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Chapter Text

Big thank you to corviddenart on tumblr for this beautiful cover art:

~

After the Hexcore is destroyed, they float.

Viktor spends some indeterminate time assuming that he and Jayce are dead, and that what they’re experiencing – in the loosest possible sense – is some sort of afterlife. Except Jayce is with him, and there’s no pain, so he’d be inclined to call it heaven.

There are impressions of what might have once been his physical senses, his emotions, his memories, his thoughts… it’s hard to distinguish between any of it. The clearest part of it all is Jayce. If Viktor can see, he’s seeing Jayce’s face, his smile and his gentle eyes. If Viktor can hear, it’s a vague echo of Jayce’s voice murmuring around him. If Viktor can touch or taste or smell, it’s by surging closer to Jayce, wrapping around him, merging warmly with him. They’re not occupying a place, as such, but there’s a background awareness that they’re surrounded by… others. Other souls, maybe, or other lives they might have lived. 

Mostly, they’re just overwhelmingly together, and it’s a relief.

In the way of a dream – and it might well be a dream, some sort of trick of the dying mind to defy time and cheat death, which would arguably be an afterlife in itself – it’s hard to tell if or how much time is passing, but it seems like at some point something changes.

Viktor wouldn’t be able to accurately describe it if asked, but part of it is that things start to sharpen, become more defined. The formless, flickering shape of Jayce turns into an actual image, still soft-edged and shifting but much closer to a physical form. His expression is wondering and curious, so Viktor must be undergoing the same transformation. They both reach for each other, both say each other’s names, and when they touch it feels denser somehow, more solid. Their voices, too, are clearer and sharper.

“What’s happening?” Jayce asks, or maybe it’s Viktor. It’s hard to tell. Viktor becomes aware of a pulling within him, a growing awareness and alertness, more and more insistent-

I FOUND YOU, he thinks, except he doesn’t. It’s not his thought. It feels like his thought, though, which is very confusing. I CAN GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE AT LIFE. JAYCE, TOO. DO YOU WANT THAT?

Viktor tries to concentrate, because it’s important, probably. Whatever ‘it’ is. Whether it’s his own thought or not, there’s a question being posed. Viktor has always been someone who tries to find answers to questions, hasn’t he? So, if the question is whether he wants another go at living life with Jayce Talis… well, isn’t that what he wanted, before he died, for years on end?

“Yes,” he says out loud, or in a way that feels as intentional as speaking out loud might. He feels a ripple of… something. Then-

“Ah!”

He spasms and jolts against the hard surface he’s lying on, gasping for breath, heart thumping in his ears. His eyes flutter automatically and he squeezes them shut with a small sound, already overwhelmed with sudden sensation and emotion and life; he doesn’t need to add light and vision to the mix.

Carefully, Viktor tries to catalogue and assess what’s going on, but even having a set train of thought to follow feels strange in itself. It’s all so sharp and immediate and urgent compared to where he just was with Jayce…

Jayce. Jayce.

Viktor draws in a quick breath, almost choking on it, and opens his eyes.

It takes a few seconds for his vision to adjust and for him to process what he’s seeing, but the word ceiling comes into his mind with only a little concentration. It’s simple and wooden; the underside of a roof, really. So, he’s in some kind of hut or rudimentary cabin. Viktor takes another fortifying breath and tries moving his body, relieved when his fingers twitch and muscles tense. There’s pain, though, a familiar weary ache down one side of him…but it’s muted, compared to his memories of how he used to be, in those last couple of years when things got really bad. His breathing is surprisingly easy and clear, too.

Slowly, marvelling at the sensation of floorboards under his fingers and clothes against his skin, Viktor rolls to his side and pushes himself to sit up, leaning on one hand. He takes in the fact that he’s definitely in a hut, sparsely furnished, the air a little warm, sunlight coming in through two small windows… but then his vision snags on a shape to his left, and he turns and sees Jayce lying on a bedroll along one wall. He doesn’t even realise he’s moving until he almost falls flat on his face, tripping over the long and ragged cloak he’s wearing. He makes it to Jayce’s side, though, and somewhere in the back of his awareness he notes to himself that he can put weight on both legs as he crawls. His right leg definitely feels odd, but it doesn’t buckle under him or flare up in agony.

He sets this revelation aside, though, as he peers down at Jayce’s unconscious face. It’s Jayce as he was when Viktor last saw his physical form: messy and greasy hair long enough to get in his eyes and scatter around his head, a short but thick beard, tough and partly armoured clothing with the marks of battle on it. There is one new but still horribly familiar detail: the faint, shimmering shape of fingerprints, high on his brow. Viktor swallows down the guilt and fear that floods him as he reaches out and lays two fingers against where a pulse should be-

Viktor exhales with relief when he feels a slow but strong heartbeat under his fingertips. He carefully lays his head on Jayce’s chest to be sure, relaxing further as it rises and falls infinitesimally with his breathing.

“Jayce,” he murmurs, giving his shoulder a squeeze. No response. Viktor swallows, unsure what to do, still trying to process just… being conscious.

He climbs to his feet, able to stand at his full height, steady on both feet, instead of hunched and uneven. He looks around the space. It’s just the sleeping roll on the wooden floor, Jayce’s battered and corrupted hammer propped nearby, a tray with a jug and a parcel of what he hopes is food, a little stove set up in one corner, and a set of shelves with an assortment of items piled up on them. Viktor glances at the door, wondering if he should explore where they actually are, but he’s loath to stray from Jayce’s side until he wakes. He looks back at the shelves; as if by divine providence, his eyes catch on a set of battered old notebooks, bound together with a braided cord.

Information. One can never have too much information about a situation.

Heart hammering, he picks up the bundle and brings it to where Jayce lies unconscious, sitting close beside him. Carefully, he unties the cord. A quick glance through shows there’s one per year. The first one is titled ‘Hextech research records’.

It’s Viktor’s handwriting.

His own spiky scrawl, in his own home language. But… Viktor has never seen these notebooks before. He had a similar research journal, several of them over the years, but…

“A different me,” Viktor whispers, stunned. He doesn’t know what to make of it. It’s all incredibly confusing, and he’s still discombobulated from suddenly having a physical form again. He doesn’t have the mental energy to puzzle it all out. Instead, he simply flips to the first page of entries. He’s unsurprised to see that the majority of them are just a few disjointed lines, littered and surrounded by rough sketches and half-finished equations.

Taking a deep breath, he begins to read.

Finally found someone working on something worthwhile: Jayce Talis. Wants to research together!! Dubious – typical pretty and privileged Piltie, seems naïve – but he’s brilliant and his work is like nothing I’ve seen. ‘Hextech’ – using runes and volatile crystals to harness magic. We got it to work! Medarda is on our side – also dubious – hoping to bring Heimerdinger around.

~

Few days in, so far so good. Stabilisation looking promising although still chasing better consistency in resonance. Absorption?? Need to look into materials options. Jayce thinks it’s more structural – can tell he’s been raised in smithing. Might be right though…

~

Jayce was right. Smug! Coming up on two weeks which is when I was hoping to see results on the pressurised crystal fragment. Fingers crossed no explosions.

~

Heimerdinger definitely more interested than lets on. Council sticking noses in, especially Medarda, although thankfully they leave us to it in the lab. Jayce not as bothered by it. Hope he’s right and they back off.

~

Don’t trust Medarda but have to admit she got us a good deal on new contracts. Her and Jayce a sure thing – best looking couple in Piltover for sure. Funny to watch him stutter and blush around her. Glad I’m immune to her charms – not immune to her money unfortunately – funding is funding! Retrying pressurisation experiment using the following specs…

~

Can’t believe it’s only been a month. Making good progress, can feel we’re close on cracking the rune sequence below. Jayce dragged me out last night for drinks to celebrate signing contracts… surprisingly fun although he’s a lot when drunk. Keep waiting for him to be an asshole in some way but he might be the nicest person I know. Annoying!!

Viktor touches Jayce’s name on the page, bittersweet nostalgia hitting him a punch to the gut. He turns to look down at the real Jayce’s sleeping face. So far, the life of the Viktor who wrote the journals seems essentially identical to his own, including his early doubts about Jayce and how quickly he’d grown fond of his exuberant research partner. He remembers, too, having the same thoughts about Mel Medarda. He remembers a lot, when he lets himself think back to those days, when everything was so new and hopeful and full of promise.

As he stares at Jayce, absorbed in memories, he thinks he sees a slight flicker of his dark lashes. He frowns.

“Jayce?” he whispers. Another flicker. A twitch of his head. A quiet noise. “Jayce!”

The journal hits the floor, forgotten. Viktor kneels over Jayce and squeezes his shoulder, giving a small shake.

“Wha…?” Jayce groans, head rolling towards the touch, and Viktor sags in relief. Jayce blinks and squints, wheezing slightly as he sucks in a quick breath, but then his gaze focuses on Viktor and goes wide.

“It’s you,” he croaks, then screws his face up. “Ah… dry…”

Viktor stares at him blankly before he understands- “Water! You need- hang on-”

He casts about frantically and sees the tray bearing a large covered jug and a cup, sitting neatly just a few feet away from them. That strikes him as vaguely notable, but he’s too busy to care, pouring out some water and gently lifting Jayce’s head to tip it towards his cracked lips.

Jayce drains the cup and then struggles to sit up. Viktor hastens to help him, hands under his elbows. The mottled scarring around the crystal embedded in his wrist is angry-looking. There’s a sour smell to him, as though he’s been wearing the same clothes for days and might have soiled them… but Viktor is distracted by the fact that he’s touching Jayce, alive touching him for real and he can feel it the way he used to, and the emotion rises rapidly in his throat. “Jayce, we… we…”

“Where’s Viktor?” Jayce demands, and everything slams to a halt.

Viktor blinks, pulling back his hands. Jayce is glaring at him, a pained look in his eyes. “What?”

“I mean my Viktor. I was… I was dead, wasn’t I? With him. Did you bring me here?”

“I am Viktor,” he replies, nonplussed. Jayce’s brow furrows further.

“No, my Viktor.”

“I… I am,” is all he can think to say, but even as he speaks he’s running his fingers over his own face, uncertain. It feels familiar, except… facial hair? Viktor has never had much more than patchy stubble. He could barely grow even that for most of his twenties, and then he was just used to shaving regularly so he kept it up. But he’s seen a version of himself with facial hair…

“It’s him,” Viktor murmurs in amazement, looking down at himself, belatedly recognising the tattered white cloak he’s draped in. “It’s the other me you saw in that vison you showed me. I’m in his body…”

Jayce is staring at him in confusion, but Viktor is having an epiphany. He turns to look at the journals he found. The life that belonged to another him.

“Of course,” he breathes, head spinning. “They are his. His life. And he… I…”

He raises his hands and gazes at them, feeling the familiar vertigo of inhabiting a new form. He’s wearing fingerless gloves, and what he thought was grubbiness on his fingers… upon closer inspection, he sees that they’re tattoos. So faded and blurred they’re barely visible, but he can make out lines and runes against his skin. He pulls off the gloves, seeing the faint lines tracing all the way back to his wrists…

His wide sleeves slip back as he examines said wrists. He pauses as he sees the faint mottling on his skin, like faded bruising. Purple and gold.

“Jayce,” he says softly, heart hammering, “what colour are my eyes?”

Jayce stares at him, swallowing before he replies quietly: “Hexcore-coloured. But… you… you are my Viktor? Then how…”

Viktor doesn’t respond; he’s busy standing and shrugging off the cloak that’s half-grey with dirt and wear, yanking the shirt underneath over his head. He goes still, looking down at himself. He’s not a wasted skeleton like he became in his original body, but instead closer to how he was in his early adulthood: skinny, but still with some lean strength, ribs and hipbones only faintly visible rather than sticking out. It’s baffling, because this version of himself seems older than Viktor was when he destroyed the Hexcore, not younger.

These observations pale, though, compared to the dark, gold-laced purple scarring down his sternum, spreading out unevenly across his chest. The skin around the scar seems to fade and disappear, the purple flesh appearing as bare metallic muscle knitted together, shimmering gold veins running through the whole thing and pulsing with his heartbeat.

“God, Viktor,” Jayce breathes, eyes huge. He moves as though to stand up too, but Viktor is sitting back down and tugging off his boots and socks, sucking in a breath as he sees how his right foot is distinctly more mottled than his left, which is almost completely normal-coloured. He tugs up the trousers on the more discoloured leg; the closer he gets to his knee, the darker and more solidly purple his leg gets, the more warped the musculature, the more gold is threaded through. Viktor touches it, and finds it numb.

“It’s like when you fused me with the Hexcore,” Viktor murmurs, “except… localised. Like the Hexcore is only affecting certain parts of me, instead of all of me. But… how? How did he manage to control it like this? And how are we here, wherever here is?”

Jayce suddenly gasps, eyes bright and excited the way they get when he’s figured something out. It’s how Viktor pictures him, usually: radiant with discovery. “The rune! Viktor, the rune on this crystal he gave me – you gave me – it’s an acceleration rune. The same one that makes the Hexgates work!”

He clasps his wrist, where the crystal is buried in his flesh. Viktor frowns. “But… we destroyed it, did we not?”

“We destroyed the Hexcore, using the crystal, but… couldn’t that have activated the magic? Possibly triggered some kind of transportation…?”

“Wait, wait…” Viktor breathes, as his mind sorts memory from dream. He meets Jayce’s eyes, his own widening. “I heard a voice. My voice, I think. Just before I woke up here, I heard it say ‘I found you’, and then… something about giving us another chance. At life.”

Jayce sucks in a breath. “It has to have been him. The other you, the one who gave me the crystal as a child.”

Viktor stares at him, head spinning, before inhaling sharply and shaking his head. “Whatever the explanation… right now, we need to figure out where we are, and you need to wash and check for injuries.”

Jayce hesitates, but then he glances down at himself and wrinkles his nose. He nods, starting to struggle to his feet; Viktor hastens to stand and help. He casts his gaze around the sparse space, looking for something to help with cleanliness-

“A-ha!” He goes to the shelves, grabbing a small basket holding a bar of soap, a sponge, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and a comb. He crosses to the door, taking a steadying breath before cracking it open, unsure what he’ll see outside.

“Oh,” he breathes, pushing the door wide. It’s beautiful; some kind of mountain meadow, rolling downhill towards a lake, long grass dotted with wildflowers. It’s completely deserted. “Well… we definitely have somewhere to bathe properly, but it might be a little cold.”

“Where are we?”

Viktor glances back, seeing Jayce limping slightly but able to walk, knee brace creaking. “I don’t know. Mountains, somewhere. There is no one around.”

He steps aside as Jayce reaches the door. There’s a tall wooden staff leaning next to it; he recalls his other self holding it. It makes sense that he would still use a walking aid. He can put weight on his right leg, walk without limping, but the strain it puts on that side of his body is persistent. He suspects Jayce’s need is greater, though, so Viktor hands him the staff.

Together, slowly, they make their way down the slope.

Chapter Text

Viktor is still shirtless, but although the breeze is cool, the late afternoon sun is warm on his skin. It’s an unfamiliar feeling; he’s never exactly spent a lot of time sunbathing, even since living in Piltover, where they actually got sunlight. The grass under his bare feet feels odd, too. Still… it’s a nice sort of odd. Sensation, in general, is a nice sort of odd.

They reach the shore of the lake, clear water lapping gently at fine gravel and silt. Viktor sets his basket of bathing supplies down, kneeling and leaning over to submerge the sponge in the water.

“You will need to take your clothes off,” Viktor says hesitantly over his shoulder. “I… I can keep my back turned, but I might need to help you wash, so…”

Jayce huffs, his voice dry when he speaks: “Nothing you haven’t seen before, right?”

Viktor glances furtively at him. He’s more than a little taken aback that Jayce is casually referencing their past involvement when it’s been so carefully unspoken between them for… years. Jayce isn’t looking at him, though, head bowed as he shrugs out of his bulky jacket. Viktor squeezes out the sponge and sets to lathering soap into it, listening as Jayce undoes the knee brace. He pauses, glancing back again. “Do you need a hand with that?”

Jayce shakes his head, face mostly obscured by his mop of stringy hair. “I built this brace, I got it.”

“Ah, of course,” Viktor smiles to himself, laying aside the sponge and picking up the teeth-cleaning supplies. “Like you built mine.”

Jayce grunts, finally easing the brace off his leg. He shucks off his clothing as Viktor brushes his teeth. Rinsing and spitting, Viktor drags the back of his hand over his mouth and then turns and hands the teeth-cleaning supplies to Jayce, averting his eyes other than a quick glance. He stands and watches the sunlight on the water as he listens to Jayce thoroughly brush his teeth. He still feels a little like this is all a bizarre dream.

“Thanks… needed that,” Jayce says, making Viktor jump a little. Jayce hands Viktor both brush and paste, then gingerly wades naked into the lake, clutching the staff for support. The scar across his back catches Viktor’s eye immediately, but it’s not the only change. Jayce is leaner than he used to be, albeit still broad and strong. He’s still unfairly beautiful, too.

Viktor is already staring, but the uncertain discomfort with which Jayce moves catches his attention even further. He strips off his remaining clothes, drops what he’s holding back in the basket, grabs the soap-lathered sponge and then goes to Jayce’s side, gently cupping his elbow. They get thigh-deep, steadying each other as their feet slip on pebbles and small plants. The water is very cold. Very cold, as Viktor discovers when his foot slips further and he’s suddenly deeper than expected-

“Kurva!” Viktor swears through gritted teeth, fingers digging into Jayce’s arm as he stumbles back so the water is no longer threatening his groin. “Maybe let’s… stop here for now?”

Jayce snorts at him, shaking his head, and Viktor shoots him a scowl, then pauses. It feels surreal to be so… normal with each other, like they’re back in the lab.

“Is- is your leg flaring up?” he asks, not quite making eye contact. Jayce shrugs in a tired sort of way as he accepts the soapy sponge Viktor hands him, rubbing in circles up and then under his arm.

“It’s still healing. Well, not healing, I don’t think it ever will properly, but… yeah. It’s not the worst it’s been, though.” Jayce begins to soap up his chest and abdomen. “I know you get it, so… um. Viktor.”

Viktor snaps his eyes back up, heat flooding his face at the raised eyebrows Jayce is giving him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Jayce says, but he’s biting back a smile, something in his body language shifting slightly in a way that Viktor recognises from years past. Jayce always did tend to preen a little when he caught Viktor looking.

“Shut up,” Viktor snaps, turning away with fists clenched at his sides. “I- I wasn’t-”

“Yeah, you were,” Jayce snorts. Viktor grinds his teeth, embarrassed and annoyed with himself. He glances back without quite looking, though, as Jayce continues in a softer tone: “Hey, it’s OK. I mean… it’s not like we haven’t… y’know.”

“But we…” Viktor stops and inhales unsteadily. It’s hard to overcome the deeply-ingrained instinct to never, ever talk about this. They’ve been given a second chance at life, though. Together. Things have changed. “I- I ended things.”

Jayce sighs and Viktor hears him resume washing himself. “Yeah, well, I let you. I didn’t fight for you. I didn’t really even ask you why.”

Viktor stares out across the calm lake, aching, his chest a tangle of emotion. “I knew I was getting sicker. You recall my parents both died young, and I watched it happen, so I knew… I knew it was happening to me. Slowly but surely. I couldn’t keep you with me for that… it seemed too cruel.”

Jayce is quiet for a moment; when he replies, his voice is heavy. “I think maybe I suspected that, deep down, and part of why I didn’t fight you on it was that I was scared too. To lose you. But if it was going to happen either way… I’d have rather stayed at your side.”

Viktor half-turns back, meeting his eyes, stricken. “Jayce…”

“It’s true,” he shrugs, eyes downcast, jaw set as he scrubs. “It was true then and it’s been true ever since. I really tried to be ready to live without you, but you know what happened when it came down to it. When that explosion went off, I did the one thing I knew you didn’t want, because I couldn’t fucking lose you, and-”

The sponge goes still, Jayce dragging in a harsh breath before meeting Viktor’s eyes, his own shining with tears. “I’d do it again, that’s the worst part. What kind of person… I promised you, and then I broke that promise, and I’d do it again if I knew we’d get to stay together. How selfish is that?”

Viktor’s mouth is slightly open, but he can think of nothing to say. Jayce is right. It is selfish, how he’s disregarded Viktor’s wishes and admits that he doesn’t even regret it, but Viktor finds that he understands all too well.

“I brought us here,” he says finally, quietly. “He asked, and I said yes, because I- I want more time with you. We were at peace, I think. It should have ended there. But… I was selfish, too. And when I pushed you away when I knew I was dying, that was… I told myself I was being kind. I wasn’t. I was being a coward.”

Jayce gazes at him, eyes haunted. “I don’t even know if things would have turned out different, if we’d stayed together. Maybe all this would have happened no matter what.”

“All this,” Viktor echoes bitterly, throat aching. “You mean me going insane and using the Hexcore to warp and destroy and control people? And you… I don’t even know what happened to you, really, but you obviously suffered-”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Jayce cuts in harshly, his shoulders tensing. Viktor snaps his mouth shut, and Jayce’s expression gentles. “Not… not yet.”

Viktor nods slowly, then drops his gaze to the water. “Regardless. You should- you should hate me.”

“Yeah, well… I don’t. I really, really don’t.”

They stare at one another for several long seconds. Viktor draws in a shaky breath before speaking again, voice hushed: “After we… well, after we destroyed the Hexcore. I thought we died. I thought we were in… whatever comes after.”

Jayce looks back down at himself, resuming his washing, half-covered in soap suds that run down his skin and swirl lazily into the lake. “So did I. Never believed in heaven, but…”

“Exactly,” Viktor breathes. “But, Jayce… it is a lot to take in. That you stayed with me, sacrificed yourself with me, and then… it was so…”

“Intimate,” Jayce murmurs, and Viktor can just glimpse the vague, almost dream-like smile on his downturned face. “Felt like those slow mornings with you, when we’d be all tangled up and half-asleep and… yeah. It felt like that.”

Viktor wraps his arms around himself, throat constricting, faint with wonder. “I didn’t know you remembered that.”

Jayce sighs, seeming tired and sad. “I remember all of it. Everything. I think about it all the time. Hell, I never really stop. Missing you, that is.”

Viktor closes his eyes, trembling, but not from cold. He isn’t sure what to do or say, so after composing himself he opens his eyes and wades carefully closer. Jayce glances up at him, vulnerable and wary, so Viktor gives him a gentle smile as he holds his hand out for the sponge.

“I’ll get the soap so you can wash your hair,” is all he says. Jayce’s shoulders relax slightly. He nods, handing over the sponge.

Jayce seems in no immediate danger of drowning, so Viktor pulls his trousers back on, wanting a little time to process after so much happening in such a short span. Deciding to have a brief look around, he walks back to the hut and then a little way further up the slope, to where it crests. They’re on what looks to be part of the foothills of the snow-capped mountains looming over them. It’s not cold, though; there’s the slow and lazy feel of summer in the air.

Viktor isn’t entirely surprised to see the familiar skyline of Piltover in the distance, down several more hills and valleys, crouched on the coast and silhouetted against the wide ocean. He nods slowly to himself in thought, eyes fixed on one particular part of that skyline. The Hexgate. It all looks… normal. No corruption.

“These are the mountains near home,” Viktor calls as he makes his way back down to the lake, carefully picking over the grassy, uneven ground, gritting his teeth against the growing aches and stiffness from walking unaided. “Piltover and Zaun are back that way.”

Jayce turns back to look at him where he stands waist-deep in the lake. His hair is wet and scraped back from his face, beard beaded with water droplets, skin burnished bronze in the sun. The fingerprints on his brow are iridescent, shimmering like butterfly wings. Viktor tries not to stare as he reaches the lake’s shore.

“Huh,” Jayce frowns. “But is it…”

“It looks undamaged,” Viktor supplies, knowing that Jayce is wondering if it’s their Piltover and Zaun, or another version entirely. “Including the Hexgate.”

“The Hexgate…” Jayce begins to wade out of the lake, lost in thought. Viktor splashes to help him navigate the shallows, receiving a soft smile that he hoards away like a gift. He goes to hand Jayce his clothes but then recalls the state of them; he pauses, glancing at the other man.

“Your clothes could do with washing, too,” Viktor points out. “We can leave them here for now and I can clean them in the lake later? I can put the basket on top of them, to weigh them down…”

“Fine, that’s fine,” Jayce mutters, clearly still thinking, although there’s a weary cast to his features. He’s tired, despite only having woken up an hour or so beforehand. He’s almost certainly hurting, too, both from injury and from all the moving around. Viktor feels a flash of intense guilt for dragging him back to the physical plane to suffer, but he knows for himself that pain and disability don’t make a life unworthwhile. He hopes, as he grabs the leg brace and they walk slowly up the hill together, that Jayce is happy to be alive, even if he’s limping his way through it.

“I was actually thinking, in the lake… I do recognise these mountains,” Jayce says as they make their way through the long grass and flowers. Viktor shoots him a questioning sideways glance. “I think this is near where my Mom and I got caught in that snowstorm. Where he… you… saved me and gave me the rune crystal.”

Viktor falters, but continues helping Jayce up the hill. “You only just recognised it?”

“I, uh… I’ve been distracted, to be honest. Wasn’t looking at the scenery.”

Viktor blinks, then bites back a surprised smile. He doesn’t meet Jayce’s eyes, merely makes a vague considering sound.

“Lie down,” Viktor instructs softly when they enter the hut. Jayce heads over to the bedroll while Viktor has a closer look at the items on the shelves. He spots some folded clothes in a basket under the shelving, loose and simple trousers and shirts and tunics, but a glance back at Jayce shows that he’s already curled up on the bedroll with the cover pulled over him. Viktor doesn’t wish to move him again if he needs rest. He pulls on a thin and billowy shirt, then pauses as his stomach growls. He frowns down at it, then at Jayce, who’s rubbing tiredly between his eyes. “Oh. We need food.”

“God, that would be so great,” Jayce groans. Viktor heads over to the water tray and picks up the cloth-wrapped package, relieved to discover some kind of thick, crumbly biscuit inside along with some dried fruits. He sits by Jayce, handing him morsels and nibbling some himself. He didn’t eat when he was fused with the Hexcore. It’s strange to consume food again.

“Slowly,” he cautions, watching Jayce tear a strip off a large piece of dried fruit with his teeth. He smiles slightly, recalling. “You were always the one telling me I eat too fast.”

Jayce swallows his mouthful and rolls closer, wedging an arm under his head as he picks up a piece of biscuit. His eyes crinkle up at Viktor. “Well, you did. Every time.”

“Food insecurity will do that,” Viktor shrugs, and Jayce nods; they’ve had this conversation. Jayce knows all the sad details of Viktor’s childhood. He knows the happy ones, too. He knows Viktor, better than anyone else. It used to feel like too much, sometimes, but now it just feels like home to be around him again.

Jayce starts yawning and Viktor wraps up the remains of the food. He drinks some water, makes Jayce sip some too, tugs the cover over Jayce’s shoulder. Hesitantly, he brushes Jayce’s still-damp hair off his brow; Jayce reaches up and captures his hand, giving him a beseeching look that Viktor is completely powerless against.

“Stay close?” he whispers. Viktor swallows, nods, and with some wordless nudging and maneuvering he ends up sitting at the top of the bedroll with his back against the wall and legs stretched out before him, Jayce’s head resting against his thigh. He combs lightly through Jayce’s hair, a little disbelieving still that this is – as far as he can tell –real.

It takes barely a minute for Jayce to pass out, breathing slowing and face going slack. Viktor watches him for a little while, trying to settle into all that he feels, trying to get used to it.

His eyes fall on the neat pile of journals.

It’s irresistible. He picks up the top one and opens it where he was up to, settling in and absorbing himself in a life he almost, but not quite, lived. He recalls some events and doesn’t recognise others, but overall it’s familiar. It’s only a few months’ worth of entries until the end of that year’s journal. The final entry is a brief description of Viktor planning to ring in the new year by himself at the lab, having declined Jayce’s offer to join him at a party. He opens the second notebook, smiling to see the first entry reporting that Jayce ended up joining him at the lab for new year’s with a bottle of truly revolting liquor. They finished the whole bottle. Viktor doesn’t recall that happening for him, but he can picture it well.

He's achingly nostalgic as he reaches the six-month mark not too far into the second journal, which was where the Hextech research really began to take off with their harnessing of the acceleration rune.

WE DID IT!!! Still trying to process. Will take time to properly understand, test, refine etc but we have the right rune and we know how to make it work. Possibilities endless! Jayce got so excited, unfortunately very adorable. Picked me up and spun me. Thought he was going to kiss me for a second. Very stupidly almost kissed him instead. Perils of having your research partner be 1) your best friend (your only friend) and 2) fucking gorgeous. Working on NOT having a crush like an idiot schoolboy. Hoping for similar success to acceleration rune.

~

Council have increased salary. Can afford a better place. Jayce wants to move in together. Might be a bad idea. Really want to… which is why it’s a bad idea.

~

Acceleration research going well! Working on concepts for applying it in cargo transport. Insane to think how much this will change the world. Less promising news: agreed to flatshare with Jayce. Kicking myself but very hard to say no. So much for being a genius.

~

New place is closer to lab so that’s a plus. Already had to cope with Jayce in a towel after shower. He made us dinner last night. Good cook. This is bad bad bad

~

Really getting somewhere with designs for what we’re calling Hexgates. Distinguished Innovator’s competition coming up so will be presenting Hexgate design and maybe a scale model if we can get one made in time. Jayce is excited but can’t say I care much for these Piltie parties. Having to get a suit made for it… not used to having spare money for that sort of thing.

~

Ran into some snags with Hexgate design, working late every night trying to get it sorted before competition next week. Jayce going insane getting his scale model built; not content with a normal one, wants to make it move. Show-off. Back has been killing me. Jayce keeps offering shoulder rubs - have the sense to say no to that at least.

~

We won!!! Was actually amazing once I got over nerves (throwing up in the bushes outside not my proudest moment). Jayce in fine form all evening. Looked incredible in his suit but I didn’t stare too much (I hope). Medarda also there and also stunning – they danced together. Can’t tell if something already going on or if they’re still getting there. Trying to be fine with it. He danced with me too. Trying not to think about that too much. Might have been the best night of my life.

“What’re you smiling about?”

Viktor jumps a little, moving the journal aside to peer down at Jayce, who gazes up at him bleary-eyed, clearly only half-awake. Touching his shoulder, Viktor hushes him, still smiling.

“Memories,” he replies quietly. “I will tell you more when you’ve had more sleep.”

“Hmm,” sighs Jayce, then grimaces as he turns his neck. “Might have to move, sorry.”

Viktor nods, shifting and helping Jayce settle his head on his arm once more. He startles himself with a sudden yawn; Jayce gives him a sleepy yet effective raised eyebrow.

“How ‘bout you get some sleep?”

“Oh, but…” Viktor glances at the journal in his hand. He’s curious, but he can feel that he’s liable to start nodding off sitting up if he tries to keep reading. Jayce lifts the edge of the blanket with a hopeful expression, and Viktor catches his breath at the sudden gut-punch of longing. Falling asleep next to Jayce. It’s been so, so long.

He’s moving before he even consciously decides to do so, laying the journal aside and sliding under the blanket. He’s wide-eyed and a little overwhelmed as he settles his head down on one folded arm, wrapping the other around himself to keep his hands occupied. They’re still close enough to have their knees nudging. Their faces are inches apart, Jayce’s eyes low-lidded. He’s so beautiful. It’s so warm.

“You know your eyes change?” Jayce murmurs. Viktor blinks, raising his brows in question. “They shift colours sometimes. It’s pretty.”

Viktor feels a smile tugging at his lips at the compliment, but he only nods slowly. “They were like that before, too. What colour are they most of the time?”

“Sort of silver?” Jayce reaches up and touches the pads of his fingers beneath Viktor’s eye, looking fascinated; Viktor’s breath catches at the light touch. “But now…”

“What colour are they now?” Viktor whispers, although he thinks he probably already knows.

“They’re… like they used to be,” Jayce smiles, gaze soft. He withdraws his hand but Viktor can still feel the imprint of his touch, as surely as he can feel his own sped-up heartbeat. He swallows. There are a great many things he wants to say, but it’s such a gentle, quiet moment. He doesn’t want to ruin anything.

“Were those his journals you were reading?” Jayce asks softly after a few seconds. “The other you?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Was he much like you, d’you think?”

Viktor thinks of what he’s read so far, the excitement about Hextech, the frustration with the Council… the helpless yearning for Jayce Talis. He smiles, eyes closing, breathing in the faint but familiar smell of Jayce’s skin.

“Yes,” he whispers. “He was a lot like me.”

Chapter Text

When Viktor wakes, he’s too warm, and he knows immediately it’s because Jayce has wrapped around him like a limpet. Again.

“Jayce,” Viktor mumbles, wriggling against the heavy arms around him, tacky with sweat. “Jayce-”

He stops. No. It can’t be, because it’s been years since he got to wake up in the same bed as Jayce. He gave all that up. He sleeps alone now, when he’s not woken up by a hacking cough-

No, that’s no longer true either. He was… repaired. And since then, he doesn’t sleep at all, does he? It’s hard to tell. Maybe his body sleeps when he goes wandering through the stars with Sky. Or, more accurately, with his guilt, dressed up by the Hexcore and his own fractured mind as Sky-

No, that’s all over too. He evolved, or at least he called it that, and then there was a fight, that white-haired boy with the strange device, and then- then-

“Jayce,” Viktor says again, louder this time, sharp with shock. He feels Jayce stir, the arms around him tightening, the head on his shoulder shifting. A low, sleepy noise against his neck. Viktor swallows and touches his waist, briefly, before continuing in a softer voice, speaking into warm hair. “I’m too hot. Could you move, please?”

Jayce makes another sound, more of a grumble this time, but he loosens his grip on Viktor and then rolls inelegantly onto his back, flinging an arm above his head, the blanket tangled around him. He looks younger in sleep, despite the beard. Viktor lies there, staring. He stares for… longer than is probably normal to just sit and watch someone sleep.

Eventually, he crawls over to the discarded journals. It’s night, moonlight glowing through the windows, but there’s a candle and matches on the windowsill. Once he has light to read by, he settles back against the wall, tucking his long hair behind one ear as he opens back to the page he was up to. He resumes reading; it’s another few months of updates on the Hexgate project, of snide comments about Mel Medarda and frustrated ranting about the council, and of truly pathetic pining for Jayce.

He laughs a little, tears up a few times, covers his eyes in embarrassment more than once, smiles fondly when he recalls various exciting moments in the lab. It feels strangely therapeutic, like he’s reminding himself who he is. How to be himself again, after everything.

As he reads further and further, he begins to anticipate what he knows must be coming. He remembers vividly the night that he and Jayce got together: the one-year anniversary of their Hextech research partnership. Jayce decorated the lab with a banner and paper chains. They toasted with some fancy sparkling wine. There was a record playing and Jayce convinced Viktor to dance with him, like they’d danced together at the Innovator’s competition. Jayce gazed at him like he was his favourite person alive, eyes huge and shimmering, cheeks pink, and Viktor was just reaching peak saturation of breathless longing when Jayce leaned in and kissed him. They stayed at the lab that night, and they were lucky no one walked in.

To his surprise, though, what he finds in the journal is quite different.

Will be a whole year next week! Incredible how much life has changed. I wish ten-year-old me could see this. The Hexgate construction is going well so far. Excited to be looking ahead to other projects. Must go as Jayce and I are having dinner with Ximena to celebrate. Hope she makes that rice dish again.

~

No idea how to write this. Feels like I made it up. Ximena pulled me aside after dinner and told me the most insane thing possible: she thinks Jayce is in love with me. IN love with me. Like in love in love. I mean I say ‘she thinks’ but according to her he SAID it. What the fuck is happening. What do I do?? Ximena wants me to ‘talk to him’. Very clear she knows I feel the same.

~

Talked to him. Did more than talk!!!!!!!!!! I think we’re a couple? What the fuck? Still feels like this has to be a bad idea, surely? But he seems so happy and I keep reminding myself that he already told his mother, so he must have thought this through. Very hard to process but I think I finally get all the stupid love songs. Embarrassing, but no one except me is ever going to read this, thank god. Need to get Ximena flowers!!!

“Ximena,” Viktor breathes, taken aback. He’s always gotten on well with Jayce’s mother, but he never had any sort of conversation with her about Jayce’s feelings for him. As far as he knows, she never even found out about their relationship, although he’d be surprised if she never suspected. Despite being together for over two years, Viktor and Jayce kept it secret. Viktor didn’t want to complicate things, didn’t want the research compromised, wanted to keep it all separate and controlled. Perhaps, deep down, he already feared that he was destined for an early death.

Aching a little at the thought of having Ximena’s blessing from the start, Viktor keeps reading to the end of the second journal and starts on the third one, charmed and wistful as his own handwriting describes a life both similar and different from his own. The research side of things played out much the same, but things with Jayce did not. There were dates, actual ones out in public, and dinners as a couple with Ximena. They told Caitlyn, too. They told everyone, eventually, even in their professional lives.

Jayce says he wants things to be out in the open at work, so we’re calling a meeting with Heimerdinger and Medarda to let them know about us. I guess six months seems officially long-term enough. Six months!! Still seems bizarre sometimes. Haven’t said this to Jayce but I am looking forward to seeing Medarda’s face. Would not blame her for thinking it’s a prank. Even funnier since he finally admitted he ‘used to’ have a crush on her (he definitely still has a crush on her). Almost feel sorry for her! Almost.

~

Well, it’s done! Was very awkward and Heimerdinger made it more so by getting weird and emotional. Swear he thinks he’s our dad sometimes. Medarda’s jaw hit the floor but she was actually very professional and pleasant about it. Jayce keeps telling me I should give her more of a chance. Wish he wasn’t right all the time, it’s insufferable, but I suppose he makes up for it…

~

Hexgate construction nothing but a headache; just want to work on something else for once. All other projects currently on hold. Jayce is frustrated and seems very down. Learning that he responds better to physical affection than talking about things, but if I don’t make him talk about things he gets worse. Ximena says he has a history of getting like this. Hard to watch but he says I’m helping. Hope so.

~

Bit of an insane idea but have talked to Ximena some more about Jayce and apparently he had a childhood dog. Thinking we could adopt?? He’s still struggling. Can imagine a dog cheering him up and he’d have to walk it which would get him out more. Would be great if my leg would stop flaring up. Had to stay home from the lab the last two days. Really need to get a brace.

~

Had a big talk with Jayce. Confronted him about how lately during sex he’s been a bit intense, pushing me to be rougher etc. Asked him if he’s trying to punish himself and he just completely broke down. Says he gets anxious when things don’t go right – Hexgate construction delays, other projects stagnating – and it feels like it’s all his fault. Admitted he’s hurt himself in the past when he’s been like this. I keep thinking back to when I first met him and he was standing on that edge. Trying to stay calm. Discussed it and will trial being rougher with him when he wants, but with rules and a safety signal and cuddling after. He promised to talk to me more. Also agreed to go look at dogs tomorrow.

The air in the hut seems suddenly a little thin; Viktor feels nauseous. He remembers that. He remembers the Hexgate construction issues, the frustrating few months when it felt like their research ground to a halt… he remembers Jayce seeming distant, talking less, initiating sex only to end up on his knees with red-rimmed, tear-filled eyes.

He remembers that they drifted apart, not grew closer. They didn’t talk about it. They didn’t come up with safety signals or rules. They certainly didn’t get a dog. Because their relationship, while close and affectionate, wasn’t the solid partnership described in the journal entries. It was nebulous, liminal… they hadn’t even said they loved each other out loud, after six months. Viktor wasn’t equipped, didn’t know Jayce had these depressive episodes, didn’t understand what the rough sex thing was about. He just… went along with it, because he didn’t trust himself to be of any help. That was when Jayce started taking on more publicity engagement, Viktor recalls, and drinking and partying more. To keep busy, was what he said at the time. To distract himself.

“Oh, my love,” Viktor whispers, looking down at Jayce’s sleeping face, chest twisting painfully and eyes stinging. Regret and guilt are sour in the back of his throat. “I let you down.”

He suddenly doesn’t want to read any more, unable to face a version of his life where he was a better partner, a better person. He puts the journal down and crawls to Jayce’s side, settling down facing him once more, shuffling until he’s close enough to rest his forehead against Jayce’s shoulder. There he stays, hunched in on himself, until sleep finally pulls him under.

It feels like only seconds later that he’s being jostled, his name murmured close by his ear.

“Viktor.”

He stirs, head thick and foggy, making an indistinct sound.

“Viktor, I’ve really got to get up…”

With a groan, Viktor shifts and gets an arm under him, trying to prop himself up-

“Ow!” comes a yelp, and Viktor finds himself being swiftly but gently pushed sideways, strong arms keeping him from rolling far. He blinks, disoriented, to see Jayce scowling down at him and rubbing his chest. “I see you’re still all bony elbows in the mornings.”

“Oh,” is all Viktor can say, staring, blinking slowly, fragments of memory piecing together in his mind. Jayce smiles, annoyance melting away with characteristic ease, and brushes Viktor’s hair back from his cheek, touch lingering a moment before he moves away. He clambers to his feet, blanket wrapped around him. Viktor sits up, watching him move towards the door, trying to keep up mentally.

“Where are you going?” he manages. Jayce glances back as he pushes the door open and grabs the wooden staff to lean on, early morning sunlight framing him in an otherworldly glow. His hair is a messy halo, the blanket slipping off one shoulder. He is the loveliest sight Viktor has ever seen-

“Gotta piss,” he says cheerfully, and Viktor blinks, then laughs, shaking his head. “Also, we forgot to wash our clothes.”

“Oh!” Viktor exclaims, scrambling to his feet. “I can do that.”

“OK,” Jayce shrugs. “I’ll meet you down at the lake.”

He leaves, and Viktor stands there for a moment, still waking up, readjusting. He glances around, eyes landing on the journal from the night before. He swallows, then turns away and walks out into the cool morning air.

The lake is stunning, a blue mirror reflecting the mountains around it, as it was the previous day. Seized by a sudden desire to submerge himself in that crystalline water, he strips off and wades in. He’s swearing and flinching at the icy chill, especially with the sun barely risen, but there’s something exhilarating about it. He washes and then just stands waist-deep for a while, finger-combing his dripping hair back, rubbing curiously at his short beard. It feels more noticeable wet. He turns back to shore, pausing to see Jayce sitting there, blanket still around him, brushing his teeth.

“Hello,” Viktor says, wading closer, trying not to feel self-conscious as he leaves the cover of the water. They’ve seen each other naked countless times, including the previous day. He’s very aware, though, of the way Jayce’s eyes trail down and then back up before he takes the toothbrush out of his mouth and speaks.

“You know you have more Hexcore scarring on your back? Down your spine. But… no bolts.”

Viktor blinks, pausing and reaching around to run his knuckles down his spine. Jayce is right. There are no evenly spaced, flat lumps of metal that Viktor’s used to feeling on his back. The skin is oddly textured, cool and numb, like the scarring on his chest and right knee. Viktor frowns. He had that back surgery over a year before Jayce fused him with the Hexcore.

“Interesting,” he murmurs. “It seems like this Viktor augmented himself with the Hexcore before he got to the point of needing spinal correction.”

“You hated having that surgery,” Jayce says quietly, eyes unfocused as he recalls. There’s sadness in the shape of his mouth, the pull of his brows. “You were scared going into it. I wanted so much to move back in and help you, after, but…”

Viktor remembers. Jayce practically begged. Viktor asked Sky to assist him instead. It was difficult to ask for help at all – especially with so few people in his life to choose from – but the surgeon was very firm that he needed complete bed rest for a week after the procedure. Viktor remembers lying in bed, exhausted, high on pain medication, uncomfortable having Sky at his beck and call no matter how kind and sweet she was about it. He remembers wishing, miserable and heartsick, that he’d said yes to Jayce.

“It seemed like a bad idea at the time,” Viktor mutters, leaning down to gather up Jayce’s clothes, which are thankfully exactly where he left them the evening before. He grabs the soap too and then kneels in the shallow water. Unsurprisingly, Jayce comes to sit beside him, and he really needs to get used to seeing Jayce with sunlight on his bare skin, because it’s humiliating how bad he is at keeping his eyes averted.

“Can I help?”

“Um,” Viktor mumbles, “yeah. Yes.”

Jayce, very charitably, doesn’t comment on Viktor’s distracted response. He takes one of the pieces of clothing and the soap, and Viktor should look away, but the play of muscles under Jayce’s warm brown skin as he scrubs is… well. It’s a good thing the lake water is so cold.

“So,” Jayce says quietly once Viktor is finally re-focused on his task, “tell me what you’ve found out from the journals. You said he was a lot like you?”

“He was,” Viktor nods. There’s a pause.

“Was… was there a me, too?”

Viktor smiles a little sadly. “I would feel very sorry for him if there wasn’t. But yes. Mostly the same history: we met, you asked me to work on Hextech with you, we signed research contracts, we built the Hexgates. We…”

He pauses, but then reminds himself that there is no more pretense between them. There never has to be again. "We fell in love.”

He doesn’t look at Jayce, even when the silence stretches on. Jayce’s voice is small when he speaks again: “Did they also… end things?”

“I- I don’t know yet. Where I’m up to, we are stuck in the middle of all that tiresome hovadinách with the Council and the Hexgate construction. Remember that?”

“Oh, that? Yeah, I remember. It dragged on for months.”

Viktor hums in agreement, eyes on his work. He wonders if he ought to bring up what he learned from the journal about Jayce, about how bad things were for him back then, about how Viktor failed him as a partner. As a lover. As a friend. He opens his mouth-

“It did work, right? Us destroying the Hexcore.”

Viktor looks up in surprise. Jayce is frowning down at his wrist, scarred and glinting blue. “What? Oh. Yes, I- I think so. I suppose we have no way of knowing…”

“I don’t know why, I just… didn’t really think about it last night. But now I keep thinking… we’re here, in what I suspect might be a whole other reality. What about home? I mean… did we save everyone? Did we save anyone? Caitlyn, Mel, my Mom-”

Jayce’s voice breaks. His hair falls into his face; Viktor hesitates, then gently reaches up and smooths it back, cupping Jayce’s cheek. He doesn’t know what to say. He’s painfully aware that when Jayce talks about saving his loved ones, he means saving them from Viktor. What can he possibly say?

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, feeling helpless, feeling like a monster. Jayce meets his eyes, tears pooled in his own, and abruptly pulls Viktor into a hug. Viktor, unprepared, holds him for several still seconds, staring over his shoulder and trying not to remember all the things he did. Jayce’s skin is warm from the sun; Viktor hesitantly strokes his hair. His lower half is all but numb from the cold water. It feels like the Hexcore used to.

They pull apart without speaking or looking at each other and finish washing the clothes. Viktor brushes his teeth while Jayce spreads the wet garments out on the grass, weighing them down with pebbles. Returning the brush and paste, Viktor goes to put his clothes back on, but stops as Jayce speaks.

“Viktor, I was… I was hoping you might… help. With washing my hair again?”

Viktor turns. Jayce is standing a little awkwardly by the water, soap in hand, still naked and damp. “Your hair? I thought you washed it yesterday?”

“It was difficult, one-handed. Didn’t do a very good job. So I was hoping… you…”

There’s an odd nervousness in Jayce’s voice. Viktor peers at him, puzzled by the flush on his cheeks and the way he almost looks to be holding his breath, clutching at the soap. Viktor blinks, sudden comprehension hitting him. Jayce… wants Viktor to touch him. The things he’s been saying, after all, about missing him, about the intimacy they used to share, about regret… and Jayce has always responded, more than anything else, to physical affection. Even Viktor’s other self noted that, in his journal.

“Oh,” Viktor breathes, and he finds that he has no idea how to respond.

Chapter Text

Viktor’s gut reflex is to think that letting himself want Jayce Talis is a bad idea.

It’s deeply ingrained habit, put there by years of grim determination. He’s not supposed to touch Jayce too much. He’s not allowed. He’s committed to putting distance between them, to protect them both. It’s been that way for so long. Accepting his own impending death, and what he gave up trying to make it easier on them both. Believing – hoping – that Jayce no longer felt the way he used to about him. Watching him grow closer with Mel Medarda and trying to be happy for them.

Then, after he fused with the Hexcore… it took time to reconnect with that part of himself, but once Viktor remembered what it was to love Jayce, he became fixated. Beneath his grand delusions, he dreamed simply of having Jayce by his side, partners again in every sense of the word. When Jayce rejected him – violently – Viktor had to grieve that loss all over again.

But then Jayce, completely unexpectedly, burst in on him and declared what seemed to be forgiveness. Affection. Devotion, to the point where he refused to leave even to save himself, where he would rather die together than be apart. It was madness. It was horrifying. It was everything Viktor wanted, which he knew made him even more fucked up than he’d realised.

And then… unity, at last. Floating together in the void. Wrapped around and within each other, as though their souls were entwined. It felt so right.

And now, Jayce is bare and vulnerable and beautiful in the sunlight and asking Viktor to touch him. To help him. To care for him, which used to be normal for them, a long time ago. So much has changed since then, then changed again, and then again. It’s confusing. It’s hard to internalise that despite everything… this might be… alright?

Viktor stares at him, and nods slowly, heart thumping.

“Come on,” he says quietly, holding out his hand. Jayce looks down at it and then clasps it firmly, limping a little as he follows Viktor into the water. When it’s deep enough, Viktor kneels. He softly instructs Jayce to sit before him, facing out across the lake, and duck his head under briefly. He rubs the soap generously onto his hands and then silently holds it out for Jayce to take while he works.

Carefully, slowly, Viktor slides his fingers into thick, wet hair, starting from the nape of Jayce’s neck and rubbing upwards in firm circles. He hears Jayce’s breath hitch, watches a ripple pass through his back and shoulders. Viktor is mesmerised, breathing shallow, skin warm from more than the sun. He gets near the top of his head and needs more soap; Jayce passes it back wordlessly when Viktor touches his arm. It’s strange, both tense and comfortable. Viktor is filled with breathless awareness, yet also soft with nostalgia for what the two of them have shared over the years.

As Viktor kneels up and massages his hairline, Jayce gives something like a sigh and his head tips backwards so far that the crown of it lands against Viktor’s chest. Viktor stares at his upside-down face, fingers threaded through his hair, struck by the feeling of holding something precious and not wanting to make any sudden movements. Jayce’s eyes are closed, dark lashes spangled with water droplets. As Viktor’s hands still, though, those eyes open and focus on him, familiar clear gold turned almost green in the bright daylight.

“Hi,” Jayce breathes, smiling, and Viktor smiles back helplessly. His thumbs stroke at Jayce’s temples, hesitant.

His gaze catches on the fingerprints he left on Jayce, permanent bruises that will never fade, and his smile falters. He wonders if Jayce even knows he has those marks. He’s hit with a memory, vivid despite being warped and charged with the delirious energy that fuelled him when he was fused with the Hexcore. During a fight, forcing Jayce’s head back, murmuring down at him as he struggled and snarled-

Viktor’s hands spasm slightly, his breath stuttering, irrational terror flashing through him that he might hurt the man held between his hands. He can’t understand why Jayce isn’t scared of him. Doesn’t despise him.

“What is it?” Jayce asks, quiet, watchful. Viktor swallows and brushes trembling fingertips over his cheek. He shakes his head, rejecting the disturbing memory.

“Nothing. Lie down,” Viktor whispers, entranced by how Jayce doesn’t even hesitate, just shifts and lets himself sink back into the water, head still cradled in Viktor’s hands. He floats, eyes fluttering shut, unaccountably trusting. Viktor is careful to keep his face above the surface, supporting his head with one hand and combing through his hair with the other. It’s silky in the water, a pleasure to touch, and Viktor feels… lulled. His eyes wander, tracing the generous lines of Jayce’s body splayed out, gleaming, vulnerable.

Slowly, ready to stop or pull back, Viktor lets his hand slide from Jayce’s hair down to lightly stroke his bearded jaw. Jayce tenses slightly, but he keeps his eyes closed. Heart rate picking up, Viktor trails his fingertips down Jayce’s neck, sending small ripples across the lake surface. Jayce swallows, throat bobbing under the feathery touch. Viktor is hypnotised. He traces a collarbone, out and then back in, then pauses before fanning his fingers out across Jayce’s chest, nails ever so slightly digging into the firm muscle there-

Jayce opens his eyes. They’re blazing, alight with the same feeling that pulses in Viktor’s chest, in time with his sped-up heartbeat. Viktor’s mouth opens slightly, but he can think of nothing to say. Instead, he once more cups Jayce’s jaw, this time touching a thumb to his lower lip. He goes still, and he and Jayce stare at each other.

Then, as though it was what he intended all along, Viktor leans down and presses a soft kiss to Jayce’s upside-down mouth.

Jayce exhales all at once and tips his chin up, a hand landing on the back of Viktor’s head, tugging him closer and keeping him there for several seconds. When his grip loosens, Viktor pulls back enough to meet his gaze once more. They pause, both breathing quicker than before, and then Jayce is moving and turning, a little ungainly, splashing- Viktor catches him, skin sliding as he twists and slips in the water- Jayce’s eyes are wild, his mouth open- they meet, hands on faces and in hair, the kiss frantic.

“Jayce,” Viktor pants, fervent. It’s not even lust that’s driving him, not really. It’s… relief. They’re together, and they both still want that. Somehow, they didn’t lose each other.

Jayce kisses him like he’s air, like he was drowning before their lips touched, like he wants to breathe him. His fingers are tangled in Viktor’s hair, his mouth firm and somehow both slow and fast at the same time. He keeps dragging in little tearful-sounding gasps as he leans into him, and then he’s crying into the kiss; he breaks away and buries his face in Viktor’s neck, collapsing on his lap, clinging to him like a child. Viktor is overwhelmed, breathing hard, blinking wide-eyed as he gathers Jayce to him.

“Hey, hey…” he soothes, unsure what else to say. Jayce is shaking, his face wet against Viktor’s skin. He’s mumbling something, voice thick and muffled. Viktor ducks his head, trying to hear.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry…”

“Oh, Jayce…” Viktor swallows roughly, holding him tighter, tears running down his own face. “No, my love, don’t be sorry. Please don’t.”

He rocks Jayce, pressing his mouth to damp, soap-scented hair. The man is heavy, slumped against his chest and lap with arms wrapped around his waist; Viktor’s back and hips are aching fiercely, but he gives Jayce a few more moments before he gently pushes him upright enough to meet his eyes.

“Are you… are you alright?” he asks softly, unable to think of anything more profound or appropriate. Jayce stares at him, expression cracked open as he reaches up and cups Viktor’s cheek, thumb stroking. He inhales slowly and then nods.

“Yeah. Yeah, I… I think it all just hit me a bit. I’m s-”

“No,” interrupts Viktor sternly, placing his fingertips over Jayce’s lips. He gets an owlish blink and then a smile as Jayce pulls his hand away from his mouth, interlacing their fingers.

“Fine, I’m not sorry,” Jayce laughs, eyes warm. He hesitates, smile turning to a grimace. “I do wish I’d kept it together a bit better just now, though. Wanted to kiss you so much and then just… ugh. I, uh... I promise it won’t be like that every time.”

Viktor’s heart picks up. “E-every time?”

A hopeful look from under dark lashes, and for fuck’s sake, Viktor is only human. Mostly.

This time it’s slower, Viktor’s lips parting at the calloused hands sliding onto his waist where the water laps at his skin, letting out a low sound as he’s kissed back with careful but eager purpose. He’s breathing heavily when they break apart and rest their foreheads together, dizzy, skin buzzing. He forgot how it felt.

“Hope that made up for it,” Jayce murmurs, nudging their noses, and Viktor gives a breathless laugh.

He’s still smiling as he pulls his clothes on, helps Jayce up the hill back to the hut, and even when they part ways so Viktor can carry out the undignified task of going to the toilet in some bushes nearby. When he joins Jayce inside, the other man is dressed in similar loose and plain clothing to Viktor, examining the various tools and small items on the shelves. He speaks back over his shoulder.

“Could you read me some of the journals?”

Viktor pauses. “I… are you sure?”

Jayce turns, raising his eyebrows. “Well, we’re here, and I’m… happy, about that. It’s surreal, but… anyway, as grateful as I am to be alive and together, shouldn’t we try to figure out what the hell happened? How he did what he did? See if we can do it too?”

Viktor blinks, the light and joyful feeling he’s been floating upon dissipating like mist. “You… want to go back.”

“Don’t you?”

“Jayce. They would execute me.”

Jayce looks like Viktor has slapped him. He sets his jaw, brows lowering. “No. I wouldn’t let them. We could explain-”

“Explain what? There is no excuse for what I did. People died.”

“You weren’t…” Jayce falters, shaking his head, looking distressed. Viktor clenches his fists. “That wasn’t the real you. That was the Hexcore corrupting you.”

“Oh, Jayce,” says Viktor, self-loathing roiling in his stomach, hot and sick, “is that what you’re telling yourself?”

Jayce, surprisingly, narrows his eyes and steps up to Viktor, poking him angrily in the chest. With Viktor standing upright instead of hunched in on himself, Jayce is only a few inches taller. “What are you telling yourself? That it was all your fault? That you’re, what, some kind of evil maniac?”

“The evidence seems pretty conclusive,” snaps Viktor. Jayce shakes his head sharply.

“Would you do it all again now? If you could choose to or not. Would you?”

“Of course not!”

“Right,” says Jayce with infuriating certainty. “Because you’re you again. No Hexcore pulling your strings. And you, Viktor…”

He reaches up and holds Viktor’s face between his hands, eyes softening, “… are the best person I know.”

Viktor can feel the tears running down his face and over Jayce’s hands. He goes to draw in a breath, feels it catch in his throat, then catch again. Jayce draws him into his arms, hugs him close as he cries into his shoulder, and then for a little longer. Eventually, Viktor goes quiet, hands fisted in the material of Jayce’s shirt. He takes a deep breath and draws back, eyes downcast. He opens his mouth-

“If you try to apologise, I swear to god, Viktor…”

Viktor lets out an ugly snort, dragging his sleeve across his eyes and then his nose. “Zatraceně… OK, alright, I know.”

He glances up at Jayce, who’s watching him with an unbearably tender expression. Viktor swallows, speaks in a whisper: “Thank you.”

Jayce shrugs. “I get it. I think it’s nice that we’re taking it in turns to have breakdowns. Very polite of us.”

Viktor huffs another laugh and Jayce squeezes his arms where he’s still holding him. “Listen, we can table any discussions about going anywhere for now. We have time to figure things out. I just… are you OK?”

“I… I think so.”

“You want to have a lie down, or…?”

Viktor shakes his head. “It’s the middle of the day. How about… do you still want me to read you the journals?”

“If you want to,” Jayce replies, tucking Viktor’s hair behind his ear, “then yeah, I would really like that.”

“OK.” Viktor murmurs. They settle on the bedroll leaning against the wall, side by side, angled towards each other, legs touching. Viktor pauses, though, before he begins reading.

“So… I said their timeline is similar to ours so far. And it is, mostly, but the major difference is… us.”

“Us?” Jayce questions softly. “You said we were together.”

Viktor nods slowly. “Yes. Very together. Close. I mean, we were close, but…”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… for this version of me, it was your mother who got us together.” Jayce’s eyebrows fly up, and Viktor shrugs. “And then we… went public with it, after six months. So, everyone knows. Caitlyn. Mel. Heimerdinger. And… I think we are getting a dog?”

“Oh, wow,” Jayce breathes, eyes shining with what looks horribly like longing. Viktor swallows and looks away, feeling like a terrible fucking person, because how did he never figure out how much Jayce wanted all that with him? How did it never even occur to him?

“Yeah,” Viktor mutters, opening the journal. “But you have been… going through a rough patch. You might remember, during the Hexgate construction… anyway. This Viktor is handling it better than I did.”

“Viktor…”

“No, it’s true,” Viktor says firmly, eyes downcast. “So. That is where we are at.”

He clears his throat, and begins to read, a little slow and careful since he has to translate the words as he goes:

Things looking up for Hexgate construction. Finally resumed main works and got approval on structural improvements. Jayce seems better. The dog helps! He’s smitten. Called it Blitzcrank – Blitz for short – because it looks like that mechanical toy I built as a child. Strange squat yellow mutt. It’s well-behaved in the lab, sleeps most of the day in its basket. Can get a bit excitable in the evenings at home, but Jayce is walking it every night. Would like to join sometimes but not really feasible with these flare-ups.

~

Blitz earning its keep! Knocked over a scale model Jayce was putting together and Jayce had an epiphany, or so he claims. Glad to see him excited about a new project. Seeing some promising results in my own side project with the new rune combination, as below…

~

Another birthday. Twenty-eight… probably should be grateful, though, falling apart as I am. Not usually a fan of my birthday but Jayce actually made it lovely. Turns out he’s been working on a leg brace for me for weeks in the forge. How did I end up with someone so romantic when I’m so bad at it? Can a leg brace be considered romantic?? Managed not to cry (mostly).

“The leg brace…” Jayce murmurs, and Viktor looks up to see his gaze unfocused, remembering. “I didn’t make you a leg brace until your twenty-ninth. To replace the one you already had, that was creaking all the time.”

Viktor shrugs. “In this timeline, I didn’t even have one before you made it for me.”

Jayce sighs, shifting against the wall, looking unhappy. “This other version of me was a better partner, sounds like.”

“You were a wonderful partner,” Viktor says softly, and Jayce blinks at him, lips parting. “I’m the one who failed compared to this version of me. But… it seems our relationship in this timeline is different. Less fraught. More… committed.”

Jayce’s brow furrows, but he nods slowly, and Viktor looks back down at the journal. He resumes reading. The next few months of entries mostly talk about the ongoing Hexgate construction, the leg brace helping Viktor get around better, and Jayce being cute with Blitz. And, surprisingly, a growing truce between Viktor and Mel.

“I always thought you two would get on well if you gave it a chance,” laughs Jayce. Viktor scoffs, but the evidence is right there on the page.

Had lunch with Mel today, same place as last time. Jayce couldn’t make it; thought it would be weird just us but was actually sort of fun? Very obvious she still has feelings for Jayce. Can’t fault her there. Feels odd to say but I think they would be good together. Bad luck for her, I guess. Probably bad luck for Jayce too but god knows he’s not getting rid of me anytime soon.

~

Exciting – might possibly have figured out a way to stabilise the crystals even further, to the point they might be safe to handle! Would open up so many possibilities. Stayed up most of night at the lab with Jayce and the initial maths and runework checks out. Long road ahead to actually make it a reality, but no one else I’d rather be on that road with.

~

Caitlyn’s decided she wants to be an enforcer. Jayce trying to be supportive but he knows my opinion. She’s like family to him and I like her so I’m keeping my mouth shut and hoping she wises up. Crystal stabilisation research going well, slow but steady. Re-investigating pressurisation. Hoping for no explosions this time!

~

Ximena reminded me none too subtly that Jayce and I are coming up on one year as a couple. Hinted that I should do something nice. So out of my depth with this sort of thing but I want to attempt something. Unsure how to even try to measure up to Jayce in the romance department. Or any department. He’s so brilliant and beautiful and kind. Visits his mother every week and plays with Blitz every day and cuts ribbons or whatever at these events Mel drags him to, and still finds time to be so good to me. Can’t believe I’m writing this but I want to spend my whole life with him.

Viktor’s voice falters on the last line, hands tight on the journal. His heart thuds; he wants to look at Jayce, but he can’t. He hears Jayce swallow heavily.

“Wow,” he murmurs. Viktor drags in a breath and meets his gaze; he’s wearing a sad little smile, and it hurts to look at. “That’s… wow.”

“Yeah,” Viktor whispers. “We… I mean… things were so different for them.”

Jayce has his knees drawn up, arms crossed atop them, face partly tucked away, expression only half-visible. “I guess.”

“Jayce,” Viktor says, helpless. He pauses, dredging up courage. “I wish I… could have been this. I wish I could have given you what you deserved. What you still deserve.”

“I wish I could have, too,” Jayce says quietly. “It wasn’t because I didn’t… I just couldn’t seem to… I don’t know. It all felt so complicated.”

Viktor swallows, stares heavily at him. Part of him wants to argue that it was Viktor who held back, who made it complicated, but… realistically, they both did. He sighs and looks back down at the journal. He keeps reading, voice quiet.

Pressurisation results very exciting! Need to work out how to apply them. Previous and recent results compared below. Only one explosion this time!

~

Still trying to figure out this anniversary thing. Brainstorming things Jayce likes. 1) Science and engineering. Obvious. 2) Blitz. No idea how to involve a dog but Jayce does love that dog. 3) Being tied up and edged. Compelling thought but probably not the right tone for a romantic gesture. Shame. Really need to come up with something.

~

Had some more small explosions… second one more of a medium size. Mel stepped in and sorted out insurance paperwork. Credit where credit is due, she can be very helpful. Found out she visits Jayce in the forge sometimes and made her squirm a bit about it. I know exactly why she visits Jayce in the forge and she knows I know. Pervert. Not that I can talk, considering what happened last time I visited the forge.

~

Council being annoying since that last explosion. Wasn’t even that big, not like anyone died… very silly. Using it as an excuse to demand we focus fully on the Hexgate project. Construction is on schedule so they have no reason to be so meddlesome. Mel is apologetic. Distracting myself by losing my mind over this idiotic anniversary plan.

~

Anniversary plan was not as idiotic as I feared! He loved the machine I made for him: miniature high-speed laser engraver. Got it to draw a little portrait of us with Blitz on a piece of wood. Did it in under a minute! He was so engrossed in examining it he almost forgot he’d booked a reservation for dinner. The restaurant was in Zaun??? Barely over the bridge, but still. Endeared by how excited he was to try more Zaunite food. Endeared by just about everything he does. Also - might have invented next generation of high-speed laser engravers. Need to discuss with artificer expert.

Viktor laughs a little as he reads, caught up in the lovestruck happiness of his other self. He can imagine it all too well. He glances a little warily at Jayce, but relaxes when he sees him smiling too, head still pillowed on his arms.

“That sounds amazing.”

Viktor nods, swallowing. He looks back down at the journal. “I remember being that happy with you at times, though. I mean, there was no anniversary celebration, but…”

“Yeah, that’s true,” sighs Jayce. “This doesn’t mean that what we had wasn’t… good, or important. But…”

“I know,” Viktor says softly, and Jayce gives him a faint, wistful smile. Viktor closes the journal and lays it aside, noticing the mellow golden light they’re bathed in. It’s afternoon again. “Let’s… leave that for now. We need to sort out more food at some point, although it looks like there are some grains and some more dried things to keep us going a little longer. We also need to-”

“Viktor,” interrupts Jayce quietly, “can you just… come lie down with me for a bit?”

He holds out his hand, eyes beseeching. Viktor swallows, then nods weakly, moving toward him as if magnetised. He’s expecting to be pulled into Jayce’s embrace, but instead he finds himself gently pushed down onto the bedroll, Jayce snuggling against his side and draping an arm over him. Viktor sighs a little, already foreseeing a too-warm and sweaty nap. He finds he doesn’t care much, stroking his fingers through Jayce’s hair, feeling him nudge into the petting like a happy cat.

Viktor drifts off, dreaming of both his own memories and memories of another life, and he smiles in his sleep.

Chapter Text

As expected, Viktor wakes up overheated, dehydrated, and with Jayce wrapped around him as though the concept of personal space is a direct insult to him.

“Jayce,” he mutters, getting his hands between them, pushing gently against a solid chest. “Please move.”

“Hmm?” Jayce rumbles, nuzzling into Viktor’s neck. Viktor smiles into his hair and repeats his request; after a moment, Jayce makes a vague noise and rolls away, blinking blearily at him. “Wha…?”

“Go back to sleep,” Viktor hushes, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Jayce’s forehead. He gets a happy hum for that. Viktor remembers this fondly, how sleepy and sweet Jayce is when he first wakes up, how cuddly he is whilst unconscious, how much heat he gives off in his sleep. It meant Viktor spent two years adapting to be able to fall asleep in what felt like tropical temperatures, two years waking up in the night half-crushed, two years of sweating through his sleep clothes (he tried no clothes, but that felt even stickier).

And then, later, he struggled to sleep every single night because the bed felt too cold and empty even with extra layers and the heater on.

It’s only been an hour or so since they dozed off. Viktor sips a cup of water, eyes on Jayce’s relaxed face, the little twitches of his eyelids, the soft curl of his fingers. He doesn’t like thinking about those lonely years sleeping by himself… yet he can’t wrap his mind around the idea that they might be over.

Casting about for a distraction, Viktor’s gaze lands on the journal he was reading to Jayce before they went to sleep. He hesitates, wondering if Jayce is expecting him to read him every word of it from now on. Surely not. There are still years’ worth of notebooks to get through. Jayce is a practical man; he won’t mind having some things summarised.

Settling in his previous position against the wall, Viktor opens the journal, delving back into the ghosts of what might have been. There’s only half a dozen more entries in the third year’s journal, and then he starts on the fourth one. It’s largely more of the same; there’s a lot that Viktor recognises and a lot that he doesn’t. The gemstone project – for Viktor knows that’s what the ‘crystal stabilisation’ experiments will become – keeps progressing, Jayce seems in good mental health and extremely dedicated to being a dog owner… and the cautious alliance with Mel blossoms into close friendship.

That would have been strange enough, but as Viktor reaches about halfway through the journal, it takes a truly mind-boggling twist:

Hungover but I fear I deserve it. Mel came over for dinner last night. Brought wine and we all got tipsy. Normal. Her and Jayce both did a terrible job trying not to flirt. Normal. I started yawning, so Jayce said maybe I should go to bed, to which I responded something like ‘it would make more sense for me to take the sofa since you two could clearly make better use of the bed’. NOT NORMAL why did I say that??? Both seemed flustered. Played it off as a joke but Mel left soon after. Hangover symptoms distracting me from embarrassment, at least.

~

Spoke to Jayce about Mel thing. He was not happy with me. Asked me if I was trying to upset Mel. Obviously no, I feel horrible that I made her uncomfortable. Asked me if I’m jealous. Said no – fairly sure it’s true. Jayce bewildered - understandable. I said I was tired of watching them both so obviously want each other, and they should just get on with it. Asked him if he has feelings for her. Reluctant to answer, but admitted yes. Told him I already knew that, has always been pretty obvious!! Told him he can pursue that if he wants as long as it’s not a secret from me. Going to apologise to Mel.

~

Since this is meant to be a Hextech journal and not a personal diary: seeing promising data from the long-term pressurisation test. Also had a thought about runes in controlled science vs runes in nature. Need to do more testing but it seems like the very physics of the runes can change depending on intent of user? Suggests something almost sentient about arcane forces. Also: spoke to Mel. Told her what I told Jayce. Didn’t tell her what he said, just that she should speak to him about whether they feel the same for each other. Aware that it’s stupid of me to essentially offer my insanely eligible partner to the most beautiful woman on the planet and expect it to be fine. Feels like it will be fine though???

~

Wild runes is what I’m calling the bursts and hubs of arcane power that occur in nature and sometimes within the rune structures we create for Hextech. Potentially more powerful than any standard rune we work with. Very distracted by this and the possible studies I could do on it, but I did tick off some tasks for Hexgate works today too. Crystal stabilisation a little neglected at the moment.

~

!!! Jayce came home from dinner with Mel. Seems like they had that talk and then some. Jayce is baffled that I’m happy about this and to be honest so am I. I don’t know why but it just feels right to me. Wild rune preliminary testing looking very exciting! Initial results copied below show that the

Viktor snaps the journal shut, staring blankly at thin air. Mel and Jayce.

Obviously, he’s very aware that the two of them have always had a long-held attraction between them. But for him, it was a spectre haunting his relationship with Jayce, fractured and restricted as it was. Mel represented everything Viktor couldn’t give Jayce. He never hated her, but they were never friends either. He was unsurprised when she finally crept in and claimed Jayce for herself; honestly, it felt overdue. It felt like Viktor had just been getting in the way all those years.

The idea of inviting Mel into his relationship with Jayce… Viktor exhales slowly, shaking his head in confusion. It’s hard to fathom. Not just because of the jealousy with which he’s always viewed her, but because he never had that level of trust and communication with Jayce. It’s a bittersweet ache, seeing that he could have, in another life. That there was a version of him that was capable of that.

It’s dusk; he needs to light a candle if he wants to keep reading. He does so, then lights the stove too, realising from his cramping stomach that food needs to be a priority. He puts on a pot of water to boil and finds some familiar grain that he knows will cook reasonably fast. There’s salt and some dried herbs for flavour; it will be a boring meal, but at least somewhat edible. Perhaps he and Jayce need to venture into the nearest town or village sooner rather than-

“Oh, are you cooking?”

Viktor turns, smiling to see Jayce stretching and yawning, tangled in the blanket on the sleeping roll. “Yes. Nothing to get excited about, I’m afraid.”

“If it’s food, that’s exciting,” replies Jayce as he sits up, running a hand through his hair, still blinking slowly. “I’m starving.”

“There’s a little of the dried fruit left.”

“Ah, nice…”

Viktor shakes salt into the slowly heating water as Jayce nibbles. The candlelight is soft, but adequate for the small space. It feels… cosy.

“So,” Jayce says, standing by the shelves and fiddling with something he picked up, “found out anything interesting in those journals?”

Viktor glances at him. “You knew I would read more?”

“Most curious mind I know,” grins Jayce, eyes twinkling. Viktor smiles, shrugs and turns back to the stove. “So?”

“Well… yes,” admits Viktor, unsure how he’s supposed to even begin to explain this. “It’s, um. Well. Firstly, this Viktor has started on his wild rune theory phase.”

“Oh, god, I remember how obsessed you got,” laughs Jayce, “although… I mean, you were right.”

“Obviously.”

“No, yeah, obviously, but it ended up being… pretty relevant.”

Jayce comes to sit beside the stove as he speaks, leaning against the wall, still fiddling with the object from the shelves.

It’s a small, flat metal cog. So innocuous, yet so familiar. So impossibly loaded with meaning and memory.

Viktor stares at it, and feels a shiver run down his spine. For the first time, the whole concept of having alternate versions of himself living alternate lives and yet still, somehow, having so many of the same things happen… it strikes him as a little unsettling. The word fate floats through his mind.

“You OK?”

Viktor jumps, meeting Jayce’s eyes. “Hm? Yes.”

“Anything else happened? How much did you read?”

“I’m about halfway through the fourth notebook. And…”

He hesitates, but he has no desire to keep secrets. “You and Mel.”

To his surprise, Jayce recoils, face immediately falling. “No, we… you and I… we were so happy-”

“No, no, it’s not- we didn’t break up,” Viktor hastens to clarify, then stops, frowning. “I mean, we did, but you know that, I just- this version of us has not. Mel is… an addition.”

Jayce blinks, eyes turning enormous. “Wh… all three of us?”

Viktor raises an eyebrow, highly interested in the pink colour creeping up Jayce’s neck, the way his pupils dilate. “Do you enjoy that thought, Jayce?”

“Uh…”

“Oh, you do.”

Jayce visibly swallows, shifting a little where he sits, and Viktor forgot how good he looks when he’s turned on and a bit embarrassed about it. How much fun it can be to tease him. How pretty he is when he blushes and bites his lip-

The water begins to boil loudly. Viktor wrenches his gaze away, fumbling a little as he turns down the gas and pours dried grain into the pot.

“Not all three of us,” Viktor says, watching what he’s doing instead of looking at Jayce. “Just you and her, but you and I too. I sort of… urged it to happen. I don’t know, it’s a little strange.”

He sits back and glances at Jayce with a self-conscious shrug. Jayce scratches his neck, looking away.

“It’s… huh. I guess I’m biased, but… it sounds kind of good…”

Viktor smirks as he stirs the bubbling mixture in the pot, sprinkling in herbs. “Hmm.”

Jayce huffs a laugh. “OK, how about I cook while you read some more? I’d like to know what happens next.”

“Oh, I’m sure you would…”

He does as Jayce suggests despite his teasing, handing the spoon over and fetching the pile of journals, but he feels a certain amount of dread as he settles down to read. There’s not many more entries to go until the alternate versions of him and Jayce will have been together for two years. It’s creeping ever closer to when, in his own timeline, the two of them fell apart and agreed to be research partners only.

As Viktor opens to the page he was up to, he wonders what would be worse: having to relive one of the most heartbreaking things he’s ever had to do… or realising that this other version of himself was brave enough not to do it at all.

Breakthrough with wild rune research! Impossible to quantify and therefore very difficult to present conclusive data, but I believe wild runes – possibly any runes – are capable of behaving proactively, not just reactively. Working on first draft of research paper, but still a way off. Barely even glanced at anything else but thankfully Jayce is on top of crystal stabilisation and Hexgate… and probably Mel, at this very moment (will make that joke when I see him tomorrow, fun to make him blush). Staying at lab with Blitz tonight, in too much pain to walk home. Breathing bad lately.

~

Betrayed by my body! Typical. Breathing already not good and now I’ve got some viral cough, which in turn is making my back pain worse. In bed all day. Jayce being very sweet with tea and soup etc. Grateful even if he does fuss a bit.

~

Hexgate main construction complete! Looks amazing. Less than two months until grand opening, coinciding nicely with three years of Hextech. Council very excited, making noises about funding allocations. Getting worried about this lingering cough. Had to swap cane for crutch because back hurts so much.

Viktor sighs to himself, pausing there. He feels a sort of dull pity for his other self, who had no idea just how bad things would get. No idea that the crutch would become a permanent change, not a temporary measure.

“I think this is done,” Jayce says, quiet but still so sudden it makes Viktor jump. He’s staring into the pot as he stirs. He opens his mouth, closes it again, then finally mutters: “I’ll go and drain the water outside.”

He gets up without looking at Viktor, hurrying out with the steaming pot and the spoon. Viktor waits for him to return, watches him divide the rather mushy substance between two bowls. He accepts his serving with murmured thanks, eyes still on Jayce, who sits back down heavily before meeting his eyes with a grim expression.

“The other you has started to get more sick. Like you did.”

Viktor nods, stomach twisting a little at the way Jayce swallows and stares down at his food.

“I had no idea at the time,” Jayce says, so quietly Viktor can barely hear him. “I thought it was just the change of season knocking you about a bit. I didn’t know it was…”

“The beginning of the end,” Viktor finishes softly. “Neither did I, at first. Neither did he. But… once I realised…”

“Do you think he’ll do the same as you did?”

Viktor exhales slowly. “I… I don’t know.”

He picks up his food and starts eating it, making a slight face at the blandness but hungry enough to ignore it. Jayce does the same. When they’re both finished, Viktor lays his fingertips on the notebook pile.

“Shall I keep reading?”

Jayce looks full of dread, but he nods, setting his jaw. Viktor nods back and picks up the journal, opening to the page he was up to.

Starting to think... bad things. Cough not any better. Back is worse than before. Hurts to stand or even sit upright. Jayce got a doctor to visit. Lung infection, should recover but will take time. Distracting myself writing runes paper and trying to think of a funny title. Jayce coming up with horrendous puns. Should not be as attractive as it is.

~

Finally coughing less but breathing and back still painful. Finishing touches being put on Hexgate. Four weeks to go! Feels like Jayce and I are having a baby. Cracked that joke in front of Ximena and she got a LOOK on her face. Alarming! Hobbling about a little yesterday but paying for it today, back in bed. Jayce using opportunity to corner me into writing a joint speech for Hexgate opening. I suggested Mel and I make a joint speech about him instead, comparing notes. Got told to ‘take this seriously’. No fun at all.

~

Finally back in the lab! And finally back in something approaching a sex life. Jayce kept telling me he doesn’t care, loves me no matter what etc, but we didn’t share a bed and barely even kissed for almost a month while I was coughing and wheezing all the time. Honestly comforting to know he had Mel. Having to be annoyingly careful during sex as back is still fucked – still, at least it’s not the only one now! Used that line on Jayce and he almost fell out of bed laughing. Easy to please (thank god).

~

Good to be back on wild runes research. Jayce seems happy to let me work on it as my own project and is taking care of the last minute Hexgate minutiae – eternally grateful. Can tell he’s worried that my breathing is still laboured even with the cough gone. Haven’t told him I’ve set up a lung specialist appointment tomorrow. Don’t want to make him anxious.

~

Spoke to specialist and lung damage/weakness is looking permanent. Trying not to panic. It’s happening just like in my nightmares. Don’t remember Mamka enough but Táta started with a bad cough and his breathing never got better until he started coughing blood. Doctor said it might not be the same thing but I know it is. I know it.

~

Another breakthrough with wild runes. I think I could use a partially stabilised crystal to synthesise a controlled version of a wild rune. Been so scattered lately in lab but getting somewhere with predicting reactions to stimuli. Slowly putting together algorithm. Too slowly. Everything is too slowly.

~

Hate this. Jayce wants to do something for two year anniversary tomorrow but I just keep thinking I should end things between us instead. Maybe this is why him and Mel feel so right. He’s supposed to be with her, not me. Makes more sense from every angle, and if Ximena wants grandchildren it wouldn’t happen with me even if I lived for decades. Jayce deserves someone he can have a life with but I’m too much of a coward to let him go.

~

Formatting data sets for wild runes paper but can’t concentrate. Breathing feels a little better but back still sore. Using it as an excuse if I’m honest. Spending too much time in bed instead of going into lab. Missed Hexgate opening last week. That was a bad day. Keep feeling like everything is pointless.

~

Mel came to visit while Jayce was at the lab. Blunt with me but I needed it. Said Jayce is anxious and stressed about me. Hindsight is obvious but he’s been hiding it well. Broke down and told her about the lung problem. Never seen her cry before. Of course she insisted there’s no diagnosis and therefore no prognosis, but I know this disease all too well. Called me some colourful things when I said Jayce should be with her instead of me. Made me promise to talk to him. He’s lucky to have her. I am too.

~

Spoke to Jayce. Hardest thing I’ve ever done. He reacted much like Mel – in denial. I love them both so much but these topsiders have no idea what the toxins back home do to people. He’s looking into more lung specialists for second opinions. Told him my back was probably the more fixable problem - took me at face value and is currently designing a body brace. Idiot. Made me laugh – better than crying.

Viktor draws in an unsteady breath as he reads the next part. It takes him an extra moment or two to translate it in his head. When he says it, his voice is hoarse and shaky with mingled joy and grief:

He asked me to marry him. Still in shock. Insane and foolish.

I said yes.

Chapter Text

“Oh, my god,” Jayce breathes, leaning forward with his face in his hands. “Oh, god, I really thought… I can’t believe they… he… you…”

“Not me,” Viktor says faintly, still looking down at the words on the page. “Him. I made a different choice.”

He swallows and blinks, imagining it. How it would have felt to have told Jayce the truth, to have shared his fear and pain instead of choosing loneliness. At the time, it seemed like that would be selfish. Now, it feels like the selfish thing was icing Jayce out. Why did he really choose to end things? Because Viktor called himself Jayce’s partner, but had no idea what that ought to mean? Because he didn’t trust himself enough to trust Jayce? Because he had spent so much of his life alone that he couldn’t comprehend an alternative?

And to know that Jayce, or at least another version of Jayce, reacted to Viktor’s trust, and even to his fear and his pain… by proposing? What a bizarre, beautiful thought. But of course Jayce would see limited time together as all the more reason to make the most of that time. To hold on tighter, instead of letting go.

“Hey,” Jayce says gently, touching his shoulder and then his jaw, catching his gaze. “I’m not going to lie and say that it doesn’t hurt, or that I don’t wish we could have had what’s in those journal entries. But… I get it.”

Viktor gives a dull, humourless smile. “Do you? I’m not sure I do, anymore.”

“You did what you thought was right,” Jayce says with conviction, and Viktor will never understand how he can have so much warmth when Viktor has treated him so coldly. Jayce’s compassion, when it comes to Viktor, seems to know no bounds. It makes him want to cry. It makes him want to shake him and tell him to be smarter. It makes him want, full stop.

He drops the journal, takes Jayce’s face in his hands and kisses him. It’s spontaneous, so it’s brief and clumsy; they break apart and stare at each other for several seconds.

“Sorry,” says Viktor a little blankly. His heart is thrumming in his throat. Jayce quickly shakes his head and catches hold of Viktor’s hands as they withdraw.

“Don’t,” Jayce whispers, eyes pleading. “Don’t pull back from me. Not again. Not now.”

Viktor inhales sharply. He holds Jayce’s gaze for several seconds, wavering, then abruptly leans in and kisses him again. This time it is neither brief nor clumsy.

Jayce makes a low sound, tugging him closer. It starts off careful, but quickly turns passionate, both of them stoked high with emotion and long-strangled yearning. Viktor shifts to straddle Jayce’s thighs, dizzy with relief to feel broad hands on his waist, to tangle his fingers in Jayce’s hair. Their beards catch and scrape, strange and new, even as the rest of it feels so familiar. Jayce’s hands slip under Viktor’s shirt, running rough over his skin, and Viktor impatiently leans back to yank the shirt over his head.

A small part of him is amazed and increasingly excited to not have to be careful with himself. He hasn’t done this in years and the last time he did, he was aching all over, weak, fatigued, out of breath. Frustrated from struggling to keep up with his own desire. Now, despite the twinges and the way he still has to put less weight on his right leg, he feels strong.

He also feels unexpectedly beautiful, as Jayce gazes at him and runs his fingertips from Viktor’s collarbones down to his stomach, lips parted, eyes wide and dilated between his tousled bangs. He doesn’t seem put off by the Hexcore scarring on Viktor’s chest. Quite the opposite; he ducks his head and presses his parted mouth to it, then his tongue, drawing a breathless sound from Viktor even though he can’t feel it. Jayce’s hands are tight on Viktor’s waist as he kisses from his sternum all the way up his throat, lips warm and damp on his skin.

“Vik…” he breathes, and Viktor smiles at the old nickname. He used to grumble about it, but now he associates it with affection; Jayce only used to call him that when they were alone and he was being sweet. Or when he was turned on. It’s increasingly obvious, from the way he digs his fingers into Viktor’s sides and gazes up at him with parted mouth and simmering eyes, that it’s currently the latter.

“My love,” Viktor whispers, tugging at Jayce’s hair to tip his head back further. He leans down and kisses him, softer than before, and exhales against his lips: “Má lásko.”

Jayce makes a noise a little like a sob at the term of endearment, hands coming up to cradle Viktor’s jaw, kissing him again and again on the mouth, the moles on his face, his nose, his forehead… Viktor huffs, caught between amusement and aching tenderness. He escapes the onslaught by ducking and mouthing at Jayce’s neck, pushing his shirt up and murmuring approval as Jayce immediately starts taking it off. He leans back to avoid getting elbowed in the face, running his hands down Jayce’s bare chest before the shirt is even fully over his head.

“OK, OK,” Jayce laughs breathlessly, tossing the shirt aside, capturing Viktor’s wrists and giving him a fond, glowing sort of look. “Can I… touch you first? Is that OK?”

Viktor tilts his head and smiles softly. “Whatever you want.”

Jayce brings one of Viktor’s hands to his mouth, lips pressing reverently to his inner wrist, then lets go to gently touch his hip. “Is your knee OK if you sit up further?”

Viktor swallows, suddenly pretty certain he knows exactly what Jayce has in mind. He steadies himself on Jayce’s shoulders as he kneels up, very aware of the visible tent in his loose-fitting trousers, suddenly much closer to Jayce’s face. Closer, too, to his very full and soft-looking lips, which fall open as he stares.

“It’s fine,” Viktor manages, voice hoarse, head spinning as more blood rushes south. “Knee. Is fine. Thanks.”

Jayce’s eyes crinkle in a small laugh, glancing up at him as Viktor touches his jaw in a daze. “Good. You let me know if that changes.”

He plucks open the trousers, already sitting low on Viktor’s hipbones, letting them slither down around his thighs. Viktor makes a small, breathy sound as hands settle on his hips and a warm mouth presses to his lower stomach.

“Jayce,” Viktor breathes, but there’s no response except more slow kisses down the inside of his hipbone, making him shiver. Jayce always had a tendency to take his time. So did Viktor, but he did it to tease, to make Jayce beg. Jayce does it to worship. Viktor tips his head to the side, watching avidly, stroking through Jayce’s hair, painfully grateful to have this again.

Jayce kisses his way down to Viktor’s thigh, nuzzles into the crease of it, noses across sensitive skin to do the same on the other side. He makes a low sound as Viktor scratches at his scalp, petting him. His lashes flutter open to peer upwards. Viktor licks his lips, heart thudding in his ears. He carefully fits his other hand to Jayce’s jaw.

“Open your mouth,” he murmurs, and he sees Jayce’s pupils blow out, his gaze turn hazy. He obeys, shameless, wanting. He’s so beautiful like this; Viktor almost forgot, except in his dreams. It feels like a dream, the kind of filthy fantasy Viktor remembers feeling guilty about back before he knew Jayce wanted him too, or the aching, yearning memories that plagued him in his sleep after it was all over.

It’s searingly real a moment later, though. Jayce gives a grateful moan when Viktor pushes into his mouth, the noise vibrating through his tongue. Viktor swears, breathless, dumbfounded. He can’t look away. He feeds Jayce a little more, fingers curled in his hair and on his neck, then draws back. Jayce licks him like he’s starving for it, cheeks flushed, his hands sliding down to wrap around the backs of Viktor’s thighs.

“Good,” Viktor breathes, thumb stroking Jayce’s jaw as he rocks into his mouth again, knowing full well he’ll get another moan. Jayce doesn’t disappoint. Viktor gasps, rolling his hips harder, control fracturing. Jayce swallows him down eagerly, makes an encouraging sound, but through the haze of desire in his mind Viktor remembers what the journals said about this sort of thing. He pauses, breathing hard, and withdraws. Jayce blinks up at him, questioning, and Viktor cups his cheek.

“Jayce, lásko,” he murmurs, and Jayce’s whole face goes soft, leaning into his hand. Viktor swallows. “If we are going to, uh… I don’t want to go too far. I don’t want to get too rough.”

Jayce nuzzles into his palm, hair a scattered mess and half-obscuring his eyes. “I like it.”

“I- I know.” It’s hard to focus, but Viktor can’t shake the memories or the guilt. “How about a signal? For safety. If you want me to stop or ease off, if you need to breathe or have a break, you tap three times. Anywhere I can feel it. I will stop, yes?”

“Won’t want you to stop-”

“But if you do,” Viktor cuts across him firmly. He tilts Jayce’s chin up with his fingers, holding his gaze. “Three taps. Promise me.”

“OK,” Jayce breathes, and Viktor smiles, brushing his hair off his brow. Jayce smiles back, but he’s always been task-oriented, so he’s not distracted for long. Viktor stops thinking pretty quickly after that. It’s all sensation and rhythm and instinct and memory, bracing himself against the wall, cupping the back of Jayce’s head, urgent gasps and moans falling from his lips. It’s blissful, the relinquishing of restraint, the heady satisfaction at how well Jayce takes it, how he goes pliant and passive for Viktor’s pleasure.

Viktor pants, chasing that pleasure, feeling his belly tighten as he- as he-

“Jayce,” he gasps, and suddenly it’s easy. Suddenly it’s everything and everywhere. He’s floating, all pain or discomfort forgotten, joy flowing through him. He can feel some kind of not-heat radiating out from within him, a sense of connection, almost like when he and Jayce were together in that void. Viktor opens his eyes, and freezes.

Light. So much light, golden and dazzling, glowing from within him, snaking out from him in rivulets as though searching for something to latch onto, and Jayce is there frozen with wide eyes-

Viktor wrenches back, hitting the floor, and the light rushes back inside him and disappears. He glances wildly down at the scar on his chest, seeing it pulsing and glowing, but then his attention is back on Jayce as the other man slumps against the wall, gasping for breath.

“W-what was that?”

“Are you alright?” Viktor asks shakily, tugging his trousers back up and scrambling closer, hands fluttering over Jayce but not quite touching him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry-”

“Hey, hey,” soothes Jayce, still catching his breath, but he sits up and cups Viktor’s face, swiping a thumb under his eye. It’s wet; Viktor realises belatedly he has tears on his cheeks. “I’m fine, OK? I’m absolutely fine. It didn’t do anything to me. But you…”

“I don’t understand,” Viktor says, heart thudding. “The Hexcore isn’t in me. Is it? It can’t be, but that was like I was still connected to it, so… am I still corrupted by it, too?”

Jayce frowns. “It can’t be within you. It’s not in your mind, or even most of your body. When I fused you with the Hexcore in our world, it took over.”

Viktor can’t seem to stop shaking. “It could have- it could have taken hold of you-”

“It didn’t do anything to me, I promise,” Jayce says softly, and he puts his arms around him, tugging him half onto his lap, speaking into his hair. “You didn’t hurt me, OK? And you weren’t trying to control me or evolve me or whatever. I know that, and so do you.”

“I don’t want to be a danger to you,” whispers Viktor, pressing closer, listening to Jayce’s heartbeat. “I don’t want you to be afraid.”

“Vik,” Jayce sighs into the top of his head, “I’m not afraid. I love you.”

Viktor makes a small sound, hiding his tear-damp face in Jayce’s neck. He breathes until his heart rate slows, then breathes some more, and he tries not to think about what it felt like to channel the power of the Hexcore once more. He tries not to think about how frightened it makes him. Frightened because of the past, frightened for Jayce… frightened of himself.

When Viktor feels calm, he shifts his head on Jayce’s shoulder and speaks, quieter than before. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Perfectly alright,” Jayce murmurs, arms solid and warm around him, and Viktor does feel reassured by the certainty in his voice.

“OK.” He pauses, then admits: “Up until… that… it was, uh. It was really good.”

Jayce hums, cheek resting against Viktor’s hair. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” Viktor mumbles. He presses his lips to Jayce’s collarbone and then sits back to meet his eyes, tilting his head. “It feels very unfair to leave you unsatisfied when you put in so much, ah, effort, so… if you would like…”

He touches Jayce’s stomach as he speaks, trailing his fingertips lightly and feeling the muscles jump. Jayce flushes, but catches hold of Viktor’s hand before it can drift lower.

“Actually,” he says, eyes darting away in what looks like embarrassment, “that’s, uh. That’s taken care of.”

Viktor blinks, then looks down to see a conspicuous damp patch on the thin material of Jayce’s trousers, then blinks again. “Seriously? When?”

Jayce clears his throat, getting steadily redder. “OK, you know how much I like when you use my mouth, and it’s been a while, and I got so close I kind of… had to... y’know. It didn’t take much.”

Viktor can feel the slow smirk tugging at his mouth; Jayce scowls at him and crosses his arms.

“Anyway,” he says, and Viktor shrugs, still smiling. His smile fades, though, at Jayce’s next words: “I think your orgasm was the more pertinent one here. I know that was a bit of a shock, but are you not at all interested in exploring what the hell happened there?”

Viktor hesitates, and Jayce clearly reads the truth on his face. “See? This warrants further investigation.”

Viktor narrows his eyes, and Jayce holds up his hands placatingly, eyes wide. “Not because I’m being a pervert about it, I swear! And we absolutely should not do anything you’re not OK with. I just think… if this is something that brings out some kind of power or connects you to arcane magic, then wouldn’t it be better if you could control it? Then maybe you wouldn’t have to be scared of it.”

“You want to do sex research.”

Jayce lowers his hands and shrugs, lips quirking, eyes twinkling. “We are pretty good at both those things, right?”

Viktor sighs, rubbing tiredly between his eyes. “As long as you do not refer to it as ‘sextech’, then I suppose we can carefully-”

“Sextech? That is genius-”

“No, it is most definitely not,” protests Viktor, but he’s smiling despite himself at the delighted expression on Jayce’s face. He shakes his head as he climbs to his feet, muttering fondly to himself: “Idiot…”

He hears Jayce laughing behind him as he begins gathering the bowls and cutlery that need washing up, and suddenly the fear that gripped him before feels small and far away. He exhales slowly, and reminds himself that he’s not dealing with the Hexcore alone. Not anymore.

Chapter Text

It’s the middle of the night, but there’s a nearly full moon to see by. Jayce follows Viktor down to the lake, stripping off and wading in to wash while Viktor cleans their utensils and then Jayce’s trousers. He carefully arranges them on the grass to dry, then checks the previously washed clothes.

Still a little damp on the undersides. He decides to flip them over and leave them out, since it’s a warm night. He hears a splash and turns; it’s hard to make out much, with so much moonlight rippling on the dark water, but it seems like Jayce has dived in for a proper swim.

“You coming in?” he calls, and Viktor makes an affirmative noise, pulling off his clothing and splashing in, soap in hand. The water feels even more frigid without the hot sun on his back.

“Kurva drát- shit- fucking- do prdele-” he hisses as he wades deeper, washing himself as quickly as possible, teeth bared. Jayce laughs where he’s half-floating, half-swimming on his back.

“Missed your foul-mouthed muttering,” he says almost dreamily. “Reminds me of the lab. Look, you may as well just dive in like I did. It’s alright once you’re under.”

“I’m not diving in,” Viktor protests, already making his way back to shore. “I can’t swim.”

“You can’t?”

“Not many places safe to swim in the Undercity,” he points out grimly as he puts the soap down and wipes his hands on his thighs, “and the few that existed when I was young were always full of other children who didn’t want me there. So, I never learned.”

Jayce is still for a moment, then Viktor hears splashing and sees him moving closer and holding out his hand, eyes glimmering in the silvery dark. “I want you here. I could teach you.”

Viktor opens and then shuts his mouth. It feels so quiet, suddenly, calm water and warm still air in the moonlight, no one else around. He swallows, then nods slowly and wades to meet him, fingers lacing instinctively when he takes his hand. He lets Jayce lead him deeper into the lake than he would go by himself, only vaguely nervous when the water starts lapping at his chin, listening to Jayce’s instructions for keeping his arms in motion and kicking with his stronger leg. Jayce’s grip on his hand is firm and steady as Viktor ducks under and lets himself sink down into the cold inky blackness, laughing a little and pushing his hair back when he comes up for air.

“You’re doing great!” Jayce says, his smile obvious in his voice. “You want me to let go?”

“No! No, I… please don’t,” Viktor replies breathlessly, but he’s the one who lets go of Jayce’s hand, grabbing at both his shoulders instead. Jayce’s gentle touch settles on his waist under the water; it’s hard to say if he tugs Viktor towards him, or if Viktor somehow drifts closer despite the minimal buoyancy of the thin, saltless water. It feels entirely natural, though, for Viktor’s arms to slide around Jayce’s neck, for them to press against each other, for their foreheads to come to rest together. Viktor exhales softly, struck by the still peace of the moment. He feels a rush of gratitude, warm despite the cold lake.

They stay in the water until they both start to shiver a little, then leave the lake, quiet except for Jayce’s mumbled noise of thanks when Viktor hurries to grab the wooden staff and hand it to him. It’s obvious they’re both sleepy, Jayce leaning heavily on the staff as Viktor gets dressed and grabs the washed utensils and soap. When they’re back in the hut, it’s almost too dark to see anything, but since all they want to do is crawl into the sleeping roll it doesn’t matter. They curl up, Viktor’s back to Jayce’s chest, fingers interlaced in front of them.

For the first time since their arrival, Jayce is already up when Viktor awakens. He’s sat in front of the propped-open door, no clothes on, tongue between his teeth and hair flopping into his eyes as he tightens a screw on his leg brace. Viktor lies half-asleep and simply admires him for several minutes, until Jayce glances his way and brightens with a smile.

“Morning!”

Viktor smiles back, shifting his head where he has it resting on his folded arm. “Good morning. Not that I am complaining, but why are you still naked?”

“We’re out of clean clothes,” Jayce shrugs, “and besides, it’s not cold.”

Viktor hums in thought. “Add clothing to the list of things we need to buy. We’re lucky there was a money pouch left on the shelves.”

“We’re lucky the other you set things up for us here in general,” nods Jayce. “But yeah, I think we’ll need to pay a visit to some kind of civilisation soon. Maybe you could read the rest of the journals beforehand, though? Learn as much as we can about this world. I’m going to go and check if my clothes are dry, then explore a bit more.”

Viktor murmurs agreement and watches him leave, then stretches and gets up. He wanders to the doorway, brushing his teeth with water from the jug. He can see Jayce down at the lake’s edge, examining the clothing laid out on the grass. It’s another idyllic morning, sun shining, soft breeze, majestic mountains. If Viktor were a more fanciful man, he really would think they’ve been granted entry to paradise.

Heading back to the bedroll, he leans against the wall with the journal, flipping through the pages of his own familiar spiky scrawl until he reaches where he left off. He stares once again at the words ‘I said yes’, mind buzzing a little blankly, then shakes himself and turns the page to the next entry:

OK, starting to sink in that I have a fiancé. Still feels very strange and unlikely. Jayce even more affectionate than usual, very sweet but driving me a little insane. Eventually got him distracted with latest wild rune experiment planning. He hasn’t been very involved thus far – it’s just been my side project – but I think he’s hooked now! Glad to have fresh eyes. Already made some connections and suggestions that wouldn’t have occurred to me.

~

Hexgates functioning well so far but Council already pressuring us to announce next big project. Jayce thinks we should keep wild rune research under wraps for now. Inclined to agree even though it’s a shame not to publish that paper. Will probably be able to pitch Hexgate improvements to Council since we have a backlog of ideas we haven’t had time or funding to explore.

~

Interesting conversation with Mel about crystal stabilisation when I explained it to her (technically should not be doing that but technically she shouldn’t be fucking her ‘investment’ either, so…). She pointed out the potential use of stabilised and fortified Hextech crystals in weapons. Genuinely had not occurred to me or to Jayce – we were envisaging machinery and tools for use in various industries, particularly in Zaunite mines. Mel called us naïve and she might be right. Lots to think about.

~

Ring!!! Did not think it would matter to me but it all suddenly felt much more real the moment Jayce put it on my finger. Managed to find simultaneously the stupidest and sweetest way of doing it – attached it to the back brace prototype he’s been working on, had me try on brace to make adjustments, waited for me to notice – did the worst possible acting job – ‘how did that get there’ etc. Wants to announce it to everyone but I asked for a little more time – plotting to get him a matching ring.

~

Lung specialist Jayce found turned out to be Zaunite, so is actually experienced with the breathing problems that affect us. Difficult appointment. Still no official prognosis because too early but she thinks this is probably the start of a slow but irreversible decline. Believes I have a couple of years until it gets so bad I can’t work. Hard to look Jayce in the eye after we left. Almost told him to take the ring back but I know that would only upset him more. He would refuse anyway. I hope he would refuse, and what does that make me?

~

Woke up to a note that Jayce had gone to the lab. Found him there with my half-finished stasis device plans – alongside a finished design he did in one night. Fucking genius - I think he cracked it!!! If we can build it then it should be able to contain and sustain what would essentially be a wild rune complex synthesised from a crystal, without impeding energy or potential function. Would be unprecedented. Obvious that he’s hoping we can somehow use it to help me, and with how magically powerful this thing could be… he might be right. Risky, will not pass approval. Jayce said he has no intention of submitting it for approval. Never seen him like this before. Probably bad that I like it so much.

Viktor lowers the journal, staring wide-eyed at the opposite wall. The stasis device. That goddamn stasis device took two years for Viktor to painstakingly design, build and perfect. It was the key to creating the Hexcore. And he kept it mostly away from Jayce until it was complete, because things were so tense and awkward between them in the year or so after Viktor broke things off.

Of course. Of course Jayce was the answer the whole time. He was always better at the machines and devices, at designing and making things, at understanding runes as physical building blocks rather than parts of an equation. What took Viktor weeks and months, he was able to achieve in one night. Incredible, but that was Jayce. That was both of them; Viktor did the same when they first met, saw right through to the heart of Jayce’s issue with accessing the power within the crystals. It was why they always complemented each other so well, made such a good team. They saw each other’s visions better than they saw their own.

“Found some ripe berries a bit further along the lake shore! I promise they’re edible, the Kirammans had a huge thatch of these I used to pick with Caitlyn.”

Viktor looks up as Jayce comes through the door, dressed in his original clothes but without the bulky outer layer. His mended brace is no longer creaking as much and it seems to be helping him enormously, since he barely limps as he walks. He’s holding out a handful of dark purple fruit, beaming.

“Jayce,” says Viktor seriously, “you are the smartest person I have ever met.”

Jayce blinks and then gives a pleased smile, cocking his head and scratching at his neck. “Oh, yeah? Why do you call me idiot so often, then?”

His impression of Viktor’s accent is, as always, terrible. Viktor gets to his feet and walks up to Jayce, taking his face firmly between his hands. “Think of it as a term of endearment. Because as well as being the smartest person I know, you are also the most wonderful, má lásko.”

He gives Jayce a fierce little shake as he speaks, feeling the cheeks under his palms turn hot. Jayce grips his wrist loosely with his free hand, thumb stroking. His eyes are very round.

“I- I didn’t know you liked berries this much?”

“Idiot lásko.” Viktor says fondly. He pulls him down and kisses him briefly, then lets go and takes half the berries from his hand, popping one into his mouth. He pulls a face at the tart taste. “I don’t like berries very much, to be honest, but I’m starving. I’m going to make more of that terrible mush you cooked last night.”

He does exactly that, sending a mildly confused Jayce off with a bowl for more berries, setting water on the stove to heat up. He sits down to read more as he waits, finishing the fourth year’s journal in just a few entries: Viktor tying Jayce’s ring to Blitz’s collar and Jayce having to chase the poor dog all over the apartment to get it off; the little engagement party they threw with Ximena, Mel and Caitlyn attending; the Council approving a renewed twelve-month contract and guaranteed funding to keep rolling out improvements on the Hexgate.

He opens the fifth notebook and reads on, amazement and chagrin and sadness filling him at how much faster the Hexcore project progresses with Jayce’s partnership and input. After a month, a finished prototype for the stasis device. After two months, all the necessary testing done to make a better version. After just three months, a working device capable of stabilising and sustaining a volatile rune complex, allowing it to develop into… ‘something new’, is all the journal can speculate, but Viktor knows. He exhales unsteadily, realising that at the rate they’re going, the alternate timeline could have a fully realised Hexcore in little over six months. Years ahead of how long it took Viktor by himself.

The grain is cooked, so he carefully drains it and serves it before calling Jayce down from where he stands on the crest of the hill, staring towards Piltover and Zaun. Viktor catches him up as they eat, trying to keep to the main details, then picks up the journal to resume reading aloud:

Glad spring is here, leg always flares up less in warmer weather. Latest version of back brace is a big improvement. Worried that Jayce takes on too much with all he does for me, plus the pressure from the Council to be their ‘man of progress’ or whatever they want to call him on the posters. Can tell Jayce is torn – doesn’t wish to let anyone down and god knows he is NOT immune to ego, but he wants to keep his focus on the wild rune project. I’ve enlisted Mel to kidnap him from the lab for the day and help him relax – her methods seem effective!

~

Jayce wants to show Heimerdinger the wild rune project. He trusts that he’ll see the potential but I would rather wait until we have something more developed. Jayce doesn’t even want to show Mel this project – usually he tells her just about everything – but for some reason he wants Heimerdinger’s approval? Frustrating.

~

Had another poor breathing spell. Coughing and wheezing last two days, couldn’t go into lab today. Hate seeing Jayce so scared. Hate feeling so scared. Distracting him (and myself) with wedding talk – planning for summertime, a simple private outdoor ceremony. Only upside of being unwell is that Jayce has decided not to show Heimerdinger the stasis device. Not worth the risk of it getting shut down.

~

Whatever is developing around the crystal within the stasis device is nothing we’ve ever seen before. Wasn’t sure we’d be able to synthesise a rune complex that mimics a wild rune this well but it’s looking like we did! Even more incredible, it seems potentially capable of redesigning itself – proactive, not just reactive!!! Slow process but we’re adding a different rune at a time and observing closely. First five runes results compared in following table…

~

Breathing back to normal (not great, but not notably bad). Feeling tired all the time, less appetite. Jayce (with help from Ximena) keeping me well fed though. Not sure how I would be coping without him. Glad I don’t have to find out. Council annoyed that not much is getting done to make Hexgate technology more efficient and powerful. Jayce and I dedicated all of yesterday afternoon to drawing up a design for power boosters in the failsafe. Hope that satisfies because neither of us are interested in much besides the wild rune project. 

“OK,” says Jayce, and Viktor lowers the journal, peering at him. He’s frowning at nothing, deep in thought. “So obviously they’re going to have a Hexcore way, way sooner than we did. Well… you did. And obviously it’s already occurred to them, like it did to you, that the Hexcore could save your life.”

Viktor nods slowly. “It seems so.”

“This must be why you – not you, him, the other you, but your body – are fully yourself. Why you’re connected, but not controlled. Because the other us had time to actually… figure it out properly, together, instead of rushing and panicking.”

“I… you’re probably right, yes, but…” Viktor exhales, running a hand back through his hair, bunching it loosely to keep it out of his face while he thinks. “We just… don’t actually know for sure how much control I have. I don’t trust anything to do with the Hexcore.”

“You think the Hexcore has… what, an agenda?”

“Well, no… maybe? I don’t know, I understand so little about it even after everything…”

“Vik,” Jayce says softly, “if you want to understand more about how this body you’re in relates to the Hexcore’s power, we do have a proven method of connecting you with it. If you want.”

Viktor blinks and then swallows, caught on Jayce’s open and earnest gaze. Jayce seems to be suggesting they conduct the… research they discussed.

“You mean… now?”

Jayce shrugs, smiling slightly. He doesn’t seem nearly as flustered as Viktor feels. “If you’d like.”

Viktor is quite suddenly sure he would, in fact, like. Slowly, ignoring the growing heat in his face, Viktor nods. “Alright. But you- you just- if you feel anything start to affect you, don’t let it take hold.”

Jayce dips his head, expression serious. “Three taps, right? I promise.”

“Three taps,” repeats Viktor firmly, then breaks into a slightly bemused smile. “Right, then. How, uh… how do you want to do this?”

“You mean, how do I want to start our glorious new era of Sextech?” Jayce grins, ignoring Viktor’s scowl and eye roll. “Hmm… well, come here, to start with.”

Viktor presses his lips together, trying to keep a straight face as Jayce catches hold of his hand and tugs him closer, but it’s a losing battle, especially when Jayce kisses said hand on the knuckles.

“Gentlemanly,” Viktor observes dryly, and Jayce gives a modest half-shrug, leaning closer, eyes on Viktor’s mouth.

“Sometimes,” he murmurs, then kisses him, hand cupping his neck, fingers weaving through his hair. Viktor melts into it, barely aware that Jayce is pushing him back until his elbows hit the bedroll behind him. He makes a small noise, tipping his head back when Jayce mouths down his jaw and throat, head pleasantly foggy.

“Ah…” Viktor gasps softly as Jayce’s teeth graze his pulse point, arms giving out and back hitting the bedroll. Making a pleased sound, Jayce settles some of his weight atop him and pushes his un-braced knee between Viktor’s thighs.

“Jayce,” Viktor whispers, even as he slips his hands under Jayce’s shirt and presses his thigh up against where he can feel his lover’s body reacting, “your injured knee…”

Jayce hums vaguely, busy sucking a mark into Viktor’s neck, but a moment later he shifts and moves as if to grind their hips together-

“Ah, shit-” he hisses. Viktor rolls his eyes where Jayce can’t see. “OK, good point…”

“Říkal jsem ti to,” Viktor mutters as Jayce props himself up with a pained expression, cheeks pink.

“Wait, what does that mean?” Jayce asks, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Viktor smiles and pats his cheek fondly.

“Nothing. Maybe we should rearrange, lásko.”

Jayce is already flushed, but his cheeks colour even darker, pupils dilating, lips parting on a quick inhale. Viktor raises his eyebrows.

“You still like it that much when I call you that?”

“Hear you calling me that in my dreams,” Jayce breathes. He cups Viktor’s face and kisses him with unexpected passion; Viktor responds for probably too long before remembering that they were supposed to move. He exclaims into Jayce’s mouth, pushing at his shoulders. Between kisses, a little clumsy, they roll and shift until Jayce is on his back, breathing heavily. He needs no prompting to pull his shirt off, torso stretching and flexing under Viktor’s avid gaze.

Viktor hurriedly shucks his own shirt off and leans over Jayce, drinking in the sight of him, running a worshipful touch from his throat down his chest and stomach. It takes a minute to get the leg brace off, but they’re both accustomed to the process, as well as moving on smoothly from the interruption. Jayce lifts his hips obediently at a touch, allowing Viktor to tug his remaining clothing off until he’s completely bare. Viktor trails his fingertips lightly up Jayce’s inner thigh, teasing a little, loving the way Jayce arches up and looks desperate for it, panting.

“Please,” breathes Jayce, and Viktor smiles. It’s never taken much to get Jayce Talis begging. He acquiesces, though, leaning down to trail leisurely kisses from his jaw down to his abdomen, until he’s nosing his way down the faint dusting of dark hair below Jayce’s belly button. Viktor exhales over Jayce’s cock, pausing… but then turns his head, mouthing instead at his thigh.

“Vik, please…”

“Sshh, you’re doing so well,” Viktor soothes, before sinking his teeth into the soft flesh, hearing Jayce groan deeply, feeling his fingers tangle in his hair; useful, because without Jayce holding it back it would be getting annoyingly in the way. He gives a prim little kitten-lick over the mark he’s made and pulls back, pleased to see Jayce is leaking already. “Remember when you came just from me doing that?”

“Yes. You laughed.” Jayce’s reproachful tone sounds muffled; Viktor glances up to see he has an arm flung over his face, chest heaving. Viktor makes an extremely insincere sympathetic sound and leans over to do the same to the other thigh, light-headed with satisfaction when Jayce moans and shakes under him.

He can tell, when he finally draws Jayce into his mouth, that it won’t take long at all. Jayce is whining on every breath, rolling his hips up. Viktor used to have to balance and strategically place pillows and adjust himself every few minutes to do this, but he finds his kneeling ability much improved. He eagerly takes advantage.

Remembering that Jayce typically likes to be finished by hand, Viktor moves up his body and kisses him as he strokes him over the edge, murmuring praise into his mouth. He’s pretty sure it’s the praise that does it. Jayce has always been beautifully susceptible to it. Afterwards, Viktor lies alongside Jayce, arm over his middle, watching him catch his breath and come back to himself.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Viktor mumbles, pressing a kiss to Jayce’s shoulder. “How did you get more gorgeous?”

Jayce rolls his head to beam at Viktor, capturing his hand and bringing it up to his mouth once more. “Could say the same about you.”

Viktor raises an eyebrow. “Oh? You like this form. Is it the beard or the older man thing?”

Jayce rolls towards him, running a fingertip down his side. “I like every form you’ve had.”

“Every form?” scoffs Viktor. Jayce holds his gaze and nods. Viktor pauses. “Even that last one? When I was all… spindly, with the split-open face and the claw thing?”

“Honestly? Yeah, it kind of worked for me,” Jayce says, eyes sparkling with his smile. Viktor shakes his head slowly.

“Jayce Talis, you freak.”

“Aww, come on, Vik,” Jayce laughs, ducking in to kiss his jaw, “it’s not my fault you’re so sexy all the time.”

Viktor snorts into his hair. He hums happily at Jayce’s calloused touch running over his hips and waist, making a rough, wordless noise as that touch creeps down his stomach and slides inside his loose-fitting trousers.

“Want you to fuck me,” Jayce breathes against Viktor’s lips, right as he wraps his fingers around him. It’s calculated, and very effective; Viktor moans involuntarily, bucking a little into Jayce’s touch, kissing him hungrily. Common sense, though, is quick to catch up. He breaks away, breathing heavily and frowning.

“With what lubricant?”

He’s expecting Jayce’s face to fall, but instead he gets a nod towards the shelves across the hut. “There’s a tub up there. Unopened.”

Viktor’s jaw drops. “Are you serious?”

He’s already getting to his feet, not quite stumbling across the small space. Behind him, Jayce is snickering.

“It’s literally the same make we used to use! I thought you’d have spotted it. Seems like the other you really did set things up for us, right?”

“He… was a genius,” Viktor says fervently, picking up the little tub with reverence and returning to Jayce, who reclines with a somewhat smug smile as Viktor settles back down between his knees. He looks incredibly pleased with himself as Viktor impatiently pushes his uninjured knee up and to the side. Viktor leans forward over him, ignoring how his weaker side aches and trembles. He’s far too preoccupied running a slick finger across Jayce’s entrance, watching his smile turn to breathless, low-lidded anticipation.

“Viktor,” exhales Jayce, lashes fluttering and chin tipping back as he’s breached.

“Beautiful,” whispers Viktor, dropping down to ghost his lips across Jayce’s chest. He takes advantage of how Jayce shudders and whimpers at the praise, pushing in a second finger and curling them up, dragging, searching-

“Oh, fuck, fuck-” Jayce moans, arching up, fists clenched above his head. He’s always kept his hands to himself when Viktor opens him up, even if they’re not tied. Obedient.

“Good boy,” Viktor breathes, kissing his way up the long, pretty line of his throat. Jayce keens, hips rolling, working himself on Viktor’s fingers. Viktor feels drunk. He fucks Jayce like that until he’s gotten him hard again, until they’re both panting and shining with sweat, and then he withdraws his hand and urges Jayce onto his side, settling close behind him. It’s muscle memory; it’s how they used to do this, most of the time, back when they still touched one another the way they both wanted to.

It’s a blur. Viktor feels dizzy and dream-like, babbling praise and filth in two languages in Jayce’s ear, slicking himself up, lifting Jayce’s topmost thigh, gasping gratefully as he buries himself inside. Jayce arches and pleads and gives a gorgeous little sob every time Viktor fills him up. He’s perfect. He always was.

“Jayce,” Viktor groans, nuzzling into Jayce’s damp skin, breathing him in, picking up speed, losing himself in the pleasure and the emotional high. He thrusts harder, wild and frantic, biting, nails digging in. “I- I love you, I-”

Jayce spasms with a ragged cry, grinding back and finally touching himself. It keeps building, faster, hotter, closer-

It’s right on the cusp that Viktor remembers. He gasps, opens his eyes. He’s already glowing, faint dappled light under his skin all over, brighter gold gleaming from the parts of him altered by the Hexcore. He teeters for a moment, distracted and dizzy though the haze of pleasure, but then Jayce moans and Viktor hitches forward without meaning to and-

“Fuck,” Jayce rasps, seizing up, and all Viktor can do is shut his eyes involuntarily and muffle himself against Jayce’s shoulder. He’s never tried to think through an orgasm before. It’s… not really possible, honestly. Even as the intense sensation begins to ebb, though, he feels it.

Power.

He grits his teeth against the siren song, head swimming.

But it feels so right. Viktor can’t recall, suddenly, why he was scared. He exhales, lashes fluttering as he sinks into it, as he pulls Jayce closer, settles back into the feeling of connection, the feeling of being strong and beautiful and more, more than he ever-

A short, weak pressure on his forearm. Barely a distraction, but then another. Then… another.

Three taps.

Chapter Text

“Vik, please, I swear it was barely anything! I was just being cautious.”

Viktor flinches at the touch on his arm, wide gaze darting to Jayce. He meets beseeching eyes under turned-up brows; his own forehead furrows.

“You said you felt it take hold of you,” Viktor replies sharply, shoulders tense, breathing quick and shallow, arms wrapped around his knees. He’s still naked, skin cool with drying sweat, hands tacky with leftover lubricant, but he barely notices. The fear is too fresh in his mind, still pulsing through his veins. Burned across his vision, looping in his thoughts, is the image of Jayce with eyes aglow, tendrils of light wrapping around him, fusing to him…

Jayce sighs. “I… I don’t know. Yeah, I guess? It felt like I was being… pulled? Called?”

He touches the fingerprint marks on his forehead absently, eyes unfocusing, a vague and bemused smile on his lips. “It felt like… connection.”

Jayce looks at him then, and his expression goes worried at whatever he sees on Viktor’s face. He shifts closer, taking his hand and squeezing it with an encouraging smile. “Look, the main thing is that we know the signal works, right?”

Viktor presses his lips together doubtfully. “Yes, but the fact that you even had to use it…”

“I was just trying to be safe!” Jayce insists, thumb stroking at Viktor’s knuckles. Despite the frightened, rabbit-like feeling still lodged in Viktor’s chest, the instinct to pull back and protect Jayce from danger, from himself… the touch is soothing. “It didn’t actually feel bad. I mean… did it feel good for you?”

“That’s irrelevant, Jayce!”

“I don’t think it is.”

Viktor huffs in frustration, but he does unfold a little, twisting to face his partner, taking both his hands. He tugs them onto his lap, staring down at them as he tries to gather his thoughts and think rationally past the fear. “I just… I do not know what would happen if we didn’t separate. I mean, possibly nothing would happen, but… what if it controls you? Turns you into one of those puppets? Kurva, Jayce, what if it… what if I…”

“Hey, it’s OK,” Jayce soothes, drawing Viktor into his arms; he goes stiffly, but willingly. “None of that happened. You kept me safe. You know I trust you, right?”

“I don’t understand why,” Viktor mumbles, turning his face to hide it against Jayce’s shoulder. It’s getting easier to breathe normally, the adrenaline and panic fading. “What evidence do we have that I have any control over this arcane connection?”

“The fact that I told you to stop, and you listened,” Jayce responds as though it’s obvious, which… OK, maybe it is obvious once Viktor peers past the self-loathing and guilt of posing any potential danger to Jayce at all. “I get that you’re worried about the connection harming me, or taking over in some way, but honestly… it doesn’t feel dangerous. Can you try to see this as a success? I mean. we learned from this, and the signal worked great.”

Viktor sinks into Jayce’s warmth, exhaling as the tension seeps out of him. He tries to look at the situation scientifically, as though it’s an actual experiment, and he does immediately find it comforting. “Perhaps it is… possible that I… allowed fear to cloud my mind.”

“I get that,” Jayce says softly, squeezing him. “For now, though… probably should wash up and record results?”

“Oh, right,” huffs Viktor, rolling his eyes, “because this was purely for research.”

Jayce snorts into his hair and presses a kiss there, then gets up and limps carefully over to the shelves to pick up a notepad and pencil. They go down to the lake, both in need of washing. It’s a warm afternoon and was getting uncomfortably hot in the hut even without all the sweaty exertion. Viktor brings the journals and their clothes, Jayce carrying his leg brace, leaning on the staff to get down the hill.

When they’re done in the water, they dress and Jayce leads Viktor along the shore a little way, to where the large and tangled mass of berry bushes is. They sit in the shade and eat some of the riper fruits while Jayce flips open the notepad.

“Sex- tech- jour- nal…” he says out loud as he writes on the first page. Viktor shoves him in the shoulder and calls him an idiot. “What? It’s what it’s called! OK, entry one: description of experiment-”

“Oh, god-”

“- and hypothesis,” Jayce continues louder, ignoring Viktor. “Hmm. Experiment entailed engaging in coitus-”

Viktor makes a disgusted noise and throws a berry at the side of Jayce’s head, earning a laugh. “OK, OK… experiment was to see if Viktor would experience a link to arcane magic – possibly the Hexcore – during sex, as we have observed once before. Hypothesis: that said link would occur and Viktor would break the link.”

“That I would be able to break it,” corrects Viktor. Jayce nods and scribbles it in the notebook. “Well, results were… I suppose… as hypothesised? But note that breaking the connection did require intervention, so there is a risk factor.”

“Got it,” Jayce says, scribbling some more and underlining enthusiastically. Viktor smiles fondly. Jayce has always had a habit of underlining every second or third thing he writes in his notes, for emphasis. “So… next step?”

“Sadly,” Viktor says seriously, in the tone one might use for a solemn disappointment, “it might have to involve more coitus.”

Jayce throws the notebook at him, then several berries for good measure. It feels strange to laugh so much, more than he has in… well, maybe years. Certainly at least seven or eight months, since back when he and Jayce were still lab partners. They always made each other laugh in the lab, even after they ended their romantic relationship. Viktor has missed it. He’s missed Jayce, so much.

They end up with Jayce’s head resting on Viktor’s lap, examining the tattoos on Viktor’s free hand as he listens to more of the journal being read out. It’s mostly concerned with describing the rapidly progressing Hexcore project, but a bit over halfway through the year, the other Viktor dedicates a rather lengthy entry to his and Jayce’s quiet little wedding ceremony:

It’s a cliché, but yesterday was perfect. Even the back pain couldn’t ruin it (extra strength painkillers probably helped). Just a simple Zaunite handfasting, with a Piltover celebrant to make it legally binding. Caitlyn insisted we use her and Jayce’s favourite spot on her family’s grounds – a beautiful stone pavilion covered in creeping berry vines. She decorated with rugs, chairs, candles etc. Very kind considering how blunt I’ve been with her lately about her career choice. Mel was surprisingly sweet with Ximena, who didn’t stop crying the entire time. Heimerdinger tried to make a speech BEFORE the ceremony?? I think he was just very keen to make his ‘marriage of minds’ joke. Ximena brought along enough food for a dozen people, of course. All delicious and she did a lovely job replicating some Zaunite dishes. Surreal, surreal day. I have a husband? I AM a husband???

Viktor peers past the notebook as he finishes reading, checking surreptitiously on Jayce, whose head is turned as he stares out across the lake. He has tears in his eyes, but he looks calm. Hesitantly, Viktor lays down the journal and brushes Jayce’s hair off his brow, catching his gaze as he looks up.

“Are you alright?” Viktor murmurs. Jayce smiles a little unsteadily, reaching up and cupping Viktor’s cheek, his palm broad and warm. Viktor leans his face into it.

“I’ll be fine,” Jayce says softly. “It’s just… a lot to miss out on. Is it stupid, to grieve that life? It’s not even us, but…”

“But it could have been,” Viktor whispers, blinking back the sting in his own eyes. “It’s not stupid, má lásko. And you are not grieving alone.”

Jayce closes his eyes, swallowing harshly. There’s silence for several seconds, then: “I’m just grateful I’m not grieving you.”

Viktor is glad Jayce’s eyes are still closed, because he feels his face crumple slightly at that. He’s pulled himself together, though, when Jayce drags in a breath and opens his eyes to speak again.

“Do you want to read any more? I wish I could read some instead, give you a break, but you know I only speak about five words-”

“All swear words,” snorts Viktor.

“Ne!” protests Jayce, eyes crinkling. He thinks for a moment, then triumphantly says: “Day-kooey.”

“Děkuji,” corrects Viktor, smiling, picking up the journal. “Hush, no more butchering.”

“I would have learned more if you weren’t so mean about my pronunciation-”

“Hush,” insists Viktor, re-finding his page. He reads a couple more months of entries. They both laugh over Mel’s frustration at Viktor and Jayce’s refusal to leave the lab unattended to go on the weekend away she tries to gift them as a honeymoon, as well as Viktor’s insistence that she whisk Jayce off to the mountain retreat herself if it’s so wonderful (she does just that). There are more breakthroughs with the Hexcore, more hassle from the Council, media buzz around their marriage, pressure to present themselves at public events as a couple…

Viktor goes quite suddenly still as his eyes land on the entry recounting the celebrations to mark four years of Hextech. Swallowing, he reads it in a quiet voice:

Ran into none other than Sky Young at the party last night! Made an otherwise tiring evening somewhat pleasant. Haven’t seen her since we were teenagers, before I left home. Recently finished her postgrad and looking for a position in a lab. Feels like fate! Jayce and I under so much pressure to deliver on Hexgate upgrades, especially with contract renewal coming up. He agrees that it’s time we got some help in. Hoping she takes the job.

He gives a sigh after he finishes reading. Jayce is quiet, his eyes downcast, his expression morose. It’s exactly how they recruited Sky in their own timeline, except it was Jayce who befriended her at the Hextech anniversary party; Viktor wasn’t there, was no longer attending those events no matter how often Jayce reminded him he had a right to be there. It was Jayce mentioning Viktor that got Sky to admit she knew him from the Undercity. Jayce, delighted, invited Sky to visit the lab the following week and say hello to Viktor, which led to her taking the job as their assistant, which led to… well. Nothing good, in the end, for her.

“It must have been horrible,” Jayce says in a small voice. Viktor meets his eyes. “To see it happen. To her, especially. Sky was… she was one of the sweetest people I ever knew.”

Viktor smiles sadly. “She was. I sort of… kept her with me, you know. Well, it might have been her, or the ghost of her, or maybe just my own memories. But she was there. Through nearly all of it.”

Jayce’s brow furrows. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Neither do I,” Viktor sighs. “It all seemed so clear at the time. Now, it just seems insane. Maybe I was.”

To his credit, Jayce doesn’t try to spare Viktor’s feelings by denying it. He lets out a breath and looks out at the low, orange-hued sun inching towards the horizon. “Do you want a break?”

“I can read a little more. Unless you need a break?”

Jayce shakes his head, closing his eyes, and Viktor delves back in. The rest of that year’s journal is mostly short entries: worsening back problems leading to a consultation with a surgeon, trying to keep Sky off the Hexcore project without making her suspicious, dealing with another anxiety-inducing coughing and wheezing episode, having some snide article published about how Viktor is ‘holding back’ the Man of Progress and has tricked him into marriage for tax reasons. That last entry includes a comical description of Jayce pacing and ranting madly while Mel and Viktor read the article out loud to each other in fits of laughter. It makes what could have been a distressing situation sound sort of… fun. Viktor is starting to miss the friendship with Mel he never had.

All of that is wiped from his mind, however, only a month into the next journal. He reaches a series of entries in increasingly messy handwriting:

Frustrated with the Hexcore (new name for the crystal and rune complex in the stasis device). Responds to stimuli, regenerates itself, grows and responds almost like a living thing… yet it won’t interact with organic matter, which is the next step towards using it for healing. Jayce had a frankly bizarre suggestion that it needs to assimilate living matter to recognise and respond to it. Short of feeding it a live rat I’m not sure how we can achieve such a thing.

~

Feels like we’re verging on mad scientist territory here. Sky works one day a week in a different lab and she mentioned they’re euthanising a whole batch of test rats due to some disease outbreak. Jayce went and smuggled some of them out. Took some blood from one and dripped it into the Hexcore and… something happened??? It definitely responded to the blood. Observed for two hours to ensure no additional reactions, then brought blood donor rat over in small cage. Hexcore reacted strongly as soon as the rat was within three feet; some kind of arcane energy burst, reaching out. Rat died as soon as the energy touched it. Jayce thinks it died of fright and we should try again with a healthier subject. I hope he’s right, because if the Hexcore can kill then we might be playing with something incredibly dangerous.

~

Not sure what to put here. Last few days have been insane. Hoping if I write it all out I can process it better:

Three days ago – interrupted by Heimerdinger right after the second rat experiment ended with another death. Demanded to know what the Hexcore was and Jayce blurted out everything. Disaster. Heimerdinger told us to shut it down, Jayce refused. Heimerdinger stormed out. Realised we had to act fast. Never tried to transport Hexcore before but the stasis device held; somehow got it out and into a carriage. Jayce stayed behind to try to appeal to Council. Knew our apartment wasn’t safe if Heimerdinger tried to seize everything. Snap decision, went to Mel’s.

Two days ago – Mel not happy but agreed to hide us. Council situation escalated fast. Heimerdinger painted us as dangerous and unethical. Part of me thinks he’s right, but I know he’s speaking from a place of fear. I’ve been declared a wanted man. Hexcore deemed an illegal experiment. Jayce spun a story about trying to stop me from going down a dark path – must have been good, Mel seemed impressed. They let him go on the condition that he find me and make me ‘see reason’.

One day ago – no other choice but to flee. Mel set us up in some old Zaunite warehouse she co-owns for ‘storage’. Decided not to ask. Air not too bad if you’re on the top floor and keep a fan running. Fucking cold! Jayce also declared wanted. Mel promised to get a message – and Blitz – to Ximena, and to brief Sky on what to say to Council. I tried to get Jayce to leave me here and go back to Piltover. Refused. Doesn’t feel like I could possibly deserve or repay this kind of loyalty but as Jayce reminds me, he made his vows and he meant them. It’s not enough to say I love him, but it’s all I can give him right now.

Today – exhausted and in pain but what can we do except keep going? Hexcore seems stable so stasis device did its job, thank god. Unsure how to progress. Just keep thinking about those dead rats. Was the Hexcore trying to kill them, or were they just not strong enough? Would I be strong enough??

Viktor feels out of breath when he stops reading, even though he’s read the whole thing at a normal speed. His heart is hammering, skin buzzing, like he’s sharing the adrenaline that his other self must have been running on.

Jayce has sat up, staring wide-eyed at Viktor in the gathering dusk.

“Well… kurva,” he says, or makes a recognisable attempt to say. Viktor nods dazedly in agreement. “I… wow.”

“Indeed,” Viktor murmurs, looking back down at the page. “I suppose… with you not on the Council, and with Heimerdinger’s fear of arcane magic… but to take it so far? And for you and I to become fugitives…”

“Yeah,” nods Jayce, “but still… it’s kind of amazing? I mean, they’re already pretty much at the point you were at when you started experimenting on yourself with the Hexcore… except they have time. Time to figure it out and make it safe for you.”

Viktor stares at him. “Yes, but… fugitives. In Zaun.”

“Well, they’re together,” Jayce shrugs. “It definitely could be worse. Sounds stressful, obviously, and the air would be bad for your breathing-”

“You would have done the same thing,” Viktor says softly, realisation pulsing through him. “If you hadn’t been in a position to oppose Heimerdinger, if we’d still been a couple… you would have run away with me without a second thought, wouldn’t you?”

Jayce gives him a strange, almost sad look. “Vik. I would have run away with you any time you asked, couple or not. You’re my best friend. Plus… yeah. In love with you.”

Viktor can only shake his head, throat thick, eyes welling. “I didn’t know. I thought it was just… pity and leftover affection, by the end. I was a bitter fool, I should have- I should have trusted you-”

“I put on a pretty good front,” sighs Jayce, opening his arms as Viktor moves toward him, wrapping him in a close hug. He speaks into his hair. “I didn’t want you to know. I should have trusted you, too.”

Viktor gives an ugly bark of laughter into Jayce’s shirt. “What a pair we make.”

Jayce huffs, warm and close. “Yeah.”

Viktor exhales unsteadily, turning his head to stare out across the twilit lake. There are stars coming out in the purple sky. It’s pretty and peaceful. Calming.

“Come on,” sighs Jayce after a minute or so of quiet, drawing back and pushing to his feet, careful putting weight on his braced leg. He holds out his hands and pulls Viktor up too. “Dinner time.”

They make their way back up to the hut and cook more of the bland grain mush, which Viktor is getting heartily sick of, despite his early childhood training to scarf down literally any food put in front of him whether he enjoys it or not. Even Jayce, who’s never been a fussy eater, pulls a face as he finishes his serve.

“Right,” says Viktor determinedly, opening the journal. “Let’s keep going.”

Jayce went and met his mother somewhere on the outskirts of Piltover – she’s distraught, wants us to give up the Hexcore and come home. Glad I wasn’t there because much as I love Ximena, she’s essentially asking me to just accept death. I’m not sure I can do that when there’s still a chance this could actually work. And if it can save me, how many others? I’m far from the only one afflicted because of Zaun’s poisonous air. I have to see this through.

~

Trialed some plants. The Hexcore never used to react much to plants but seems altered now. Forged some sort of link and made the plants grow… then mutate, then die. Still, it’s something. Heimerdinger released a press statement calling us ‘brilliant but misguided’. Suppose we should be glad he’s not trying to brand us evil maniacs; in most of the papers I’m the Zaunite villain of the piece and Jayce is the tragic victim of my manipulation. Predictable. Mel came to see us and warned that we need to stay ready to move at short notice. She’s trying to sow misdirection that we’ve left Piltover & Zaun altogether and travelled down the coast. Beyond grateful for her.

~

Dressed in five layers to stay warm. Search for us ongoing. Sky is apparently not allowed to access the lab while she’s under investigation. Hope they leave her alone quickly, since she truly knows very little about the Hexcore. Jayce getting a bit obsessive with Hexcore; I think he’s got it into his head that if we can prove it works safely, not only can we help me but we can convince Heimerdinger and the Council to take us back. Haven’t said this to him but I think they would take HIM back. Not me.

~

Plants keep dying no matter what rune configuration we use. Mel has used some connections that I doubt she wants us to know about to get us a space in an actual lab elsewhere in Zaun. Moving in a few days. Lab belongs to some chem-baron I’ve only heard of in passing, by the name of Silco.

“Silco…” Jayce repeats as Viktor falters on the name. “He’s the one I made that independence deal with. He controlled the shimmer trade. He controlled Jinx.”

Viktor’s eyes widen. “Singed. He worked with Singed, too.”

He and Jayce stare at each other for a moment, then Viktor inhales sharply and looks back down at the notebook. Whatever comes next, he has a feeling it’s not heading anywhere good.

Chapter Text

Exhausting couple of days. Turns out our new landlord Silco has none other than Singed in his employ, the creator of shimmer. Unclear if Singed remembers me from when I knew him briefly as a child, but I assume he does from the cryptic things he’s been saying. Silco only spoke to us briefly; obvious he has no idea what we’re really working on and thinks we’re going rogue with Hextech. Seems sharp though so I doubt he’ll stay in the dark for long. Just want to get the Hexcore working so we can actually use it before anything else happens.

~

Jayce starting to worry me. Keep trying to talk to him about everything that’s happened – is still happening – but he doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge it. In denial, still thinks he can fix it. Dreading the fallout when he processes that he can’t fix it. Not sure I’m very good at this marriage thing but trying my best for him.

~

Our lab area is small but still better than nothing. Walled off with flimsy screens and Singed is often working right next door, although thankfully he’s not here all the time and does most of his shimmer development at his own lab. Trying not to think about what he might be making for Silco. Hate to admit it but I wish we didn’t have to be in Zaun at all. So many bad memories here. Some good ones too but there’s just so much suffering everywhere you look, and it feels like we’re complicit now even if we’re not directly involved in shimmer production. Jayce and I sleeping on a pallet bed in the lab, agreed that one of us must be here at all times. Hell on my back. Miss our bed at home. Hexcore still the same, kills rats and plants alike.

~

Singed finally dropped his pretenses and admitted he remembers me. Came into lab uninvited while Jayce was off showering. I covered up the Hexcore but he’s clearly been spying enough to know that we’re trying to get it to interact with living things. Made a suggestion that I know Jayce is not going to like – I don’t much like it either. Says he’s developed a concentrated form of shimmer that can fortify a person to withstand things that might normally kill them. Suggested we try dosing a subject with it before exposure to Hexcore. Got him to leave by saying I’d consider it. Not sure I was lying.

~

Still arguing with Jayce about shimmer issue. He makes some good points but in the end we’re in uncharted waters here. We can’t follow rules when there are none. Had another interesting visitor. One of Silco’s dubious employees, although it seems like she might be more like an adopted daughter. Scrap of a girl called Jinx – hope she’s older than she looks. Bright but erratic. Said she’d heard the Hextech inventors were onsite and that she’s always been an admirer. Wanted to see what we were working on but obviously we covered it all up. Jayce seemed charmed by her, says she reminds him of Caitlyn. I think he’s missing home more than he wants to admit.

~

Shimmer worked !!!! Maybe. Exposed a shimmer-dosed rat to the Hexcore after dripping in some of the animal’s blood. It didn’t die but instead became encased in some kind of magic-infused cocoon that attaches to the Hexcore, like a growth on the stasis device. Grotesque but fascinating. Keeping it under close observation but there is a detectable heartbeat. No idea if or when the rat will emerge, or what it will be when it does. Jayce seems to be hitting a slump but we finally talked properly and he admitted he’s scared. Of course he is. I am too. But what’s important is that we’re together.

Viktor pauses in his reading aloud, smiling sadly. “He sounds like you.”

“The other me?”

“No. The other me. I think you are a good influence.”

Jayce shifts closer, putting his arms around him and kissing his temple. His voice is soft when he speaks: “I think we’re a good influence on each other.”

Viktor huffs and shakes his head, but he leans into Jayce’s warmth. “This lab situation sounds… uncomfortable. And having to live there…”

“I mean, we basically lived at the lab sometimes. You did, for a whole week, after…”

He trails off, but Viktor remembers. He remembers, all too well, walking out of the apartment that he’d shared with Jayce when he ended things. He remembers wandering as though lost through the city streets, suitcase in hand, and realising with some despair that he had literally no one to go and stay with. So, he went to the lab. Curled up on the tattered old couch they had in there, under the blanket that smelled like Jayce, and sobbed like he hadn’t done since his Táta died, until he was exhausted enough to sleep.

Jayce didn’t come into the lab for almost a week, but when he did, he was horrified to realise that Viktor was living there. He insisted, somewhat angrily, that Viktor have the apartment. He moved back in with Ximena that very day and dropped the keys to Viktor without speaking another word. Viktor returned that night to an empty shell of the home they’d shared, and cried himself to sleep for the second time in a week, hollowed out by regret and self-loathing.

“I recall, yes,” Viktor mutters, shuddering a little at the memory, huddling closer into the safe harbour of Jayce’s arms. “I… well. Anyway. This breakthrough with the rat… it sounds like what happened to me, no? Fusing with the Hexcore?”

“It does.” Viktor feels Jayce nod, beard catching on hair. “I don’t know how the Hexcore would affect a rat, though…”

“Nor do I...”

He shifts in Jayce’s hold, eyes on the journal in his hands. Jayce huffs a soft laugh. “Go on, then. Let’s find out.”

Viktor smiles, glad that they’re both equally fascinated. He reads through another two months of entries, which tell of the rat’s emergence from the cocoon after several days, its patchy fur and strange purple-hued metallic skin, its oddly calm and watchful demeanour. The other Viktor’s descriptions are murky with unease, despite his cautious happiness that the rat is still alive days and weeks later. The rat doesn’t seem to even need to eat, the journal entries observe with horrified wonder. It seems sustained by arcane magic, even when kept separate from the Hexcore. The journal describes, though, how the Hexcore becomes more active when the rat is near, how it sends out tendrils of light to connect with the rat when it’s close enough, how the rat’s eyes glow with that same light and it rises into the air…

Continues to be an alarming spectacle whenever the Hexcore links with the subject. The rat seems unharmed afterwards, but can it even still be called a rat? Sometimes I look at it and all I see is Rio, that poor tortured creature that Singed experimented on. Sometimes Singed comes to the door and stares at me and it feels like a mirror. I fear I’m losing my mind a little, stuck here every day watching this thing we’ve created continue to exist without explanation. My back pain is constant and I can barely straighten up anymore. Coughing every day; the air down here is awful for my lungs. Sometimes there’s a little blood. Jayce has retreated back into obsession with the project, but Mel came to visit yesterday with a letter from Ximena and he ended up crying in her arms like a child. I feel horrible, but he won’t leave my side even when I outright tell him to. It’s wrong, how glad I am of that.

~

The shimmer-injected plants we’ve exposed to the Hexcore are thriving, the rat continues to survive, so time for the next step. Jayce and I agreed that the transformation the rat has undergone is not an optimal result – understatement – but more importantly is not proof of healing, since the rat did not have a terminal illness. While we were discussing this Jinx literally dropped from the rafters??? Announced that she had a dying kitten to volunteer for ‘the process’. Showed her the rat as a warning but she called it ‘cute’. Very odd girl. We agreed – why not at this point? Kitten survived process and is currently in cocoon. Jinx seems thrilled. Calls us ‘Uncle V and Uncle J’. Jayce visibly touched by this but I’m just trying not to think about how often she’s spied on us before.

~

Kitten – Jinx calls it Sharkie – has emerged. No more laboured breathing, is able to stand and walk about – previous to Hexcore treatment, was wheezing for breath and could barely move. Is not exhibiting a lot of kitten behaviours but seems to recognise Jinx a little. Jayce is elated. Good to see him smiling more. He’s grown a beard and stopped cutting his hair. Of course it looks incredible on him – would almost be annoying except that’s my husband? That’s MY ridiculously handsome genius husband??? Bizarre. Still have a lot of work to do on the Hexcore but starting to feel hopeful again.

~

Now that we know the Hexcore can heal, time to see if we can make the process more sophisticated and controlled. Want to see if we can localise the effects. Starting with plant trials. Using a new prototype Singed has been developing – shimmer paint. Designed to permeate the skin and only spread a small way, for pain relief and/or pleasure, with minimal effects on the mind. Jayce and I tested some small amounts. Works well for both… will be keeping some of it aside for private use!

“Private use?” repeats Jayce, voice rich with laughter. Viktor reaches back blindly where he lounges in Jayce’s arms and whacks him with the notebook in teasing reprimand, although he’s grinning too.

“He could mean just for the pain relief!” Viktor protests, sitting up and turning to Jayce, who smirks and raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, yeah, I’m sure,” he says mockingly. “Yeah, it probably has nothing to do with his… what was it, sorry? His ‘ridiculously handsome genius husband’-”

“Zatraceně,” Viktor groans, covering his face, which is warming rapidly, “I should have translated that differently. This is why journals are private-”

“No, no,” Jayce laughs, leaning forward on one hand and prying Viktor’s wrist away with the other, “I think you translated it perfectly.”

He’s still smiling as he kisses Viktor, cupping his face gently, and Viktor could never be expected to resist such sweetness; not when he craves it so much, has spent so many years denying himself. The notebook slips from his fingers, momentarily forgotten as he tugs Jayce closer and sinks back, the kiss never breaking. He’s pliant as Jayce settles atop him, lips parting on a sigh, floating on luxurious sensation, dizzy with relief that he gets to touch, touch, touch-

It's not exactly comfortable or dignified, rutting and grinding and kissing messily with their clothes still mostly on, slightly awkward angles to accommodate neither of them being able to put full weight on one side, but Viktor thinks – as much as he’s able to coherently think – that if Jayce just keeps moving his hips like that-

“Wait,” he gasps, breaking away, holding Jayce’s face in both hands to make some distance between them, “we can’t- we need these clothes, we only have one other set-”

Jayce’s eyes widen. “Shit, shit, you’re right-”

They work together to get Jayce’s leg brace undone and then separately scramble to pull their clothes off, rushed and clumsy. Viktor manages it first; he looks up right as Jayce rolls onto his back, swearing as he tries to untangle his legs from the material caught around them. He’s very conspicuously still aroused, despite his red-faced frustrated scowl.

“Could you- fucking hell- Vik, could you help, because- no, stop laughing-”

Viktor only laughs harder; Jayce gives up and covers his face with both hands, groaning.

“Why?” comes his muffled but plaintive voice through his fingers. Taking pity, Viktor moves to tug the fabric off his legs, still grinning.

“It’s alright, má lásko,” he soothes, “you’re still a handsome genius, even when you look like an upended turtle.”

Jayce makes a miserable noise into his hands. “Not helping.”

“Hmm,” ponders Viktor, leaning over his lover, trailing a fingertip down his chest, “I wonder what would help? Maybe…”

His hand moves lower, and Jayce peers out from between his fingers, breath catching. Viktor smiles down at him, drops a kiss on his nose, and then goes and fetches the little jar from the shelf.

They go slow, building and passing pleasure between them; a relearning, deliberate and sensual and indulgent. It’s less frightening, this time, when Viktor glows with power as Jayce strokes them together and Viktor tips over the edge. He feels a little more prepared to be dwarfed by the magic of the arcane, better able to concentrate and pull back from it. Still, he’s grateful for the three taps on his arm, and for Jayce’s closely murmured reassurance as he catches his breath afterwards.

It’s late by the time they’ve gone for another night-time swim to clean off. They settle down on the bedroll, yawning, snuggling into each other’s arms.

“I was supposed to read more of those journals than I did today,” Viktor mumbles. “You distracted me. Twice.”

Jayce hums, sounding pleased. “Can’t say I’m very sorry about that.”

Viktor gives a soft huff of laughter. “Mmm, me neither. Tomorrow morning, then. I’ll start early.”

He dreams, a jumbled mess of Singed and Rio and his own distorted reflection. He dreams of twisted experiments that used to be innocent creatures and people, both from the journal and from his own memories, murky horrors made all the worse by his own hand in them.

He dreams of Jayce, teeth bared and eyes burning, taking aim at him-

He wakes with a whimper, heart thudding. It’s barely past dawn and Jayce is breathing slow and deep beside him, fast asleep. Viktor lays a hand on him, matches him breath for breath, and eventually his hand stops trembling.

With a slow inhale, he sits up and reaches for the notebook lying nearby. He has work to do.

He reads quickly through another couple of months’ worth, mostly talking about plant trials, but also mentioning the increasingly volatile state of Zaun as the shimmer addiction rates keep climbing. Caitlyn’s official first day on the job as an enforcer passes by too, reported to them in a letter from Mel along with the news that the Council has officially appointed Sky Young to take over work on the Hexgate, with Viktor and Jayce’s names removed from the project. The mood of the entries drops once more, but then suddenly perks up again when the next stage of localisation trials are mentioned:

Finally ready to try the localised effect out on an animal! No shortage of injured or sick stray animals in Zaun, sadly - I should know, as one of them. Jayce and Jinx went out together yesterday afternoon and came back with a little dog that can’t put weight on one of its paws. Jayce is doting on it; we both miss Blitz. Silco keeps hovering. He’s suspicious and protective, but Jinx keeps sticking up for us and it’s clear he’d do anything for her. Still waiting for him to decide he wants to get something more than rent out of us.

~

Success! Still in shock that this actually worked. We shimmer-painted the dog’s injured leg in transformative runes, painted the rest of the body in repelling runes, and injected the animal with a low dose of the fortifying shimmer. We had to tie the dog down and go very slowly to control the Hexcore’s connection, but it worked! The process only affected the injured leg. The dog is still getting used to moving around on all four limbs again but the injury seems fully healed, and the dog hasn’t otherwise been altered. Also doesn’t appear to connect with Hexcore even in proximity. Amazing!!!

~

Well, it’s happening as I always suspected it would. Silco has made it clear he expects access to the Hexcore’s power once we’ve cured me. Put him off for now with a false timeline but it’s looking dire. Jayce snuck out to go to Mel for help. Feel so useless sitting here waiting.

~

Don’t know why I’m continuing with this journal except it makes me feel a bit more sane to write it all down. Jayce never reached Mel. Enforcers caught him and he’s in Council custody. Mel came to tell me just now. Distraught. Her and Heimerdinger trying to get him a trial but rest of Council view him as a traitor and a nuisance and want to throw him in Stillwater. Only a matter of time before Silco hears and then what? How can I help Jayce or protect the Hexcore when I can barely stand or walk?

~

Did it. Only thing I have the power to do. Wasn’t going to - wouldn’t be able to do it properly alone - except Jinx showed up looking for Jayce. I was barely coherent but next thing I knew she was offering to help me. Painted the runes on my back and leg. Helped keep the Hexcore stable during the process. Such a bright, sweet girl under all the grit and bravado. Wish I could mentor her properly instead of roping her into this mess. But it worked! Didn’t attempt to fix my lungs - we are not at that point in the research - but my leg and spine are like new. Numb and warped and alien, and it will take time to build up strength and recover from muscle wastage, but I can put weight on both legs, I can straighten up fully, I can walk unaided. Incredible. I wish I could share this moment with Jayce.

Viktor rubs at his forehead, trying to process what he’s reading. It’s so different to how things went in his own timeline, yet somehow, it feels familiar; he recalls recklessly and desperately experimenting on himself with the Hexcore just as the journal describes. He was alone, though. No Jinx to help him. And he was merely trying to survive, whereas his other self was acting out of urgent need to help Jayce.

“Jayce,” Viktor murmurs, scanning back up the page, chest constricting at the despair and worry evident in every rushed, shaky stroke of handwriting.

“Yeah?”

Viktor looks up. Jayce is already awake, watching him quietly, eyes soft and kind. With a rushed exhale, Viktor crawls into his arms, breathing easier once he’s settled there and Jayce is rubbing gently between his shoulder blades.

“It’s all going wrong for them,” Viktor whispers. Jayce makes a questioning sound, dropping a kiss on his hair. “I think the other you is going to end up in Stillwater. The other me had to fuse with the Hexcore without you. But he and Jinx managed to localise it. I mean… you know this, we can see this from how my body is, but…”

“It’s different reading about it,” Jayce supplies in a murmur. Viktor sighs and nods, turning his face to hide against Jayce’s neck. “You don’t have to read anymore right now, you can-”

“No, I- I want to.”

Viktor inhales deeply and then pushes back, rolling to grab the journal. He nestles into Jayce’s arms and resumes reading out loud:

They put him in Stillwater. No trial. Mel and Heimerdinger pushing for an appeal but both of them are in precarious positions. Feel like I can barely breathe - which is true half the time anyway, but now even when my lungs are working I’m struggling. Jinx is furious, wants to storm Stillwater. If I thought she’d succeed I’d help her do it. Irresponsible of me but god knows what Jayce is going through in there. Unclear what Silco knows but I assume he’s heard. I’m waiting for an opportunity to take the Hexcore and run, maybe attempt to bargain with the council for Jayce’s release, but I’m being watched. Trying not to let on that I’ve altered myself with the Hexcore.

~

Unexpected and insane development. Caitlyn approached Mel wanting to help. Seems she’s disillusioned with the enforcers - understandably - and the justice system in general, since Jayce got put away without trial. Mel is as desperate to free Jayce as I am, so she signed a retrieval order for Caitlyn to take into the prison with her to fetch him. If this works she can get him out, but the alarm is sure to be raised within hours that it was an unapproved order. Caitlyn and Mel will both be in a lot of trouble. Jayce and I will have to disappear, away from Piltover & Zaun. I’m to take the Hexcore and wait at a location I won’t put here, just in case. Just want to see Jayce again.

Viktor turns the page, eager to find out how the prison break went… but the next page is blank.

“What?” he mutters, flipping through page after page of… nothing. “But-”

He stops. In the very back of the journal there’s one long entry across multiple pages. Half the first page is taken up with false starts, scribbled out messily. There are blurred and warped spots where the ink has gotten wet. Tears, falling on the paper.

“Oh, no,” he breathes, heart sinking. He meets Jayce’s wide, alarmed gaze. “Jayce…”

“Just read it,” Jayce interrupts, shoulders tense. He swallows, shakes his head, reaches out to squeeze Viktor’s arm. “I mean… please?”

Viktor nods slowly. He clears his throat and speaks in an almost hushed tone, slow and measured as he translates:

Mel said I should write, so here I am, writing.

Not sure what I can say, or should say. I don’t really want to say anything. I barely speak these days. I only want to talk to you.

I suppose I can pretend this is like talking to you. Maybe you can read it, somehow. Maybe in some way these words can reach you, Jayce. I wish I could reach you instead.

Today is our first wedding anniversary. It’s hard to think about what we’d be doing if you were still here. If things had gone differently. I wish so much that things had gone differently. That we could live another life, be another version of us who got to stay together. These past few months, it’s become a comfort, imagining that such a version of us exists out there somewhere.

I hope it wasn’t entirely terrifying, the night you broke out of Stillwater. I hope it felt like an adventure. You always had an adventurous spirit. And you were with Caitlyn. You always believed in her, and you were right, in the end. She put everything on the line to get you out of there. It worked, too, or at least it would have. I didn’t know Jinx would show up. She didn’t tell me. I didn’t know it would turn into a riot and a bloodbath. But Caitlyn still got you out, through all the chaos. She didn’t let you down.

I wish I could say the same. I wish I’d been faster and smarter when Silco’s goons caught me. I wish Jinx hadn’t gone to help you at Stillwater, so she could have been there and talked Silco down. I wish I’d hidden the Hexcore somehow, buried it or thrown it into the river, instead of trying to take it with me.

Mostly, I just wish I’d known then what I know now. How to channel that power. But until it happened I had no idea I even could.

I knew you’d come to find me when I didn’t show at the docks, but unfortunately so did Silco. He was crazed with rage and fear for Jinx, ranting about us ‘betraying’ him, betraying Zaun. I remember begging him to let you go, and you begging him to let me go. I remember him ordering Singed to alter you with the Hexcore, make you stronger. I think he had a mind to send you after Jinx if it worked, to get her out of danger. I remember screaming for them to stop when they held you down.

I don’t really know what happened next. I should probably be grateful for that. There was a lot of light and shouting. It felt like the Hexcore and I became one. I think maybe I was reaching for you, and so the Hexcore was too, but you weren’t strong enough without any shimmer in your system.

I don’t know how much time passed before I was separate from the Hexcore once more. I don’t know how long I stayed on that floor amongst the ash. I don’t know what I said to Mel when she showed up. It’s all a blur. She won’t talk about it much either. I just remember her packing up the Hexcore and dragging me into a carriage. I remember her sitting with me on the shower floor until the water ran cold. I remember her crying in my arms, and I remember wondering when you were going to come and help me comfort her because you always did a better job of it, and I think that’s when it really hit me.

Did you become part of it, the Hexcore? It felt like you did. That’s the only explanation I can think of for why my lungs were healed that night, because I didn’t do that and I doubt the Hexcore would have done such a thing unguided. I like to think that was you, somehow. It would have been very fitting, for your final act. Curing me. It was all you wanted. And now, here I am, and all I want is to be with you again, and the ironic thing is that I probably would be, by now, if you hadn’t saved me. But I think you did, and I can’t dishonour that. So, I persist.

It’s not very exciting, out here in the mountains barely ever seeing anyone, but I think you would like the peace. I think we would have made the best of it. I do see Mel sometimes. She’s working with Sky to keep Hextech the way we intended it. She’s had me declared dead, so no one is looking for me. I don’t understand how she doesn’t blame me. I don’t really know how I pass the time, except by missing what I don’t have.

I miss your smile and your voice and your warmth. I miss the little world we inhabited together. I miss the hope. I just miss you.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Chapter Text

There’s silence after Viktor stops reading, his voice gone so quiet and trembling that it was little more than a whisper on the final line. He lowers the notebook to his lap, drags in a breath and then looks at Jayce.

“I…” he begins, then trails off, shaking his head, throat thick. Jayce stares at him, his expression strangely lost. Viktor swallows and abruptly pulls him close, pressing his face into Jayce’s shoulder. He doesn’t attempt to say anything, and neither does Jayce; they just hold each other for several long, still minutes.

“How about we go down to the lake,” Jayce murmurs eventually, “and do the washing up?”

It’s such a mundane suggestion that it startles a rough laugh out of Viktor, who pulls back and draws in a deep breath.

“OK,” he says simply, and Jayce gives him a small, encouraging smile. Viktor shakes his head as he stands up and helps Jayce to his feet too, trying to dispel the lingering gloom. “You shouldn’t be the one comforting me. You’re the one who just died.”

“You didn’t see your face,” is the quiet reply, and Viktor looks away, swallowing. He gathers up the supplies they need and follows Jayce down to the lake; it’s a cloudy and cool morning, a barely visible veil of mist draped over the water’s still silver surface. A mourning shroud, Viktor thinks, then shakes his head and reminds himself that Jayce is alive. Another Jayce died, quite some time ago, and another Viktor mourned him.

After they’ve washed everything and brushed their teeth, they make their way back up to the hut. Jayce sets about making tea using some questionable herbal mixture he’s found. He suggests that Viktor read some more by himself and summarise, if it’s easier; Viktor gratefully agrees. The translating takes some effort, especially when he’s trying to process what he’s reading for himself at the same time.

Opening the next notebook, he sees that the first entry is dated over halfway through the year. This, once more, seems written as a long letter to Jayce:

It’s been a year without you now. I’m yet again writing this because Mel keeps prodding. It’s like I have a wife sometimes. Maybe she’s pretending I’m you.

No, that’s not fair. I know she loves me, and I love her too. But it’s difficult to be around her very much. Your absence is never more clear than when it’s just the two of us, because it should be three.

Still, I’m grateful to have her in my life, such as it is. Not only for her friendship and the understanding we share, but because she keeps me informed of the goings on back home. I know you’d be interested, and I was too busy wallowing in self-pity last time I tried this to update you properly. So, here is the latest from Piltover & Zaun:

Firstly, your mother is well, although obviously it’s been a difficult year. She’s grown very fond of Blitz and surprisingly close with Mel. I’m sorry to say that she and I don’t really talk. She blamed me for a long time, and honestly, I still blame myself, so I can’t fault her for that. It was Mel who acted as go-between, ensuring your savings went to Ximena, letting me know that she was alright and taken care of. Ximena wrote me a letter a few months back. It was very compassionate and heartfelt, but the gist of it was that she’s not ready to see me. I respect that. It feels right that Mel is the one acting as a daughter-in-law for Ximena. You loved her too, and I know Mel’s relationship with her own mother is somewhat rocky.

That brings me to my next piece of news: Ambessa Medarda. She’s arrived fairly recently in Piltover since she heard that Mel has become the unofficial head of the council. I’m still not sure how Mel managed that after losing so much face when she was trying to defend you, but she’s nothing if not resilient and resourceful. She used the Stillwater fiasco to divert attention from what happened with you, and then the Jinx situation to divert attention from the Stillwater fiasco.

The Jinx situation. Understandably, she didn’t take Silco’s death well, and of course she figured out more or less what happened. It didn’t take her long to find me, and I really thought that might be the end. I tried to warn her that something happens when I’m put into a heightened state; it’s like my connection with the Hexcore is dormant, but if my life is threatened, or in moments of intense physical sensation, it activates. I’ve since been able to access it through meditation too, so I can control it better now, but when Jinx confronted me I still didn’t really understand how it worked.

She didn’t try to kill me, though. She seemed to just want to talk. She said we were ‘even’ since it was her fault you died, and my fault Silco died. I told her I blamed myself for both, actually, and she laughed and said she blamed herself for both too. She’s reunited with her sister, Violet. By bizarre coincidence, Violet was imprisoned for years in Stillwater, and helped you and Caitlyn escape on the night of the riot. Caitlyn pulled every string imaginable to get Violet released. She lost her job as an enforcer but she’s pursuing legal studies. Her and Jinx do not get along well, but they both care for Violet, so there’s an uneasy truce there.

All this to say, Jinx has been surprisingly forgiving towards me, but she’s been wreaking havoc on Piltover. Her reaction to her father’s death seems to be that she’s now committed to his vision for an independent Zaun. A commendable goal, but in the hands of an erratic and traumatised teenager and with Zaun overrun with turf wars, it’s chaos. She’s mostly engaging in guerrilla warfare and low-level terrorism. On the upside, though, she seems to have formed a tentative friendship with Silco’s right hand, Sevika. I don’t recall them getting along well, but grief and loss can be bonding experiences, as I know all too well. Anyway, Mel is the only one who’s been able to get any sort of communication and compromise happening with Jinx or any of the chem-barons, hence the council’s renewed faith in her. I think she outranks Heimerdinger these days; apparently he went into something of a depression when we were both declared dead. I try not to feel vindictive about that.

And of course, Hextech. The Hexgates are still operational and it sounds like Sky has a small but solid team around her. She knows I’m alive and we write sometimes, when she needs advice or guidance. I try to think of what you would say, how you would want things to be, and follow that. She’s completely buried the crystal stabilisation research. With things so volatile between Piltover and Zaun right now, that technology would be weaponised. I know it’s only a matter of time before some bright mind on her team figures it out all over again, though.

Anyway, that’s all far away from where I am. I’ve built a little place here in the mountains and I’m earning my keep as a mage, of all things. The more I can control the Hexcore - which is buried under the dwelling I live in - the more I discover is possible. With the right runework I can heal, I can lift heavy loads, I can make plants grow bigger and faster. When I meditate and access the Hexcore, it feels like you’re with me somehow, so that’s good incentive to learn more and more about these powers.

I’ll keep recording my findings like a good scientist. I know that’s what you would have done if you were with me. I wish you were with me.

Viktor sighs and lays down the journal, then jumps as he realises Jayce is sitting beside him, sipping his tea quietly.

“Sorry, didn’t want to interrupt,” he says, then nods at the little cup on the floor between them. “Should still be hot, though.”

Viktor smiles, picking up the tea. “Thank you. How is it?”

Jayce shrugs. “I mean, I’m about ninety per cent sure it’s just a weird herbal blend and not a hallucinogenic, but we’ll find out, I guess.”

“Well, he did do a lot of meditation,” laughs Viktor, sniffing the tea, “so it’s probably a relaxant.”

“Sounds alright,” grins Jayce, then nods down at the notebook. “Any news for me?”

“Yes. Actually, it was all news for you. In a way, it is finally reaching its intended recipient.” Taking a deep breath and a fortifying sip of vaguely floral tea, Viktor recounts all that was in the journal entry. Jayce is shaking his head in disbelief when Viktor is done.

“So weird how things ended up so different, yet so much the same,” he mutters. “And the Hexcore is buried underneath us? That’s… well, I guess as good a hiding place as any…”

Viktor shoots a wary glance at the floor, but pushes his discomfort about the proximity of the Hexcore aside. He drinks some more tea as Jayce ponders out loud about various aspects of the journal entry, but his attention refocuses as Jayce catches his eye with a serious expression.

“I think we should go to Piltover and find Mel. If… I mean, I don’t know what year it is here, but hopefully she’s still… well. Still in Piltover.”

Viktor isn’t sure how to feel about the prospect of seeing a version of Mel Medarda who became so intimately important to him in this timeline, but he nods slowly. “We… can certainly try. In any case, we need to find a town to buy food and supplies, so we may as well travel in the direction of the city.”

“Agreed.” Jayce knocks back the last of his tea and hands it to Viktor as he gets up. “Would you mind washing this, and yours too? I’ll pack us a travel bag.”

Viktor does just that; when he returns to the hut, Jayce is tying a cloth package closed and giving him an expectant smile. “Ready to set off?”

Viktor mumbles for him to wait a moment, hurrying over to the shelves, eyes scanning until he finds a faded hair tie. Triumphant, he starts gathering up his messy locks at the crown of his head; he’s absolutely certain that if he doesn’t secure it out of the way, he’ll be hacking it off with a sharp rock within thirty minutes of getting it blown in his face by every gust of wind.

“Jayce, could you-? I cannot see what I am doing…” There’s no immediate reply; Viktor turns to see Jayce staring at him absently, lips parted. “Jayce?”

“Hmm? Oh!” Jumping a little as though startled, Jayce moves towards him to help. Viktor eyes him with interest, seeing the pink dusting his cheeks and ears. “You, uh… the long hair suits you.”

“Does it?” Viktor smiles, tilting his head as Jayce steps behind him. He takes longer than Viktor thinks is necessary to gather and arrange the hair to his liking, but Viktor has no complaints. Jayce’s hands feel nice combing through the tresses and lightly scratching at his scalp, even if his callouses catch a little on the tangled parts. A slight, pleasant shiver runs down the back of his neck.

“Mm-hmm.” Jayce clears his throat, bundling the hair up into a bun and fastening it with the tie, leaving a few loose strands to fall down around his temples and nape. “There. Um…”

Viktor glances back and raises an eyebrow at him over his shoulder. “What?”

Jayce is biting his lip, staring, and Viktor isn’t above teasing. In fact, it’s one of the great joys in his life, teasing Jayce Talis. Affecting a dismayed look, he reaches up and touches his hair, giving Jayce his widest eyes. “Does it look bad? Maybe I shouldn’t wear it like this-”

“No!” Jayce almost yelps, then narrows his eyes at Viktor’s smirk. “You’re really annoying about how hot you are, you know that?”

He’s pulling Viktor towards him as he speaks, though, kissing his laughing mouth. Viktor feels aglow. He never really got used to Jayce finding him physically attractive; when they first started out, it was a fairly alien concept to Viktor, that anyone would look at him and find him appealing. Not because he thought he was particularly ugly. He just hadn’t been aware of anyone ever seeing him in such a way. And for it to be Jayce who changed that, for it to be someone Viktor found so ridiculously attractive it made his head spin… well, it still gives him a little rush, to think that he makes Jayce feel that way in turn.

“Are we not… supposed to be, uh… leaving?” Viktor murmurs half-heartedly, even as he smiles and tips his head to the side to permit Jayce’s nuzzling. Jayce gives a long sigh against his skin and then pulls away with an air of great martyrdom, his expression dejected. Viktor snorts and kisses him again, arms sliding around his neck.

It’s some time later when they actually set off, Jayce shouldering the rolled-up bedroll and walking steadily on his mended leg brace, Viktor carrying their travel supplies and using the staff. They’ve agreed to get Jayce a walking aid as soon as possible. The cool and cloudy weather continues all day, which is a blessing as they stride across meadows and struggle up hills, making for a particular valley town that Jayce is certain can be found around halfway to Piltover.

Thankfully, he’s more or less correct, although it’s only Viktor’s sharp gaze picking out a slight plume of smoke sharply uphill of them that actually alerts them to the location of said town. Otherwise, they probably would have trekked right past it.

It’s late afternoon as they tramp into the small settlement, both of them sweaty and thirsty and tired, Jayce in particular limping and grimacing on every step. Viktor gives a triumphant sound as he spies a general goods store and makes a beeline for it.

“They sell clothes!” he beams, rifling through the rack of roughspun basics. Jayce hobbles right past him, eyes lighting up as he spies a display of fresh fruits, vegetables and baked goods.

“Fuck, Viktor,” he says fervently, grabbing at Viktor’s arm and pointing, “bread.”

“You Pilties,” Viktor mutters, rolling his eyes. “It’s been a few days, Jayce. God forbid you ever have to actually survive on your own, eh?”

He glances sideways at Jayce, expecting a sarcastic scoff, but instead he sees the other man gone still and strangely blank-eyed, staring at nothing. Viktor swallows, uneasy. “Jayce?”

“Mage!”

Viktor jumps at the booming shout and turns to see a stout, cheerful-looking woman striding towards him, beaming. “Uh…”

“We weren’t sure we’d see you again!” the woman exclaims, coming to a halt beside Viktor and clapping him firmly on the arm. “It’s been months, where’ve you been?”

“Oh,” says Viktor, managing an awkward smile, “here and there.”

“And you have a… companion…?” the woman continues, peering curiously around Viktor, who looks back to see Jayce blinking as though startled from a dream. “Are you here for an extended visit, or just passing through?”

“Just passing through, I think,” Viktor responds cautiously, still glancing at Jayce with lingering concern. “Stopping for supplies.”

“Very well, very well!” beams the woman. She squeezes Viktor’s arm. “Well, as usual, half price on anything you wish, my friend!”

Viktor’s eyebrows shoot upwards in shock. “Oh, no, I have coin, I can…”

“Nonsense! My son is alive and well because of you. Really, it should be free, but times are tight with all this nonsense these last few years down in the cities.” Viktor can only nod, mumbling his thanks. The woman nods back and then leans in, her eyes kind. “Glad to see you’re not alone for once. I understand all too well the pain of losing a partner, but… life goes on, eh? There’s always another chance.”

Viktor smiles weakly at her. “It… it would certainly seem so.”

The woman grins, squeezes his shoulder again and then bustles off. Viktor glances back at Jayce once more but finds him selecting food with what appears to be great concentration, so he leaves him to it.

They buy some clothes, food and a hiking stick for Jayce; it’s a good thing it’s all half price, because it would have used up nearly all their coin otherwise. After politely extricating themselves from the shopkeeper’s enthusiastic chatter, they make their way through the quiet streets, toward the drinking well they’ve been told is on the edge of the village.

“Are you alright?” Viktor ventures, peering sideways at his partner. Jayce blinks at him, hoisting their package to sit better under his arm.

“Of course,” he says easily, smiling. “It’s sweet, how happy that woman was to see you. You’ve always wanted to help people, and this version of you… well, he did, huh?”

Viktor nods slowly, watching Jayce as they reach the well. “It’s just… you went a bit quiet back there. Like you were somewhere else, in your mind.”

He sees it again, that flicker of something across Jayce’s features, that moment of distance in his eyes. Then it’s gone, and Jayce is shrugging and dumping their shopping on the ground to start pulling up water. Viktor stands there, teetering on the edge of just giving up and moving on, since it seems Jayce doesn’t want to talk about it…

He stops. Thinks back to the journal entries from when things truly began to diverge between the timelines: for his other self, he and Jayce communicated properly, with Viktor pushing past Jayce’s façade and insisting on being there for him. But in his own timeline, he let it be, and they never bridged that distance between them. Because Jayce doesn’t talk about things that actually, really, truly bother him. He shoulders his burdens in isolation, puts on a front, determined to be the one lifting Viktor up instead, to always be positive and smiling and easy to love, to never let anyone down.

His other self lost his Jayce. He had to go on living without him, a grief that Viktor can only faintly grasp the horrifying edges of. But he knew his husband fully, and loved him out in the open. He swore himself to that love, and he kept that oath until death parted them. He may have written in his journal about feeling that he let Jayce down, but in their life together, he didn’t. He was there for him. They were there for each other; a true partnership, in all ways.

And here Viktor is, knowing something isn’t right, watching Jayce put on his ‘everything is fine’ act, about to just accept it and leave it be. To turn away. To let Jayce shoulder his burdens by himself. Again.

“No,” he says out loud, and Jayce raises his brows, looking at him with bemusement. Viktor squares his shoulders and steps up to Jayce, hefting the full bucket from his hands and placing it on the well edge. He grabs Jayce’s arms and tugs him around so they’re facing one another fully. “Jayce, má lásko… please. Do not shut me out. I want to know, whatever it is.”

Jayce’s mouth opens, but he says nothing for several seconds, blinking as if confused. “I… it’s… it’s not…”

“It is important,” Viktor cuts across him firmly, tightening his hands. Jayce shuts his mouth and swallows. Already, his eyes look slightly shiny. Finally, he lets out a breath and drops his gaze, shoulders slumping.

“It’s… you said something about having to survive on my own. I know you were just joking. But I- I did have to. When I was in… the other place.”

“Other place?” Viktor echoes, frowning. He slides his hands down to tangle their fingers, giving what he hopes is an encouraging squeeze. “What other place?”

“When…” Jayce stops, takes in a slightly quick breath, eyes still downcast. “After you left, after I fused you with the Hexcore. I got… transported. I don’t know how much you saw, in what I showed you.”

“I didn’t see a lot,” Viktor admits. “It was… a jumble. The memories I was part of too were the only parts that made much sense. And the part at the end, with the other me, this me, was a bit clearer, but the rest… not so much.”

“Right,” Jayce mumbles, then shrugs. “There’s not much to say, I just… I ended up in another reality. Destroyed. There was no one else there. Or at least… no one still human.”

His voice has gone flat and hollow, his face blank. Viktor feels more than a little unsettled. “That sounds terrifying. What had happened?”

There’s a thick, loaded silence. Jayce’s eyes dart up to his, once, then back down. He looks frozen. Sudden comprehension hits Viktor like a solid punch to the gut.

“Oh,” he whispers. “I happened, didn’t I?”

Jayce swallows again, then nods. “I ended up falling down a ravine. Broke my leg. Starved. So… when you talked about surviving on my own, I just… it reminded me. Living off of, I don’t know, water trickling off rocks and- f-fuckin’ lizards, ugh-”

He makes a noise like he’s trying to laugh, screws up his face like he’s saying something ridiculous, but it crumples in on itself, tears spilling over and tracking down his cheeks. Viktor makes a dismayed sound and pulls him into a hug, clutching him close, faint with shock and visceral horror.

“Jayce,” he whispers into his hair, cupping the back of his head as he buries his face in Viktor’s neck. “I- I had no idea...”

“Didn’t want you to,” Jayce mumbles, muffled, arms snaking around his waist tightly. He sways slightly where he stands. “Don’t wanna think about it.”

“I’m sorry,” Viktor breathes, unsure what else to say. “How… how long were you there?”

He feels Jayce shake his head. “I don’t know. Weeks. Maybe months. Too long. Went a bit crazy. You saw, right after, when… Salo…”

His voice breaks again on the name and he shudders in Viktor’s arms, making a raw, wounded sound. Viktor strokes his hair, feeling a bit nauseous. He remembers that. He remembers thinking that Jayce looked and acted different, rough and filthy and wild-eyed, like he must have been through something, but he never could have imagined…

How did it take him this long to ask?

“You were there that whole time?” Viktor whispers. “I thought you were just… in Piltover. With Mel. Living your life…”

Jayce pulls back, blinking wetly at him. “God, no. You think I would have just sat around for six months and not come to find you?”

Viktor holds his face in both hands, pressing his lips together against the tightness in his own throat. “I thought it at the time. Now… now I know better. But I’m so sorry you went through that.”

Jayce drops his head, leaning their foreheads together. “Yeah. Thanks- thanks for…”

He trails off, but Viktor understands. He nudges their noses lightly. “I’m your partner, lásko. I always want to know about it, whatever it is. Can you try to tell me things, more? And I will try to ask and listen better.”

“OK,” Jayce breathes, then, “I love you.”

“As I love you,” Viktor murmurs, closing his eyes and leaning into Jayce’s warmth. They stay there for some time, holding onto each other, and Viktor thinks that as uncertain as their future is… he’s grateful to have a future, and even more grateful that it’s together.

Chapter Text

They would have reached Piltover early the following evening, but for the storm.

The sky starts looking particularly ominous in the afternoon, but the slight ache in Viktor’s bones lets him know hours before that. They keep walking even as the thunderclouds gather, keeping anxious watch for any signs of shelter beyond just trees and bushes.

As the first rumbles begin to sound and cold, fat raindrops begin to fall, they give the enticingly close-looking city skyline one last glance, then turn for the nearest wooded area. They’re almost jogging as the weather rapidly worsens, despite both of them feeling the effects of the long day of trudging. They were fortunate the night before; the shopkeeper who knew Viktor – or at least thought she did – caught them coming back from the well and offered them a spot by her fire to lay their bedroll for the night. There are no friendly shopkeepers nearby as the storm descends on them, though. Only sparse trees and an uneven cliff face-

“There!” Jayce calls over the sound of the thunder, pointing at a dark gash in the rock. They hurry through the now-pelting rain to the opening, relieved to find it goes back far enough to be called a cave. The sound of the rain abruptly lessens to a dull splattering once they’re under shelter, but the thunder is still loud enough to vibrate through their bones.

“Kurva drát,” Viktor swears as he pushes his sodden hood back and wipes stray, damp tendrils of hair out of his face. He dumps his pack and walking staff on the ground then unfastens his cloak, draping it over a convenient boulder, peering outside as lightning flashes. Despite his cursing and scowling about the wet clothes… he loves storms. Storms don’t really reach Zaun, mostly underground as it is, so he didn’t properly experience a storm until he moved topside; he’s never lost his fascination with the drama and majesty and primal power of them.

“Yeah,” huffs Jayce, dropping his own bundle and stick, shrugging out of his jacket. Viktor turns and watches him scrape his wet hair back, watches his chest rise and fall with his quickened breath. He’s in the new waistcoat he bought in the village store and it fits him surprisingly well, albeit a little tight. Quite tight, actually.

“Eyes are up here, Vik.”

Viktor looks back up, pursing his lips at Jayce’s smirk. He shrugs and then deliberately reaches up to start unbuttoning his own shirt at the neck, since the cloak was sadly not waterproof and he’s pretty much soaked through. He’s pleased with himself when Jayce’s smug expression immediately goes wide-eyed with interest.

“OK,” Jayce says, stepping closer, “maybe I could… help you with that?”

Viktor gives him a considering look. He opens his mouth to reply, but another crack of thunder rolls through the air at that moment, startling him into closing his eyes to listen and feel the aftershocks.

The vibration hasn’t quite faded when Jayce takes his face in his hands and kisses him, stealing his gasp of surprise. They pull apart and blink at each other in what remains of the dim, fractured daylight, both smiling.

“Storm might last a while,” Jayce murmurs, raising his eyebrows. “However shall we pass the t-”

Rolling his eyes, Viktor pulls Jayce down and kisses him again. It turns urgent surprisingly fast. Viktor shrugs impatiently out of his damp shirt, thrilling as Jayce’s rain-cool hands skate and stutter down his chest and stomach to clutch at his waist, pulling him closer. He fumbles at the fastenings on Jayce’s waistcoat, making a small triumphant sound as he’s finally able to push the garment off strong shoulders. The shirt underneath is already unbuttoned at the neck, so he simply tugs at it to untuck it and then pulls back to yank it over’s Jayce’s head.

A long moment of lightning illuminates Jayce, stopping Viktor in his tracks. He looks otherworldly in the bright white light, eyes huge and dark but ringed with bright gold, lips red and bitten, wet hair in disarray, sculpted shoulders and torso thrown into sharp relief. Viktor wants him so badly he can’t understand how he ever pretended otherwise. He can barely hear the pounding rain over the blood roaring in his ears, thumping hot under his skin.

“Fuck,” he says inelegantly, and pushes Jayce up against the uneven rock wall behind him, hands in his rain-soaked hair, abruptly desperate. The thunder drowns out half the sounds they make as they touch one another, but between the crashes their groans carry over the pulsing rain. Jayce has slid so far down the wall that Viktor has the height advantage, which he uses eagerly, crowding in, pushing between Jayce’s thighs. Jayce’s breathless pleas blend with the sound of the storm as Viktor wrenches open his trousers and takes him in hand, mouthing down Jayce’s neck. He doesn’t tease like he normally might; his touch is firm and demanding, his teeth grazing Jayce’s thudding pulse as he presses closer and tighter. Jayce’s nails scrape and dig into Viktor’s back, his hips bucking jerkily.

Panting, Viktor pulls back enough to see him. Whatever Jayce is babbling as he knocks his head back is not fully audible to Viktor, but the lightning makes things clear enough: his heaving chest, the way he scrabbles against the rough cave wall with the hand not clutching at Viktor’s waist, the long line of his throat and the dark, wet shine of his open mouth-

Suddenly desperate to kiss him again, Viktor cups the back of his neck and does just that, other hand still working between Jayce’s legs. It’s not enough, though; Viktor wants, wants, wants, dizzy with it, his desire driven higher by every roll of thunder or sharp snap of lightning. He pulls back and glances down at the travel bundle Jayce packed as another staccato flash makes the cave bright, wondering…

“Vik?” he just about hears Jayce call over the rain as he kneels once more to rifle through the travel pack. The cave would be poorly lit anyway, but the storm has made the day outside almost night-dark. His teeth are bared with frustration as he searches blindly-

“Yes,” he breathes as his fingers close around the small jar. Jayce has slithered down the wall to kneel beside him; Viktor turns to him, holding the jar up with a wide smile, just about able to make out how his lover’s expression turns from puzzled to amused and eager. Leaning close, Viktor says clearly right in Jayce’s ear. “I should have known you would pack this.”

He keeps pressing in, pushing Jayce back until he’s propped on his elbows on the cave floor, crawling atop him, closing his teeth around a sensitive earlobe and tugging lightly before releasing. His lips brush Jayce’s ear as he speaks again, voice almost too low to be heard over the rain: “Well done, lásko.”

He feels Jayce shudder under him, much to his satisfaction. A light pressure on Jayce’s chest is all it takes for the man to lie back fully. Viktor slides his hand up to Jayce’s throat, pinning him in place, and kisses him hard, open-mouthed, possessive. Even in the darkness between lightning flashes, even unable to hear much over the rain and thunder, Viktor can feel how drunk Jayce is on the rough treatment. His fingers dig into Viktor’s hips, but he's otherwise completely unresistant, kissing back with breathless moans that vibrate between them.

Viktor shoves Jayce’s trousers down his thighs, as far as he can get them with the leg brace in the way. It’s a little taxing to hook Jayce’s un-braced leg over his elbow, considering it probably weighs almost as much as Viktor himself, but it’s an effort he’s only too happy to make. Viktor tries not to rush, tries to be careful even with how frantic he feels, but despite all the years that have gone by since they did this regularly… he knows Jayce. He knows when Jayce wants slow and sweet, and he knows when he’s feeling playful, and he knows when he’s just fucking desperate for it.

OK, so it’s possible that it’s Viktor who’s desperate for it and projecting a little, but he certainly detects no complaint from Jayce when he’s fucking him with three fingers a very short time later. He leans his weight on his lover, kissing him indulgently between moans and sighs, murmuring inaudible praise into his mouth. He grinds against Jayce as he pulls his fingers free, pets and plays with his leaking cock, nuzzles his neck when he throws his head back. Between thunderclaps, under the sound of the wind and rain outside, he can just about hear Jayce panting his name like a prayer, one hand in Viktor’s hair and the other flung above his head, loosely curled into a fist.

“Please-” Jayce gasps loudly, and Viktor takes that as his cue. He gets the leg brace undone in record time and then tugs Jayce’s boots and trousers off, impatient to have him laid bare. Another flash of lightning paints Jayce in vulnerable definition, lying naked and gasping and smeared with dirt from the cave floor. It feels profound, to see him like this, to be allowed to touch him exactly how he wants. Viktor feels awed as he pushes Jayce’s thighs further apart, leaning over him, meeting his blown gaze.

There’s no speaking, no further foreplay. Viktor muffles his groan with teeth sinking into Jayce’s bare shoulder as he thrusts inside him, propping himself up on one elbow and running the other hand down his lover’s chest, across his taut belly, between his trembling thighs. Jayce makes a fractured, drawn-out sound, clutching at Viktor frantically, panting. Viktor swears and rolls his hips again, then again, then again, not even remotely attempting any sort of self-control. Thunder shakes through them, lightning catching on the sweat shining on their skin, and Viktor thinks wildly and selfishly that it was all worth it, all of it, just to have this, to have him, for Jayce to be his again-

“Vik, god, you- ah, yes, right there, yes-”

Jayce is slurring his words, back arching, hips undulating wildly. Viktor sinks fingers into his hair and kisses him as he fucks him, greedily swallowing his begging and his gasps. The storm is moving away, but Viktor doesn’t notice, caught up in a pleasure so tight and wavering that he’s sure- any moment- there-

The cave lights up with a glow that is decidedly not lightning, but a moment later Viktor is screwing his eyes shut, moaning into Jayce’s neck as he spills inside him. Every part of them is touching, damp skin pressed together, holding each other so close it’s like they could merge into one. He wants that. He could have it, he thinks dazedly, he can feel the power he needs within his reach. And if his other self could control the Hexcore connection…

Jayce draws in a sharp breath; when Viktor pulls back, he can see the light touching him, tendrils caressing, already linked with the fingerprints on his brow. His eyes are glowing even through closed lids. Viktor swallows, hesitantly cupping Jayce’s jaw.

“Jayce,” he exhales, still breathing hard. He’s just thinking that this is far enough, he should pull back and break the connection, when-

Viktor?

It’s Jayce’s voice, but he didn’t speak. Viktor shuts his eyes, instinct drawing him to where the voice came from. Within, somehow; inside that feeling of raw power and connection that he’s been so scared of… yet he can’t bring himself to fear anything that speaks to him with Jayce’s voice.

When he opens his eyes, he knows immediately where he is. Pinpricks of light glimmer around him in the soft, endless dark, and in front of him, made of starlight, smiling-

Viktor, Jayce says again, reaching for him. They touch, and it’s so much more than a physical connection. It’s everything. It’s achingly familiar. They wrap around each other, basking in the closeness, in having this quiet intimacy that Viktor once thought of as heaven. He can’t believe that this was what he was so scared of… yet, his fear wasn’t unfounded. One could spend forever floating in this void, while their physical body wasted away.

Jayce is dependent on Viktor pulling them both back to themselves, he realises. As always, the weight of Jayce’s trust in him is heavy, but somehow comforting. Grounding. Viktor allows that weight to pull him back into his body, and he gently severs the arcane connection between them. Jayce gives a sigh as the light fades and retreats back into Viktor.

The rain is slowing outside; Viktor pets through Jayce’s still slightly damp hair. It’s quiet.

“Má lásko,” Viktor whispers, feeling a little delirious and very glad to be lying down, despite the unforgiving rock and dirt beneath him. He noses at Jayce’s temple, smiling as the man trembles against him. “You’re perfect.”

He gets a tired but pleased noise in reply, muffled by his shoulder. He isn’t sure how long they stay like that; he feels that he could fall asleep. Eventually, though, Jayce inhales deeply and peels away, grunting as he sits up. Viktor follows just to keep his hands on him, leaning in to press a kiss to his shoulder. The storm is long gone, he realises belatedly. The rain has stopped, the light in the cave lifted to vague yellow-tinged gloom rather than dark.

“That was…” Jayce mumbles, then huffs a laugh, twisting to smile at Viktor, his eyes bright. “We were back where we were before, when we were together in the arcane void. You felt it, right?”

Viktor nods slowly. “I did. I… shouldn’t have taken that risk, but…”

“Risk is necessary in learning,” Jayce shrugs, then grins. “I think we just had our first major Sextech breakthrough!”

“Kurva,” Viktor mutters, shaking his head, but he’s smiling as Jayce draws him into his arms, leaning comfortably against him. Jayce sighs happily, cheek resting on Viktor’s hair. When he speaks again, his voice remains teasing.

“I forgot about your thing for storms.”

Viktor rolls his eyes. “I don’t have a thing for storms.”

“Mmm-hmm. That must be why we ended up fucking during pretty much every storm that happened when we were together.”

“We did not, it was only a few times…”

“Vik,” snorts Jayce, “it was every time. Even that time in the lab, and you had that rule about no sex in the lab-”

“Which we broke about half a dozen times,” interjects Viktor, pulling back and narrowing his eyes, “because of you-”

“No way!” Jayce protests, eyes crinkling with his grin. “Well, maybe most of the times, but the storm time was all you. Because you have a thing for storms.”

Viktor scoffs, but Jayce isn’t finished; he always likes to argue a point well into the ground. “I know you have a thing for storms because I sure didn’t before you. I actually used to find them sort of scary. But ever since you, every time it storms I get turned on. How do you explain that, huh?”

“Correlation is not-” Viktor begins pompously, then dissolves into laughter when Jayce rolls his eyes and shoves him lightly. Kneeling up to rifle through their travel pack, Jayce retrieves his old shirt from the day before and uses it with some water to clean himself as best he can, before carefully folding it and passing it to Viktor for the same use.

“It’s only a couple of hours until sunset,” Jayce comments as he starts getting dressed, peering out from the cave. “We could probably make it to Piltover by dark, but we’d have to set off straight away and I know we were both feeling pretty tired before, so…”

“If I was tired before, I’m exhausted now,” says Viktor wryly. “This wasn’t exactly a rest stop.”

Jayce glances back at him with a grin. “I’m not complaining. And you sure as hell seemed into it, so…”

“Well, yes, but that’s not my fault,” Viktor says, shrugging his own shirt back on, grimacing at the damp material. Jayce raises his brows, questioning; Viktor blinks innocently. “I have a thing for storms.”

“OK, fuck you,” laughs Jayce, and Viktor tilts his head with a smirk.

“I might need a little more recovery t-”

He’s silenced as Jayce kisses him quiet, hands warm either side of his face, and he thinks to himself that maybe he does have a thing for storms, and maybe that’s not such a bad thing at all.

Having decided to stay the night where they are, they settle down to eat some supper, Jayce stretching out with his head pillowed on the travel bundle. Viktor sits in the cave entrance reading through the rest of the journal he’s on, and then the next one too. The entries all seem to be letters to Jayce, inked in sadness and longing and grief, all a few months apart. They describe a quiet life wandering the towns and villages of the mountains, always returning to the little hut by the lake once the other Viktor has enough supplies to last a couple of weeks, which he spends meditating and honing new skills through the Hexcore.

One entry, a month or so after the two-year anniversary of Jayce’s death, catches Viktor’s attention more than the others; he sits up as he reads it, eyes widening.

I can’t be sure until I’ve actually done it, but I think I’ve cracked transporting myself instantaneously from one place to another. We always theorised it could be done with the Hexgate, but we never got far enough in the research to make it safe. You knew it was possible, though, and you always wanted to see the day we made it happen. I wish you could. You’d be so excited.

I know it’s dangerous but I’ve checked the runework a dozen times or more, and it holds. I’ve been able to transport objects for months and I know exactly how it works, how the arcane power moves through me when it happens. It always feels like it wants to take me too. This new staff I’ve carved is enormously helpful in channeling and directing the magic. The finger tattoos Jinx helped me with have made a big difference, too. I have so much more control than I used to and my healing work has become so precise. Last week I mended a butterfly’s wing! It doesn’t get much more delicate than that.

I feel almost like I don’t need to write any of this down, because you’re with me, aren’t you? I’ve never been more certain. Every time I connect with the Hexcore, now, I can feel you so strongly. I wish we could talk, but I just don’t know how to bridge that last distance. It’s like you’re on the other side of the thinnest pane of glass imaginable. I want so much to shatter it and see you again, hear your voice, touch you.

Maybe I’m imagining things. Mel and Sky both tell me I’m on my own too much. Even Jinx said so, when I helped her with her father. It’s alright for her, though; ever since her and her sister found Vander alive in the mines, it’s like the old wounds have healed and they’re a family again. And I want that for them. Helping bring Vander back to himself might have been the closest to happy I’ve felt since losing you. Seeing awareness in his eyes, giving him back his agency, returning him to his daughters… it meant a lot. I wasn’t even sure I could do that type of healing until then. Apparently he’s even re-learning how to speak and write! It’s incredible. But it doesn’t bring back what I’ve lost. It doesn’t bring me back you.

I’m close, though, I know it. You are within the arcane, somehow, and I’m going to reach you. It feels like the more I master the magic, the closer I get to you. Today, I’m going to transport myself to the far side of the north valley. If it works, I’m hoping it might unlock that last barrier between us within the Hexcore. If it goes wrong… well, maybe we’re reunited either way.

See you soon.

Viktor lowers the notebook, staring blankly at the ground in front of him. He jumps slightly when Jayce speaks after a minute or so, voice quiet.

“What happened?”

“I…” Viktor shrugs helplessly, shaking his head. “It’s more what he thinks will happen…”

He explains the journal entry to Jayce, who sits up and frowns in thought as he listens. The evening is drawing in, the outside fading from that post-storm dense golden light to the muted shadows of sunset. They light the candle they brought with them, setting it towards the back of the cave, away from stray gusts of wind.

“So, he thinks his Jayce is… some kind of arcane ghost?”

Viktor hesitates. “It… actually does match up with what happened with Ms Young…”

“Sky?” Jayce frowns. “You mentioned before that you… saw her. When you were fused with our Hexcore.”

“More than saw her. I spoke to her, confided in her, was guided by her. I was never sure if she was real, but perhaps… perhaps when the Hexcore killed her, it also… absorbed her? Her essence, her…”

“Soul?” Jayce murmurs, looking fascinated but a little disturbed. Viktor sighs, shaking his head.

“I don’t know. But if it happened with her, perhaps it happened with the other you. The other me certainly seems to think so in these journal entries, hence his eagerness to keep pushing until he can make contact. It feels reckless, but… I understand why he’s doing it.”

Jayce looks at him for a long moment, then sighs, eyes sombre. He reaches out and tugs Viktor closer by the hand, running his thumb over the faded tattoos there. “And these helped him channel the arcane power?”

Viktor shrugs. “So it seems. He did go into a little more detail on those in an earlier entry, when he was finalising the designs. I think it’s because he used his hands and the staff to direct the flow of magic.”

Jayce is nodding along with what Viktor is saying, but he interrupts himself with a yawn. Smiling, Viktor disentangles their hands and prods gently at his shoulder. “Lie down. You look like you’re about to nod off. I mean, I know I can be boring, but…”

“You’re never boring,” Jayce grins, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Viktor’s cheek. “But I am about to nod off, you’re right. You gonna read some more?”

“A little more.”

As Jayce curls up under the blanket to sleep, Viktor moves to sit by the candle with the journal. It’s marked with the very year the two of them came from, yet there are still five more notebooks; clearly, the timelines don’t match up perfectly.

The next entry, as Viktor hoped, starts by describing his other self’s experiment to transport himself using arcane magic:

Still perfecting the transportation, but it’s been six weeks since the initial attempt, when I successfully went from one side of the north valley to the other. That felt rough and I was unwell for several days, but there was no serious injury or ill effect after a week, so I deemed it reasonable to attempt a greater distance.

I’ve now repeated this four times! Writing this from Mel’s dining room table. Incredible that I can reach Piltover in just a few seconds. I’ve been here several days and Mel’s already got me cooking for her… typical! It’s not like I was ever the greatest cook of the three of us, but she did always like the stew and dumplings dish. So did you. It’s actually nice to make it again, and to be able to take care of Mel a little. I know I neglect her and I want to be here for her more, both because I love her and because it’s what you would want. Her mother continues to stir up trouble, although she’s not gaining much traction and Mel thinks she’ll grow bored soon. I hope she’s right.

Anyway, she didn’t have the right spices for the stew, so I snuck out and went down to Zaun. While I was down there I heard something interesting: Jinx is now based with the Firelights, who used to be a fringe group but now seem to be shaping up to be the emerging political power in Zaun. So, I went and sought them out, only to find not just Jinx there, but Caitlyn and Violet too. I very much liked the Firelights leader, Ekko; he reminded me a little of you.

You would be happy to know that Caitlyn and Violet – to no one’s surprise, not even mine, and I’ve only seen them together twice – are officially a couple. Caitlyn seems happy, and even has something of a truce with Jinx. She was very sweet to me. Her legal studies are going well and she’s become very passionate about ‘building towards a future where an independent Zaun can foster a mutually beneficial alliance with Piltover’. You would be so proud of her but I think you would have burst out laughing at how much she sounds like her mother. Perhaps she’ll end up a councillor after all, but it’s still a better career path than enforcer, and she might actually do some good.

I wish I could tell you all this directly, but I still can’t break through when I meditate. It’s disheartening sometimes, but I know you are there. Mel gave me the most pitying look when I said that. That’s fine. I know how it sounds. I wish she could understand. I know you would be reaching out to her, too, if you could.

For now, I’m the most content I’ve been in a long time. I know I’ll find a way to get to you through the Hexcore. I can be patient, even if it takes years.

Viktor smiles wryly, sadly, on the final line. He glances at the pile of notebooks still to go. His other self’s determined faith and hope is touching, especially after how low-spirited and full of despair some of the previous entries were.

He reads through the rest of that year, but early into the next year’s journal, the entries just… stop. There’s a few more scribbled rune configurations and cryptic notes scattered through the pages, but no more letters to Jayce, no more diary-like descriptions of the other Viktor’s life.

Frowning, Viktor grabs the next notebook and opens it, seeing the first few pages again filled with random equations and specs and vague questions, reminders and materials lists. It’s like his own notebook he used to keep in the lab, but unfortunately it gives him very little insight into what might have actually been going on-

“A-ha!” he mutters as he turns the page and sees a small paragraph of writing dated over halfway through the year. He leans closer to read, and his jaw goes slack as he does so.

Could be close on the next big breakthrough. Seems bizarre that there might be a whole other me out there. No idea what to expect even if I can make the jump from this world to another. Jayce says it’s like listening for a sound far in the distance, whatever that means. Being dead certainly hasn’t made him any clearer when he explains things. Writing this was a good suggestion though. After all, who knows? If I cause some disastrous body switch, these journals could be a vital source of information to my other self. Greetings, other self! Stay away from Piltover & Zaun at the moment, it’s a war zone. Literally.

Viktor blinks, then reads the whole thing again. He puts the notebook down and kneads at his forehead, trying to get his brain to make sense of it. The entry talked about Jayce. Other Jayce. The dead Jayce.

It seems that either the other Viktor managed to make contact with the ghost of his husband trapped inside the arcane… or he completely, utterly lost his mind.

Chapter Text

“Wait, sorry, tell me that part about Ambessa Medarda again?”

Viktor huffs a little impatiently. “That’s what you want to focus on?”

“It sounds serious!” Jayce protests. “I mean, it must have been terrible for Mel…”

“Well, we can’t have that,” Viktor mutters, rolling his eyes and earning an incredulous look from Jayce.

“This is coming from the guy whose diary entries go on about having cosy little wine-fuelled sleepovers at Mel’s place, where he cooks for her, and they snuggle?”

“That’s not me, I’ve never done any of those things with Mel Medarda. We don’t even like each other! Besides, are you jealous?”

“Aren’t you?” counters Jayce, raising his eyebrows. Viktor gives him a flat look, because in his opinion, the answer is obvious. He doesn’t really want to get into that, though, so he waves his hand impatiently, shaking his head.

“The Ambessa situation seems to be that she installed a Noxian spy in the Hextech team, who succeeded in recreating the gemstone project based on fragments of our previous research.”

Jayce frowns. “Poor Sky.”

“Indeed,” agrees Viktor grimly. “My other self speculates that Ambessa armed both Zaunite chem-gangs and topside enforcers with rudimentary and unstable gemstone weapons. All hell broke loose. Where I got up to, about a year after the conflict began and around two years before present day, efforts were underway to broker peace, with the Firelights putting Sevika and Ekko forward as the Zaunite representatives. Mel had also been repeatedly blocking her mother’s attempts to seize control of the council and place it under martial law, which from memory is what Ambessa did in our timeline, correct?”

“From what I gathered, yeah,” sighs Jayce. He shifts the bedroll higher on his shoulder as they walk along the road leading into the outskirts of Piltover. Viktor is sweating a little, in danger of getting sunburnt as the morning sun climbs higher in the sky. “And the other you thinks he’s talking to the other me through the Hexcore?”

Viktor nods, then pulls an uncertain face. “For all I know, he might be. Or it might just be… grief. Loneliness. Wishful thinking.”

“What else has he learned to do through arcane power?”

“Well, he thinks he’s connected with… another Viktor. And, obviously, we know he succeeded there, so… he probably has. He describes catching glimpses of another life, unfamiliar memories.”

“That’s nuts,” Jayce mutters, staring at the ground as they walk. Viktor gives him a bemused look.

“This can’t be news to you, Jayce. We are living proof that contact can be had between alternate versions of people. I’m literally saying this to you from an alternate Viktor’s mouth.”

Jayce screws up his face. “Don’t say it like that, like it’s some weird puppetry. I like that mouth, thanks. And yeah, I know, it’s just… so bizarre to think about, still.”

“It is,” Viktor admits. “Let’s stop for a break. I think I can get the journals finished. It seems prudent to have all the possible information before we try to speak to anyone we know from this world.”

Jayce agrees, leading Viktor over to a bench beneath a tree. They both peer around curiously as they gulp down water; they’re in a quiet suburban area, very few people about. The Piltover skyline looms over them, the faint sound of trundling carriage wheels reaching them from an intersection at the end of the street. There are children playing in a backyard nearby, muffled shrieks and laughter.

“Doesn’t seem like a war zone,” Jayce murmurs. Viktor hums agreement as he pulls out the remaining notebooks. “I wonder-”

“Jayce,” Viktor says firmly, giving him a pointed look, “I can find out and tell you… if you let me get on with my reading.”

He gets a smirk in response, Jayce’s thick brows drawing upwards. “Bossy.”

“You like it,” Viktor mutters, smiling as he flips the journal in his hands open. He hears Jayce chuckle agreement, but ignores him, focusing on the entry he’s up to:

Whatever is happening in this other life I keep seeing snatches of, it seems alarming. I think there’s another version of the Hexcore, but he seems physically merged with it. I can’t work out much more than that. Jayce tries to see what I see, but he gets drawn towards his own counterpart, and he’s got less autonomy in general than I have so it’s too murky for him to make sense of much. He says there definitely is a living version of him in the reality we found, though.

I’ve made some headway with learning to safely transport other living beings with me when I travel using arcane power. I’ve tried it with that bizarre Hexcore-altered cat of Jinx’s, Sharkie. The animal seemed fine, but it’s unclear whether it only survived because of its augmentations. I’m reluctant to risk a normal creature but all indications are that it would work fine.

Things still bad in P&Z. Large Noxian military presence. Mel is constantly stressed. Only upside of my most recent visit was that I met with Ximena and she was so kind. Didn’t realise what it would mean to have her say she forgave me until she was saying it. Promised I would stay in touch more. Didn’t tell her about Jayce as I don’t want to upset her thinking I’ve gone mad. If I have gone mad – and it’s a strong possibility – I’d rather keep her out of it.

~

Well, it’s happened. Piltover is officially under Noxian ‘protection’. Things are not looking good for anyone there and as usual, it’s worse for Zaun. Because of course, it was a ‘Zaunite attack’ on the council chamber that prompted this. Can’t prove it but strongly suspect Ambessa Medarda is the real culprit.

A lot is happening with Mel. She tells me she got called away – probably her mother’s doing – right before the bomb hit the council chambers, but that she ran back in to help people, and almost got hit by falling debris. That’s when it happened: she channelled arcane power. Independently! No Hextech needed. She didn’t tell anyone at the time. Too busy trying to salvage the situation, but with Kiramman and Salo killed, the other councillors outvoted her and agreed to open the doors to Noxus.

Never seen Mel so angry, but then soon after that I just didn’t see Mel full stop. Missing for weeks! Terrifying. Thank god, I eventually returned from searching all over P&Z to find her waiting for me at the lakeside hut. She’s so different now. She hasn’t told me everything that’s happened yet. Now that she’s a mage, though – still getting used to that – I’ve finally felt that I can tell her about Jayce. She believes me. She wants to try to learn to channel the arcane better, connect to it through the Hexcore the way I do, possibly attempt to reach Jayce herself. First, though, she wants to go and gather support in Zaun to confront her mother and oust her from P&Z. I’ve decided to join her in that. Jayce agrees.

Still only able to catch glimpses of the other world. Sometimes it seems like we’re close to touching even more alternate realities. Jayce and I would be getting more done if we didn’t spend so much of our time together just… floating? It’s hard to describe. It’s the happiest feeling, though. But we wouldn’t be scientists if we didn’t keep pushing to discover more about what’s possible with the Hexcore.

If this is the last entry, whoever might be reading this, you can assume I was killed trying to free P&Z from tyrannous military control. Honestly, not the way I ever wanted to go, but if this is how Heimerdinger and the rest find out I’m still alive… what a comeback! Their faces might just be worth it.

~

Heimerdinger’s face was indeed worth it.

It’s been a rough couple of months, but P&Z are no longer Noxian-occupied. Mel ended up having to face her mother in battle, and Ambessa was injured so badly she barely survived. Caitlyn fought alongside Mel. As soon as that bomb exploded in the council chambers, Caitlyn knew it was a set up; she half-lives in Zaun these days and it certainly had nothing to do with the Firelights. She’s been ferocious in her quest for vengeance, to punish Ambessa for her mother’s death. It’s been worrying to watch, but I’m hoping that with Ambessa having limped back to Noxus, Caitlyn will be able to grieve properly and start to move forward.

I fought too, as well as I could. Two months ago I had never truly been in any kind of battle, and now it’s all I see when I close my eyes. I’m spending most of my time with Jayce. It all falls away when I’m with him. It’s tempting to simply not return to the ‘real world’, but Jayce reminds me frequently that we have loved ones in pain and needing help. I feel selfish for so often wishing I could just live in my little hut by the lake again and be with my husband. I’m tired, though.

Mel seems tired too. I think she wants to take some time off from serving on the council. It hasn’t been decided, but she’s been talking to Caitlyn about it. When Caitlyn was initially offered her late mother’s seat, she declined and campaigned for Sevika to fill the space instead as the first permanent Zaunite rep at the table. That’s still being debated, but Sevika has been granted an interim seat until things settle back down enough to vote on it properly. Almost certainly stalling tactics by those on the council who have no wish to grant Zaun any political power – Salo’s replacement is particularly vocal about this – but with Mel and Heimerdinger backing Sevika, she does have a chance of actually getting somewhere.

The glimpses that Jayce and I get of the other reality are becoming increasingly bleak. It’s hard to know if time works the same there, or if we’re even seeing things in order. It seems that the other version of me has become corrupted by arcane magic. Possibly to the point of insanity. The other Jayce is trying to stop him. I fear it won’t end well.

Viktor grimaces as he reads, wondering if it’s his own timeline being described. As he reads further, though, the entries describe visions of widespread destruction, of a Jayce who follows Viktor into the Hexgate failsafe begging him to listen and stop, of a confrontation that ends with Jayce – with everyone – taken into the Hexcore and stripped of their autonomy.

With a sick, sinking feeling in his gut, Viktor realises what he’s reading about. It’s the vision Jayce showed him, of the other reality he got stranded in. A corrupted statue-like shell of Jayce’s body, forever kneeling and clutching at his hammer, staring out across a dead world.

It’s what would have been in their timeline, if Ekko didn’t intervene, and Jayce wasn’t given the chance to get through to Viktor inside the Hexcore.

Drawing in a slow breath and sipping at his water to steady himself, Viktor reads on, learning how his other self not only strengthened the connection with other versions of himself, but also kept working on the ability to transport people through arcane power. The entries tell of the first experimental trip with Mel, followed by working on being able to send people elsewhere without accompanying them. The journal also details other Viktor’s discoveries regarding the metaphysical space he occupies when he’s linked with the Hexcore, where he seems able to communicate with Jayce’s… soul? The journal entries theorise that anyone’s soul could be reached and drawn into the arcane, and preserved there if the person’s body died.

Viktor feels like he’s barely keeping up with himself. He hunches over the notebook, frowning in concentration as he reaches an entry written in haphazard handwriting:

The impossible has become possible! I still don’t know how I did it, but it’s like I pushed in the right way at the right place with the right intention and I just… slipped through. Into the other world. But I wasn’t fully there, like I was some kind of ghost. I was more there than anywhere else, though. I could no longer see my own world. It was frightening. I had no idea how to get back, but thankfully Jayce was able to talk me through it and I was able to recreate what I did to journey there in the first place.

I tried again once I’d recovered. I think I could get the hang of slipping between worlds like that quite quickly, which is frankly insane to say, but here we are.

It’s too late, though. The other me… I don’t know exactly what happened to him, but he’s either dead or so enmeshed with his Hexcore that he no longer truly exists. The other Jayce was there, but so corrupted and mindless that he was little more than a preserved corpse. I sat with him for a long time. I wonder if the two of us are doomed. In my reality I got him killed, and in this other one I sentenced him to a living death. Possibly his soul, his mind, are within the fabric of the arcane; maybe his Viktor is floating with him there. I’d like to think so.

I know there are other realities out there, and we can see some of them clearly enough that I could slip through into those too. I hope I’ll find better fates for us in them.

Viktor swallows, knowing that his other self will be disappointed on that front. He’s proven right as he reads further. The journal reports grimly on visit after visit to dozens of realities, with the majority of them succumbing to a version of Viktor that lost control of himself and the Hexcore.

One entry talks about a Jayce who followed Viktor after he fused with the Hexcore, becoming his first devotee, only to end up his first victim. Another describes a world in which Viktor and Jayce split apart due to Viktor’s invention of the Hexcore, with Viktor fleeing to Zaun and Jayce taking up the mantle ‘Defender of Tomorrow’ and swearing to put a stop to Viktor. Another still describes a strange mirror reality where it was Jayce who fused with the Hexcore to try to gain the power to cure Viktor, with Viktor unable to stop Jayce from dooming everyone around them.

Depressingly, in all the realities that seem safe and prosperous, it turns out that Viktor and Jayce never met. In some, Jayce is not saved as a child. In others, he survives the blizzard without magical intervention and is never gifted the rune crystal, and therefore never develops his fixation on arcane magic, instead working in the Talis forge and only tinkering with his inventions in secret. In several others, Viktor never left Zaun. In one, Jayce was killed in the explosion that destroyed his apartment. In another still, Viktor was delayed on the way to offer to help Jayce continue to research Hextech, and Jayce took his own life minutes before Viktor arrived.

That last one in particular hurts to read about. Viktor grits his teeth at the description of another version of him struggling to piece together Jayce’s research, trying to continue it without the funding or support that having a popular and charismatic non-Zaunite research partner brought… eventually, losing his position at the Academy over it and having to return to Zaun. Living only a couple more years and dying in poverty, forgotten and alone.

So, the world would apparently be better off without the two of them together, without Hextech… yet without each other, it seems they’re either dead or miserable. The journal entries grow bleak as Viktor’s other self explores more worlds and still fails to find a single one where he and Jayce were able to live a full life together, with or without Hextech.

At the same time, though, the journal also talks about the way time is flexible and malleable when travelling between realities. The other Viktor learns to manipulate the timelines when he slips into other worlds, choosing roughly when to appear, able to move back and forward in time at will-

“Oh,” Viktor whispers, sitting up in excitement as he reads. “Oh. Jayce, I think he’s found us!”

He looks up, then blinks. Jayce is halfway through an enormous sandwich; a similar sandwich sits on the bench next to Viktor.

“You know what you’re like when you’re reading,” Jayce says, smiling at Viktor’s confused expression. “Not surprised you didn’t notice me making it, or see it being put in front of you.”

“Huh. Well, thank you. But, anyway, listen to this…”

I’m more and more certain that, because of the nature of the arcane and how the Hexcore facilitates consciousness within it, in every timeline where I become corrupted by the Hexcore my subconscious self is still preserved somewhere underneath. I haven’t seen a timeline where Jayce actually enters the arcane void and tries to speak to me there. Surely if he could, he might be able to get through to me and make me put a stop to the destruction.

I want to try to make it happen. I know it’s reckless. Jayce tells me I shouldn’t be meddling like this. But I have to at least attempt it.

I’ve found an interesting reality that I think could be the perfect set-up for what I want to try. In it, Jayce encounters a wild rune shortly after I fuse with the Hexcore. The Jayce in that world gets transported between realities, but he does it fully, not in a metaphysical projection form like me. He actually physically leaves his world and enters another! I’ve studied this and I think I could do it myself.

Anyway! I’ve found where this version of Jayce gets transported to, and fate has never seemed more real to me, because he seems to be in the very same destroyed world that I first travelled to when I initially learned to slip between realities. I assume in his timeline he’s doomed to die there, but I could step in. I know how to transport others. I know how to travel between worlds. I think I could send him back.

And if I do this right, I could send him back to stop his Viktor. To save their world together. Maybe that’s the happiest ending he and I can hope for.

Viktor looks up expectantly when he finishes. Jayce is leaning forward on both elbows, staring at the ground.

“So… I would have died there?” he mutters, eyes unfocused. “I was supposed to die there?”

Viktor frowns, disliking that idea immensely. “Or… perhaps my other self intervening was what was supposed to happen. What would have always happened.”

Jayce meets his eyes, his expression clearing a little as he inclines his head. “True. We just… have no idea how any of it works, do we?”

“That’s science,” says Viktor wryly, and Jayce laughs, and everything feels a little lighter. “I’m up to the final journal now.”

“Eat your sandwich first,” Jayce insists, so Viktor does, trying not to completely wolf it down but mostly failing. He doubts he’ll ever learn to eat at a normal pace.

He finds the last journal has more entries than the ones from the previous few years, all feverishly and excitedly detailing the progress the other Viktor is making with the skills he needs to go about his bizarre plan. He learns to move physically between worlds, although he finds it unpleasant and unsettling and taxing, and then he begins theorising about whether his actions will create new timelines or whether he was always part of events. It’s so similar to the conversation Viktor and Jayce just had that Viktor has to laugh.

One of the entries lays out the idea of potentially rescuing Viktor and Jayce – them, Viktor himself and his Jayce – by using arcane magic to pull them through into his alternate self’s world. It all feels bizarrely recursive, their realities and experiences mirroring and converging… it hurts his head a little. The next few entries are long and full of runework and complex what-ifs. In these entries, the other him muses on the likelihood that with Viktor so inextricably bound with the Hexcore that his physical form is entirely powered by it – and with he and Jayce in the arcane void – physically pulling them both through won’t work.

But if I’m right, physical bodies are not the be all and end all. If Jayce is within the arcane void and Viktor retreats there whilst speaking to him, their bodies could be killed but they would continue to exist metaphysically, as my Jayce does. I’ve been thinking a lot about the connections between alternate selves. They feel so strong, it’s like the mind and soul are shared. Could the essence of a person, once existing within the fabric of the arcane, be transported between worlds the way a physical person can? And since I can leave my physical body and then come back to it, could my alternate self not inhabit my body just as easily? The way the other Viktor inhabits the bodies of his followers? Maybe this is how I can save him. I suppose I would have to die, but I don’t think of it that way. I think of it as finally joining my husband, because that’s where my true self would go. Into the arcane, with my Jayce.

Viktor blinks back the sting in his eyes. It hits him, suddenly, what the man who wrote these pages has done for him.

The next journal entry works out the rough plan for the rescue his other self envisages: first, physically extracting Jayce’s unconscious body. Second, finding Viktor and Jayce within the arcane, and pulling them through to wake up in a new reality where they get a second chance. The other Viktor concludes that a powerful acceleration rune crystal will be needed on both sides of the transfer to make the physical part work; Jayce will need to be carrying one, like the one on his wrist…

It’s at this point that Viktor’s alternate self has the sudden, thunderstruck realisation that he was the mysterious mage who gave Jayce the rune crystal as a child. He becomes fixated on this responsibility, putting all else on hold, spending weeks travelling every day to as many timelines as he can where Hextech happened, diligently seeking out and rescuing little Jayce and his mother. The first few times he gives acceleration runes only, but then he decides that it would be more organic, more scientifically sound, to introduce different runes into different timelines. For the timeline of the Viktor and Jayce he’s trying to save, though, he ensures it is indeed the acceleration rune needed for transport between worlds to work.

It feels like Viktor’s breath is getting shorter as he reads closer and closer to the end, which for he and Jayce marked a miraculous new beginning. He reads through a recount of his alternate self confronting Jayce after trying to help him survive in the destroyed world, showing him the exact vision that Viktor himself would go on to see in turn.

He reads about his other self’s final visits: Caitlyn, Jinx, Ximena, Sky, even Heimerdinger. Last of all, Mel. The other Viktor explains his decision not to tell her his plan since he’s certain she’ll try to stop him (and, as an ever-more-powerful mage, she probably could). A goodbye tour, without any of them knowing.

He reads through anxious descriptions of the events of his own timeline playing out – including Jayce trying to kill him, which it turns out was not something the other Viktor expected or wanted to happen – and the despair that it was all for nothing if Jayce cannot get through to Viktor.

He reads his alternate self’s shock and hope as Ekko appears out of nowhere and changes everything. His frenzied description of how the physical reality of Jayce and Viktor’s destruction of their Hexcore played out: essentially, an implosion centred on the rune crystal embedded in Jayce’s wrist, which the other Viktor was only too ready to capitalise on by wrenching Jayce and Viktor physically into his world. It’s bizarre to experience, through his own words and in his own handwriting, a description of the augmented and monstrous version of himself Viktor became under the influence of the Hexcore’s corruption and his own delirium.

It's dead upon arrival, that body. Viktor’s life became dependent upon his Hexcore; when it was destroyed, his physical form ceased to function. The journal entry turns sombre at that point, describing burying the body out by the lake. Under the berry bush.

Viktor thinks back to sitting in the shade of that berry bush with Jayce only a few days beforehand. Sitting on his own grave. He shudders.

The final journal entry is surreal to read. The other Viktor has a checklist written down, ensuring the hut is well-supplied enough for two people to survive there for at least a short time. He talks about moving Jayce’s unconscious body to the side of the hut to make room for the small maelstrom of magic that will occur when he pulls Viktor and Jayce’s consciousnesses into his reality. He writes of his hopes for it to work, for them to be happy, for his own peaceful ending passing into the arcane:

I hope more than anything that it’s you reading this, Viktor. That I was able to give my life to you. Don’t think it hasn’t occurred to me that I could simply bring your Jayce across, wake him up in his own body, and continue living my own life with him by my side. But since you and I are so similar, I know we both understand the truth: we are different people. My Jayce and your Jayce are different people, too. Connected, moreso than any two people from one reality could ever be, but not exchangeable. I want to be with my love. And I know you want to be with yours.

Speaking of, I’ve left mine and Jayce’s wedding rings with Mel. I didn’t tell her why. Please be kind and gentle with her. She’s lost so much already. My one regret in all this is that I’ve had to leave her, too, but I think she’ll understand in time. Tell her I love her, and so does Jayce. Tell her we miss her. Tell her that I believe she will work out how to see us again. We’ll be waiting.

I don’t know how you and Jayce will handle this strange second chance. Whether you’ll stay, or whether you’ll work out how to travel home and leave. Either way, live a good life. I know you don’t think you deserve it. I want to tell you that I think you do. I forgive you, Viktor, and I hope one day you can forgive yourself. Until then, for me: be free.

Chapter Text

Mel has moved.

The journal had the address scribbled in the margin of the final entry, so they’re able to find her easily enough, but she’s not living in the penthouse apartment near the Council building that she occupied in their timeline. Why would she? The other Viktor mentioned in his writing that she’s on an extended – possibly permanent – break from Council work.

Instead, the address is for a surprisingly unassuming townhouse in a leafy inner suburb of Piltover. The front door opens onto the street, but it’s a quiet street. There’s a sleek black cat dozing in the wide bay window, beyond which Viktor can glimpse art on the walls and plants trailing down bookshelves. He stares blankly at the cat as they stand on the front step, Jayce’s fist raised to knock.

“I can’t,” mutters Jayce, blowing out a breath and lowering his hand. Viktor blinks and turns to look at him.

“What? Why?” he half-whispers. Jayce looks stricken and pale.

“For her, I’m dead, Viktor!” he whispers back, brows turned upwards in distress. “And she had that stuff happen with the, what was it, the Black Rose? They can shapeshift, right? What if she thinks I’m just-”

“OK, alright,” hushes Viktor, gripping Jayce’s arm and squeezing with what he hopes is a reassuring smile and not an anxious grimace. “I’ll knock, then, yes? You just… step up here, so you’re not visible from inside, and I can try to prepare her a little before she sees you.”

Jayce nods slowly, shoulders easing a little. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s- that works. Thank you, I know this is…”

“Jayce,” Viktor says firmly, “it is complicated and it is very strange, yes. But you care for Mel, and I… do not begrudge her that. Or anything. Besides, she deserves the truth.”

A small, warm smile creeps onto Jayce’s face, but he only dips his head and steps up to the spot Viktor indicated. Taking a deep breath, Viktor knocks sharply on the door, then starts counting the seconds in his head to stay calm. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven-

Quick footsteps, and the door is wrenched open.

Viktor’s first observation is that Mel doesn’t look the same, which is of course a stupid thought; not only is she five years older than the Mel he knew, but she exists in an entirely different timeline. She’s barefoot and dressed in a simple black sheath dress, her hair mostly down, her tattoos the only sign of gold on her, although she appears to have gained new gleaming markings on her face just as the Mel in their timeline did. She’s a little fuller-figured, a little more like her mother in her features.

His second observation is that when she opens the door, she’s already smiling, and her smile only glows brighter when she sees him.

“Viktor! I knew it was you from that stern little knock you do,” she laughs, stepping right up to him and cupping his face in her hands, almost as warm as her affectionate gaze. “I was just thinking about you earlier. You worried me, when I last saw you, you were… so…”

Her words and smile both falter as her eyes travel over his face, which is probably frozen in awkward surprise. Her hands fall away; she steps back, wary.

“What is it?” she asks, hands curling loosely into fists at her sides, as though ready for a fight. Viktor swallows, unsure how to proceed, but… well, he has to start somewhere.

“I’m not Viktor,” he says haltingly. “Well, I am, but I am not… the Viktor you know. There has been… he… he brought me here from… somewhere else.”

Mel has gone utterly still, eyes wide. “Oh, god. No, don’t- you can’t mean this. Viktor…”

“I’m sorry,” he says weakly, shaking his head, “but he- he is gone. He wanted me to tell you. He wanted you to know. And…”

He stops, needing to draw in another fortifying breath to keep going, because it looks like Mel might either break down or attack him any second- “He did not just bring me here. But, please, you- this will be a shock. Just… would you like to sit down first, or…?”

“No, I would not,” she says in a sharp, dangerous voice, eyes narrowing, and Viktor nods rapidly, a little frightened. Turning to Jayce and shrugging helplessly, he gestures for him to step into view.

Mel’s expression freezes when she sees Jayce, and then absolutely crumples. She opens her mouth soundlessly, eyes filling with tears, hands coming up to her trembling lips. Jayce makes a small sound, stepping towards her and reaching out, and Viktor watches with a sort of resigned weariness as they fall into each other’s arms.

It’s not like it used to be, though, he’s surprised and relieved to find. That bitter, jealous tug behind his sternum is half-hearted at best. He watches Mel bury her face in Jayce’s shirt and clutch at his waist, watches him murmur into her hair and stroke down her shaking back, and he thinks… fair enough. They love one another, across time, across worlds. Like he and Jayce do. Jayce has demonstrated, over and over, his absolute devotion. What Viktor feels for him is no less profound. How can it possibly matter, whether Jayce loves Mel too? After all, Viktor knows the truth now: Jayce didn’t choose Mel over him, in their own timeline. If anything, he chose Viktor, only for it to fall apart, and even then he took years to turn to Mel instead.

Still. When a good ten seconds has gone by and they’re still wrapped around each other, Viktor shifts on his feet and clears his throat pointedly, raising his eyebrows at Jayce’s slightly flustered glance as he gently pushes Mel away from him. She stares up at him like she’s trying to relearn his features in her mind.

“Perhaps we can all go and sit down,” Viktor suggests, “and Jayce and I can attempt to explain things to you, Ms Medarda.”

She blinks and turns to him, her shattered expression turning incredulous. “What did you call me?”

Jayce has the audacity to snort. Viktor, suddenly self-conscious, can feel himself turning pink as he stammers: “Ah, I- I mean… M-Mel.”

Mel stares at him for another few seconds, then swallows and nods, turning to lead the way through the house. She takes them to a plant-filled sunroom, warm with golden afternoon light. It’s very pleasant. Viktor and Jayce sit, awkwardly accept her equally awkward offer of water, whisper nervously to each other while she’s out of the room-

“You’re not my Jayce either, are you?”

They both jump. Mel stands there with two full glasses in hand, watching Jayce with sad eyes. Viktor glances at him as he slowly shakes his head, mouth set grimly.

“No. I’m sorry, Mel. I’m… we’re both from another timeline. I think these might help explain…”

He pulls out the journals, which are tied into a thick bundle once more, and passes them to her. She frowns down at them, running her thumb over the cord holding them together. Viktor, feeling increasingly claustrophobic, asks if there’s anywhere he can freshen up; Mel absently tells him he’s welcome to shower in any of the bathrooms upstairs. Exchanging a quick glance with Jayce to ensure it’s alright for him to leave them alone, Viktor flees.

He just… can’t stand the way Mel looks at him. The grief in her eyes.

He takes his time under the hot water, closing his eyes and sinking into luxurious sensation. It feels so strange on the numb, warped parts of him. When he’s dressed again, he pads quietly back downstairs and into the kitchen, seeking out another glass of water.

There’s a window over the kitchen sink, and from it he can see through the dusk-shadowed garden into the sunroom where Mel and Jayce sit, all lit up by the lanterns. He briefly debates with himself as to whether he ought to be watching them, but…

It looks intense. Jayce is clearly tearful as he speaks, probably trying to reassure Mel of something based on the earnest furrow between his brows. He ducks his head to catch her eye, turning his body to face her and drawing her hands between his, smiling tenderly at whatever she says in reply, eyes full of love and care.

It’s not even remotely a surprise when she leans in and kisses him. Viktor probably would have kissed him, too. What is a surprise is that Jayce kisses her back.

Viktor chews on his lip as he watches the passionate embrace, caught between familiar jealousy and… well. It’s sort of… weirdly fascinating. Jayce’s lashes flutter as he presses into the contact, his hands sliding from Mel’s bare gold-kissed shoulders up to touch her hair. They look good together. He thinks back to the journal entries hinting at the times the three of them had messed around together, he and Mel trading turns teasing Jayce, watching each other take him apart. When he read about it, he thought it seemed bizarre and surely an uncomfortable experience.

Maybe it is kind of hot, after all. Viktor can admit when he’s wrong.

Still. The part of him that still hasn’t moved on from bitter, jealous dislike of Mel Medarda growls and claws in his chest and belly at the sight of them. Jayce is his. Mel had her chance, she had her own Jayce, this is Viktor’s Jayce she’s kissing and touching and-

He exhales heavily as he watches Jayce break away from the kiss, gasping, bright-eyed and pink-cheeked. Mel cups his face, says something; he shakes his head and moves back from her, expression twisting with clear guilt. Viktor realises his fists have been clenched; when he releases them, his palms sting from his nails cutting into them. He shakes his head at himself, then sighs and makes his way through the house, towards the sunroom.

It's almost funny, how flustered they both are when he opens the door and steps in. Jayce rubs nervously at his thighs, eyes wide; Mel folds her hands in her lap and watches Viktor warily through her lashes. Viktor raises a brow, waiting to see what either of them will say.

“Viktor,” says Mel after several tense seconds have passed, “I already said this to Jayce, but you’re welcome to stay here tonight. I have a spare bedroom made up and ready.”

“I see. Thank you, that would be most welcome,” Viktor replies, dipping his head, then pauses before adding slyly: “Are Jayce and I both to be using the spare bedroom, or just me?”

They both blink in unison. Jayce looks ready to bolt. Mel narrows her eyes.

“You can both sleep wherever you’d like,” is all she says, holding Viktor’s gaze another moment before she looks away. “Jayce, would you like to go upstairs and find the bedroom? It’s the one with the dark blue walls. There’s a bathroom attached if you wished to wash up. I’ll put together some supper.”

“Uh,” says Jayce, eyes darting to Viktor, who nods shortly. “OK? Viktor…?”

“Go ahead,” Viktor assures him. Jayce looks at Mel, looks at Viktor, then gives a slow nod and pushes to his feet, grabbing their travel pack and bedroll. He glances back as he leaves the room, expression nervous. Viktor watches him go, then turns to Mel and levels her with a flat look.

“Yes,” she says, and she does have the decency to look genuinely contrite, “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have kissed him. I… forgot myself.”

Viktor sighs, moving to sit beside her. “You shouldn’t have, no. But… I cannot blame you. It must be overwhelming, seeing him again. Even if it’s not really him.”

Mel leans sideways against the seat back, propping up an elbow and rubbing tiredly at her forehead. “It is. It’s very confusing. I know it’s not my Jayce, I do, but… it’s still Jayce.”

Viktor leans back too, shaking his head with a wry huff of laughter. “Believe me, I understand how confusing this all is. And I also understand that in the past, the three of you shared an… arrangement.”

“Oh. Did… was it different, where you’re from?”

“Very different,” Viktor grimaces. He glances at Mel, who is watching him with an open and curious expression, and suddenly he feels the ghost of countless evenings like this, sitting with her, talking into the night, yet at the same time barely needing words because the understanding and care between them ran so deep. He swallows, holding her bright gaze. “I wish I could have… anyway. In my timeline, you and I barely spoke. When Jayce and I were together, you were… you were a threat, at least in my mind. And then after things ended between us, seeing him with you was- was hurtful. So, seeing him with you now... well. As we have both said. Confusing. Complicated.”

“Oh, Viktor,” Mel whispers, looking stricken. “I’m sorry.”

He shrugs. “Not your fault. I can admit that I was wrong about you. I was blinded by insecurity and envy. Although, to be fair, you did little to endear yourself to me even outside of your pursuit of the man I love.”

She laughs a little, shaking her head where it rests propped against her hand. “I can’t believe you’re the jealous one. It took me a long time to stop feeling miserable around the two of you. I wanted so much to get over Jayce and just be friends with you both. It turned everything upside down when you pushed us together, and then it was hard to believe or accept that you were really alright with it.”

“It’s hard to believe for me, too,” huffs Viktor. “But…knowing what I know now…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Mel interjects, reaching out and laying a hand on Viktor’s arm, catching his eye with a serious expression. “He pushed me away and told me it’s not going to happen. He’s not my Jayce. He’s yours. And if he feels anything for me… it’s an echo of whatever he felt for the other me. That’s all.”

Viktor nods slowly, then purses his mouth. “I was relieved to see him pull back. And… perhaps a little vindictively pleased.”

She rolls her eyes, giving him a small shove and then climbing to her feet. “Still petty, then. Some things never change.”

He scoffs, standing and following her as she moves up the hallway. “I am not petty…”

She laughs, entering her well-appointed kitchen and opening a wooden container to withdraw a loaf of bread. “No? I beg to differ…”

She begins telling some anecdote about the other Viktor, laughing as she talks. He finds himself with wine in hand, sitting at a stool across from her as she slices and spoons various foodstuffs onto a platter, shaking his head and groaning in secondhand embarrassment-

“Uh, hi?”

They both look up to see Jayce standing in the doorway, hair damp, dressed in a robe that clearly belongs to Mel. It barely covers his chest or reaches his knees. Viktor tilts his head at the sight, sipping his wine. He glances back as Mel gives a short bark of laughter, covering her mouth.

“Sorry, Jayce, we got distracted,” she smiles, her expression achingly fond as she looks him up and down. “The food is ready to go. You both must be tired, so I’ll put it on a tray for you to take upstairs. Here, take the rest of the wine, too.”

“Thank you,” Viktor says warmly, and he finds that he means it without reservation. Mel beams at him, eyes soft.

“You’re very welcome. Now, goodnight. Mustn’t keep your husband waiting any longer…”

She rolls her eyes, but Viktor catches his breath, blinking where he’s just stood up from the stool he was perched on. His husband. His husband. His husband. Not another Jayce married to another Viktor. His Jayce.

Oh. He likes that. He likes that a lot.

“Ah, that reminds me,” Mel says, reaching for the simple braided cord around her neck, the end of which disappears under her dress. Viktor swallows as she pulls it out to reveal two simple gold bands hanging from it, one larger than the other. Mel lifts it over her head and holds it out. “I think they would have wanted you two to have these.”

Viktor stands frozen, paralysed with yearning but unsure if it would be alright to-

“Thanks, Mel,” Jayce says quietly, stepping up beside Viktor and reaching out to clasp the rings in his hand. He takes the platter, too, leaving Viktor to clutch the wine to his chest, muttering goodnight as he follows his partner upstairs.

“This, um, this looks great,” Jayce comments as he leads the way into the dark-walled, lamp-lit bedroom and places the food tray down on the table under the window. He carefully lays the wedding rings on their cord beside the tray, then reaches up and scratches nervously at his neck, back still turned to Viktor, voice forcedly casual. “Mel always has the weirdest fancy foods. I don’t even-”

“Jayce,” Viktor cuts across him as he sets the wine down on the dresser and then sits on the bed, voice firm, “turn around.”

Jayce’s shoulders go tense, but he does as he’s told immediately, clutching at the table edge behind him, face pink and eyes wide. Viktor eyes him with interest, thinking that maybe dinner can wait-

“I kissed Mel,” Jayce blurts, and Viktor pauses. Sets his mouth carefully.

“I know. I saw.”

“I knew it,” Jayce mutters, dropping his gaze to the floor, half-dry bangs falling into his face, chest rising and falling rapidly with his sped-up breaths. “Shit, I- I didn’t mean to, and I stopped her, I-”

“I saw that, too,” Viktor says. “Jayce, come here.”

He probably should have made his voice softer, patted the bed beside him invitingly, because Jayce seems to completely misunderstand. He blanches, stumbles forward a few steps, then uses the bed to lower himself heavily to his knees in front of Viktor, brace creaking at the pressure. He sits back on his heels, hands fisted on his lap. He looks wild-eyed, anxious.

“Viktor, please,” he says desperately, and Viktor blinks dazedly, mouth going dry. That stupid little robe is barely even held closed at this point. Jayce doesn’t seem aware of what a fucking sight he makes as he blinks up with tears welling in his eyes, expression beseeching. “I don’t know what I’d do if I’ve fucked this up. I’m so sorry, I understand if you’re mad, but please, please don’t think this means-”

“Kurva- OK, stop,” Viktor interrupts, holding up his hands. “I am not angry with you.”

“You’re not?” Jayce breathes. He looks pathetically hopeful, on his knees to beg and plead, and Viktor thinks maybe there’s something a little wrong with him to feel so hot and breathless at the sight. He leans close, cupping Jayce’s cheek, thumbing at the edge of his beard. It needs fixing up, but he still looks good. He has quite possibly never looked better.

“Definitely not,” Viktor murmurs. He sees the exact moment Jayce registers the desire in Viktor’s eyes, watches his micro-expressions shift from worried, to surprised… to relieved.

“Oh,” he breathes, hands wrapping around Viktor’s calves, leaning into his touch, brow smoothing out. “I thought… with how you used to feel about her and me…”

“I will admit it bothered me a little,” Viktor murmurs, thumb touching Jayce’s lips, which part for him. “But it was also… interesting. And she kissed you, Jayce. You cannot be blamed for being so difficult to resist.”

Jayce swallows, blinking slow, his gaze rapt. “I am?”

“I think you know you are,” Viktor muses softly, running his hand down Jayce’s throat. Jayce’s pulse thuds heavily under his touch, his skin hot, his eyes going heavy-lidded. “Perhaps I misjudged. Perhaps you did invite Mel’s attention. You liked it when she touched you, hm?”

He sees Jayce hesitate, uncertain, so he softens the stern look he’s wearing, tilting his head and smiling. “I don’t mind, má lásko. Not when it’s her.”

Jayce’s gaze clears, pupils blooming as he relaxes and slides his hands up to Viktor’s thighs. He nods slowly, breathes affirmation. Viktor hums, bringing his free hand up to caress Jayce’s cheek and comb back through his hair, watching his eyes close and his lips part further.

“What were you planning to do, to earn my forgiveness?” Viktor asks softly. Jayce swallows, throat bobbing under Viktor’s palm, and when he opens his eyes again they’re almost black.

“Anything,” he whispers, rising up slightly on his knees, pushing against the firm hand on his throat. His hands tighten on Viktor’s thighs. “Let me- let me show you?”

Viktor smiles and lets his hands fall away, landing behind him on the bed to prop him up. He lets Jayce show him, thoroughly and enthusiastically, before he pulls him off the floor and into the bed, delighted to be able to do this on an actual mattress. It’s been far too long. Years too long. 

Their mutual enjoyment of the bed continues after they’ve cleaned up. They lounge against the pillows and each other, the tray of food absolutely demolished on the bedside table; they worked up an appetite, after all, and Mel’s strange assortment of various exotic and expensive pickles and spreads and cheeses and fruits was actually very tasty. They pass the almost-finished bottle of wine back and forth, Viktor’s head lolling on Jayce’s bare shoulder as he takes another swig and examines the wedding rings in his palm.

“Do you think they chose the runes themselves, or for each other?” he asks quietly, squinting at the tiny carvings on the insides of the gold bands.

“It said in the journals they gave each other the rings,” Jayce replies, taking the bottle, “so they must have chosen the runes for each other, too.”

“Part of me feels like Mel should keep them,” Viktor sighs, tilting his head into Jayce’s fingers running gently through his hair. Jayce hums in understanding.

“I know what you mean, but she remembers them in her own way. She has a tattoo, on her ring finger, did you see? A gold band, like these ones.”

“I didn’t see,” Viktor whispers, an ache in his chest at the thought. He wonders if she got the tattoo while the three of them were still together, or in memory of their Jayce. He’s distracted, though, by his Jayce.

“Vik… do you not think we could find a use for them?” Jayce murmurs against his temple. Viktor swallows, hand closing around the rings. “Someday? If you want.”

Husband.

Viktor twists around in Jayce’s arms, kissing him enthusiastically in reply, and it’s only Jayce’s quick reflexes that stop the wine from going all over the luxurious white bedding. The cord with the rings on it stays tangled around Viktor’s fingers as he rolls onto his back, laughing breathlessly at the tickle of Jayce’s beard against his neck, and he thinks he could stay in this bed forever. Or he could take Jayce back to their little hut by the lake and build a bed there. Or he could follow Jayce to his mother’s, or to the lab where Sky is trying to keep their legacy intact, or down into Zaun where Caitlyn and Jinx and a whole new generation of his people are fighting for a better future. Or the two of them could figure out how to travel back to their world, to face their failings and find their version of their family.

They can do it all, he decides. They can figure it out together. They can do anything they want, because the other Viktor’s wish for him, for them both, has come true.

They’re free.