it to her, showing her the new schedule and keeping her tone light and casual. Galinda’s expression still seems closed off, though, and Elphaba feels her own excitement dim slightly. 

“That’s great, Elphaba,” Galinda finally says. But it lacks the usual cheer that Galinda is known for, and Elphaba can’t help feeling like the girl really means the exact opposite. 

***

That night, Galinda seems even more on edge than usual, jumping at every sound as Elphaba gets ready for bed. 

“Sorry,” Elphaba says for the third time when the bang of her wardrobe closing makes the other girl flinch. 

“It’s fine,” Galinda says quickly, but there’s an anxious buzz to the air in the room as Galinda runs her brush through perfectly detangled hair over and over and over again. She goes to reach for something on her vanity and accidentally knocks over a small vase of makeup brushes, a few of them rolling off the edge and clattering to the floor. 

It’s such an innocuous little thing, but it feels like the last straw for Galinda, her eyes squeezing shut as a soft whine builds in her throat. Her hands shake as she kneels to scoop them up, and Elphaba spots tears pooling at the edge of the blonde’s brown eyes. 

“Are you okay, Galinda?” she asks. It’s a stupid question when the answer is very clearly no, but Galinda shoots back an “I’m fine” regardless. 

“No, really,” Elphaba says. She takes a step closer, reaching out to help Galinda gather everything and stick them back in the vase. This close, she can see that all of Galinda is trembling slightly, her pulse racing under her skin when Elphaba grabs her hand.

“Hey,” she murmurs. “Breathe.”

Galinda has a habit of doing this, her breaths getting so quick they start to trip over themselves. Often it comes when she’s overthinking something like whether she has time to fit in a fashion consult with ShenShen before class or whether the clouds on the horizon meant it would rain during the scheduled brunch the next day. 

She’s usually pretty good at calming herself down, but Elphaba can’t just sit here and watch her fall apart. She’s still kneeling on the floor, her hands fisted in her skirt as her chest heaves with wheezy gasps. This incident seems particularly bad.

“Breathe, Galinda.”

“I-I-I am,” Galinda chokes out, her eyes closed to ward off the building tears. 

“Slower,” Elphaba instructs, taking her own deep breath in example. She squeezes Galinda’s hand in the same steady rhythm, watching closely as Galinda tries to follow along. 

The sound of Galinda’s labored efforts makes Elphaba’s heart clench, a horrible noise that makes her want to pull the girl closer, holding her close until she realizes she doesn’t need to give so much of herself to the world. Not when it’s taking everything she has.

They stay on the floor for several minutes until Galinda seems to steady herself and blinks her eyes back open. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. 

“You’re okay; don’t apologize. Do you feel better now?”

Galinda nods, but there are lines of exhaustion on her face, and her eyes are hooded like she wants nothing more than to close them and fall right asleep. Elphaba helps her to her feet, still holding her hand, and sits her on the edge of her plush pink bed. 

“You’re doing too much,” Elphaba gently scolds. She pushes a slightly lukewarm cup of tea she’d been drinking herself into the girl’s hands. “I told you you would stretch yourself too thin. You can’t keep going like this.”

“I’ve done it before,” Galinda mumbles. 

“That doesn’t mean it’s healthy, Galinda.” Elphaba sighs. 

“I’m sorry,” Galinda says again. Elphaba bites her tongue to keep from snapping at her stop apologizing and listen. 

“You don’t need to apologize to me. Just…maybe consider slowing down a little? You’re stressing yourself out for no reason. Half these things on your calendar are just clubs who want to use you so they get better attention from the student body.”

“It’s important,” Galinda whispers. She presses her hands to her face and takes a shaky deep breath, her next words so muffled Elphaba isn’t sure they were meant for her ears. “I don’t have enough time.”

“Time for what?” Elphaba can’t help but ask.

“Nothing,” Galinda whispers. “Just…good impressions.”

“Galinda, you’ve already made the best impression possible. Literally the whole school loves you. You have nothing to prove to these people.”

There’s something conflicted in Galinda’s expression as she swallows hard and looks away. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Just, consider it, okay? I’m worried about you.”

Galinda blinks up at her, tired and pale, but there’s a little spark in her eyes that Elphaba can just barely spot through the tears. She doesn’t know if it’s gratefulness or surprise, but it makes her cheeks darken either way.

“What? We’re friends now, right? I care about my friends.”

Elphaba turns away to give Galinda space to gather herself and finish getting ready for bed, her own routine already complete. Usually, Galinda preferred to escape to the bathroom when she got worked up, but this time she stays slumped on the edge of her bed, her hands playing with the ties of her robe. 

She still seems unsettled, and Elphaba already knows the next few hours will be spent listening to her toss and turn. Eventually, Elphaba herself nods off, but her sleep is light and restless, and it doesn’t take much to jerk her back awake. 

She’s familiar with the sounds of Galinda rustling around and huffing in frustration at her own insomnia. She’s not familiar with the sound of Galinda’s tiny whimpers as she trembles under the sheets. 

Elphaba fights with herself for barely a moment before she’s slipping out of bed and making her way across the room.

“Galinda?” she calls softly. The other girl’s face is twisted in an expression somewhere between pain and terror, her body curled into the tiniest of balls as she shakes and shivers. “Galinda, hey, wake up.”

She reaches a tentative hand out to shake the girl awake, but the minute she makes contact, Galinda jerks upright with a cry, a shout of “NO!” escaping her lips. Elphaba jumps back, startled, as the other girl pants for air, panic written all over her face. 

“Galinda?” The blonde’s head whips her way. Her eyes are wide and wild, and she’s staring at Elphaba as though she’s seen a ghost. Whatever her nightmare was about, it seems to have truly rattled her, turning her pale as a sheet and curling her hair at her temples with beads of sweat. 

“E-elphie?” Galinda’s voice cracks on every syllable, and the tears come sudden and fast, flooding the blonde’s brown eyes and pouring down her cheeks. She chokes on a sob, scrambling against the sheets to stretch a trembling hand Elphaba’s way. “Elphie.”

Elphaba isn’t sure what to do. She’s never been the most natural at comforting other people. Galinda’s hand finds Elphaba’s sleeve and the blonde nearly doubles over with sobs, her fingers curling around the fabric in an iron grip. “Elphie,” Galinda says again, apparently the only word she’s capable of at the moment. 

Elphaba swallows her reserve and lays a gentle hand over Galinda’s shaking one. “It’s okay,” she tries. “It was just a nightmare. I’m here, and you’re okay.”

Galinda is still looking at her like she’s a ghost. “You’re here,” she sobs. “You’re here.”

Oz, what was that nightmare about??

“Yes, I’m here, Galinda. Whatever you were dreaming about, it wasn’t real. I’m real, and I’m right here.”

Galinda takes a few ragged breaths, hand still clenched in Elphaba’s sleeve, before she suddenly surges forward, nearly tackling Elphaba as she dives into the green girl’s arms. Elphaba just barely keeps from falling, her arms coming around the petite form on instinct as Galinda buries her face in the dip of Elphaba’s neck and starts to sob in earnest.

Despite the fact that they’ve only known each other for a few weeks, it feels all too easy to slide onto the bed and hold Galinda on her lap. The sound of her sobs, loud and painful, tears at Elphaba’s chest, making her feel unsettled and desperate. She never wants to hear Galinda cry like this. Her whole body is trembling, is falling apart in Elphaba’s arms, and Elphaba just holds on as tight as she can as though that will be enough to keep Galinda together. 

“It’s okay, Galinda,” she keeps repeating. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

She’s not sure why, but she just knows that it’s what the girl needs to hear. Galinda always seems mildly panicked whenever Elphaba leaves her alone for too long, and the older girl is starting to wonder if maybe there’s a darker reason behind the clinginess she’s gotten used to.

She runs her fingers through Galinda’s blonde hair, gently untangling it in easy, soothing strokes as she lets Galinda cry it out. She’s never seen someone so distraught over a simple nightmare before, but it’s breaking her heart to see Galinda this way, so she’ll do whatever she can to help. 

Galinda is mumbling something into her shoulder, but it’s too soft for Elphaba to pick up. She just keeps stroking her hair and talking to her, breathing deeply and hoping Galinda can’t feel the way her own heart is racing in her chest. 

“I’m here,” she soothes. “Just breathe, it’s all okay now.”

It takes several long moments before the sobs subside enough for Elphaba to pick up on what Galinda is saying, and when she finally realizes, she almost starts crying herself. 

“I’m sorry,” Galinda is whispering, over and over and over again. “I’m sorry, Elphie, I’m so sorry.”

“No, Galinda,” Elphaba says, suddenly feeling oddly choked up. She swallows hard. “You have nothing to apologize for. It was just a nightmare, but it’s over now. I’m right here. And you don’t need to apologize to me for anything.”

Galinda shudders against her, her breaths quick and unsteady. “You don’t know that,” she says, still with her face pressed to Elphaba’s shoulder. “W-what if- what if I-”

“Shhh. It was just a nightmare,” Elphaba repeats. 

Galinda shakes her head, her hair catching on Elphaba’s fingers. “I was horrible,” Galinda whimpers. “I was so awful to you. I-I was- I was wicked.”

Elphaba feels a shiver crawl down her spine at the way Galinda all but spits out the last word, her chest heaving afterward like just the effort of saying it stole the very air from her lungs. She holds Galinda even tighter. 

She’s spent so much time doubting Galinda. So much time worried that Galinda would turn on her, was using her, was not the friend she said she was. But—

I believe in you. Why does Morrible get the benefit of the doubt and not me?

“You could never be wicked,” Elphaba says firmly. She’s not sure where the sudden confidence comes from, but she feels the honesty in her words down to her very core, feels a heat rush through her and tingle in her palms like her magic is on the brink of bursting. “Not to me. You’re my friend.”

Galinda suddenly shoves away from her, sitting back just enough to be able to meet Elphaba’s gaze, their faces mere inches apart. There’s something raw and wild in Galinda’s eyes, her cheeks wet and her eyes red-rimmed. She’s gaping at Elphaba, her breaths coming fast fast fast. Her gaze dips down, lips parting. 

For a moment, Elphaba think she might—

She looks like she’s about to—

But then Galinda just throws her arms back around Elphaba and falls into her once again. She sinks this time, no longer stiff and shaking, but malleable and soft with just the slightest tremble to her frame. She seems to fit just perfectly in Elphaba’s space, curling around her and tucking her chin over her shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Galinda breathes. It shivers through the air, racing across Elphaba’s skin and down her bones and sinking deep into her heart. Something changes, there in the pink-lit shadows of the girls’ shared room. 

Elphaba doesn’t know what it is yet. She still feels as though she’s missing something. But she presses a hand against Galinda’s back and feels the way their heartbeats line up as they sit chest to chest, and she thinks—

I believe in you, too.

Chapter Text

They don’t talk about it. 

Elphaba wakes in her own bed the next morning to Galinda already going through her normal routine, a determined glint to the girl’s eyes that tells Elphaba that Galinda would like to pretend last night never happened. 

That’s fine with Elphaba, really. She has no idea what she would even say. She’s still too busy processing it on her own. 

The last day of classes passes in a trance, Elphaba unable to stop herself from watching Galinda out of the corner of her eye. It’s almost impressive how easily she goes about her day as if nothing at all ever happened. 

The sight of her smiling and laughing and bustling about makes something slick and slimy curl in Elphaba’s gut. She can’t help but wonder how many nightmares Galinda has had that Elphaba hasn’t woken up for. How many times has the girl’s restless nights been covered up by concealer and fake smiles?

Elphaba has a feeling Galinda knows she’s being watched, but she does an admirable job of ignoring Elphaba despite the fact that they sit together in most of their classes now. Neither of them mentions how Elphaba has her next sorcery lesson with Morrible later today. 

No distractions, Elphaba had promised. She takes a deep breath outside the classroom door, trying her best to shove all things pink and blonde from her head. Galinda hadn’t say anything to her this time, but the look she gave Elphaba as the older girl walked away lingers in Elphaba’s mind.

“We’re going to try something new today,” Madame Morrible explains when she enters. 

“Something new?”

“Yes. Levitation is a good place to start and something we’ll certainly return to, but there are many types of magic, my dear. I, for example, am strongest at weather manipulation. Perhaps we just need to find what you’re strongest at.”

That perks Elphaba up a little, the idea of trying out new types of magic. Struggling to lift a coin every lesson was going to grow old very quickly, and while she knows it’s what Morrible started with because it’s the talent she showed in the courtyard, the prospect of discovering new areas of magic intrigues her.

They begin with weather, Morrible summoning a breeze that coalesces into a tiny white cloud right there in the classroom. She makes it look so easy, so effortless, but even Elphaba’s light studying of the subject is enough to know that what she’s seeing surpasses nearly every other magic user in Oz.

For Elphaba, they start much smaller. Air, she thinks. Just enough to push the cloud. 

She lets herself get lost in it, the concentration pushing all other thoughts aside. They run through several small exercises, each one a different type of magic, from lighting a candle to growing a flower to changing the color of a book. Despite her repeated failures, Morrible compliments her efforts. 

“This isn’t something you master overnight,” the sorceress explains. “It took me many years to get to where I am today.”

Elphaba still feels disappointed in herself, but she tries not to let it show in front of Morrible. It’s just…Elphaba knows she has power. She’s seen herself launch rocks and break glass and even hold the weight of her sister in the air. Why can she do that, but she can’t lift a coin?

“It’s about control, my dear. All the power in the world means nothing if you don’t have control. Not just of your magic but of your feelings as well. You have to know how to channel them into giving you the best outcome.”

Control. For some reason, the thought brings Galinda back to her mind. The easy way in which Galinda can move the student body, shaping perception to her will. Galinda is always in control of herself and her emotions. Or at least- she tries to be. 

***

That night, Elphaba watches closely as Galinda gets ready for bed. When she leaves the bathroom with her makeup all washed off, the older girl can clearly see the bruise-like bags under her eyes, her chest tightening as she thinks about what is causing it. She doesn’t know how to bring up her suspicion with the other girl, their friendship still too fragile and new. But she wants to help. 

“I could make you something,” Elphaba offers. Galinda startles at the sudden voice. “To help you sleep, that is.”

Galinda’s brow crinkles slightly. “Like tea? I’ve tried it before, but I’m not a big fan of tea before bed.”

Elphaba shakes her head. “No, not- not tea. Um. My favorite flower is poppies, and the pollen from poppies, it tends to--”

But Galinda is already shaking her head. Vehemently. She’s tense all over, shuffling backward as she says, with no room for argument, “No.” 

Elphaba stutters to an awkward stop, mouth still parted around her cut-off words. There’s some strange expression twisting across Galinda’s fair face, and Elphaba can’t quite figure it out. 

Just when I thought I was understanding you. 

“It’s perfectly safe,” she explains. “I’ve had it before myself.”

Galinda just shakes her head harder, fingers curling into trembling fists that she presses to her thighs. “No, Elphaba.” Her voice comes out deeper than usual, nearly a growl. It takes Elphaba aback, not used to hearing Galinda sound like that. 

The blonde seems to catch herself, closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath. “Sorry,” she says after a moment. Her eyes are hiding something when they reopen, looking just to the side of Elphaba instead of right at her. “I- I appreciate the offer, Elphaba, I do. I just…don’t like the idea of my body being forced to sleep that way.”

There was something about that wording, something that stuck out to Elphaba, that didn’t seem right. She tucks it away to consider later, for now just nodding and apologizing for offering. 

“It’s fine,” Galinda waves away. “You meant well.”

They leave the conversation there, moving easily to lighter topics. But it lingers in Elphaba’s mind nonetheless. She does want to help in some way- because that nightmare had scared her. It really had. And she never wants to see Galinda like that ever again. 

***

The weekend is supposed to be relaxing. Fun. A time to chill out and not have to worry about class for a moment. Elphaba is supposed to be able to enjoy the weekend. 

“Supposed to” being the key words. 

The problem--as is becoming the standard in her life these days--is that Galinda seems to have taken exactly none of Elphaba’s warnings to heart. Elphaba wakes to an empty dorm on Saturday--still baffled by how Galinda has suddenly become so quiet in the mornings--and another hot mug of tea and pale pink note. 

Galinda’s calendar is propped up by her desk, and from what Elphaba can tell by looking at it, the blonde hasn’t canceled a single thing despite being so wrung out from this past week. Elphaba doesn’t know if she should feel appreciative or hurt by the fact that Galinda didn’t even try to invite her along this time.  

The breathing room is nice, and Elphaba knows setting boundaries is important for a healthy friendship, but the worry that itches under her skin with Galinda out of sight for so many hours makes relaxing and enjoying the time alone almost impossible.

Is this what being a friend means? Constantly thinking and worrying about someone other than yourself? It’s a bit exhausting, if Elphaba is being honest. 

Thankfully, Galinda’s calendar is expertly organized, and Elphaba is able to track the girl down without much issue. It will be lunchtime soon, and Elphaba knows the only way Galinda is going to actually remember to eat anything is if she can drag her away from her friends long enough to shove food in front of her. 

“Galinda,” Elphaba calls out, interrupting whatever fascinating conversation a club about knitting, of all things, could be talking about. The blonde whips her head around, eyes widening when she sees Elphaba standing behind her. 

“Elphaba? What are you doing here?”

“It’s lunchtime. You said you would eat with me, remember?” 

She feels a little bad manipulating Galinda like this, especially when she sees the panicked look that floods the girl’s eyes as she tries desperately to remember making such a promise. But she knows that Galinda’s innate desire to please will win out, even against her previous obligation to the knitting club. 

“R-right, of course, I must’ve lost track of time.” She packs her things quickly, spilling apologies to the other girls as they reassure her that they don’t mind at all. Elphaba waits patiently, even offering her hand out to help the blonde to her feet. 

She lets Galinda hold onto it as they walk to the dining hall; she can tell the younger girl takes comfort from the small action. She’s still trying to apologize, this time for forgetting about lunch, and Elphaba has to squash the twinge of guilt she feels.

“You’re good, Galinda; you don’t need to apologize.”

“I-I just, I usually write things down, I’m not always so forgetful, I promise, it must’ve just slipped my mind, and I didn--”

“Galinda,” Elphaba breaks in, forcing the rush of words to cut off so the other girl can take a much-needed inhale. “I said you were good.”

Galinda snaps her mouth shut and a short shiver runs through her for a second, but she does seem to calm down a little. And she doesn’t apologize again- so Elphaba will take that as a win. The blonde’s free hand is playing with the strap of her pink satchel, and Elphaba doesn’t think she’s even aware of the way she’s squeezing Elphaba’s hand. 

She shifts slightly to bump her shoulder against the shorter girl, hoping to jostle her out of her thoughts. “Come on,” she says, trying to put as much lightness in her voice as possible. “Nessa said they’re serving pecan pie for dessert today.”

Galinda’s nose scrunches up slightly as she tilts her head. “Pecan?” she questions. 

“Hm. Guess you don’t have pecan trees this far north. Trust me- you’ll love it. It’s very sweet.”

Galinda tips her head back to glance up at Elphaba. “How do you know I have a sweet tooth?”

Elphaba almost laughs out loud, but it seems the girl’s question is genuine. “We eat together almost every day, Galinda. You always pick the sweetest desserts first.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Wh- You don’t have to apologize for that, silly. There’s plenty to go around.”

“I didn’t realize you noticed.” There’s a curious dusting of pink across Galinda’s cheeks, as if she’s embarrassed to be found liking sweets. Interesting. 

Elphaba shrugs, not really seeing the big deal. “I pay attention. You’re my friend.” It’s crazy how easy it’s becoming to say that word. 

When she looks down again, she sees Galinda staring back at her, eyes wide and dark and glittering with emotions that Elphaba is only just starting to define. The pink of her cheeks is even brighter, and when she ducks her head with a shy smile, her dimple pokes out on one side. 

Cute. Elphaba’s lips twitch, her own grin spreading wider. By the time they reach the dining hall, Galinda seems to have forgotten her earlier anxiety, and Elphaba feels a warmth curl under her ribs, pleased to have been the reason why.

***

Galinda doesn’t eat much actual lunch, but she does predictably love the pecan pie. Her feet kick under the table and she beams at Elphaba with bright eyes, and it’s all so stupidly sweet that Elphaba can feel her teeth rotting. From the pie, of course. 

Galinda rushes off pretty much the moment she’s finished, three-quarters of a pie slice still on her plate, eager to get back to her busy schedule. Elphaba frowns as she watches her leave, wracking her brain for any ideas of ways to make Galinda cancel all her plans tomorrow. In the past few weeks of studying Galinda, Elphaba has learned a lot about the younger girl. 

She’s learned she likes her tea hot enough to scald. She likes her blankets as thick and heavy as possible. She likes her room clean and her desk cluttered and her clothes organized in a system impossible for anyone to understand. 

She’s learned Galinda’s shampoo smells faintly like roses. She enjoys long showers but prefers long baths. She sorts her heels by height instead of color, her stationery is all pale pink with personalized G's, and her giggle sounds the happiest when it’s nearly midnight and Elphaba has managed to crack some sort of dry joke. 

Galinda is a much better roommate than Elphaba expected, and she’s also a really good friend. Just the other day, when a Munchkin boy had thrown some nasty remark at Elphaba, Galinda had whirled around and come down on him like a thunderous storm, ensuring that no one would so much as look at him for the rest of the day. 

The sight of tiny little Galinda going toe to toe with someone over a full foot taller than her as she verbally tore him to shreds had done funky things to Elphaba’s heart, her magic twisting and sparking and tingling in her fingertips as her cheeks and ears burned. 

Galinda is dramatic and antsy and a bit (a lot) of a worry wart, but she is also kind and generous and thoughtful. She doesn’t deserve to have the rest of the student body be running her into the ground, taking advantage of her goodness to get her to do all these events just because she’s too nice to say no. Elphaba won’t allow it. 

She has a lifetime of experience standing up not only for herself but for Nessarose as well. Elphaba may not know what it’s like to have a friend, but she does know what it’s like to care about someone. And crazy as it may seem, in just such a short amount of time, she can honestly say she does care about Galinda. 

Elphaba drums her fingers along the table, her knee bouncing as she tries to come up with a good idea. She catches sight of a wisp of purple out of the corner of her eye, glancing over in time to see Madame Morrible disappear down the hall, likely having just finished lunch herself. 

Morrible. Elphaba’s mind thought back to the lesson a couple of days ago, Morrible’s advice on trying to control her emotions. The way it made her think of Galinda. A grin spreads across Elphaba’s face. That’s perfect. 

***

Later that afternoon, Galinda touching up her makeup in preparation for dinner, Elphaba enacts her genius plan. 

“Hey, Galinda?” she asks, the gentle humming from the other side of the room halting at her words. “I was wondering if you had some time to help me out tomorrow.”

Galinda turns in her chair, a tiny worried wrinkle between her brows. “What do you need help with? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just…you know how Morrible added an extra sorcery class next week? Well, I really want to show her that I’ve improved, and I was hoping you could help me.”

Elphaba glances over to see Galinda watching her with wide eyes, face a touch paler than usual. “Me?” she asks. “But I-I don’t know anything about magic.”

“You applied for her sorcery seminar, didn’t you? I think she mentioned something about your essay on wands.”

“W-well, yeah, I mean- I did, but I don’t- I’ve never--” Galinda swallows visibly, fingers tangling together.  

“I know she isn’t your favorite. But you must’ve studied sorcery before, right? In order to write your essay? I’ve never even looked into it prior to coming here.”

Galinda looks up at that, head tilting. Something like curiosity brushes the nerves away. “Never?” she questions. “But- you must’ve known you had magic.”

Elphaba cringes. “I did, but…I didn’t really want anything to do with it except…make it go away.” Her voice trails off, barely more than a whisper by the end of her sentence. She shakes herself, steering the conversation back on track. Now is not the time.

“Anyway, that’s not important. Morrible had me working on different exercises yesterday, little bits of various types of magic, but she said I needed to work on control. Not just of magic but also of, of myself. And I was hoping you could help with that.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You have studied sorcery, right?”

Galinda gapes at her, mouth opening and closing like she’s looking for a valid reason to say ‘no.’ She must not find one because she ends up giving Elphaba a tentative nod. Elphaba sends her a smile, just to try and help calm the increasing nerves she can spot in the way Galinda has her nails pinched down and pulling at her own skin. 

“Most of the exercises are easy to replicate here in the dorm. It’s like- it’s homework, right? Just like any other topic of study. And since you’ve studied it before, maybe you have some tips for me. Or maybe just some overall ideas on how to be in better control?”

Elphaba feels her pulse pick up as she waits for Galinda’s answer. She can see the blonde’s eyes flick toward her calendar, several glittery pen marks denoting she does not, in fact, have any free time tomorrow. But Galinda’s had this whole weird energy around Morrible’s seminar and the topic of sorcery all month, and Elphaba has a feeling this is one request the other girl really won’t want to turn down. 

“I…guess I can move some things around. If you really think I can help.”

“I do,” Elphaba says quickly, relief seeping through her. “I need you.”

Galinda drops her chin with that same shy, pink smile on her lips, something joyful and soft that curls around her cheeks and makes Elphaba’s own smile deepen. Around them, the lights flicker, pink shadows flashing, and Elphaba almost laughs at the irony. 

Control, indeed. She hadn’t even felt that one. Clearly, she has a lot of work to do.

***

This time, Elphaba wakes when Galinda does, eyes blinking open to dusty morning light as she hears Galinda slip out of bed and start puttering around. Galinda had managed to shuffle a lot of things around, going to table after table at dinner yesterday to tell everyone her updated plans and apologize for backing out last minute. Elphaba had barely managed to get two bites of pasta in the girl before she was hustling off to someone else. 

She hadn’t canceled everything, of course, just enough things to clear her afternoon. This morning, she still planned on attending a brunch with some of her Gillikenese friends. And Elphaba, Oz help her, had agreed to tag along. 

“Good morning, Elphaba!” Galinda chirps, grinning at her as she breezes past in a blur of pink. She’s already dressed and starting on her hair when Elphaba leaves the bathroom, and she hops up in order to present the still-lagging girl with a cup of warm tea.

Galinda likes her tea nearly scalding. Elphaba likes hers at a comfortable warmth. Somehow, Galinda gets it perfectly right every single time. 

Elphaba sits on the edge of her bed and lets the caffeine start to kick in as Galinda finishes up her hair and makeup. She’s a bit more dressed up than usual, wearing a soft pink dress with short puff sleeves and strappy heels. She points toward a trunk of hers with the end of the makeup brush, prompting Elphaba to follow her line of sight. 

“I set something out for you. Just an option, that’s all. In case you don’t have a brunch dress.”

Elphaba hides her chuckle at the way Galinda says ‘brunch dress’ like it’s a completely normal part of everyone’s wardrobe. She walks over to the trunk in question, pushing it open so she can see the pretty grey dress laid out for her. 

It looks almost black in the shadows, but the thin top layer is clearly gray with the slightest shimmer in the light. It’s a touch longer than Galinda’s with a higher neckline and full-length sleeves and a belt that cinches at the waist. 

One black skirt was surprising. But two? However- Elphaba fingers the delicate fabric and realizes it is very Galinda. It’s actually quite similar in build and material to the one she has on, although Galinda’s pink dress is covered in a light floral print.

“It’s not really my usual style,” Elphaba mumbles. Elphaba’s outfits are often layered and stiff, made of a thick opaque fabric with high collars and sharp angles. Something light and flowy is more Nessarose’s type than her own. 

“You don’t have to wear it,” Galinda says. “But I think it would look really pretty on you.”

Pretty. Since when is that an adjective that describes Elphaba?

“Hmm.” Elphaba figures she may as well try it on. She slips into it easily, marveling at the fact that it fits her so well. Though it must be a floor-length dress on Galinda with the way it brushes down past Elphaba’s knees. 

It feels strange. Something different than her usual clothes. But she steps up to Galinda’s mirror and admires the way the smooth fabric flows across her skin. “We match again,” Galinda giggles, pushing out of her chair to stand beside her, her own dress like a shorter, pinker version of Elphaba’s. “Though that one usually looks better with flowers, too.”

Elphaba rolls her eyes fondly. “Not everything needs flowers,” she teases, pulling lightly on the shorter girl's puffy sleeve until she bats her hand away. “You look like a bouquet threw up on you.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment; thank you very much. Now come on. I have the perfect hat for you!”

***

Galinda’s hat is black to match the belt and Elphaba’s shoes, a wide brim and rounded top. It’s very summery, very brunchy, very girly. Elphaba feels slightly better seeing Galinda don her own version. Hers, of course, has a cluster of pink flowers on the front. 

“We look ridiculous.”

“We look great!”

Galinda’s hair is fully down under her hat, her curls bouncing as they make their way to the gazebo where they’d had breakfast just last weekend. Brunch goes fairly smoothly, even if Galinda spent most of it sipping tea and chatting about inane things that honestly just go in one ear and out the other for Elphaba. 

She manages to get the girl to stop gossiping long enough to eat half a crepe, at least. Galinda barely even seems to notice the plate nudged her way until Elphaba practically shoves the fork in her hand, at which point she blinks at her several times and then breaks out giggling. She barely swallows her first bite in time to gasp loudly at something ShenShen says. 

That girl. She has got to get her priorities straight!

Elphaba is happy to tune out most of the drabble, but one of the girls--Milla, she thinks--keeps prompting her for responses. It’s almost annoying at first until Elphaba realizes- she’s actually being friendly. She’s including Elphaba in the conversation, drawing her into small talk without Galinda needing to steer it. The blonde is fully invested in something ShenShen is saying, and Milla seems totally content to engage with Elphaba instead. 

Huh. Right. The students here actually….tolerate her. Like is probably too strong a word, but they’re polite, at minimum, and that is already far more than Elphaba is used to. She ends up talking to Milla about Munchkinland, the other girl interested in hearing about Elphaba’s homeland since she’s never traveled outside of Gillikin before. When Elphaba glances over to see how Galinda is doing, she finds the other girl beaming back at her, the blonde sending her a quick wink before diving back into her own conversation. 

A pleased buzz hums under Elphaba’s skin. Belonging. It’s not a feeling she’s familiar with. But she thinks she’d like to learn more about it. 

***

“Do you think I need a wand?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“A wand.” Elphaba waves her hand vaguely, twirling it through the air. “You know. To help channel my magic.”

Galinda blinks back at her like she just asked if the Emerald City was purple. Elphaba feels her cheeks darken, ducking her head away from the incredulous gaze. “Never mind.”

“No, no I was just-- No, I don’t think you need a wand.”

“But nothing else is working.” 

They had returned from brunch hours ago and barely any progress had been made since. Elphaba had tried everything: calling a breeze, lighting a candle, floating a coin. Nothing. She barely got a wisp. Barely a spark. Barely a wobble. 

It didn’t help that Galinda’s sweet, rosy scent was invading her senses every time she turned around. The blonde was eager to help, gently coaching Elphaba through grounding herself and trying to find her inner pool of magic and draw it to the surface. Elphaba could tell she must’ve read similar books to Morrible, must’ve really been keen on the sorcery idea at some point. 

It makes her curious why she dropped it, though. Which makes her think about Galinda’s negative reactions to Morrible herself and her assurance she has no magic of her own. The thoughts tumble around and around, pulling her focus, distracting her from her goals. 

She sighs heavily, leaning back in her chair after a solid ten minutes of them both staring at the little pink figurine on the desk that Elphaba had been trying, and failing, to get to change color. Frustration bubbles in Elphaba’s gut, and she hates that it’s that feeling, of all things, that has her magic bubbling under her skin. She doesn’t want to have to lose control in order to make anything happen. 

“I think that was a good attempt!” Galinda tries, but she shrinks under the weight of Elphaba’s frustrated glare. “Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. You’re just trying to help.”

Galinda leans her hip against the table, fingers rubbing over the wooden texture. “I’m sorry I can’t do more. I know it must be frustrating. But I saw you in that courtyard, Elphaba. You are incredible. It’s just going to take time.”

“But why? Why can I do things like that but not even get this stupid coin to lift?”

“I-I don’t know…”

Elphaba is on a roll now, though, and she keeps going, ranting to Galinda about how frustrating it is to finally be told her magic isn’t something to be afraid of, isn’t something terrible and wrong, but to be so completely, entirely unable to do anything to prove it. She just wants to show Morrible that she didn’t make a mistake. 

“Believe me, she didn’t make a mistake. You are a wonder, Elphaba.”

“You don’t even like Morrible.”

“Yes, but I’m not blind. I can see how talented you are even without her acknowledgment.” Galinda scoots closer, gazing down at where Elphaba is still sitting, her fists clenched in her lap. “Elphi-Elphaba, you don’t need to prove anything to Morrible. This is your body. Your magic. The only one who matters is yourself.”

Which is all well and good, except Elphaba’s been letting ‘herself’ down for years. This one time, this one time, she wanted someone else to be proud of her. 

“You don’t get it,” she mutters, shaking her head. She catches Galinda wince in her peripheral, but she can’t bring herself to apologize. Not when she knows she’s right. Galinda wouldn’t understand what it’s like to feel like this. And Elphaba can’t really explain it to her. 

Growling under her breath, she suddenly shoves to her feet, chair scraping on the floor. Her magic stings and simmers, growing more with every second, itching under her skin, pressing against her lungs, and Elphaba finally slams her fists against the table, loudly declaring, “It’s not fair!”

The way the light bulbs burst isn’t even a surprise at this point, though Galinda startles hard with a gasp. The ring of lights around Galinda’s mirror is now nothing but shattered glass, sparking distantly as electricity still tries to flow through them. 

Elphaba drops her head with a sigh, all the air and tension gusting out of her. She feels the sting of magic evaporate, leaving her empty and exhausted. This is exactly what she didn’t want to happen. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles, eyes closed as she leans on the desk. Silence reigns for a moment before Elphaba moves to start cleaning up. Sparks flash in a bright rhythm. She reaches for the mirror, intent on searching for the off switch, when Galinda suddenly surges forward, slamming into her and yanking her outstretched fingers away. 

“Don’t touch it!” she yells, pushing on Elphaba until the taller girl is forced to take a few stumbling steps backward. The snapping sparks reflect off the jagged edges of broken glass. 

“What the-- Galinda! I need to--”

“No, you can’t touch it! It’ll hurt you!” Galinda is breathing hard, her face pale as she spins around and presses her back to Elphaba’s front, staring at the mirror like it’s the devil himself. 

“I’ll be careful to avoid the glass, Galinda, I just need--”

“No!” She can feel the blonde shaking, her body leaning heavily on Elphaba until the other girl is forced to grab onto her, lest she push them both to the floor. “The electricity will shock you, and, and, and, it’ll hurt, and you- you, it’ll, it can--”

“Breathe, Galinda, my Oz. You’re freaking out over nothing. I was going to turn the lights off before I did anything; I’m not an idiot.”

Galinda barely seems to hear her, though, mumbling still about how it’ll ‘hurt.’ As if Elphaba is a child who isn’t fully aware of how electricity works. She sighs, indulging the girl for the moment because she’s learned that letting Galinda ride out these moments of hers is the best way to get them over with. 

The other day, Elphaba had spilled a bit of her fresh pot of tea on her hand, wincing at the burn of the hot liquid, and she thought Galinda was about to have a conniption. She’d fussed over Elphaba’s barely stung hand as though she’d shoved the whole appendage in a fire or something. She could be a touch dramatic that way, always blowing things out of proportion. 

‘Making mountains out of molehills’ as Dulcibear might say. 

“You alright, now?” Elphaba asks after a moment when Galinda has dropped into silence and is simply leaning on Elphaba, her trembles easing and her breathing slowing down. 

“I’m fine,” Galinda says, though she sounds a lot more tired than just minutes ago. “I’m sorry.”

“All good. Just- can I clean up now? I will turn the lights off, I promise. But we need to get this glass picked up.”

Galinda nods wordlessly, finally stepping aside so that Elphaba can tentatively step closer and reach for the switch on the side of the vanity. The flashing bulbs still make Galinda flinch hard, but they stop sparking once the power cuts off. Elphaba digs around in Galinda’s things until she finds a pink broom and dustpan, sweeping the broken shards up and dumping them in the trash with a mental note to dispose of them safely. 

“I’m sorry about your mirror,” she offers. Galinda hasn’t moved, just standing there swaying slightly from side to side. 

“It’s okay,” she whispers. “I’ll fix it.”

“Guess you can see why I need to work on my control,” Elphaba jokes, trying to lighten the mood. It gets the tiniest quirk of Galinda’s lips, but the other girl otherwise doesn’t respond. 

Elphaba stifles her sigh, letting the moment slide away. It’s not Galinda’s fault she’s got such a nervous disposition. Her gaze tracks the girl when she finally moves to her side of the room, a faraway look in her eyes that reminds Elphaba of her nightmare the other night. Her heart sinks, her teeth biting down on her tongue. 

See- a part of Elphaba thinks she’s figured Galinda out. She has thought long and hard about the nightmare, and she thinks she finally has a word to explain that strange, almost-sad look she keeps seeing in Galinda’s eyes. Her clinginess. Her nervousness. The way she sometimes stops herself from doing or saying something and her eyes flick to the side as though she’s looking for someone who isn’t there. 

It’s not sadness. Not really. It’s grief. 

There’s no other explanation for the way she’d clung to Elphaba that night. The tears that had poured out of her like they’d never stop. Elphaba remembers grief. She remembers losing her mother, remembers the look on her father’s face, remembers the way everything in her life had changed after that. 

Her mother’s ghost used to haunt the house that she grew up in. Elphaba wonders whose ghost is haunting Galinda. 

Chapter Text

The girls decide to skip magic practice the next day. Probably a good idea, in Elphaba’s opinion. 

They go about class as usual, Galinda waking up early and Elphaba grumbling under her sheets for as long as possible as the other girl putters about. She’s gotten used to waking to the sounds of Galinda humming under her breath and rifling through her wardrobes and spritzing that obnoxiously loud perfume bottle of hers. 

The weather has been nice enough lately for Elphaba to spend a few minutes out on the balcony even, figuring that if she was going to be up early she may as well make use of it. She notices Galinda watching through the open doorway that morning, a sad smile on her face. 

Elphaba hasn’t brought up her new revelation yet. She doesn’t know if there even is a socially acceptable way to ask. Hey, Galinda, you look like someone you know died, tell me about it?! Yeah…no. 

Still- the thought stays in the back of Elphaba’s head as she continues to keep an eye on Galinda. She wonders when her fascination for the other girl shifted from suspicion to concern. She can’t pinpoint an exact time, just that she feels confident that, whatever’s going on in that pretty blonde head, none of it is at the expense of Elphaba. 

Galinda really is her friend. 

“Oh, look! They have your favorite today!” 

See? No one else in her life has ever cared to remember what her favorite lunch is. Elphaba grins, grabbing her food and making her way to the table. They’re joined by a whole bunch of other First Year students, all of them greeting Elphaba just as easily as they do everyone else. 

It’s still so strange to her, being able to sit down with a crowd and have their happy chatter wash over her, never hearing a snide comment or spotting a nose wrinkle of disgust. Even the holdouts like ShenShen have mostly gotten over themselves, content to hide their dislike for the sake of appearance when almost everyone else in school has gotten used to the green girl in their midst. 

Elphaba’s skin color might stick out, but the students have come to accept that she’s just another rather boring student, someone who reads a lot and does well in class and is otherwise quite unremarkable. Even her show in the courtyard was easily smoothed over by Morrible. Here in Gillikin, far away from her father’s influence, surrounded by new faces and with a fervent friend at her side, Elphaba finally feels like she’s found somewhere she belongs. 

***

“Oz, that was such a snoozefest,” Pfannee complains, groaning dramatically before the group is even fully out of the classroom. 

Elphaba winces, hoping their kind professor didn’t hear that comment. Dr. Mawri is a sweet, older professor who has been at Shiz for years. But even Elphaba has to admit that his lectures tend to be…un-engaging. 

“You’re telling me,” ShenShen chimes in. “I think I had to poke Glinda awake like three times!”

The group collectively laughs at that, and Elphaba glances down to see Galinda’s cheeks burning as she pouts. “It’s not my fault,” she says, voice just on the edge of a playful whine. “He spent twenty minutes on a tangent about how he couldn’t find his favorite socks this morning!”

More laughter erupts, many of them rolling their eyes as they remember the way their professor had spent the beginning of class complaining about his less-than-great start to the day. Elphaba notices that Galinda really does look exhausted, though, her steps slow and her eyes drowsy. She hasn’t heard anything these past few nights, but that doesn’t mean the girl is sleeping any better. 

When they get back to their dorm, she tries to bring it up with the blonde, but Galinda waves her off, assuring her she is fine. Elphaba doesn’t miss the way she gulps down a cup of tea before she starts on her homework, though, nor does she miss the way her eyelids keep drooping later that evening when they’re both at their desks after dinner. 

“Why don’t we go to bed a little earlier tonight?” Elphaba suggests. She tries to bring it up casually but can feel Galinda’s eyes narrow in suspicion. “Seriously- I’m still getting used to waking up this early. My circadian rhythm is all out of whack.”

A blatant lie, but thankfully not one Galinda seems to want to dispute. She must really be tired because she just nods and starts gathering her things to put away. She moves through her evening routine in a daze, and Elphaba is hopeful that, maybe, she’ll feel a little better tomorrow. But as the hours slip past, both girls in bed yet still wide awake, Elphaba starts to lose hope. 

“Are you still awake?” she whispers, even though she just heard the girl mumble something and turn over a few minutes ago. 

“Yes,” Galinda whispers back. 

Elphaba pauses, searching for words. “I’m sorry you aren’t sleeping well.”

“It’s okay, Elphaba. I’m used to the insomnia.”

So this is an ongoing issue then. Well, Elphaba supposes she should be glad it wasn’t caused by her or by rooming with her. 

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Elphaba asks. There’s a hint of desperation in her tone, but she wants to do something. She bites her lip as she waits impatiently for Galinda’s answer. 

“Co-could…could you perhaps read? Out loud?” 

The request is so faintly said Elphaba barely catches it, even in the quiet stillness of night. She perks up immediately at the suggestion, even as a part of her worries about how bad Galinda must be feeling for her to finally admit to needing help. 

“Of course!” she says. Reading. That’s certainly easy enough. Although-

“I’ll have to turn a light on, though.”

“That’s okay. I just…could use a distraction.”

A distraction. Distraction from what? From her thoughts? From her dreams? 

Elphaba flicks the lamp by her bed on, grabbing the nearest book and her glasses off her nightstand. It’s a storybook, one of her favorite fairytales, a classic plot of romance and adventure. She starts reading quietly, her voice carrying in the small space. She’s not even really absorbing any of the words, her own mind still pondering the girl across the room. 

There’s something special about the late hours of the night, the way the moonlight glitters through the windows and the breeze presses gently against their glass balcony doors. There’s a certain level of quiet, or peace, that only occurs under the shadow of the stars, a fifth dimension that one slips into when they’re too tired to remember there’s a whole world outside their door. 

The dorm glows with soft lamplight, everything dark and blurry at the edges. Galinda is but a smear of paleness amongst the shadows, her hair catching just enough light to make her visible to the naked eye. 

Elphaba’s not sure how much time passes that way, drifting in a sort of hazy fog where the pages keep turning and the story keeps flowing and her thoughts float off into an almost-asleep state. She shakes herself more awake at some point, several chapters in, and realizes the room is completely silent. Nothing but the soft sounds of someone breathing, slow and deep. 

A gentle warmth blooms in her chest, a satisfied sort of contentment that seems to soften the world. It doesn’t take much for Elphaba to drop off herself after that, a tiny little smile on her lips.

***

The sun rises far sooner than Elphaba would’ve wished, and she’s soon grumbling under her pillow at the sounds of Galinda once again waking right on time. How the girl seems to always wake up at precisely the right time despite not getting nearly enough sleep is honestly impressive. 

The fact that this also means Elphaba has to wake up at precisely that time despite not getting enough sleep is…less so. 

For the first time in her life, Elphaba seriously considers skipping class. She has no idea what ha actual time was when she finally fell asleep, but in her mind, it was just minutes ago. She stays curled up extra long today, caught in that moment right before full consciousness, tuning out the sounds of Galinda getting ready. 

“Elphaba? Hey, Elphaba, you gotta get up or you’re going to be late.” Galinda sounds much too close, her voice annoyingly loud as Elphaba does her best to bury her head into her mattress. 

“No thanks,” she mumbles. 

A hand starts tugging at her blankets, and she whines, deep in her throat. There’s a stuttered pause before Galinda’s voice is back, somehow even closer. “Elphaba, wake up!” 

I’m gonna kill her. 

Elphaba throws her blankets off and sits up so quickly her head spins, Galinda yelping in shock as she tumbles back. A terrifying glare is aimed at Galinda, and if looks could kill, there would surely be nothing but a faint blonde streak on the walls by now.

As it is, however, Galinda barely looks fazed. “It is not my fault they give the First Years all the morning classes. Now, come on. You’re the one always complaining about not having enough time for breakfast.”

The thought of food is at least enough to get Elphaba out of bed, her stomach protesting as she hurriedly washes up and slips into her school uniform. They have to hustle a bit to get to the dining hall in time to grab something before class, but Elphaba succeeds in convincing Galinda to nibble on a bagel on their walk, so all's well. 

The blonde starts the day with her normal level of energy, but by the end of their first class, she’s already flagging. She gets through lecture in a haze, Elphaba grabbing her hand to lead her to their next location and having to tug her out of the way of crashing into a pillar. 

They have sparring today, something that is a chore even on a good day in this late summer heat, let alone when they’re already tired. Usually, Galinda is pretty good with her staff, a grace to her movements that is hard to find in her everyday life.

This morning she’s almost hard to watch, however, her steps clumsy and her reactions delayed. Elphaba feels herself wince in sympathy when a particularly hard blow almost knocks the blonde on her ass.

“Sorry,” she calls out, feeling guilty despite just doing her job.

“No worries,” Galinda replies, but she’s blinking quickly and swaying on her feet like she can barely keep standing. Elphaba makes sure to tone it down for the rest of the hour, but when she hands Galinda her water bottle later, she can see the way the girl’s hands are shaking and how hard it is for her to catch her breath.

She doesn’t bother asking if Galinda is okay. She knows the answer she’ll get by now. 

Instead, she drags her own feet, complaining about being sore and making a comment at lunch about how tired she is and how she’s planning on just going back to the dorm after their final class. “You’re coming with me, right?” she asks Galinda, knowing putting the other girl on the spot will likely result in a positive response. 

Sure enough, Galinda stammers out a surprised ‘yes’ even as her brow knots in confusion. She doesn’t question it, though, and Elphaba lets her return to her conversation. She honestly is more tired than usual, having to pay extra attention as she cuts up an apple so her fingers don’t slip on the knife. She peels the waxy skin off and chops it into small pieces, sliding the bowl over to sit by Galinda’s elbow and nudging her to take a few. 

Their final class of the day passes in a blur, Elphaba now the one having to poke Galinda awake. The girl’s sparkly eyeshadow shimmers as her lids flutter back open, and it’s a right miracle that Elphaba can’t spot any hint of bruises or bags under her eyes. She leads the way out of class, determined to get back to their dorm. 

“Are you feeling alright, Elphaba? You normally always want to go to the library after class to get a head start on your homework.” Galinda’s hand is warm in Elphaba’s as they make their way across the courtyard, and she’s huffing a little with exertion as they climb the winding staircase up to their suite. 

“I’m just tired. I was thinking I’d rather just read in the dorm. I don’t think my brain could focus on schoolwork right now.”

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you up last night.”

“No, no need to apologize. I was awake still myself.”

Galinda tilts her head, contemplative, but doesn’t say anything more. Elphaba slips her blazer and bag off when they get inside their room and grabs her favorite, most comfy sweater. It’s big on her, a dark grey made of the softest wool. It is arguably too hot for such an outfit, but it always makes her feel better when wearing it.  

She sees Galinda looking at it, eyes distant, and wonders if the blonde has any casual, comfy clothes. Other than her uniform, the only things she’s seen Galinda wear have been dresses. With heels. 

“Maybe you could take a quick nap while I read,” Elphaba suggests. “You must be tired as well.” 

She moves around the room, pulling some of Galinda’s pink curtains over the windows to block out the excess light. The room descends into as much darkness as one can achieve in the mid-afternoon. Thankfully, their window faces east, and the sun is already slipping towards the horizon on the other side. 

Galinda looks unsure of herself, setting her books down on her desk and playing with the edges of them. “I don’t know…I need to finish this paper for Dillamond’s class tomorrow.”

“I’ll help you with it later. But you seem pretty wiped, Galinda. And we’ve got some free time right now.” Galinda still seems hesitant, so Elphaba walks over to her and gives her a little nudge to get her to look up. 

“Tell you what- how about I read to you again? And if you fall asleep, you fall asleep. If you don’t, we can just chat about the book or something.”

Galinda shuffles on her feet for a second before giving in with a sigh. “Okay,” she says. 

Elphaba grins, happy her plan is working, and moves to go sit on her bed when a pale hand snaps out to grab onto her arm. She looks down to see Galinda avoiding her gaze, a tiny spot of pink appearing high on her cheekbones. 

“Y-you could sit on my bed. Um, i-if you want. So you don’t have to talk as loud?”

Elphaba glances over at the pink bed. She thinks of Galinda’s clinginess, her eagerness to hold Elphaba’s hand, her panic at being too far away. She thinks of how badly she’d wished for comfort in the days after her mother’s passing, how badly she’d craved companionship. 

“Sure,” she says. “That’s a good idea.”

Galinda sends her a smile before moving over to take her heels off and unbutton the top of her stiff school shirt. “My hair is going to be a mess,” she mutters under her breath, but Elphaba can see the exhaustion pulling at her, and she crawls under her covers after just a brief hesitation. 

Elphaba slides onto the top of the blankets beside her, shuffling around to get comfortable before flipping her book open and pushing her glasses back up her nose. She starts a few chapters back from where she ended last night, not sure when exactly Galinda had nodded off. 

The younger girl sighs, jaw cracking open in a mighty yawn as her eyes close and she snuggles deeper into the bed. She takes in a deep inhale, relaxing even further. Elphaba finds the yawn contagious and has to focus on her book so her brain remembers she has a job to do. 

“Sleep well, Galinda,” she says softly. 

“Mm. Sleep well, Elphie.”

The nickname pings a brief alert in the back of Elphaba’s head, not having heard it since the day of Galinda’s nightmare. She smiles to herself as she starts to read. It’s a little perky…but she likes the name Elphie.

It’s a mere few moments of listening to Elphaba’s soothing voice before Galinda is sound asleep at her side. Elphaba yawns again, slipping further into the plush pillows behind her as she reads, her own fatigue overcoming her and the world fading away. 

She doesn’t even remember falling asleep. 

***

It’s amazing what even a short nap can accomplish. Elphaba wakes feeling much more rested and human, and realizes, to her great delight, that she is now, for the first time, able to witness a sleeping Galinda. 

She’s never woken up before the blonde before. There’s just enough light coming through the curtains to cast a pale pink glow over her slumbering form, her back rising and falling steadily with every breath. She’s curled herself up tight, clutching her pillow with her nose tucked down under her fingers. 

It’s adorable. 

Elphaba checks the clock and notes that it’s a bit later than they usually get dinner, but she can’t stand to wake Galinda when she finally seems to be getting the sleep she needs. She wonders why it was so easy for her to sleep now, in the afternoon, compared to how difficult she finds it at night. Or was it just her exhaustion catching up to her? 

Elphaba sighs, settling down to watch over the girl until she awakens. She finds herself just gazing at Galinda’s face, the way there are lines of worry at her eyes and the corner of her lips, even in sleep. There was just something about Galinda. Something almost…fragile about her that made Elphaba want to shield her from the world. She had never felt this way before. Not even for Nessarose. 

Maybe it was just that Galinda was her first friend. The first person who ever truly accepted Elphaba right off the bat and wanted nothing from her except to just…exist. Even Madame Morrible wanted Elphaba to excel in her studies and become the next great sorceress. Galinda just wanted Elphaba to be there. 

The soft smiles she gave only to Elphaba. The way her hand fit perfectly in Elphaba’s own. The sound of her laughter when it was real and unrestrained. Galinda was still an enigma, still fascinating in so many ways, and Elphaba feels an anxious swirl of nerves deep in her belly. 

Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago that she was yelling at Galinda? Wasn’t it just a few weeks ago she was avoiding her at all costs? 

Elphaba can’t imagine that now. Now she’s the one getting panicked when Galinda is out of sight. Now she’s the one coming up with excuses to spend time with Galinda just the two of them. It would almost be funny how quickly things can change if the very idea of such change didn’t twist in Elphaba’s gut like a bad omen. 

She had never had this level of connection with another human being before, and a part of her couldn’t help but be a little scared by it. Galinda had…baggage. That much was clear. Was Elphaba ready for that? Was she prepared for what it might mean? There was still so much about the Gillikinese girl that she didn’t know. 

“Who are you?” Elphaba whispers, her green eyes blinking in the pink light. She doesn’t quite know who she’s asking. Galinda…or the ghost who lingers in her dreams.

Chapter Text

Dinner is a subdued affair, mostly because Galinda is still half asleep. Elphaba had actually had to gently shake her awake before it got late enough for the dining hall to close for the night, Galinda blinking her eyes open with a stifled gasp. She seemed to relax when she saw Elphaba hovering over her, smiling sleepily and mumbling ‘good morning.’

“It’s evening, silly. We need to eat dinner, come on.” Elphaba keeps her voice low and soft, a fond grin pulling at her lips when Galinda sticks her bottom lip out in a pout.

“Comfy,” she complains. Elphaba does feel a little bad, but her own stomach is grumbling and she really doesn’t want to have to wait until morning to eat. The meager snacks she’s stashed in her nightstand drawer just won’t cut it.

“You need to eat something and so do I. We can go to bed early again tonight,” she says. But her suggestion is quickly shot down, Galinda shaking her head as she stretches out and blinks further awake. It’s almost unfair how perfect her makeup still looks.

“Have to…finish essay. Said you’d help me.”

Elphaba’s grin grows at the attempted half-sentences. By the time Elphaba’s brain boots up in the morning, Galinda is usually already bustling about and fully awake. She’s never gotten to see her like this. The blonde had given up halfway to removing the covers and is now just lying sprawled out with her golden hair a messy halo around her face. 

She looks so human like this, far away from the precise, polished performance she usually gives. She looks so young. 

“Galinda,” Elphaba gently admonishes.

“Can’t move,” Galinda whispers, eyelids fluttering open. Her brown eyes lock onto Elphaba as a dopey smile stretches across her face. She looks hazy and tired still, drunk on a level of sleep deprivation that a single nap couldn’t fix. 

Elphaba rolls her eyes, even as she resists the urge to poke the single dimple that appears on Galinda’s squished-up cheeks.

“I can give you a piggyback ride,” she offers. She’s done it to Nessarose a million times after all, so even a sleepy Galinda shouldn’t be too hard. “But I am getting dinner, and you are coming with me.”

Galinda pouts again, eyes widening into the biggest fucking puppy eyes Elphaba has ever seen, panicked little alarms blaring in the back of her brain at the sight. If it weren’t for her stomach growling loudly, it may have actually worked.

Galinda whines high in her throat at the leveled stare Elphaba sends her, seeming to accept her fate. “Need to brush my hair,” she says. Elphaba waits for a second. Galinda does not move. 

Sighing in exasperation, Elphaba pushes to her feet and goes to grab one of the several (who needs several?!) hair brushes off of Galinda’s vanity. She pokes and prods and nudges at the girl until she sits up enough for Elphaba to move behind her. That seems to startle Galinda awake a little more, turning her head to blink at Elphaba in confusion.

Without saying a word, Elphaba gently pushes it back so she’s facing forward, picking up a section of wheaten hair and brushing through it. She hadn’t even noticed Galinda’s shoulder tightening until she sees the way the tension falls away as she continues.

Even though she’s in a bit of a rush, she makes sure Galinda’s hair is glossy smooth, even fixing the placement of her two pink clips. She doesn’t know why it matters so much to the girl that she always look perfect, but she’ll indulge her just this once.

Figures Galinda would be the type to like her hair played with. She’s practically asleep again by the time Elphaba finishes and slides off the bed to grab her shoes and bag. Galinda is still sitting exactly where she left her when she returns with her own bag and her roommate’s pink satchel, placing the girl’s heels on the floor for her to slip on.

Then Elphaba turns around, squatting down in front of her and offering her her back. She peeks over her shoulder to see Galinda staring at her, confusion etched across her face. “I said I’d give you a piggyback,” Elphaba reminds. 

Galinda blinks quickly. “Oh, I-I didn’t think…” She looks conflicted for a moment. “I don’t want to burden you. I can walk.”

Elphaba just laughs, still bent down to the blonde’s height. “Trust me, I’ve been hauling my sister around for years; I don’t think you’ll be a problem. My treat- if only because I don’t want to miss dinner if you fall asleep on the stairs!”

She sends the girl a teasing wink, watching the way her cheeks pinken. Galinda’s hands hover over Elphaba’s shoulders, unsure, so Elphaba makes it easy for her, reaching behind her and pulling Galinda onto her back. There’s a surprised squeak right next to her ear, a pair of pale hands appearing by her chin as Galinda wraps her arms around Elphaba’s neck. 

As suspected, she doesn’t weigh a thing, her arms loosening after a brief admonishment so she won’t choke Elphaba as they walk. It’s a lot easier carrying someone who can hold on with their legs, although Galinda slumps heavier on her back the further they get, Elphaba speed walking a little to get to the dining hall across campus. 

“Don’t fall asleep,” she warns and gets nothing but a tired mumble in response. Galinda has her nose tucked down by the curve of Elphaba’s neck, her breath tickling Elphaba’s bare skin in a way that radiates heat out from that point. 

It reminds her of how her magic can sometimes sit, heavy and warm, in her palms, a heady sensation that makes her head spin and her instincts scream. Elphaba has to focus extra hard not to run into any doorways or columns as she walks.

There isn’t anyone out at this time, evening well set and the sun tucked down behind the horizon, but she’s still surprised at how willing Galinda is to be seen being carted around like this. 

Though. Perhaps she was just too sleepy still to realize. 

Elphaba lowers her gently to her usual seat when they get to the dining hall--only a single other person, a professor hunched over a stack of papers in the corner, in sight--before making her way to the counter to quickly collect two trays. She sets one aside for the moment, cutting up the chicken into bite-sized pieces on the first tray before giving that one to Galinda. 

The blonde glances down at it, head resting on her hand with her elbow propped on the table. She picks her fork up but shakes her head at the sight of the chicken. “I don’t eat meat,” she remarks softly.

“Oh.” Elphaba stares at her, wracking her brain to try and remember what Galinda usually eats at dinner. Nothing, isn’t a good answer, she obviously eats something, but Elphaba can’t recall, and she’s surprised she hasn’t picked up on something like this. “Sorry. I can grab you something else.”

Galinda shakes her head again. “It’s fine. I’ll eat the other stuff. And I’m not that hungry.”

You’re never hungry. Elphaba frowns. “You need protein, Galinda.”

The blonde grins ruefully, poking at her mashed potatoes. “I forgot how much of a mother hen you are,” she mutters under her breath. 

Elphaba will take that as a compliment. Taking care of Nessarose is about the only thing she’s done well in her life up to this point, and it honestly does make her feel better to help others. Dulcibear used to say that everyone deserved to have someone looking out for them. 

“Well then at least share mine,” Elphaba says, scooping half her bowl of edamame onto Galinda’s plate. Shiz doesn’t always have the best protein options, but she’s been plant-based herself for most of her life. She’s a little pleased to know that Galinda is as well.

They get through the rest of dinner with minimal talking, Galinda seeming to appreciate the saltiness of the soybeans more than anything else. The dining hall is relatively quiet aside from the sounds of the workers closing up for the night, but Galinda is able to shake most of her drowsiness as she remembers her homework, dragging her satchel into her lap so she can check to see if she has her notebook. 

She seems ready to spread out right here on the dining table, but a kind worker approaches to let them know they’re locking up the dining hall. “All good,” Elphaba says. “We can finish in the dorm.”

But Galinda shakes her head, halting just outside the doorway. “I won’t be able to focus if we’re in the dorm,” she argues. She’s got this glint in her eyes as she tips her chin down the other hall. “I have an idea of where we could go.”

Elphaba lets herself be led, hissing at the other girl when she gets a clue as to their final destination. “Galinda. We can’t use any of the classrooms this late!”

“It’s fine. Dillamond’s classroom will have the book I need, too. I left mine in the dorm.”

Elphaba groans, not bothering to point out that she could’ve just borrowed Elphaba’s. She had finished her own essay over the weekend, but the textbook was still in her bag along with the others, for tomorrow’s classes.

Thankfully, the lights are still on in the classroom, which means Dillamond hasn’t locked up yet, and they’re able to slip inside and find their usual desks to settle at. Galinda tends to be oddly withdrawn during Dillamond’s class, but she’s been very vocal outside of class about how much she supports Animal professors. 

The other students have really come around on the topic, and Elphaba even had someone tell her at lunch one time that they were glad she’d uncovered that mural in the courtyard. She’d been oddly flustered by the praise, especially when she saw the way Galinda was beaming at her, having caught the exchange.

She’d tried to pay a little closer attention to all the names and faces Galinda spent time with after that. Maybe these rich kids weren’t so bad.

“Hey, Elphaba, will you check this part for me? It’s been a while since I’ve studied this material.”

Elphaba glances over Galinda’s paper, surprised by how in-depth the girl got. Most students weren’t all that interested in pre-Wizard studies of history, and she’d seen last week that a lot of them had practically slept through Dillamond’s lecture. Elphaba herself loved history. It was her favorite subject. If she weren’t majoring in sorcery, she would’ve picked history in a heartbeat. 

Maybe she could’ve been a professor herself one day. But the chance to work for the Wizard…well. That will give her the ability to make history. 

Elphaba Thropp will be a name in a history book someday. Whether as the author or as the esteemed sorceress for the Wizard of Oz, she’s not yet sure. But she has a feeling it will happen one way or another. 

“Here,” she says, sliding the paper back over. “I made some notes.”

They work in comfortable silence for a while, nothing but the flipping of paper and the scratching of pens. It’s so quiet that both girls visibly jump when a purposeful throat clears by the doorway. Two heads shoot up, eyes wide, to take in the sight of Miss Coddle by the doorway. 

“I believe it is well past time for you two to be back in the dorms, yes?” the woman says. “I’m locking up all the classrooms.”

“Yes, Head Shizstress, our apologies,” they both reply, jumping to their feet to begin gathering their things. Elphaba curses internally, stuffing her books in her bag at random as she hustles, the anxious prickle of getting in trouble piercing at her skin. 

She told Galinda they shouldn’t use a classroom. 

The girls both duck past Miss Coddle with flushed cheeks, spouting another few apologies as they scramble down the hall. Galinda is giggling by the time they round the corner, falling into Elphaba’s side hard enough to force her to stop moving lest they both fall over. 

“Oh Oz, her face,” Galinda says. 

“It isn’t funny! I told you we shouldn--”

“Ease up, Elphaba. It’s fine. Pfannee and ShenShen and I have used the classrooms after dinner plenty of times. Miss Coddle is just a scrooge.”

Elphaba glares at her and her careless smirk. Then her head tilts as she processes Galinda’s words. “When was that? I’ve been with you almost every evening since school started.”

She watches curiously as Galinda pales slightly, the mirth falling from her face. “Oh, um, must’ve been the one time you weren’t.”

She shakes her head, a new smile on her lips that Elphaba knows is fake. She thought she and Galinda were past the point of pretending. “I’m right, though. Miss Coddle won’t care.”

“Maybe for you. She hates me,” Elphaba grumbles. The Head Shizstress had never warmed up to her after the shenanigans of the first day. 

“She really doesn’t like you?” Galinda asks. 

Elphaba releases a humorless snort. “Oz, no. She dotes on Nessa, but she barely stands me.”

Galinda’s expression darkens momentarily. “We’ll have to work on that,” she says. 

Before Elphaba can respond, there’s the distinct sound of footsteps coming down the hall, so both girls pick up the pace and take off back to the dorms. Their rush through the winding staircases and long hallways of Shiz seems to bring the giggles back to Galinda, and she’s winded and gasping by the time they arrive at the dorm. 

Elphaba isn’t even flushed. “You need to exercise more,” she teases, although the back of her mind pings with the awareness that maybe Galinda’s lingering exhaustion and bird-like eating habits are more to blame than simply being out of shape.

“No thanks,” Galinda chirps. “Not my thing.”

“Galinda, we literally have sparring class every week. Exercise is important or the school wouldn’t make it a requirement to take a physical class.”

“Exactly, I spar every week. That’s enough exercise for me.” 

“What about going to the gym every once in a while? Or joining me on a run?” Elphaba hasn’t had much chance to get away and exercise herself these past few weeks, but she used to enjoy the simplicity of exertion. It was a good way to clear her head and calm her nerves. 

Galinda’s nose scrunches up in disgust. “Hard pass. I hate running. And sweating. And I like being able to breathe and feel my legs, thank you very much.”

“You would be able to do both if you were in shape, silly.”

“You call me that too often. Silly.”

“Well if the shoe fits…”

“I am not silly!” Galinda stomps her foot on the floor as if to prove her point, and Elphaba bursts out laughing. 

She gives in to the temptation to poke one of Galinda’s puffed-up cheeks, still chuckling to herself as she moves off to set her bag down. She hears Galinda gasp behind her and thinks it’s still about her comment when suddenly, there’s a pink blur heading for the door.

“My satchel!” the girl cries. Elphaba swings around, grabbing Galinda before she can run off. 

“Whoa, hold up, where are you going?”

“I left my satchel in the classroom!” 

Crap. Elphaba believes her, but she still glances around like the pink satchel will magically appear. Magic. Too bad she doesn’t have a spell for that. 

“Well, you can’t get it now. Miss Coddle locked the room.”

Galinda whines, rocking on her feet. “But I need it! It has all my assignments for tomorrow!”

She looks distraught, although thankfully not nearly as panicked and frantic as Elphaba has seen her be before. 

“It’s fine, it’ll be fine. We can go grab it before class in the morning.”

Galinda stills, eyes narrowing. “Early morning, right? Before breakfast. Before anyone else can get there and snatch it?”

“I doubt anyone is going to steal your bag, Galinda. They’d probably just return it to you.”

“Please, Elphaba? First thing in the morning?”

Elphaba sighs. So much for catching up on sleep tonight. “Sure, Galinda. First thing in the morning.”

Galinda brightens at that, her previous distress blowing away as she shakes her heels off and starts going about her normal routine. “Perfect! And no taking it back in the morning. We have to go bright and early.”

Elphaba squashes a groan. “The classroom may not even be open in the morning.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Galinda waves off. She pulls the clips out of her hair, grinning at Elphaba through the mirror. A hint of something, maybe nerves or apprehension, likely just the lingering panic of realizing her stuff was missing, colors her deep chocolate eyes. 

Galinda’s grin twitches. “I’ve got a plan.”

Chapter Text

True to her word, Galinda wakes Elphaba bright and early the next day. Actually- it’s so early it isn’t bright, and Elphaba is pretty sure Galinda didn’t actually sleep at all. 

“Did you get any rest last night?” she chides gently, as Galinda hustles about the room. The girl is speedrunning through her normal routine, Elphaba still trying to get her brain to fully boot up despite the darkness still shrouding their window. 

She doesn’t so much as glance at the clock. She doesn’t want to know. 

“I’m fine,” Galinda shoots back, pausing in front of her mirror to fix her already perfect hair. The light gleams from brand-new bulbs, the broken ones having been fixed by the time Elphaba woke up the next morning. She wouldn’t be surprised if Galinda had a whole stash of extras hidden somewhere in her mess of ten thousand trunks. 

The blonde whirled past, knocking twice on the edge of Elphaba’s bed. “Stop worrying about my sleeping habits and get dressed! We have to get down there before anyone sees us breaking in.”

Elphaba groans, still not totally on board with this plan. She knows Galinda needs the books and papers in her bag for her first class, but she’s not sure why they can’t just ask someone in administration to open the door for them instead of literally breaking and entering. Dillamond doesn’t usually open his classroom until the afternoon, but someone has the keys. 

Like Miss Coddle. She is who locked up last night, after all. 

“Elphaba, come on,” Galinda says. She yanks at Elphaba’s sheets to expose her to the chilly morning air. “You promised.”

The blonde pouts at her, something frazzled and anxious in her expression that finally convinces Elphaba to get moving. Galinda can be quite…dramatic, sometimes. She tends to turn even the little things into big, overwhelming ordeals, and it was simply better for everyone’s sanity if Elphaba did her best to mitigate such overreactions. 

Galinda only gets worse as they near the classroom, fingers tangling together as she jumps as every shadow and creak. She presses into Elphaba at one point then suddenly jerks away, the pattern continuing as they walk until Elphaba gives in and grabs the girl’s hand to settle her down. 

“This was your idea,” Elphaba reminds her, a little peeved by Galinda’s twitchiness when they could have both still been in bed. 

“I know,” Galinda says, seemingly not even picking up on Elphaba’s tone. She rocks from foot to foot, taking in a deep breath as she eyes Dillamond’s door. It’s locked, of course. They knew it would be. But-

“Turn around,” Galinda commands. She pulls a bobby pin from her hair, fiddling with it as she motions for Elphaba to move. “Go on, I can’t do it with you watching.”

Rolling her eyes so hard it nearly hurts, Elphaba does as she’s told, waiting to hear the scratch of the lock being picked. She doesn’t hear anything for a moment, then sure enough- there’s the gentle, distinctive click of the door unlocking and then the quiet groan of it opening.

“We’re in,” Galinda whispers, sounding like a badly written character from one of Elphaba’s few adventure novels. She rolls her eyes again, brushing past the girl to enter the room without worry. 

“We are literally the only ones here,” Elphaba says, full volume in a way that makes Galinda cringe. 

“The professors may be awake, Elphaba!” 

“No one is awake, Galinda, because no one else is ridiculous enough to get up before dawn.”

Galinda’s face seems to fall a little at that which makes Elphaba feel bad for a moment, but then she reminds herself that her grumpy attitude is all Galinda’s doing in the first place. 

“Whatever. Do you see your bag?”

Perking up, Galinda hurries around the room, looking under desks that Elphaba is very sure they didn’t sit anywhere near last night. 

“Galinda--” she starts to say, but the blonde cuts her off, pushing at Elphaba’s shoulders and demanding she look over by the chalkboard. 

“Galinda, why would--”

“Just look!”

Sighing hard, Elphaba shakes her head but does as she’s told, peeking around the chalkboard and front of the room to no avail. The pink satchel isn’t anywhere in sight, although she does get a glimpse of the lesson Dillamond has prepared for their class that afternoon. She hadn’t bothered to walk to the other side and look yesterday. 

“Do you see anything?” comes Galinda’s strained voice, and Elphaba glances around the edge of the chalkboard to see her staring at Elphaba, her brow pinched and something frantic and expectant in the lines of her face.

“No, sorry,” Elphaba says. Her eyes scan the room and alight upon a familiar spot of color under the chair Galinda had been sitting in last night. “It’s right there- see? Right by your chair.”

But Galinda doesn’t move. She’s still looking Elphaba’s way, her gaze flicking between the girl and the chalkboard. She frowns harder, fingers pulling at each other as she hesitantly steps forward. She’s got this mildly panicked look to her that only grows when she steps around Elphaba to see the empty space behind her.

“Wha? B-but, I could’ve sworn…” Galinda sucks in a sharp breath, shoving her hands through her hair in a nervous tick Elphaba’s never seen her do before. Galinda hates messing up her hair.

She’s staring right at the chalkboard, Dillamond’s lesson splayed upside down and ready for him to flip the board over. Her shoulders are trembling slightly, her chest rising and falling in rapid heaves that only get quicker and quicker. 

“Galinda?” Elphaba asks, worry growing when the girl does nothing but stand there and shake.

“I- It’s-- It isn’t-- There’s not--” Galinda keeps trying to say something, but whatever it is gets stuck in her throat, leaving her stuttering and tripping over her own words. She spins around suddenly, startling Elphaba, looking up at the girl with wide, panicked eyes that are glazed with tears. 

“I don’t understand,” she whispers. “I counted- I--” She shakes her head, then again and again and again. She brings her arms around herself and digs her hands into the soft flesh of her upper arms, breathing growing even worse until it sounds like she’s barely even getting any air. 

“Hey, Galinda, what’s wrong? You’re trembling,” Elphaba says. She tries to keep her voice soothing, but for some reason Galinda absolutely sobs, nearly doubling over with the force of it. She gasps, coughing on broken breaths as Elphaba reaches out with desperate hands to grab her before she falls.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Galinda chants. She jerks and shivers, fighting the urge to both sink into Elphaba’s hold and yank herself away. She’s shaking so hard it must nearly hurt, and Elphaba feels her own panic rise as she watches the blonde fall apart. 

This is so much worse than she’s seen before. Galinda’s face is pale and streaked with tears, but her throat is red and strained with effort as she tries to breathe and fails to get any air. Elphaba pulls her closer, holding her when her legs turn wobbly, and somehow shuffles them both to a pair of chairs. 

“Breathe, Galinda,” Elphaba pleads, rubbing her hands up and down the girl’s goosebump-covered arms, trying to pry her fingers from their death grip. “You don’t need to apologize, just breathe.”

She tries to take a deep breath of her own in example, but Galinda isn’t paying any attention. She’s still muttering out broken bits of speech, apologies and nonsense that blur together into something entirely unintelligible. Her breaths come so quick she is full on hyperventillating.

“Shhh,” Elphaba soothes. “Just try and take a breath, okay? Follow me.”

She pulls on Galinda’s hands, intent on holding them so she stops trying to dig her nails into her skin, and it finally succeeds in getting the girl’s attention, wide watery eyes suddenly locked onto Elphaba’s. She freezes for a second, and it’s just long enough for Galinda to suddenly scramble into her lap, nearly knocking them both off the chairs as she slides onto Elphaba’s thighs and throws her arms around Elphaba’s neck. 

“I’m sorry,” she cries again. Her desperate gasps blow over Elphaba’s bare skin as the tiny girl shakes in her hold, Elphaba’s arms coming up instinctually to hold her in place. “I can’t d-do it, I’m sorry, Elphie, I-I-I’m getting it wr-wrong, I can’t--”

Galinda cuts off with a sob, tears wetting Elphaba’s collar. Elphaba rubs large circles over the girl’s trembling back, pushing aside her lingering awkwardness. There’s something panicked and raw and wild, something that sparks across her skin like lingering magic and makes every protective instinct in her body flare up.  

“Breathe,” Elphaba commands again, the push of her chest against Galinda’s becoming a steady rhythm that helps drown out the younger girl’s frantic apologies. 

She doesn’t even know what Galinda is apologizing for. Or why she’s so upset. From what she can tell, this whole incident came out of nowhere. But whatever the cause, she’ll do anything to get it to stop. Every fresh sob cuts like daggers into her heart, her magic storming under her skin at the sheer helplessness she feels. 

It takes several minutes for Galinda to calm down enough that the tears slow, her lungs expanding properly and her racing heart settling. She doesn’t move from her position, and Elphaba doesn’t make her, even as her own legs start to fall asleep from the pressure. Galinda’s hands are clenched in the fabric of Elphaba’s shirt, and she’s pressed as close as humanly possible. 

Elphaba has no idea how she’d even begin to explain what’s happening here if someone were to walk in, but at the moment, she doesn’t much care. All she cares about is Galinda, her friend, whose sadness makes it feel like something is breaking in her chest. 

There’s still so much that I don’t know. 

Eventually, Galinda sits back with a sniffle and a soft sigh, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand and blinking at Elphaba. Somehow, her makeup isn’t even smudged, and she looks shockingly composed and unblemished for someone who just spent nearly half an hour crying. Not even her eyes look puffy or red, all signs of her breakdown invisible behind the barrier of her makeup.

Okay, Elphaba can’t help but think. That’s impressive. 

“Sorry,” Galinda mumbles, her fingers playing with the edge of Elphaba’s shirt collar in a nervous pattern. 

“It’s okay,” Elphaba quickly reassures. “Do you feel better now?”

“I’m fine.” 

It’s a lie and they both know it. But the mood in the room has shifted, and there’s nothing left for Elphaba to do once Galinda gets to her feet except gather her things and follow the girl out into the hall. She wants to ask questions, a million of them, but she bites her tongue and manages to keep her mouth shut all the way down the hall. 

There’s a tiny moment, a slight hesitation where it seems Galinda wants nothing more than to go back to their dorm, her shoulders sagging in exhaustion, and it stretches just long enough that Elphaba knows she should do something. Say something. But it passes too quickly, and Elphaba can visibly see Galinda take a breath, straighten her spine, and slide her mask firmly into place. 

It would be more impressive if it weren’t so heartbreakingly sad. 

“Galinda…” Elphaba starts, hand reaching out in an aborted motion as though she can somehow convince the girl to take some time for herself for a change. 

But Galinda is already spinning around, sending her a tight smile as she heads toward the dining hall where there’s sure to be several other students grabbing breakfast before their first class. Elphaba’s hand stays out for a half-second longer, fingers curling around the lost chance that she knows she was too late to grab. 

***

Somehow, the day continues, classes passing like normal as Galinda meets up with her friends and acts as though nothing is wrong. She’s a little quieter, a little more subdued, but Elphaba is almost certain she’s the only one who notices. 

She keeps a close eye on the girl, picking up on the lingering tiredness and nerves. Galinda keeps checking the small calendar in her notebook, keeps turning to note the time on the clock. Her steps lack the bounce and flair they usually have, and her eyes have a hazy quality to them, as though her mind is somewhere far away. 

Elphaba barely gets any notes taken, even in Dr. Dillamond’s class--her favorite--as the majority of her attention goes to studying Galinda. She wracks her brain for any logical explanation for the incident that happened that morning. Was it just the accumulated stress finally hitting a boiling point? Maybe Galinda was due for a breakdown. She’d been pushing herself to the limit for weeks, after all. 

Elphaba’s pen creaks ominously, just on the edge of snapping in half as her fingers tighten in annoyance. She had told Galinda to slow down, to ease up, to try and rest. She had warned her that she’d stretch herself too thin. Thin enough to break. 

Elphaba sighs. A small voice in her head warns her that, if she’s not careful, she’ll be the one feeling spread too thin if she keeps up this constant worrying. But…

She glances over at Galinda again, the blonde currently walking silently beside her as they leave the classroom and make their way down the hall. Her makeup is pristine and her clothes are smooth and bright, but every inch of her screams exhausted to Elphaba. 

She can’t just ignore it. She can’t just stand aside and do nothing. Elphaba doesn’t know how she got so attached so quickly, but- someone has to take care of Galinda, and it’s pretty clear the blonde won’t do it herself. So. 

“Here,” Elphaba offers gently. Galinda looks up at her, brown eyes blinking slowly as she tilts her head in question. Elphaba smiles softly and wiggles her shoulder. “If you want to nap, no one will see you here.”

Elphaba had taken them to the little nook she’d discovered her first week at Shiz. A window seat in the restricted section of the library, only found because she had tried to sneak a few books out and realized that the lock on the section door was broken. 

Galinda glances from Elphaba’s shoulder to the closed door to Elphaba’s face, blinking slowly. She hasn’t said anything in hours, not a single word, and that, more than anything, makes worry tangle high in Elphaba’s stomach. She reaches out slowly, taking the books from Galinda’s hands and offering her shoulder once more. 

“I promise, no one will see,” she says. Her eyes soften, expression opening as she tries to convince the stubborn blonde. “Get some rest, Galinda. Please.”

Galinda nibbles on her bottom lip slightly, another habit Elphaba’s never seen before today. It doesn’t mar her glossy lipstick, but it does seem to finally beat her hesitation. She gives Elphaba a tiny nod and pulls her feet up onto the seat to get more comfortable. 

Instead of laying her head on Elphaba’s shoulder, however, she ends up leaning all the way over and using Elphaba’s lap as her pillow instead. One of Elphaba’s hands plays with the blonde strands in front of her as the other carefully holds up a book, her throat clearing softly before she begins reading out loud. 

Galinda’s shoulders slowly lose their tension, her weight across Elphaba’s lap growing heavier as she sinks closer to sleep. Elphaba times the gentle strokes through the girl’s hair to her own deep breaths, hoping the pattern will lure Galinda into following along. 

They only have a little while until Elphaba has to get ready for her class with Morrible, but for right now, the room is empty but for their steady breathing and the sun has dipped far enough that the glow is easy on the eyes. 

“Thank you,” Galinda whispers at last, the first words she’s said all day. They tumble out in a sleepy mumble, and Elphaba waits so long to answer that she’s fairly certain Galinda is already asleep. 

“Always.”

***

Later that day--Galinda having woken from her nap looking a little more like her normal self--Elphaba tries her best to pay attention to Madame Morrible as she leads her through yet another levitation exercise. 

Who would’ve thought a single coin could be so damn frustrating? 

“It’s not working,” Elphaba sighs, slumping in her seat as guilt and frustration tangle in her chest. “Sorry, Madame.”

“That’s alright, Miss Elphaba.” The sorceress moves to sit in front of Elphaba, gazing at her gently. “Tell me, what is it you are feeling right now?”

Elphaba frowns, eyes skating away from the woman’s piercing gaze. “I-I don’t know. Ashamed, maybe? I should be better at this by now.”

“My dear, it takes time to master these skills. You have already shown much progress.”

“It just- it doesn’t feel like it!” Elphaba swallows hard, voice softening. “I don’t want to let you down.”

Morrible takes one of Elphaba’s hands in her own, patting her gently as she speaks. “You are not letting anyone down, Elphaba. We will figure this out. Together.” 

Determination brews in Elphaba’s gut at the conviction in her teacher’s words, and she focuses once more on the little gold coin sitting on the stack of books. She lets Morrible guide her hand, feels the rumble of her own power as it rises to the surface, feels the shake of the table and chairs. And yet-

Elphaba slams a hand down on the table, nearly growling in frustration. The coin didn’t even wobble. 

“Easy now,” Morrible says, standing once more. She runs a hand across Elphaba’s tense shoulders. “What are you feeling, Elphaba? Describe it to me.”

Elphaba tries, but- she’s never been very good at talking about her own emotions. Morrible hums, moving in graceful circles around the room. 

“Let’s try something else then,” she says. Her dress sweeps around her legs; her voice is calm and gentle. “Tell me about your childhood.”

“M-my childhood? Why would you--”

“Just indulge me, dear. I promise, there’s a lesson here.”

Elphaba’s brow knits together in faint confusion, but after a moment, she swallows her doubts and starts to talk. She eases into it, stumbling over her own story as she explains how she grew up in Munchkinland, taught by tutors and always looking out for her little sister. 

“Did you enjoy having to be your sister’s caregiver?” Morrible asks.

“Yes, of course. I love Nessa, she- I was happy to help.”

“And what of your friends?”

Elphaba’s eyes find the table in front of her. “I didn’t really have any,” she admits. At Morrible’s prompting, she cautiously explains the bullying she had faced, opening up to the woman about things she’d never told anyone before. 

Something about the peaceful lull of the classroom makes it easier to confess, and Elphaba feels like a weight has been taken off her chest as she finally gets to say that it was wrong. That it wasn’t fair. 

“And how did that make you feel, dear?” Morrible slides back into her seat in front of Elphaba, expression open and kind. 

Years of pain and anger boiled in Elphaba’s veins, her hands clenching into fists as she tried to put her feelings into words. The hurt, the sadness, the overwhelming loneliness. The way she’d blamed herself for years for things she had no control over. 

“No one should be scorned, or laughed at, or looked down upon, or--” Elphaba’s breath catches, her emotions tangling in her chest until she can barely breathe around them. Her skin tightens, her magic shrieks, and the room is shaking, her hands are shaking, the coin is shaking, and Elphaba doesn’t even notice until--

Glass shatters, the cry of it echoing in the classroom as Elphaba suddenly gasps for air. She blinks startled eyes at the cabinet across the room just in time to see the coin fall to the floor. 

“Remarkable,” Morrible whispers. “Absolutely remarkable.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Elphaba stammers, pulling her hands back into her lap as she swallows hard. She hadn’t meant to lose control, again. Her mind flashes to just a few nights ago when she’d broken all the bulbs on Galinda’s mirror. 

But Morrible is smiling at her, eyes shiny and bright. “This is what I was getting at,” she explains. “Once you learn to control your emotions, well, the sky’s the limit. It could lead you to the Wizard himself.”

At the mention of the ruler of Oz, Elphaba feels her heart skip a beat in her chest. Morrible hadn’t said anything about the man since that first day, and Elphaba had been clinging to the hope that she hadn’t misinterpreted the older woman. 

The Wizard. Could it really be? Little ole Elphaba, could she one day meet the Wizard?

She suppresses the childish urge to giggle, soaking in her teacher’s praise with a wide grin. Morrible moves even closer, her hand running up and down Elphaba’s arm. “And my dear, once you are with the Wizard, no one will ever laugh at you again. Not even the students here at Shiz would dare.”

“Oh.” Elphaba chuckles nervously, shaking her head. “The students here have actually been pretty nice to me.”

“Aren’t some of them those same kids from Munchkinland?”

“W-well, yes, but, um. They’ve changed, I think. Matured. A-and I have Galinda, of course. She’s my friend.” And everyone loves Galinda. 

Morrible’s head tilts, something almost…pitying entering her eyes. “Ah, yes. Miss Upland. Your…friend.”

Something about the way she says it, leaning back in her chair with a quirk to her lips, makes defensiveness leap to Elphaba’s tongue. “She is! Galinda is a wonderful friend. She’s been really helpful at getting me acclimated to Shiz.”

“Oh, I’m sure it must feel that way. But--and I say this only because I care so much for you, my dear--I just want you to be careful. I’ve been privy to many of the whispers and rumors that float around this school, and I’ve seen more classes of students pass through these halls than you could imagine. There is always someone like Galinda Upland. Someone who will do whatever it takes to get ahead.”

Morrible gives Elphaba’s hand one last pat and rises from the table. “For your sake, I hope Miss Upland truly is your friend. But in my experience, a leopard cannot change its spots. Not with all the pink bows in the world.”

***

Elphaba stews on Morrible’s words the whole walk back to the dorm. Whispers? Rumors? Were there things going around the school that she didn’t know about? Things that had to do with her?

A part of her wants to ask Galinda about it, but a part of her also doesn’t want to know. Doesn’t want to break this bubble she’s found herself in where she really truly cares for someone, and she thinks they care for her, too. 

Galinda is her friend. Morrible’s concerns, while not unfounded, are without weight here. Galinda isn’t like that. She just isn’t. 

…right?

I was so awful to you. I was wicked.

Galinda’s own words bounce around in Elphaba’s head. But- that was just her nightmare talking. Right? Her own insecurities, not things she had actually done. Galinda is just a girl, one whose struggles are invisible to people like Morrible.

Elphaba pushes the door open slowly, prepared for Galinda to bound up to her like usual. The younger girl hated to be separated for very long, and she was always agitated whenever Elphaba had her lessons with Morrible. 

Sure enough, Galinda is waiting for her, rocking from side to side nervously as she looks at Elphaba. Despite this, she actually looks a little better than she did earlier, having lost the haze that had fallen over her chocolate eyes after her strange incident in Dillamond’s room.

“Hi,” Galinda whispers, the barest ghost of a smile on the edge of her lips.

“Hi,” Elphaba says back. She dumps her bag onto her bed and moves across the room to where Galinda, surprisingly, has waited for her. “Did you eat dinner yet?” she asks, although she’s fairly sure she knows the answer.

“I was waiting for you.”

“Let’s go now, then. Before it gets too dark.”

She really doesn’t want to be out on campus so late again. Last night was enough for her.

Galinda hesitates, her gaze flicking to the window where evening light is starting to fade into shadows. She hums nervously, looking back to Elphaba with a slight tilt of her head.

“Are you- Do you have any plans…tonight?”

“Plans?”

“Um. A-are you going anywhere?”

Elphaba blinks, processing. “…no,” she says carefully. “Did you expect me to be?”

Galinda’s gaze flits to the window once more before sliding sideways to the large calendar propped by her desk. “No,” she finally whispers. “I guess not.”

Weird.

Elphaba shakes it off. Probably just another moment of Galinda’s clinginess shining through. She didn’t mind the girl needing her to be close tonight, though. Not after the panic of this morning.

Even Elphaba doesn’t want to stray too far from Galinda tonight.

“Come on,” she beckons, hoping a good, warm meal will help soothe some of the lingering nerves. “Let’s go eat.”

This time, she takes Galinda’s hand from the start, leading her down the hallway. As they cross the courtyard, she sees a shadow flicker in the corner of her eye, her attention drawn to a darkness at the edge of campus.

She can’t quite make out what it was, probably just an animal of some kind, but as she turns away, hand locked in Galinda’s, there’s a little tiny part of her that feels like she’s forgetting something.

Or perhaps, more accurately, missing something.

Chapter Text

That night, late enough that Elphaba has let the restless rustles of Galinda’s bedsheets lure her to sleep, she is dragged back into consciousness by the sound of a soft voice.

“Elphaba?” Galinda whispers. Elphaba cracks an eye open to see the blonde standing by her bedside, shifting from foot to foot as her eyes flick from the window to Elphaba’s bed.

She’s been doing that all night, eyeing the windows even well after the sun has set. At first, Elphaba had wondered if she was waiting for something. But there was a gleam to the girl’s brown eyes that seemed almost…fearful. As if Galinda was scared of the sun’s approach. 

As if she was scared of what tomorrow may bring.

“What?” Elphaba mumbles, blinking groggily and shifting to get a better look at Galinda. It’s dark in their room, almost pitch black but for the faint glow of the pink fairy lights near Galinda’s bed. The blonde never liked to sleep in total darkness.

“C-can I--” Galinda starts, voice trembling. She cuts herself off, shrinking into herself before she can even finish the question. “Never mind.”

But Elphaba is already awake, growing steadily more aware as she drinks in the sight of Galinda’s pale form. Her cream-colored nightgown blends into her skin in the shadows of night, the moonlight washing her out until she’s nothing but a ghost. She’s shivering harshly, even though it’s nowhere near cold tonight.

Elphaba still has a lot to learn about being someone’s friend, and she has even more to learn about Galinda specifically. But she’s been an older sister for nearly twenty years, and she’s seen that same scared-guilty-embarassed look too many times to count. 

She wonders if Galinda had another nightmare. Or- perhaps is scared of having one when she finally manages to sleep. Elphaba tosses an idea around in her head, nibbling at her inner cheek as she contemplates, but there is something about the way Galinda looks right now, like she has already been rejected, that makes up Elphaba’s mind. 

“Do you…want to sleep with me tonight?” Elphaba asks, praying that she hasn’t misread this. There’s an awkward pause where she almost takes back her words before Galinda is looking up at her with wide wide eyes and nodding quickly.

Elphaba slowly shifts to the side, pressing herself further toward the wall as she lifts the blankets in invitation. Galinda creeps forward, hesitating slightly on the edge of the bed and looking to Elphaba again like she’s asking permission. The older girl gives her a gentle nod.

Elphaba can feel Galinda’s shivers across the sheets as the younger girl slips in beside her, curling into herself with only a few inches of bed between them. Even though they’ve napped together twice now, actually being under the sheets is oddly intimate, and Elphaba feels a shiver run down her own spine at the feel of Galinda’s quick breaths ghosting over her collarbone. 

Galinda shifts slightly and the bed creaks, making the girl wince. “Sorry,” she whispers. She sucks in a trembling inhale and then shrinks even further back, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t-- I’m sorry.”

She looks like she’s about to leave, so Elphaba reaches out and curls her fingers gently around the girl’s thin wrist, feeling her pulse racing under her fingertips even as Galinda’s chest freezes completely. “You don’t have to apologize,” Elphaba says. “I invited you.”

Galinda finally exhales after a clock tick, shaky and long. Her eyes are so big and so dark Elphaba feels like she could drown in them, lost forever in their chocolate depths, swimming amongst the starry reflections that shine back at her. When Galinda gulps and looks away, Elphaba can’t help the way her eyes follow the dip of her throat, her pale skin lit by the faint moonlight.

Elphaba slips her grip down from Galinda’s wrist to her hand, giving it a light squeeze. She shuffles into a comfortable position, sinking back into her pillow and making sure there’s plenty of room for Galinda. “Get some rest, Galinda,” she says, hoping the other girl will get the message and relax. 

Galinda sighs, one hand pulling her knees to her chest as the other comes up toward her face. She always sleeps like that- as far as Elphaba has seen. It makes her look so young, curled into a tiny ball with her nose tucked under her fist like a child who still sucks on her thumb. 

It’s cute. But there’s something almost sad about it, as if Galinda is used to having to comfort herself, her own arms the only ones who will hold her. The scant space between them on the bed feels miles wide, and Elphaba wishes she had the courage to breach it. 

But Elphaba is a coward, one whose own heartbeat pounds so loudly in her ears that she can’t imagine trying to speak over it. She closes her eyes, tense and awkward, and wills the hours to pass quickly. She knew, the minute she invited Galinda into bed with her, that she wouldn’t be getting a lick of sleep herself. 

Galinda falls asleep still scared of meeting tomorrow. Elphaba stays awake and imagines tomorrow can’t come soon enough.

***

Despite drifting into only the barest level of sleep, Elphaba greets the rising sun with ease, her head clear and ready for the day. Maybe it’s because, even if she didn’t manage to get any proper REM, she did manage to rest , relaxing in a state of semi-awareness in a way that left her feeling oddly peaceful. 

She blinks against the growing brightness, smiling to herself at the sight that greets her. A sleeping Galinda will never not be a wonder to behold. Elphaba’s smile dips, though, when she notices how much worse Galinda looks when she’s stripped down like this, her makeup erased to show the deep bruises around her eyes and the wane complexion of her skin. 

Her cheeks look nearly hollow, her cheekbones standing out not dissimilar to her sharp collarbone. Bony, in general, was a good word to describe Galinda these days, and it was really starting to worry Elphaba. 

Even while actively sleeping, she somehow looks exhausted. 

“What am I going to do with you?” Elphaba whispers. Her heart aches to help the girl, but she really doesn’t know how. There’s no clear reason for why Galinda is in such a state. She’s just a student- she shouldn’t look like she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. 

At exactly the minute to the hour, Galinda’s eyes blink open, nose scrunching and eyelids squinting as she takes in the way the sunlight beams right down onto Elphaba’s bed. There’s a moment of sleepy confusion where her gaze roams around before it lands on Elphaba and breaks into a dopey smile.

“Hi, Elphie,” she whispers. Her dimple pokes out of lightly pink cheeks, something soft and precious in her eyes that makes Elphaba feel the distance between them all too starkly. 

“Morning,” she croaks back. She clears her throat, embarrassed, but the tiny giggle she receives in response is more than worth it. 

Galinda stretches lazily, jaw cracking in a yawn, and then she slips right over the side of the bed, popping up with bright eyes as if she’s instantly wide awake. Like a psychopath.  

Elphaba groans deeply, unable to even imagine moving around so quickly after waking up. She chooses to nuzzle even deeper into her pillow instead, rolling over to the proper middle of the bed now that Galinda isn’t taking up the other half. 

The lack of noise is what gets her to reopen her eyes, brows scrunched in confusion as she looks up at Galinda, who is still standing by her bedside simply…watching her. Her bambi eyes now look a little lost and distant, not in a sleepy way, but in a way that tells Elphaba that whatever had been on her mind last night has finally caught back up to her. 

“Hey,” she calls softly, waiting for Galinda to refocus. “It’ll be okay.”

She doesn’t know what’s worrying Galinda, but she’s confident that whatever it is, Elphaba can help her through it. Besides. Knowing Galinda, it’s likely not nearly as serious as the girl thinks. 

There’s a slight waver to Galinda’s answering smile, though, that tells her Galinda doesn’t quite believe her. 

***

Elphaba has just stepped into the bathroom to start her own (much shorter) morning routine when the announcement comes. She finishes brushing her teeth quickly, pulling her hair into a simple braid as she walks out to the sound of Miss Coddle’s voice over the speakers. 

“Attention, students. It is my honor to announce that Prince Fiyero Tigelaar of Winkie Country will be filling out our student body, having transferred from the Royal Winkie Academy. Please help him feel welcome without making direct eye contact.”

There’s a clamor of noise washing in from their open balcony door, something fluttering to the ground out of the corner of her eye. But Elphaba’s gaze is locked on Galinda, who is frozen in the center of the room, her face drained of all color and her eyes wide like she’s just seen a ghost. 

“Galinda?” she questions, cautiously stepping forward. The girl whips her head around to stare at her for a second before her eyes slides down toward the paper drifting across the floor. 

She reaches down and grabs it, and Elphaba is able to spot the big bold ‘Prince Fiyero’ written across the front page. Galinda’s hands are shaking so hard the whole paper is trembling and blurry, the small print unable to be read. 

“B-but, but I thought-- So I was--” Galinda’s chest quivers in shaky, quick breaths as she crumples the paper up and turns to look at her giant, sparkly calendar. She moves toward the balcony after a second, staring out sightlessly. “Fiyero,” she breathes. 

“Um.” Elphaba is not quite sure how to proceed. She’s really hoping to avoid a full breakdown like what happened yesterday morning, but Galinda’s behavior is a bit all over the place. “Do you…know him?”

Galinda is now frozen, staring, her chest rising and falling too fast for comfort. Elphaba is starting to think things won’t simply be ‘okay’ because Elphaba has no idea what’s wrong here. Does Galinda know the prince? Is she just freaking out over his arrival because he is a prince? That would be on brand. 

But there’s this haunted look on Galinda’s face right now that is far from the excitement one would expect from someone who is looking forward to a person’s arrival. Galinda looks more like, well, she looks more like the thought of Fiyero coming to Shiz terrifies her. 

Maybe she does know him. Maybe it didn’t…go well. Between them, that is.

Leave it to Galinda to have bad relations with a prince from a whole other part of Oz. 

“Hey, Galinda, talk to me,” Elphaba prompts. “Tell me what’s wrong.” So I can help you. 

“N-nothing,” Galinda whispers, but it’s so unconvincing Elphaba just sighs in response. 

One day, she hopes Galinda will open up and tell her what’s really going on in her mind. How is Elphaba supposed to trust Galinda if Galinda doesn’t trust her? 

***

Elphaba ends up going down first, Galinda saying she needs more time to get properly ‘prince’ ready. Galinda flying into a fuss over wanting to look her best is at least slightly more familiar ground, so Elphaba does as asked, skirting past the dining hall to grab a quick muffin to go before she tracks down Nessarose in the library. 

She hasn’t gotten a lot of time to spend with her sister one-on-one lately since almost all her free time has been with Galinda. She doesn’t know if Galinda just doesn’t like Nessarose--Elphaba doesn’t think Galinda is like that, truly--but she tends to try and avoid the younger girl. 

Elphaba hasn’t brought it up yet. She knows she tends to get defensive over her sister, and she doesn’t want to start another fight with Galinda. 

This morning, Elphaba is hustling a bit, not looking where she’s going as she unwinds the wrapper around her muffin. There’s some sort of commotion near the courtyard as she passes, but she pays it no mind as she makes her way to the library. She’s almost there, too, when there’s a clatter of hooves and a blur of blue fur and she twists to the side just in time to escape being trampled. 

“Hey!” she yells, fumbling to keep her muffin from falling to the ground. 

She whips her head around with a glare, and her eyes narrow as she takes in what can only be the famed Prince Tigelaar. He’s staring back with bright blue eyes, reining in his Horse who also is exclaiming in surprise. 

Elphaba startles a little at the sight of a Horse being ridden by a prince. Interesting. Fiyero swings down from the saddle now that everyone is still, and Elphaba feels her annoyance return, even if a small part of her knows she’s likely the one who walked right into their path. 

Galinda had been scared of this prince. Whoever he is, he’s surely no one good. 

“Is this how you go through life? Just running amok and trampling anyone in your path?” she accuses. 

The prince’s eyes widen and he holds his hands up in mocking surrender. “Sorry, miss, you came out of nowhere!” he says, voice accented and smooth. A smirk pulls at the edge of his lips as he takes her in. “And Horses can’t see green so well.”

There’s a snort from behind them at the teasing remark, but it just makes Elphaba’s annoyance grow. She doesn’t bother saying anything else- she knows his type. Instead, she turns on her heel and promptly walks away. 

“Wha- wait!” Fiyero calls, succeeding in getting Elphaba to pause. He hooks a thumb over his shoulder toward the courtyard where students have been gathering all morning and shoots her what she’s sure he thinks is a winning smile. “I could use a guide if you’re willing?”

Elphaba’s eyes roll so hard little spots crowd the corners. “No thanks,” she says and resumes walking away, tossing her comment over her shoulder. “Get stuffed.”

She leaves the prince blinking in her wake, popping a bite of muffin in her mouth and scoffing lightly. She can see why Galinda would like him. She can also see why she wouldn’t. 

Elphaba’s mood lifts when she sees her sister, sliding in next to her with a brief greeting. Elphaba loves Shiz’s library- its open-concept design, the way the breeze flows through the room, the smell of the bay and the sound of the students. 

“Hi!” Nessarose chirps. She swings her head around, eyes bright, and Elphaba recognizes the paper in her hands. “Did you see this? There’s a prince coming to Shiz!”

Oh good gracious. “Not you, too,” Elphaba groans. “Nessa, he’s just a boy. A rather rude one, I imagine.”

“Fabala, he’s a prince.” 

“So? If Munchkinland was a monarchy, the two of us would essentially be princesses.”

Nessarose rolls her eyes fondly. “It’s not the same,” she says, voice warm. She tosses the paper aside, though, in order to catch up with her sister properly. 

Elphaba feels a little guilty for not spending time with her sister after promising to take care of her, but she feels a bit better after hearing Nessa gush about how happy she is being at Shiz and making new friends. It seems her sister appreciates the space, so Elphaba won’t tell her that it was unintentional. 

A commotion by the entrance interrupts their conversation a little while later. Elphaba has been checking the clock periodically, wondering if Galinda will be making her way down soon, but it’s the prince himself that comes through the open doorway, a crowd of students following him led by Pfannee and ShenShen. 

Ugh. Nessarose perks up, eyes following the group as they weave around the tables. Elphaba’s attention, however, has been pulled to just behind the group, where there’s a flicker of gold hiding in the shadows of one of the entries. 

Galinda. 

The blonde is staring at the prince as well, her face so pale that even in the morning light, she looks like a ghost. Elphaba gets up right away, murmuring something to Nessarose as she makes her way quickly across the wooden floor. She sees Fiyero attempt to catch her eye and resolutely ignores him as she passes. 

“Galinda?” she calls out when she nears the blonde, the girl’s gaze still locked on the prince. She’s trembling slightly, hugging her books to her chest. “Galinda? Hey, look at me.”

Galinda finally tears her eyes away, moving instinctually toward Elphaba when the taller girl reaches out. Their hands clasp together, Elphaba tugging Galinda out of the corner as her thumb runs soothingly over the blonde’s knuckles. She may not know why Galinda is so hesitant to see the prince. But Elphaba will support her no matter what. 

“Come on,” Elphaba says, leading her toward the table she just left and firmly ignoring the boy on the other side of the room. “I saved you a muffin.”

She’s just about to say something else, perhaps ask if Galinda would be more comfortable going elsewhere until class starts, when another voice floats across the library and cuts her off. 

“So, what do you do for fun around here?”  

At the sound of the prince’s voice, Galinda absolutely freezes, slamming to a halt so quickly that Elphaba almost trips over her own feet at the tug it gives to her arm. She looks back, concerned, and sees Galinda just staring at the prince again, mouthing something that Elphaba can’t quite catch. 

A shudder runs through Galinda, growing stronger until her whole body is shaking, something panicked filling her eyes as her hand comes up to her mouth to smother the sound of a sob. She’s lucky that, for once, no one is paying attention to her, all their eyes on Prince Fiyero, because it means no one sees when Galinda, the golden girl of Shiz, turns around and runs. 

She sprints out of the library, away away away. So fast that Elphaba, startled at first, struggles to catch up even with longer legs and the benefit of not wearing heels. Galinda disappears around bends in the winding path, Elphaba just barely managing to catch sight of flashes of blonde and pink to lead her onward. 

Galinda gets deep into the spiraling gardens, tucked far out of sight between the large bushes and trellises that rise over their heads, before she finally runs out of steam. She collapses to the ground, chest heaving, and she’s coughing, wheezing, nearly choking on her effort to get air. 

Elphaba gets there just in time to see Galinda glance up at her, her face stark white and sweat beading on her temple, before she sees those gorgeous brown eyes roll back, and Galinda, finally at the end of her rope, falls right into Elphaba’s arms.

Chapter Text

Elphaba tries not to panic, but it’s a pretty tall ask when she’s holding Galinda’s limp body, her knees stinging from where she’d slammed to the dirt in time to grab the girl. Galinda’s head lolls across Elphaba’s shoulder, her breaths still somehow too quick even while unconscious. 

“When I said to rest, this is not what I meant,” Elphaba says aloud, a touch of hysteria to her tone. She shifts Galinda to be a little more comfortable and pats gently on her cheek. 

Please wake up, please wake up, I have no idea what I’m doing! 

“Galinda? Hey, Galinda, wake up! Open your eyes.”

She’s almost certainly doing several things wrong, but Elphaba can barely think over the pounding of her heart, so she jostles Galinda slightly and hopes that the girl wakes soon. Thankfully, not even a full minute passes before Galinda’s eyelids are fluttering and she whines low in her throat. 

“Oh thank Oz,” Elphaba breathes. She really had no idea what she would’ve done if Galinda was properly knocked cold. “Galinda? Can you hear me?”

There’s a faint hum of acknowledgment, but Galinda doesn’t move or open her eyes. She just stays slumped in Elphaba’s lap, pale and clammy. When Elphaba grabs her wrist, she finds the girl’s pulse to be racing, and she’s trembling all over. 

Fuck. Elphaba doesn’t even know if Galinda passed out because she was panicking, hyperventilating, running, or if she passed out because of a lack of food or sleep. Likely, it was some dangerous combination of all of them. 

Galinda scoots forward a tad more, eyes still closed, and when she whispers her next words, they ghost across the bare skin of Elphaba’s neck, wrapping it in silken vines that strangle the air from Elphaba’s throat. 

“I can’t do this,” Galinda breathes. Her voice wobbles and breaks and chokes on her tears until suddenly she is sobbing. “I can’t, Elphie, I can’t do it.”

Elphaba feels ice slide down her spine, a chill of dread and fear rooting into her stomach. She’s watched Galinda for weeks, gotten closer to her day by day, knowing something was wrong but too afraid to push the girl for answers. She had brushed it off as first-year stress or homesickness or general anxiety about school and friends and life. The pressure of being popular.

But the way Galinda sounds now--tired and broken and utterly defeated--makes Elphaba’s gut churn with sickness. She sounds like a person at the end of their rope, their aching fingers just begging them to let go. 

She sounds like she’s apologizing when she says the words ‘I can’t.’

Elphaba sucks in a sharp breath and holds Galinda even tighter. “Yes, you can,” she says firmly. She squeezes her eyes shut and grasps for any emotion that isn’t fear. Annoyance. Irritation. Even anger will do the trick. 

Just something that will make her less terrified to lose this girl in her arms.

“Whatever it is you think you can’t do, you can, Galinda. I-I believe in you. And I’ll help you, just tell me how.” She’s nearly begging now. 

Galinda’s breath gusts out of her in a heavy sigh, her nose nuzzling down by Elphaba’s neck. “You can’t,” she whispers, and it cracks through Elphaba’s chest like a hammer, shattering the barrier Elphaba has spent a lifetime building around her heart. 

“Don’t say that,” she chokes out. “You don’t get to decide what I can and can’t do. I want to help you, Galinda, I do.”

The desire, the need, to do so floods her system, burning in her cheeks and chest and palms as her magic lashes out in response to her fear. 

“Why?” Galinda asks, sniffly and forlorn. She pulls back and looks at Elphaba with wide, watery eyes. 

“Because I care about you!” Elphaba blurts out. Both girls are surprised by her outburst, silence stretching between them for a clock tick. Elphaba curls her hands into fists, swallowing hard and trying to catch her breath.

Galinda’s sobs seem to have been startled into stopping, and for a moment, there’s nothing but the heavy sounds of the pair of them breathing, Elphaba trying to parse through her feelings, gaze skittering to the side so she doesn’t have to look Galinda in the eye. 

“I-I care about you, Galinda,” she finally whispers. “I can’t keep watching you kill yourself. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep. Please- let me help you.”

Elphaba sees Galinda’s shoulders slump in the corner of her eye, her chin dropping to her chest. Elphaba’s palms are itching with the burn of magic too close to the surface, her emotions a whirlwind she can’t begin to explain, but she reaches out to slip one hand into Galinda’s. The feel of the other girl’s fingers threading into hers helps soothe the heat, steadying Elphaba’s heart and lungs and being. 

“Please, Galinda,” Elphaba repeats. She takes her other hand and gently lifts the blonde’s chin so those big brown eyes have to meet her own. “Let me take care of you.”

Her voice is as gentle as it gets, but Elphaba can still see the way her words break something inside of Galinda, something shattering in her eyes and leaving Galinda gasping for air around fresh new sobs.

Elphaba takes a deep breath, her own eyes stinging, gathering Galinda closer and holding her until the tears start to settle again. Elphaba holds her as tight as she dares and hopes it is enough to keep Galinda from falling completely apart. 

“Galinda,” Elphaba eventually says. The younger girl’s sobbing has turned to soft little sniffles, and she’s entirely limp in Elphaba’s arms. “Can you sit up for me?”

Galinda whines but does as she’s told, pushing back so she’s kneeling in the dirt across from Elphaba, their knees touching lightly as Elphaba keeps the blonde’s hands in her own. Galinda is pale and blinking quickly like maybe she’s still dizzy and disoriented, but Elphaba will take what she can get. 

They need to recoup. The air is heavy with the weight of the last few moments, big feelings and big hearts left reeling in the wake of all that was said and left unsaid. Elphaba still wants answers, real answers, but she also knows Galinda is entirely wrung out and exhausted. 

The last thing she needs is to be interrogated right now. Elphaba thinks she got through to the girl a little, broke past one of the barriers Galinda had around her heart- but she doesn’t want to push it when the girl is still so clearly fragile and conflicted. 

“Alright,” Elphaba says gently. “Here’s the plan. We’re going to stand up and go to the dining hall, okay? You need to eat and drink something. And then we’re going to go to our dorm so you can take a nap.”

Galinda frowns at her, a tiny pinch to her expression. “What about class?”

For once, school is the last thing on Elphaba’s mind. “I’ll have Nessa give us her notes.”

She watches with keen interest as Galinda seems to almost…wince slightly at Nessa’s name. A question for another time. For now, Elphaba stands carefully, holding onto Galinda and supporting her when she sways. She would love to give the blonde another piggyback ride, but she knows Galinda would protest being seen that way. 

Thankfully, it seems most of the students are already in class or sufficiently distracted somewhere else as the pair hobble over to the mostly empty dining hall. Elphaba picks out a few foods that should help raise Galinda’s blood sugar and give her a bit of an energy boost. She doesn’t quite know what caused the collapse, but she’ll cover all the bases just to be sure. 

And--as much as it kills her--she’ll save the questions for later. 

Even the ones regarding a certain blue-eyed prince. 

***

After some food, some rest, and a change of clothes, Galinda is looking and feeling much more like herself. She still clings to Elphaba’s arm as they head to lunch, however, approaching the hub of students like a soldier marching to the front lines. 

Elphaba stops them right outside the entryway, reaching out to gently touch Galinda’s chin so her gaze will turn from the doorway to Elphaba. “Hey,” Elphaba says softly. “I’m here.”

She hasn’t left Galinda’s side all day. When they’d gotten back to the dorm, Galinda had refused to let go of Elphaba, so Elphaba had let the girl tug her over to her bed, sitting upright against the headboard with a book in her lap as Galinda fell asleep at her side. 

Elphaba was glad to have discovered that little reading trick to help the girl get some rest. And even if Galinda had jerked back awake not too long after, Elphaba had at least convinced her to just lay there and relax for a bit.

“I won’t let him speak to you if you’re worried about that,” Elphaba continues. She may not know what, exactly, is the issue with Prince Fiyero, but she’ll side with Galinda no matter what. 

But Galinda leans back, eyes wide and startled. “What do you mean?” she stammers out. 

Elphaba frowns. “The prince. Fiyero. You…know him, right?”

Galinda gapes at her, glossy pink lips quivering. She swallows hard and ducks her head. “N-no,” she mutters. “I don’t. I…I know of him. By reputation. And…and I guess he just- reminds me of someone.”

“Oh.” Elphaba shifts uncomfortably, still feeling like Galinda isn’t telling her everything. She wonders who the prince reminds her of, though. It certainly doesn’t seem like the memory is a very good one. 

“Well, regardless. If you don’t want to talk to anyone, you don’t have to. We can just grab some food and eat in the gardens if you want.”

Galinda shakes her head. “No,” she says firmly. She takes a breath and straightens her spine, stiffening her shoulders. Her gaze is determined when it lifts to meet Elphaba’s. “I want to just, to just get back to normal. Please, Elphaba?”

Elphaba looks down at the girl and sighs. “Are you sure? Your friends are…a lot.” She tries to make it as polite as she can, but her nose still scrunches a little in distaste. She likes Galinda, but her friends are a lot. 

Galinda smiles at her, the tiniest quirk of her lips. “I know,” she says softly. “But I don’t mind. I want to do something fun tonight. Something where I don’t have to think or worry.”

“Like what?”

Galinda shrugs. “I don’t know. Just…I just want to feel normal.”

There’s a thread of sincerity in Galinda’s tone that makes Elphaba want to believe her. She’s seen Galinda’s typical social outings, and they aren’t relaxing or fun or thoughtless at all. But if that’s what Galinda wants, Elphaba will find a way to make it happen. 

“Okay,” Elphaba agrees. “We’ll find something fun to do.”

The smile on Galinda’s face grows a little bit bigger, and Elphaba lets herself feel a tiny bit of hope that things will work out okay. 

***

“Fabala!” Nessarose calls out. She hurriedly wheels over to Elphaba, the older sister pausing with two trays in her hands. 

“Nessa? Are you okay?” she asks. Her sister is flushed, her eyes wide and sparkling. 

“Oh, I’m better than okay!” Nessa exclaims. She squeals happily, darting a look around before leaning in. “I got invited to a dance!” 

“A- a what?” 

Nessa laughs, discreetly pointing behind her. “The prince! He asked literally everyone in the library, Elphaba; you should’ve stuck around. I mean- he was flirting with pretty much everyone there.”

Judging by the faint blush on her sister’s cheeks, she really did mean everyone. “Oh really,” Elphaba drawls, eyes narrowing as she glances over at the prince. She’d tried to settle Galinda somewhere out of the way, but her pulse spikes when she notices Fiyero making his way over. 

“It’s not like that,” Nessa says, waving her hand. “He really was inviting everyone, and I just happened to be near enough to be included. He said we’re all going to the Ozdust tonight. The Ozdust. Can you believe it?!”

Um- no! The Ozdust is illegal; what was Fiyero thinking? 

But Elphaba sees the delight and excitement on her sister’s face and knows she can’t crush that. Nessarose deserves to have a proper college experience as well, and part of that is doing fun things like sneaking across the river to go dancing with a bunch of other friends. Feeling like part of the crowd. 

She’s glad her sister is fitting in. 

“That’s really great, Nessa,” Elphaba says. She glances over her shoulder again as she grabs a few last items. “I’m sure you’ll have a great time.”

“You’re invited too!” Nessa says. “Fiyero practically invited the whole school.”

“Oh, um, I-I couldn’t--”

“Come on, Fabala. Loosen up a bit! You’ve been kinda stressed lately; I can tell.”

She can? Elphaba curses herself. She hasn’t even spent that much time with Nessarose, but she supposes it’s just…sisterly intuition. Elphaba sighs, meeting her sister’s eyes.

“I’ll ask Galinda if she wants to go. But she’s been having a bit of a rough week,” she says carefully. Though…Galinda did say she wanted to do something fun.

Thankfully, Nessarose doesn’t push, just glances over at the blonde--now surrounded by pestering friends--and nods. “I get it,” she says. “You guys have gotten really close.”

“Yeah. Guess that’s what happens when you live with someone.” Elphaba gives her sister a soft wink, saying her farewell and hustling back to the table. She has to push through a throng of students to get to Galinda. 

“Hey,” she says, sliding into her seat a little breathless. She ignores the crowd of students who sighed upon her arrival. “Here’s your lunch.”

Galinda smiles and thanks her, but it’s tight at the corners, stiff and practiced. Her hands are tangled under the table, fingernails digging into her skin. Elphaba reaches for one, pulling them apart before Galinda can hurt herself. 

Then she takes into account the crowd around them. 

“Oh,” she says flatly, staring up into crystal blue eyes. “Almost didn’t see you there.”

Fiyero grins at her, something smirky and charming- or so he must think.  He seems delighted by her entry as well as her subsequent dip in mood in response to his presence.

“Hello again,” he greets. The ‘again’ seems to pull Galinda’s attention, her eyes flicking between them rapidly. 

Fiyero leans even closer, hip propped against the edge of the table. “I was just asking your lovely friend here if she had any plans tonight.” 

Elphaba feels her temper rise. Cornered and surrounded like this, Galinda will feel pressured to say yes even if she doesn’t want to. Elphaba opens her mouth to tell her friend she’d rather just stay in, herself, but Galinda is already shaking her head. 

“Nothing that I’m aware of,” she says, light and airy. Her head tilts, blonde curls falling over her shoulder. “Why? Did you have something in mind?” 

Is she…flirting with him? It almost sounds like it, if it weren’t for the utter dullness tone to her voice. Elphaba isn’t sure anyone else notices the complete lack of emotion or care behind Galinda’s words, nor the emptiness to her brown eyes. 

Elphaba doesn’t like this. She doesn’t like this one bit. 

“Well, actually--”

“I did have something in mind,” Fiyero says, cutting right over Elphaba’s attempt. He sidles closer, brushing a few other students out of the way. They’re hanging on his every word, entranced by his mere presence.

“It seems a good number of students are headed to a certain…Ozdust Ballroom tonight. And I was wondering--”

“We’re actually already going,” Elphaba blurts out. It pulls everyone’s attention, Galinda’s most of all. She gapes at Elphaba for a second before remembering herself and schooling her face. Elphaba hides her wince as the prince looks her way. “My sister invited us. To go together. As friends.”

Fiyero blinks. Galinda blinks. Elphaba grits her teeth and musters up a smile. “So I guess we’ll see you there.”

There’s a beat where it seems everyone is too shocked to say anything, then Fiyero tips his head back and laughs. It’s a full, rich, lovely laugh really, and Elphaba notes with interest that Galinda’s hand tightens painfully at the sound of it. 

Fiyero sticks around for just a few more seconds, bending down to give Galinda’s free hand a kiss and shooting them both a wink. “Save a dance for me, darling,” he says, giving a little wave as he walks away. 

Immediately, Galinda’s friends descend on her, exclaiming and tittering and going on about the prince. ShenShen shoots Elphaba a disgusted look, asking loudly “where were you earlier?” when Galinda stays quiet. 

“Sorry, I had…other things that needed handling. Did I miss anything?”

“Did you ever!” Pfannee cries. He collapses on his chair, all dramatics. “Girl, we had to keep the prince entertained for ages waiting for you! We kept telling him how perfect you’d be together, how much you deserve each other. Just- the perfect match, I’d say! I just knew he’d ask you out.”

Elphaba gets another dirty look thrown her way. “Well. I guess he tried.” 

Galinda’s smile wavers and Elphaba just scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“I’m not sure I’m really looking for a boyfriend right now,” Galinda says honestly, pushing past her friends’ shocked expressions. “But I’m excited to go to the Ozdust. I’ll have to think of something perfect to wear.”

Pfannee beams, shuffling closer. “Oh, you must let us come over and brainstorm! We’ll find you something to catch the prince’s eye for sure.”

None of Galinda’s friends seem to care that she explicitly said she didn’t want to date the prince, and it irks Elphaba beyond measure. For all that Galinda is so popular, no one but Elphaba seems to really see the girl. 

Elphaba keeps her thoughts to herself, though, watching carefully to see if Galinda starts getting too overwhelmed. She nudges the girl’s side a few times to remind her to actually eat some of her food instead of just playing with it, and Galinda shoots her a grateful smile when Elphaba makes some excuse about needing to get back to the dorm and tugs Galinda with her. 

They leave the blonde’s friends behind them, Elphaba leading the way back. “I’ve changed my mind,” Elphaba says aloud. “That was exhausting, and we haven’t even gotten to the dance yet.”

Galinda laughs, short but real. She leans into Elphaba briefly, knocking her temple on Elphaba’s shoulder. “Oh, it won’t be that bad,” she says. “I think we’ll have a good time. I mean- what’s more thoughtless than dancing?”

“It’s not really my kind of thing.”

Galinda laughs again. “You may be surprised,” she says. “I, for one, happen to believe you’d be a great dancer.”

Chapter Text

As evening falls over Shiz University, Elphaba finds herself sequestered to her side of the room as ShenShen and Pfannee tear through Galinda’s wardrobes to find the right dress for Galinda to wear to the Ozdust. Galinda lets herself get tugged around, a distant look in her eyes that says she’s accustomed to letting her thoughts drift while her friends use her as a living dress-up doll. 

Elphaba looks over when Pfannee gasps, holding up a short dress colored like a sunset with ruffled edges that would make Galinda look like she was wrapped in flower petals. It’s a stunning outfit, and ShenShen starts to fawn over it immediately. 

“This is definitely the one,” Pfannee says firmly. Galinda’s eyes flick to Elphaba over her friend’s shoulder, and she simply nods in response. 

“Try it on, try it on!” ShenShen urges, thrusting the dress Galinda’s way. Galinda’s gaze finds Elphaba’s again, something nervous in her expression, and Elphaba gets the hint and moves into the restroom to give the trio some privacy. 

Still- the walls are thinner than expected, and Elphaba can hear almost everything as though she’s still in the room. At some point, there are various exclamations of struggle then joy that denote Galinda likely got the dress on. Some conversation about Fiyero and the Ozdust. But then--

“Ew.”

“Glinda? What’s the reason?”

Elphaba finds herself leaning toward the door on instinct, trying to figure out what they could be talking about. 

“Oh,” comes Galinda’s fair voice. It fades in and out, less clear than the others. “My granny… --hat? I couldn’t just get rid of it.”

Her friends laugh, ugly and judging. ShenShen says something Elphaba can’t quite catch. “Why not--?”  

Galinda replies then, oddly muffled. The rest of the conversation has been so clear, and Elphaba finds herself pressing her ear to the door in frustration. What is she missing? What are they talking about? 

She should feel embarrassed about how childish and ridiculous she must look right now, but she doesn’t care. There’s something about Galinda that makes Elphaba want to know everything. 

Realizing that there is really no need to stay in here rather than just go out and see what’s up, Elphaba shoves the bathroom door open, exiting quickly to see what all the fuss is about. But all she sees is ShenShen and Pfannee standing over Galinda as she works on her hair in the mirror. The trio glances up at her, and the standing pair exchange looks and a not-so-subtle laugh. 

“Heyyy, Elphaba,” they say. They make quick excuses after that, something about having to go get ready themselves. 

“What was that all about?” Elphaba asks. She feels a bolt of irritation when Galinda waves her off. 

“Nothing. Just Pfannee and ShenShen being Pfannee and ShenShen. Have you picked a dress yet?”

“Yeah, I really only have one option.”

“Let me guess…it’s black?”

Elphaba rolls her eyes, letting the blonde change the subject. Maybe it really hadn’t been anything important- likely something about hair and makeup. “Yes, it is.”

The girls finish getting ready as the sun sets fully, darkness falling over a very excited Shiz. Galinda chatters on in a rambly sort of way that belies her nerves, her hands in constant motion as she searches for ways to distract herself. At one point, she pulls them both to the center of the room, twirling around and checking the way their dresses move and flow. 

“You look beautiful, Galinda,” Elphaba assures her. 

“Are you sure?”

Elphaba laughs, nodding easily. “Always.”

Galinda beams, rocking on her heels. A tiny pink blush crosses her cheeks- or maybe it’s just the lighting from her bedside lamp. “You- you’ll save me a dance, right Elphaba?”

“Uh, well, I told you- I’m not much of a dancer.”

But Galinda reaches out, grabbing her hands. “For me?” she asks, her soft voice crumbling Elphaba’s thin resolve.

She even lets the blonde twist her hair back, letting the rest of it fall around her shoulders, loose instead of pulled back. Her glasses get left on the vanity, and she swaps out her sturdy everyday boots for something a little fancier. Just before leaving, Galinda pulls Elphaba to the mirror, looking them both over with a critical eye. 

Elphaba had let her make a few adjustments to her outfit, and even she has to admit, the pair of them look pretty great standing there in the mirror together, Galinda’s colorful dress a stark contrast to Elphaba’s black one. Like night and day. Two halves of a whole. 

“It’s still…missing something,” Galinda says. She taps her chin thoughtfully before her eyes light up. “I know!” 

She rummages briefly in a trunk of hers before turning around with something strange and black in her hands. She grabs it, letting it sit in her outstretched palms, and Elphaba realizes it’s a hat. A…very tall hat. A very pointy hat. In fact- Elphaba’s never seen such a hat before in her life. 

“It’s custom-made,” Galinda says brightly. “One of a kind. And it totally clashes with my wardrobe, but it would look so good with yours!”

She’s not wrong. Galinda is rarely wrong about fashion things. Elphaba isn’t one to pay attention to what’s stylish, but she knows Galinda is an expert on it. The hat is strange and unique, but then- so is Elphaba. And as she lets Galinda plop it gently on top of her braids, she quite likes the image it creates. 

Someone tall. Someone bold. Someone brave enough to stand out, sharp enough to look intimidating, and stylish enough to seem cool. Warmth blooms in Elphaba’s chest. She likes it. She likes it a lot. Something about the hat just looks right.

Looks like Elphaba.

“Thanks,” she breathes. She grins at Galinda, adjusting the hat slightly. “I love it.”

There’s an almost-sad tilt to Galinda’s lips as she gazes at Elphaba, something lost and fond. But then she smiles, and it’s more genuine than any expression she’s made all day. “It suits you,” she says softly. 

***

Elphaba keeps the hat collapsed as they rush out to the docks, joining the throng of not-so-sneaky students as they try to sort themselves into groups. Elphaba looks around for Nessarose, worried about her getting safely into one of the boats with such untrustworthy guides. 

“Nessa!” she calls out, spotting her sister on the edge of the crowd. She’s eyeing the boats warily, so Elphaba gives Galinda’s hand a squeeze and nods toward her sister. 

“Do you mind if I--” she starts, but Galinda is nodding before she can finish, smiling easily. 

“Go,” she says, pushing Elphaba away. Pfannee and ShenShen are tugging her in the opposite direction anyway, so Elphaba weaves toward her sister, checking on her and telling her she loves her dress. 

She’s wearing their mother’s shoes; silver and dazzling. Elphaba has to look away. 

“You look beautiful, Nessa,” she says fondly. 

“As do you! I’ve never seen you wear that dress before.”

Elphaba laughs, glancing down at her outfit. “I let Galinda get her hands on it,” she admits. Galinda had been ecstatic, disappearing behind a screen in their room to work on it for a few minutes, adding a few minute details and tweaking things just slightly. 

It’s properly tailored to Elphaba now, laced up the back not dissimilar to the way Galinda’s is tied shut. The bodice sits more comfortably, and Galinda had convinced her to show off a bit more skin, leaving her neck and collarbones showing but her arms still covered. How she made such quick alterations is a mystery, but that’s Galinda for you.

There’s even some subtle pink embroidery woven into the fabric, invisible in the current shadows but glittering the same color as Galinda’s dress in the proper light. Elphaba had run her fingers over the patterns and tried to squash the ridiculous swell of fondness that the idea of matching Galinda had given her. 

“Just a little personal touch,” Galinda had said. She’d winked softly. “All good designers have a signature.”

Then she’d tapped the four little pink circles hidden under one of the black ruffles, one of them curling cleverly into a ‘G.’

“Circles?” Elphaba had questioned. It didn’t seem very Galinda to her. 

But the blonde had smiled, secretive and soft. “Bubbles,” she’d corrected. 

“Fabala,” Nessa’s voice breaks through her thoughts. She blinks, taking in her sister’s knowing grin. “Always lost in your thoughts. Come on- they’re loading the boats.”

What? Elphaba looks around quickly, realizing that the throng of students has thinned. Where’s Galinda? 

She keeps scanning the docks, squinting into the shadows and cursing Galinda for convincing her not to wear her glasses tonight. Just because she really only needs them for reading doesn’t mean it’s easy to see in these dark shadows. 

There. Elphaba is about to call out to Galinda, convince her to come join her and Nessa, but she pauses when she takes in the scene. The prince is there. Fiyero. He’s leaning close, tucking a small pink flower behind Galinda’s ear, the girl ducking her head shyly and glancing up through her lashes. 

Flirting, most likely. Because that’s what pretty, popular girls do when there’s a prince around. Behind Galinda, Pfannee and ShenShen are nearly vibrating with glee. Elphaba, on the other hand, feels an ugly storm cloud of negativity invade her thoughts and sit like a rock in her stomach. 

She doesn’t know why she’s so put off by the idea of Galinda with Fiyero. Just- that she doesn’t like it. At all. 

Nessarose rolls up beside her, grabbing at her hand. She eyes the scene as well, then smiles up at her sister. “Come on,” she beckons, tipping her head to the boat. “Let’s go.”

***

Elphaba ends up on a different boat from Galinda, the blonde’s head swiveling around to catch sight of her. She waves at Galinda, making sure she sees that Elphaba is fine, just sticking with Nessa, and then the boats depart, slowly making their way through the water. 

Galinda’s boat ends up docking first, and Elphaba takes her time making sure Nessarose exits safely. They end up being the last few stragglers to enter, and Elphaba encourages Nessa to go first, urging her to go dance with her friends. 

“Don’t drink anything,” she makes sure to instruct. Her little sister rolls her eyes at that but squeezes Elphaba’s hand gratefully and makes her way into the ballroom. 

Elphaba gives herself a bit of alone time in the tunnel to just- breathe. She replays the scene by the docks, the feeling that had swept over her when she had seen Fiyero with Galinda. She needs to get a handle on this. Elphaba isn’t Galinda’s only friend. As clingy and codependent as the younger girl comes across, she’s extremely popular, and Elphaba can’t always have 100% of her attention. 

That includes…boys. She supposes. 

There’s music pounding through the tunnel, growing stronger the closer Elphaba gets to the ballroom. She can hear laughter and cheers, the sounds of young adults celebrating their first proper night out. Will she even be able to find Galinda in the crowd? 

Will Galinda even care that Elphaba is there if she’s having fun with her friends? If she’s dancing with a prince? 

She hadn’t seemed interested earlier, at lunch, but maybe her friends had gotten in her head. The strange, nervous energy from before hadn’t seemed apparent by the docks. 

Elphaba sighs, shaking her head at her own lingering insecurities. She had thought she was past this point by now. Her fingers fidget with the brim of the hat in her hands. A gift- from Galinda. Just like the details on her dress. Just like the hair clip holding back her braids. 

As tired as Galinda still was, she was looking forward to this night. She was so excited to help Elphaba get ready, talking about how much fun they would have. And it had been Elphaba who said they would be here in the first place. She can’t just back out now.

Elphaba takes a deep breath, pops the hat back out to its full size, and places it firmly on her head. 

Time to be brave.

The feeling of the hat calms her, brings a smile to her lips. This is Galinda’s hat, after all. Galinda- who is her…friend. Someone Elphaba cares a whole lot about. Someone she would hate to disappoint or let down.

Straightening her spine, Elphaba lifts her chin and marches into the ballroom. Immediately, she’s overcome by the sensations. The music is ten times louder, pounding out from the live band in the corner. An Animal band, she notices absently. 

There are lights strobing over the dance floor, there are drinks flowing from a bar in the corner, there are shadows clinging to the edges as the river flows overhead. It’s a wondrous scene, like something out of a storybook. A hero’s entrance, perhaps. 

Except--

The first few people to spot her aren’t from Shiz. They’re just normal patrons, skittering away with a gasp. She stands at the top of the stairs as everyone turns to look, even the music fading to a halt as the lights show off her green skin and--

Her hat. Her pointy, black, one-of-a-kind, gifted to her by Galinda hat. 

Which everyone is laughing at. 

“That hat is disgustifying,” a woman titters, laughing behind a gloved palm. The awkward silence left by the band stopping makes the whispers echo through the ballroom, the laughter and sneering growing. 

Before her, she can see ShenShen and Pfannee cackling in delight, nudging each other and pointing like they’ve seen some devious plan come to fruition perfectly. And beside them…is Galinda. 

Galinda, who is staring at her. Galinda, who looks beautiful. Galinda, who has a prince standing right by her shoulder. 

Galinda, who…set her up. 

All the air leaves Elphaba’s lungs. Her body goes freezing cold. Not hot with anger- cold. Ice takes root in her stomach and flows through her veins, freezing her from the inside out. Hurt, betrayal, disappointment. She feels so stupid. 

This must be what her friends were talking about when Elphaba was in the bathroom. They had planned this. To humiliate Elphaba. And Galinda had agreed. Galinda had given her the hat. Galinda had assured her over and over that they would have fun tonight. 

And the whole time…she had known this would happen. 

Something burns in Elphaba’s chest, a sensation like molten glass, hardening as the ice takes hold and turning into a thousand sharp edges that stab at her heart. Her previous barriers are already gone, leaving the organ open and vulnerable, easily pierced and easily bled. She feels it breaking, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. 

The hurt is all-consuming; it’s overwhelming. It crashes through Elphaba, leaving her unable to breathe or think or move. She’s frozen at the top of the steps, a laughing stock in front of the whole school. Even Nessarose is staring at her with wide, sad eyes. 

Elphaba is such a fool. 

But-- then--

“Elphaba!” a voice calls, whipping across the room. Galinda steps forward, heels clacking against the ground. The crowd goes silent as she steps into the light, drawing their attention like a magnet. 

Galinda’s head tilts up to meet Elphaba’s eyes. She keeps moving, climbing the steps until she’s standing right below Elphaba, tinier than ever. But her voice carries, brave and bold.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Galinda says, reaching out to grasp Elphaba’s hand. “I was waiting for you. You look wonderful.” 

The last statement rings through the room, ceasing the last few laughs as the whispers shift into confused murmurs. What is Galinda doing? Everyone seems to ask. What is she up to?

Is this…just another way to humiliate her? 

Elphaba can barely think over the roar in her ears. She stares at Galinda, broken and lost. Begging for it not to be true. 

Galinda doesn’t stop moving, though, tugging on Elphaba’s hand to encourage her frozen feet to move. She pulls Elphaba down the steps, into the circle that has formed on the dance floor. Galinda smiles at her, but this close up, Elphaba can see the nerves. The hidden panic. The guilt.

Why? Elphaba wants to ask. Why would you do this? After all this time? Why? 

“Just- trust me,” Galinda whispers. She’s breathing even faster than Elphaba, her chest shaking as her eyes flick to the side. “Please.”

And, despite all the revelations and doubts and heartbreak, Elphaba is helpless to do anything but nod. Because…she does trust Galinda. That’s why it hurt so bad. 

“I love your hat,” Galinda says loudly. “It looks so good on you.”

The crowd of dancers is clearly just as confused as Elphaba is. The band still hasn’t resumed playing, and Elphaba’s emotions are all over the place, tangling and overlapping and twisting into an incoherent mess. There’s a hush that’s fallen over the ballroom, everyone holding their breath, waiting to see what happens next. 

Galinda is trembling, but her eyes are steely and determined. Under the glow of the dance floor lights, her skin looks nearly as green as Elphaba’s. “Dance with me,” Galinda whispers, her smile small but encouraging. Elphaba can’t fathom the idea of it at first, but--

Elphaba’s gaze flits over the shocked and befuddled expressions around her. People whose noses were so quick to wrinkle into sneers. People whose opinions were so easy to see changed. People who…don’t matter. In the end, Elphaba doesn’t care about any of them. 

She cares about Galinda.

Elphaba takes a breath. She tries to settle the storm in her chest. She lets go of Galinda’s hand and backs up a few steps, leaving the girl quivering in her wake. Galinda’s friends are whisper-yelling, asking what she’s doing. Telling her to stop. 

But Galinda stands there, vulnerable under the lights, and she’s…she’s never looked more beautiful.

Elphaba has been bullied and picked on and sneered at all her life. She’s been pushed and shoved and thrown down. She’s been yelled and screamed and laughed at. Elphaba has never ever had someone stand up to her, not her father, not her sister, not anyone. 

Until Galinda. 

Galinda, who had taken her hands on their very first day and told Elphaba she wanted to be her friend. Galinda, who fought against every student who dared to look at Elphaba the wrong way. Galinda, who has more ghosts and secrets and fears in her closet than anyone Elphaba has ever met…but who is standing here, right now, with more braverism than Elphaba has ever seen. 

Morrible’s warning comes to her all of a sudden. In my experience, a leopard cannot change its spots. 

Maybe she’s right. But maybe…maybe Galinda’s spots have been true all along. 

You could hear a pin drop in the ballroom. Elphaba can feel her heart pound, soft and aching and bleeding around those broken shards with every new pulse. Elphaba might be a fool, but she’s already been laughed at. What more does she have to lose? 

Her hands come up, her arms start to move, her feet slide across the floor. Slowly, cautiously, and with more nerves and hope tangled in her throat than should be possible for a person to breathe around, Elphaba starts to dance. 

The crowd gasps, leaning away, but Elphaba only cares about one person. And that person doesn’t so much as flinch. Instead- she steps forward. She raises her hands. She lets her feet slide across the floor. 

Slowly, beat by beat, Galinda starts to dance. A perfect mirror. A beautiful reflection. Two souls, winding through the ballroom, step in step. For just a minute, the moment is all theirs. No one else in the room exists. The ice in Elphaba’s veins starts to thaw, her smile starts to grow, and then around them- the crowd begins to move. 

Dancing. Everyone is dancing. No one is laughing at her. No one is sneering. The band picks up in the background, music rising as everyone joins in. Colors blur around her, a haze of rhinestones and ruffles as glee starts to burst through every particle of Elphaba’s body. 

It builds and it builds, mixing with the laughter and movement of the people around them. Galinda shoots her a smile, dimpled and gorgeous. Somewhere in her heart, a shimmering pink thread starts to stitch the wounds back together, and Elphaba feels tears sting the backs of her eyes. 

It is, perhaps, the greatest moment of her life. 

Not because it’s the first time she’s felt like part of the crowd. But because it’s the first time she’s felt brave enough to not care to stand out. 

There’s a crescendo of sound, of swell, of pure, unadulterated joy, and Elphaba surges forward to throw her arms around Galinda’s shoulders. All she sees is pink and blonde. All she smells is sweet perfume. All she hears is the rumble of delight that grows with every sweeping note of music. 

Galinda gasps into her shoulder, her lips tickling the bare skin of Elphaba’s neck, her body trembling in Elphaba’s hold. “I’m sorry,” Galinda whispers, over and over. “You look beautiful, Elphaba, you really, truly do. I’m sorry.”

But Elphaba just shakes her head, absolutely overcome and unable to say a word. I do trust you, Elphaba wants to say. I shouldn’t have doubted you. 

You’re my friend. 

I care about you. 

I think I’m in love. 

That last one makes her brain screech to a halt, and she tears backward out of Galinda’s arms, gaping at her in the strobing lights. Galinda stares back, worry pinching her brows. 

“Elphaba?” she asks. Around them, students circle and jump and spin, not unlike the gymnastics of Elphaba’s thoughts. 

No, she thinks. It can’t be. 

But--

Galinda is glowing, golden and pink and gorgeous, and Elphaba has never felt so many emotions at one time in her entire life, and she’s been in a tailspin ever since she entered the ballroom, and she practically has whiplash from the past several minutes, and she--

She--

“Oh,” Elphaba breathes out. 

Galinda blinks at her, head tilting in a way that sends her blonde curls falling over one shoulder, her eyelids sparkling with every dip of her lashes. 

Stunning.

Oh. 

“Elphaba?” Galinda asks again. She grabs Elphaba’s hand, glossy lips tipping into a frown. Elphaba has to shake herself, trying to get her mind in proper order enough to send the girl a smile. 

“Sorry,” she croaks out. “Just- overwhelmed.”

Galinda’s eyes soften, her thumb running over Elphaba’s knuckles. She leans back, jerking her chin toward the entrance. “Let’s get out of here,” she says, and Elphaba lets her lead her away, her brain combusting as she struggles to stay coherent. 

I think I’m in love. 

With you. 

Galinda. 

I think I’m in love with you. 

The tunnel makes her vision hazy; the cool breeze outside makes her shiver. Galinda leans into her, a warmth at her side, and Elphaba clings to her on instinct, wrapping her back up in her arms and breathing in her familiar scent. There’s something about holding Galinda that makes it feel like two puzzle pieces slotting into place. 

Just right. 

“Elphaba? Are you okay?”

Elphaba nods, still speechless. She nods again and again and again. She buries her nose in Galinda’s soft locks, and she pretends she can’t feel the way they’re both shaking. Galinda clings back just as hard. 

“Thank you,” Elphaba whispers, and she hopes Galinda understands just how much she’s trying to say. 

There’s a rough inhale, a slight sniffle. Galinda doesn’t say ‘you’re welcome.’ She just leans into Elphaba harder, a salty dampness on Elphaba’s collarbones letting her know what the blonde is hiding. 

“You deserve the world, Elphaba Thropp,” Galinda says. She shivers, voice dropping even fainter. “And I’m going to make sure you get it.”

Chapter Text

Elphaba feels like her soul is on fire. She’s buzzing with adrenaline, still floating in a haze of overwhelming emotions and revelations. Galinda is quieter, but her feet kick under the bench as the boat drifts through the water, and she bounces around their room as they change out of their Ozdust dresses. 

Elphaba struggles a little with that one. She doesn’t know how Galinda always manages to get out of her laced up dresses all by herself all the time.  Though she supposes Galinda must be used to it by this point in her life, whereas Elphaba has done her very best to avoid situations that call for anything even resembling a corset. 

“Hey, Galinda?” she calls out, huffing frustratedly. “Can you help me? I don’t know how you did this.”

Galinda falters for only a half-second before she breezes over, pink peignoir drifting behind her. She’s changed already but still has to undo her hair and makeup. “Sure,” she responds easily. Then she actually sees the mess. 

“What in Oz did you do?” she exclaims, fingertips brushing over Elphaba’s shoulder blades in a way that makes her shiver. Goosebumps pop up on her bare skin, and Elphaba gulps hard when she realizes she essentially just asked Galinda to undress her. 

An hour in and her newest revelation about the girl she shares a room with is already making her head swim. 

“Uhh, I was just trying to get it undone.”

“You’ve gone and tangled the whole thing!”

“I know,” Elphaba laments, wincing as her attempt at a sigh just reminds her how tightly encased her ribs currently are. “I should’ve just let you undo them from the start.”

She had had a feeling she’d made a knot or two in her struggles. Galinda is mumbling something under her breath, likely the same curses Elphaba was thinking moments ago when it was her fingers trying to undo the knots. 

Elphaba holds her breath for a moment, sucking in as hard as she can to try and give Galinda some leeway to work her fingers in. Miraculously, enough, Galinda’s efforts seem to be working. Within seconds, the knots start to unravel, and Elphaba is able to take in a deep, relieved breath of air. 

“Oh, thank Oz,” she breathes, gasping as she feels all the ties loosen at once, the whole bodice nearly falling off. She grabs it before it can tumble to the floor, holding it to her chest as her cheeks darken in a fierce flush. 

Galinda doesn’t seem to notice the almost-slip. She just taps Elphaba on the shoulder with an “all good!” and swirls past her to finish pulling her hairclips out. 

Elphaba laughs in startled relief, a little breathless and overheated. She shuffles until she’s behind her wardrobe door, slipping out of the dress so she can pull her nightgown on. 

“I don’t know how you manage to do that by yourself all the time,” Elphaba says, coming back into view and smiling at Galinda through her vanity mirror.  

Galinda just shrugs and grins. “Practice. Years and years of practice.”

Elphaba laughs again, truer and brighter. Galinda is always saying things like that. Just the other day, she’d told Elphaba that it had taken her a decade to perfect her eyeliner skills. Elphaba figured the girl was just exaggerating, but if there was anyone in Oz who she’d believe was actually wearing eyeliner at nine years old, it would be Galinda Upland. 

Galinda spins around, her hair falling loose around her shoulders as she looks up at Elphaba. “I couldn’t remotely sleep,” she confesses, delicate fingernails tapping against the back of her chair. 

“Neither can I.”

There’s a beat where a strange emotion flits across Galinda’s eyes. Then--

“Oh, I know!” she exclaims. She hops from her chair, grabbing Elphaba’s hands and tugging her until they’re both sitting on the bed, facing each other. “Let’s tell each other a secret. Something you’ve never told anyone before.”

Elphaba stutters on a laugh. “W-what?” she asks, a bit bewildered. 

Galinda blushes, her cheeks slightly pink. “I-I want to get to know you better. That’s all.” She takes a deep breath, eyes falling from Elphaba’s face to their joined hands, her fingers fidgeting even when clasped together. “You’re my best friend, Elphaba.”

Something joyous and warm clashes with something stormy and wanting, a tangled mix of conflicting feelings that momentarily steals Elphaba’s breath. On the one hand, she’s never been someone’s best friend before. She’s never even been someone’s friend. 

On the other, however, she wants so much more. She wants Galinda in ways she’s only read about in fairytales, in stories of love and romance and happy endings. She wants to take Galinda’s hand and never let go- to tug her off into the setting sun and spend the rest of her life listening to her laugh and seeing her smile. 

No book could’ve possibly made her understand what it really feels like to fall so hard in love. 

“You’re my best friend, too, Galinda,” Elphaba manages to squeeze out, her throat closing in on itself as she chokes down everything else she wants to say. 

It’s truly incredible, how in such a short period of time, Galinda has become the most important person in her life. Someone she thought she’d be at odds with at first. Someone who had no reason to like her. 

Someone whose soft little smile lights the whole room when she aims it Elphaba’s way. 

Elphaba sighs internally, trying to think of a secret she could possibly tell. A part of her isn’t so sure about this, but another part of her almost wants to tell Galinda everything. Wants to show Galinda all of who she is. 

Wants to see if she still likes Elphaba when she learns. 

Mustering up her courage, Elphaba lets her gaze fall somewhere just past Galinda’s shoulder, almost but not quite meeting her eyes. “My father hates me,” she whispers slowly. She swallows hard in the beat that follows. “That’s not the secret, though. The secret is that…he has a good reason.”

I need to tell you, she thinks. Because I think I may love you. And you deserve to know who I am. 

“It’s my fault, see. That my sister is the way she is.”

Galinda is already shaking her head, so Elphaba blusters forward, not giving her a chance to interrupt. She needs to get this off her chest- this truth she’s lived with all her life. It’s not just her green skin that makes her a monster. 

“When my mother was carrying Nessa, my father began to worry that she might come out…green. He was so worried that he made my mother drink milkflowers day and night. Only, the milkflowers made Nessa come too soon and- and her little legs, they-” Elphaba breaks off, swallowing hard. “And my mother, well, she never woke up. None of which would’ve ever happened if it wasn’t for me.”

She takes a breath, finally meeting Galinda’s gaze. “So,” she says softly. “It’s my fault.”

“No.” The denial comes swiftly, sternly. “No, Elphaba, that was not your fault. It could never have been.”

“If it wasn’t for me--”

Galinda leans forward, squeezing hard on Elphaba’s hands and tugging lightly to break her off. “Your father made that decision, Elphaba. He made your mother take those milkflowers and that is what affected her pregnancy. It was not you. It was never you.”

She’s staring at Elphaba, genuine and determined and honest. She means it. Elphaba feels her heart skip ten beats in her chest, rattling erratically as she fights to keep her composure. No one has ever--

Galinda is so close that Elphaba could stick her tongue out and practically taste her sweet perfume. Her eyes are lit by the lamplight, little flecks of gold shimmering in those chocolate depths like tiny stars. Beautiful. Magical. 

Unattainable. 

“Y-you think it’s my father’s fault?” Elphaba’s voice comes out strained and weak. No one has ever--

Galinda nods sharply. Just once. “I do. He made a terrible decision. Pushed by fear, no doubt. But terrible nonetheless. He had no right and no reason.” Galinda’s eyes soften. Her voice lowers. “There’s nothing wrong with being green.”

Galinda sits back a little, giving Elphaba a bit of breathing room as she tries to remind her lungs how to work. Her blonde hair brushes across the pink puffs on her shoulders as she tips her head and smiles crookedly. Genuinely. 

“That may be your secret, Elphaba, but that doesn’t make it true.”

Morning sunlight starts to sweep across the dorm, alighting upon Galinda’s pale hair and turning it into a halo of gold, an angel in pink sitting right in front of her. If Elphaba hadn’t already known she was in love, she thinks she’d about keel over right then and there. 

Human hearts weren’t possibly made to handle seeing such beauty. 

Galinda’s head turns, breaking her piercing eye contact and allowing Elphaba to risk a shaky inhale. 

“Look,” the blonde announces. She’s turned to watch the rising sun filter in through the windows. Her smile stretched in tandem with the room growing warmer, Elphaba’s heart swelling and shoving against her ribs, too full of emotions for her body to handle. 

“It’s tomorrow.” Elphaba mouths the words in tandem with Galinda saying them, her insides a gooey mess as Galinda beams at her in delight. 

Day one of being in love with Galinda Upland. Elphaba wonders how many days she’ll last before her heart gives out entirely. 

***

The girls don’t have school today, the start of the weekend meaning they could just go to bed and get some actual rest. But neither of them seems to desire that, Galinda hopping up with a jittery sort of energy that says she won’t be sleeping any time soon. 

Elphaba follows along, letting Galinda tug her around. “I know!” the blonde says brightly. “How about a makeover?”

“A makeover?” Elphaba blinks, glancing over at the mirror. 

“Not of you, Elphaba,” Galinda says, swinging her around so they’re both facing their reflections. Galinda reaches up to poke one of Elphaba’s cheeks. “Nope. You’re perfect. I meant your wardrobe.”

You’re perfect. The words slide off Galinda’s tongue so easily, like she doesn’t even know how they hit Elphaba like a hammer to the stomach. In a good way. But still. 

“Now, I don’t mind lending you things or doing some quick tailoring, but you really should have your own set of proper clothes.”

Elphaba coughs, recatching her breath. “Uh- proper?”

“Yes! I mean, your dress tonight was great, I loved it, but you can’t just have one party dress. And really- we should work on expanding your color palette. You can’t only wear black.”

“Well, black works best with my skin tone.”

Galinda blows out a soft raspberry, rolling her eyes. “Black isn’t the only color that works,” she declares. She reaches out, grabbing the pink flower off her vanity and giving it a twirl, the petals dancing as she spins around and smiles at Elphaba, reaching up to tuck the flower behind her ear just like Fiyero did to her earlier. 

“Pink goes good with green, too!”

Elphaba can feel the brush of Galinda’s fingers on the side of her face, can see the pop of color against her dark hair in the mirror. “Goes well with green,” she corrects on autopilot. 

Galinda giggles, her eyes going a bit hazy and soft. “It so does,” she whispers. 

She stares at Elphaba for a moment, gaze distant, before she seems to shake herself back into focus. “See? Beautiful,” she says, turning around and throwing open one of her wardrobes. 

“But we can’t do accessories until we have outfits, so we need to figure out some options! Now- do you have a neckline preference?” Her voice gets muffled as she sticks her head deep in her trunks and wardrobes, pushing clothes around and humming in dissatisfaction. “Hm, these won’t do, no no no.”

Galinda spins around, eyes lighting up. “I know! We can go shopping!” 

“Shopping?”

“Yes, yes- we’ll go into the city and get something new! Something just for you.” Galinda grins, rocking from foot to foot. There is something just slightly manic about her, like a kid who is up past their bedtime with energy that stems from tiredness. 

“Um, well, I really appreciate it, Galinda, but I don’t really see what’s wrong with my current wardrobe.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Galinda says slowly, in a way that makes it clear she does, in fact, think there’s something wrong with it. “It just could be better. And bigger. Much much bigger.”  

“I don’t really go enough places to need more clothes, though. I mostly wear a uniform, remember?” 

“But Elphaba, what about parties? What about brunches? What about tea times and soirees and balls?” 

“I realllly don’t think I’m getting invited to any soirees or balls…”

“Nonsense, we have a packed schedule of events this month- you’ll need to look your best at all of them!”

“I thought you were going to take a break this month?” Elphaba lifts a pointed eyebrow. She knows Galinda is excited right now, but she can’t fully hide the fact that she’s just pulled an all-nighter while already sleep-deprived and exhausted. Elphaba will have to make sure she gets a proper nap in this afternoon. 

“Elphabaaa, come on. I won’t do too much, I promise.” 

Elphaba very much doesn’t believe her. 

“Just one shopping trip? Pleaseee?” 

Elphaba sighs, unable to look away fast enough before Galinda turns those big bambi eyes on her, bottom lip stuck out in a pout. Who could possibly resist that? 

“Fine,” she says flatly, squashing the fond grin that tugs at her lips when Galinda squeals softly in success. 

“Yay! Oh, we’ll have to get you a few of everything. I mean really, I don’t know how you’ve survived--”

Elphaba rolls her eyes, letting Galinda continue to ramble on and pretending it doesn’t make her endlessly fond and delightfully happy to see her so excited and engaged. A far cry from just twenty-four hours ago when she’d been collapsed on the ground, sobbing and faint. 

A part of her worries it isn’t genuine. A part of her knows it won’t last. But- there was something magical about last night. Something that had nothing to do with the power in Elphaba’s veins and everything to do with the brilliant blonde across from her. 

Maybe Galinda had felt it too. 

***

The rest of the morning passes easily, their energy dipping as the last of the night’s headrush passes out of their system. The girls settle down and get dressed into more casual day clothes- foregoing sleep just yet. Elphaba manages to convince Galinda that shopping can be postponed until tomorrow, and that instead Galinda should join her for breakfast and then a much-needed nap.

Galinda frowns at that.  “I don’t normally eat breakfast on the weekends,” she complains. 

“Yes, and it’s a terribly unhealthy habit that you really need to stop doing.” 

Galinda huffs, crossing her arms. “It’s not like I don’t still eat, Elphaba, I just usually have tea time or brunch or something.”

Elphaba frowns, considering that for a moment. “Do you have anything scheduled for today?” she asks. Partly curious and partly to make her point. 

“Nope! I made sure to keep this morning clear. You know, since we’d be out all night at the Ozdust.”

“But you didn’t know about the dance until yesterday afternoon. Don’t you usually make plans weeks in advance?”

Galinda blinks, startled. But then she just waves a hand in the air, laughing shortly. “Please. You think any of the girls expected to be up this morning after they got the invite? They’re probably still stuck in bed and hungover.”

That doesn’t really answer Elphaba’s question, but she supposes there could’ve been time for Galinda to spread the word to her friends that their plans for today were postponed in light of the dance. Regardless:

“Well, then, that means you don’t have any brunches to get to, and you need to eat breakfast. Come along.”

“But Elphabaaa--”

“Nope, come along. Maybe we’ll see that prince of yours in the dining hall.”  

Elphaba reaches out and grabs Galinda’s wrist, Galinda quieting in response to the mention of Fiyero. Elphaba wonders what she’s thinking about- wonders how things went before Elphaba showed up in the ballroom last night. 

There are very few students in the dining hall this early. Even the ones who didn’t go out last night are enjoying sleeping in on the first morning of the weekend. Elphaba’s gotten used to grabbing two food trays, picking for the both of them while Galinda waits at the table, usually chatting with her friends. Today, Galinda clings to her arm while they walk and stays with Elphaba as she heads to the food stations. 

Elphaba has to nudge her over a bit so she can have both hands free, but Galinda just switches to holding onto the back of Elphaba’s shirt instead, unwilling to be separated. She seems oddly subdued now that they’re out and about, and Elphaba wonders if the exhaustion is finally kicking in after their late night and energetic morning. 

“Here,” Elphaba says softly, pushing the tray to Galinda as they sit down. Galinda smiles at her and picks up her fork, but she ends up just twirling it around, slumping into Elphaba further and further until she’s got her head resting on Elphaba’s shoulder and appears to be halfway to sleep. 

“Galinda, hey,” Elphaba prods. She keeps her voice low, jostling Galinda with her arm slightly. “Don’t fall asleep yet. You still need to eat something.”

“Not hungry,” Galinda mumbles. Her eyes aren’t closed, but they are hooded, her gaze a bit distant as she stares at her twiddling fork. The light glints off the silver metal in a mesmerizing flicker over and over and over again as it spins. 

“I know, but you still need to. Just a few bites at least, please?”

Elphaba knows she’s being a bit of a mother hen, but she can’t help it. She’s been her sister’s caretaker for years, and while Nessa eventually outgrew her tolerance for Elphaba’s nagging, Elphaba has always been a natural worrier. She knows Galinda has been taking her clothes in recently, meaning she’d lost considerable weight in just the couple of months since school started. 

Galinda sighs, glancing up to see Elphaba’s expression before she indulges in a few bites. Her nose scrunches up in distaste even though she liked the tofu scramble just a couple of weeks ago. Elphaba pesters her into eating at least half the bowl, but she lets up when Galinda starts to look legitimately queasy, her hands shaking as she forces herself to swallow.

“Sorry,” Galinda whispers, clearly picking up on Elphaba’s disappointment. “I-I don’t really do big meals.”

Elphaba glances at the bowl. She’d gotten the smallest portion available. “It’s okay,” she says, even though a part of her knows it’s not. “We can do smaller meals throughout the day if you’d prefer.”

It’s a bit pointed, but she thinks Galinda gets the hint that just not eating isn’t an option anymore. Elphaba doesn’t want to bring too much attention to the girl’s body or weight, but Galinda is starting to get concerningly thin. Elphaba won’t let herself just sit here and watch her waste away. 

Galinda gets up slowly when prodded, blinking and standing there waiting as Elphaba dumps their trays in the back. Instead of heading straight to the dorms, however, Galinda leads them outside, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath of fresh air. 

Autumn will be upon them soon, the seasons changing with a flourish of bright colors and cooler breezes. It’s Elphaba’s favorite, a time of sweaters and harvests and hot tea on cold mornings. They walk the spiralling garden paths slowly, simply appreciating the scenery and the gentleness of nature after a somewhat hectic and heavy past twenty-four hours. 

As they pass under an arched trellis, Galinda hops on her toes in an effort to brush her fingers against a low-hanging vine, one of the few still clinging to summery-green life. The motion makes her stumble, clumsy on her heels, until Elphaba reaches out to steady her.

Elphaba rolls her eyes fondly, glad Galinda at least has the energy to mess around. “Silly,” she murmurs, ducking her head to blow gently across Galinda’s ear, making her squeal and giggle. 

Galinda pulls out of her hold with a shake of her head, a little pink blush now staining her cheeks. She looks adorable, and Elphaba has to squeeze her hands into fists to keep from reaching out and dragging her back into Elphaba’s arms, wrapping her close and tucking her away deep in the pocket of Elphaba’s heart. 

She wonders what it would feel like to have Galinda in her heart. Warm, Elphaba thinks. It must be- that’s what Elphaba feels in her chest whenever Galinda smiles. Warm like sunshine. Like summer. Like hugs. The type of warmth that can melt ancient frost, shaking the cold from weary old bones that have spent a lifetime expecting nothing but ice. 

Eventually, the pair ends up somewhere in the middle of the gardens, hedges all around them as Galinda leans into Elphaba’s side with a hum. The breeze blows her wheaten curls across her shoulders, and she shivers, huddling closer. 

“Are you sleepy yet?” Elphaba questions, looping an arm around the girl and rubbing her upper arm. She knows better than to simply ask if Galinda is tired. Galinda is always tired. 

“Almost. I could go for a nap.” 

Pleased, Elphaba turns to start making their way before a hand latches on and pulls her to a halt. She glances back, curious, to see Galinda looking nervous, rocking slightly and glancing away. 

“Can we stay here? Just for a minute longer?”

Elphaba blinks, curious, but nods easily. “Sure.”

Galinda lifts a hand to run her fingers down the soft edges of the nearby leaves, distracting herself as she shuffles from foot to foot. “Hey, Elphaba?” she eventually says. “I just…I wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize? What for?”

“For last night.”

Oh. Elphaba swallows, chest tightening. Last night had been wonderful, it really had, but…she hadn’t forgotten that the only reason Galinda needed to make such a big gesture was because she’d given Elphaba the hat in the first place. And in doing so--

“Did you know?” Elphaba asks. “Did you know they’d all laugh at me?”

Galinda still can’t meet her eyes. “I-- Yes. I did. Or at least, I had my suspicions.” 

“Then why? I thought we were friends.”

Galinda finally looks up, eyes wide. “We are friends. Best friends. Elphaba- you, you mean more to me than anyone.”

Oh. That feels…

Elphaba shakes herself. “I don’t understand.”

Galinda grabs at the twig under her hand, leaves bending and crushing beneath her fidgety fingers. “ShenShen and Pfannee suggested I give it to you. And Elphaba, I think the hat does suit you. I do. It just…isn’t super fashionable. Not right now, at least, and so people thought it looked funny, which is why- you know.”  

“But then--”

“I didn’t want to at first! But, I-I did want you to have it. And I think some naive, stupid part of me hoped that people would accept it, maybe as a new trend or something, I don’t know. People are friendly this time! And I just- I wanted both. I wanted you to have it, but I didn’t want you to feel bad about it, but I-I wasn’t sure-- And then the Ozdust, and the dance, and it happening again, and I loved it, but I didn’t want you to feel hurt, and you did, and I felt so guilty because-- But I couldn’t just-- Cause-- And it--”

“Okay, okay, hey,” Elphaba steps in, tugging Galinda’s hands from the hedge and pulling her loosely into her arms. “Breathe, Galinda.”

Elphaba hates when Galinda gets like this. When her eyes get all wild and panicked and she starts gasping for air like her lungs have forgotten how to work. Galinda closes her eyes, falling into Elphaba’s embrace and leaning her forehead against the taller girl’s shoulder. With her hands around Galinda’s wrists, Elphaba can feel her pulse absolutely racing. 

“Deep breaths, Galinda. In your nose and out your mouth.” Elphaba takes several deep breaths of her own in example, because she really really does not want Galinda passing out again. 

“I- II-I’m sor--”

“Stop trying to apologize and breathe,” Elphaba instructs. She runs her fingers through Galinda’s loose hair, tugging gently to give her some sort of sensation to focus on that isn’t her lack of air. “I forgive you, you know. I forgave you the moment we started dancing. I- you’re important to me, too, Galinda.”

More than you could ever know. 

Galinda seems to shudder against her, pressing harder against Elphaba’s body. They breathe in tandem for several minutes until Galinda calms down, sniffling and muttering to herself by the end. When she finally pulls back, her eyes are red-rimmed and her cheeks are tear-stained. 

Rarely does Elphaba get to see Galinda so disarmed. She’s so used to seeing her all dolled up and covered in flawless makeup that hides the weight she seems to carry on her shoulders. She looks much more human like this. Much younger and softer and more vulnerable. 

Not a single increment less beautiful, though. Standing here in the late morning sun with her eyes swollen and her lips downturned, she’s still the most gorgeous person Elphaba’s ever seen. 

“Better?” Elphaba asks, reaching out with a thumb to swipe across Galinda’s fair cheeks. They darken under her finger, bashful and rosy as Galinda nods. 

“ Now I’m tired,” Galinda mumbles, swaying on her feet and rubbing at her temples.  

“Do you want a hug?” Elphaba offers. It comes a bit out of nowhere, and Elphaba herself blinks, startled, when the words leave her mouth. She’s never been one for excessive physical contact- or at least, she didn’t think she was until she met Galinda. 

Galinda’s whole face brightens, and she nods happily before throwing her arms around Elphaba in a proper hug, not just Elphaba holding her up as she falls apart. This time, Galinda holds Elphaba back, her thin arms deceptively strong and secure, making Elphaba melt right into them. 

She was right. Galinda is warmth. 

It bursts from Elphaba’s chest, rushing through her veins and pushing against her skin, bright and powerful. It feels like it’s being drawn out of her, rising to meet a different type of heat that spreads from every point of contact that Galinda has against her. 

It’s too late in the year for flowers, the blooms having fallen from the bushes around them months ago. But when the girls finally break apart, Elphaba gasps as all around them, on every bush and trellis, brilliant pink blossoms burst into life. 

Her head swivels around in wide-eyed awe. “Did I do that?” she wonders. She turns to see what Galinda thinks and startles when she realizes the girl is just- staring at her. 

Where Elphaba was wonderstruck by the magic around them, Galinda seems just as entranced. Only, her eyes are locked on Elphaba’s face. She looks so radiant standing there, face open and shining and haloed by brand new blooms. 

Pushed by a sudden surge of inspiration, Elphaba reaches out and plucks one, tucking the short green stem behind one of Galinda’s ears the way she’d seen Fiyero do last night. The pink of it looks right at home amongst her honeyed locks.

“W-what was that for?” Galinda breathes. 

Elphaba shrugs, feeling oddly embarrassed. “Just…felt like it.” She flicks the edge of a satin petal then gives in to the urge to tap gently against Galinda’s nose, smiling when it makes the girl go slightly crosseyed for a moment. “Pretty as a rose.”

This time, when Galinda blushes, her whole face turns as pink as the flower in her hair. For just a moment, there’s a terribly desperate sense of longing that washes over her face, but it’s gone too fast to really notice. She blinks like she’s waking from a dream. 

“You think I’m pretty?” Galinda asks softly. It makes Elphaba laugh. 

“I think you’re the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever met, Galinda,” Elphaba says. Her tone leaves no room for negotiation. Galinda’s eyes are so deep she could drown in them, glittering with emotions too numerous to count. 

But at least one of them is gratitude. That Elphaba knows, because when the blonde slips a hand into Elphaba’s and squeezes hard, her breathy voice whispering “thank you” into the breeze, there’s a swell of it so strong it feels like magic all its own. 

It feels deeper than Elphaba can process. More meaningful than she knows. There’s something in the way Galinda looks at her that makes Elphaba feel both stripped bare and simultaneously overflowing, and it’s a feeling that she wants to hold on to for the rest of her life. 

Something about Galinda makes Elphaba feel alive. Her magic sings under her skin, the flowers swirl and dance around them, and everything, just for a moment, feels really truly fine. 

Elphaba takes a breath and gives Galinda’s hand an answering squeeze. “You’re welcome.”

***

The girls head back after that, unable to hold off the exhaustion any further. Elphaba lets Galinda grab onto her arm as they walk to the dorm, Galinda wheezing slightly and whining under her breath as they hike up Shiz’s spiral staircases. 

“You and your vendetta against stairs,” Elphaba teases, playing into what she hopes is Galinda slipping back into a happier mood. Galinda is generally pretty bright and bubbly, if slightly dramatic and nervous, but she can slide into these quieter, sadder moods at times, and Elphaba feels they’ve gotten more frequent the past week or so. 

“They’re tiring,” Galinda whines back, pouting and huffing in exertion. “And I’m in heels.” 

“That last one is entirely your own fault, you know.”

Galinda groans, falling dramatically into Elphaba’s side so the older girl is forced to wrap an arm around her waist. She can feel Galinda’s heart pounding again and frowns. A set of stairs shouldn’t be difficult for a healthy young adult. 

“Do you want a piggyback ride?” Elphaba offers. “There isn’t anyone around.”

Galinda hesitates at first, but she’s clearly tired, and she nods after just a few seconds. Elphaba bends down and lets the girl hop on, feeling her adjust and frowning harder when she registers that Galinda feels lighter than the last time she did this. 

At this rate, Elphaba’s going to get permanent worry lines by the time she turns twenty-four. 

The rest of the journey is quiet, Galinda’s small huffs of air ghosting past Elphaba’s ear. With her chest pressed to Elphaba’s back, the older girl can feel her pulse settle and her muscles relax. 

It takes a tiny bit of juggling to unlock their door, but Galinda clings to her like a little limpet, Elphaba practically having to shake her off when they enter. Shoes are removed, bags are set aside. And Galinda pauses, glancing between Elphaba and the bed.

Elphaba knows what she wants to ask. Honestly, she’d assumed that it was implied. Galinda looks so nervous, though, like she genuinely thinks there’s a chance Elphaba will deny her. As if. 

Elphaba slides onto Galinda's bed, patting the mattress beside her and grabbing for the book she’d left nearby. Galinda crawls up cautiously, settling down and pulling her fuzzy pink blanket over her lap. 

It feels strangely awkward considering they’ve done this a few times now. Galinda seems to have something on her mind, so Elphaba waits, holding the book but not opening it just yet. 

“You should sleep, too,” Galinda says. Her gaze is downturned, focused on her hands fiddling with the edge of the blanket. “You stayed up all night.”

“I will once you’re asleep,” Elphaba replies. 

Galinda shrugs. “We could fall asleep, um, together this time?”

Elphaba feels her heart skip. Is Galinda trying to ask her to…cuddle?

“Oh. Uh. Sure.” Elphaba puts the book aside and scoots lower, a little stiff in anticipation. She doesn’t know if she’ll be able to sleep with Galinda pressed to her side. 

Galinda shuffles closer, close enough that their arms and hips and legs are touching. Elphaba tries to stay still and keep breathing evenly. This is normal. She’s fine. 

Friends cuddle. …right?

Elphaba feels Galinda sigh, leaning over to press her head against Elphaba’s arm. “Elphaba?” she asks softly. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Brown eyes blink up at her. “I never got to earlier.”

“Of course.”

There’s a brief pause, like Galinda is gathering the courage to continue, then: “I’ve been in love before.”

Oh. Elphaba feels her throat tighten slightly, unsure where this is going. Galinda sounds…she sounds heartbroken. As if her short confession took everything from her. Meant everything. 

“I never got to tell them,” Galinda whispers. “Not in a way that matters.” Her fingers tighten on the blanket. 

“Last night…at the Ozdust…” Her exhale trembles out of her, Galinda’s head lifting as she searches the room. 

Elphaba follows her line of sight and lands on the hat. Tall, black, pointy, and bold. It meant something to Galinda. She was sure of it now. 

There was a reason Galinda wanted her to have it. 

“Last night, while we were dancing together…” Galinda tips her chin, looking up at Elphaba behind her. Her eyes are shiny, unreadable and vast. Elphaba holds her breath, already knowing whatever Galinda says next will break her. 

“It was the closest I’ve felt to them in a really long time.”

Elphaba’s eyes fall shut, a piercing pain sliding between her ribs. She turns the words over in her mind, picturing the way Galinda had looked last night. When she opens her eyes again, the first thing she sees is that damn hat. 

Elphaba can’t help but wonder if the person Galinda loved…the one last night reminded her of…had been the original owner of the hat. She can’t help but wonder if it was the same person that Galinda had lost. 

The one whose ghost haunts her still. 

All she really knows, right now, in this moment, is that whoever that person was, Galinda had loved them. Really, truly loved them in a way that transcends the capabilities of mere words. It’s in the way her breath trembles and shakes. In the way her eyes fill with tears. In the way Galinda looks and sounds like her heart has been shattered and there’s no way to fix it. 

All Elphaba really knows, right now, in this moment, is that whoever Galinda loved…Elphaba must surely pale in comparison.

Chapter Text

Elphaba wakes up slowly, sunlight pouring over her like honey, soft and golden and warm. She blinks her eyes open to an even brighter sight, Galinda fast asleep and snuggled close, curled up and pressed to the curves of Elphaba’s body. 

The smile that stretches across Elphaba’s face couldn’t possibly be contained, her eyes closing automatically as though her body knows it can’t handle such a sight for too long without combusting. They fit together like puzzle pieces, like Elphaba’s body was made to wrap around the small blonde, holding her close and keeping her safe. 

Just for a moment, everything is right in the world. 

The events from earlier filter in, eventually, Elphaba suppressing a sigh as she thinks back on the whirlwind that was the Ozdust and this morning. Judging by the fading sun, they’ve slept well past lunch and are late into the afternoon now, both of them catching up on some much-needed rest. 

A snuffle from beside her makes Elphaba’s gaze fall back to Galinda’s face, smooth of her normally anxious eyebrows or practiced smile. She looks peaceful like this, the ever-present weight on her shoulders and ghosts in her head unable to touch her in the depths of her dreams. At least- Elphaba hopes not. She hopes Galinda’s dreams are sweet and easy, full of the happiness she can’t seem to glean from their everyday life. 

The more she grows closer to Galinda, the more she realizes how many of her smiles and optimisms are performance. 

Elphaba reaches out to gently brush a few stray strands of gold from Galinda’s fair face. There’s a tightness in her chest when she thinks about the secret Galinda told her right before they fell asleep. Elphaba had already known her feelings for Galinda would never be requited, but she still hadn’t been prepared for the sheer heartbreak in Galinda’s voice. 

Love like that? It only comes once in a lifetime; that Elphaba is sure of. 

A few more minutes of slowly booting her brain back up pass comfortably before Galinda starts to stir beside her. Her nose crinkles up, her brow scrunches, and her eyelids flutter as she catches a massive yawn behind her hand. When she finally blinks properly awake, Elphaba is the first thing she sees.

There’s a soft, sweet smile--a real one, Elphaba can tell--that overtakes her face as Galinda relaxes deeper into the pillow and reaches out to run a fingertip down the side of Elphaba’s face. “Good morning, Elphie,” Galinda whispers. 

Elphaba smiles back, a tiny bubble of laughter in her chest. “You know,” she says. “You only call me that when you’re sleepy or just waking up.” Or when she’s panicking, but Elphaba isn’t going to say that. 

She watches with interest as Galinda’s eyes flicker with confusion before something dark settles over them, a shutter closing them off. Her smile drops, and Elphaba frowns in tandem as she tries to figure out what about what she just said was enough to cause such a dramatic shift. 

“Uh, sorry,” she stammers, unsure why Galinda is pulling away now but suddenly desperate to get that softness back. “I don’t mind it- I think it’s cute, honestly--”

“No,” Galinda cuts off. She shivers, scooching a few inches away on the bed. “Sorry, I mean- I don’t-- I like your name how it is. Elphaba.”

“Ookayyy,” Elphaba drawls. She’s more than a little confused by the turn of events, but they’re both definitely awake now, and she figures it’s best to just let the whole thing slide. She wonders if Galinda wanted to keep the nickname secret or something. Maybe she was embarrassed? 

Elphaba shakes herself, figuring it’s not a big enough issue to waste too much time on, and sits up in bed as Galinda does the same, trying to recapture the peace of the afternoon. 

“I wonder if anyone else is awake yet,” Elphaba teases, smoothly changing the topic. She glances out the window at the late afternoon sun. “They got back even later than we did.”

“Fiyero will probably sleep all day,” Galinda replies, stretching her arms over her head and rolling her neck. 

Elphaba glances at her curiously. “Did you get to know him very well last night? It looked like you two were dancing together when I arrived.”

Galinda startles slightly, blinking quickly. “Oh, um, no, not really. I just…know his type.”

Makes sense. Galinda would know all about pretty, popular, party boys. Didn’t she say Fiyero reminded her of someone? A foul thought enters Elphaba’s head. What if the person Fiyero reminded her of…was the same one she used to love? 

“Is his type…your type?” Elphaba asks, stumbling past subtlety in her desperation to know. She hides her clenched fists under the blankets, unable to look Galinda’s way as she waits for an answer. What is she supposed to do if Galinda says yes?

“What? Oh, no, no, no. At least- not like that. I’ve had, um, friends like him before. Just friends.”

When Elphaba chances a peek, Galinda’s cheeks are bright red, and she seems just as unwilling to make direct eye contact. Elphaba isn’t sure whether or not to believe her. Surely, someone doesn’t react like that unless they’re trying to cover something up. 

But she doesn’t want to push Galinda on something she might be uncomfortable talking about, so once again, Elphaba lets the topic shift to something more neutral. The girls drag themselves out of bed slowly, stretching and yawning and in no rush to do anything or go anywhere. It’s a nice change from the usual hustle and bustle of Galinda’s daily life, and Elphaba finds herself appreciating the peace and comfort. 

She watches Galinda fix her hair and makeup, frowning at the wrinkles in her skirt until she eventually decides to just change her whole outfit. Long shadows stretch across the room as evening approaches, their lamps turned on and casting Galinda’s side of the suite in a pink haze. It catches on Galinda’s fair hair and pale skin, giving her her own kind of glow. 

She’s humming something under her breath, a light melody that Elphaba doesn’t recognize, and Elphaba finds herself simply lying on the bed, admiring the view. Her heart is surely doing something foolish right about now, falling deeper and deeper into inescapable feelings for an unattainable woman. But Elphaba can’t find it in herself to care. She wishes she could wake up like this every morning. Every morning for the rest of their lives. 

Eventually, Elphaba’s stomach starts to grumble and reminds her that she hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast, so she throws her jacket and shoes back on and leads Galinda toward the dining hall. There are a few more signs of life than earlier, the rest of Shiz having recovered somewhat and also seeking food to soothe whatever they’d been up to at the Ozdust. 

Elphaba has personally only ever been hungover once, and she very much is glad to have forwent such an experience again last night. 

There’s a small crowd at the girls’ usual table, so Elphaba lets Galinda go say her hellos while Elphaba grabs two trays of food. By the time she makes her way over, a certain handsome prince has joined the group, flirting shamelessly with all of the girls and sending Galinda a wink. He smiles at Elphaba, too, when she sits down. 

“You two were the talk of the ballroom!” Fiyero exclaims, plopping into a chair and grinning with excitement. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Elphaba studiously ignores him--an all too easy task, if she’s honest--and slides a tray over in front of Galinda. She knows the girl won’t eat much of it, especially not when she’s busy entertaining her friends, but it’s worth a shot. 

“Good morning to you, too, Elphaba,” Fiyero says, laughing at her attitude. 

“It’s nearly evening,” Elphaba shoots back on autopilot, cringing when she realizes she played right into his hands. Fiyero’s eyes light up a little. 

“Right, right. Say- what are you ladies up to this fine evening, anyway?”

“ Not going back to the Ozdust, that’s for sure.” This time, it’s Galinda who shoots the prince down. 

“What? You didn’t enjoy last night?”

“Well, of course I enjoyed dancing with Elphaba.” Galinda shoots the green girl a quick wink. Elphaba has to quickly shove some food in her mouth to cover her blush. 

Fiyero grins, leaning in closer to Galinda. “Any other partners stand out?” he asks leadingly. 

Galinda makes a show of looking thoughtful, even tapping a perfectly manicured nail to her chin. “Hmm. No, no one I can think of. Why- did someone stand out to you?”

Fiyero lays a hand over his heart and twists his face into an exaggerated expression of hurt. “You wound me, Glinda. I thought we really had something.”

Galinda rolls her eyes, but anyone can tell that it’s fond. “Oh, baby. That was just a courtesy dance. You didn’t think it meant anything, did you?”

The rest of the group snickers at the teasing, but Galinda is leaning in, too, a matching grin on her lips, and Fiyero seems delighted by her answer rather than put off. He laughs, shaking his head in defeat. 

“Tsk. I must be losing my touch.” He swoons dramatically, leaning back and getting the crowd to gasp in sympathy, several hands reaching out to hold him up lest he fall out of his chair. Elphaba hides her eye roll behind her cup. 

“At least give us a full day to recover, Fiyero.” Galinda reaches out and pats his arm, giving him a fake look of sympathy. “Maybe try again next weekend, yeah?”

Elphaba watches the interaction with interest, her own food sitting untouched. She’s never quite seen Galinda talk so comfortably with someone, falling into a natural sort of banter that she doesn’t have even with Pfannee and ShenShen. She matches Fiyero’s energy flawlessly, and Elphaba watches with awe as she’s able to turn the topic to something entirely normal and boring- pulling the rest of her friends back into the conversation. 

She’s good, Elphaba thinks. A slimy foulness twists in her gut as her gaze slides to bright blue eyes. So is he. 

Charming, charismatic, and entertaining. Capturing a crowd with barely a word, leaving everyone hanging on to the slightest shred of recognition from who are--for all intents and purposes--the king and queen of Shiz University. Elphaba can see it now. 

Galinda may say Fiyero isn’t her type, but Elphaba has read enough romance books to know- boys love when girls play hard to get. The slime in her gut solidifies, weighing her down like rocks, making her meal sit uneasy in her stomach as she eats. 

Elphaba knows jealousy. Intimately . She’s grown up feeling the suffocating green roots of envy tangling in her lungs each time her father gave Nessarose the attention and love that Elphaba craved. But this? Being jealous over a girl? Is something new. 

Day one of being in love with Galinda Upland. Elphaba truly doesn’t know how long she’ll last. 

***

Fiyero falls right into the swing of things surprisingly well for someone who’s been kicked out of several schools. The student body adores him, of course, and Elphaba gets used to seeing him around, sitting with them at mealtimes and during classes. 

Galinda and Fiyero are- they’re good together. They match. They have a similar sense of humor, laughing at inside jokes and gossiping about Shiz’s social life together. There’s an ease to Galinda when she’s around Fiyero that she never had with her other friends, and despite the niggling sense of jealousy that burns in Elphaba’s stomach, she can admit that Fiyero is good for Galinda. 

It’s interesting to watch, considering Galinda’s initial reaction to the prince’s arrival. Elphaba tries not to press, but she does ask one night, rolling over in her bed and eyeing the circle of pink lamplight across the room. 

“Galinda?” she whispers, waiting for brown eyes to turn her way. A tiny smile quirks the side of her mouth. “Tell me a secret.”

Elphaba asks almost every night, now. It’s their thing. A part of this new pattern of life that they’re both falling into. Tonight, Elphaba has a particular secret in mind that she’s curious about, watching closely as Galinda sighs and fidgets restlessly with the edge of her sheets. 

“He- he reminds me of someone,” she says again. “That first day, I think that reminder was too much for me. I…wasn’t prepared for how much I would-- how much I-I miss them.”

Galinda swallows hard enough for Elphaba to catch the bob of her throat from across the room. She wishes she were closer. They haven’t cuddled in bed together since the day after the Ozdust, and Elphaba has found herself lying awake on more than one night, wishing she had the courage to ask. 

“Now, though,” Galinda continues softly. “Now, I think the reminder is…nice. In a way. It hurts, sometimes, but it’s easier to remember all the good things. All the ways I lo-- ..yeah. All the good things.”

Galinda stops there, and Elphaba lets her, turning the girl’s words over in her mind as she falls asleep. The good things. She feels a pang of guilt for being so jealous of Galinda and Fiyero’s interactions. Elphaba knows what it feels like to miss someone. To feel that hole in your life. 

She would never ever want to take something away from Galinda that helps fill that hole, even in the smallest of ways. 

“I think you would really like him,” Galinda tells her later, the both of them sitting out in the sunlight, Elphaba with a book open in her lap. It’s just chilly enough that Galinda has an excuse to sit pressed against her, her legs tucked under herself as she leans on Elphaba’s shoulder. 

“Like who?” Elphaba mumbles, mostly lost in her reading. 

“Fiyero. I think you would really like him if you got to know him better.”

“I don’t dislike Fiyero.”

“Yeah, but…you’re not really friends, right? I think you could be. You’re more alike than you think.”

Elphaba looks up at that, frowning at the girl beside her. Galinda has this strange look in her eyes, even as she tries to smile convincingly. The breeze blows past, sending a shiver through Galinda’s thin frame, and the blonde snuggles even closer. 

“Just, give him a chance? You deserve to have as many friends as possible, Elphaba.”

Gentle warmth blooms in Elphaba’s chest. She had never thought of it that way. Elphaba had spent so long convincing herself she was unloveable in an effort to make it hurt less when other people told her so. The idea that she could have not one but two friends was, for all her life, an unthinkable dream. 

“Okay,” she finally says. She tips her head down to rest it atop Galinda’s golden curls, breathing in the soft scent of her shampoo. She’d lost the ability to say no to Galinda long ago. 

So, Elphaba spends more time with Fiyero. She comes to appreciate his sense of humor as well, comes to see past the thin mask he presents to the world. He’s not nearly as skilled as Galinda is at hiding his true self and feelings. Elphaba can tell he’s not just some shallow prince. 

He cares. For someone who calls himself ‘brainless,’ he’s shockingly thoughtful. Not in the practiced gestures of an etiquette-trained gentleman, but in the small motions of steadying Galinda when she stumbles, of the worry in his eyes when he notices her barely touched meals, of the softness in his face and the realness of his smile as he spins her on the floor of the ballroom. 

Fiyero is a good friend, and he doesn’t seem to mind that Galinda very clearly doesn’t want to be anything more. Elphaba gets used to his teasing and flirting, and she grows to enjoy his company more than she expected. How could she not? Fiyero, like Galinda, has never cared that Elphaba is green. 

***

“Focus, dear.”

Morrible’s voice is silky smooth, not unlike the long fabric of her dress as it swishes around her ankles. With her eyes closed, Elphaba only has the sound to go by to track the woman’s location as she paces around the room. There are three coins on the table in front of Elphaba. 

Her task is simple. Stack all three coins on top of one another using only her magic. Elphaba has gotten much better lately at basic levitation, wobbling a single coin around in the air in weaving patterns. Now, Morrible wants to work on finesse. Fine-tuning Elphaba’s control. 

Working with Morrible has been…fine. It’s one of the few times a week that Elphaba is away from Galinda, and thankfully, Morrible seems to have mostly dropped her negative opinion of the girl. Which possibly had something to do with Elphaba’s lack of subtlety in talking her up in her first lesson after the Ozdust. 

“Well. Perhaps I was wrong about Miss Upland,” Morrible had said, voice just the right pitch for neutrality. They had decidedly left it at that.

Elphaba has a feeling Morrible doesn’t actually like Galinda any more than she did before, but she seems to respect the fact that she is Elphaba’s friend, and that’s enough for now. Instead, their lessons are entirely focused on magic, on honing Elphaba’s raw talent into a serviceable skill. 

It’s hard. Harder than Elphaba would’ve ever expected. She can make her sister fly into the air, but stacking a trio of coins takes all the concentration she can muster, her brow sweating from effort by the time she slumps, grinning with success, back into her seat. 

“Wonderful, dear,” Morrible applauds. She squeezes Elphaba’s shoulder as she passes, taking in the wobbly but standing stack of coins. “We should be able to move on to heavier items soon,” the sorceress continues. “You’ve improved leaps and bounds these past couple of weeks.”

“Thank you, Madame Morrible. I-I’ve been working really hard on practicing outside of class. Galinda has been helping me.”

“Has she now?”

“Yes, she’s very well read on the subject. She’s been really helpful in getting me to feel when my magic is ready to be used and in learning the difference between when it is a trickle versus a roar.”

It’s something that Galinda has actually done a lot better than Morrible, not that Elphaba would say that. Morrible has been great at helping Elphaba to shape her magic to her will but not so great at helping Elphaba channel the right amount of it. Every sorceress is different, apparently, and Morrible’s description of what her own magic feels like just…didn’t click for Elphaba. 

Galinda seems to have an almost uncanny ability to understand exactly what Elphaba is feeling. She had been spot on in helping Elphaba learn what her magic felt like, how to reach it, and how to draw upon only as much as she needed. It’s still difficult, like trying to use a new set of muscles that are weak and underdeveloped, but Elphaba is slowly growing stronger; she can feel it now. 

Thankfully, there hasn’t been another incident like the one with the light bulbs. Elphaba’s magic occasionally goes on the fritz, but the damage so far hasn’t been any worse than a single cracked tea mug, one that Galinda had no problem gluing back together. 

The girls have taken to spending at least an hour or two every evening helping Elphaba work on little spells. They’re getting deep into the semester, but Elphaba’s schoolwork is coming along well, especially with the help of Galinda who, despite not spending much time on it, always has perfectly completed homework. 

At first, Elphaba had been hesitant to ask for the blonde’s help. Sorcery seminar seems to be a bit of a sore spot for Galinda, and Elphaba hated the idea of making her uncomfortable. She’d started by asking Galinda for assistance with regular schoolwork first, until it became habit for the two to talk aloud while studying, assisting each other in the areas they were weaker in. 

Eventually, Elphaba had brought up the idea of incorporating sorcery as well, and Galinda hadn’t even hesitated. “Of course!” she’d exclaimed. Elphaba had smiled in return, something like relief and heartache warring for dominance in her chest.

If Elphaba thought it was hard to stay focused with Morrible walking around, trying to do it with Galinda in the room is much much worse. 

“Eyes shut. Toes clenched.” Galinda giggles, her voice dropping out of the lofty impression of Morrible. She seems to be in a good mood today, brighter than yesterday or the day before. 

“The ‘toes clenched’ part never made sense to me, you know,” Elphaba says, smiling at the sound of the blonde’s laughter. She does as instructed, still, as ridiculous as it feels. At least with her eyes closed, she can’t get distracted by the bounce of Galinda’s pink skirt as she circles the dorm. 

“Me neither. But I think it’s just meant to help you focus and channel yourself.”

Elphaba nods, eyes slipping shut. She concentrates, brow furrowing as she digs into herself to find that pit of warmth deep in her core, pulling on it until it rises, slow like sticky molasses, to the surface. She lets it pool in her palms, holding out a hand to the small candle on the desktop. 

Fire, she thinks, picturing the flickering flame in her mind. Fire. 

There’s a tiny gasp from beside her, and Elphaba’s eyes crack open to see, to her surprise and excitement, a perfect little flame waving at her from atop the candle’s wick. 

“I-I did it!” she exclaims. On her first try, no less. Usually it takes her several just to get the candle to smolder.  

“You did! Oh, Elphaba, you’re amazing!” 

It seems a little silly to be so happy over such a tiny accomplishment, but this is progress. Elphaba was able to get her magic to do exactly what she wanted, no more and no less. Not just a spark or some smoke. Not a flash of fire so big it nearly singes her eyebrows. Just a tiny, controlled flame, perfectly suited for the candle it crowns. 

Elphaba laughs, joyous and relieved. This is proof that she is learning. She is getting better. She looks up from the flame, smile stretching, and feels her heart skip two beats in her chest. 

Galinda is standing at the side of the desk, blonde curls falling over one shoulder as she looks down at the candle and leaving the shoulder nearest to Elphaba bare, highlighting the curve and dip and length of her neck and the sharp contrast of her collarbone. She’s beaming, face glowing, brown eyes as golden as her hair in the firelight. 

The shadows from the darker side of the room cling to her back, making her look ethereal and angelic, her pale hair picking up on the flickering tone of the tiny flame. There’s something soft and relieved in her own expression, something delighted and excited in her grin. She finally looks up to meet Elphaba’s eyes, and the older girl swears she feels something crack behind her ribs. 

Oz, I love you. Elphaba breathes in the rosy scent of the candle and tries to will her heart into settling into something resembling a normal rhythm. She isn’t sure such a fragile organ was ever designed to face the sheer beauty of someone like Galinda. 

“Beautiful,” Elphaba lets slip out, barely a ghost of a whisper. She lets Galinda think she means the flame. And when the golden girl finally blows it out, instructing Elphaba to try again, Elphaba does her best to bury the bitter sorrow that clings to her throat.

Chapter Text

As the temperature continues to drop, and classes drone on and on, Elphaba finds her life falling into a new pattern, one of friendship and late nights and wayward trips into the city.  

She and Galinda both continue to grow closer to Fiyero, allowing him to drag them off on escapades into Shiz and to the Ozdust whenever Galinda has time in her schedule. Galinda has swapped her brunches and meetings for nights spent dancing and drinking or afternoons spent running around Shiz City. 

Now that she has an excuse to spend more time in the city, Galinda is insatiable. She starts by wheedling Elphaba into a shopping trip that ends up with both their arms laden with more bags than Elphaba cares to count. Skirts, dresses, blouses. All the attire Galinda deems necessary for their new social schedule. 

“Just a few stores!” Galinda promises. Elphaba starts to realize somewhere around store five that she and Galinda have vastly different ideas as to what, exactly, a ‘few’ means.

Instead of club meetings at school, now Galinda is dragging her out to attend dinner in the city and performances at the theater and ballet. Elphaba gets used to the looks and startled gasps of Shiz City’s citizens when they catch a glimpse of her, and she learns how to let Galinda’s grip on her hand ground her and the group’s excited energy bolster her. 

“Hey,” a gentle voice calls, Elphaba’s gaze dipping to find soft brown eyes. Galinda smiles, knowing and kind. “Don’t worry about them.”

“They’re staring.”

“So? Let them.” Galinda gives her a cheeky wink, something more along the lines of what Elphaba might expect from Fiyero. “I happen to like this view.”

“You’re biased.”

Galinda laughs, short but genuine. “Very,” she admits. She tips her head back into Elphaba’s shoulder, leaning on her slightly while they wait in line with everyone else. “But I’m right.”

Elphaba sighs, trying to let Galinda’s words, her confidence, wash through her. She’s just another college kid, enjoying her time out in the city with some friends. Eventually, even the snobbiest of attendees at their most elite banquets and balls start to get used to the sight of Elphaba, always with Galinda and Fiyero at her sides.

“This is Elphaba Thropp, eldest daughter of Governor Thropp of Munchkinland,” Galinda will introduce, formal and stiff with a slight edge to her words that dares anyone to say anything. Elphaba shakes a lot of hands, sends a lot of polite smiles, and starts to realize that, for some people, status means more than appearance.

“Governor?” these ones will say. Elphaba can see the little light in their eyes change to something more calculating and appreciative. Elphaba is more than just a rich kid- she’s a person who will someday inherit a whole lot more power than any average citizen can imagine. In Gillikin, this is clearly to her advantage. 

Elphaba lets Galinda steer her through it, pulling on every lesson she learned in her childhood, trying to make the best impressions possible. It helps that she has the darling of Frottica at her side and a foreign, handsome prince on the other. Between the three of them, they’re becoming almost notorious amongst the Shiz citizens, a power trio of the young elite.

“Miss Thropp,” she’s greeted with now. Elphaba weaves through restaurants and not a single patron turns and gawks or loses their appetite. She peruses racks of clothing in stores and no one cringes at the touch of her skin against the nice fabric. Eventually, Elphaba’s green skin starts to feel like the least of her worries. 

No, her worries are almost entirely focused on Galinda these days. Galinda, the girl she’s in love with. Galinda, the girl who will never love her back.  

Her eating habits haven’t gotten any better. Elphaba has taken to carrying small snacks in her bag that she can try and shove in Galinda’s hands whenever she feels the girl has gone too long without sustenance. Galinda humors her, but she never has much of an appetite on her own. Sometimes, it feels like the very act of eating is a chore for Galinda, something Elphaba just can’t wrap her head around. 

It’s taking its toll on her, though, that Elphaba can tell. Galinda’s mood tends to ebb and flow. She shifts between the bubbly, energetic social princess that everyone expects her to be and a girl so lost in her thoughts that she barely responds to her own name. Only Elphaba ever gets to see the latter, those moments when Galinda doesn’t even want to get out of bed. Where she glares at Elphaba--something almost angry hidden in her eyes--whenever the older girl tries to get her moving.

As the weeks drag on, the slumps get longer, her weakness and fatigue showing. 

“You’re pushing yourself too hard,” Elphaba tries to argue. But Galinda just gets that same fretful, anxious look on her face, glancing at her calendar as though she feels she’s running out of time. 

“I’m fine, Elphaba,” Galinda says, over and over and over again. Elphaba never believes her. She’s pretty sure Galinda doesn’t even believe herself. 

Instead, Galinda lets Fiyero drag her on the dance floor at the Ozdust more nights than not, spinning under the river and letting the alcohol flow freely. She always asks Elphaba first, a strange shadow to her eyes as she glances back at Fiyero, but Elphaba hangs on the side every time. Her singular performance was enough for a lifetime, and she much prefers nursing a glass of soda water and trying to befriend some of the Animal patrons that frequent the ballroom. 

Her attention tends to be torn between the two: watching Galinda or talking to the Animals. She gains the trust of the bartender, a fast-footed Raccoon who introduces her to the band members and a few regulars. Elphaba isn’t like other humans. To the Animals, her green skin is a sign that she gets it. She understands what it’s like to be looked at and deemed different. Lesser. 

She becomes closest to a willowy female Deer whose ears flick in constant anxious motion as she sits in the darkest, calmest corner. Her voice is barely over a whisper when she confesses to Elphaba that she only comes to the Ozdust because it’s one of the few places left where the Animals can talk freely. 

“What do you mean?” Elphaba asks. Worry tangles in her stomach, an uncomfortably familiar feeling these days. 

The Deer, Lyra, glances around nervously. She leans forward over the table, eyes wide. “Many Animals have gone missing or are actually leaving.” Her voice trembles and her ears slide back against her head. “A friend said some are even losing their ability to speak.”

Losing their ability to speak??

“But why? How? What’s going on?” Elphaba presses. But Lyra either doesn’t know or won’t tell her. Elphaba leaves the Deer to wander back toward the lights and sounds of the dance floor, wondering if tonight is the night she finally indulges in something stronger. 

Prior to taking on all these social excursions into the city, Elphaba hadn’t realized how sheltered she was, growing up homeschooled in Munchkinland, kept away from most of the other citizens and not traveling to other cities or towns. It’s almost like she’s seeing the world for the very first time. 

And it’s not at all what she thought. Their fun excursions into the city have really opened her eyes, Elphaba looking around and seeing how none of the shop fronts are run by Animals. How the theater seats are designed only for humans. The subtle discrimination in requiring ‘shoes’ to be served at a restaurant. It feels wrong. 

Elphaba doesn’t know what to do with all this worry. For Galinda. For Lyra. For the Animals. For Oz. 

It feels too big to comprehend. Like she has stumbled into something too much for her to handle. She can barely even keep tabs on her own roommate, someone right in front of her. 

Elphaba stops just outside the dance floor, hanging in the shadows as she watches Fiyero dance with Galinda. The jealousy barely even registers anymore. Elphaba isn’t any more immune to the magnetism of the two than anyone else. They are utterly dazzling, whirling across the floor in a swirl of pink skirts, blonde hair, and rich laughter. 

There’s something so entrancing about the pair. Something that everyone in the room can feel. The wave of bodies parts naturally to let them go spinning by, the watery overhead reflections clinging to their skin like little spotlights that give them an otherworldly glow. As if they’re something more than human. Something untouchable. Unattainable. 

Brown eyes meet emerald from across the room and light up, Galinda stopping in the middle of a song to rush toward Elphaba, weaving through the crowd. “Elphie!” she cries, bounding up to Elphaba with Fiyero on her heels. 

She’s all but buzzing, her pupils blown wide and her cheeks shining red. She stumbles over her heels, her typical stiffness gone as she giggles and sways. Elphaba reaches out to steady her, taking her into her arms and feeling the way her chest is heaving for air. 

“You let her get drunk,” she accuses Fiyero. “Again.” 

But Fiyero is barely any better off and just accepts her grumble of complaint with a shrug and a grin. Elphaba can’t really blame him. They both know Galinda does what Galinda wants, and typically, when they’re at the ballroom, what she wants is to get drunk. 

It doesn’t take much, as tiny as she is. She gulps down a few shots early in the night and spends the next few hours utterly lost to the haze, sobering up just enough on the boat ride back to school that Elphaba hasn’t quite had to carry her home. Yet. 

The use of alcohol as a means to have fun each night is just as worrying as all of Galinda’s other self-destructive habits, though. And it doesn’t help that this one seems to only be encouraged by the rest of their friend group. 

“Come on, Elphaba. Loosen up a bit.” Fiyero even says. He shoots her a wink. “I’ve still got a few more dances in me if you want a turn.”

Elphaba just rolls her eyes. She’s turned down more than one such invitation this week already. Galinda is a warm weight in her arms, snuggling further into Elphaba’s side with a soft sigh. Her eyelids flutter closed, lashes dark against her pale skin. She’s all dressed up and sparkling, but Elphaba knows the exhaustion will hit even harder when they get back to the dorm. 

“I think it’s time we head out, actually,” Elphaba says, voice firm. She’ll give him credit- Fiyero never tries to push it. Ever the gentleman, he escorts them home, the autumn air snapping at them as they exit the tunnel, sobering at least one of their little group. 

It takes both Fiyero and Elphaba to get Galinda in the boat without it tipping over, the blonde practically just a bundle of loose limbs. She slumps against Elphaba on the seat, nearly falling into the older girl’s lap. Elphaba runs her hands through the golden strands and nibbles on her bottom lip worriedly as she picks up on the way Galinda’s pulse is still racing. 

She’s wiped out, and even though she has a miraculous superpower of never being hungover the next morning, Elphaba knows these outings aren’t good for her. Galinda’s body can barely handle the stress of going up two flights of consecutive stairs. She certainly can’t keep spending hours dancing like this. Her breath is coming in shallow wheezes, and it takes nearly the whole boat ride back to Shiz before her heart rate calms to something resembling resting. 

“Galinda?” Elphaba prods. She knows the girl isn’t asleep. She gets a low hum in response as Fiyero hops out to tie the boat off. “We’re back. Come on, we’ll help you out.”

Hadn’t Elphaba just been thinking about how she’d never had to carry Galinda back? Well, it seems she spoke too soon. The moment they part from Fiyero, Elphaba turns around and pulls Galinda onto her back, Galinda giving a startled yelp of surprise as she’s suddenly lifted off her feet.

“I can walk!” she exclaims, but Elphaba can already feel her relaxing into the hold, looping her arms carefully around Elphaba’s shoulders. 

“This is faster,” is all Elphaba says. She doesn’t want Galinda to see that she’s annoyed with her. Because…it’s not that simple. Elphaba knows that sneaking out, going to parties, getting drunk, and dancing with pretty boys is par for the course when it comes to popular college girls. Elphaba may not have much experience with friends, but she has read plenty of books. 

Galinda is pretty stereotypical of any of the female characters in those classic young adult romances Elphaba has read, and she is far from the only student at Shiz who enjoys indulging. But…Galinda is not some fictional character with a guaranteed happy ending and enough plot armor to deflect a tank. She’s just a girl, real and vulnerable and fading before Elphaba’s eyes. 

A girl Elphaba is in love with and who she can’t stand the idea of losing. She’s only known Galinda for a couple of months, and already she is the most important person in Elphaba’s life. The weight of her on Elphaba’s back, the swing of her heeled feet, the musical lilt to her voice as she hums in Elphaba’s ear. 

All of it- it matters to Elphaba. More than she could’ve possibly imagined just a few short weeks ago. Elphaba slips into their room in silence, gently sitting Galinda down on her bed. The blonde flops back dramatically, unwilling to hold herself up. She’s still drunk, smiling dopily up at Elphaba as the green girl stares down at her and tries to wrangle her thoughts together. 

“What?” Elphaba asks, oh so eloquent. 

“Nothing. Just looking.”

“At what?”

Galinda frowns briefly, then smiles again. “At you,” she says. Her head tilts, hair splayed across the sheets. “I like pretty things.”

Elphaba feels her cheeks flush, and she has to fight the urge to hide it. See? That’s the problem. Galinda is a mess, likened to a comet about to burn out, but she’s also Elphaba’s best friend. She’s beautiful and kind and generous and the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Elphaba knows she’s setting herself up for heartbreak, getting this deep, but she can’t bring herself to stop. 

She’ll take care of Galinda. Even if it hurts her. Even if it breaks her heart. That’s…just what you do for the people you love. 

Chapter Text

Autumn is Elphaba’s favorite season of the year. The air is just cold enough without being frigid, the leaves turn the landscape into a gorgeous canvas of red and orange, and the cooler weather brings with it the perfect excuse to cozy up in bed in her comfiest sweaters. 

Galinda, Elphaba finds out, is also a fan of autumn. She’s definitely a fan of comfy sweaters, immediately taking to stealing one of Elphaba’s favorites, a dark wool number that is meant to be slightly oversized, hand-knit by a family friend and softened by several washes. 

It’s giant on Galinda, the sleeves hanging well past her fingertips and the body so loose she can pull it right over her knees when she curls up. She wouldn’t be caught dead in something like that in front of any of the other students, but Elphaba secretly enjoys seeing it on her. Galinda often naps in it, tucking her nose under her sweater-paws and breathing in the scent of parchment, ink and wool that is so uniquely Elphaba. 

Today is perfect sweater weather, the temperature having plummeted overnight in preparation for a big storm, the scent of coming rain on the air. Galinda keeps eyeing the skies nervously, playing with the edge of her jacket as she watches the clouds gather, thick and dark. 

She refuses to go down for dinner, claiming she would hate to get caught in the rain. She blames it on her hair, saying the water would ruin her curls, but Elphaba has a feeling something else might be going on. Galinda hadn’t pegged her as someone scared of storms, but she supposes it’s not an altogether uncommon fear. 

Munchkinland got plenty of thunderstorms, but Elphaba had learned that they were quite a bit rarer in Gillikin, especially in cozy little mountain towns protected by the towering hills around them. This will be the first proper storm of the semester, and Elphaba is ready for the soothing sound of the rain against the window as she curls up in her bed with a good book. 

She has a candle going already in case the power goes out, and so it’s across from a flickering flame that she catches sight of Galinda staring worryingly at the balcony doors as they rattle in the wind. 

“Hey,” Elphaba calls out, waiting for big brown eyes to turn her way. “It’s just a bit of wind and water. It can’t hurt us.”

Something devastated and hysterical tears from Galinda’s throat in a startled laugh, her hands clenching into the sheets beside her. Elphaba blinks in surprise at the strong reaction as Galinda shakes her head, then again, and again. She mumbles something under her breath, but Elphaba can’t quite catch it. 

“I’m serious,” Elphaba continues, hoping to assuage any anxiety Galinda has over the coming storm. The first patters of rain start to hit, and the blonde’s head whips up. “We get storms in Munchkinland all the time. The worst that’ll happen is that the courtyard will be littered with leaves tomorrow.”

An autumn storm is the perfect way to get the leaves to start falling, stripping the trees bare in preparation for winter around the corner. Right now, everything is orange and red and gold, the sun shining through the trees and turning the forest into a brilliant flame on the horizon. Elphaba has always loved the sight. 

Galinda, however, seems to watch the change of the season with the anxious determination of an Animal preparing for hibernation. As though she’s readying herself for a challenge that Elphaba can’t foresee. “I-It’s not the rain I’m worried about,” Galinda finally whispers. 

Elphaba puts the pieces together a second too late as a flash of lightning bursts through the sky, followed by a clap of thunder too quick to prepare for. Galinda jumps hard, her whole face turning white as her breath catches in her throat. The lights flicker, the walls shake, another strike flashes, and Elphaba looks over to a truly horrible sight.

If there were a stronger word for fear than terror, then surely its very definition would be the look on Galinda’s face right now. Elphaba has never seen someone so scared before, every muscle in Galinda’s body locking in place as a violent shudder starts to wrack through her thin frame and every ounce of blood drains from her face. 

It isn’t like the previous times Elphaba has seen Galinda panic. Those came with a tumble of words and frantic thoughts and fluttering movements. This time, Galinda does none of those things. Instead, it’s like Galinda just…disappears. 

By the time Elphaba has crossed the room to get to her side, Galinda’s terrified expression has fallen into something neutral and frozen, her face pale and her body trembling but her eyes empty. Utterly blank brown orbs, missing even the slightest spark or glimpse of life, as though everything that is Galinda has fled far away. 

It’s like looking at a corpse. Elphaba feels something sick and dark twist in her stomach at the sight, her panic ratcheting up several notches at the knowledge that something is very, very wrong here. 

“Galinda?” she calls. Her hand hovers over the girl’s arm, unsure if the contact will be welcome. The next bolt of lightning only illuminates the blankness of Galinda’s eyes, the thunder rumbling in a wave. Galinda flinches minutely, body tensing, but otherwise doesn’t move or say a word.

“Galinda? Hey, say something, you’re scaring me.” Elphaba climbs onto the bed, sitting in front of Galinda and pressing their knees together. The girl’s breaths are quick and shallow, but she’s just…staring. She blinks, a beat too slow, and looks up at Elphaba when the older girl taps her on the arm.

“It’s just thunder, Galinda,” Elphaba tries to say. “It’s not going to hurt you, I promise. Just- look at me. Can you hear me?”

Slowly, Galinda nods. Elphaba breathes, heart racing, and shuffles closer. 

“Okay, okay. That’s good. Can you, um, can you feel this?” Elphaba grabs Galinda’s hand, giving it a hard squeeze. 

Again- another nod. Great. What next?? Galinda is responding, but she barely even seems aware of it, like her body is on autopilot.

“Right, okay, just- breathe, okay? Deep breaths. It’s just a little storm.”

Elphaba doesn’t know what she’s doing. She’s never seen Galinda like this before. She’s never seen her so out of it. She’s not hyperventilating. She’s not rambling or freaking out. She’s just sitting there, stiff and scared, a hazy look to her eyes. Elphaba is the one who is freaking out. 

At a loss for anything better to do, Elphaba just ends up throwing a blanket around Galinda’s shoulders and making them both a cup of tea, talking out loud as she does, hoping to encourage Galinda to respond. With every clap of thunder, she glances over, but Galinda doesn’t startle or scream or do anything. She winces mildly, but otherwise she just stares at her lap, an odd stiffness to the way she’s holding herself, back straight and shoulders tense.

Elphaba climbs back into bed with both steaming mugs, pulling Galinda around until she’s wrapped in Elphaba’s arms, trying to encourage her to relax. It’s hard for either of them to drink this way, but Elphaba’s hoping the tea and contact will help. She’s so out of her depth here. 

Usually, embraces work for Galinda. This time, she’s stiff as a board, like hugging a statue.

“Drink this,” Elphaba instructs, placing the mug in Galinda’s hands. The blonde just blinks at it for a second before lifting it to her lips and letting out a whisper of sound that sends ripples across the tea’s surface. 

“Yes, Madame.”

Ice shivers down Elphaba’s spine. Thunder booms outside, ominous and telling. Air escapes her, her heart freezing for too many beats and leaving her body aching. She…she heard that wrong, right? Elphaba shakes herself, taking several shaky gulps of air. Of course you did! 

Galinda’s voice had barely been more than a mumble. She probably said yes ma’am, and Elphaba just got it muddled up. The other option is- it’s ridiculous. Elphaba isn’t a Madame. She…she doesn’t even know why Galinda would say that. 

Thoughts spinning, Elphaba wraps both hands around her mug and brings it to her own lips, hoping the soothing chamomile will do the trick for her as well. She hasn’t been sleeping great either these past few days, too caught up in school and dancing and worry. They both could use a rest tonight, and usually, rain is one of Elphaba’s favorite things to fall asleep to. 

By the time their tea has run dry, the storm has moved further away, a more muffled sound that comes several seconds after the flashes of light. Galinda still jerks slightly at each strike, but they’re far enough apart now for Elphaba to realize she’s flinching at the lightning, not the thunder. 

The stiffness bleeds out of Galinda slowly, shivers starting to wrack her frame until she’s trembling in Elphaba’s arms, her breath hitching as awareness filters back in. “El-Elphaba?” she asks. Her eyes, present once more, are shining with tears when they lift to meet Elphaba’s, who sighs in relief and lets her forehead drop down to rest against Galinda’s.

“Hi,” Elphaba says, a rush of whispered air. 

“Hi,” Galinda says back. She reaches out, tangling her fingers in Elphaba’s shirt and shifting closer. Her nose finds the crook of Elphaba’s neck, and Elphaba can feel the soft press of her dry lips as she takes several deep breaths and tries to steady herself. “S-sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Elphaba says. “It’s okay to be scared.”

Galinda lets out a sound frighteningly close to a sob, fingers curling and face pressing closer. Elphaba runs her hand up and down Galinda’s back, feeling the soft wool of her own sweater under her fingers as she tries to ease the trembling of the girl’s body. Several beats pass as Galinda gathers herself. 

“I d-didn’t mean to--”

“Galinda, really, please don’t apologize. All that matters is that you feel better now.” Elphaba pauses, shuffling and nudging until she gets Galinda to show her face. “Do you? Feel better now?”

Galinda’s eyes are teary and she’s nibbling on her lip and she’s still trying to creep closer to Elphaba as though she can sink right into Elphaba’s body. “Yes,” she whispers. It’s tiny and faint, but Elphaba is sure that it is genuine, and she feels a weight lift from her own shoulders. 

She really hadn’t known what she was doing, and she’d just been hoping against hope that she wasn’t making things worse. 

“Good,” she says. She lets Galinda fall back down, adjusting her hold and pulling the blanket up over both of them. She can feel the shakiness of Galinda’s breath, and she lets the girl hide her face again. “You can cry if you need to, Galinda. I’m here for you.”

There’s another choked sob sound, and Galinda shakes her head. Elphaba starts to run her hand through her hair again, knowing the girl enjoys the sensation. “Yes, you can,” Elphaba says. “I’ve got you. I won’t let you cry alone.”

That, if anything, seems to open the floodgates. From one breath to the next, Galinda is suddenly sobbing. Deep, ugly sobs that crack through her chest and coat Elphaba’s shoulder in snot and tears. She doesn’t mind in the slightest, just holding Galinda tighter. 

She had a feeling such a breakdown was coming. She hadn’t expected the storm to be the catalyst, but Elphaba was learning, with every day that passed, that she really didn’t know Galinda as well as she’d thought. Unsure what else to do, Elphaba starts humming lightly, the same tune that Galinda had been mindlessly humming in her ear the other night. 

When she was really little, Elphaba used to sing to baby Nessarose to get her to go to sleep. Soft lullabies, peaceful melodies about the moon and stars and chirping birds. Things that would help a fussy toddler fall into rest. Now, she wipes the rust from her pipes and tries her best to replicate the lilting tune Galinda so enjoyed. 

She repeats it at least twice before the sobs start to lessen. Galinda’s trembling eases up, and slowly, haltingly, another voice starts to join Elphaba. Galinda hums along, eventually taking over when Elphaba gets to the end of what she knows. She keeps her face hidden, but her grip loosens and her body relaxes until they’re just lying cuddled together, breathing in tandem as the rain continues to batter the windows around them. 

When the song finally comes to an end, Galinda sighs, sniffing lightly and bringing a hand between them to wipe at her face. Thunder rumbles in the distance, but she doesn’t even twitch. Elphaba reaches over and manages to snag a handkerchief to give her, and for a moment, silence reigns in the dorm. 

“Better?” Elphaba eventually asks. She gets a nod. Galinda’s breath ghosts over the damp skin of Elphaba’s neck. The sensation tickles, joining the myriad of other signals firing in Elphaba’s brain.

“I’m sorry.”

“I told you, you don’t have to apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

There’s a broken, awful laugh that leaves Galinda’s mouth. She mumbles something faint under her breath before finally pulling back enough for Elphaba to see her face. It’s wrecked by tears, streaky and swollen, but she’s still so beautiful it hurts.

Slim, pale fingers play along the edge of Elphaba’s clavicle, a ghostly touch that makes her skin shiver and her lungs freeze. Galinda stares down at her, something haunted and aching in her eyes, old beyond their possible years.

“You know,” Galinda says, and it’s like she doesn’t even realize she’s speaking. “The first time I ever told someone I loved them was during a thunderstorm.” A devastated smile curves across her face. “I don’t think they realized. It…was a secret.”

I never got to tell them, Galinda had said. Not in a way that matters.

Tell me a secret.

“I’m sorry,” Elphaba whispers, at a loss for what else she can possibly say. Her heart is breaking for the girl in her arms, for more reasons than one.

“It’s okay.” Galinda’s smile widens, artificial and ugly. She looks up at Elphaba again, empty of the life and spark and bubbliness that Elphaba has come to love. There’s not even worry- just…loss. “In the end, I didn’t deserve their love.”

“Wha-- No, don’t say that, Galinda.” Elphaba’s arms tighten, her throat working hard to get words out around the lump that sits in it like a rock. “I don’t know what happened between you, but I know that you’re wrong. E-everyone deserves to be loved.”

It’s something Elphaba has spent a lifetime convincing herself of. One of her greatest fears.

“You don’t understand,” Galinda whispers. “I- I--”

“Shhh,” Elphaba soothes. Galinda has started shaking again, her pulse picking up as she struggles with her words. Elphaba lets her press even closer, burying her face in the curve of Elphaba’s neck, black mixing with blonde as her braids fall over her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Galinda whispers. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, you’re okay.” Elphaba doesn’t even know who Galinda is apologizing to anymore or if the girl just feels the need to say the words. “I’m here.”  

Galinda seems thoroughly out of it now, wrung out and exhausted. Elphaba shifts to the side, intent on turning off the lamp and letting them both just go to bed early, when Galinda lets out a startled whine, grabbing at Elphaba’s arm. 

Her head turns, revealing puffy eyes and a worried frown. “Stay?” Galinda asks, soft and desperate. “Please?”

“Of course,” Elphaba replies. She switches the lamp off, leaving only her lights on the other side of the room on, and then slides back over, pulling Galinda into her arms. She curls around the smaller girl from behind. Her own heart is pounding, her desire to comfort Galinda mixing with her helplessness, her overwhelming love, her bitter sadness, and her unstoppable anger.

She doesn’t even know what she’s angry at, just knows that it’s becoming clearer and clearer that something or someone has hurt Galinda before, has made her the way she is, and Elphaba wants nothing more than to tear it apart. 

Elphaba swallows hard, something sticking in her throat and twisting in her gut. She presses her forehead to the back of Galinda’s neck and resists the urge to scream into the storm, to let its rage wash over her. She doesn’t know how to protect Galinda. She doesn’t know how to help her.  

It’s barely past dinner time, but Galinda is nearly asleep the moment she closes her eyes, hands coming up toward her face as she shuffles until her back is flush to Elphaba’s front, tucked under Elphaba’s chin.

“Stay,” she mumbles again, as though to double-check. 

Elphaba feels a tear of her own drip down her cheek. Her heart feels too heavy for her chest to hold, shoving against her lungs and making it hard to breathe. She tangles her legs with Galinda’s and squeezes her eyes shut, holding on to whatever this moment can give her. 

“Always.”

Chapter Text

Elphaba will never get tired of waking before Galinda. Little blonde hairs glitter like spun sugar in front of her when she blinks her eyes open, and she just- has to pause for a second, letting her feelings wash over her and trying not to sink too far into them because she knows if she lets herself get too deep there will be no going back. 

She will drown in her love for Galinda.

Unable to stop herself, Elphaba reaches out a gentle finger to brush the strands from Galinda’s face but frowns when her fingertips run over a wrinkled brow, slightly warmer than normal. Pulling back, Elphaba takes a closer look and realizes that Galinda’s lips are parted around slightly raspy breaths and her cheeks are flushed. 

Fuck. It’s not like it’s unusual this time of year. The arrival of the first storms of the season almost always coincided with a bout of sickness in the schoolkids back home, and it seems Gillikin is no different in that respect. Elphaba had just really been hoping she and Galinda both would skip succumbing to it. 

“Galinda?” Elphaba whispers. She sits up, letting the sheets pool at her waist. Galinda doesn’t so much as stir- a rather unusual thing since she is typically a light sleeper, rising before Elphaba each day. Elphaba feels a tiny niggle of worry stir in her and quickly shakes her head. She’s fine. A little cold is nothing to be concerned about. Perfectly normal. 

It’s just a coincidence that Galinda was in such a state last night, that’s all. Perhaps she’d even been so emotional because her body was already coming down with something; Elphaba isn’t an expert. 

Elphaba manages to get through her entire--admittedly pretty short--morning routine in the bathroom and make two fresh mugs of tea without Galinda waking. She crawls back into bed carefully, nudging Galinda and calling her name until the younger girl finally wakes. 

“Hey,” Elphaba greets softly. “How are you feeling?”

It takes Galinda a few seconds to answer, her brow furrowing as she wakes slowly and takes stock of herself. “Fine,” she mumbles, an automatic response that Elphaba immediately dismisses. 

“No, really. How are you feeling? I think you’re running a fever.”

“Oh.” Galinda sniffs, blinking a few times and flicking her tongue out to run over chapped lips. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

It’s about as close to a confession as Elphaba is likely to get. She watches something strange pass over Galinda’s face as she chuckles quietly. “Guess history does repeat itself,” she says dryly. 

“What?”

Galinda blinks up at her. “Oh. Just something I’ve heard before. And…well. I was sick the last autumn, too.”

“Ah.” Elphaba nods, slides off the bed to grab the glass of water she’d left on the nightstand. “That makes sense.” Plenty of people tend to get sick with every change of the seasons. 

“Here, drink something. I can run down to the nurse after breakfast and see if they have anything to help bring your temperature down. Do you feel achy? Cold? Stuffed up?”

Galinda groans, sinking back down into the pillows and rolling her eyes. “I feel fine, Elphaba. You don’t need to fuss.”

“You’re not fine, you’re sick.”

“It’s just a little autumn cold. It’ll blow over.” Galinda turns her head to the side, peeking out the window. They’ve slept all the way until morning, thankfully having woken up with plenty of time to get to their first classes. 

“Looks like the storm passed,” Galinda whispers.

Elphaba nods, trying to figure out where Galinda’s mind might be at. “Yeah,” she agrees. “Just a little rain, nothing to worry about.”

Galinda’s eyes close for a moment before she turns back over and looks up at Elphaba. Something soft and sad colors her gaze before she manages to pull her lips into a smile. “Thank you,” she says. “For staying last night.”

“Of course,” Elphaba replies. She finds Galinda’s hand amongst the sheets and grabs hold, giving it a gentle squeeze. It keeps her from reaching out to cup Galinda’s face in her hands, the desire to try and manually wipe the sadness from her expression overwhelming. “I would never leave you.”

She had hoped the words would make Galinda feel better, but the way the girl’s breath catches and her lips tremble is anything but happy. She curls into herself, turning back into the blankets and closing her eyes. 

“Galinda? Hey- are you-- I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine,” comes Galinda’s muffled voice, her face shoved into a pillow. Oz, Elphaba really hates those two words in that order from that mouth. 

“It…it would be okay if you weren’t, you know,” she says cautiously. “You don’t always have to be fine, Galinda.”

There’s a snuffly, muffled sound like a snort. Galinda is still holding Elphaba’s hand, and she gives it a tug, encouraging the other girl to lie back down beside her. Elphaba will take that as a good sign. 

“I’m serious,” she tries again. She lies down gently, rolling onto her side to face Galinda, even though she still can’t see the girl’s face with the way she’s hiding like that. “You can tell me the truth, Galinda. I’m here for you- whatever you need.”

Elphaba doesn’t know how to get the girl to believe her. There’s still this part of Galinda that she feels is holding back. As though there’s still a part of Galinda that doesn’t trust Elphaba. She tries not to let it hurt, but the sting drives straight through to her heart, a piercing sort of wound. 

“I know that,” Galinda says. She shifts enough to reveal one eye, looking at Elphaba as though she knows exactly what’s going on inside her mind. “I promise.”

“Then will you be honest with me? Please?” Elphaba sighs, eyes finding the bedsheets. “I just want to help you, Galinda.” I care about you. 

“I--” Galinda gulps, pale throat bobbing as her eyes shift down to the sheets. “Okay, so I feel kind of sick. But I really am fine, Elphaba. Nothing more than the sniffles.”

Elphaba sighs, but she’ll just have to take what she can get at this point. She knows there’s a lot more she wants Galinda to talk to her about, but it’ll have to be saved for another time because both girls skipped dinner last night, and Elphaba is hungry. 

“Well, come on then. Some food will do you good.”

***

Food, unfortunately, is not something Galinda is particularly excited about, but Elphaba is more than accustomed to that by now. She finds the girl a nice, bland bagel to nibble on at least, conceding that her eating anything when she feels crummy is a win. 

Well. She concedes eventually. 

“No,” Galinda says immediately. She eyes the full plate like it’s nothing short of a bomb, even going so far as to lean away from it like a picky child. Her bottom lip sticks out in a pout. 

Galinda hasn’t truly refused food before. She usually just takes it and then pretends to pick away at it while Elphaba frowns and fusses. Elphaba feels her own gut twist uncomfortably as her suspicion about just how poorly Galinda feels is worsened. 

“Just a few bites, at least? You need the energy to get better, Galinda. You know this.”

“I--” Galinda turns her face away, hiding it in Elphaba’s shoulder instead in a level of intimacy she doesn’t normally get when there are other students around. “I just can’t, Elphaba. Please.”

Elphaba sighs, her resolve snapping like twigs. Galinda’s forehead is warm even through the fabric of Elphaba’s shirt, and she’s not whining in a dramatic or played-up way. Elphaba may not get sick very often, but she’s seen Nessarose sick many times and she also just knows, inherently, that having a fever means feeling like shit. 

She’ll give her a pass just this once. 

“Okay,” she whispers, turning her head just slightly so her lips brush past Galinda’s soft blonde hair. “As long as you eat something, I won’t complain.”

She still gets a pout and a huff, but Galinda sits up and agrees to a bagel, nibbling at it in tiny bird-like bites as she leans against Elphaba’s side. She’s on Elphaba’s right, making it a little hard to move her arm, but Elphaba just shifts her fork to her left hand without a care. 

She wishes she were ambidextrous like Galinda. Being able to write with both hands must be so nice. 

“I guess?” Galinda responds when asked about it. Elphaba brings the topic up to keep the girl’s mind off feeling sickly as they head to class. “But I never write with my left, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“Why not? Is the right easier?”

Galinda shrugs, settling down in her chair beside Elphaba. They have linguification first thing today, so it seems appropriate conversation for the circumstances. They have a paper coming up on the rise of New Ozian as the primary language spoken in Oz following the Wizard’s transition into power. 

“No, just--” Galinda pulls a pen from her satchel and sighs, twirling it around the fingers of her left hand. “Habit, I guess. It’s more proper to write with your right.”

“Oh.” Elphaba tilts her head, contemplating. She’s never heard of that. Then again- it’s not like it was something that often came up in the types of conversation she had with the occasional adult she got to see growing up. Writing with your left would smudge terribly, she assumes. So maybe that is the reason. 

Their linguification professor enters then, clearing her throat to get everyone to stop chatting and pay attention. Elphaba sits up straight, mood brightening. She quite enjoys linguification. They explore history a lot in this class, focusing on the evolution and use of certain languages in different parts of Oz. 

Maybe that’s why it takes her longer than usual to notice Galinda is paying absolutely no attention at all. In fact- she almost looks like she’s falling asleep. Which, while Elphaba would normally be grateful for any rest Galinda gets, class is not the right time for it. She leans over to pinch the girl lightly and jolt her awake, Galinda jerking in her chair and then blushing when she realizes she’s been caught. 

Or is that flush from a fever? Is she getting worse?

“Something to add, Miss Glinda?” Their professor arches a single dark eyebrow, clearly having caught the little moment. Elphaba bites her inner cheek to stop from smirking- that’s definitely a blush. 

“No, ma’am,” Galinda says quickly, ducking her head and pretending to focus hard on her notes. There’s nothing written on the paper in front of her, but Elphaba’s pretty sure she’s the only one close enough to see that. 

Elphaba swallows a snicker and gets back to focusing on the lecture- she can share her notes with Galinda later tonight. She knows the girl is overtired and a bit under the weather, so she’ll let her inattention slide. This time. 

Pfannee and ShenShen, however, have no reason to suspect anything and are thoroughly teasing the blonde as they exit the classroom together. They typically go sit outside between these morning classes, soaking up the sunshine as the day warms up. It’s a bit chilly now that they’re properly into autumn, though, and Galinda is shivering under her light Shiz blazer within minutes. 

“Do you want to move inside?” Elphaba asks softly. She’s got her biology textbook open in her lap, balancing it on one thigh while she scribbles notes onto the pad on the other. 

“Hm? Oh, no, I’m fine.”

“You’re shivering.”

“The breeze is a bit cold. But it feels nice, too.”

Galinda sends Elphaba a smile before looking back down at her own textbook, and Elphaba figures if it were really too cold she’d say something. Trivial little things like that aren’t generally a problem for Galinda to be honest about. In fact, she’d complained plenty dramatically about being too warm before. 

“Well, just let me know. You can have my jacket too if you need.”

“Oh, Elphaba, that’s sweet, but I’m afraid it would not go with this outfit.”

Elphaba laughs, worry lessening a bit. That sounds more like the Galinda she knows and loves. “Sure, sure. If you say so.”

Galinda grins, pushing her hair behind her shoulders and pulling at the lapels of her blazer primly. Her makeup is still pristine, golden hair catching the sun. Both girls settle back down, enjoying the nice weather and peace before they have to return to the classroom. 

The rest of the day follows in much the same manner. It’s a relatively slow and easy day, no major plans or excitement. Galinda is a bit subdued, quieter than normal and barely touching her lunch, but she doesn’t seem to be feeling too poorly. She confesses that she’s just a touch sleepy and wouldn’t mind a nap before dinner. 

Still- Elphaba makes sure to run to the nurse’s suite while Galinda is distracted chatting with Fiyero, leaving her under his supervision while she ducks into the white-walled room and asks for some fever medication. The nurse frowns at her, moving to the cabinet with a quick step. 

“You’re far from the only one here today,” she says, sighing as she selects a small, dark bottle. “Do you have any other symptoms, dearie?”

“Oh, no ma’am, it’s not for me. It’s for my roommate, Galinda.”

The nurse frowns, clearly trying to place the name. Recognition sparks in her gray eyes. “Oh, Miss Glinda, yes.” The frown deepens, and for a moment, Elphaba thinks the nurse will say something, but then she just shakes her head and hands over the medicine. 

“She can take one teaspoon of that every four hours. No more- you understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. Rest is her best friend, and she can take a lukewarm--not hot or cold--bath if her temperature rises. Keep her hydrated and don’t hesitate to come down here if her symptoms worsen.”

“Of course.”

“And- Miss Elphaba?” Here, the nurse holds her gaze, heavy and calm. “You tell Miss Glinda that if there’s anything else she needs, anything at all, she’s more than welcome to come by.”

“I--” Elphaba has to look away, fingers tightening around the bottle in her grasp. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll make sure to tell her.”

I just hope she’ll take it seriously. 

***

By the time Elphaba returns from her short side mission, Galinda looks plenty relieved to be packing up and sliding back over to plant herself at Elphaba’s side. Elphaba shoves the fever tonic into her bag and sends Galinda a quick grin. 

“Last class of the day,” she says brightly, knocking her shoulder against Galinda’s as they head down the hall. She softens a bit when she notices how weary the younger girl looks, her eyes half-lidded and downcast. 

“Hey. Just a little longer and then you can take that nap.”

Galinda nods, but it’s a beat too late, her mouth downturned as she tightens her grip on the books in her hands. Elphaba knows she must feel pretty worn- yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster and then she woke up sick. Not a great combo. 

This time, Elphaba doesn’t tease her for nearly falling asleep in class, her chin dipping and jerking as she fights to stay awake. They had sat far enough to the back that none of Galinda’s friends have noticed, and their math professor thankfully prefers straight lecture over asking questions.

It’s when they’re gathering their books and heading out that Elphaba starts to feel that familiar nugget of worry sharpen. Galinda takes several seconds to realize they’re leaving, and she sways when she gets to her feet, sucking in a sharp hiss of air. Elphaba reaches out to steady her immediately, hands sliding under her elbows as the girl blinks. 

“Galinda?”  

There’s a pause, a shift of weight. “I’m fine,” Galinda whispers, but it comes out breathy and weak. 

Elphaba nibbles on her bottom lip, glancing around at the nearly-empty classroom. There’s no way Galinda will let Elphaba help her back with so many students following the same path to the dorms. The best she can settle for is sliding her arm through the blonde’s, letting her subtly lean on Elphaba as they walk. 

She’s fading fast now that the dorm is nearly within reach, her steps and breathing labored as they climb the spiral staircase. Elphaba takes her books from her, tucking them into her own bag and holding half of Galinda’s weight as they walk.

Galinda nearly collapses onto her bed when they get inside, Elphaba kicking the door shut as the other girl groans and flops onto her back. A soft whine leaves her mouth, her chest rising in falling in rapid shifts. 

“Okay, yeah, you’re not fine,” Elphaba says firmly. She removes her bag and shoes and makes her way over, not even asking before she brushes her palm against Galinda’s forehead. The girl flinches away with a gasp, but Elphaba stays with her, noting with concern how much her temperature has risen since this morning. 

Shit. 

Galinda hadn’t been coughing or sneezing or sniffly. Her cheeks had barely looked flushed. She hadn’t acted sick- just a bit tired, and that was normal. Elphaba had no idea her fever had gotten so bad. When Nessarose felt this hot, she didn’t even leave her bed!

“Galinda, you should’ve said something. How are you actually feeling?”

“Tired,” Galinda groans. She cracks an eye open and pouts up at Elphaba. “Nap with me?”

Elphaba is half-turned away, digging through her bag. “Here,” she says, pulling the bottle out. “This should help bring your temperature down.”

Something sharp and almost panicked flares in Galinda’s eyes as she eyes the medicine, and she shoves herself into a sitting position fast enough to make her head spin, almost crumbling before Elphaba grabs her arms. “No!” she says quickly. “No drugs.”

Her extreme reaction shocks Elphaba into momentary silence, long enough for Galinda to realize and clear her throat with a touch of awkward embarrassment. “I mean- I’d rather not. Have to take anything gross. It really is just a little cold, Elphaba.”

But this close, Elphaba can see what she hasn’t all day. The hazy brightness in Galinda’s eyes, the perspiration on her brow, the shivers that didn’t stop when they came inside. This close, her makeup can’t hide everything, and Elphaba curses herself for not noticing the signs earlier. 

“Sorry, Galinda. Trust me- I know they taste awful. But it’s just one spoonful, and you can wash it down with some tea after.”

“Nooo.” Galinda shifts her tone to something dramatic and whiny, but Elphaba can feel her pulse jumping faster, and she wonders if Galinda is truly scared of taking medicine. Nessarose used to have so many doctor’s visits as a toddler that she’d grown to hate them, screaming at the sight of needles and drugs. 

Maybe Galinda had been sickly as a child? That…honestly wasn’t too farfetched. 

“Please, Elphaba?” Galinda’s bright eyes are wide, her tone soft and beseeching. Elphaba has to look away to steel her resolve.  

“Just one spoonful, Galinda. It’s for your own good, I’m sorry.” When Galinda’s shoulders slump in defeat, Elphaba rubs her hands up and down her arms in a soothing motion. “Hey- this way you can avoid having to go to the nurse if you get worse, yeah? Don’t you want this to go away?”

“I guess,” Galinda grumbles, but she seems to have realized Elphaba isn’t going to let it go. The older girl grabs a spoon from their tea station, pouring the tonic in slowly and wrinkling her nose at the smell. Oh, yeah. She doesn’t blame Galinda for her hesitance in the slightest. 

“Here,” Elphaba says, placing the spoon in Galinda’s hand. “I have water on standby and--” Elphaba holds her hand up with a grin. “An apple button.”

The nurse had slipped her the hard candy in with the tonic, which did not say good things about its flavor, but oh well. Needs must and all that. 

Galinda’s whole face screws up in disgust when she puts the spoon in her mouth, but she manages to swallow without gagging and then gulp down several swallows of water. She opens her mouth--likely to complain--and Elphaba hurriedly sticks the candy on her tongue, the sweetness shocking her into silence. 

“See?” she says, feeling only the tiniest bubble of laughter at the disgruntled look on Galinda’s face as she sucks on her prize. “Not so bad.”

She’s pretty sure it was, in fact, that bad, so she turns away to hide her grin and lets Galinda get settled on her bed, hearing her toss her jacket and shoes aside and grab for the fluffy blanket sitting neatly folded on the end. Elphaba joins her a moment later, giving Galinda’s forehead another check so she has a reference before the medicine takes hold. 

The blonde’s already half-asleep, curling into Elphaba’s side the moment she lies down. Elphaba eyes her still mostly full glass of water, frowning as she thinks about the nurse’s comment on keeping Galinda hydrated. 

“You should probably finish that,” she notes, stretching to reach for it on the nightstand. Galinda whines, grabbing onto Elphaba like an octopus. 

“Stop movinggg,” she scolds. “I’m comfy.”

“But Galinda--”

“I’m not thirsty right now, Elphaba. I’ll drink it later.”

“Fine. I’ll hold you to that. And you’re not skipping dinner, either.”

“Deal,” Galinda mumbles. She shuffles even closer, nose tucking under Elphaba’s arm and legs curling up so her knees bump Elphaba’s thigh. Her body is warm, but not terribly so, and it feels nice in the coolness of their dorm. Eyeing the clock, Elphaba lets herself relax, figuring she might as well nap, too. 

She’s getting far too used to falling asleep like this. Warm, content, and with her favorite person in the world by her side. 

***

This time, Galinda wakes before Elphaba. Not by much, just seconds really, but enough that Elphaba is still blinking blearily as Galinda’s body scrambles across the sheets, thuds to the ground, and stumbles into the bathroom. 

The sound of retching jerks Elphaba to full consciousness, her own body following instinctively the same path across the suite. She hits the doorway and turns the lights on to the sight of Galinda collapsed over the toilet bowl, shaking and panting as she spits a string of saliva into the water below. 

Her skin is deathly pale but for the spots of red high on her cheeks, her body soaked in sweat that Elphaba belatedly realizes has dampened even her own shirt. Under the harsh light, her golden hair looks limp, her eyes have deep bruised circles under them, and her bones push against her skin like angry knives, her thin form barely more than a walking corpse. 

She has never looked so awful in all the time Elphaba’s known her. 

The stark difference between the Galinda from class earlier and the one from now is like seeing night and day. She’s coughing up bile, tears in her eyes, and she can barely catch her breath as she gasps over the toilet. 

“Oh Oz, Galinda.” 

Elphaba surges forward, an intense need to help biting at her skin. She drops to her knees, helping prop Galinda up as the girl all but collapses against her, eyes sliding shut as a harsh almost-sob leaves her mouth. Her lips are chapped, her skin is burning, and Elphaba fights to keep her panic at bay as she tries to think. 

They’d accidentally slept through dinner, and it’s dark enough through the dorm window for Elphaba to know that the nurse will be back at her suite by now, only to be disturbed for emergencies. Is this an emergency? Elphaba’s heart is sure racing like it is. 

Think, Elphaba, think. You know what to do for a fever…right?

“We need to get you hydrated,” Elphaba says. There’s sweat sliding under her palms as she holds on to Galinda with one hand and stretches the other out to flush the toilet. It doesn’t look like much actually came out of Galinda- but the vomiting and sweating together were sure to have drained her of any fluids. 

“And maybe another round of medicine?” She hopes it’s been four hours. Though it doesn’t seem the first round did much to help. 

Elphaba tries to get them off the floor, but Galinda is limp and noodly, her legs shaking and her neck bowed. “N-n-no,” she cries, dazed and weak as she shoves at Elphaba, trying to push away. 

“Hey, hey, easy, Galinda, it’s just me.” She ends up having to scoop the girl into her arms, sitting her down on the now-closed toilet lid. She grabs at the cup she usually uses to rinse her mouth out, filling it quickly and turning back to Galinda. 

“Here, drink this.” Elphaba’s heart is pounding, her own hands shaky as she tries to keep her composure. Internally, though, she’s freaking out. Galinda looks like death warmed over, and she’s mumbling to herself, the fever bringing on a level of confusion that borders on delirium. 

Elphaba puts the cup in her hands and then all but sprints into their room to grab the bottle of medicine and spoon, back in less than ten seconds. Galinda hasn’t drunk anything yet, just staring at the bathroom tile with her lips slightly parted, panting a little like she’s just run a mile and is hot and tired. 

“Alright, take this first,” Elphaba says. She wills her hands to be steady as she pours the tonic, not even noticing the smell this time. Galinda sure does, however, flinching away the moment it comes near her. 

“Here, Galinda.” Elphaba holds the spoon to Galinda’s lips, but the blonde turns away, shrinking back and nearly falling off the toilet. 

“No, no,” she mumbles, eyes fluttering as she tries to keep them open. She locks onto Elphaba, foggy and dazed and unnaturally bright. “Please. Please don’t make me.”

Elphaba swallows hard, breath catching. “It’s just medicine,” she tries again. “The same as earlier. I have water right here for you.” 

Elphaba feels horrible, but Galinda is too weak to fight her as she shoves the spoon in the girl’s mouth the next time she opens it. She knows it’s necessary, and Galinda probably just is confused and doesn’t understand that Elphaba is trying to help. But the blonde’s tears sting at Elphaba’s fingers and make guilt tangle into a black ball in her stomach. 

She has to pause and grip the sink edge for a moment after, catching her breath and pushing against her chest with one hand as if that will ease the ache that’s started to clamp down on her heart. 

“Okay,” she mutters to herself. “Okay, you’re okay, we’ll be okay.”

Maybe if she says it enough times, she’ll start to believe it. 

“Fever,” Elphaba says out loud. She keeps talking to herself because it’s the only thing keeping the panic at bay. “Yes. Okay. Right.” She turns to Galinda. “You’re gonna be okay.”

Except- Galinda doesn’t look okay. Elphaba should’ve known better. She should’ve been smarter. Galinda has barely slept or eaten properly in weeks. Her body doesn’t have the energy to fight off an illness. She’s succumbing fast, the fever taking hold and sweeping over her with a vengeance, leaving her trembling in the bathroom with barely enough strength to hold her own head up. 

What does Elphaba do? Wrap her up to sweat it out? Strip her down and use alcohol rubs? Her eyes flick frantically around the bathroom for an answer and land on the shower and tub. Right, of course. Like the nurse said. 

“Alright, Galinda, we’re gonna fix this, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” They’re both still in their school uniforms, so Elphaba quickly strips them both down to just their underthings, forcing any thought of how much skin is suddenly exposed--on both ends--to the back of her mind. 

She tosses the sweaty clothes in the corner and turns the tub on, checking it several times to make sure it’s not too hot and not too cold. Galinda’s skin is radiating heat, and Elphaba has no way of knowing if she still feels nauseous. She tries to talk to Galinda as they wait impatiently for the tub to fill, pulling both her and the blonde’s hair into buns, but the girl is groggy at best, barely keeping her eyes open and not really processing what’s being said. 

Once the water is deep enough, Elphaba gathers Galinda into her arms, stepping carefully over the tub edge into the cool water. Goosebumps pop up on her flesh as she squats down, carefully slipping a sleepy Glinda into the bath.  

The effect is immediate. The first brush of water on her legs brings a gasp to Galinda’s lips, and then her eyes fly wide open- locking onto Elphaba and filling with a raw, primal fear so wild that it takes Elphaba’s breath away. 

“NO!” 

The shout comes from deep in her chest, ripped from her so violently Elphaba is shocked there’s not bloody shreds left in its wake. Galinda thrashes, feet slamming into the slippery tub bottom as she shoves, hard, at Elphaba’s body, nearly throwing her out of the tub. 

With a cry, Elphaba’s feet slide out from under her, the world tilting and whirling, her back slamming to the tub’s bottom as the bottom half of her head slips almost entirely underwater. A scream rends the air, rattling in Elphaba’s skull. 

“ELPHIE!”

Everything’s a whirl, a flash of color and sound. Something falls, something keens, something curls around her. Brilliant pink lights the room on fire, the water lapping at Elphaba’s eyes evaporates like mist, time seems to freeze, her magic burns, and nothing makes sense, her brain isn’t working, what’s going on, what’s happening, why can’t she move-- 

Awareness slams into Elphaba as she opens her mouth on a gasp, and suddenly, everything speeds way back up. She’s blubbering, sitting up with flailing limbs as she coughs on instinct and sucks in air. She was only under for a second or two, but it felt like so much longer. 

The water, which just moments ago had been deep enough to hit just under Galinda’s chest sitting down, is now nowhere to be found, the tub dried out and the drain still plugged. Elphaba’s magic prickles under her skin like ant bites, itching and stinging and fiery. 

What the fuck did she just do?

She didn’t hit her head. She’s very sure she didn’t hit her head, nothing hurts. But something was-- 

That was--

Hands grab at her body, fingers skidding over emerald skin; Galinda is shaking so hard she’s not getting any air into her lungs. The room is overly bright--there’s still spots fading from Elphaba’s vision--but she can see how frantic and panicked the younger girl looks, her movements jerky and spastic and wrong. 

“Please-- You can’t-- I can’t-- Please.” 

Elphaba shoves all her confusion, all her feelings, into a box and slams the lid. Galinda is bleeding- blood dripping from her nose and staining her lips. Elphaba must have smacked her or something when she fell. Her brown eyes aren’t focused on anything, Elphaba not even sure if the girl sees her right now. 

“Hey, hey, breathe, calm down, I’m fine, Galinda, breathe!” Elphaba knows she doesn’t sound very calm herself, but everything’s happening so fast, and it’s all so confusing, and the girl in front of her is a complete and total mess, almost clawing at Elphaba’s bare skin. She grabs her wrists to get her to stop, sitting up more as Galinda falls onto her legs. 

“Just breathe. I’m okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.”

Galinda shudders in Elphaba’s hold, their legs tangled together on the bottom of the tub, her chest heaving with wheezy breaths. Her eyes are staring, horrified, at Elphaba. Through Elphaba. So far beyond Elphaba that the older girl knows Galinda isn’t even in the room anymore. 

“You-- You--”

“Easy.” Elphaba shifts, getting a better hold of the girl as she tries to calm her pulse and figure this out. 

“You’re-- She-- The water--”

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m sorry, I should’ve warned you before I set you down.” 

Galinda breaks forward with a sob, sliding closer to Elphaba and planting both hands on her shoulders to keep from falling into her. Her chest quakes and quivers, coughs and sobs and choking whimpers that sound painful and broken and heartwrenching. 

“Oh, Galinda, please don’t cry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Elphaba slides her hands up and down Galinda’s back, feeling every bump of her spine as the girl bows forward, tears dripping off her nose. Guilt flares hot and hard, and Elphaba can barely breathe around its weight. 

“I-I-I ca-n’t--” 

“Shhhh.”

“I c-can’t do this.” 

“I know, Galinda, I know being sick feels terrible; I’m so sorry.”

Galinda shakes her head, then again, then again. Sticky eyelids part so those glistening brown orbs can find Elphaba. “I-I thought, I thought y-you were--” The tips of her fingers dig into Elphaba’s shoulders. Elphaba can count every rib with each inhale.

“I’m okay,” Elphaba says softly. “I didn’t get hurt. Just breathe.”

She takes her own calming, deep breaths, guiding the younger girl to follow along. She starts to settle somewhat, ground herself, the rush of magic and confusion and chaos fading. 

Galinda shuts her eyes and presses her forehead to Elphaba’s, close enough to see the way the tears stick to each individual eyelash. She’s sat straddling Elphaba’s lap, nothing but their underwear keeping them apart. Elphaba really shouldn’t be thinking about that in this moment, but she hopes Galinda keeps her eyes closed so she can’t see Elphaba’s growing blush. 

Even sticky with sweat and shaking with panic, Galinda makes Elphaba’s head spin in ways she can’t quite keep contained to that locked box of feelings. 

“I don’t understand,” Galinda whispers. “You- you’re not burned?”

Elphaba pulls back a little just out of sheer confusion. “Burned? No, no, of course not.”

She mulls that over for a second and remembers the flash of heat from her magic earlier. Did Galinda feel that? Is that what she means? Something removed all that water, so maybe Elphaba’s magic had made it hot enough to evaporate?

Elphaba also knows fever can bring delirium and confusion. Nessarose only got that bad once, but it’s not unheard of. Galinda may just be sick and confused and a bit scared by the sudden water and Elphaba’s fall and subsequent burst of magic. 

“I promise, I’m fine, Galinda. Truly.” Elphaba gives in to her urge and presses a light kiss to Galinda’s wrinkled forehead, watching as it smooths out as those doe eyes widen. “Do you want to try again now? You’re still much too warm.”

Galinda’s head swings back to look at the faucet, pushing her body even closer to Elphaba’s chest as her hips land almost flush to Elphaba’s stomach. Elphaba feels like her skin is burning for a whole different reason now, despite the circumstances warranting anything but arousal. 

She’s just…aware. Very aware. 

“I-- But what if--”

Galinda looks so confused. Elphaba has to grab her hand to keep her from picking at her skin, tangling their fingers together and running her thumb over pale knuckles. “It’s okay.” Those words are starting to almost lose meaning, she’s said them so many times. 

Galinda’s brow is knit as she shakes her head, but she seems torn, conflicted, her frown deepening as she seems to contemplate something serious. Slowly, she reaches behind her and turns on the faucet, a bit of cool water flowing out that Galinda jerks back from, jumpy and frightened. 

To help make her point, Elphaba sticks her foot under the faucet, noting the temperature as it slowly warms back up. “See?” she says, taking in the way Galinda had gone stiff as a board and her hand had tightened into a punishing grip. “It’s just water.”

Galinda nods, then again, then again. “J-just water,” she repeats, a haunting sort of breathiness to her voice. She turns back to face Elphaba, gaze roving over Elphaba’s body in a way that is not helping ease her blush. “Just…water.”

“Right. We’re okay, Galinda. We’re gonna get you cooled down, and you’ll feel much better.”

Galinda still seems to be stuck, though. She blinks once. “What if it…wasn’t…just water.” She’s muttering under her breath, pulling her hand out of Elphaba’s in order to run across the girl’s clavicle, trailing down her side in a way that is both ticklish and distracting. 

“Mmhm,” Elphaba hums, testing the water again and adjusting it slightly. She’s pretty sure Galinda’s is lost to her fever, but that’s okay. She’ll get her cleaned up and cooled down, and then hopefully by then the medicine will have kicked in fully. 

Elphaba can do this. She is not panicking. She is not freaking out. She is staying composed and calm and capable because that is what Galinda needs right now. 

The tub fills slowly, lapping at the girl’s legs. Galinda has quieted, playing with the edge of Elphaba’s bra strap in a mindless stimming motion that Elphaba is very sure she isn’t aware of. She wonders if Galinda will feel embarrassed by all of this tomorrow. Even for friends, even disregarding the feelings that strain against that locked box, the moment feels oddly intimate. 

Elphaba ends up sliding Galinda off her lap so she’s in the water properly, Galinda whining and flailing just a little as she sinks down, pouting at the cold. It’s lukewarm, which feels cool even to Elphaba, let alone Galinda’s overheated skin. Her absence has Elphaba’s skin pebbling with goosebumps as she shifts, and the air hits spots that were once pressed against soft heat. 

Galinda stays pliant and quiet as Elphaba gently washes her clean, scrubbing the salty sweat from her skin with rose-scented soap. Any sort of those thoughts flee quickly in the face of Galinda’s body condition, Elphaba noting as she goes the sharp, brittle edge of bones under thin skin and the dark lines of Galinda’s veins. 

Galinda is the most beautiful person Elphaba’s ever met, but in this moment, she looks too sickly to admire. 

Elphaba is shivering as she exits the tub, careful of the ledge as she guides Galinda over. She dries them off quickly, pulling Galinda’s arms through her favorite fluffy robe and then turning her back and hoping she can get her underthings off herself. The quiet intimacy of the bathroom surrounds them even as they exit, Elphaba eyeing the rumpled mess of Galinda’s sheets and sighing softly. 

“Come on,” she says, changing course and bringing them both to her bed instead. It’s not as large or plush, but Galinda takes up little space, and it’ll do until Elphaba can get the sheets cleaned on the other one. They seem to just know how to fit together by this point, snuggling down under the covers. 

Galinda rolls herself right up under Elphaba’s chin, fingers once again playing along the edge of Elphaba’s clothes, this time the collar of her robe. Elphaba lays a palm across Galinda’s forehead and notes happily that her temperature seems to have perhaps gone down a little and her eyes are a little clearer, a little more present. 

It’s only then that Elphaba feels herself relax a little, the tension unwinding from her shoulders after the stress that followed waking up to the sound of Galinda retching. “You’re going to give me grey hairs before I’m twenty-five,” she teases Galinda, poking her gently on the tip of her nose. She’s glad to have left the panic behind them.

Galinda smiles, wobbly and small, but genuine in a way that makes a dimple poke out on one side. “You would be beautiful regardless,” she whispers back. Her voice is a little clogged and rough, like she’s still got tears stuck somewhere in her throat. 

Elphaba feels something warm flutter behind her heart and can’t help the way her smile stretches into something dopey and wide. “Oh yeah?” she says. “Will you help me style it?”

Galinda giggles, shifting slightly, but there’s an almost melancholic gleam in her eyes that is there and gone in a second. “I would love to be there for you when you’re twenty-five,” she whispers.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

There’s something about the moment, something that stretches like taffy- sweet and slow. Elphaba savors it, holding onto it for as long as she can. She brushes soft fingertips over Galinda’s cheeks, letting her thumb bump against that little dimple until it gets a giggle that sounds like song. 

“Hey, Galinda?” Elphaba asks. “Tell me a secret.”

There’s a long pause after her words, followed by a gentle sigh. Galinda looks up at Elphaba, her eyes big and soft and endlessly deep. “History repeats itself,” Galinda says, words echoing from earlier. “That’s what I’ve always been told. But- but sometimes, you can change it.”

Galinda sucks in a sharp inhale, eyes flicking down to Elphaba’s lips then back up. Something like regret passes over her face as she lets herself sink forward, hiding her face in Elphaba’s chest. Her next words are so quiet, Elphaba has to strain to hear them. 

“If only you are brave enough to try.”

Chapter Text

It’s the grief that kills her. 

Glinda had been drowning in it, overwhelmed by the feeling of loss. She’d woken every night with a scream on her lips, the walls of her room shaking with the weight of the deaths that clung to her. Fiyero. Nessarose. Elphaba. 

She’d haunted the palace like the ghosts she was searching for, wandering the halls late at night and learning how to avoid the guards employed to keep her safe. In the morning, she would fix her hair and apply her makeup and don a mask that was impossible to see through, her magic ensuring not a single hair or lash was ever out of place. 

But at night, she’d let her feet take her to the western balcony, stepping out into the cold night air and turning her face to the stars. Only the moon was witness to her grief. Only the moon was allowed to see the great Glinda the Good fall apart. 

Only the moon knew Glinda had lost her north star, left to drift aimlessly through life, never knowing where she was going or how she would get there. 

At some point, Glinda had started using those nights to try to read the Grimmerie. The confusifying book hated her; she could feel it. It trembled in her grasp, the strange symbols warped and waving, swirling across the pages until they were an incomprehensible soup. 

She knew she would never be able to use it, no matter how much her magic progressed. She had no idea why Elphaba had given it to her, but she couldn’t quite help the way she was drawn to it. Sometimes, Glinda’s fingers would trace the glittering lines of feathers on that one particular page, her body curled over her lap and dripping salty tears onto the shimmering symbols. 

“I miss you,” she would whisper. “I need you.”

The bags under Glinda’s eyes got darker, her waist got slimmer, her bones grew heavier and heavier. It took every effort just to get out of bed in the morning, some days feeling as though a massive weight were tied to her chest, keeping her pinned, pushing her down. She couldn’t eat, barely slept. 

Glinda was dying, and she knew it. And there was a part of her that just didn’t care. 

I’ll see you soon, she’d often think to herself. It was the only thought that gave her any relief. 

***

The years slipped past, and Glinda knew she was doing good things, things She had wanted. Oz had never looked better, the emerald streets full of happy citizens, human and Animal alike. The Council she’d arranged grew stronger, more confident, more independent. Her magic had continued to blossom, becoming easier and easier to call upon. 

Glinda had pondered that at times. That core of molten energy she had finally learned how to tap. The simple five-letter word--witch--she’d tacked onto the end of her title. The shiver of time in her grasp and the weight of the wind at her back. 

Once upon a time, life had been too easy for Glinda to understand such things. 

The spells she liked to cast were simple, nothing more than a touch of convenience. Blowing out the candles from her bed. Tying up the ribbons on her corset. Maintaining the carefully curated look she showed the public.

It all became second nature. Meetings and speeches and paperwork. Negotiations and discussions and announcements. Not sleeping and not eating and not talking to people. Glinda kept herself going, one step at a time, trudging along on a mix of duty and routine, pulled by the weight of a promise. 

Meanwhile, she counted down the days in her head, waiting for when she could finally rest. 

***

Glinda had started staying out of the spotlight more and more, locking herself in her room and letting herself take to the bottle to drown out the clamor in her head. She’d known it was a bad habit, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Just another way she’d been letting herself self-destruct. 

There was a small black band she took to wearing around her wrist, still there even years after she should’ve moved on. Glinda would often pick at it, snapping it against her skin, desperate to feel something. And in the darkness of night, when no one else could see, she sometimes found herself clutching an old fabric hat to her chest, breathing in the fading scent of home. 

Home. Glinda wanted to go home. 

Time was such a finicky thing, mysterious and strange. Glinda had stopped keeping track, couldn’t tell how many hours passed as she lay awake at night or how many months slipped by between one celebration and the next. She wore ballgown after ballgown, her hair set in perfect golden curls, her smile as gorgeous as ever-- but Glinda rarely remembered the outings. 

She spent her days floating in a foggy haze, sometimes blinking at the wall and realizing that she’d lost entire chunks of time, of memory, of life. It didn’t bother her much. It wasn’t like she’d wanted to be there. It was that she hadn’t had a choice.

Glinda had made a promise. 

It was one she would remind herself of, late at night when she knew no one was watching. When she knew no one would question the way her hands traced reverently over the worn brim of that stupid, stupid black hat, heavy with the weight of truths Glinda had sworn to never reveal. 

It ate at her, bit by bit, until Glinda’s glamour had to cover more than just her bruised eyes, until no one was allowed to see the way she’d been so wholly consumed by her own regrets. 

Hide yourself, She had said.

Glinda hadn’t realized how true those words would be. 

***

A breeze had stirred the pages of the Grimmerie late one lonely night, Glinda’s magic sparking at her fingertips as she flipped mindlessly through the tome. She’d been spending more and more time with the book, looking inside it for answers to questions she didn’t even know how to ask. 

Gentle fingers slid between ancient pieces of parchment. Salty tears dripped down pale cheeks, turning to glittering diamonds above symbols that finally stayed perfectly still. 

Symbols she could swear almost looked like a language. 

“I want to go home,” Glinda had whispered, watery eyes locked on those lines. Over and over, she’d started chanting it like a prayer. 

She was so tired. She was so lonely. 

She was fading, wasting away, no longer able to remember how to laugh or how to pull her lips into a smile. She was a desolate shadow of her former self, hiding away from the crowds these days lest they start to see through her mask.

Glinda had been ready to die. She had wanted it. 

“Please,” she’d cried. 

Her mumbles and pleas had started to meld together, turning into something else, something other. They’d rung through the air, shivering and bold, golden and sparkling and magical. Pain exploded behind Glinda’s eyes, deep in her chest, low in her gut. Pain filled her, swarmed her, overwhelmed her, forced her mouth open in a soundless scream.

She had embraced it. Fell willingly into its hold. Thought to herself, as her very cells boiled and burned and crumbled into ash: finally. 

Finally. 

Glinda was dying. Glinda was going home. 

***

When Glinda blinks her eyes back open, an act she fully hadn’t expected to make, the first thing she sees is pink. 

It takes her a few minutes to realize where she is. When she is. What that means. It takes her the better part of the boat ride to figure out what the hell she’s going to do about it. It takes her seeing the archway entrance to Shiz to finally make up her mind. 

There’s a weight on her chest that threatens to break her. Her head is stuffed with cotton, her tongue too thick for her mouth, her palms sweaty and shaking. In just a few moments, Glinda will see her again. 

Elphaba Thropp. The love of her life. 

She tries to prepare herself for it. Don’t spook her, she warns in her head. Don’t hug her, don’t cry, don’t do a thing that will clue anyone in. Glinda doesn’t know the rules. She doesn’t know how or why she is here. But she’s smart enough to know not to let this opportunity be wasted. 

If this is her one shot, her only chance at redemption, she’s going to make it count. Her trembling hands curl into fists, determination pushing at the anxiety in her chest. She will make it count. 

It was Glinda’s love that killed Elphaba the first time around. And now, it will be Glinda’s love that saves her. 

***

History repeats itself. 

That’s what they always say. Well--

Not this time. 

***

Glinda thinks things are going fairly well. All things considered. 

Sure, she’d had just about the worst panic attack of her life the morning she woke up back in Frottica. And sure, she’d almost had another that same night, hiding in the bathroom with a ghost on the other side of the door. She’d turned the shower on to hide her sobbing breaths, leaning her forehead against the tiled wall and trying to pull herself together. 

She didn’t know what she was doing. 

She couldn’t afford to mess up. 

Thankfully, Glinda was an old pro at faking it till you make it, and it hadn’t taken her all that long to get things going again. Shiz is a kaleidoscope of smells and sights and sounds that Glinda hasn’t thought about in years. It’s a bit of a head rush, washing over her and making the world a little too bright and a little too loud. She lets it help shape this new mask she dons, crafting it to fit the circumstances, relearning how to toss her hair over her shoulder like long forgotten muscle memory. 

ShenShen and Pfannee are a godsend for that, able to take all the fractured, frantic parts of Glinda and push them into place. Glinda is grateful for them, fake as they sometimes were, because at the end of the day, she needs them for this to work. She needs everyone for this to work. 

Glinda starts planting seeds immediately, introducing Elphaba to the other students with a bright grin, firmly stating that she’s Glinda’s roommate and friend . She sits with her at lunch, she walks with her in the hallways, and she shows her all of her favorite places in school. 

It’s almost impressive how much Glinda remembers. Things she wouldn't have been able to bring to mind if she had been asked prior to her death return, but that within just days, hours really, of arrival are so easy to find in the back of her head. Names, faces, places. The taste of Elphaba’s favorite tea, the warmth of the morning sun on her face, the sound of another person shuffling awake across the room. 

Every awakened memory sends a pang of grief and pain through Glinda’s heart, and it nearly steals her breath away each time she catches sight of green in the corner of her eye. She keeps having to stop from just launching herself at Elphaba and never letting go. Her mind can’t handle the weight of how much she misses Elphie with the knowledge that there is, in some way, a version of her sitting just a few desks over. 

She tries so hard to be normal. It’s easy in front of her old friends. It doesn’t feel too different from being Glinda the Good, steering the student body through the social maze to catch the cheese she has waiting for them. She’s good at that part. She can handle the popularity stuff. 

It’s Elphaba that she struggles with. 

Elphaba, who walks and talks and glares at Glinda like a vision straight out of her nightmares. Elphaba, who spends so much time next to her sister, a face that Glinda can’t even look at. Can’t even think about. Can’t even mouth the syllables of her name without feeling bile climb her throat.  

Elphaba, who, in Glinda’s head, is still dead. 

To Glinda, the students are just people she hadn’t seen in a while, old friends that she can fall back into familiar patterns with. But Elphaba? Elphaba is a ghost. Elphaba is the living manifestation of all of Glinda’s greatest regrets. Elphaba is dead, and Glinda can’t quite seem to forget it. 

Every time the girl leaves the room, there’s a panic that washes over Glinda, a terror that digs roots in her chest and squeezes her lungs until she’s shaking out of her skin, desperate to find the other girl. It’s awful. She’d thought losing Elphaba was the hardest thing she would ever face in her life, but this? Having to look at her, talk to her, hear her voice, and know, deep down, that this isn’t her Elphie? 

Glinda had thought, on the boat ride over, that this was the universe giving her a second chance. A gift. Now she knows better. This isn’t Glinda’s wish come true. Not at all. This is Glinda’s punishment. 

Her own personal version of hell. 

Forcing her to interact with an Elphaba who doesn’t know her. Doesn’t love her. Doesn’t even care for her at all. An Elphaba who still hangs on Morrible’s every word. An Elphaba who isn’t afraid to yell in Glinda’s face. An Elphaba who still shrinks under the gazes of her fellow students and looks at her own reflection with disgust. 

It is Glinda’s punishment to have to be here. To have to do it all over again. To have to know, deep down, that if she cannot fix it, if she cannot get it right, she will be doomed to watch Elphaba die. Again. 

So. All things considered. Glinda thinks it’s going fairly well. 

***

Glinda doesn’t know how to handle the Morrible problem. She doesn’t know how to convince Elphaba to stay away from the sorceress, and she has no proof at this point to give to Elphaba. It’s a whole lot of “trust me” without Glinda actually giving Elphaba any reason to do so.  

And why would she? Elphie never had.

It doesn’t help that just thinking of Morrible fills Glinda with enough fear to silence any words before they leave her mouth. That moment she’d slid between the two of them in the courtyard, her heart in her throat at the sight of Morrible approaching young Elphaba, had almost made her collapse on the spot. 

She’d been terrified, the sting of lightning across her skin flooding her senses until she could barely breathe. Every time Glinda spots Morrible in the halls or sees her approach Elphaba, the panic has her magic almost spazzing out of control, and she has to work extra hard to keep it under wraps, clutching at her books and hoping no one notices the way the colors shift under her hands and the pages flutter on an impossible breeze. 

When Elphaba snaps and yells at her, shouting “shut up!” right in her face, there’s a moment, just a single moment, where Glinda can almost swear it’s someone else looming over her. A different tall shadow, a different crack of magic through the air. It freezes every bone in her body, her breath escaping her as she jerks away. 

The sound of shattered glass echoes in her ears, the soundtrack of her nightmares, the background music to all of Glinda’s worst and best and most regretful memories. 

Glinda barely escapes before Elphaba can see her full breakdown. The poor girl is guilty enough, even apologizes right away despite this being Glinda’s problem. Glinda is the one who can’t handle the slightest confrontation anymore. The last thing she wants is to add any additional burdens to Elphaba’s shoulders. 

Glinda stays in the bathroom until she can breathe without wheezing and the world stops blurring and tilting. Elphaba is gone when she finally exits again, so Glinda slips out of the dorm and hastens off to a nook she’d found all those years ago. Somewhere private she can curl into a ball and try to staple the pieces of herself back into workable shape. 

It takes her longer than expected. What ragged strips of self Glinda still possesses are worn and thin and liable to crumble at the slightest touch. They fray at the edges, revealing the dull, shattered shards of a broken doll beneath what should be a shining mask. 

What has to be. 

Glinda has spent so many years crafting it. So many years pretending. 

She can’t afford to have it fall apart now. Not when she needs it most. 

***

Since Elphaba is clearly going to be…difficult…Glinda decides to start with the students. Gullible, soft, eager to please. These are people who are much easier to sway. Glinda makes herself a shining light, a beacon that draws everyone to her, the students falling over themselves to invite her to various events and social gatherings. She says yes to every single one, meticulously filling out her calendar. 

Planning and socializing let her pretend she’s doing better than she truly is. Let her pretend that she’s getting a good night’s sleep and eating full meals and not having mini breakdowns in the shower nearly every day. They’re a good distraction, and they’re necessary to her plan. 

Glinda sinks into the familiarity of her old yet new mask, hoping it will help cover the way her heart races and her chest buzzes with a constant thrum of anxiety. Every second feels like the tick of a bomb, like watching a timer count down, closer and closer to the end. She feels like she’s racing time. Like she’s racing fate. 

Trying to do something impossible. 

“Are you okay?” Elphaba asks one night. Glinda jerks her head up, startled and pleased. 

She and Elphaba had been…getting better. She thinks. It’s hard to tell, really, when just being in the girl’s presence is so overwhelming. A part of Glinda wants to throw herself at Elphaba, wants to wrap herself around the taller girl and hold on tight and never let go. But another part wants to run far, far away. 

That part of her that can barely stand to look at Elphaba without feeling like her soul is cracking in half. That part of her that still hears her screams every night. That part of her that feels like she’s drowning in a million emotions she can’t even begin to name because 

none of this makes sense. 

Elphaba died. Elphaba melted. Glinda had heard every agonizing, painful second. And then she’d spent years, years, trying to fulfill the one thing Elphaba had asked of her. Her dying wish. 

So why is she here?

What had she done to deserve this?

Is this a punishment? A gift? Neither?

This Elphaba is different from the one Glinda remembers. Just slightly. Just enough to make Glinda’s head spin. 

She uses the same shampoo from their youth, but her scent still registers as off to Glinda despite the notes of familiarity being dredged up from the depths of her memories. It makes it slightly unsettling, like this is truly someone else. Not her Elphie. Not the Elphie whose hat she’s spent so many years clutching close, breathing in the notes of parchment and Quoxwood that still clung to the fabric, preserved by a simple spell. 

The hat is what Elphie had smelled like when she…when she was the Wicked Witch. The same as when Glinda had buried her nose in Elphie’s neck just moments before the worst minutes of her life. 

This Elphaba…it just isn’t the same. Pleasant and faintly familiar, yes, but not-- not what she’d expected. It just makes it even clearer that this is someone else, someone different, someone who is not and never will be hers. 

It’s…probably best that way. Really. 

Glinda would be wise not to get too attached. 

Glinda has never been very wise. 

“Galinda?” 

Glinda blinks, pulling herself back to the present. Present? Don’t start again. 

“Yeah?”

“Are-- Well, never mind. You just seem…distracted.” 

“Oh.” Glinda looks down at her desk. Right, she’d been doing homework. Well. She’d been cheating on her homework– just a bit. 

Not like it mattered. Technically, she’d done all this work before. 

“Just daydreaming,” she responds. She sends Elphaba a quick smile, a burst of warmth making it more genuine than usual as she processes the fact that Elphaba must be asking because she cares. Even though Glinda knows Elphaba shouldn’t, even though Glinda knows she doesn’t deserve it, she can’t help the way it makes her feel. 

Even after all this time…Glinda’s heart is still such a stupid organ. 

***

Muscle memory. That’s how Glinda likes to think of it. Being a student again…it’s just muscle memory. Classes and lunches and homework and friends. Everything just the way it was. Except--

“Hey,” Elphaba says, stopping just outside the classroom door. “Do you want to sit with me in class today?”

Not everything. 

“Of course!” Glinda answers quickly, all but beaming at Elphaba. Too quickly, she chastises herself, a blush coloring her cheeks as she clears her throat and ducks her head. Elphaba usually sat with her sister, somewhere near the front of the room, while Glinda sat in the back. 

This time, they make their way into the classroom together, Glinda picking a seat near Elphaba and leaving Pfannee and ShenShen to sit by themselves behind her. Glinda feels a swell of fondness dampen her eyes when Elphaba adjusts all her things on top of her desk and wiggles excitedly in her chair, glancing at the door with bright anticipation. 

It’s those little things she’d nearly forgotten. The way Elphaba’s eyes look when she’s excited. When she’s happy. When she’s frustrated or bored or annoyed. Glinda had tried, over and over she’d tried, using every medium available from paint to pen, but--

She could never get her eyes right. She could never fully capture how much life they held. 

Glinda has to look away, taking a deep breath to steady herself, to fight against the rush of grief. She-- Oz, but she misses Elphie. 

A punishment or a gift? Glinda thinks she knows the answer. 

Seeing Dr. Dillamond again almost does her in, the grief getting compounded by an extra dose of guilt. Glinda goes from excited and fond to sad and guilty in such a rush it has her stomach swooping, each emotion tearing at her heart, leaving it wounded and sore. 

She has to wonder how long it will be able to handle this. 

Just long enough, she thinks. It has to hold out just…long enough. 

“Oz, look at him,” Glinda suddenly hears from behind her. Not ShenShen- but another girl she knows, snickering with her friends. “My mom said Shiz was going downhill, you know. Now they’ve got us learning from dirty old goats.” 

Anger flashes over Glinda, almost immediately followed by shame. Because once upon a time, she’d been just like this girl. Once upon a time, she’d treated Dr. Dillamond so horribly. 

Well-

Not this time. 

The students are so mindless. A few cheery sentences and they’re nodding along, even trying to backtrack to reassure Glinda that they didn’t mean it like that. Of course they respect Dr. Dillamond, they were just joking. 

She can feel Elphaba’s eyes burning into her back, and it’s childish, childish in a way that Glinda isn’t anymore, not really, but she hopes the other girl approves. She grins nervously as she turns back around, butterflies churning in her stomach as Dillamond calls for the class to settle. 

“Is there anything else you’d like to add, Miss Gg-llllinda?” 

A round of snickers meets the professor’s attempt at her name, and Glinda finds that same sort of grief-stricken fondness from earlier crash into her. Her response is hasty and ill-prepared, a sudden gesture of goodwill that she almost takes back, almost thinks it's too early, but--

She’s been Glinda for so long. So many years. And she’s embraced it, enjoyed it even. Galinda had been someone young and naive. Glinda was who she was when she learned the truth. Glinda was the goodness she had promised to achieve. Glinda was who she was when she loved and when she lost and when she learned so much. Glinda was someone she’d become proud to be. 

Yet later that same evening, when Elphaba asks if she should call her that, something wild cracks behind Glinda’s ribs, and she finds herself wanting nothing less. She licks her lips, trying to wrangle her feelings under control. Her mind flashes with images, old memories she’s tried desperately to bury. Roses and rowboats and dresses colored like sunset. Whispers and secrets and a laugh that could light a whole room. 

She likes it when Elphaba calls her Galinda. It reminds her of a time when she still believed in love and happy endings. When she still had hope. So--

“You can call me Galinda,” she says. 

And Elphaba grins in response, winking in a way that makes Glinda’s heart do somersaults. “Well, that is your name,” she says, and Glinda can’t stop herself from laughing out loud. Warmth bursts in her chest, a bubbling delight that she’d almost forgotten the feeling of. 

History repeats itself. She had heard that for the first time this very same day, hadn’t she? Glinda supposes, in some cases, that isn’t such a bad thing.

***

As the second week gets into full swing, and the students get settled enough to start making serious plans about social events and city outings and fundraisers and clubs and networking-- Glinda finds herself thinking she may truly have a chance at this. 

Glinda may not know what to do about Morrible, she may not know how to think around Elphaba, but she does know how to handle the students at Shiz. They’re malleable, impressionable. They listen with eager ears, happy to follow Glinda's example when she tells them what to do and who to like. 

After Elphaba reveals some of them have still been on the fence, still dropping mean comments in the hallway as Elphaba passes by, Glinda doubles her efforts to ensure that everyone understands that Elphaba is off limits. But she doesn’t just want them to stop being rude because she told them to. She wants them to be nice because they see that Elphaba is someone worth being nice to. 

The latter takes more effort than the first, but not too much to be impossible. It just takes dropping the right stories, the right hints, the right clues. The right words in the right order to make people see that Elphaba is just like any one of them. That her green skin really isn’t any weirder than a bad case of acne or a strange birthmark or an unfortunate case of frizzy hair. 

Things that are simple and real and understandable to a group of ignorant elites. It’s not something she asked for; it’s just something she was born with. But it doesn’t change who she is as a person. A little nerdy, a little sarcastic. A lot fucking talented. 

Like Morrible. Isn’t Morrible respected? Isn’t Morrible liked? Not feared for her magic, no, never. Elphaba could be the star of Shiz, another sorcerer that could make it all the way to the Wizard. 

His name tastes sour on her tongue, but Glinda can see it working. Can see the way their perspective shifts as they listen to her words and watch Morrible praise Elphaba. Can see them accepting that, perhaps, their initial impression was wrong. 

It hurts, just a little, realizing how easy it would have been. How easy Elphaba’s initial weeks at Shiz could have been, if only Glinda hadn’t been such an utter horror when they first met. How stupid she had been. How cruel and immature and ignorant. 

Well, Glinda thinks to herself, resolve hardening by the hour. Not this time. 

This time, Glinda is going to do everything right. 

Even if it kills her. 

Especially if it kills her. 

***

The end of the week comes with one of the most important evenings of Glinda’s life. Or- that’s how it had felt the first time she’d attended. It still feels important now, but it’s for an entirely different reason.

Last time, it had been all about Glinda. All about the kind of impressions Glinda could make. Now, it would be all about the kind of impressions she could get Elphaba to make.

It makes her nervous. More than usual, that is. She barely gets a lick of sleep (not that that’s unusual) and is up even earlier than normal, fixing up their room and trying to pick a dress for that night. Elphaba keeps watching her out of the corner of her eye, and she can’t help but think about what this day means to her as well.

The end of the week means sorcery seminar. It means Morrible.

How is she supposed to explain it? How can she keep Elphaba away, keep her from falling so deep into Morrible’s grasp, without setting off Elphaba’s suspicions?

Is it even worth trying again after how terribly last time went?

“I just…think you should be careful around her,” she goes with. “She, um, she gives me a bad feeling. That’s all.”

It’s definitely not…her best argument. And it’s clearly not persuading Elphaba.

“A ‘bad feeling?’ Galinda, don’t be--”

“ Please, Elphaba.” Glinda feels her mouth stumble over the name, the syllables both familiar and not. It’s funny- she never really said Elphaba’s full name very often. Back when they still loathed each other, she used mean nicknames more than anything. And then- she was just Elphie.

Always Elphie.

Until the day when Glinda stopped being able to say her name out loud at all.

Tears sting at Glinda’s eyes despite her best efforts to stop them. Desperation swirls in her chest, a cloying sort of fear making her hands tremble as she tries, somehow, to get Elphaba to realize that she is serious. That she’s not jealous or petty or pulling a prank.

Not that I can blame her for thinking that.

Elphaba sighs, a frown pulling at her lips. “Can you at least tell me why you feel that way?” she asks.

It’s the expected question. But that doesn’t make it any less impossible to answer.

Glinda searches her mind for some way around it, frustration mixing with panic as Elphaba gets less patient by the second. Eventually, out of options and losing control, she blurts out: “Well, maybe I just know her better!”

Shit.

Glinda hides her internal cringe with a tilt of her head, thinking on her feet to cover herself up. She does know Morrible better, but it’s not like she can tell Elphaba why or how. So-

“Did you even know of Morrible before you got to Shiz?” she asks. There’s a tiny pause after her question, and Glinda finds herself genuinely curious to hear the answer. She…never actually asked Elphie that. The first time round, that is.

But the look this Elphaba gives her is drier than the Impassable Desert. “Did I, the magic-wielding social outcast who loves to read and study history, know of the most famous and powerful sorceress to come out of Oz in the past five decades?”

…oh. Well.

Now Glinda just feels stupid.

She supposes she never considered the notion that Elphaba may have been just as impressed by Morrible as Glinda had. Morrible had been somewhat of a personal celebrity to young Glinda. Someone to look up to. Someone she’d desperately wanted to impress.

No one’s opinion had ever mattered to her as much as Morrible’s had. She hadn’t really considered that, just maybe, the same was true for Elphaba, too.

“What do you even see in Morrible?” she quietly asks. She wants to know. She needs to know.

“Oh, I don’t know, Galinda, maybe the fact that she’s the first person in my whole life to believe in me? To be nice to me? To see my magic as something good?”

The words tumble out of Elphaba in a heavy rush, leaving her almost breathless as she blinks back into awareness. Glinda herself is a little shocked by the weight of emotion she’d received in that response, the raw honesty that she hadn’t expected from this Elphaba.

Oh.

Is that…how she’d always felt? The first time? Glinda ponders that thought for a moment, her heart heavy and beating with dull, weighted thumps. She’d thought-- 

“I believe in you,” Glinda says softly. She can’t bear to look at Elphaba, her gaze sliding to the floor instead. She had wanted things to be different this time. “I-I’ve been nice. Why does Morrible get the benefit of the doubt and not me?”

Was it naive of her to assume that Elphaba would like her? Was it stupid to think their friendship would be easy?

Her heavy heart seems to stretch and pull, pressing against her ribcage, pushing at her lungs. She’s trembling slightly, much as she tries to stop it. She’s wished and waited for so long to be able to hold Elphaba in her arms again. And even with her right in front of her--

She can’t. Because Elphaba doesn’t--

She doesn’t trust Glinda. 

It’s not a new feeling, that revelation. She’s felt it before. She’s spent many a night with tears in her eyes, wondering where it all went wrong, wondering what she’d done to lose the person who meant the most to her.  Wondering if- if Glinda had ever been as important to Elphie as Elphie was to her. 

She knows the answer. Has known it since she’d seen the look on Fiyero’s face that day in the palace. Has known it since she’d seen the shuttered regret that flashed in Elphie’s eyes just moments before it got overtaken by resolve. 

That’s why she’d wanted to make friends with her immediately this time. Before Elphaba even got the chance to see or meet anyone else. It would be Glinda who first offered her a smile. Glinda who first reached out a hand. Glinda who opened the doors of her room willingly and embraced the idea of a roommate, a classmate, a friend. 

So…why hadn’t it worked?

Glinda swallows the lump in her throat, her eyes fluttering shut. Maybe, she thinks. It’s just not meant to be. 

Maybe…Elphaba’s happy ending isn’t meant to include Glinda at all. 

Maybe…it never was. 

***

Glinda does her very best to shove away any negative thoughts as she prepares for the night to come. It’s the first official event of the year, and she can’t afford to mess it up. No matter if Elphaba wants to truly be friends or not, no matter if she doesn’t trust her, no matter if she never will-- 

Glinda’s plan hasn’t changed in the slightest.  

The nerves are making her jittery, and she can tell Elphaba sees it, too. Still, the girl is rather agreeable about the whole thing, perhaps feeling the slightest bit guilty about that morning. Glinda wishes she could tell her not to worry. That Glinda’s heart is used to being broken. 

Besides, they currently have a much bigger problem at hand. Namely: that the dress Elphaba has picked out is downright horrendous. 

“I don’t really have anything nicer,” Elphaba explains. 

“That’s fine! You can borrow something of mine!”

Glinda shuffles through her wardrobe, eyes landing on a full tulle skirt, layered in ruffles and shimmery in pale pink. Concentrating, she draws her magic to the tips of her fingers, brushing against the pale fabric and watching it darken, deepen, stretch in length until she has a beautiful black skirt to present. 

It’s one of the first types of magic she ever mastered. Color is easy, especially when it’s clothes. Morrible used to sneer about how useless of a skill it was, how it spoke to Glinda’s ditziness and lack of substance. How could the Wizard use a skill like that? How could it help in their cause? 

The only thing it had ever been truly useful for was stripping that godawful green from the rest of the rooms in the palace. 

At least here, now, it can do something much more significant. It can make Elphaba smile. 

They look good together. Really fucking good, if Glinda’s being honest. She’d found the perfect shirt and several glittering pieces of jewelry for Elphaba, and it nearly knocks the air from her lungs seeing her standing in front of the mirror, a tiny smile on her face as she takes in her own appearance. 

“You look beautiful,” Glinda says, her words echoing through memories that she still holds so near and dear to her heart. She watches Elphaba’s cheeks darken and can’t help the large smile that spreads across her face. 

She goes to grab Elphaba’s hand, filled with a sudden desire to show everyone just how stunning this woman is. How soft and precious and sincere. 

She’s dragged Elphaba all the way across the room before she realizes she didn’t even ask, that this Elphaba doesn’t want Glinda to be so clingy and tactile. “Sorry!” she yelps, somehow finding the strength to unclasp her fingers. 

Muscle memory. Sometimes…it can be a real pain in the ass. 

“It’s fine,” Elphaba surprises her. Glinda blinks up at her, eyes wide. “I don’t mind.”

And-- this time, Elphaba is the one to reach out. Elphaba is the one to slide her hand into Glinda’s, tangling their fingers together and giving it a light squeeze. Her smile is tentative, but genuine. 

Glinda takes so long to recover that it’s Elphaba who leads them out the door. 

***

The party is going exactly as planned. Elphaba follows along willingly as Glinda introduces her to just about everyone she sees, giving them just enough time and dropping just enough hints to leave a good impression on everyone’s minds. She swirls glasses of something sparkling and sadly lacking in true alcohol between her fingers, pushing aside the desire for a strong drink with sheer determination. 

She’s on a mission tonight, hoping to kick-start what will likely be many months of work. The crowd features some of the most important Shiz alumni and staff, and Glinda’s goal is to get all of them talking about Elphaba. 

How smart she is. How impressive. How unique and wonderful and brilliant. 

Anything positive. 

They separate at some point, Elphaba going over to talk to Dr. Dillamond while Glinda gets swept up in her own friend group, ShenShen grabbing at her to pull her into a round of gossip. She gives them just enough of her attention to seem engaged while the rest of her mind is still turning over who she has left to talk to and who so far has seemed the most accepting. 

She drifts away from the group a little, nails tapping mindlessly against the glass stem in her grasp, and she’s just thinking maybe she can stomach a few hors d’oeuvres when a sudden voice rakes ice down her spine. 

“Miss…Galinda, isn’t it?” 

Glinda has to suppress a shudder at the way her name sounds when it drips from Madame Morrible’s smirking lips. She knows who Glinda is. There’s a jab in there somewhere, just as there always is. 

Still, she musters a carefully neutral smile as she turns around. “That’s me!”

Morrible hums, an altogether displeased sound. She rakes her gaze up and down Glinda’s body, one eyebrow raised in disdain. “Yes, yes it is.” She glances around, taking a careful sip of her own drink. “I see you’ve been making the rounds tonight.”

The thought of Morrible watching her, studying her, makes Glinda’s heart race rabbit fast in her chest. She keeps her smile through sheer force of will. 

“I’ve enjoyed meeting everyone,” she replies. “I love getting to talk to all the alumni.”

Morrible makes a noise that, on anyone else, could almost be called a scoff. She’s much too elegant for it, but Glinda understands anyway. Cut the bullshit. 

“Oh, spare me the charm, dear. We both know you don’t care about the people.” 

Glinda’s fingers tighten on her glass almost to the point of snapping it in half. Morrible’s eyes narrow, cold and hard. 

“I read your essay, Miss Upland. What of it was legible, that is. I know exactly what kind of a person you are.”

That fucking essay. 

“And…” Morrible steps forward, close enough that Glinda has to crane her neck back a little in order to look her in the eye. “I think you know it, too. You’re not nearly as dumb as you seem, are you?”

Glinda swallows hard, shaking her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Morrible’s glare deepens. “Miss Elphaba has been rather…distracted, lately. I don’t suppose you know anything about that either?”

Glinda doesn’t say a word. Just stares back, face carefully blank. Innocent. 

“You know, Miss Elphaba reminds me a lot of myself in a way. Young, talented, ambitious. She has such great potential. She is brilliant, my dear. And you…well.”

It’s nothing Glinda hasn’t heard before. The thinly veiled insults. The hidden threats. Glinda has heard every scathing comment Morrible could come up with. This? This is nothing.

But the closer the woman gets, the more Glinda starts to feel that old familiar fear pool in her belly, making her palms sweat and her pulse pound. She steels her spine to stop from leaning back, trying to escape the dominating presence of the woman who, for many years, was the darkest part of Glinda’s life. 

“Elphaba is my friend,” Glinda says. She tries to make it come out strong and sure. But Morrible’s lips just twisted into a smirk, a buzz in the air telling Glinda that there is magic humming too close to the surface for comfort. 

Lightning. 

“Oh, I’ve met friends like you before. You cling to her like a vine to a tower, twisting your way into her cracks, hoping some of her height will make up for your own lack of roots. But in the end, Miss Galinda, you are nothing but a weed. A parasite trying to smother her brilliance, trying to make yourself all that can be seen.”

Morrible steps ever closer, voice silken but cold. “Do you know what we do to weeds, my dear?” Her eyes spark with hidden lightning, her smile razor thin. “We burn them.”

Glinda feels panic swarm her system, her fight or flight kicking in so hard it takes all her effort not to react. She stutters on her next few breaths, unable to think up a response. Morrible hadn’t liked her at Shiz, the first time around, but she hadn’t been so plainly threatening before either. 

“Madame Morrible!” The call gets both of their attention, Morrible stepping back to a more appropriate distance as Glinda catches her breath. 

Elphaba. 

Glinda checks out a little after that, letting the conversation wash over her as she clings to Elphaba’s hand. The green girl gives it a comforting squeeze, clearly picking up on her nerves and tension. Glinda appreciates it more than she can say, the steady presence helping her remain composed. 

She waves off Elphaba’s concern later that evening, finally back in their dorm and able to slough the fear off with her dress. She eyes herself in the mirror for a moment, letting herself see her true reflection beneath the glamour. 

Skin that is pale and blotchy, stretched thin across sharp cheekbones. Bruises under her eyes too deep for a single night to fix. There’s a certain hollowness in her gaze, a dull ache that matches the quiet defeat pulling at her shoulders. 

It’s funny, isn’t it? Glinda has only been in this body for a couple of weeks. And already she looks like death warmed over. 

Though- perhaps that’s a more accurate statement than one might think. After all, Glinda had died, hadn’t she? She had died…and then she’d come back. Somehow. 

She supposed that would take a toll on anyone.

***

Thankfully, with the first official event past, Glinda’s social calendar is more than busy enough to take her mind off anything Morrible related. She forces herself out of bed early, dropping the silencing spell so the sounds of her getting ready will hopefully wake Elphaba. 

The other girl had never been the deepest sleeper, so Glinda had tried to remember to keep a spell going overnight just in case she got a little too loud when she finally drifted off. She’d gotten pretty good at muffling her own screams when she’d still been sleeping in the same room as Fiyero, but lately…well. There hadn’t been anyone to keep them from. 

She keeps herself busy this morning, forcing chipperness into her tone even when she wants nothing more than to curl back under the covers. Busy is good. Busy is helpful. She does her makeup and her hair, chooses her own outfit and then chooses one for Elphaba, too. 

The day passes quickly, a mindless blur of people and pastries and performance. It’s one thing after another, too many in a row to even catch her breath between them. The exhaustion pulls at her, but she welcomes the feeling like the ghost of an old friend. 

She can tell it’s a bit hard on Elphaba, though, and she feels the guilt start to rise when Elphaba flops down on her bed that evening with a groan. Glinda had known she didn’t need Elphaba for most of these events, but--

It’s just so hard to let her out of her sight all day. Glinda is getting better, she thinks, at remembering. But in the mornings, when her eyes blink open to the confusing sight of the dorm ceiling, it still always takes her a second to believe that this is all real. 

Perhaps it’s the lingering anxiety from last night, but today, it had been especially hard to tamp down the panicky doubt that enters her mind when Elphaba disappears from view. The sudden swarm of fear that says maybe she was never really here. 

She concedes, of course. She can’t force Elphaba to come with her to all of these, and it’s honestly even easier to get things rolling on her own. But it sets her nerves on edge, putting Glinda on a hair trigger that has her skin crawling and her magic thrumming like a second pulse through her veins. 

It’s necessary, she knows. But that doesn’t mean she likes it. 

Glinda had truly thought this would be easy. She can run a whole country, dammnit, so a few tea parties should be nothing in comparison. But this younger body of hers isn’t used to it in the same way her older one was. This body struggles to get up every morning when it’s gotten only a few scant hours of sleep. This body feels weak and lightheaded when it goes too long without being fed. This body has to blink spots from its vision when she exerts herself too hard-- even if that just means climbing the stairs or dashing across the quad. 

Was she always this weak? Or is this something new? Something that makes this time just slightly different, like how Elphaba herself isn’t quite identical to the Elphie she once knew?

Anxiety eats away at Glinda as the days slide past, and the daily breakdowns in the shower get longer and rougher, harder to pull herself out of. Her glamour keeps cracking, revealing more than it should. Her nightmares get stronger, until she starts having to keep a hand over her mouth as she sleeps lest her silencing spell fail at the wrong time. 

It was bound to happen at some point. Inevitable, really. Glinda’s luck has never been very strong, after all. 

Emerald eyes shine in her blurry, tear-filled vision, Glinda’s mind trapped between past and present, confused and frightened and too panicked to keep track. It’s the scent that finally gets through to her. Her nose is buried in those same dark braids, but she has already started to categorize this particular scent as Elphaba. 

Not Elphie. 

The weight of Elphaba’s arms is so nearly identical, though. Comforting and warm as she whispers reassurances in Glinda’s ear. Glinda curls right into her, a spot she knows better than any. Their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, always just so right. In the morning, Glinda will regret this moment of weakness. Will chastise herself for the slip. 

But right now, she lets herself indulge. Lets herself press close enough that she can feel the steady pound of Elphaba’s heart as it helps calm her own. 

“Thank you,” Glinda breathes. She tries to pour every ounce of gratitude she has into the two simple words. Gratitude for Elphaba. Gratitude for Elphie. Gratitude for the universe and whatever force allowed her this second chance, this unbelievable opportunity to hold her friend’s ghost in her arms and feel her warmth and her light. 

I promise, Glinda swears to them all. I won’t take it for granted. 

***

A gift.

***

Time keeps ticking forward, second by second, day by day, and Glinda forces herself to keep up with it. To keep going. She doesn’t have much choice, really. She has to do this. 

And- it’s working. She can tell. People don’t just accept Elphaba’s presence anymore; they embrace it. They say ‘hi’ to her in the hall, they invite her to sit by them at lunch, they ask for her opinion on their homework. 

Elphaba is starting to be part of the crowd. Glinda thinks it freaks her out a little, being given attention that isn’t negative. But there’s a gentle glow to her each time, like she’s secretly thrilled by it as well. 

Glinda thinks that’s worth any amount of breakdowns. 

The two roommates are growing closer and closer, Elphaba starting to look for Glinda almost as often as Glinda looks for her. She gives her hand to Glinda willingly and smiles at her easily. She’s relaxed in Glinda’s presence, knocking their shoulders together and snorting in amusement when Glinda cracks a joke. 

She takes to stealing Glinda away at lunchtime, and Glinda can recognize that familiar look of protective concern in her gaze when she slides something sweet and filling onto Glinda’s plate, urging her to take a few bites. They’re falling into a routine, sliding into a familiarity around each other that sings like windchimes and pierces like warning bells. 

Don’t get attached, Glinda had said at the very beginning. But she’d always known it was futile. Glinda was attached before she ever stepped foot off the boat. Elphie had been, still was, and always would be, the love of Glinda’s life. 

Seeing Elphaba, hearing her laugh, feeling her soft hand in her own--

Yes. Glinda had always been weak. 

Her heart most of all. 

Elphaba starts volunteering to come with Glinda to more and more of her social outings, and Glinda knows the girl has ulterior motives, but she can’t help the way she beams in response. She wakes before Elphaba each day, keeping quiet until she’s worked her armor back on and is ready to let Elphaba wake up. 

She enjoys these easy mornings. Making herself and Elphaba a cup of tea, a simple spell ensuring the perfect temperature. She picks the perfect outfits, a dash of magic lengthening and darkening the fabrics as needed. 

Magic practice with Elphaba goes…less than swimmingly. But that’s fine-- there are so many other things to enjoy. Things Glinda had never thought she’d have the chance to indulge in ever again. Things that make her heart feel too big for her ribs to hold, the tattered edges leaking emotions like a hot air balloon with a hole in it. 

The sound of Elphaba’s silky soft voice as she reads to Glinda is perhaps one of her favorites. Elphaba isn’t very subtle- Glinda knows what she’s up to when she starts fake yawning and talking about needing a nap. But it’s not like Glinda’s going to say no. 

Besides. She really does get her best sleep with Elphaba sitting beside her, her voice a soothing balm as it carries Glinda off, her steady presence a protective force against the nightmares that lurk in the shadowy corners of her mind. 

Sleepiness makes Glinda’s brain foggy and slow, pulling it between timelines until she can’t quite remember how old she is or what year it is or which person lies beside her. It’s funny- isn’t it? Those moments right after waking are when Glinda feels the most bereft, the most sure that she will roll over and see nothing but the emptiness of her palace bedroom. 

But it’s the moments right before she falls asleep that she feels the most content, a syrupy sort of confusion letting her imagine, just for a moment, that she’s back where it all began, with a girl she loves at her side, and nothing more troublesome than history homework to wake up to. 

Neither of them is reality. But one of them is a hell of a lot nicer to believe. 

***

Time. It’s such a finicky, funky thing, isn’t it? It’s Glinda’s greatest gift, and her worst enemy.

Before, Glinda was lucky if she remembered what month it was, let alone what day. She let time blur past, steadily creeping towards an end she hoped was coming soon. 

Now, it’s the opposite. She’s meticulous in her tracking, counting the days and trying her hardest to align her calendar up with her memories. Now, the end seems to be rushing for her, making her dread the ticking of the clock.

Most of her calendar is filled with glittering ink, dotted with the occasional sticker and reminder. But there are a few dates that she highlights right at the start, circling them in bold red so she won’t forget. Glinda is here for Elphaba. She wants to make things right, for Elphaba. 

Elphaba is her goal, her focus, her motivation to keep making it through each and every day. But there are others here that Glinda has failed as well. And she’s not about to just stand aside and do so again. 

Dr. Dillamond is one of them. 

She’s lucky she remembered which assignment it was that preceded this event, otherwise she would’ve never remembered the exact date. She waits for him to announce it, waits for him to tell them which class he’d be returning their essays in. She waits for an opening, a reason to convince Elphaba to come along. 

She needs Elphaba to see it, too. A part of Glinda resented the Animals, somewhat, for being the reason Elphaba became the Wicked Witch. But in the years since the Melting, she had met and worked with so many of them, come to hear of their stories and struggles and successes. 

Glinda had spent many nights lying awake debating this back and forth in her head. Does she let Elphaba get swept up in the Animals’ cause again? Does she let her fall into the same rebellion that would eventually get her killed? What if Glinda couldn’t do it? What if she couldn’t save them both?

The solution had come to her only a week before. The idea that maybe saving the Animals was the way to save Elphaba. If she could somehow get Elphaba to learn the truth before she went to the Emerald City, then Elphaba would never have a reason to want to see the Wizard. And the Wizard would never have a chance to turn her into an enemy. 

They could kick start the rebellion right here at Shiz, getting all the students on their side. They could show everyone the truth without anyone in the Emerald City ever knowing who, exactly, the information was coming from. The students would believe Glinda. They would. 

After all- look how easy all of Oz was to convince once the Wicked Witch was dead. 

Glinda steadfastly ignores the part of her brain that says it was such naive optimism that was her downfall the first time around.

Instead, she hatches a plan, and she lets it play out, and she wakes up at dawn to pull Elphaba down the winding halls of Shiz to Dillamond’s classroom. 

“Turn around,” she commands gently. She pulls a bobby pin from her hair, just for appearance, and waves her hand at Elphaba until the taller girl rolls her eyes and does as she’s told. Glinda lets her nerves fuel her magic, the lock clicking open with barely a touch. 

“We’re in,” Glinda whispers, adrenaline thrumming through her system as her skin prickles with the constant worry that they could be caught at any moment. She instructs Elphaba to search around near the chalkboard, hoping she’ll be the one to catch sight of the nasty message. 

She knows it’ll be there by now. Dillamond’s classroom is on a busy enough hallway that there’s no way someone snuck in, painted those words, and snuck back out during normal class time. It had to have been done the night before. 

“Do you see anything?” Glinda prompts, not even pretending to look for her ‘missing’ satchel as she waits for Elphaba’s reaction. 

“No, sorry,” comes the unexpected answer. Glinda blinks, perplexed. 

….no?

Hustling over, Glinda can feel her composure start to crack as panic leaps up her throat. This- this doesn’t make sense. Glinda was so sure she had the right day. The assignment, the weather, the weeks. The fact that, for tomorrow, she’d highlighted the day in bright royal blue and spent the whole week getting only the barest of sleep because she knew what was coming. 

She knew. 

Or--

Did she?

Was she wrong?

Did she mess up?

Glinda’s chest tightens like a vise, invisible hands squeezing until her breath comes in short, shallow gasps. The room around her blurs at the edges, Elphaba’s voice fading in and out like a faulty radio. 

“Galinda?” Elphaba asks, but Glinda isn’t paying attention. All she can see is the chalkboard, the lesson for today’s class pristine and untouched. 

She messed up. 

“I don’t understand,” she whispers. Her heart thuds violently, too fast, too hard, as if it were trying to punch its way out of her chest. Cold sweat blooms along her spine and her fingers grow numb as she grabs onto her own arms.

Glinda can’t afford to mess up. If she’s wrong about this, then what else is she wrong about? Has she remembered anything correctly? 

“Hey, Galinda, what’s wrong?” Elphaba tries, ignorant of the storm in Glinda’s mind. Her voice is pitched low, soothing, a familiar note of concern. “You’re trembling,” she says, and Glinda feels something in her chest shatter. 

Sobs rip from her throat, breaking on desperate coughs that seek to suffocate her, to drown her in her own guilt. The world feels like it's falling away, leaving Glinda cold and alone and helpless as she suffers. She’s babbling something, shaking violently, confused and frightened and dying. 

She thought she knew what dying felt like. 

Someone is talking to her. A palace guard? A handmaiden? A friend? Glinda can’t remember where she is. Her vision has tunneled into something spotty and gray and too blurry to see through. Tears burn salty tracks down her cheeks as she curls in on herself, trying to keep her magic from reacting with nearly as much effort as she tries to take a damn breath. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. 

She doesn’t even know what she’s apologizing for anymore. Or to whom. Everyone? Everyone Glinda has ever touched, ever loved, ever held close, has been burned by her touch. She has failed them all. Over and over and over. 

Through the blurry curtain of her tears, Glinda spots a flash of green, and she’s launching herself forward before she can think. She knows it isn’t real; she’s been through this before-- ghosts that flicker out the moment she tries to touch them, but she can’t help the way her heart lurches each and every time. 

For some reason, this time the mirage holds, and Glinda finds herself throwing her arms around a dead woman’s neck, clutching at the fabric of Elphaba’s shirt, desperate to hold onto something. 

“I’m sorry,” she keeps saying. “I can’t d-do it, I’m sorry, Elphie, I-I-I’m getting it wr-wrong, I can’t--”

I can’t breathe. 

Glinda’s lungs feel like a dead whistle, like they’re utterly incapable of functioning in the manner they’re meant to. She hates this, hates this, hates this. She supposes she should be used to the incidents by this point in her life, but each one feels like a fresh wound, scraping her raw and leaving her hollow and aching. 

Even after it passes, even after she collects herself, even after her senses return enough to feel embarrassed about breaking down in poor Elphaba’s lap, that feeling remains. That hollow, empty numbness that pulls at her spine, and the foggy escape she used to let herself embrace. 

She has to stay present this time. She has to stay focused. She can’t afford to make any more mistakes. 

“Galinda--” Elphaba tries, but her voice is more than Glinda can handle right now. 

“I’m fine,” she thinks she says, gathering her magic and tightening her mask. She slips out of the classroom before anything else can be said, and she lets her world narrow to just one foot in front of the other. 

Smile for the crowd. Sit at her desk. Nod when someone talks. She just barely keeps from drifting off, from falling fully into the void. Already, she has lost track of time. She can’t afford to make it even worse. 

Elphaba flits in and out of view in the corner of her eye, dark eyebrows pinched in concern. Glinda should…do something about that. Reassure her. But words are too far away to reach at the moment, and all her energy must go to maintaining at least some semblance of composure. 

She nearly flinches when Elphaba finally reaches out, tugging her into a section of the school she honestly has never seen before. She frowns at the shelves of well-worn books, dust particles swirling in the golden evening light that comes through the circular window. 

Elphaba gently takes Glinda’s books from her hands, pushing her down onto the seat and pleading with her to just--

“Get some rest, Galinda. Please.”

Rest. It’s almost funny, isn’t it? That Glinda’s first thought is, I’ll rest when I’m dead. 

Too bad she already tried that one. She’ll just have to hope the next time actually sticks. 

***

A punishment. 

***

Glinda doesn’t know what possesses her to slip out of bed and pad across the cold floorboards to stand by Elphaba’s cot. She wrings her hands in front of her stomach, warring with indecision. She knows she won’t be getting a wink of sleep tonight. 

It’s just--

Glinda turns her head, catching sight of her calendar propped up by her desk. She was so sure. Now what? If today wasn’t the day that the message got left on the chalkboard, did that mean tomorrow wasn’t--

Tomorrow wouldn’t--

Glinda squeezes her eyes shut, rocking on her heels and focusing on the swish of her nightgown against her bare skin and the dots of red behind her eyelids. She had been pushing it out of her mind for all the weeks they’d been here. She’d been ignoring the inevitable. 

And now, just when she’d been building up her armor, bracing herself for the coming storm, her footing was yanked out from under her, leaving her feeling adrift and bereft. She gathers her breath, gathers her courage, and lets Elphaba’s name slip from her lips in a breathy whisper. There’s a moment where she thinks Elphaba won’t respond, but then a single emerald eye cracks open. 

“C-can I--” Glinda feels her voice start to crack, her lips trembling as hard as her hands. She slams her mouth shut, shrinking back. This was a terrible idea. “Never mind.”

But Elphaba is shuffling under her sheets, opening her other eye and blinking further awake by the second. She tilts her head, eyes soft. “Do you…want to sleep with me tonight?” she asks. 

Glinda feels her heart jolt, slamming forward like it wants to dive under the covers and then lurching back again like it’s warning her to run away. It takes her a second, but she chooses the first one, nodding quickly and shifting forward when Elphaba lifts the blankets in invitation. 

It’s painful, so so painful. Shivers run down her spine; goosebumps pop up on her skin. She curls up into a ball, taking up as little space as possible. There’s a noticeable gap between her body and Elphaba’s, and she finds herself staring at it, a hard lump swelling in her throat. 

She’s dreamed of this. Dreamed of being back in this exact dorm, pink lamps and soft sheets and a warm body she knows the curves of even better than her own. It’s one of the few good dreams she’s had in the years since… since. 

Yet being here, actually being here, it’s nothing like what she’d wanted. There’s a stiffness to Elphaba’s shoulders, an awkwardness to the air. Glinda longs to slide over, to tuck herself down under Elphaba’s chin and press her ear to her chest to hear that gentle, steady heartbeat she loves. 

But she can’t. Because as each day passes, as she falls deeper and deeper into a routine, as she does her homework and attends her classes and chats with her fellow students, she feels the bottomless pit of grief that once consumed her start to nip at her heels, more and more every day. 

This isn’t Elphie. This Elphaba…she isn’t hers. 

Lying here, inches away from warm green skin, her face pressed to a pillow that smells just slightly wrong, Glinda has never felt further from the woman she loves. 

***

Waking gently is a rare occurrence for Glinda these days. She’s so used to being yanked from a nightmare that the syrupy slowness that she has to push through as she blinks sticky eyelids open some hours later is all but foreign to her. 

She doesn’t remember her dream, but it was something soft and sweet, something that lingers like sugary spun clouds in her mind, a cotton candy haze that has her smiling as she wakes, greeting the ghost in her bed with a giggle and grin. 

It doesn’t last, of course. The sunlight on her skin helps melt the nighttime peace away, her previous anxieties resurfacing as she realizes-- tomorrow is here. 

Fiyero. 

His name rings in her ears, it blurs before her eyes. 

Fiyero. 

Every slip and syllable, every letter and sound. 

Fiyero. 

Screaming echoes through her mind, the fleshy pounding of fists making her flinch. She hears them all day, almost distracting her from processing the fact that she had, in fact, not messed up. Today was the day Fiyero arrived at Shiz. Which meant yesterday should have been the day the chalkboard got vandalized. 

And it…didn’t. Not because they caught someone, but because no one ever wrote the message. 

Glinda can’t decide if that’s a good sign or not. Did her efforts to speak well of the professor already change people’s minds enough that whoever wrote it the first time around chose not to?

Or…is there another reason the original vandal didn’t bother?

Glinda bites her lower lip, her eyes skirting over the crowd, searching for the unmistakable white hair. She had always suspected, hadn’t she? But if she was right…what did it mean? 

She’s so lost in thought that she doesn’t notice the position of the sun, the excited chatter, the small crowd. She doesn’t notice what time it is until she finds herself staring into the depths of the library, a familiar flash of blue catching her eye.

Fiyero. 

He’s surrounded by eager students, the gold buttons on his jacket catching the light as he turns, dazzling the crowd with his signature smile. Glinda feels a vice-like grip clench down on her chest, stealing her breath as she wavers in the entryway. 

“Galinda?” a voice calls out. “Galinda? Hey, look at me.”

For once though, Elphaba isn’t the sole focus of Glinda’s attention. She barely even registers the other girl’s presence, too busy trying to wrangle through her own feelings and fears. 

Fiyero. 

She can still taste his lips on her own. Can still hear his screams and cries and the begging that had taken so many minutes to start up, the begging he’d held off until he realized they weren’t going to stop. 

Men he’d known for years. Men he’d trusted to have his back. Men that Glinda had let pull her away, rough hands on her waist, her own screams a futile effort to save the one other person in her life that had ever looked at her and really, truly seen her. 

Fiyero. 

“So, what do you do for fun around here?”

Glinda feels the pain in her chest sharpen like knives, like needles, like teeth- something fierce and wild, something that latches on and pulls, ripping what’s left of her fragile strength to shreds. She feels her whole ribcage cave in, the air leaving her so quickly the world tilts and her vision goes white. 

Somewhere in the shaking house of dust and bone that her body has become, her heart starts to burn. 

Glinda doesn’t remember turning, doesn’t remember running. She’s weaving blindly, steered by muscle memory and pure, unadulterated panic, sprinting until her legs give out and her knees hit the dirt at the same time that a sob rips from her throat. She can’t breathe. 

Because Glinda had sat on that balcony for hours and days and weeks and years. And she’d forgotten the sound of his voice. She’d forgotten the slide of his accents over each vowel. She’d forgotten the way the sound had, at one point, been the closest thing she had to a home. 

Glinda had forgotten. 

Fiyero. 

A black tide washes over her, yanking her down into salty darkness, her tears too thick to see through as she gives one last gasping breath and lets herself sink.

***

I can’t do it. 

***

I’m sorry. 

***

Please. 

***

Elphie…

***

“Hey,” Elphaba says softly. “I’m here.”

And--

Yes. She is. 

But it’s not the same. And Glinda looks into emerald eyes she knows better than her own and feels like mourning all over again. 

***

Somehow, in the great chaos of everything, Glinda had forgotten one of the most important events of her life. 

Somehow, in all her meticulous planning, Glinda had forgotten to mark down the fucking Ozdust. 

Or- maybe she’d just been pretending to forget. Pretending like just thinking of that moment when her hands had first met Elphaba’s on the dance floor wouldn’t shatter the last bits of her mask. 

“This is definitely the one,” Pfannee says, holding up a dress that Glinda can barely stand to look at without feeling tears press against the back of her eyes. 

This--

This night--

It was maybe one of the only things in her life she’d ever done right. 

And maybe she’d been pretending, been forgetting, been pushing away the fact that she has to decide. What to do. What to say.

There’s a black hat sitting in her wardrobe that Glinda has to decide the fate of. 

How is it going to work this time around? 

Because--

Because the Ozdust is one of the best memories Glinda has. A spot of brightness that she clings to in those moments when everything else seems so overwhelmingly dark. And it’s selfish, so selfish, but Glinda…she wants it. 

She wants to see Elphaba in that hat. She wants to see her fully embrace herself on the floor. She wants to have that moment of indescribable connection. 

She shouldn’t. She shouldn’t be selfish. Not when that’s what caused all her problems in the first place. 

But--

Oz, does she want to. 

“Try it on, try it on!” ShenShen urges, thrusting the dress into Glinda’s hands. Glinda shoots a nervous glance Elphaba’s way. She has an idea brewing in the back of her head, a terrible, horrible, selfish idea. And she needs Elphaba gone to make it work. 

Elphaba, thankfully, gets the hint and escapes to the bathroom. With a gentle push of magic, Glinda makes sure her and her friends’ voices will be heard easily on the other side of that door, ducking behind one of her racks of clothes to slip into the sunset colored dress. 

Pfannee and ShenShen are still trying to push her Fiyero’s way, of course, and Glinda lets their chatter wash over her, familiar and soothing in its own way. She missed them, in some odd little way that she sometimes feels bad for. They weren’t the best people all the time, but they also were so far from the worst she’d ever met, it wasn’t even funny. 

In the end, Pfannee and ShenShen were…well, they were who Glinda would’ve been if Elphaba had never entered her life. Sheltered and ignorant and too full of themselves to open their minds and eyes to the truth. Too content to sit in their bubble forever, looking out through a rose-colored membrane that let them only see the best the world had to offer them and never the worst it had to offer everyone else. 

Glinda can look back and realize that they hadn’t always been the best of friends either, but they’d always been there for Glinda, in their own way. Even if it was really just to benefit themselves, she wants to believe that at least some small part of it was genuine. 

Their faces truly light up when Glinda steps back into view, and she feels it lift the corners of her own lips in return. All these years later, and Glinda still can’t help the swirl of delight she gets when the compliments start falling from their lips. 

She’s just sitting down at her vanity when the deja vu hits. “Ew,” she hears from behind her. “Glinda? What’s the reason?”

No turning back now. 

It feels oddly like reading a script, like she’s an actor playing out a role. She lets her magic fade in and out, just like she knows their voices must surely be doing to the eavesdropping girl in the bathroom. Glinda knows Elphaba will be listening in, and she knows she’ll hear only what Glinda allows her to. 

Pfannee and ShenShen take the bait, eyeing the closed door with a malicious glee that makes Glinda rethink how much she missed them. She surely didn’t miss this side of them. Even the first time around, Glinda would’ve never thought to give Elphaba the hat if it weren’t for their encouragement and Elphie’s own poor timing. 

This time, the soft smile that Elphaba gives her reflection as they stand in front of the mirror together nearly breaks Glinda’s resolve. But--

The hat. 

It was the last thing Glinda had left of Elphie. The first gift she ever gave her, even if that’s not how she meant it at the time. Elphie had taken her rose with her when she’d fled the Emerald City. Glinda had never seen it again. 

The hat was all she had. The green bottle was tainted, was ruined by the Wizard’s touch and influence and the secret she doesn’t know if she can ever bear to tell this Elphaba. But the hat. That was something that was just for the two of them. 

The hat was a part of Elphaba. It was just-- it was essential. Glinda could feel it. And she thinks Elphaba can too, her shoulders straightening and her eyes brightening. “Thanks,” she breathes, grinning as she runs a hand across the brim. “I love it.”

Glinda’s stomach flips so hard she feels it switch places with her lungs, preventing her from breathing right as she gazes up at Elphaba, a cutting figure draped in black but still shining like fresh moonlight. 

Glinda’s north star. 

She would follow her anywhere. 

Glinda finds herself smiling back, genuine and aching, as she reaches out and touches a single light fingertip to the hat herself. “It suits you,” she whispers, and when Elphaba’s smile grows even wider in response, she closes her eyes and wraps this memory in bubbled security, willing herself to hold onto it no matter what happens next. 

***

There’s a pink flower in her hair. There’s a prince’s hand in her own. A second rush of deja vu sweeps over her as Glinda enters the ballroom. Loud music and drunk patrons and strobing lights. She has so many good memories of this place. 

Beside her, Fiyero grins with excitement, offering his hand for a dance the second her heels hit the smooth floor. It’s intriguing, how easy it is for Glinda to accept this Fiyero, how easy it is to lock those tumultuous feelings away. 

Fiyero doesn’t haunt her like Elphie does. He stalks her nightmares and he throws his weight behind her shame and guilt and regret and grief. But Fiyero had made a choice. A poor one, in the end. But one that Glinda has come to accept as his own. 

And maybe, just maybe, there’s a tiny part of her that still--

That still hurt, just a little. Thinking of how easy it was for him to leave her. Thinking of the years of lies. Thinking of the sting of betrayal. 

But Fiyero was, in many ways, for many years, her closest friend. She loved him. Not in the way Oz thought she did, but she still loved him. And that love makes it easy to forgive this younger version of him who still thinks he can dance his way through life without a care in the world. 

It makes it easy to let him twirl her around while she counts the seconds in her head and waits for that awkward hush to fall over the room. For the snickers and whispers and stuttered music. For the sheer depth of hurt that clouds Elphaba’s eyes as the light hits her. 

Oz, she looks beautiful. 

“Elphaba!”

Glinda’s heels echo slightly- that’s how quiet it’s become. She crosses the room with all the grace of a ruler heading to their throne, ready to entertain that evening’s petitioners. An odd calm has rooted into her, like for the first time, she has no doubts at all. 

She knows exactly what she wants to do. 

Not that it makes it any easier to face the full brunt of Elphaba’s lost look, the soulful, crushed pleading that gets aimed Glinda’s way. It causes guilt to storm her lungs, breaking her serene mask for just a moment, just a sliver of genuine nerves peeking through, enough to make Elphaba see that she means this. 

“Just- trust me,” she whispers, a note of her own pleading leaking in. Her guilt-filled lungs start to spasm like bellows, a rapid rise and fall that she hopes Elphaba doesn’t notice as she steels herself against the piercing gazes of the crowd. 

“Dance with me,” she asks, and when she offers her hand out, the dance floor lights make it look nearly as green as Elphaba’s. She smiles, tiny and encouraging, and gives the hand a squeeze before she lets it fall away, Elphaba backing up a few steps. 

Pfannee and ShenShen are saying something, a harsh whisper that a younger Glinda may have cared to listen to. But there’s no conflicting feelings here. Glinda’s limbs are trembling against  her control, but she’s not confused or hesitant or scared. She is overcome not with anxiety, but with wonder. 

She wasn’t sure it could happen twice. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be so lucky. 

They mirror each other perfectly, twin souls winding across the dance floor, staring only at each other, feeling only each other. As the music starts to play and the crowd starts to join and Glinda lets herself get lost in the moment, in the emotions, in the joy that exudes from every inch of Elphaba’s glowing face, she realizes that, for the first time since she came back--

She only sees Elphaba. 

When those green arms throw themselves around her, Glinda finds herself overwhelmed and shaking, tears stinging at her eyes as she gasps into Elphaba’s shoulder and whispers apologies into the soft green skin. 

“You look beautiful, Elphaba, you really, truly do,” she says, trying to tell her, reassure her, promise her that Glinda never ever wanted to hurt her. She--

She--

“I’m sorry.”

Elphaba tears herself out of Glinda’s arms, gaping at her as the crowd swirls around them in a whirlwind of color and stomping glee. “Elphaba?” Glinda asks, stomach clenching at the thought that maybe this is one thing she won’t be forgiven for. 

Elphaba is staring at her, eyes a little wide and a little wet and sparkling with too many colors and emotions to count. Her chest pushes against the restraint of her dress with every rapid breath and her dress is shimmering under the river glow like the starlight Glinda always thinks of her as. 

Elphaba. 

Just Elphaba. 

“Sorry,” Elphaba croaks out. “Just- overwhelmed.”

Glinda feels a surge of fondness that soothes her nerves, her thumb stroking softly across Elphaba’s knuckles as she jerks her chin toward the exit and says, “Let’s get out of here.”

Glinda closes her eyes as she steps into the cool night air, breathing deeply and feeling a part of herself settle. She leans into Elphaba’s side, smiling when the taller girl wraps her up in another hug, ducking her head to hide her face in Glinda’s hair. 

She’s trembling, and Glinda feels her hands tighten on black fabric at the thought that evokes. 

“Thank you,” Elphaba whispers, and it’s so soft and achingly genuine. A lifetime’s worth of gratitude. A depth of appreciation that Glinda doesn’t deserve. 

Salty tears slide down her cheeks, her heart twisting and turning and tearing at its stitches, down to its very last threads. She wills it to stay strong as she leans harder into Elphaba’s embrace. 

“You deserve the world, Elphaba Thropp,” Glinda says. More than I ever will. “And I’m going to make sure you get it.”

No matter what it takes. 

***

History repeats itself. 

“Let’s tell each other a secret. Something you’ve never told anyone before.”

History repeats itself. 

“Pink goes good with green, too!”

History repeats itself. 

“It so does.”

***

“Galinda, hey.” Elphaba nudges Glinda, trying to pull her attention back to the present. “Don’t fall asleep yet. You still need to eat something.”

Glinda swallows her groan, twirling her fork idly as she lets her thoughts drift. So much has happened in the past 24 hours that it almost hurts to think about. That tantalizing haze, that familiar foggy escape, pulls at the edges of her mind, begging her to succumb. 

“Not hungry,” she mumbles, barely even glancing at the food in front of her. 

“I know, but you still need to. Just a few bites at least, please?”

Elphaba looks so worried and insistent, that Glinda forces herself to at least try, even if the very thought of chewing and swallowing makes her nauseous. It’s early and she’s exhausted and she’s still recovering from yesterday and last night. Food is the last thing she wants. 

But she also doesn’t want to disappoint Elphaba, so she makes herself stab a forkful and bring it to her mouth, chewing mechanically. The food turns to paste almost instantly. No flavor. No texture. Just a thick, warm weight she can’t seem to swallow, her throat tightening and convulsing with the threat of a gag. 

She stares at the table, eyes glassy, chewing and chewing until her jaw aches before finally gulping it all down with a wince. And then she does it again, and again, and again, one more bite for each nudge of Elphaba’s shoulder. It sits heavy in her gut, a poisonous sludge that sucks at her stomach. Her heart rate picks up, pounding along as though eating a single meal was paramount to running a marathon. 

She only gets about half her bowl down before she genuinely starts to worry it’s about to come back up. “Sorry,” she whispers, cheeks burning with shame. Her eating habits never mattered before, but with Elphaba sitting here, it feels like just another failure. “I-I don’t really do big meals.”

They make her stomach hurt and her heart race and her body ache. It makes her feel lightheaded and queasy. She’s not hungry very often, and if she’s not hungry, it’s like her body physically repels the smell and taste of food, turning it into something impossible to bear. 

She tries to shove those thoughts aside as they head outside, wandering through the garden lanes and enjoying the early autumn air. Glinda feels her spirits lift a bit, feeling refreshed by the beautiful weather. She even finds the energy to hop up on her toes as they pass under an arched trellis, fingers brushing against a low-hanging vine. 

The motion makes her stumble, heels slipping as she blinks a bit of dizziness from her system. Elphaba steadies her with ease, rolling her eyes and murmuring softly in her ear. “Silly,” she says, blowing a warm gust of air over the shell of Glinda’s ear, a gesture that startles a giggly squeal from the blonde. 

Silly. Elphaba calls her that a lot. She likes the way it sounds; young and innocent and amused. They’re not descriptors she would’ve given to herself, and it makes her heart feel a little lighter to imagine that they’re still things Elphaba can see in her. 

It’s moments like these, the small ones, the slow ones, that make Glinda think maybe she is a little lucky after all. A gift or a punishment? Sometimes, Glinda looks at Elphaba, and she isn’t really sure. 

Warm arms wrap around her, soft magic brushes against her, and Glinda lets herself indulge, lets herself release just enough control to feel the shift in the air, the buzz and spark and bloom. Elphaba gasps, her face filled with awe. 

“Did I do that?” she wonders, and she looks so--

She looks so--

Elphaba reaches out, arm brushing past Glinda’s head as she plucks a single pink rose from the bush behind her and gently tucks it behind one of Glinda’s ears. Deja vu. 

History repeats itself. 

“W-what was that for?” Glinda breathes, mind flickering, flickering, a ghost smiling at her. 

“Just…felt like it,” Elphaba responds, tapping gently against Glinda’s nose. “Pretty as a rose.”

Heat blossoms across Glinda’s face, a tsunami’s worth of longing swelling within her, a devastating wave of want tangling with the ever-present riptide of loss. Glinda breathes in, breathes out, holds on. 

A gift or a punishment?

Who said it couldn’t be both?

***

History repeats itself. 

Glinda glances from one figure to the next, taking in the easygoing smile and the fondly rolling eyes. Beneath the table, her hands curl into fists. 

History repeats itself. 

“Galinda? Tell me a secret.”

History repeats itself. 

“I think you would really like him.”

Fiyero. 

***

Glinda’s plan--as quick-thought and ill-prepared as it was--is working. Somehow. Incredibly. Impossibly. 

She takes Elphaba everywhere these days, filling every spare minute of free time with outings into the city. She goes to every shop, every restaurant, every event. She parades her green-skinned friend in front of everyone who matters and many who don’t, until she stops being a spectacle and starts being a neighbor. 

Someone trustworthy and kind and perhaps just important enough to respect. 

In the evenings, Glinda lets Fiyero tug her out on the dance floor, the drinks flowing, the alcohol doing its part to numb her frayed edges just enough to let her giggle and gasp, spinning across the floor and letting herself relearn that familiar laughter and delight. 

The strong, calloused hands. The steady, sure footsteps. The blinding smile and rich cologne. Fiyero may not have been the love of her life, but he was the second most important person she’d ever known. 

Alcohol really is the greatest invention known to Oz, isn’t it?

Glinda sways in place, feeling deliciously light, unmoored and drifting. She doesn’t mind it. If anything, it’s nice to think she could just…float right off, pulled away from all her problems and worries and struggles. Turned into just another gust of wind and dandelion seeds. 

Sudden movement underneath her makes her yelp, hands grabbing onto the shoulders that appear before her as she’s hauled upward. Blinking quickly, Glinda looks down to the sight of Elphaba’s braids. “I can walk!” she exclaims, pouting even as she holds on tighter. 

“This is faster,” Elphaba says, and Glinda hums happily, slumping into the girl’s hold. Somewhere in the back of her brain, she’s sure there’s a part of her that knows this is undignified and unacceptable for someone like Glinda the Good. 

But--

She’s not Glinda the Good right now. Right now she’s…she’s just Galinda. 

She’s just a girl looking up at the most beautiful woman she’s ever met, the single most extraordinary person she’s ever had the pleasure--and the sorrow--of knowing.  

“What?” Elphaba asks, and Glinda doesn’t know whether to frown or to smile. Whether to laugh or to cry. 

“I like pretty things,” she says, and it tastes like an echo, like a secret, like…a confession.

***

Rain. 

It’s funny, almost, in an entirely not humorous way, how Glinda has come to fear something as simple and natural as the very water that gives their world life. 

Clouds. 

Every time the sky turns over, darkness rolling over the horizon and smothering the blue beneath a murky blanket of grey, Glinda feels a coldness start to gather in her gut, a breathless sense of anticipation that makes her hair stand on end. 

Storms. 

She used to be scared of thunder. She remembers that now. She used to cower and jump at the angry claps of sound. Back when she was barely more than a child. Back when she hadn’t yet learned there were much worse thing to fear. 

Rain. 

Dripping. Drowning. Screaming. Melting. 

Glinda pulls Elphaba across the open courtyard with a bubble snapping at her fingertips. 

Thunder.

Glinda’s brow wrinkles, her hands shake. 

She knows what comes next.

Lightning. 

A crack splits the air, splits her mind, her chest, splits the atoms of her very being open. Sound slams into her like a physical blow as brilliant white fills her vision, electricity sparkling, spraying, burning. 

Glinda can feel it, racing across her skin and stabbing at every nerve, her jaw clenched shut around piercing screams as every inch of her is filled with phantom pain.  Her mind shuts down amidst a whirlpool of fear, until she’s blind to the time, to the place, to the person. 

The storm is inside her, the lightning has consumed her, and as it has so many times before, it shoves her right out of her own body, until only a hollow shell remains-- numb, untouchable, safe from the terror that had ignited in her bones.

“Galinda?” a voice calls. But Glinda…isn’t there anymore. Not quite. Not entirely. She’s just a few inches off, a few inches away, a beat behind when she’s prompted to move or respond. 

The walls have blurred into colorless soup- they could be brown or gold; they could be emerald. She’s breathing, somehow, sitting stiff and silent as always. Like she’s waiting for something. Is she waiting for something? No. Someone. 

Be good, my dear. 

“Yes, Madame.”

Time must pass, but Glinda isn’t there for any of it.

Awareness filters in slowly, bleeding color back into Glinda’s vision enough to tell that the hands on hers are green. “El-Elphaba?”

There’s a soft, relieved sigh from above her. Elphaba’s forehead drops down to rest on Glinda’s, a pressure that helps her remember what it means to be in her own body, to feel. 

“Hi,” Elphaba whispers. 

“Hi,” Glinda says back. 

Really- the sobbing should’ve been expected after that. 

“You know,” Glinda eventually says, after everything’s calmed down a little. “The first time I ever told someone I loved them was during a thunderstorm.” The confession tastes like copper on her tongue, coating her lips in bloody regrets as she curls them into a smile. “I don’t think they realized. It…was a secret.”

I already told you mine.

“I’m sorry,” Elphaba whispers, and Glinda would cry at that if only she had more tears left to give. 

It’s not you who should be sorry. 

“It’s okay. In the end, I didn’t deserve their love.”

And I never will. 

The girls tangle together, sliding down under the covers with limbs pressed to limbs, and back pressed to front. Glinda gives in to her weakness, her selfish desires.

“Stay?” she asks, desperate and wanting. 

And Elphaba, this Elphaba, she does. She stays. She says:

“Always.”

But Glinda, this Glinda, she knows. 

One day you won’t. 

***

At first, all she registers is fuzziness. Glinda’s brain feels sluggish and slow, a cloudy haze meeting her when she pries open her sticky eyelids. She frowns, brow furrowing, wondering why it feels like her limbs are full of lead. 

“Hey,” Elphaba greets softly. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Glinda automatically responds, still a bit sleepy and confused. 

“No, really. How are you feeling? I think you’re running a fever.”

Ah. 

That makes sense. 

Glinda hates being sick. 

She got sick at some point last time, too, didn’t she? She remembers because Elphaba had had to take care of her and- well. Her feelings had been so fresh back then. So wonderful and new. 

History repeats itself. 

“What?” 

Glinda blinks, startled. Did she say that out loud?

“Oh. Just something I’ve heard before,” she explains. 

The day passes in a slow motion blur, Glinda wanting nothing more than to return to the dorm and curl up under the blankets again, if only to stop the persistent bite of cold that nips at her as she pushes through the fever and the weakness. She’s not coughing at least- that’s a bonus. 

Slim mercies. 

Elphaba makes her take the most disgusticifyng medicine of all time, but Glinda knows she’s just trying to be helpful. The medicine doesn’t kick in right away, much to her great disappointment, but at least classes are finally over for the day and she can rest. 

Glinda shuffles close to Elphaba, chasing her warmth, and prays for an easy sleep. She just wants to wake up feeling better, feeling like she’s ready to get moving on the rest of this plan of hers, because it’s been months now and she knows the clock is ticking. 

Waking up to the sensation of bile climbing her throat was very much not what she wanted. 

She barely makes it to the toilet in time, curling over the cold porcelain as her body heaves and spasms and purges whatever scant bits of food she’d managed to consume today. Her magic is fritzing out of control, unable to maintain even the simplest spell. Her oldest, most comforting friend. Her glamour. 

Elphaba comes tumbling into the doorway, and Glinda knows that, for the first time, she sees her. 

Her pathetic cries. Her ugly body. Her tainted soul. 

Glinda’s head is spinning and her eyes are leaking and her lungs are failing. She can barely keep track of what’s going on, where she is, when she is, who she’s with. She hears something about medicine and winces belatedly, turning away when a cup is shoved her way. 

No, no, no. 

Glinda doesn’t want to be drugged again, please. 

I’ll be good, I promise, I’ll be good. 

Clothes are pulled from her body, and Glinda has to stifle a sob, too weak to shove the unwanted hands away. She must already be drugged- that’s the reason she can’t get her limbs to respond correctly, that’s the reason her head is pounding, that’s the reason she keeps losing seconds of time. 

Please, please don’t make me, please. 

“Alright, Galinda, we’re gonna fix this, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” 

Elphaba. Right. Yes. Elphaba. 

…Elphaba?

Glinda is so confused. 

Vaguely, she registers movement, acknowledges that she’s being lifted, perhaps brought back to bed. There’s a rushing sound somewhere nearby or maybe that’s just the blood through her head. 

Glinda tips her head against Elphaba’s skin--skin? bare?--and feels herself being lowered. She almost doesn’t register what the brush of cold is at first, until--

Her eyes fly wide open. Her breath freezes in her chest. Terror wraps itself around her lungs and down her spine and before she even processes the feeling fully, Glinda is screaming.

“NO!” 

The shout comes from deep in her chest, ripped from her so violently it makes her throat ache. Glinda thrashes, world spinning, vision blurring, head pounding as she throws her hands out in desperation, shoving against the first solid thing she comes in contact with. 

She’s never been one for violence, but Glinda puts every inch of strength she has into that shove. She hasn’t felt terror like this in years. Not since-- Not since--

There’s a muted cry, her ears too stuffed to hear right, and the blur of green in front of her topples not out but down. Her feet skid on wet porcelain. Lightning buzzes in her veins.

Elphaba disappears under the water, and Glinda feels two worlds collide. 

“ELPHIE!”

Glinda is falling, is screaming, is bursting from the inside out as her magic flares up inside her with enough force to make every nerve in her body feel like fire. She doesn’t have the energy, she’s empty, barren, weak, but she knows she can’t stop, can’t stop, won’t stop until--

Time freezes. Panic soars. Pain erupts through Glinda’s head as the room turns first brilliant pink and then blindingly white. All sound is snuffed out. All sensation disappears. Something in her chest snaps. 

She doesn’t think it’s ever coming back. 

History repeats itself. 

“No, no, no.”

Glinda scrabbles against the smooth sides of the tub, grabbing at any skin she can reach, running her fingers over them in frantic swipes, inspecting it for imperfections, for burns, for pain. 

“Please-- You can’t-- I can’t-- Please.” 

Blood drips from her nose, exhaustion pulls at her bones, fear swarms every inch of her until she feels liable to shake out of her skin. 

These sobs are different than before. These don’t come from confusion, from repression, from exhaustion or panic or pain. These don’t come from anxiety or memory or guilt.

They come from loss. The type of sobs that had once been torn out of her as she knelt above a puddle. The type of sobs she’s buried in the soft, worn fabric of a stiff, black hat. 

She doesn’t understand. 

The skin beneath her fingers is whole and intact. Not marred in the slightest. Elphaba isn’t in any pain; she’s sitting up and looking at Glinda as though Glinda is the one worth worrying over. 

I can’t do this, she thinks. I can’t. 

Glinda is--

She’s so--

I can’t. 

The faucet turning back on brings the panic back, but Elphaba confidently sticks her foot under the stream, the water passing harmlessly over her green skin. “See?” she says. “It’s just water.”

Just water.

Just…water.

“What if it…wasn’t…just water.”

Oz, Glinda is such a fool.

What had been in that bucket? 

Glinda curses herself, for the millionth time, for letting herself get shoved away, for letting herself hide like a coward, unable to truly see what went down. She saw the aftermath. She heard the story. But she wasn’t there. 

She was hiding, hands clamped over her mouth to keep her own wailing cries from joining Elphaba’s screams. 

The pair climbs out of the tub slowly, Glinda’s mind still feeling like it’s processing at half speed. She lets Elphaba dry her off and bundle her up and pull them into bed together. Everything just feels sluggish and slow, like she’s swimming through molasses just to remember to nod her head and respond when prompted. 

It’s nice, though, in a way. It’s probably just because she’s so sick and exhausted, her body officially having reached a limit and shut down her ability to overreact. But it’s reminiscent of the fog she used to surf to get through the day, only sweeter, softer, with more awareness on Glinda’s part. 

She feels blurred at the edges, fuzzy and warm. She smiles at Elphaba and even finds herself giggling when green fingers tap along her cheeks. 

“Hey, Galinda?” Elphaba asks. “Tell me a secret.”

The words pierce that honeyed barrier around her mind and dig down into her brain. History repeats itself. Or- does it?

Glinda shuffles forward, looking up at Elphaba and taking in the dip of her brows and the slant of her eyes and the curl of her lips. Gorgeous. 

Glinda would do anything for this girl. She will do anything. Anything it takes. Everything it takes. Everything she has. 

A gentle sigh escapes her. “History repeats itself,” Glinda says, those same three words she keeps repeating in her head. “That’s what I’ve always been told.”

Tell me a secret. 

Pink goes good with green. 

Hide yourself!

Glinda sucks in a sharp inhale, eyes flicking over Elphaba’s face again and landing on her lips, remembering the ghost of them pressed against her own, hurried and desperate and scared. A goodbye. They’ve had so many of those in their lives. 

Glinda regrets them all. Every moment she should’ve held on instead of letting go. 

History repeats itself. 

“But- but sometimes, you can change it.”

Promise me!

Be brave, my sweet.

“If only you are brave enough to try.”

Chapter Text

Galinda’s sickness fades slowly, lingering in the poor girl’s system for several long days. On the second day, Elphaba, unfortunately, has to return to class, leaving Galinda behind in their dorm to rest and recover. 

It makes her oddly nervous, the separation anxiety Galinda had suffered from earlier in the semester now filling Elphaba with a restless energy that makes her itch to run back to the dorms. She doesn’t at all enjoy the thought of leaving Galinda alone while she’s still weak. 

What if her fever spikes again? What if she gets dizzy and hurts herself? What if she has another nightmare?

The last part is a new concern, one that had reared its ugly head the previous night. After she’d gotten Galinda bathed and calmed down, Elphaba had hoped the girl would crash and be able to sleep soundly through the night. But the night was far from restful for either of them, Elphaba constantly being jerked awake to Galinda’s muffled cries and shaking form. 

She hadn’t been able to wake her--and a part of her was concerned to try--so she’d had to settle for simply gathering Galinda close and trying to soothe her into more peaceful dreams. Elphaba had always found Galinda’s habit of tucking her fingers over her nose so cute; but it left a sick feeling in her stomach when she saw the way those fingers had clamped down over the girl’s mouth in her sleep, a habit that Elphaba knows must’ve taken many many nightmares to make. 

For the first time in perhaps her entire life, Elphaba finds herself entirely unable to focus during class. She can’t keep her mind on anything but Galinda. The words swim in front of her eyes, none of them sticking in her brain as she reads. Every tick of the clock sounds like a shallow breath, like Galinda struggling through gaspy wheezes. A cough echoes to her right and her head snaps around before she remembers. 

She keeps looking for signs of illness in her classmates--red eyes, flushed cheeks, the wrong kind of shiver--as if her body isn’t quite capable of exiting caretaker mode, her adrenaline spiking with each clearing of a throat or sniffle of a nose.

Elphaba did have to tell the nurse about Galinda, much to the girl’s dismay. But it was the only way to get her excused from classes. The nurse had even gone as far as to give Galinda an exemption from sparring class for the rest of the semester. The fact that Galinda hadn’t protested was alarming in and of itself. A sure sign she was still feeling utterly awful.

Two days. That’s all it had been. And yet Elphaba feels like she’s aged a year.

She isn’t used to fear. Not like this. Not the kind that has her hands shaking under the table or her pen snapping three times in a single hour. Not the kind that makes her afraid to be out of sight, afraid of what might happen in the stretch between breakfast and lunch, between one breath and the next.

The last time she felt like this was--

It was--

A crack in the door. A devastating scream. Red blood on white sheets and the wails of a newborn. 

Elphaba tightens her jaw, fingers curling tightly around her new pen. She hadn’t slept well-- jerking awake with each cough or whine or muffled whimper. The air seems thinner without Galinda nearby. Off-balance. Wrong.

The hours pass achingly slowly, and the relief Elphaba feels when she can finally rush back and have the blonde within reach again is palpable. Galinda, thankfully, has slept for almost the entire day, blinking slowly at Elphaba and smiling sweetly when the older girl crosses the room to check her temperature and ask how she’s feeling. 

They spend the night in Galinda’s bed this time. It doesn’t even occur to Elphaba to sleep in her own. 

The pattern repeats the next day, and the next, and the next. Elphaba knows she’s getting some odd looks from her professors, questioning the way she’s been silent and distracted in class. Her knee bounces under her desk, her notes a scribbled and illegible mess as her mind strays back to the dorms. Even Dr. Dillamond’s class, her favorite, isn’t enough to get her attention. 

None of her professors says anything, but Fiyero is kind enough to check in on her before she escapes back to the dorms for lunch. 

“I’m fine,” Elphaba says quickly, eyes moving past him as impatience fights with politeness. A smirk pulls at the corner of Fiyero’s mouth. 

“You sound like Glinda,” he teases, and Elphaba shoots him a glare before she takes a second and realizes--

“See?” The smirk widens, something close to an actual smile. 

“Whatever. I really am fine. It’s Galinda who’s sick.”

“Just make sure you’re not running yourself into the ground taking care of her. It won’t help Glinda if you get sick, too, you know.”

Elphaba almost snaps at Fiyero, her impatience to get moving starting to win out, before she processes the look of true concern in his eyes. She sighs, closing her eyes and taking a steadying breath. Fiyero is…nice. He is. And he’s their friend. A real one, someone who actually cares beyond just wondering when Galinda will be available for socializing again. 

“Sorry,” Elphaba mumbles, even though she’d managed to stop herself before she said anything rude. 

“It’s alright,” Fiyero says easily. He seems to understand, his stance and face softening as he reaches over and nudges her shoulder slightly. “Take care of yourself, Elphaba. Glinda would hate to see you wearing yourself down like this.”

Especially if it’s for her, neither of them say, but they both hear the words. They both know the blonde far too well. 

“Yeah, of course.” Elphaba adjusts the strap of her bag, sending Fiyero a tight smile and a nod. “Thanks, Fiyero. I’ll talk to you later.”

“See you! And say ‘hi’ to Glinda for me.”

Elphaba nods again, finally skirting past the prince and quickening her steps as she crosses to the staircase. She takes them two at a time, eager to finally get back so she can check on Galinda and make sure she eats something before Elphaba’s final class for the day. 

It’s…sorcery seminar. And if it were anyone but Madame Morrible, Elphaba might seriously consider skipping. But it is Morrible, and despite Galinda’s personal (and still unexplained) feelings surrounding the older woman, Galinda would just be upset if Elphaba offered to skip just to take care of her.

That doesn’t mean Elphaba is any less distracted in class, though. Her mind is just as slippery and wandering as it was in all her other classes, her thoughts far away from the sorcery room and all the way across campus in a dorm lit pink and glowing. 

Really- a little bit of fire was the most likely outcome. 

It wasn’t even a complicated spell-- but it’s one that reminds Elphaba distinctly of Galinda. Of the way she’d looked, beaming at Elphaba over the tiny candle flame in their dorm. The way she’d been so proud of Elphaba, even once she’d mastered it to the point of it being nothing more than an easy wave of her hand. 

She’d tried to show Morrible that-- but her thoughts had skittered away at some point, thinking about Galinda’s smile, about how she hadn’t seen it all day, and somehow, between one breath and the next, the flame had skipped sideways, grazing past the waxy stick and curling hungrily over the arm of one of the seminar room’s wooden chairs.

Morrible extinguished it immediately, of course. A snap of her fingers and a cold rush of air and it was gone. But the scorch mark remained-- black and ugly against polished wood, the smell of singed varnish crawling through the room.

Elphaba stands frozen still, hand clenched at her side, already bracing herself. Across the room, Madame Morrible raises one carefully shaped brow.

“Trouble focusing, Miss Elphaba?”

Elphaba swallows. Her tongue feels too thick for her mouth. “I-I apologize, Madame,” she says, too quickly.

Morrible doesn’t reply at first. She crosses the floor slowly, her heels a soft, deliberate click against the tile. When she reaches the damaged chair, she clicks her tongue judgmentally and waves her hand. The burn mark vanishes.

“You’ve been off this week,” she says mildly. Like she’s talking about the weather. “This isn’t like you.”

Elphaba shifts. Her palms are sweaty. She’s more present in the moment right now than she’s been in days. And she knows, firmly, that Galinda would not want Morrible to know the real reason she’s distracted. 

“It’s just…roommate stuff,” she mutters. That, at least, isn’t a lie.

Morrible looks at her with unreadable eyes. There’s a long pause-- the kind of silence that feels like it’s pulling at your lungs, begging you to give in, to spill all your secrets and lies.

“Miss Upland, yes?” Morrible says at last.

Elphaba nods, cautious. “Nothing to worry about. She’s just, um, helped me with this spell before. And I was thinking of something she said instead of focusing. It won’t happen again.”

Morrible hums. “See that it doesn’t.” She tilts her head, eyes narrowing. “Though-- I wasn’t aware Miss Upland was still…assisting you. And with such advanced spells. I do hope she’s not doing more harm than good.”

The fire spell really isn’t that advanced, but Elphaba doesn’t say that. She doesn’t say anything, actually, just shuffles on her feet and tries to think of words. Galinda had actually been very helpful, perhaps even more than Morrible herself. But Elphaba can’t exactly say that.

Morrible moves back toward the front of the room, her hands clasped behind her back. “We’re getting close now, you know. I’ve received a very encouraging letter from my contact in the Emerald City. The Wizard has expressed interest in meeting you.”

That makes Elphaba look up.

She’d known this was coming-- Morrible had all but promised it during their first session. A special recommendation. A personal audience. The chance to meet the most powerful magical being in all of Oz. It’s everything she’s ever dreamed of.

“This is the kind of opportunity some girls would kill for,” Morrible continues. “An audience with the Wizard!”

Elphaba’s mouth feels dry.

She used to fantasize about meeting him. The Wizard of Oz-- someone who could do magic like hers, maybe even explain it. Someone who might not flinch at green skin, who might even understand it. Who might even change it. 

Someone who could grant her heart’s desire. 

But--

Galinda had never flinched. She’d taken Elphaba’s hand on the very first day and held it like it was something precious. She’d declared that they were friends like it was the most obvious truth in the world. She’d listened to her, trusted her, smiled at her like she wasn’t strange or dangerous or a walking commotion.

If only you are brave enough to try. 

What if Elphaba’s heart desires something different now?

***

By the time Galinda decides to come back to class, Elphaba is seriously starting to feel like her mind is fracturing, torn apart by the force of the sheer hurricane of feelings Galinda has caused her to feel. She tries to shove them aside, to focus on the problem at hand, not on the confusing whirlwind happening inside her heart. 

Elphaba knows it’s Galinda’s decision to come back. Galinda’s the only one who can know if she’s ready. So Elphaba bites her tongue and doesn’t ask are you sure? or what if it’s too much? But that doesn’t mean she isn’t thinking it, watching Galinda get dressed and go through her usual ten-step routine. 

Her arms are shaking so badly as she tries to pin her hair back that Elphaba eventually has to calmly intervene-- taking the pin and carefully finishing Galinda’s usually twist-back style. 

“Thank you,” Galinda whispers, and Elphaba can tell how much she hates this, how much she hates feeling like a burden. 

“Always,” she says back. 

They take their time going to the dining hall, Galinda having asked if they could time it away from when she knew her usual crowd would be there. ShenShen and Pfannee had both been by the dorm to check on Galinda while she was out of class, spreading the news that she was sick (but not contagious!) and wouldn’t be around for a couple of days. 

But Elphaba knows she’ll still get swarmed by her army of fans the moment they realize she’s back. She’ll likely get a million comments and questions and invitations to new events. She knows it would be a lot for anyone, let alone someone who still gets fatigued just writing a few notes for class. 

She’s dressed immaculately-- hair in its usual halo of curls, uniform pressed, smile unwavering when they pass someone in the hall. To any other observer, she might look the same as always: radiant and composed, the very picture of poise.

But Elphaba sees it.

The stiffness in her posture. The tightness of her grip on her bag strap. The way her mouth trembles at the corners when she thinks no one’s watching. She’s leaning on Elphaba where she has one hand looped through her arm. Just slightly. Not enough to be noticeable. But enough to make Elphaba’s stomach turn.

When they get to the dining hall, Galinda stays with Elphaba, even when the older girl suggests she go ahead and sit down-- winded already despite the short walk. Galinda just shakes her head mutely, fisting her hand into the back of Elphaba’s uniform so the girl has both hands free. 

“Anything catch your eye?” Elphaba prompts, even though she knows Galinda will--predictably--shake her head ‘no.’

Swallowing her sigh, Elphaba just gathers a tray of simple things that will be easy on the stomach. Plain toast, a banana, and some porridge with cinnamon sprinkled on top. 

Galinda liked cinnamon the last time, but Elphaba watches her dip her spoon in and let the porridge slide off over and over and feels her chest squeeze painfully with concern. It’s been doing that a lot lately. 

“You have to eat something, Galinda,” she pleads. They’ve had this conversation more than once in the past few days. In the past few weeks, really . Galinda’s body can’t recover when it’s so weak and malnourished. 

Galinda’s fingers tighten around her spoon, mouth opening and closing as she tries--and fails--to come up with words. She nods, finally, a tiny dip of her chin, and brings the spoonful to her mouth. 

It’s…almost painful to witness. Stifling and awkward, made even worse by the weight of Elphaba’s gaze. She regrets it immediately, watching the corners of Galinda’s eyes pinch and her throat spasm as she works to swallow without gagging. 

Oz, Galinda…

Elphaba doesn’t apologize--though she very much wants to--but only because she has a feeling it would make the tears gathered against Galinda’s eyelids finally fall. 

There’s a beat where Galinda takes several sharp inhales through her nose, and Elphaba genuinely worries about whether she should grab a trash can or something. 

“Are you--”

“I’m fine,” Galinda says. The words are quick. Bright. Too quick and bright.

Elphaba doesn’t believe her for a second. She wants to say something--anything--but all her usual words have abandoned her. Logic doesn’t help here. She’s starting to realize, slowly, that there’s no right combination of syllables that can convince someone to take care of themselves.

And there’s no right combination of syllables that can convince her to stop worrying. 

“You don’t have to go,” Elphaba says, and hates how brittle she sounds. “We can say you aren’t ready.”

“I am ready,” Galinda says. It’s immediate. Reflexive. Almost angry. A snap of sound that surprises them both. 

She blinks like she didn’t mean it to come out that way and smooths her hands down her skirt. “I mean, I have to be. I can’t miss anything else, Elphaba, I just-- I can’t.”

She presses her lips together tightly, almost as if she’s scared to say anything else. Elphaba nods through the pain of her stomach twisting into a knot. At what point will Galinda trust her? Enough to really say what she means? 

They head to class slowly, side by side. Elphaba adjusts her pace to match Galinda’s, not that she says anything about it. Galinda keeps talking, at first---trying to carry the conversation with her usual level of mindless, enthusiastic rambling--but her voice grows thinner the farther they go.

By the time they reach the steps outside the lecture hall, Galinda is nearly silent. Her breathing is shallow. Her face is pale under its usual powder. She grips Elphaba’s arm like it’s the only thing keeping her upright. Elphaba opens the door for her, but Galinda doesn’t move, still catching her breath from the short walk.

Elphaba watches her closely. “Let’s just go back,” she says, low.

Galinda straightens, as much as she can. “No- I’m fi--”

“Please don’t say you’re fine.”

Galinda blinks, startled. She tilts her head to look up at Elphaba, taking in her pinched expression. And for just a moment, the mask slips. Something raw and exhausted flickers behind her eyes, something so small and unguarded it nearly breaks Elphaba open.

But then it’s gone, and Galinda takes a deep breath, straightens her shoulders, and brushes invisible lint off her sleeve. “It’ll be okay, Elphaba,” she says softly. “I promise.”

Elphaba feels something vicious and wild tangle around her throat, strangling her of air or words. She doesn’t know what it is-- just that it floods her system like fear, like running desperately towards someone falling and knowing you’ll never catch them in time. 

Like her body knows, deep down, that even Galinda doesn’t truly believe in her promise. 

***

Galinda makes it through the day. Barely- but she makes it. She’s exhausted by the end, having had to field more than a few crowds of tittering fans as they pestered her about her sickness and being back and whether she wanted to do XYZ or go see ABC or whatever it is they talk about when Elphaba isn’t paying attention. 

Back at their room, Elphaba helps her onto the bed and tugs the blanket up around her shoulders. The fact that Galinda lets herself be coaxed under a blanket with her school uniform still on is yet another worrying sign. 

“I’m sorry,” Galinda keeps saying. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

“I know,” Elphaba replies softly. “You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

There’s a long silence. Galinda plays with the edge of the blanket. Elphaba knows that it kills her to have to keep being taken care of like this. She’d tried hard to be independent the last few days, constantly apologizing for making Elphaba have to bring her food or help her move around. Elphaba knows the constant vigilance is taking its own toll on her as well, and she’s been desperately trying to hide it to keep Galinda from feeling any more guilt. 

Elphaba sits at the end of the bed, long legs drawn up under her. She reaches for Galinda’s hand and holds it gently in both of hers, running her thumb across the girl’s pale knuckles. Eventually, she sighs, lifting her arm so she can press a gentle kiss to their joined hands. 

“You scared me,” she says. “You-- You were really sick, Galinda.”

Galinda doesn’t respond, but her head drops lower to her chest. Elphaba doesn’t want to make her feel bad; she really doesn’t. But she wants Galinda to understand how important she is to her. Why Elphaba cares and worries so much, seeing her push herself like this. 

“I didn’t know what to do,” Elphaba admits. “I’ve never-- I mean, I’ve taken care of Nessa before, but not like-- It’s not--” She stops. Clears her throat. Drops her voice. “It was really bad. That’s all.”

Galinda doesn’t move, but her grip tightens around Elphaba’s fingers. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. Her voice is cracked and raw and thick with tears. It pierces right through the most sensitive parts of Elphaba, and she hates herself for saying anything, even as she knows it was necessary to get it off her chest. 

Elphaba lets out a breath and presses her forehead to Galinda’s knuckles.

“I know.”

Chapter Text

Galinda steps back into her usual schedule with an ease that immediately makes Elphaba suspicious. Classes, club meetings, study circles, social tea. “I have a lot of catching up to do!” she chirps, breezing right past Elphaba when the older girl tries to tell her to slow down. 

The thing is-- Elphaba knows it’s all a mask now. She can’t get the image of Galinda in that bathroom out of her head. Her sickly appearance, too frail and thin by far, her bones jutting out, her skin sallow, her eyes hollow and distant. She’d looked half-dead. 

It’s a far cry from the Galinda who goes sweeping into the dining hall with her posse on her heels, skin glowing nearly as golden as her hair in the morning light. She looks just as poised as she did prior to the illness- and something about that deeply unsettles Elphaba. 

She knows makeup can cover a lot. But…that much? Is it really all just clever amounts of makeup and carefully selected wardrobes? Galinda’s full-length sleeves hide her thin wrists and sharp shoulders. Her concealer masks the dark circles under her eyes. She puts on a grin that’s bright and white and charms anyone into believing she’s as perfect as can be. 

Only Elphaba seems to see the signs. The subtle difference in her posture, stiff as she leans against her chair or braces herself on a desk. The heaviness of her footfalls that at the beginning of the semester used to bounce. A laugh that feels brittle around the edges, exhaustion pulling on every grin. Even her cheerful chatter has slowed, Galinda’s beautiful voice rarely heard above the clamor of her friends. 

These same ‘friends’ hadn’t even noticed or cared about Galinda’s declining health. They’d been more interested in telling her how “lucky” she was to get out of class for several days. Lucky! It makes Elphaba’s blood boil. But Galinda is just too good at performing. Only Elphaba seems to notice the strained breaths, the skipped meals, the pressed lips and subtle swaying.  

For all that she’s been going around telling everyone she’s “great” now, Elphaba knows Galinda isn’t even close to fully healed or fully healthy. Her sickness took a lot out of her when she already didn’t have much to give. It leaves Elphaba with a permanent ball of stress in her stomach, making her fretful and anxious as she watches over the girl. 

Even now, as they sit at a table in the library, Elphaba is paying more attention to Galinda than to the assignment she’s meant to be finishing. It almost makes her laugh. Who would’ve thought Elphaba of all people would let some silly little crush get in the way of her studies? 

Except it’s not just some silly little crush, her mind whispers. It’s more than that. So much more. 

Elphaba shakes her head, forcing her gaze down towards her book. Finals are approaching, and the entire campus has started humming with that nervous, anticipatory energy that always comes with exam season. The library is already busier than usual; the first wave of students will only increase more and more as each day passes. Elphaba is one of very few not thinking about finals.

She’s thinking about Galinda, pale and tired-looking as she flips mindlessly through her large textbook, not even pretending to take notes.

“You should lie down,” Elphaba murmurs.

Galinda doesn’t look up. “I’m okay.”

“You’re not,” Elphaba argues softly. “You look--”

“Tired?” Galinda offers, her smile cracked and wry. “Ugly? A bit of a wreck?”

“…overextended,” Elphaba replies, ever diplomatic. Her lips twist. “Never ugly.”

Galinda’s smile twitches, then fades. Her eyes flick up briefly. “Well. Can’t let everyone down now, can I?”

Elphaba frowns. She wants to argue, to say you don’t have to prove anything to them, to anyone. But Galinda has always been like this-- driving herself too hard, too fast. As if her body’s most basic needs are a failing to be corrected.

Or a clock she’s racing against.

There’s something desperate in her these days, a breathless push toward a finish line Elphaba can’t see. A plan she hasn’t been told. A grief she isn’t allowed to know.

Because that’s the thing. Galinda is still grieving. That much, Elphaba knows for sure. Not who or how or when-- but she knows that shadow, the way it clings to Galinda, ever present even at her brightest. It’s part of why Elphaba knows it’s too early to speak the words sitting on her tongue. 

(The other part is cowardice, but she can’t even admit that one to herself.)

Elphaba watches Galinda turn another page without reading it. She sighs and stands, gathering her books as Galinda looks up, curious. “I’m going to go to the restricted section,” Elphaba says pointedly, tipping her head toward the door near the back of the library. “If you would like to join me.”

Restricted section is essentially just code for window seat nap spot. They’d camped out there for study sessions or to hide from Galinda’s posse more than once since that first time when Galinda had fallen asleep on Elphaba’s lap. As Elphaba starts to head toward the entrance, she hears Galinda scramble to get her things together and follow. 

Despite it only being a few yards to catch up, Galinda is panting and has to grab Elphaba’s arm to steady herself as they sneak into the supposed-to-be-locked section and close the door quietly. Elphaba eyes the staircase they have to take to get up a level to the window seat she’d found and makes a quick decision, stuffing her books in her bag and pulling it around to the front of her body. 

“Here,” she beckons, crouching slightly and looking over her shoulder. “Hop on. I’ll give you a ride up.”

“Elphaba, I can walk up a flight of stairs.”

“Just- just take the ride, Galinda.”

Let me help you. 

Galinda huffs, bobbing from foot to foot for a second before she rolls her eyes and acquiesces. “I’m wearing a skirt,” she grumbles, clinging to Elphaba’s shoulder as the taller girl hoists her into the air. She’s still alarmingly light, but Elphaba will never get tired of the way she just seems to sink right into her, relaxing the second she’s held. 

She climbs the stairs slowly, wanting to savor the moment of closeness. The feeling of having Galinda safe in her arms, not running off or pushing past her limits. Just- here. With Elphaba. She knows it’s selfish to feel so possessive, but…a part of Elphaba never wants to let Galinda go. 

She slides the blonde off directly onto the padded seat, Galinda blinking up at her slowly, like the short trip had nearly put her to sleep. The late afternoon sun makes everything a little orange and hazy, but Elphaba’s grown used to the way the sight of Galinda makes her heart do tumbles in her chest, her breath stolen by the beauty of the girl in front of her. 

Used to it…but never over it. 

“Just a short nap,” Galinda concedes. Elphaba settles down beside her, taking both their bags and laying them at their feet. The window seat isn’t made for lying on, but Galinda is just small enough that she can curl up on her side, her head in Elphaba’s lap. 

It feels like a lifetime ago-- the first time they did this. Right after the first breakdown or whatever that was that happened in Dillamond’s classroom. Galinda had been a zombie all day, and Elphaba had finally coaxed her into a nap. The feeling of the other girl’s body so close, her breath ghosting over Elphaba’s skin, her chest pushing against Elphaba’s legs with each exhale. 

Those had all been so foreign back then. Now, the feeling of Galinda snuggling in and getting comfortable feels as natural as anything. There’s no stiffness or awkwardness. Elphaba isn’t holding her breath, careful of every movement or noise. She knows the exact rhythm of Galinda’s breathing as she settles, the soft hums she makes as Elphaba cracks a book open and starts to read. 

She knows the second Galinda falls asleep. 

Elphaba keeps reading for a few more minutes, just to make sure. But eventually, her voice trails off. Her eyes wander, even as one hand keeps carding softly through Galinda’s hair. Elphaba looks out the window at Shiz, a different landscape with the change of the seasons compared to the first time they did this. 

Back then, Shiz had still been clinging to the last bits of summer, green and golden and warm. Now, it’s heading swiftly for Gillikin’s early winter, brown and barren and cold. The wind off the river rustles through the trees; the sky overhead is grey and dull. 

Winter break is fast approaching. Shiz offers a generous break, long enough that most of the students--all of them from Gillikin--can travel home to their families for the holidays. Elphaba knows that despite the distance, Nessarose and Fiyero both plan on leaving, being able to afford quick transportation. Galinda hasn’t mentioned anything yet, but- it would make sense if she did, too. 

Elphaba tries to imagine the campus without Galinda.

Tries to imagine returning to Munchkinland, the long boat ride home, her father’s disapproving silence. The servants’ tight-lipped comments. Nessa’s brittle attempts to understand her. No Galinda beside her in the dorm. No living sunshine to tell her it’s tomorrow. No dimpled smile to brighten her day. 

She’s not sure she can do it.

She’s not sure she wants to.

The thought of being apart for even a few weeks feels wrong. Like leaving the house and wondering if you left the oven on or a fire unattended. 

Elphaba looks down at Galinda, admiring her sleeping form, the way her fingers curl softly against her cheek.

How had she gotten so attached, so quickly?

Elphaba has lived her entire life at arm’s length from other people. She’s been mocked, feared, dismissed, avoided. Love was something she’d read about in books. Admiration, a thing she only knew how to extend to others but never expected in return.

But…Galinda is different. She likes Elphaba. Not just tolerates her. Likes her. She has from that very first day. For absolutely no reason at all, it was Elphaba who Galinda had approached and declared she would be friends with. She makes Elphaba feel normal. And wanted. And brave. 

She is the only person Elphaba has ever met who makes her feel like she is enough.

And Elphaba loves her.

It isn’t a question anymore. It isn’t a secret churning through her head late at night. It’s a fact.

It’s just…she can feel, deep down, that Galinda doesn’t fully trust her. Not with everything. Perhaps not even with the most important things. There are walls Elphaba hasn’t climbed yet. Whole parts of Galinda’s life she hasn’t been allowed to see. And Elphaba knows that now isn’t the time to push.

So she won’t tell her. Not yet.

Elphaba will wait until Galinda’s ready. However long that takes. 

***

With winter on the horizon, finals aren’t the only thing on the students’ minds. Elphaba was one of the first to hear the buzz, Galinda having been obsessing over it for weeks, even prior to getting sick. 

“The Snowball is going to be the grandest event Shiz has hosted in years!” she’d say, shuffling through the many, many papers on her desk. “This will be the inaugural year, which will be just enticing enough to hopefully draw a good crowd from all over Oz!”

Elphaba wasn’t entirely sure why the school needed to host a winter ball where students from any Ozian college could attend--personally, she felt that it was a bit much, even for people like Galinda, to travel to Shiz just for a fancy dance--but the announcement had immediately brought a flood of excitement from the students. It was THE premier social event of the season! 

…or so Elphaba was told. 

Since the announcement and initial enthusiasm, things had largely died down a little. But break was creeping ever closer, and the Snowball had recently exploded in popularity once again. Why? Because apparently, now was the perfect time for the gentleman to start asking the ladies to be their dates. 

“I don’t understand why we even need dates,” Elphaba grumbles. Another upperclassman had just asked a pretty redhead out in the quad. There’d been flowers and a sign and even a bit of singing-- altogether more flair than necessary. “It’s just a dance.”

“It’s not just anything, Elphaba!” Galinda scolds. She’s scribbling something in that pink notebook of hers she’s taken to bringing everywhere. Elphaba could almost swear she was tracking everyone who got asked out. “And it’s a ball, not a dance. Surely a governor’s daughter understands the difference.”

“A ball is just a stuffy dance.”

Galinda sighs loudly, shaking her head. “Hopeless,” she mutters fondly. Elphaba pretends not to hear her. She has a question that’s been on her mind all week, watching these proposals happen. After all- if having a date to the ball is so important…why hasn’t anyone asked Galinda?

Unless, of course, she’s already taken. 

“Has, um, has anyone asked you to the dance?” Elphaba hedges. “Like, I mean, I’m just curious. Maybe…Fiyero?”

Elphaba can’t help the sharp sting of jealousy that hits her when she says Fiyero’s name. And she hates it- because she likes Fiyero. She does! It’s just…she sees how easy it is for him. To dance his way through life, never having to care what other people think because he knows their thoughts don’t matter to him in the slightest. 

And she sees how well he gets on with Galinda. How perfect they look dancing together under the Ozdust lights or laughing over some silly joke. They just…click. Effortlessly. Fiyero is kind, and funny, and handsome, and rich. He’s a literal prince. He’s everything a girl like Galinda could possibly ask for, and he seems to really like Galinda. 

Enough to spend so much time with her. From what Elphaba has read and seen of boys, they don’t often spend time around gorgeous single girls like Galinda unless there’s something else they’re hoping for. And Elphaba sees Galinda, too. Sees the way she sometimes looks at Fiyero, with this deep, aching sort of fondness, like she feels more than she can possibly say. 

So. Jealousy. Elphaba can’t help but feel it, just a little. 

“I-- what? Fiyero?” Galinda’s brow scrunches together briefly before her eyes blow wide, and she shakes her head several times. “No, no! No- I, we’re not, I haven’t-- no.” She giggles nervously, a crackly little sound unlike any Elphaba has heard before. 

“Oh, sorry. I just- I mean, I assumed--”

“No, no, I lo-- Fiyero’s lovely, he is. I’ve not- um. I mean, I’m not--” Galinda shakes her head again and plasters on a stiff smile. “I’m one of the organizers of the event. I’m much too busy to be anyone’s date, really.”

“Oh. That…that seems a bit unfair, doesn’t it? You should get to enjoy it, too.”

“It’s fine, really! I much prefer it this way, I do.” Galinda nods rapidly, but it still looks stiff and fake. Elphaba bites her inner cheek, fighting the urge to duck her head as her cheeks darken at the awkward conversation she’s trapped herself in. 

“You, um--” Galinda pauses, eyes flicking to the side and back again, not quite meeting Elphaba’s gaze. “You could go with Fiyero. If- if you wanted to.”

“I--” 

What?!

Elphaba’s cheeks turn even darker, nearly burning with heat. She’s the one to shake her head vigorously this time, even going as far to put her hands up. “No, no, no,” she stutters. “I don’t-- I’m not-- yeah. I mean no. I mean-- I don’t want to date Fiyero!”

She slams her mouth shut hard enough to make her teeth rattle, cringing at how awful that rambly mess just sounded. Galinda is staring at her now, and Elphaba resists the urge to bring her hands to her face to check if her cheeks are actually on fire. 

“I…didn’t mean it like that,” Galinda says softly. She nibbles at her bottom lip, rocking subtly on her heels. “At least-- I don’t think I did…”

She says it so pensively, her gaze turning oddly distant, that Elphaba’s befuddlement over the whole situation only grows. She shakes her head again, like maybe if she does it hard enough, it’ll reboot her brain into something resembling cohesive thought. 

“I didn’t mean it like-- I know you didn’t mean that. Fiyero would obviously never date me. I meant, like, um, I don’t need to be his date. Or him, mine. For the Snowball! Or- or ever.” 

Fucking Oz. 

“Oh.”

Galinda looks up, frowning slightly. “Don’t say that. Fiyero would…I mean he- he might--”

“No, really, Galinda,” Elphaba cuts off. She takes a breath to steady herself, reaching out to put a hand on Galinda’s arm, stilling the nervous fidgeting she’s not sure Galinda realizes she’s doing. “It’s fine. I- I’m not interested in Fiyero. That’s all.”

Trying to salvage the situation, she offers Galinda a small smile. “Why don’t we just go to the Snowball together?”

“I-- What?”

“Well, I know you said you’re helping organize it, but you’re still going, right?”

Galinda blinks blankly and nods. “Uh huh.”

“Then let’s go together. Just you and me.” When that still gets nothing but a wide-eyed stare, Elphaba feels her cheeks start to flush again. “I- I mean--”

“Elphaba Thropp,” Galinda breathes, and Elphaba can’t tell if she sounds teasing or fond or what. “Are you asking me to be your date to the Snowball?”

Every thought in Elphaba’s brain screeches to an abrupt halt, her cheeks getting darker and darker as Galinda’s smile gets wider and wider. Elphaba stutters out several incomprehensible syllables of nothingness, her heart flip flopping in her chest because there’s-- there’s something about the way--

There’s just something about the way Galinda had asked, about the smile on her face, about the subtle brush of pink on her cheeks that matches her blouse, that makes Elphaba want to say yes. 

So. 

She does. 

“I mean- sure. We-we can do that, right? Just go as two…friends?”

There’s the tiniest twitch to Galinda’s expression, almost like the tips of her lips turn down slightly before she’s beaming, nodding so quickly Elphaba is sure it was just a trick of her vision. “Of course!” Galinda chirps, and she’s already flipping her notebook open to scribble something new down. 

“The girls all having escorts is super old-fashioned, anyway. Not everyone is doing it, especially us first years. Why- I happen to have it on good authority that Pfannee isn’t asking any of the girls! A lot of us are going to be breaking the mold this winter.”

Elphaba has a feeling there’s perhaps a slightly different reason for Pfannee not wanting to ask a girl to the ball, but she’ll keep that one to herself for now. She knows Galinda likes Pfannee, she does. And Elphaba doesn’t think Galinda is really like that, she doesn’t. But--

She’s Gillikenese. Northern Gillikenese. From a small mountain town. And from an old maternal line. Elphaba is no expert, but she’s heard the rumors. She knows the type. And if she brings it up, if she opens the floor to that kind of conversation with Galinda, then she- she might stumble into--

No. Don’t go there. 

Elphaba bit down on her inner cheek hard enough to hurt. It was getting so much harder to stay focused around Galinda these days. It was getting so much harder to pretend.

“…and don’t forget!” Elphaba tunes back in just in time to hear, “that we’re all going shopping in the city this weekend! No one wants to be worrying about dresses during finals.”

“Oh, well, I’m sure I have something in my closet that will work. Can’t I just rewear what you made me for the welcome weekend?”

Galinda’s utterly affronted and frankly horrified expression makes it abundantly clear that Elphaba’s suggestion is about as reasonable as expecting a snowstorm in the summer. In Quadling Country. “You take that back!” she gasps, hand over her breast like she’s been sent reeling at the mere suggestion. 

Her eyes are wide, her mouth is gaped, her brows are slanted. Elphaba abruptly feels all of her organs turn to goo at the fondness that floods her system. Galinda is…Galinda. And sometimes she’s frustrating or mystifying or stress-inducing. But sometimes she’s just so fucking adorable. 

Knowing a lost cause when she sees one, Elphaba manages only the barest of eye rolls, her lips already pulling into a smile. “Fine,” she concedes, squashing down the almost nauseous wave of unbearable affection that rolls through her when Galinda all but squeals with delight. 

“I didn’t think you’d fold that easily!” the blonde crows triumphantly, her whole body wiggling slightly before she seems to catch herself and freeze, a blush spreading across her face. 

Elphaba doesn’t bother trying to hide her amusement. “You’ve dragged me out shopping plenty of times before,” she reminds, curious as to why this seems to make Galinda so excited. She hasn’t seen her so energetic and animated in what feels like…ages now. She briefly thinks that she would agree to anything to see Galinda look so alive again.

“This is different!” Galinda says. “This isn’t just casual clothes and random trinkets and something other than those Oz-awful blue shirts you keep wearing.”

…what’s wrong with blue shirts?

“This is a proper occasion!” Galinda’s eyes are sparkling, lit up and full of glee. Her dimple is popping out in full force under the strength of her smile. “For the first time, I’ll get to see you, Elphaba Thropp, in a BALLGOWN!”

Elphaba stares. 

Elphaba swallows. 

Elphaba feels her smile start to waver. 

…shit. 

*** 

The trip into Shiz City’s biggest shopping district ends up being way more involved than Elphaba expected. There’s a whole gaggle of students coming along, and instead of being a private trip with Galinda like Elphaba had pictured, it’s instead a rowdy group of college kids trying not to capsize the boat into the water as they head downstream. 

It’s chilly on the river, the autumn breeze snapping at them. Elphaba pulls her thick black coat tighter around herself and frowns over at Galinda on the other end of the boat. She’s nodding along to something Milla is saying, the other girl talking a mile a minute, and as per usual, she’s wearing a pretty pink dress that floats to only mid-thigh. 

She has on tights today, at least. But they’re thin and useless, the breeze surely cutting right through them. And instead of a long coat like Elphaba, Galinda had opted for a sort of strange cardigan thing that, while made with heavy wool, is so loose-knit it can’t possibly be retaining any heat. She looks beautiful. But she also looks like she’s freezing. 

Ridiculous, Elphaba thinks. Maybe while they’re shopping in the city, they can buy Galinda some proper winter clothes. It’s almost impressive how much stuff Galinda owns that simply isn’t practical in the slightest. Although- it’s perhaps even more impressive that Galinda doesn’t actually seem that bothered by the cold. 

She’s not even shivering!

Elphaba shakes her head, tearing her gaze away from Galinda and settling it back on the water. She can see the docks looming up ahead, plenty of them already packed full of other people’s boats who were just as eager to get to the city for a fun weekend outing. The group disembarks without issue, and Elphaba finds an arm sneaking around hers just moments after her boots touch solid ground. 

“This is going to be great!” Galinda exclaims, beaming up at Elphaba. Behind her, ShenShen and Pfannee nod along, jabbering something in agreement that Elphaba easily blocks out. She looks down at Galinda instead, taking in the genuine joy in her expression. 

And- it might not be what she’d been hoping for for the weekend. But she’s sure it’ll still be a good time. Besides. Isn’t this what she’d always wanted? To just be a part of the crowd?

Galinda leads the way like she always does, with that particular blend of bounce and decorum that turns heads. Even outside of the University, she’s got a way of drawing people to her, like a magnet nobody would ever want to turn off. Elphaba trails just half a step behind, letting Galinda tug on her arm a bit. It’s easier to watch Galinda when the blonde doesn’t know she’s looking.

Elphaba’s been doing that a lot lately-- watching Galinda. Studying the way she holds herself up when she’s tired, the way she straightens her spine whenever they pass someone she knows. The faint shadow that still lingers in her expression, over a week after the fever broke.

Elphaba is glad that Galinda seems so excited for this little outing. But even as she grins fondly at the gasp of delight Galinda makes when she sees the way the city has started decorating for the upcoming harvest festival, she can’t help but feel that familiar seed of worry start to worm itself back into attention. 

Galinda is pushing herself too hard again; Elphaba can feel it. Every word she says is a little too quick, a little too full of sparkly deflection. Like she’s trying to keep up with something only she can see. A clock Elphaba isn’t privy to.

“Elphaba, here! Look!” 

But-- what is she supposed to do about it? What more can she do other than be there for Galinda and hope her support is enough to keep her from falling? 

“It’s gorgeous,” Elphaba remarks, watching Galinda run her finger reverently over the glittering edge of an artisan’s creation, tracing the maple leaf shape. There are several of these booths lining the cobbled streets of the market, growing more sparse as they get further into the city and toward the bigger, more glamorous stores. 

“Oh, I just love harvest season,” Galinda sighs, a wistful note to her voice as she leans against Elphaba’s side. The carefully crafted artwork perfectly replicates a fallen leaf, complete with a mix of golden orange colors, delicate veining, and frosted white edges. 

Despite her clear desire, Galinda manages to pass on from the beautiful glass leaf, though Elphaba makes sure to mark the booth in her mind in case she needs any ideas for the upcoming holiday. The harvest festival would mark the end of autumn, and once winter started, it wouldn’t be long until Lurlinema came. 

They continue on their way, heading away from market stands and more toward proper storefronts, the glass windows displaying all manner of items to tempt the shoppers’ minds. Plenty of Galinda’s friends had already veered course to purchase something new, but the blonde had stayed determined to her path. 

“You really don’t have to buy me a dress,” Elphaba mumbles again, though by this point she’s largely resigned to whatever Galinda has in store.

“But I want to!”

“It’s just a school event. I’m not going to look much different whether I wear something new or not.”

“You’ll look beautiful,” Galinda says without missing a beat.

Elphaba blinks.

It’s said so casually, so matter-of-fact. Admiring Galinda, being taken off guard by the sheer beauty of Galinda-- that Elphaba can get used to. But having herself appreciated in return? Well. That- that just made no sense. 

Galinda finally looks up, her smile small but genuine. “Come on. The dressmaker’s right around the corner.”

The shop is warm inside, all scented fabric and bright lights and girls laughing softly over pinned hems. Galinda is in her element, cooing over textures and coaxing Elphaba into trying things she never would have picked up herself. She doesn’t push too hard, though, and she asks before pulling anything too pink or sparkly.

“Galinda,” Elphaba says at one point, not even bothering to try and to soften the long-suffering sigh. Galinda blushes, cheeks nearly the same color as the dress she’d tried holding up. 

“But- pink goes good with green!”

“Goes well- and that doesn’t mean I want to wear a whole dress of it. Why don’t you keep something like that in mind for yourself?”

Galinda’s nose wrinkles slightly. “Oh no- this wouldn’t work for me at all,” she says, quickly putting the dress back on the rack. Elphaba isn’t sure whether to be offended or amused at the girl’s clear disdain for something she was about to suggest for Elphaba. 

She supposes she should just count herself lucky that she’d managed to convince Galinda away from the even more ridiculously overpriced custom options, insisting they simply didn’t have the time for all the measurements and appointments before the ball. 

“Alright,” Galinda had conceded. “But you have to let me tailor it myself!”

And as much as she didn’t want to add anything else to Galinda’s plate, Elphaba knew her only possible response was: “Promise.”

So now, they’re perusing through the store’s admittedly quite vast array of fabrics and designs that in some ways resemble a gown. Not that Elphaba is any expert. She’s about halfway through pretending to examine a sleeve detail when she hears it.

“Excuse me--excuse me--I’m going to have to ask you to wait outside.”

The voice is sharp. Annoyed. Too loud for this little shop of politeness and pleasantry. Elphaba’s turning before she even realizes her curiosity’s been piqued.

Near the door, an Animal--a female Gazelle it appears--is standing uncertainly with half her body inside, dressed plainly but neatly. A shop attendant is blocking her path, arms crossed, voice wobbling in that fake-polite way people use when they’re about to do something awful and want to sound justified.

“Oh, I’m just- I’m just picking up a dress,” the Gazelle says, voice light and measured. “It’s already paid for.”

“I understand, but we have customers--human customers--inside right now. They’re shopping for a special occasion and won’t wish to be disturbed.”

“You’re suggesting that my mere presence would be a disturbance to your customers?” The Gazelle’s ears droop a bit in disappointment, but her voice says this isn’t a surprise. 

“I’m asking you to please wait your turn,” the attendant hisses. “Surely anyone civilized would understand.” It appears the attendant has given up on the fakeness as more and more customers turned their heads toward the scene. 

The Gazelle says nothing. Neither does anyone else. The shop, so full of chatter a moment ago, has gone still and quiet and small. Elphaba feels a strange buzzing take hold of her, a righteous, indignant sort of energy that urges her to take a step forward.

Galinda’s hand on her arm stops her.

Elphaba stiffens. “Did you see that?” she whispers harshly. 

“I did,” Galinda says quietly.

“I’m going to--”

“Elphaba,” Galinda says, still so soft, “please don’t.”

Elphaba turns sharply to look at her.

Galinda’s hand is still on her arm, gently pressing, gently pleading. Her expression is calm. But her eyes-- they’re swirling with a mix of emotions, turbulent and conflicted.

She’s angry, too. Elphaba can see it mixed in there. A fire that matches the one building in her own veins. But she isn’t moving. Content to stand and watch, silently, just like the rest of the shop. 

“Why not?” Elphaba hisses. “She’s done nothing wrong.”

“I know.”

“Then why--”

“Because this shop is full of people. And that attendant is just waiting for a real reason to ban that Gazelle. Permanently.” Galinda’s voice is low, urgent. “You stepping in right now gives them the scene they’re looking for.”

Elphaba opens her mouth, furious--

But Galinda’s hand tightens warningly. This shop is full of people, Elphaba hears again. She darts a glance sideways, noticing the other students around them. Some have gone determinedly back to their shopping, trying to ignore what’s happening near the door. Some are giggling under their breath from behind a clothing rack just nearby. And some others are making faces, whispering to each other in a way that makes Elphaba’s hands curl into fists. 

Is this what Galinda sees? Is this what she cares about? Not the injustice happening right in front of her…but the people she may offend by speaking out? It doesn’t matter if, deep down, she knows that’s not who Galinda is. Can see the fraught emotions in her eyes. 

It’s who she’d rather the world see her as. Always caring more about what other people may think than what she really wants. Elphaba has always admired so many things about Galinda. But this…this makes her chest twist in an altogether different kind of way. 

“Please, Elphaba,” Galinda tries. “You can’t just go fly-- You can’t be so impulsive. Think this through. We’ll get the Gazelle’s dress for her, that way, everyone wins, okay?”

“She doesn’t,” Elphaba growls. Her muscles flex, straining against Galinda’s grip, but her feet don’t move. She’s torn-- trying to figure out whether to do what she knows is right or listen to the girl beside her. 

It’s just--

That look in the Gazelle’s eyes. That resigned weariness in her voice. Like a part of her had been expecting that sort of treatment. Grown used to it. Accepted it, even. It reminded Elphaba of the way she’d been before…well, before Galinda. 

How can the girl who made her feel so welcomed for the very first time turn around and allow such treatment to happen to someone else? Someone who isn’t even hideodeous or strange, but simply…different. 

“It isn’t right,” Elphaba says, one last time. But the fight has drained out of her. The Gazelle has already turned to walk away, and everyone else seems to be relieved to have avoided any further dramatics. Galinda sighs beside her and bumps Elphaba’s shoulder with her forehead. 

“I know,” she replies. 

Galinda gently tugs Elphaba back toward the dress rack. Elphaba lets herself be moved, but her mind is roaring. They go through the motions-- measuring, choosing, paying. Elphaba hears none of it. She’s watching Galinda. Watching how her mouth is tight but her voice is too smooth as she asks to bring the Gazelle’s package to her, leaning in with a charming whisper and wink. 

The woman at the counter seems hesitant, but obliges under the weight of Galinda’s persuasion. They head to the door with two beautiful ballgowns wrapped carefully in waterproof protection. And a simple brown bag with a mess of fabric in the bottom.  

Outside, the air bites at them. It isn’t hard to find the Gazelle nearby, handing over the bag with a few polite pleasantries. Elphaba tries to tune in again, tries to get the Gazelle’s name, let her know that Elphaba is sorry, but she isn’t sure she manages it. Her throat feels clogged and her mind feels stuffed and she just--

Oz, she doesn’t know what to feel. 

***

They end up at a cafe, Elphaba enjoying the shelter of warmth as she muses over the proceedings from earlier. Galinda hasn’t said much either, toying idly with her mug of hot apple cider. Her gaze keeps slipping-- off into the street, to the pedestrians, to the stalls selling scarves and sweets and charms. She’s always observing, always listening, but Elphaba sees how hard she’s working to look at ease.

“You should take a nap when we get back,” Elphaba suggests gently. “You need the rest.”

Galinda’s smile tilts. “I know.”

“You say that, but then I catch you organizing an entire flower delivery system for the Snowball at three in the morning.”

“Well, someone has to make sure everything runs smoothly, and I think we all know if ShenShen were left in charge there’d be no decorations at all.”

“I don’t think Shiz will crumble without floral centerpieces.”

“I think it would absolutely crumble without floral centerpieces.”

Despite herself, Elphaba huffs a soft laugh, and Galinda grins. It’s moments like this that throw Elphaba off balance-- when Galinda sparkles just enough to make her forget how thin she’s stretched. But then the sparkle dims too quickly, and she sets her cup down with trembling hands, and the weight comes crashing back.

They sit in silence for a while. Galinda’s cider cools untouched. The bells over the shop entrance chime every few minutes, and the sky begins to turn a pale amber over the rooftops. Elphaba doesn’t know what to say.

There’s something between them she can’t name. Not a wall, exactly-- more like a sheet of glass. Transparent, but impenetrable. She can see Galinda’s sadness. Her strain. Her exhaustion. But she can never touch it.

She wants to reach across the table, take Galinda’s hand again. She doesn’t. Elphaba knows she’s still on edge because of earlier. She knows that the anger she’d felt is still curled somewhere in her chest, a coiled hurt like heartburn leaving her feeling awkward and on edge.

She’d just--

She’d felt so helpless. 

“Elphaba,” Galinda finally says, voice soft as she ducks her head to catch Elphaba’s eyes. “Hey, look at me.”

Elphaba does, trying to wipe her face to something expressing neutrality. The way Galinda looks at her though makes her think the blonde is able to see right through the attempt. Galinda has always had this way of seeing Elphaba. It’s…it’s one of the things Elphaba loves about her. 

“Elphaba, I’m-- I hated that incident at the shop just as much as you did. Trust me.”

Trust me. 

Galinda always did have a knack for reading minds. Elphaba swallows hard. “Then why didn’t you say anything? Or- or let me say something?”

“I told you, it would’ve just caused a scene and made everything worse. She wouldn’t have wanted that.”

“You can’t know that. She would’ve wanted to be treated like a person! Like any other customer!” 

“I-- Yes, of course. But Elphaba, can’t you see it was already past that point?” 

The thing is- Elphaba can kind of understand it. Now that she’s had a chance to sit and ruminate and drown her bubbling frustration with a mug of cider. She can get how Galinda could’ve thought that way. It’s just--

She’s not entirely sure that is why Galinda didn’t say anything. It sounds great and logical, sure. But it also sounds…shallow. Flat. Like an excuse. A cover. Because Elphaba remembers the way Galinda’s eyes had skittered around, the way her voice was strained and soft.

This shop is full of people. 

Did Galinda really stop Elphaba because she wanted to help the Gazelle…or because she, Galinda Upland, didn’t want to make a scene? Didn’t want to draw attention? Didn’t want to oppose the stance her friends had taken? 

…didn’t think the Gazelle counted as one of the people?

Elphaba imagines herself stepping forward, brushing off Galinda’s hand and calling out the cruelty for what it was. Maybe they’d have kicked her out. Maybe worse. Maybe it wouldn’t have helped the Gazelle at all. So maybe Galinda was right. But the thought still stings-- because maybe it wouldn’t have.

Elphaba breathes out slowly, measured. Her thoughts and feelings are too tangled to interpret at the moment, and she doesn’t know what to think. She stays silent for now, simply nodding slowly and letting the whole thing drop. She can see something flash across Galinda’s face, like she wants to keep trying, but as Elphaba takes a pointed sip of her cider, the blonde clearly gets the hint. 

They gather their things not long after that, making their way back into the cold. Galinda’s hand feels hesitant as she slips it into Elphaba’s, Elphaba pulling her in easily. She has a lot to think about, but her feelings for Galinda haven’t changed just because now she’s even more confusifying.

“Elphaba?” Galinda’s voice comes. “Are- are you mad at me?”

There’s an almost childish worry to the words, a hint of nostalgic energy that Elphaba can’t quite grasp the context of. “No, of course not,” she says swiftly. She looks down, catching Galinda’s eyes and making a point to soften. 

“I’m not mad at you, Galinda. I’m…frustrated. By what we saw. But not mad at you.”

Galinda’s eyes search Elphaba’s face, looking for a lie. Elphaba can’t help but wonder if she sees one. If there is one to be found. But the idea of Galinda thinking they’re at odds makes Elphaba feel almost sick, and as much as she was torn back there, she knows she’d still follow Galinda anywhere. 

“Okay,” Galinda whispers. She leans into Elphaba’s arm, eyes sliding shut for just a moment. “Do you like your dress?” 

The change in topic is welcomed, even though Elphaba honestly barely even remembers what dress Galinda ended up buying for either of them. She’s sure they’re both stunning though, as is everything Galinda picks out. “I love it,” Elphaba replies, and her voice doesn’t falter. 

That gets a fleeting smile, Galinda humming warmly. “Good,” she says. Then she spins suddenly, getting in front of Elphaba and leaving the girl to stumble awkwardly to a stop lest she run straight into her. 

“What--”

Galinda grins, both hands reach out to grasp Elphaba’s own. The breeze blows gently through her long golden locks, her hands cool even through the layers of fabric over Elphaba’s. 

“Elphaba Thropp,” Galinda says, tone warm but serious. Weighted. “Will you be my date to the Snowball?”

“I-- Didn’t I already ask you this?” 

Galinda’s grin widens. “But I never asked you.” 

Bubbles of amusement tug at Elphaba’s lips, the previous tangle of worry and doubt fleeing in the face of Galinda’s bright energy, her infectious delight. My date, she’d said. This time, it sounded different than my friend. 

This time, Elphaba almost does falter, but she gets the word out anyway. “I would love to,” she breathes. And when Galinda’s face lights up, when she giggles like a schoolchild and leans into her, there is no room in Elphaba’s heart for speculation and worry and doubt. 

There is only room for Galinda. 

Chapter Text

There is something about the Ozdust Ballroom that Elphaba doesn’t think she’ll ever fully be able to define or describe. Something mysterious and magical and a bit mystifying, really. The room holds an energy that people can lose themselves in entirely, something beyond mere alcohol or the typical party drugs.  

It sweeps over her every time she exits the tunnel, Galinda’s hand leading her into a whole different world, one where the normal rules and conventions of the outside all but vanish into smoke. A place where Animals can play in the band and tend the bar, and where people of all kinds, of all ages and sizes and colors, can mingle on the dance floor without a care. 

Before Shiz--before Galinda--Elphaba hadn’t even known such a place existed at all. She’d spent her whole childhood locked away in the manor lest she become a public commotion, and even now, on trips to the city, to shops and restaurants that she and Galinda frequent, there are always people who stare. Down in the Ozdust, no one cares about the ‘green girl’ anymore. 

The regulars are used to her, just as Elphaba is now used to the lights and clamor of the underground club. She’s used to the flow of the river overhead and the pound of the bass through the floor. She’s even used to the way the Cougar bartender mixes up a mocktail to slide over to her, to the sweet taste coating her tongue as she brings it to her lips and surveys her surroundings. 

Tonight is busier than usual, the dance floor covered in Shiz students looking to enjoy one of their last few weekends before finals descend upon them. Elphaba knows most of their faces these days, having picked up on who is who after so many outings and classes and social events. They’re peers-- not bullies. A different life than she’d left behind in Munchkinland. 

Here, the upperclassmen mingle with the first years, tipping their heads back in laughter and drink. The music is loud enough to drown in, spreading like fog through the ballroom. It’s an infectious sort of need that keeps people moving, even those who should’ve tired long ago.

Galinda is in there somewhere. Just as drunk as anyone else, Elphaba is sure, but the girl has a rather uncanny ability to handle her liquor for someone so petite. She’s always the first to run to the bar whenever they arrive at the ballroom, but she never gets so wasted as to make a fool of herself in public. 

Of course- that’s peak Galinda, isn’t it? Never doing anything that would tarnish her image. A bubbly, happy drunk who twirls steadily on her heels and laughs brightly under the lights is exactly the kind of person who has everyone falling at her feet, in awe of her beauty and brilliance. Elphaba would know. She’s far from immune herself.

Even now, her eyes are scanning the crowd, searching for that distinctive flash of blonde. When they’d arrived earlier--however long ago that was--Galinda had offered to get everyone a round of shots to kick things off, but Elphaba had declined, content to stick to her mocktails and make sure they all made it back to Shiz without anyone capsizing the boat later. 

“Oh, come on, Elphaba,” one of Galinda’s lackeys had whined. “Don’t you ever have fun?”

“I have plenty of fun,” Elphaba had replied flatly. “I simply don’t need to be inebriated to do so. Nor do I particularly enjoy losing control of myself.”

The whole crowd had laughed a little at that-- at her. But Elphaba didn’t really mind. The laughter wasn’t cruel, and after a few drinks, they’d all forget she was there anyway. Only Galinda had frowned, tilting her head and scanning Elphaba’s expression as she reached for her hand. 

“Don’t worry about me,” Elphaba had said before Galinda could even open her mouth. “Go have fun.” 

“I don’t want to--”

“I mean it, Galinda.” 

And she had- even if a part of Elphaba has always hated how Galinda beelines toward the bar the second they arrive. How she throws back several shots with the desperation of someone who wants to get out of her own head for a bit. 

Every time, Elphaba stands back, torn between trying to stop Glinda and trying to reassure herself that it’s normal for college kids to drink and have fun. That it’s not some red flag waving over Galinda’s head, not some warning sign glaring at her through the dark. 

Except--

The more often they come here--the more often she has to practically carry Galinda home--the less Elphaba is able to deny that it is. Tonight, she had watched Galinda take those shots, her head tipped back, hair spilling down her back, throat bobbing as she swallowed it in one go. Someone had laughed and several had cheered and Galinda had leaned into ShenShen’s shoulder with a stilted grin. 

Her smile had been too bright, the edges as bitter as the lemon she’d bitten, the corners of her eyes tight with strain. Elphaba knew that smile. She knew that Galinda couldn’t possibly have the energy to be partying right now. Her continued fatigue often showed through in the quieter moments, like how she’d turned from the bar with a small sway that wasn’t from the alcohol. 

Now, Elphaba’s thumb presses into the condensation on her glass, tracing an aimless line as she thinks. Is this still just a performance? A push for popularity? Galinda’s social currents had carried her out into the center of the dance floor, swarming her like worker bees around their queen-- but at what cost?

Elphaba’s mind, traitorous as ever, drifts to the Gazelle at the dress shop. The polite smile that had masked dismissal. The way Galinda had held her back, fingers just firm enough to anchor her, voice pitched low so only Elphaba could hear. Please don’t.

It hadn’t felt like cowardice-- not exactly. Galinda’s words suggested that it was calculated, as if she were playing some longer game Elphaba couldn’t yet see. But was it a noble game…or just another game of pretend being masked as social etiquette? At the end of the day, the Gazelle had still been left on the pavement, waiting for someone else to decide she was worth serving. 

If it had been up to Elphaba, no amount of politeness or etiquette or desired good relations with a particular dress shop would’ve stopped her from making sure the Gazelle knew that not everyone accepted that, and that some people still understood that that was wrong. 

Elphaba takes another sip of her mocktail, bitter bubbles sparking against her tongue. On the dance floor, Galinda is lost to the knot of students, only seen as occasional flashes of pink as she spins. Her laughter cuts across the music, bright and sweet, and for a moment it’s easy to believe it comes without effort.

Elphaba isn’t sure if that’s a comfort or a warning.

***

“Elphaba!”

Her name pierces straight through the music and laughter as Galinda beelines toward her, cheeks flushed and curls bouncing. She seems to have left her companions behind her as she tumbles into Elphaba’s arms with the kind of giggle that only ever comes out of her when she’s tipsy. 

“Are you having fun?” Galinda asks, eyes wide, imploring, just the slightest slur at the edges of her words. She turns her face into Elphaba’s shoulder with a hum, letting Elphaba help hold some of her weight as the taller girl loops a green arm around Galinda’s back. 

Elphaba forces herself to breathe, to focus on the unsteady sway of Galinda’s body instead of the heady scent of her perfume. “Of course I am,” she responds. 

“Mm, are you sure? You deserve to have fun, Elphaba.” Galinda’s words are muffled by Elphaba’s shoulder, but they still cause Elphaba’s chest to warm. 

“I’m sure, Galinda. I-- As long as you’re having fun, I’m having fun.”

That makes Galinda pull back, head lifting with a frown. Her eyes search Elphaba’s face, suddenly serious despite not being sober. “That’s not the same thing,” she says firmly. Her hands tangle into Elphaba’s shirt, tugging gently, though Elphaba isn’t sure if she’s aware of that. 

“You deserve to be happy just because- because of you, Elphaba. Not because of me.”

It’s not the most eloquent, not when she’s this tipsy, but the conviction in Galinda’s voice still makes it hard for Elphaba to speak around the lump in her throat. Galinda presses even closer, so close that Elphaba can smell the spirits on her breath. 

“Do you want to be here, Elphaba?”

And-- that’s a loaded question, isn’t it? It’s not as simple as asking if she’s happy or enjoying herself or having fun. Because Elphaba doesn’t really like the Ozdust. She doesn’t like to dance or party or drink. She doesn’t much like having to linger on the sidelines while she waits for Galinda to tire enough to head back. Elphaba would much rather spend her evenings tucked away in their dorm, reading and relaxing together. 

But…does she want to be here? Right now, at this very second? 

“Of course I do,” Elphaba breathes, and it’s entirely honest. Because Elphaba wants to be wherever Galinda is. Always. 

Galinda tilts her head, studying her, curls slipping against the curve of her neck. That look--too shrewd, too tender--makes Elphaba feel oddly bare, as though Galinda can see all the words she isn’t saying, like Galinda doesn’t quite believe her. Elphaba isn’t lying, though. 

“I mean it, Galinda. I want to be right here.” With you. 

Looking straight down at Galinda like this, her face just inches away, her lips shining with gloss as she gazes up with dark dark eyes makes Elphaba’s head a little dizzy, her thoughts harder to hold onto. She clears her throat, wondering if her drink had booze in it after all. 

“Do you think maybe you’ve had…enough fun? For tonight?” Elphaba tries for lightness, but the words still break the moment like stones tossed on a still pond. She sighs, giving up on subtlety. “You look tired.”

“Tired?” Galinda laughs, easy and effortless. Practiced. “We’ve barely been here an hour.”

Elphaba’s chest constricts with the weight of a worry she can’t quite name. “That’s okay, we-- It’s probably best to cut it short on a school night.”

She sounds like such a stickler, a party pooper. But Galinda’s limbs are trembling, and she keeps blinking like she’s trying to clear spots from her vision. The last thing the blonde would want is to pass out on the dance floor, in front of everybody, and Elphaba grows more worried with each outing that exactly that is going to happen if she doesn’t intervene. 

She wants to suggest they leave-- retreat to their dormitory, to the quiet, to safety, but the words tangle in her throat. She’s tried to get Galinda to leave early before, and it never works, not unless Elphaba admits she’s tired herself or wants to leave and, well, didn’t she just tell Galinda the opposite?

Before she can figure out another strategy--

“Ladies!”

Fiyero arrives, cutting through the crowd with ease, his signature grin already in place. He bows cheekily upon approach, grabbing for one of Galinda’s hands to give the back of it a peck. Galinda just laughs at his teasing, elbowing him gently. 

“Finally! We were beginning to think you’d abandoned us.”

“Perish the thought.”

He looks to Elphaba next, and she lifts her glass in simple greeting. Fiyero knows better than to attempt to kiss her hand. 

“You dancing tonight, Elphaba?” he asks instead, wiggling his brows as she rolls her eyes.

“Only if gravity stops working.”

He snorts. “Suit yourself.”

Then he turns to Galinda, offering his hand with a mock flourish.

Galinda glances at Elphaba again, a tiny note of hesitance in her stance, but Elphaba gives her a smile and another nod. And just like that, they’re off, spinning between couples and colored lights, Galinda’s pale gown glittering like starlight.

Elphaba sips her drink and watches. They look--damn them--they look good together. Really good, like a scene pulled straight from a romance novel, a vision of beauty and grace. Galinda’s laughter bubbles up over the music. Fiyero dips her, dramatic and grinning, and Elphaba feels something tighten in her chest. It’s…it’s not jealousy. Not exactly.

It’s almost like mourning something she never even had in the first place.

Elphaba knows Galinda likes her. As a friend. She knows that. But she also knows Galinda was raised in a society that still believed in arranged marriages. She knows Galinda is expected to match with someone like Fiyero-- someone charming and golden and well-connected. Someone who could raise her family’s status and give her children a better life. 

Someone who isn’t green. 

The music swells; Fiyero twirls her. Galinda stumbles a little and laughs, catching herself against his chest. Elphaba feels the glass start to tremble in her grasp and has to look away. She loves Galinda. But there are times…there are times when her brain likes to whisper that it would be easier if she didn’t. 

***

Elphaba weaves aimlessly through the crowd, moving toward the far corner of the ballroom where the lighting is dimmer and the music doesn’t hit quite as hard. A few tables line the walls, mostly filled with Animal patrons sipping quietly or chatting in low voices. Elphaba rarely makes her way back here-- hasn’t since her conversation with the doe, Lyra, what feels like half a lifetime ago. 

She hesitates only a moment before slipping onto a vacant stool near the end of the bar, her mocktail having been set down on a random table, leaving her empty-handed. The Cougar bartender nods at her. “Soda water?”

“I-- sure. Thanks.”

A glass appears, and even though Elphaba really isn’t thirsty, she grabs it anyway, just for appearance’s sake, so she doesn’t look so out of place loitering near the bar. The strength of that thought suddenly freezes her in place, drink going untouched as her mind starts to whirl.   

For appearance’s sake, it whispers. Is this how Galinda always feels? 

It’s not like Elphaba isn’t aware of the compulsion. That push to say or do whatever it takes to fit in. Sure, most of the time, Elphaba accepts that it’s simply not an option for her. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand the feeling. That itch under her skin that says: don’t be awkward, don’t stand out. 

Sighing, Elphaba lifts her glass to her lips and tries to clear her head. Her eyes slide shut, she braces one elbow on the counter, and she tucks her chin into her palm. The sounds of the bar, of the band and the patrons and the bartender cleaning glasses, float mindlessly past her ears. Until one conversation in particular catches her attention. 

“…close the shop. There was nothing we could do. They had soldiers with them this time.”

Her head turns before she can stop it. At the next table over, two Animals sit hunched close: a Ram in a patched coat, his horns dulled with age, and a Fox with dark fur along his muzzle. They speak softly, privately, but their words snag in Elphaba’s head all the same.

“Damn,” the Ram grumbled. “That’s three in two weeks. Your kits gonna be okay?”

“They’re tough, but they don’t understand what’s happening. First the schools, then the restaurants, now even our own shop. Animals are barely allowed in the city anymore.”

Elphaba’s chest tightens. The Gazelle’s bewildered eyes flicker through her mind, layered with the warning she’d gotten from Lyra the last time she’d ventured to this side of the ballroom. It isn’t just some rumor or scheme, then-- it’s really happening. Animals being…mistreated. 

She hasn’t thought of Lyra in quite some time. In fact-- the Deer’s worried warning had all but slipped from her mind in the recent weeks, and Elphaba feels shame sting her cheeks at the fact that it hadn’t even occurred to her that day in the city that it might all be connected. 

If Lyra had been right about Animals leaving…disappearing…then did that mean she was right about the other part, too? Animals losing their ability to speak? 

Elphaba realizes too late that she’s staring, catching the attention of the Animals she’d been eavesdropping on. The Fox glares at her, eyes sharp as glass.

“Got something you wanna say, girl?”

Elphaba startles, but holds the Fox’s gaze. “S-Sorry. I didn’t mean to overhear.” She works her bottom lip between her teeth, torn on how to continue. “It’s, um, I’ve- I’ve seen it. Animals being discriminated against in the city.”

The Ram snorts. “I’m sure you have. What did you do about it, huh?”

Heat creeps up Elphaba’s neck; shame pricks at her, as raw and sharp as a blade. “I- I couldn’t,” she admits, seeing the words hit as the Animals exchange a knowing glance. “But I wanted to! I did.” Galinda stopped me. 

Elphaba breathes in sharply, startled by her own bitterness. Her internal voice cuts deep; Elphaba hadn’t even realized how much she’d been holding that incident at the dress shop against Galinda. She doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to do that, feel that. Galinda…it’s complicated. Elphaba can’t--

The Fox studies Elphaba as she drifts into a long, suspicious silence, her internal battle likely written clear across her face. Then he flicks his tail, a gesture somewhere between dismissal and acknowledgment. “I’m sure you did, kid,” he grumbles, and it sounds like maybe he even believes it, just a bit. 

Still- Elphaba feels compelled to repeat herself. “I did, sir, I- I really did. I was…I was told not to cause a commotion. And--” Here, Elphaba feels her chin duck, her eyes skittering away as she swallows and feels heat spread across her cheeks. “--I guess I know all too well what being the center of attention like that is like. I didn’t want to make it worse.”

It’s the first time she’s thought of it that way, but she knows immediately that it’s true. That her cowardice in the moment wasn’t just because of Galinda’s hand on her arm but also because of the feelings and memories that her words had inspired. 

The Fox’s gaze flicks over her before turning to look up at the Ram. They seem to share a silent conversation before the Fox turns back to Elphaba. “Your skin,” he says easily, clearly not having any issue putting those pieces together. It’s not quite a question, but it prompts Elphaba to nod. 

“No one should be--” She sucks in a breath, struggling. “No one should ever be scorned, or laughed at, or looked down upon, or told to keep quiet. I-- I know it’s not the same. But I get it, in a way.” 

The weight of being ‘other.’ 

Elphaba can’t manage to find the right words to convince the Ram and Fox, and she’s not even sure why it matters so much. It’s just that- she’d been thinking of the Gazelle earlier, and how she wished she’d had more of an opportunity to let her know she had an ally in her corner. That Elphaba, for one, believes all people should have the same rights-- both human and Animal alike. 

Elphaba climbs down from her stool slowly, nervous but determined as she approaches the pair. “Do you…do you mind if I sit? Just to listen. And…maybe learn.”

She can tell the pair is wary of her. Why wouldn’t they be? She was dressed in some glittery black ensemble that Galinda had picked out for her and had arrived hand in hand with the blonde, a whole group of Shiz students at their backs. She could just as easily want to gain information to use against them. She could be their enemy just as easily as their friend. 

For a moment, no one moved. Then the Ram huffed, not quite laughter, not quite disbelief. His horns shook, and the Fox’s teeth glinted, and Elphaba understood that they didn’t see her as much of a threat-- not one that would be hard to deal with. The Ram gestured with a tired sweep of his hoof.

“Sit, then. Listen. Maybe we can get through to just one of you youngins.”

Elphaba nods gratefully, sliding into the open seat. Her heart thunders, but her face remains calm, determined. She folds her hands around the rim of the empty glass before her and leans in, ready to listen, ready to learn, even if she feels awkward and embarrassed and intrusive. Her curiosity has always been as much a liability as it is a boon. 

The Fox mutters something under his breath, but his tail flicks in what might have been reluctant acceptance. The pair return to their drinks, their conversation cautious at first-- Elphaba can feel their eyes darting to her, weighing her presence, deciding if she’s a threat or an ally.

She sits straighter, as though her posture alone can prove her sincerity. She isn’t sure if it works. But she knows she won’t be walking away. Not this time.

***

Time passes strangely at the Ozdust, even tucked away in the shadowy corner of the bar. At first, Elphaba is tense and nervous, her knee bouncing restlessly whenever she forgets to stop it and her fingers flexing around her soda water glass. But eventually, after a few runs to the bar to grab drinks for everyone, she starts to relax and feel a bit more like part of the group. 

The Ram and Fox have been joined by a few friends, wary glances shooting Elphaba’s way at first, but Elphaba greets every single one with as much respect and kindness as she can, offering to grab another drink on her. Apparently, that trick works no matter the species. 

“I’m a friend,” she introduces herself, trying her best to make sure they can feel how genuine she is, how much she means those words. It wasn’t that long ago that Elphaba didn’t really know the word ‘friend.’ Didn’t understand the depth to it, the strength. Now she does. And now she knows how much it can mean to a person to be called that. 

“We’ll see,” the Ram responds, gruff but not dismissive. “We’ll see how well those human ears of yours work.”

“I understand.”

The Fox snorts, the sound sharp as a snapped twig. “That would be a first for your kind.”

Elphaba doesn’t flinch; she buries her first, foolish instinct to defend herself--I’m not like them--and chooses the truer thing. “I’ll do my best,” she says instead, because she knows that actions speak louder than words to a group like this.  

Silence stretches over the seconds. A female Hawk drags a talon through the ring of condensation on her glass. “Where’re you from?” she asks, trying for casual and missing it by a mile.

“Munchkinland,” Elphaba says. She pointedly doesn’t say who in Munchkinland she hails from. She’s not sure how being related to a seat of government would go over with this crowd. Besides- she knows where this is going. What question they really want to ask. 

“And…your skin. Has it always been that color?”

“Since the moment I was born.” Elphaba doesn’t bother with her usual spiel. She doubts piling on the self-pity is the way to win over this particular crowd. “My father couldn’t even look at me.”

She isn’t really aiming for sympathy-- she wants connection. A shared sense of hardship, even if it came from different places. “My nanny--Dulcibear--she was the first to hold me when my mother wouldn’t.”

Some of the Animals nod and hum, and she can see them working through that, processing the fact that a Bear had been her nanny, that her father had rejected her, that she’d been cursed to look this way her whole entire life. It’s not the same; she knows that. But- it’s a start. 

Time flows as easily as the drinks. The Animals order another round-- cheap spirits, poured like a dare. Elphaba asks for water and it arrives in a cloudy glass that smells faintly of lemons that have seen better days. She drinks anyway, trying to fit in with the crowd. 

Watching the Fox throw back his shot makes Elphaba think of Galinda tipping a tiny glass to her lips an hour ago, laughing too loudly, smiling too hard. The memory pricks-- affection, worry, jealousy, all wound up in one big tangled ball. Elphaba does her best to shove it away. She can’t focus on more than one thing right now. 

“So. Discrimination in the city, you said,” the Fox says at last. The Hawk and another newcomer--a Badger--look at Elphaba sharply. 

“Oh, um, yes. At a dress shop in Shiz. They…they turned a Gazelle away at the door.”

“A dress shop in Shiz?” the Hawk repeats. Her gaze flicks down Elphaba’s body, clearly taking in the shimmering party gown she’s currently wearing. Where Galinda keeps getting these black pieces of fashion, Elphaba will never know. She has a sneaking feeling the blonde is buying things for her behind her back, but she’s yet to be able to prove it considering she’s with Galinda on all her shopping trips. 

I just had it lying around! Galinda always says, as though Elphaba is really meant to believe she has this many black dresses all conveniently shaped and styled for someone Elphaba’s size. 

“Yes, I was- with a friend. There were some other students there as well, and so they wouldn’t let the Gazelle inside.”

“And how did these…other students respond?”

Elphaba swallows hard, once again feeling the prickling heat of shame. “They, um, they didn’t much care.” It was downplaying it- but Elphaba didn’t want to have to explain that she’d stood by while the others had laughed and sneered. Letting it happen if they’d only been dismissive was already bad enough. 

“I- I made sure to get her dress for her and bring it out,” Elphaba continues quickly. “There just…I didn’t want to make things worse. I tend to, well, not have the best of luck with causing scenes. I’d hate myself if I got her or Animals in general permanently banned from the shop.”

It occurs to Elphaba that she is using all of Galinda’s own arguments right now. The very things she’d been so angry about in the moment, so frustrated over these past few days. Here they were now, being laid out logically in her defense. She can’t decide if it makes her feel more like it had been honest…or more like it had been an excuse. 

Still-- she can’t deny that it’s worked, just a little. A few of the Animals nod, only the Hawk tilting her head and saying nothing. 

“It’s not an uncommon scene these days-- shops closing to us,” the Ram says. “Doors latch when we’re two streets away. Windows flip their signs up well before we cross the threshold. I used to buy books from a man who knew my mother. Last week, he pretended not to even see me in his store.”

His voice doesn’t shake-- it’s all said very calmly, evenly. To Elphaba, that just makes it feel worse.

Her skin has meant a lot of things over the years. It has meant laughter and sneers and disgust. It has meant bullying and ostracization. But Elphaba is a governor’s daughter. She’s wanted for nothing material all her life, and never before has a store dared to turn her away. After all, the shops back home all knew her father, and the shops in Shiz City-- they all knew Galinda. 

The Badger rubs his jaw. “Firing us, too. I know a Wolf at West Gillikin who taught mechanics. He was told to take a ‘seasonal break.’” The Badger’s sharp teeth click around the phrasing. “That was three seasons ago.”

The Hawk’s wings shuffle at her sides. “They require new papers now,” she says quietly. “All our licenses, our agreements with the city. We have to apply to the Emerald City for new ones.” Her eyes flick to Elphaba. “We write. We wait. We hear nothing.”

The Emerald City. The words make something bright flicker in Elphaba’s chest-- a childish, unkillable hope. She pictures towers lit like morning, shining green stone, and marble steps. He lives there. The Wizard. She’s seen his promise to ‘build to a brighter Oz’ plastered across posters since she was a child.  

The first time she’d seen his face on a flyer, she’d pressed her hand to it and whispered that she believed. That she trusted in the Wizard, in his power, in his ability to make her heart’s desire come true. Even now, that belief stirs in her chest like a bird taking flight.

Elphaba swallows hard enough to feel it catch. “Sometimes offices can be…slow,” she hears herself say, careful, softer than soft. “Paperwork goes astray or something…”

The Fox turns his full attention to her at that, pupils narrowing to slits. “And sometimes it goes exactly where it’s meant to go.” 

Elphaba bites the inside of her cheek. She thinks of saying: He wouldn’t do that. You don’t know him like I do. But she doesn’t know the Wizard at all; she knows a voice and a legend and the way her heart aches at the idea of being seen by a power big enough to change everything-- including, perhaps, the color of her skin. But saying that out loud would sound like vanity even to her own ears. 

So, she closes her mouth and does as she’d promised. She listens.

The alcohol continues to flow, and eventually, so too do the stories, Elphaba adjusting to the Animals’ way of talking. A young Sparrow, new to the table, leans forward, words tumbling and catching. “My aunt-- she writes to that office three times. Her boy is turned out from the mill, no notice. They say it’s for safety, new regulations on wings near gears.” She gives a small, incredulous laugh. 

“A Sparrow. In the mill since before I had feathers.” The laugh breaks. “On the fourth letter, she gets a reply. A seal, green wax. Says come to the City. Says we’ll see what can be done. She goes.” Her talons curl. “She doesn’t come back.”

The world tilts a fraction. Elphaba grips the rim of her glass, feels the tacky film kiss her fingertips. Is it just water? Why does her head feel so hazy and full? “Perhaps she found work there,” she says and hears the hollow hope in it.

The Ram’s eyes hold hers for a long moment. There is no anger in them. It’s worse: there is pity. “Perhaps,” he says gently. “That is what we say to the children.”

It’s been a long time since Elphaba thought of herself as a child. But-- that’s just what it is, right? Her hope, her belief, her wishes. Childish. Things that she held onto before…well, before she had something real to anchor her. For just a moment, Elphaba’s mind travels to Galinda. 

No one drinks for a while after that. The noise from the ballroom bleeds through the walls-- bright laughs, stomping feet, a cheer that rises with each end of a song. Elphaba finds herself thinking of the Gazelle again.

“I am sorry,” she says, and the words feel useless leaving her mouth. “For all of it. For being late to this. For- for not seeing it earlier.” And not saying something when I did. 

She closes her eyes briefly. Opens them. “What do you need?” she asks. The question feels like stepping onto a frozen pond-- no way to know the thickness until she is already out there, hoping the ice won’t crack beneath her fumbling feet. 

The Animals exchange glances between them, Elphaba unsure what emotion they convey. More…wariness than anything. Like, even after this past hour or more, they still don’t know where she stands. The Ram scratches at the pale ring around his horn. The Fox’s whiskers tremble, but his voice is even when it comes. 

“We need you not to repeat this conversation to anyone,” he says. “We need you not to tell your friends about the ‘interesting story’ you heard at the back tables.” His lips quirk, teeth glinting.  

“I wouldn’t,” Elphaba says, the words almost tripping off her tongue. “If I can help-- pass a message, or write to someone--”

“Eager,” the Fox murmurs, but there is no humor in it, only caution. “Eager breaks things when it moves too fast.”

Breaks things. Elphaba is good at that, isn’t she? Breaking things? She thinks of glass shivering in Galinda’s mirror, of electric panic humming in her palms when her anger outruns her sense. The Fox’s ear flicks, watching her closely. 

“What are you studying?” the Ram asks abruptly, making Elphaba startle slightly as she’s forced from her thoughts. 

“Oh, um. A bit of everything,” Elphaba says with a half-shrug. “Nothing specific, really, but I’m in Madame Morrible’s sorcery seminar.”

That freezes the table. The Sparrow’s wings stop rustling. The Fox’s tail stills, and wood screeches as claws dig into the chair below them. 

“Elphaba,” the Ram says carefully. “I’d advise you not to mention your teacher around here. Or your studies.”

“I-- Why?” Elphaba asks, and feels heat crawl up the back of her neck because she doesn’t know yet where Morrible sits in all this, only that Galinda doesn’t trust her. Something hollow opens in Elphaba’s ribs at the thought that, maybe, her friend has been right all along. 

The Ram’s mouth hardens. “Not all of us take so kindly to someone with such power, who does nothing to wield it in our favor.”

Elphaba feels a sick twist in her stomach, a seed of doubt planted and taking root. 

“Sorry,” she whispers, a quick and almost instinctive answer. Embarrassingly, she feels tears prick the back of her eyes, though she has no idea why. Why now. Why this. 

The Ram’s face softens, and he reaches out to gently pat her arm. “You are learning,” he says, and it feels like a form of soft approval. 

Something loosens, barely, at the edges of the table. The Sparrow pushes her glass away and sends Elphaba a quick three nods. The Badger rests his paws on the table, studying Elphaba with a curiosity that wasn’t there an hour ago.

“Why are you back here?” he asks frankly. He tips his head toward the muffled music. “Why are you not out there with your friends?”

The first, easy answer on the tip of Elphaba’s tongue is her usual excuse: I don’t dance. But, is that really why? Her eyes skate across the dance floor. Even from all the way back here, she knows what she is looking for. 

“It was better for me to be here,” she finally replies, and it’s clear it holds more than one meaning. Better for Elphaba to get away. Better for Galinda to have her out of sight. Better for the Animals to gain a potential ally. Better for seeing and listening and learning. 

The Fox smiles at that, something sly and knowing. 

“Maybe we’ll let you carry a word,” the Ram says finally. “Not a message. Not yet. Just a word. You carry it around with you for a while and see how it goes.”

Elphaba blinks, trying to unscramble the Animal’s odd way of speaking. “What word?”

The Fox taps the table gently, claws clicking in a steady rhythm. “Subject.”

“Su-- What? I don’t understand.”

The Badger leans closer, beady brown eyes narrowed. He hasn’t spoken as much as the others. “When you think of the Wizard’s subjects, who do you think of?”

Oh. Elphaba understands, now. “Everyone,” she says firmly. “Humans and Animals alike.”

“Hm. And would your friends say the same?”

“I--” Elphaba flounders, unsure. The truth is, she has no idea if her friends would say the same. She wants to think the best of all of them, at the very least, Galinda, but is she certain? 

The Hawk nods and hops forward a step. “You let that sit with you for a bit. Ask your friends, see what they say. Listen. Hear what Oz is telling you about who the Wizard is really out there protecting. When you’ve managed that, then come back and tell us what you’ve learned.”

Elphaba feels her back straighten, her chin dip once, determined. “I can do that,” she says. It’s an oddly serious moment for the back of an illegal nightclub, but then again-- it’s an oddly serious topic for a college student to have stumbled across. It’s an important one, though, and that’s what really matters. 

“Good,” the Ram says. “Now, how about another round.”

It seems their oddly serious conversation is done for now, but Elphaba feels a peculiar sense of pride fill her when she settles more into her seat and agrees to just one drink. She knows she hasn’t broken down all their walls, probably not even most of them, but she’s made progress. And, just maybe, she’s made a few new friends. 

Time grows syrupy around them after that. Rounds arrive and empty; the smoke thickens; the music in the ballroom staggers toward another crescendo. The Animals’ voices shift-- no longer razor-edged, but dull with tiredness, honest in ways sharpness can’t manage. In between casual jokes and queries about each other’s life and families and jobs, Elphaba hears more about what the Animals of Oz have been facing. 

Stories surface at strange angles. A Coyote who isn’t allowed to rent on the same street anymore. A Mare whose daughter was pulled from an apprenticeship on a technicality that didn’t exist last year. A Tiger who stands outside a bakery every morning and gazes through the glass at bread they can no longer purchase. Elphaba lets the details thread through her like wire, not hearing any names but stitching together a picture that pulls at her heart.

The Wizard’s poster-bright smile tries to rise in her mind again, and this time, she lets it come. She tries to hold that image beside the new ones formed tonight, of the various Animals she’s been listening to and hearing stories of. The pictures do not fit together.

Would your friends say the same? Elphaba hears again. But-- that’s not the real question, is it? 

Would the Wizard say the same? 

That’s the part Elphaba is struggling the most with. 

“What about you?” she hears, cutting through her thoughts. She glances up from the rim of her glass and sees the Badger nodding at her. His striped face is more open and curious than before, and she wonders how much of it is the alcohol and how much of it is because Elphaba has grown on him. “What are you--”

The Badger’s eyes slide past her and his mouth clicks shut, posture tensing as everyone else turns to follow his gaze. Elphaba, brow furrowing, turns to do the same--

And sees Galinda.

She’s flushed from dancing, curls askew, smile still too wide. She’s weaving a little, cup still in hand, a golden blur against the shadows as she makes her way past the bar. 

“Elphaba!” she calls. “Why’re you hiding back here?”

The Animals scatter like smoke. Elphaba blinks and turns, but her brand-new maybe-friends are already gone. Strange, she thinks at first. They didn’t seem nearly as wary of me. 

“Galinda,” Elphaba says slowly, moving to greet her friend. “You shouldn’t--”

But Galinda falls straight into her arms, beaming and breathless. Despite her smile, though, her eyes are cloudy when they gaze up at Elphaba, and her grip is anxious-tight. “You disappeared. I was worried you left.”

Elphaba looks at the empty stools behind her. “I just…needed some air.”

“You picked the weirdest corner of the room to find it,” Galinda laughs, tucking a curl behind her ear. She looks at the table as well, littered with several glasses of drinks Galinda knows Elphaba would never consume. Elphaba braces herself for questions, certain that the other girl saw the companions she’d spent the last couple of hours with. 

“Come dance with me,” Galinda says instead. She’s swaying slightly, and her eyes hold a hollowness beneath them impossible to hide. She’s tired, Elphaba knows she is. Her pulse is hammering under her skin. 

“Galinda, maybe we should--”

“Please, Elphaba?” Galinda breathes. She glances at the table once more and then back up at Elphaba, rocking on her heels. “Just one dance?” 

“I’m just not sure--”

“Hey,” Galinda slides her hands into Elphaba’s properly, shifting her expression to a lightly teasing grin. “You need to practice if you’re going to be escorting me to the Snowball.”

“Is…is that right?”

“Mmhm.” And Oz damnit, but Elphaba can just never quite say no to those big brown eyes when they turn all soft and wide with pleading. “Just one dance,” Galinda repeats, and she’s standing so close that her breath ghosts over Elphaba’s lips, so close that Elphaba could almost--

“Okay, Galinda. Just one.”

Galinda’s smile is sunshine bright and her eyes light up like a Lurlinemas tree. It’s so easy to forget, when Elphaba is being looked at like this. It’s so easy to forget there’s anything wrong in Oz. Because how could a world that gave Elphaba Galinda be anything less than a fairytale? 

Chapter Text

Time at school never moves at a consistent pace. It ebbs and flows, sometimes flying by and sometimes appearing to crawl. As the autumn days grow shorter, Elphaba feels everything at Shiz start to quicken, from the speed with which the days pass to the pace the students take as they dash across the courtyard.  

The air bites harder on the morning walk from the dormitories to the lecture halls, and the trees along the path have started dropping their last leaves, the bare branches scraping at the pale, grey sky. Someone is always running-- late for a class, for a study circle, for the committee meeting that will decide the Snowball catering. Flyers bloom on noticeboards overnight: Final Exam schedules, Harvest Festival reminders, Lurlinemas charity drives, a countdown to the first snow written in an optimistic hand.

The speed at which everyone else is moving makes Elphaba feel like she’s being left behind, trapped in slow motion while the world blurs past. Everyone else is busy talking about holiday plans, and trains home, and what the Emerald City looks like at New Year’s, while Elphaba still can’t move past the conversation she’d had at the Ozdust. Her mind is also racing, but at the same time-- stuck in place. 

Between classes, Elphaba finds a few spare minutes to spend with Nessarose, a new type of guilt striking through her at the realization of how long it’s been since they had any one-on-one time. Nessa seems eager to get the chance to catch up, chattering excitedly about her classes and her upcoming Snowball plans. 

“You said you found a dress already, right, Elphaba?” Nessa prods, pulling Elphaba from her thoughts. She scolds herself internally for not paying attention to her sister. 

“Oh, um, yes, I did! Galinda picked it out.”  

Nessa grins, eyes bright. “You’re so lucky you’re friends with Glinda! She’s so cool.”

Elphaba smiles lightly, feeling oddly proud of that reaction. “She is pretty cool,” she agrees. “But she’s also really nice. I’m sure she’d be your friend, too, if you asked.”

Nessarose frowns at that, just a tiny twitch of her lips as she glances down at her lap. “Oh, um, I don’t think she likes me very much,” she admits, chuckling awkwardly as she tucks a strand of curly hair behind her ear. 

“What do you mean? Galinda likes everyone.”

“I don’t know, I mean-- I’ve tried to talk to her a few times. But she always seems, um, distracted or something. It never lasts very long.” Nessa tilts her head, peeking up at Elphaba shyly. “Do you…do you think it’s the chair?”

“No! I-- No, I don’t. Galinda’s not like that.”

…right? 

Elphaba hates herself for the brief doubt that flashes through her mind. After all, Nessa has never been very popular, never quite been able to ingratiate herself into the “cool kids” crowd. Elphaba has watched her try for years, a knot of guilt in her stomach each time her sister attempted to make friends and was rebuffed. 

They’d both been homeschooled for the ease of things, and Nessa had never been outright bullied, but that didn’t really make it any easier. 

“Galinda is really busy, and sometimes, she’s not really thinking in the moment. I know she isn’t like that, though. Let me introduce the two of you properly. I- I think you’ll quite like her.” 

I really want you to like her. It…mattered to Elphaba, more than she’d realized until right this second, that Nessarose and Galinda got along. After all, they were the two most important people in her life. People whom she hopes will always be in her life. 

Nessa beams at her suggestion. She seems eager to meet Galinda, going on for a few minutes about how grand the Snowball is shaping up to be and Galinda’s role in making it so. Nessarose attended plenty of their father’s fancy functions growing up, and she is no stranger to having to dress up and look her best. The Snowball is different, though, and the nearly feverish excitement it casts over the campus only rises with every day that passes. 

Soon, the halls are full of nothing but students making plans and coordinating outfits and giggling madly as they exchange gossip about the attendance and attire. Most of the girls have gone shopping by now, but far from being satisfied with the dresses as they are, Galinda has decided to tailor both her and Elphaba’s selection. 

Elphaba had tried to reassure her that she liked the dress just the way it was, but the utterly aghast look on Galinda’s face had made her protests end in amused snorts of laughter as Galinda babbled on for several minutes about the horror of showing up to such an important event in something off the rack. 

Instead, Galinda turns their room into her own mini workroom, even going so far as to designate a specific spot for Elphaba to stand in so she can take her measurements. She’s a little whirlwind of pink and blonde, zipping about their dorm room as she holds various small cuts of fabric up to the lamp or the window or Elphaba’s face. 

“We haven’t decided on the lighting yet,” she explains aloud. “We’ve barely even gotten the catering covered! The lighting setup they have in the ballroom right now is far too yellow, and the committee wants us to use blue lights for all the icicle decorations even though I told them that a neutral white would be prettier, but they keep saying that will make everyone look washed out, as if I of all people am not fully aware of the benefits of warm lighting for skin tones, and of course--”

She keeps going like that, rambling on and on as she dashes about. Her hands talk nearly as loudly as her mouth does, waving about in various gestures or fiddling with any of the number of tools that disappear and reappear in her hands as she flits from desk to wardrobe to Elphaba to desk and back again. 

“Breathe, Galinda,” Elphaba eventually interrupts, laughing a little as Galinda stumbles to a halt at her words, blinking quickly in surprise and then going a very flattering shade of deep pink. 

“Oh, uh, sorry, I was just--”

“It’s fine, I enjoyed it. Maybe just remember to take a breath somewhere in the middle,” Elphaba teases. 

Rarely does Elphaba get to see Galinda this excited or eager about anything. She’s completely in her element right now, not thinking or worrying or stressing about anything outside this dorm, the two people in it, and the dresses she needs to make for the Snowball. Her eyes are bright and her cheeks are flushed and this is clearly something she loves. 

It’s cute, Elphaba thinks. And a nice distraction from Elphaba’s usual thoughts. 

“Just…maybe slow down a little before you keel over,” she suggests. 

It’s not an entirely unwarranted concern. The only other times Galinda uses this much energy is when she dances at the Ozdust, and usually that’s aided by copious amounts of alcohol to help prevent her from feeling how fatigued she is. And twice in the past few weeks, she’s all but passed out the moment she’s stepped off the dance floor. 

Elphaba knows if she were to reach over, she’d be able to feel Galinda’s heartbeat going a mile a minute. She smiles gently at the blonde, gesturing down at herself where she stands on the little pink mark Galinda had designated for her. “Why don’t you finish with your poking and prodding first?” she offers. At least that will require Galinda to stand mostly in one place for a moment. 

“Oh! Sure, right, sorry-- I didn’t mean to make you wait.” Galinda hustles over, a tape measure around her neck and a terrifying amount of pins in her hands. “I’m still working on adjusting the neckline for yours. And I’m taking those godawful long sleeves off.”

“I like long sleeves.”

“I know you do, but really, Elphaba, those sleeves weren’t doing anyone any favors, and we can’t have you looking anything less than your best!”

“And the neckline? I thought you said it was pretty at the shop.”

Galinda’s hand waves dismissively through the air. “It is pretty, it’s just not quite right, you know? Now, arms up.”

Elphaba sighs but gets into place without complaint. As a governor’s daughter, she’s accustomed to dressmakers’ hands, the precise intimacy of being disassembled into numbers: waist, bust, arms, legs, etc. Her father may not have cared much for Elphaba, but he did care about appearances. Elphaba had grown up wearing the finest of clothes, and even her school uniforms were custom made and colored. 

However, those fittings were in quiet backrooms where Elphaba stood stiffly at attention under scrutinizing eyes that could barely stand to look at her green skin. She’d requested styles that covered her from neck to toe, always with high collars and long sleeves. Gloves, even, when the occasion allowed them. Her sister used to say it made her look intimidating and regal, but Elphaba knew better than to believe that. 

It made her look less green. 

Here, in the warm light of the lamps, with Galinda’s bright eyes and soft hands maneuvering her into position, Elphaba found she didn’t quite mind the idea of trying something new. “Fashion is all about expression,” Galinda explains as she works. “There’s a lot you can tell about a person from the way they dress, especially from the way they dress at certain events.”

“It’s an art form.”

“Hm, yes, I suppose it is. Fashion, like makeup, can hide certain more negative attributes and enhance the more positive ones. It can tell a story, or it can just make you look good. A big part of our initial impressions about people has to do with what they were wearing. For example: you probably wouldn’t think very highly of a professor who shows up to the first day of class looking like a slob.”

“Is that your way of telling me you’re going to make me wear makeup as well?”

“I’m insulted you would ever assume that I wasn’t.”

Elphaba smiles at that, letting Galinda spin her around so she’s facing the mirror now as Galinda does something behind her. She can hear the girl mumbling still, while Elphaba takes the opportunity to inspect her own reflection. She’s wearing only her cream nightgown, her toned arms littered with a few goosebumps from the chilly room. They still haven’t opened up their fireplace. 

She looks…tired. If she’s being honest. Neither of them has been sleeping well. She’s lost a few pounds recently, her thighs and waist thinner than before. Her hair’s been a bit neglected, too, and she normally would’ve gotten her braids redone by now. The flaws seem to jump out at Elphaba as she stares, nibbling worryingly on her bottom lip.

At some point, there comes a small thud between Elphaba’s shoulder blades, a weight dropping onto her as Galinda whines, long and sharp. “What’s wrong?” Elphaba asks, craning to try and see Galinda, but the girl is perfectly hidden by Elphaba’s larger frame.

“My arms are tired,” Galinda complains, pressing more firmly into Elphaba’s back. “Can’t you be shorter?”  

“Can’t you be taller?”

“Elphabaaa.”

“Galindaa.”

Galinda whines again, all but flopping onto Elphaba’s back, and Elphaba finally turns, catching Galinda in her arms when she loses her balance at the sudden movement. Galinda pouts up at her, sinking down in the oversized sweater she’s wearing until she looks like a tiny blonde turtle.

Her eyes are glittering and her lip is jutted out like a child’s. Elphaba, curse her soul to hell, can’t help but give in to the urge to lean down and press a fleeting kiss to Galinda’s small nose, grinning when it makes her go cross-eyed. “Silly.”

Only Elphaba gets to see Galinda like this-- soft and blurred at the edges, her makeup smudged around her tired eyes and her hair falling loose from its bun. It’s moments like this that the worries and doubts seem furthest from Elphaba’s mind.  

When Elphaba first met Galinda, she had this impression that, despite the bubbly energy that seemed to exude from the bright blonde, she had this maturity to her, this certain poise and perfection that Dulcibear might’ve called an “old soul.” Sometimes, it was hard to believe that Galinda was a few years younger than Elphaba. 

It’s not that Elphaba thinks less of her than before, but she feels like, as time has gone on, she’s gotten to see a realer, rawer version of Galinda. The Galinda who is still a teenager beneath the mask, whose bubbly energy cannot last forever, and who, at the end of the day, is just a girl barely into adulthood, struggling under the weight of her own high expectations. 

“Are you done for the evening?” Elphaba asks, almost certain that at this point, Galinda will be too tired to continue. Elphaba’s had to do Galinda’s hair more than once over the past couple of weeks because the girl’s arms get too tired to hold above her head for long, and she figures once Galinda has hit that limit, she’ll do away with the tinkering for the night. 

“Oh, I mean, I should really try and finish these last little--”

“Galinda, it’s nearly dark out. And we both could use a little extra sleep.”

“I know, I know, it’s just…” Galinda trails off, teeth nibbling anxiously at her lower lip before she catches herself. Her hands find the edge of Elphaba’s sweater instead, curling the soft fabric between her fingers. “There’s not enough time,” Galinda whispers. 

“Time for what?”

“For-- for everything.” Galinda glances up, her big brown eyes dark and solemn. When she takes a deep breath, it catches in her chest, a wobble that betrays the weight of her worries. Her gaze rakes over Elphaba’s face, tracing across her features like she’s trying to commit them to memory. “I just wanted more time.”

Elphaba swallows hard, feeling oddly vulnerable in this suddenly fragile moment. 

Galinda sighs softly, sinking forward until she’s once again leaning into Elphaba’s side. “Sometimes,” Galinda confesses. “I think the reason I can’t fall asleep is because a part of me is still scared to wake and find it was all a dream.”

All the lights are still on in their dorm. Both girls have yet to wash up, and the moon has yet to take its place in the night sky. It feels wrong to be trading secrets like this, to be revealing such oddly weighty things while the sun still lights Galinda’s hair on fire. Elphaba wraps both arms around Galinda, tucking her closer as she tries to find the words to reply. 

“It’s not a dream, Galinda,” Elphaba assures her, even if she doesn’t fully know what it symbolizes here. “When you wake, I’ll be right here. And then you’ll know it was real.”

Galinda laughs shortly, a harsh, wet sound that breaks Elphaba’s heart. “Oh, Elphaba,” Galinda breathes, pulling back just enough for Elphaba to see her teary eyes. “It’s when you say things like that that I find it hardest to believe.”

“I--”

Elphaba doesn’t really know what to say in response to that. Galinda straightens and takes a deep breath, moving away from Elphaba to start putting her things away. There’s a tired slump to her shoulders, and the levity of the previous moment seems to have fled. 

Recently, it feels like things are always happening that way. Pockets of brightness, of smiles and warmth, between longer and longer stretches of shadowy soberness. Elphaba feels all her worries and doubts and stress slam back into her, a harsh shiver making her hug her arms to herself as she takes a stuttery breath. 

For just a second, she’d been able to forget about it all. But that second has passed, and as both girls slowly get ready for what will surely be another restless night of little sleep, Elphaba mourns the loss as though she knows she won’t be getting another. 

***

As the end of the semester nears, classes tighten their grip, and Elphaba, for the first time in her life, finds she cannot keep up. In Mathematics, the numbers swirl before her eyes into an incomprehensible soup. In Linguification, she startles at her own errors, small omissions that she would’ve thought careless coming from anyone else. In Sorcery, Madame Morrible’s voice goes in one ear and out the other, despite the fact that it is the most important class on her schedule. 

The woman has been nothing but kind, and she remains patient and encouraging despite the crease of frustration Elphaba can see on her brow when she messes up on a simple spell. “It’s alright, my dear,” she soothes, but Elphaba feels the failure tangle in her gut, spinning around with that guilty, conflicted feeling that has followed her ever since the Ram’s warning words in the back of that bar. 

It feels like eons have passed when it’s barely been more than a week. 

Galinda spreads her calendar out across her desk in the dorm, every day filled in with sparkly, colored ink. Her schedule is somehow even more packed than the beginning of the year, busy helping various clubs and committees plan for the end of the year and all its celebrations. Everything is color-coded, certain things even being circled or highlighted or marked with a flag. 

Her almost obsessive organization--and the anxious twirling of her pen between her fingers as she struggles to find a free spot on her calendar--sounds alarm bells in Elphaba’s head. Under the perfect hair and the perfect posture, there is the same fatigue that has shadowed Galinda since the term began, and it sets Elphaba on edge. 

Galinda’s mood has always been a little inconsistent, but recently, it seems to be amplified, the speed at which it swings ramping up just like everything else at Shiz. The easy way Elphaba was able to smile and laugh as Galinda worked on her dress starts to feel more and more unattainable as the days pass and their stress grows. It doesn’t help that the blonde is clearly hiding something else she’s been working on, a stack of papers that she shoves away whenever Elphaba is around. 

I want to trust you, Elphaba keeps thinking. But sometimes you make it so incredibly hard. 

Elphaba hasn’t forgotten the promise she made to the Animals at the Ozdust not to reveal their conversation to anyone else. There might’ve been a time when she would’ve assumed that such a promise did not include Galinda. That, as her best friend, Galinda was automatically excluded from such statements. However, the longer time goes on, the more Elphaba feels like she can see why the Animals would’ve said such a thing. 

People are only so trustworthy. They are only so predictable. And Galinda, well-- she is neither of those things. Not really. 

But tonight is not the time to remark on such things. Tonight, both of them are too exhausted to be ruminating on such serious matters, especially when they both need to catch up on schoolwork. Final exam season seems more and more like an obstacle Elphaba is not prepared to tackle, and as much as she’d like to spend every night at the Ozdust, trying to glean more information and further integrate herself into the group, even Galinda looked horrified at the idea of going out again after the day they’ve had. 

So instead, Elphaba refills both their ink pots, nudges a mug toward Galinda’s hand, and settles in for a night of proper studying. “Are you working on Dillamond’s assignment?” she asks, grabbing for her history textbook and flipping it open. Galinda’s clearly quite honed in, scribbling something in her personal shorthand that, much to her frustration, Elphaba hasn’t been able to decipher yet. 

It takes Galinda a second to respond, blinking quickly as if pulling herself out of a haze. “Oh, um, I will in a moment,” she says, barely looking at Elphaba before she ducks her head back down. Elphaba frowns at her, trying to remember if they have any other classes that would require that much writing. Galinda doesn’t even have any textbooks open. 

“If you’re working on committee stuff, you’re going to run out of time,” she warns.  

“It’s fine,” Galinda says quickly. “I always turn my assignments in on time.”

That much is…surprisingly true, actually. Elphaba has always been impressed by Galinda’s ability to fly under the radar when it comes to schoolwork. She has no idea how she finds the time to finish everything unless the assignments really are just that easy for her. Which-- Elphaba would be lying if she said she isn’t the tiniest bit jealous frustrated by the fact that Galinda seems to breeze by on assignments that take even Elphaba hours to complete. 

“I can do yours, too,” the blonde always offers, but that just makes the matter worse, a burst of heat in Elphaba’s chest that she doesn’t want to think on or feel for too long. For so many years, all Elphaba had to be proud of was her academic excellence. She’d worked hard to at least be good at that one thing, and there’s something especially grating about knowing she’s been falling further and further behind while Galinda, despite her busy schedule and worsening condition, appears to have no problem at all. 

At this time of evening, the library is packed with students in a similar position to the pair, hunched over tables and lamps as they scribble notes and flip pages and try to stuff as much information in their brains as they can. Elphaba tries to focus and get her work done, but she can’t help the way her eyes keep flicking to the girl beside her. At one point, Elphaba even sees Galinda pull out a map-- jotting down little marks in colored ink, the meaning of which is lost to Elphaba. 

Time clicks past on the large clock at the back of the library, and the soothing murmur of other students starts to lessen as the shadows lengthen across the floor. Galinda’s frantic scribbling slows down, her half-drunk mug of tea long gone cold as her eyelids start to droop. She’s running out of steam, and Elphaba is glad they chose an evening in at the library instead of a night out on the dance floor. 

She does her best not to draw attention to the blonde’s growing drowsiness as she keeps going on her own work, occasionally muttering bits and passages out loud-- knowing full well the effect that reading to Galinda has had in the past. She knows Galinda would kill her if she knew what Elphaba was doing, lulling her to sleep like this in the middle of a public place. 

But the library is almost entirely cleared out, the windows showing it’s pitch black outside as the clock slides past the thirteenth hour. Eventually, just as Elphaba had hoped for, she feels a soft weight slump into her shoulder, Galinda losing the battle against sleep as her eyes slide shut and her breathing evens out. 

It takes Elphaba a second too long to realize she’s now trapped both of them in the library until Galinda wakes, but she can’t find it in herself to care that much-- not when she knows how much Galinda needs the rest. She tries valiantly to make use of the time, finishing up Dillamond’s assignment and moving on to strengthening her outlines for final exams. Sleep pulls at her own mind, though, and at some point, Elphaba jerks her nodding chin back up and realizes she’s just read the same passage three times in a row and not remembered a word. 

She’s tired, and she’s distracted and worried and stressed. The only thing she can hold in her brain, it seems, is the pattern she’d been living these past several days or weeks or however long it’s been. They’ve been stuck in an almost-nightly loop of class → dorm → city → Ozdust → sleep → then class again-- until the days become beads on a string that keeps threatening to snap. 

Sighing softly, Elphaba moves to quietly gather all their belongings, stuffing her books into her satchel and trying to reach around a slumbering Galinda to get her things as well. “Galinda,” she calls softly, jostling the girl gently to get her to wake. “Come on, you can go straight back to sleep once we get to the dorm, I promise.”

Galinda has always been easy to wake, blinking her eyes open at the softest call or nudge. Elphaba feels a frown pull at her lips when her initial attempt, now, is met with zero reaction. “Galinda?” she calls again, a little louder this time. She shakes the girl’s shoulder and receives nothing more than a wrinkle forming on Galinda’s brow- but the blonde stays very much asleep. 

Elphaba pauses, contemplating. Typically, she’d offer Galinda a ride back to the dorms if she was really too tired to walk. But getting Galinda on her back requires her to be at least a little awake and helpful, and despite the fact that it would make her life a whole lot easier-- Elphaba can’t quite convince herself to rouse Galinda when she’s already this deeply asleep. 

Oz knows she needs it. 

Sighing, Elphaba finishes gathering their things, slinging both bags over her shoulder and pushing them around to sit behind her. That done, she carefully moves her hands under Galinda’s back and legs and, with a soft grunt of effort, manages to hoist the girl into her arms. 

“You’re lucky you don’t weigh much,” Elphaba grumbles, adjusting them both into something resembling comfortable as she finally makes her way out of the library. Galinda is quite light-- both a boon at the current moment and a consistent worry that Elphaba is sadly used to feeling. 

Holding Galinda in front of her like this is different than just offering her a ride on her back. It’s…intimate, the feeling of Galinda’s soft breaths across her collarbones as the blonde snuggles close, held in a way that puts her safety entirely in Elphaba’s hands. She practically melts into the hold, like even in sleep she knows she’ll be protected. 

Elphaba’s heart is beating so fast she can’t help but wonder if the sound will wake Galinda, the blonde’s head pressed so close to her chest. Her face is flushed, and she knows it has nothing to do with the effort it takes to walk across campus. Galinda feels so small like this-- her warmth seeping through Elphaba’s clothes and heating her entire body, making her head spin as she walks. 

They make it back to the dorms easily, Elphaba struggling only for a moment to open the door and get them both inside. Galinda stays dead asleep the entire time, her breathing even and slow. By the time Elphaba gets Galinda settled under her covers, she’s exhausted, her arms shaky as she quickly changes and readies for sleep herself. 

She pauses for a second by Galinda’s bedside, her fingers lingering on the switch to turn off Galinda’s signature pink lamp. She looks so peaceful like this-- so young. Her stress tends to age her when she’s awake, an ancient sort of sadness in her eyes that makes her look so much older than she really is. Elphaba has always appreciated these small moments when she can see Galinda without the mask and without the worries. 

There’s barely any moonlight tonight, and there are no witnesses as Elphaba reaches a hand out and carefully runs a thumb across Galinda’s cheek, leaning down to press a light kiss to her temple. “Can I tell you a secret?” Elphaba whispers, the shadows giving her a rare surge of bravery. Her eyes slide shut, her chest squeezing so tight she can barely get the words out. 

“You’re going to break my heart someday, Galinda Upland.”

Elphaba stands, pulling away with tears in her eyes as she finally clicks the lamp off and throws their room into darkness. Despite her numerous blankets, she feels ice cold as she tucks herself into bed. You’re going to break my heart someday, Elphaba thinks again, and I can’t do a thing to stop you. 

Elphaba has known from the start that she and Galinda were never meant to be. Elphaba is not the kind of person to love lightly. She knows that if she loves someone, when she loves someone, she will love them with everything she is and everything she has. She will give them all of herself and all of her heart.

And that terrifies her. Because Elphaba can see Galinda being the one. The only one. She will give Galinda all of herself because Galinda is the only person she wants to have it. But when Elphaba looks at Galinda, looks at the hidden grief in her eyes and the ghost that haunts her every move, she fears that Galinda will never be able to love Elphaba the way Elphaba loves her.

Yet- Elphaba can no longer fathom a world without Galinda in it. Wherever this leads, wherever they go, Elphaba knows she will love Galinda for as long as she shall live. Too much to run away. Too much to try and stop it. And no matter how much it may hurt in the end, she knows she won’t regret a single second of it. 

Chapter Text

Predictably, Galinda isn’t thrilled with waking up still dressed in her dirty school uniform. Elphaba gets woken halfway through the night to the blonde slipping under the covers beside her, snuggling down and tangling her bare legs with Elphaba’s as she grumbles sleepily about her bed being dirty. 

Elphaba’s fond smile probably belies the fact that she’s awake, but she stays still and lets Galinda situate herself, feeling the blonde huff and whine and finally settle down with her head tucked in the crook of Elphaba’s arm. “G’nigh, Elphie,” Galinda mumbles, drifting off within seconds of getting comfortable. 

Elphaba stays awake just a few seconds longer, trying to commit the moment to memory. 

The morning dawns a bit too quickly for either girl, the hours that passed while asleep far too short to fully rejuvenate them. Neither complains as they get ready for the day, but they both can feel it, the heavy weight of sleep deprivation pulling at their limbs, their minds moving like molasses. 

“Eat something, please,” Elphaba prompts- gently but firmly as she slides a tray Galinda’s way. They’re sitting away from her gaggle of friends today, and Elphaba’s hoping the more peaceful start to the morning will encourage Galinda to actually partake in breakfast. 

She knows Galinda isn’t purposefully starving herself, but it hurts to see her fade away all the same. She’s had to take her skirts in again, and she looks impossibly tiny even bundled up in thicker autumn clothing that hides her form. Despite nodding her assent, she still only picks at the food in front of her. 

“Come on, Galinda. These are the last fresh summer fruits we’re going to see for a while,” Elphaba wheedles. She plucks a strawberry from the fruit bowl, carefully cutting the top off before holding it out to Galinda, hand not wavering as they both stare each other down for a moment. 

Finally, with a small huff, Galinda leans forward and takes the strawberry straight from Elphaba’s hand, Elphaba grinning triumphantly at her win. She keeps feeding Galinda fruit from both Galinda’s bowl and her own, the blonde leaning against her shoulder drowsily, her eyes half-lidded as she chews slowly.

“Stop,” she eventually whispers, turning her head away when Elphaba offers more. “Stop, Elphaba, or it’s just going to come back up.”

Elphaba frowns at that, but she doesn’t push, setting the last piece down on her tray. Galinda whines, hand over her stomach as she curls even closer into Elphaba’s side. “Do you feel sick?” Elphaba checks, but she knows the answer even before Galinda shakes her head. 

“Just too much,” Galinda says, voice muffled by Elphaba’s sweater. Elphaba looks at the tray again. She’d managed to sneak in a few bites of porridge, but it was a paltry amount of food altogether. Half of Galinda’s problem these days seemed to be just that her system was no longer accustomed to being full. 

“We’ll work on it,” Elphaba says quietly, and she pretends not to hear when Galinda whines again, a childish sound of complaint. Her teeth bite into her cheek to hide her fond grin. They stay curled up like that for a moment, the breeze tugging at their sweaters as Galinda almost drops back to sleep. 

“Alright, silly,” Elphaba eventually says, pulling them both to their feet. “Let’s get to class.”

***

Class, dorm, city, Ozdust, sleep, rinse, repeat. That’s Elphaba’s life these days as time clicks ever forward. It’s…a lot. With Elphaba determined to still keep up as best she can in school, and also determined not to miss an outing that might let her talk with the Animals again, she’s been running herself nearly as ragged as, well, as Galinda. 

How the blonde has been going at this speed all semester is a mystery to Elphaba. Her body feels every hour of sleep she’s unable to get on this brutal new schedule, the exhaustion tugging at her lids through long lectures and lunch periods. The skin under her eyes darkens like a bruise, and her feet drag as she trudges onward. 

As her appetite wanes and her schedule fills, eating becomes an ongoing battle against time that it always seems to lose. Elphaba forgets lunch and then makes up for it at odd hours, studying in the library with bread in one hand and a book in the other. She’s starting to see why Galinda never seems to consume enough, and she hates that she’s letting herself fall into such terrible habits as well. Just days ago, she had been pestering the blonde, and now it’s Elphaba whose stomach is empty more often than it’s full.

Despite her best efforts, Elphaba’s performance at school also continues to regress-- an essay is returned covered in red, a pop quiz is handed back with a worried frown. The weight of her own failure burns in her chest, but she can’t bring herself to stop or slow down. She’s been yanked into this whirlwind orbit by a girl she’s already promised herself she’d follow to the ends of Oz. 

And while there are moments when Elphaba would give anything for Galinda to just pause for a second, she can no longer bring herself to be the one to ask. Not when she has her own motives for going out every night, for sneaking off from the dance floor to the back of the bar, mingling with Animals that still won’t let themselves be seen by Elphaba’s best friend. 

She pretends not to notice Galinda’s lingering looks as she walks away. She pretends not to notice the irritation between them that grows with every sleepless night. 

Subject. The word threads itself through her every thought, waking and slumbering, until she’s jerking awake from dreams that feel more like premonitions of a future that Elphaba cannot bear to see come to pass. Subject. What does it mean? Why is it important? 

Elphaba tries to do what the Animals said and asks around to see where her fellow students stand. The general consensus, however, seems to be that most of them just…don’t really care to try and figure it out. “Well, we’re all the Wizard’s subjects,” they say, but Elphaba doesn’t know if they really mean it.

“Even the Animals?” she prods, and a few of them shrug or frown or get a weird look on their face, but all of them eventually nod and say, “Sure. Even the Animals.”

It’s just…the students’ responses don’t seem to line up with the greater story at play. Elphaba knows the Animals wouldn’t have given her this task if it wasn’t important to them. She can see for herself the clear discrimination that runs rampant in Shiz City if one knows what to look for. She believes them when they say it’s a problem-- it just doesn’t seem to have made it to Shiz University. 

That’s…a good thing. Right?

Sleep continues to evade Elphaba, her mind too full to let her do much more than toss and turn and get just a few scant hours before she sees Galinda start to wake for her morning routine. The first time Elphaba had been caught wide awake when Galinda slid silently out of bed, the blonde had startled so badly she’d nearly fallen to the floor. Elphaba hadn’t known whether to be amused or concerned, and that alone was a telling sign of where both their moods were at. 

Occasionally, Elphaba will fall asleep in Galinda’s bed, or vice versa. Another thunderstorm rattles the glass of their dorm one night, and Galinda spends hours tucked in a ball, held in Elphaba’s arms as she shakes even harder than the branches in the wind. The next three nights in a row, Elphaba stays over in Galinda’s bed, and she doesn’t think she’s imagining the fact that they both sleep better when they’re together.

Still-- the fatigue begins to wear on Elphaba, more so than she’s ever had to deal with before. By the time the first frost coats the iron railings like lace, Elphaba has about hit the end of her rope, and she’s clinging desperately to the thin threads that remain. She’s moody and distant and finds herself snapping at Galinda when the other girl tries to ask her what’s wrong. And although she apologizes instantly, she can see that it hit Galinda harder than expected.  

“Galinda, I- I didn’t mean it like that,” Elphaba tries, but the truth is, she does want Galinda to leave her alone sometimes. Just long enough for Elphaba to think. To try to piece together her thoughts and feelings and the weight of all that has happened and changed since the semester started. Since she met Galinda. 

“It’s fine, Elphaba.”

“It’s not,” Elphaba whispers. Shame swirls within her, clashing against the irritation and fatigue and dragging on every limb and muscle until her whole body feels heavier than lead. So heavy she might sink right through the floor. 

“No, it is. I know I can be a bit-- can be too much. And that things have been hectic lately. It’s my fault, not yours. I’m sorry.”

The words to refute that--to say, immediately, that Elphaba doesn’t think that Galinda is too much, that Elphaba was the one who snapped and Galinda isn’t to blame--spring to the tip of her tongue. But--

She can’t make herself say them. They tangle behind her teeth, sticking like taffy to the roof of her mouth, unable to be pulled out despite the way her chest clenches at the sight of Galinda’s eyes glittering and her fingernails digging into the soft skin of her arms. 

“I’m just…stressed,” Elphaba offers, a paltry excuse that is both entirely true and not even close to the entire story. “About finals and the upcoming holidays and stuff. I don’t mean to take it out on you.”

“It’s fine, Elphaba, really.” 

Except it’s not fine, and normally Elphaba would say that, would make it clear she doesn’t agree with Galinda’s mindset that it’s alright for her to be made to feel bad about something that isn’t her fault. That it’s okay to accept being treated poorly by her own friend. If anyone else had snapped at Galinda like Elphaba just did, she’d have been livid at them. She is livid- at herself.

But Galinda starts moving before Elphaba can force her mouth to open, and the moment passes before she can figure out if she needs to do something to fix it. 

***

Spending a night out at the Ozdust never used to be Elphaba’s idea. It’s always been Galinda or Fiyero or one of their friends who suggested they stay out late on a school night. Elphaba is usually just pulled along for the ride because Galinda always invites her and Elphaba can’t bear to say no. 

But. With finals around the corner and everyone busy prepping for both that and the Snowball, no one has time to go get drunk and dance anymore. Things have taken a more serious turn at Shiz, and for the first time all semester, Elphaba starts to see the reputation Shiz has as a truly top-class education facility start to shine through. Finals are no joke here at Shiz, and none of the first years wants to be the one to underestimate them. 

So it’s entirely understandable that outings and careless nights start to be low on the priority list for other students. Which is really too bad…because Elphaba needs to go. She needs to meet with the Animals as often as possible-- she still has so many questions she wants to ask, so much she can feel she doesn’t know. And she wants to prove to them that she can be trusted, that she is a friend. 

The first time she brings up going, she does so under the guise of needing some fresh air to clear her head. “I’m starting to forget what the word ‘drought’ is supposed to look like,” she jokes weakly, and Galinda, thank Lurline, seems to buy it. By the third time she’s the one to ask, though, Galinda is definitely more than a little suspicious. Especially because Elphaba keeps sneaking off. 

“Where are you going?” Galinda finally asks, tugging at Elphaba’s arm to stop her from disappearing off the dance floor. It’s just them and two other students tonight-- the only friends who were interested in heading back so soon on yet another school night. 

“Just to, um, to get another drink,” Elphaba tries, wincing when both their eyes go to the very much full bottle in her hand. “I…don’t like the flavor of this one.”

Galinda’s brow furrows, a tiny pinch on her forehead that Elphaba has to resist the urge to reach out and poke. “You usually don’t have anything at all,” Galinda says. Which- isn’t entirely true anymore. Elphaba still prefers not to get drunk, but she’s been indulging in a drink or two the last few times they’ve come to the Ozdust. 

Something to maybe take the edge off, or to at least help her sleep easier at night. And she thinks it makes the Animals more comfortable if she’s drinking with them, not just sitting there observing. 

“Just one isn’t going to do anything,” Elphaba reassures Galinda, impatience starting to crawl under her skin as Galinda eyes her wordlessly but doesn’t release her hold. 

Please don’t ask to come with me, Elphaba internally begs, and there’s a flicker that passes over Galinda’s face as she searches Elphaba and eventually- lets go. 

“Just…remember we have class in the morning,” Galinda says softly. As though it’s not usually Galinda who gets stumbling drunk every time they come out here, mysterious immunity to hangovers or not. 

“I’ll be right back,” Elphaba promises, and the words they both know are a lie taste like ash on her tongue. Her throat swells, and she turns and hustles away before she can choke on her guilt in front of the person she loves. 

The number of Animals that appear each night varies, and Elphaba has yet to learn a single name. She knows their faces, though, their bulk and shadow as she slides past the bar and makes for the table in the back. Here, even if she turns her head to the dance floor, she is too far away and with too many people between them to spot the golden edge of Galinda’s hair. 

“Green one,” a Hare greets her, nodding as her leg taps a quick beat against the chair. They all know Elphaba’s name, but it rarely gets said. That just seems to be the way of things with the Animals. Elphaba gives a soft greeting as she slides in to sit between a Wolf and an Owl, hands nervously clenched around the glass of her bottle. 

Elphaba rarely says much at these little meetings. The Animals keep up a steady stream of casual chatter, no different than any other group of friends. Elphaba does what she knows they want-- she listens, occasionally asking questions for clarification. She absorbs all the information that she can, and she makes sure to keep track of what isn’t said just as much as what is. 

In her last few visits, the Animals haven’t really said anything of much importance. They grumble and complain, going off on tangents about how hard it is to care for children when the job market is so slow, but only a few new rumors have surfaced, most of them said quickly and then dismissed before Elphaba can dig deeper. 

Elphaba is still trying to figure out her place in the mix. That drive to do more still burns within her. She never wants to feel that awful shame of having stood by and done nothing again. She wants to speak out, she wants to stand up, she wants to make sure that everyone sees and believes what she does-- that the Animals are people and they are just as deserving of respect as anyone. 

More than that, she wants to figure out what’s been going on with what Lyra told her all that time ago about the Animals losing their ability to speak. She’s been thinking it over these past couple of weeks, and it sounds like something much bigger is at play than just some societal discord or discrimination. What if there’s something else hurting the Animals? What if they need proper help? 

But none of the Animals have brought up anything actionable that she can do to help them. Aside from her first mission to ask around the student body at Shiz, they've mostly just let her be a drinking buddy and listen in on their chats. Elphaba wants to do more. There’s a problem in front of her, and her mind won’t let her rest until she’s picked it apart and done her very best to solve it. 

It takes two weeks of visits, two weeks of Galinda watching quietly as Elphaba disappears into the shadows, for Elphaba to finally hear something that has her ears perking up and her magic thrumming under her palms. “Just for one night, hopefully,” a Donkey says, his tone low and slow. “We have a meeting-- it’s already confirmed.”

Elphaba breathes in deep, squashing the emotion out of her voice before she speaks. “You’re going to the Emerald City?”

The Donkey’s ears flick as he nods. “Don’t have much choice. Harvest season should’ve turned things around, but no one is buying. We got word about a month ago that the license for our Marketplace booth has expired, and we already tried Town Hall. They forwarded us to the City.”

Another piece of the problem puzzle. 

A stupid, giddy, verging-on-jealousy sort of feeling bubbles up in Elphaba’s gut as she nods calmly. “That’s good, right? You can go right to the source.”

The Donkey’s eyes narrow slightly. “Haven’t you been listenin’? Animals that go to the Emerald City don’t come back.”

Elphaba is almost certain that those rumors aren’t the full story. But the Wolf’s hackles are starting to bristle and the Hare drums an anxious rhythm against her chair. Elphaba knows she has to tread carefully here. She knows that the Animal’s opinion of the Emerald City, of the Wizard, is different than hers. They didn’t grow up pinning all their hopes and dreams on a single person. They don’t see the Wizard as a means of helping them. 

“But now you know to be cautious- and you can gather intel on what might have gone wrong on those other trips.”

A research trip. That’s the way to look at it. The studious side of Elphaba’s brain wakes up, the part of her that has always been hungry for knowledge, for learning. There has to be more to these stories than simple license renewals, and the Emerald City is the best place in Oz to try and get some real information on the issue. Elphaba would kill for the chance to go herself.

“I mean-- this is your chance to finally have facts instead of just rumors. You can gather information and report back!” 

The Wolf growls low in his throat. “This isn’t a game, girl. Our lives are at stake here.”

“I- I know but--”

“It’s not that simple, Elphaba.” The use of her actual name pulls her up short. Her eyes meet those of the Owl, deep and wise. “It isn’t just rumor we’ve been talking about. These are real stories from real Animals who are in real trouble. The City has never been kind to us, and the things we’ve heard ‘reported’ back to us have only gotten worse in the last few years.”

“Don’t you see?” the Hare whispers, nervous and fast. “New licenses and trips to the city that you never return from. It’s all on purpose! They’re coming for us! That’s why they don’t want us to talk. They- they see us as animals.”

Everyone there can hear the difference in that last word. Elphaba feels something cold slither down her spine. The Animals have been living alongside humans for as long as anyone can remember. She knew things were getting bad, but this? An intentional plot to drive the Animals out? To silence them? 

“That…can’t possibly--”

“It is,” the Wolf cuts off. He shakes his head, teeth flashing as he grimaces. “Animals are losing their voices. They’re disappearing. They’re being fired from jobs and kicked out of housing and denied customers and service. We’re told there are new laws being passed. What does that sound like to you? Who has the power to do such a thing?”

Elphaba swallows hard, her mind reeling. This suddenly seems so much bigger than she’d imagined. So much darker. This is the first time in weeks the Animals have engaged in more than grumbled, vague complaints or personal venting. This is the first time in weeks she’s been able to press the issue that stuck with her the first time. 

Is someone responsible for this? 

Elphaba, her heart pounding in her chest and her magic running cold instead of its usual quick-tempered heat, feels suddenly sick to her stomach. She hadn’t wanted to believe it. She’d been so busy the past couple of weeks that she’d let that part slip from her mind. Because it-- it hurt to see how much it made sense. 

The Owl sighs. “We understand that it’s hard for you to hear, Elphaba. But this is a reality that has been on the horizon since before you were born. A slow and steady shift in society that has started to pick up speed. This isn’t just a conspiracy theory or unwarranted concern. This is real. This is happening.”

The Owl hops up onto the table and leans in close enough that Elphaba has to steel herself not to look away from that piercing golden gaze. “The question is-- are you still willing to help us do something about it?”

Elphaba’s lungs spasm and catch, her breath freezing. This is what she’d been hoping for, isn’t it? A chance for action, for trust. The ability to do something and to help others. She looks around at the Animals at the table and realizes this isn’t just some group of commiserating friends. These are the seeds of resistance-- a shared drive and anger against a common foe. 

Against…the Wizard. 

Is Elphaba willing to help them with that? Unbidden, Elphaba’s gaze turns towards the dance floor. She has a feeling she’s about to get in way over her head.  

“Yes.”

Chapter Text

Elphaba decides, very quickly, that she absolutely hates lying to Galinda. Even if it’s not really lying, just…omission, it still feels wrong. 

She tells herself this will be temporary. That she’ll tell Galinda as soon as she’s able, that she doesn’t want to keep this secret, it’s just that she has to in order to gain the Animals’ trust. But the truth is…a part of her isn’t so sure about telling Galinda at all. 

Galinda probably has enough on her plate already, after all. She has her own problems that she’s dealing with, problems she hasn’t told Elphaba about either. 

The morning after the Ozdust dawns heavy and grey, the sun unable to push through the thick cloud cover. The light coming through their dorm windows is a pale, reluctant thing, just barely catching the dust in its glow as Elphaba pries her sticky eyes open. It’s early-- Galinda still asleep on the other side of the room as Elphaba frowns at the ceiling. 

She hasn’t been sleeping well lately. Neither of them has, but for Elphaba, it feels like it’s been particularly rough. She isn’t used to having to push past such fatigue and keep going about her day like this. It weighs on her, dragging at each limb and eyelid until she has to pinch herself to stay awake during class. 

She can already tell today is going to be especially hard. The Ozdust lingers on her skin, the stale scent of the air and the bitter taste of the alcohol. The Animals’ voices circle her thoughts, their stories and warnings and cautious plans. Their shaky, tentative trust. She doesn’t want to let them down, and they’ve left her with so very much to think about. 

Is someone responsible for this? 

Elphaba sighs, clenching her eyes shut hard enough to see stars. She doesn’t know how to handle these new doubts and theories. Her brain shies viciously away from the conclusion she knows the Animals are trying to bring her toward, a direct refusal to entertain the thought that her entire life and goals and dreams were built upon a lie. 

Does she really know the Wizard? Is he really what she thinks he is? 

She just-- she wishes she could talk to someone, anyone, who isn’t as biased as the Animals. Eyes flicking back open to reveal the tear-blurred ceiling, Elphaba can’t stop her head from turning to the side, her gaze finding Galinda, still asleep in her bed, her face relaxed and partially covered by her hand. 

She wants to tell her. But- she can’t. Not just because of the Animals and her promise. If she tells Galinda everything--all the stories, all the theories--what will Galinda say? What will she do? How will she react? It can only go one of two ways, and Elphaba is scared of either one coming true. 

The first option, though she’s loath to even think it, is that Galinda simply won’t care. Elphaba doesn’t want to think of Galinda like that. Despite the girl’s hesitance in the dress shop and her Gillikinese upbringing, Elphaba truly can’t imagine that Galinda, her Galinda, would be so apathetic and cruel. That she would ever wish such hardship on anyone, Animal or not. It just-- she can’t be like that. 

But the second option--the one where Galinda does care, where she is just as invigorated as Elphaba, where she asks to help just like Elphaba--somehow seems even more frightening. Because Galinda is a fixer. She likes things to be neat and orderly and in their place. She hates when anything is even remotely messed up, whether that be the simple organization of her beauty products, a school assignment she’s working on, or a social blunder that has a friend distraught-- Galinda can’t help but try and fix it. 

That’s why she’s been running herself so ragged over these past few months, isn’t it? Because Galinda likes things to be perfect, and college is anything but. She signed herself up to be the lead helper for almost every organization at school, and she made a name for herself as someone that absolutely any student could go to with any problem. And Galinda is-- she’s brilliant at it. It was one of the first things Elphaba admired about her. 

The ease with which she would entertain the gaggle of grievances that were brought to her by student after student. The way she’d somehow manage to make every person who came before her feel as though their small problem had her absolute undivided attention. The unshakeable faith the student body had in her after they realized how good of a doer Galinda was, always helping out, always pitching in, always fixing everything, so that every group project or social outing or club event went off without a hitch. 

So Elphaba knows, deep down, that if Galinda cares about the Animals even half as much as Elphaba does, she will want to fix it, to save everyone. She’ll throw herself into the cause with that unrelenting fire that makes people love her until she burns herself down to the wick. And Elphaba cannot, will not, be the one who hands her the match.

Galinda can’t take anything more on her plate. And Elphaba refuses to be the last straw that finally breaks the fragile girl. 

***

By the time Galinda wakes to start her morning routine, Elphaba feels thoroughly exhausted by the weight of her thoughts. She lets herself lie there, the autumn chill seeping into her bones and making them feel like they’re made of stone, heavy and solid and impossible to move. She has a hand thrown over her face and half a thought to just-- stay here, like this, rotting away in bed. 

A small knock on the side of a trunk is what breaks her from her slump. “Elphaba? You best get up now,” Galinda calls softly. “We only have about twenty minutes until class.”

Twenty minutes. Galinda is nothing if not punctual. She always has her days planned out to the minute--she has to with how busy she usually is--and she always seems to know the precise amount of time needed for things: Elphaba to get ready in the morning, ShenShen to ramble about the newest sale, Fiyero to remember where they agreed to meet up. Her internal clock is better than anyone’s Elphaba has ever met. 

“Elphaba?” Galinda’s voice once again breaks through her musings. “Are you feeling alright?”

Sighing internally, Elphaba finally rips the hand away from her face so she can open her eyes and nod. She’s tired, and her morning spent on the verge of spiralling has done nothing to help the pounding headache forming behind her eyes and the fatigue that pulls at her limbs. With as much grace as she can muster--which is, admittedly, quite little--Elphaba pulls herself from her bed. 

Morning slips by slowly, Elphaba moving through her classes as if underwater, barely even acknowledging Galinda by her side. Somewhere in the back of her head, she’s aware that she’s worrying the younger girl, exactly what she doesn’t want to do, but she doesn’t have the energy to spare for the chatter and gossip of Galinda’s group of friends. Instead, she hangs silently on the outskirts, picking at her lunch and staring at the words swimming uselessly across her notes. 

Galinda keeps trying to check in, but Elphaba feels guilt tangle in her gut every time Galinda looks up at her with those worried brown eyes of hers. She hates lying to Galinda-- even if it's for the other girl’s benefit. Even if she has to in order to keep her promise to the Animals. Even if she is scared, deep down, of what Galinda’s response might be. 

She still hates it, and she hates that even in avoiding having to lie outright, having to look Galinda in the eyes and say, “Nothing, I’m fine,” she feels like she is betraying the best and only friend she’s ever had. 

Eventually, Elphaba tries slipping off to the library to clear her head, but she should’ve known that wouldn’t work-- she’d already revealed this hiding place to Galinda. The blonde catches up to her not even an hour later, and Elphaba can’t quite hide the irritation from showing on her face or in her voice. 

“S-Sorry,” Galinda stammers, clearly catching on. “It’s just, you were gone, and I wasn--”

“Did it ever occur to you that I didn’t want you to find me?” Elphaba snaps, regretting the words the second they leave her mouth. 

She doesn’t even mean them, not really; it’s just that- that Galinda can be a lot sometimes, the way she makes Elphaba’s head spin and her stomach swoop and her chest ache. The way she lights up a room and draws in a crowd. The way she seemingly can never stand to be apart from Elphaba for more than a class length. 

“I-- I didn’t mean that,” Elphaba stammers, and a dizzying sense of deja vu washes over her, because hadn’t they just done this? 

“No, no, it’s okay.” Galinda shrinks back, her hands coming up to cup her elbows as she swallows hard enough for her throat to visibly bob. “It’s me who should apologize.”

“Galinda, no, I shouldn’t have--”

“It’s okay, Elphaba,” Galinda repeats, even though it’s anything but. “You told me to give you some space, and I-I should’ve respected that, I’m sorry.”

And then she’s gone, vanishing back down the stairs practically before Elphaba can process what she’s said. Shit. Why does she keep making these same, stupid mistakes?! 

Scrambling to her feet, Elphaba drops her books onto the bench behind her and dashes down the stairs, catching up to Galinda before she can slip back out the door onto the main floor. The blonde has her eyes closed as Elphaba pulls her deeper into the restricted section, her arms hugging herself as she breathes in shaky stutters. 

“Galinda, I’m sorry,” Elphaba says desperately. “I didn’t mean it, not the other day and not now either. I-- The last thing I want is for you to leave me.”

Galinda doesn’t say anything for a second, just standing there, trembling slightly, Elphaba’s hands on her arms keeping her steady and her eyes still shut. More guilt strikes through Elphaba’s gut-- hot and piercing as she kicks herself internally. 

“Galinda?” she says softly. The girl still doesn’t respond. Her breaths are coming in some strange, shaky pattern, and she’s started to rock slightly, her body swaying as much as it’s able in Elphaba’s grasp. Her concern growing by the second, Elphaba gives the girl’s shoulders a sharp shake, calling her name slightly louder. 

Galinda’s eyes pop open with a gasp, darting around like she’s not quite sure of her surroundings. They take far longer than they should to focus on Elphaba’s worried expression, tears welling in the corners as she suddenly releases herself to grab onto Elphaba’s wrists. 

“Galinda?” Elphaba asks, starting to sound like a broken record. “Are you okay?” 

There’s a brief pause before Galinda seems to snap back into herself, nodding quickly and clearing the strange expression from her face with a weak smile. “Fine!” she squeaks out, letting go of Elphaba’s wrists to tangle her fingers together. “Sorry, I-- I’m sorry, Elphaba.”

“It’s…It’s nothing; I’m the only one who should apologize. Are- Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, I-I’m fine.”

Those dreaded two words. Elphaba really hated them sometimes. But Galinda can be stubborn, and Elphaba can’t wrangle her own thoughts and feelings together quite well enough at the moment to push, so she takes the coward’s way out and lets Galinda get away with it.

“Were you…looking for me for a particular reason?” she asks instead. 

Galinda winces, turning her face away as she stammers. “No, I-- Well, I was talking, and then I turned and you were gone, and I- I thought-- I mean- I don’t know, you- you were gone.”

Elphaba’s brow furrows as she tries to piece together the fractured, stuttered syllables. Galinda shifts from foot to foot, not quite rocking, but clearly on edge. Anxious and unsettled-- more than she would normally let show. Elphaba feels that old, familiar worry wind itself around her gut. 

“I’m sorry,” she says again. “I shouldn’t have left without saying anything.”

The thing is-- Elphaba used to know better. There was a time when Galinda really was clingy, and she would chase after Elphaba like she couldn’t stand to be more than a few feet apart. But as the weeks passed, separating grew easier, with Galinda sometimes going off with her friends, clubs, and committees while Elphaba stayed back to study. 

And even recently, Galinda had no problem dancing with Fiyero or her other friends while Elphaba snuck off to the Animals’ table in the back of the Ozdust. They were never apart for very long, nor for very far, but-- 

Elphaba glances at the library wall to double-check. It’s not even been an hour. 

“It’s fine,” Galinda mumbles. She takes a deep breath, holds it, and then seemingly shakes herself out. When she looks back up at Elphaba, her face has smoothed into a neutral, pleasant expression-- exactly the kind of mask that she presents to the rest of the world. 

I thought I was past that side of her. 

“I was, um, I was just studying. If you’d…like to join me,” Elphaba offers. Coward, she hisses internally. Her fingers tighten at her sides, and shame darkens her cheeks. She knows there’s more that needs to be said. A conversation, a real one, is needed. 

But she just-- she can’t do it. The words don’t come. She can’t foresee any way to even start working through everything they need to address. Their health. Their grades. Their friendship. The secrets Elphaba has been keeping. The secrets Galinda has been keeping. 

Elphaba just can’t do it. So she takes a page out of Galinda’s book instead, taking a breath and pushing her emotions and worries aside to pretend, just for a moment, that they’re nothing more than two college students trying to prepare for finals. Galinda gives her a tiny, grateful nod, and she leads the way back up the stairs, hoping for some sense of normalcy. 

But--

Coward, she still hears. And she knows that the voice is right. 

***

Elphaba finds herself back in the ballroom before too long. The Ozdust is rapidly becoming even more familiar than campus, Elphaba’s hands clutching a bottle of beer that she knows will taste disgusting but at least gives her something for her anxious fingers to fiddle with. She’s hovering on the edge of the dance floor, eyes tracking flashes of pink and gold. 

She’s on fairly good footing with the Animals now. She had promised that she’d help them, whatever that meant, and she thinks she’s finally gotten through to even the wariest of the group. Elphaba feels like there’s some invisible clock ticking down in her head, and she knows the Animals feel a similar one, counting the days before the Donkey is meant to get back to them about his trip to the Emerald City. 

I wish I could be there, Elphaba thinks. She wants more than anything to go to the city, to be more proactive in her assistance to the cause. ‘The cause.’ The thought nearly makes her snort. It sounds dramatic and mysterious and like something much too big to be sitting on a college student’s shoulders. Yet-- that’s what it is, isn’t it? Something much bigger than just some mild discrimination in town. Something much deeper than a simple lack of respect. 

Elphaba gulps down a swig of bitter beer and bites her inner cheek hard enough to hurt. She has no idea what she’s gotten herself into. Not really. Her mind is so muddled lately that she doesn’t even know if her own thoughts make any sense. And the one constant that’s keeping her anchored, herself, is falling apart at the seams. 

A beautiful disaster. Blonde hair spins out of view, and Elphaba wonders which of the pair is self-destructing faster. 

“She’s quite something,” a voice startles Elphaba, head whipping around to take in the Ram beside her. He meets her eyes briefly before tipping his horned head back toward Galinda. “Your friend. You haven’t been able to take your eyes off her.”

“I--” And Elphaba doesn’t really know what to say, suddenly feeling awkward and trapped. There’s something kind and knowing in the Ram’s eyes. “Yeah, she is. She’s…something.”

“You’ve arrived and left together every night I’ve seen you. Yet, you haven’t tried to introduce her nor has she attempted to introduce herself.” 

They’re factual statements, but Elphaba can hear the implicit question in them, the way he must be wondering why Elphaba hasn’t connected the two. He doesn’t normally come this close to the dance floor, none of the Animals do, so Elphaba hadn’t realized they’d been keeping such close track of her comings and goings. Or that they’d even noticed Galinda. 

Though- now that she thinks about it, how could they not? How could anyone not notice Galinda as she twirls across the floor, shining under the neon lights and glowing like a miniature sun. How could they not be drawn to her incomparable energy, her quick bursts of laughter and her fleeting but beautiful smiles? 

“She’s…my best friend,” Elphaba says softly. Her thumb traces around the rim of the bottle, over and over and over. The faint noise it makes is lost to the pounding drums and cheers, but it’s soothing nonetheless. 

The Ram nods, even though Elphaba hadn’t really answered his unspoken question. Isn’t even sure she can. “Do you trust her?” he asks instead, pointed and probing in a way that makes panic shoot up Elphaba’s spine. 

Does she trust Galinda? She knows what the Ram is asking, and a part of her desperately wants to plead Galinda’s case, to beg for the chance to not have this secret weighing on her chest any longer. She wants to say yes, of course, you can trust her, she will help you. 

Except--

Can they? Will she? 

Her silence is telling, her tongue thick and useless in her mouth as she struggles to find her words. “I- I do,” Elphaba tries, a nervous buzzing in her veins making her shift uncomfortably. She clears her throat and tries to sound more confident. “I trust her.”

The Ram hums, hoof tapping against the floor. “We could use all the help we can get,” he says slowly. “The others are…wary, of course. But you have a good heart, Elphaba Thropp. I can’t imagine you’d be best friends with someone who doesn’t.”

A good heart. The compliment almost hurts, squeezing at Elphaba’s chest until she has to release one hand to rub at her sternum, guilty and flattered and confused. She had thought the Animals hated all humans, especially people like Galinda. She had thought they barely tolerated Elphaba herself. To hear they had such trust in Elphaba, so much as to believe in Galinda just by virtue of association, makes her want to simultaneously beam and cry. 

“I- I don’t know what to say.”

“Well. Do you think your friend would help us?”

The beer in Elphaba’s stomach twists and spoils. “What would you have her do?” she whispers, and she knows the Ram has noticed her lack of true answer. 

The Animals haven’t asked much of Elphaba so far. Most recently, they’ve been encouraging her to delve deeper into the mindset of the people she meets, bringing back reports on how students and Shiz City citizens feel about Animal rights. She’s passed along a few messages to a Mare in town who doesn’t come to the Ozdust, but that’s about the extent of her help.

What do they want from Galinda that I can’t give? And…is it something she can afford to give?

“Same as you, mostly,” the Ram begins. “But like you said-- your friend is something else. I’ve seen her in here before, always with a crowd around her. People know her. They admire her. We could…use someone like that.”

Elphaba does her best not to let the words sting. After all- the Ram is right. It’s the same kind of thoughts Elphaba herself has had. For all that the students at Shiz have accepted her and her green skin, she’s still an outsider, given a pass simply because she is Galinda’s friend. Wasn’t it Galinda who managed to get everyone to respect Dr. Dillamond? Wasn’t it Galinda who made it clear that picking on either one of them wouldn’t be tolerated? 

Even without truly knowing who she is, it’s impossible to deny the power Galinda holds. Elphaba supposes she shouldn’t be surprised that the Animals would pick up on it, that they would want to use it for themselves. Maybe in another life, Elphaba would even be the one to suggest it. But--

Elphaba watches Galinda spin from one person to the next, honing in on the faint tremble in her limbs and the sweat that dots her brow. At the hazy, unfocused look in her eyes and the unnatural flush on her otherwise pale cheeks. People only have time for one life, and Elphaba is terrified that the more Galinda tries to help people, the sooner her time will run out. 

“I suppose,” Elphaba begins cautiously, that sense of deja vu returning as she makes yet another hard decision, “I could ask her. Galinda. If she’d be willing to help.”

The Ram hums, expression neutral but his eyes look pleased. Hopeful. “Be careful about it,” he says, and Elphaba nods. “And be quick.”

“Quick? Why?”

There’s a pause where the Ram seems to weigh how much to tell her. His great horned head tilts back to meet her eyes. “It’s just a hunch,” he says lowly. “But I have a feeling something big is coming. And we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

***

Elphaba does not ask Galinda right away. There’s…not really an easy way to do it, is there? She hems and haws and deliberates with it for most of the night and much of the following morning. It’s only when Galinda starts sending her increasingly worried glances that Elphaba realizes she really can’t keep it to herself any longer. 

The conversation goes…shockingly well, all things considered. Elphaba is about bursting with anxiety when she pulls Galinda over to sit beside her on the bed, trying to muster the courage to just say it. Galinda, she can tell, is getting more nervous by the second, but when Elphaba finally does stutter through an explanation of what she’s been up to--the Ozdust trips and Animal meetings and the Mare in town--it’s almost as if the blonde is relieved. 

“That’s all?” Galinda says, and it’s not even sarcastic; she genuinely seems as though she was expecting something worse, her shoulders slumping and some of the stress falling out of her expression. “Oz, Elphaba, I-- I thought you were…”

“Thought I was what?” Elphaba prompts after a moment when Galinda doesn’t continue. Galinda just shakes her head, leaning over to slump against Elphaba’s side, her cheek landing on Elphaba’s shoulder as she tangles their fingers together. 

“I don’t even know. Just-- I don’t think I was expecting that.” 

She squeezes Elphaba’s hand, thumb running over Elphaba’s knuckles. She seems deep in thought for a moment, and there’s still a tightness in Elphaba’s chest as she wonders what will come next. Eventually, Galinda tilts her head up, a tiny smile on her lips. 

“Tell me more?” she asks, and Elphaba feels her own surge of relief. She takes the opening, her speech smoothing out from its previous halting stammers as she gets lost in the conversation, emboldened by Galinda’s occasional murmur and nod, until she’s practically venting to the girl all her frustrations from the last couple of weeks.  

“It’s not right,” she says more than once. “It’s just not right.”

She doesn’t say everything, choosing to keep her doubts about the Wizard and the Donkey’s upcoming Emerald City trip to herself. She isn’t sure if Galinda is ready for those parts. Hell, Elphaba is barely ready for them, tending to skirt around them even in her own mind. Instead, she focuses on realer, more tangible issues, like the incident with the Gazelle and the stories some of the Animals have mentioned about losing jobs. And voices. 

By the time she’s done, she’s practically panting, adrenaline making her blood run hot as she sheepishly untangles her fingers from the iron grip they’ve got on Galinda’s. “Sorry,” she mumbles, a flush spreading across her cheeks as things calm down. 

Elphaba glances down at the younger girl and is struck by the expression looking back at her, Galinda’s mouth parted just a little and her eyes as dark and wide as the night sky. She has this strange crease to her brow and a swirling, aching, longing sense of emotion in her gaze that reminds Elphaba of their first Ozdust dance, or that time in the garden, or the night Galinda was sick and feverish, leaning over Elphaba and telling her history repeats itself. 

It makes Elphaba oddly self-conscious, like she’s being looked at and looked through, by a girl who is years younger than her but at times feels eons older. “Galinda?” she prods, watching Galinda almost physically snap back into focus as she blinks several times and takes a shaky breath. 

“Yes, I-- sorry.” Galinda leans back, running a trembling hand through her hair in a noticeably unusual nervous tic. She laughs softly, head ducked so she isn’t looking at Elphaba. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Galinda says. “You’ve always been so…passionate.” 

Elphaba nibbles on her bottom lip, feeling a touch odd-footed now. “Are- are you okay with it?” she cautiously asks. 

There’s a tiny beat that has Elphaba’s heart leaping into her throat before Galinda lifts her head again and meets Elphaba’s eyes. “Of course, I’m okay with it,” Galinda says firmly. She squeezes their clasped hands, and the strangeness of before is replaced by steely determination. “I want to help.”

Elphaba feels a weight slide off her shoulders at the acceptance, but it’s almost immediately replaced by a different set of worries instead. Even as she feels a bubbly sort of glee and a sickly sort of shame at the fact that Galinda didn’t even hesitate. Even as she curses herself for ever having doubted the blonde. Elphaba thinks, strained smile upon her lips: 

That’s just what I was afraid of.

***

Life moves quickly after that. Truthfully, all the days have been blurring together for Elphaba, so much so that she can barely keep track of which classroom she’s meant to be going to next. That invisible clock keeps on ticking, and this time, Galinda is being yanked right along beside her. 

In all honesty, nothing actually changes right away, but there’s a certain sort of energy now to all their interactions, and Galinda takes to this new task with the same fervor she tackles all her problems. She already has plans and ideas concocted by the time they go to bed that night, and Elphaba blinks blearily at her crouched over her desk the following morning with a tiny knot of dread in her stomach. 

“Just-- don’t overdo it,” Elphaba tries hopelessly to warn her that first morning. “I know you have a lot on your plate already.”

“Don’t worry, Elphaba,” Galinda replies, even though Elphaba is obviously still going to, “I’ll be fine.”

That dreaded word becomes the new mantra of their daily lives, both of them throwing it out with ease despite both of them feeling anything but. Elphaba continues to drag herself through the day by her fingernails, clinging to her sanity as she gulps down as much caffeine as her system can take. And then just a little bit more, for good measure. 

Another few days pass in a grind of school, city, study, Ozdust, repeat. Galinda has somehow doubled their number of outings, trying to encourage her friends to go holiday shopping as a way to get out into the city, poking their noses into Animal business wherever seems appropriate. It feels good, it feels meaningful, but Oz, Elphaba has never felt so tired before. Her emotions wobble like badly stacked books, and at this point, Elphaba is just waiting for the inevitable moment when they all come crashing down. 

Her school performance is something she’d really rather not think about. Galinda has been helping her out a lot on assignments, but Elphaba knows it’s only a temporary measure-- having someone else do her work won’t help her any when it comes time to sit their exams. The end of the semester gets closer and closer with every hour that passes, and Elphaba just isn’t prepared. 

The words in her books blur in front of her eyes, and she can barely pay attention enough to take notes during lecture. The stress eats away at her, and she knows it’s getting bad, getting too noticeable, when even Nessarose, who isn’t always the most observant of people, corners Elphaba to ask if she’s okay. 

“I’m fine,” Elphaba says, and she hates herself just a little for the disbelief that crosses her sister’s face. 

At night, the girls head together to the back of the Ozdust ballroom, where Galinda does her best to ingratiate herself with the Animals. They don’t trust her yet--hell, they barely trust Elphaba--but she is proving herself useful in a way that Elphaba can tell impresses the group. 

Galinda has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of all the businesses in town and most of the residents as well. She has personally met and talked with nearly every student at Shiz, and she’s more than willing to start pushing more Animal-friendly agendas at all her club meetings, suggesting end-of-year and holiday-inspired events they can organize that will further their cause. 

“A toy drive for the Animal children,” she says brightly, just another on a long list of ideas she’s brought to this meeting. Their little ballroom chats have never felt so formal before-- but Galinda has a way of conducting herself that is oddly reminiscent of a queen holding court, so innately charismatic that the Animals barely seem to notice their drinks going untouched, invested as they are in the discussion. 

Elphaba can’t help but feel proud of her friend, even as her gaze ducks under the table to where Galinda’s fingers are tangled together, pulling and pulling and pulling at each other in a nervous habit that she’s noticed getting worse these past few weeks. Galinda has been getting worse these past few weeks, often lost in thought until Elphaba prods at her.

Sometimes, she gets so worked up by the littlest things, fretting over details on their Snowball gowns and spiraling over a passing comment Fiyero makes at lunch. More than once since their talk, Elphaba has had to pull her aside and help her calm down, carefully pressing one of her hands to Elphaba’s own chest. 

“Breathe,” she’ll coax, taking her own deep inhales to encourage Galinda to follow along. Galinda always looks a little embarrassed afterward, so Elphaba hasn’t said anything, but she knows it’s just another sign of how much stress they’re under. It’s part of why she’d been so worried about bringing Galinda into the fold to begin with. 

But Galinda is a natural when it comes to these types of things, and despite her anxieties, she quickly starts to win the Animals over. After hearing from them personally about some of their struggles, she’s come up with a long list of possible ways to help, grouped by priority and color-coded, of course. She lays them out neatly for the Animals one night, almost a full week after Elphaba had asked her to join. 

“You’ve…really thought this through,” Elphaba later commends, and once again she has to wonder- where does Galinda find the time. 

A tiny, embarrassed blush colors Galinda’s pale cheeks. She looks down at the river below them as they make their way back to school, the moonlight rippling in soft, silver waves. “I’ve had a while to think about it,” Galinda says softly. “All the things that need changed.”

The weather grows steadily colder, and tonight, Elphaba can see the breath fog in the air between them, her teeth gritting every time the breeze blows through her sweater. It’s hot under the lights of the Ozdust, too many bodies in one small area. But out on the open river, the sweat cools quickly, and Elphaba feels shivers wrack her thinning frame. 

“Are you cold?” Galinda asks, sliding closer as Elphaba wraps her arms around herself. 

“Just…a tad,” Elphaba admits. She gazes up at the blue Shiz sail, wishing the boat to move along just a little bit faster. Sometimes they take the rowboats, but the cool autumn winds make it easier to use the sails on the way back, the current naturally moving toward the school on the same route the students arrived by on their very first day. 

Galinda glances up as well, frowning as she pulls at her own fingers. “I think-- I might know a way we can move things along.”

“Yeah?” Elphaba’s jaw hurts from how hard it is to keep her teeth from chattering. She’ll take any suggestion right about now. 

“Well-- I know Morrible has coached you on weather manipulation before,” Galinda starts slowly. She glances at the cloudless sky and then the barely filled sail. “Air, at least, is something you’ve definitely gone over.”

She’s right, but Elphaba is reluctant to admit that she was never very good at those lessons, and Morrible had moved on to areas that she was clearly more gifted in- like levitation. The most Elphaba had ever been able to do was a pathetic breeze barely strong enough to lift a page in her textbook. She stumbles through explaining that to Galinda, feeling her cheeks burn with a type of warmth she rather dislikes.

“That’s okay, I can help. I mean-- help teach you.” Galinda sends her a fleeting grin. “Air manipulation is a good trick to know in general.”

Galinda has been helping Elphaba a lot with her sorcery lessons lately. It’s not that Morrible isn’t a good teacher-- she is. And she’s patient, even when Elphaba herself gets frustrated by another failure. But Galinda is just…she’s good at it, easily explaining concepts that normally would take Elphaba ages to work her head around. She comes at it from a different angle, one more relatable for a beginner than Morrible’s easy displays of power. 

Like right now, when she takes Elphaba’s hand, warming her palm as she talks Elphaba through focusing and looking into herself for that well of magic just waiting to be used. She guides Elphaba through the motions, reassuring her when it takes a few wobbly tries before she finally manages a steady gust of wind into their sail, pushing the sailboat along at double its original pace. 

“You did it!” Galinda cries, beaming at Elphaba even as she sways slightly, looking tired and worn out.

Elphaba lets the satisfaction of her success warm her core as she grabs Galinda and settles them back down on the bench, bundling the smaller girl in her arms even though Galinda tends not to be as sensitive to the cold as Elphaba is. Must be a Gillikinese thing. 

“I did,” she agrees softly. “Thanks to you.”

Galinda smiles again, relaxing into Elphaba’s hold and letting her head rest against the taller girl’s shoulder. It takes some concentration to keep the wind going, but Galinda seems about ready to nod off, eyelids fluttering as she gazes out over the empty landscape. She’s not drunk, neither of them are tonight, but she feels distant nonetheless.

“Elphaba?” she queries. “Tell me a secret.”

And-- oh. How dare she ask that now. How dare she ask Elphaba that when she’s all but in her lap, hair shining silver instead of gold under the moon, pale and ethereal and as beautiful as ever. How dare she ask that when Elphaba’s veins are still buzzing with magic and delight, when her mind is so exhausted that her lips are as loose as a drunk’s.