Chapter Text
“Excuse me?”
Robin was dead and he was in hell. There was no other explanation.
George crossed his arms, smirking. “You heard me.”
“Listen here you-”
“Defensive.”
Miss Piggy’s eyes lit with anger. For a moment, she seemed completely speechless. Robin might’ve needed to step in. He’d really rather Miss Piggy not get any more jail time.
To his surprise though, before he could muster up anything, Chrissy spoke. “You’re not funny George.”
“I’m not trying to be funny, I’m asking the real questions.”
“Who would she even be cheating with? Fozzie?”
“They literally left her dressing room.”
To be fair, Robin was also curious. Miss Piggy wasn’t the type to let just anyone spend time in her dressing room. That was her sanctuary.
Miss Piggy finally retorted. “Are you stupid or what?”
George opened his mouth, but she just kept going.
“It’s no wonder none of you actually like each other, you’re insufferable little brats-”
Oh god.
“-and it shows. To think that your moronic little brain can’t wrap itself around the idea of two colleagues working together-”
Oh no.
“-is this how you treat your classmates when there are group projects? Do you accuse them of mashing faces just because they had to spend time together?”
Oh god no.
“Is it because you’ve never had friends, or is it because your parents don’t pay enough attention to you?”
To George’s credit, his face stayed in a slightly stunned expression the entire time. “I’m calling my mom.”
“Glad to know you have one.”
He got to his feet, phone in hand, and booked it. Robin watched him disappear around the corner with a pang of worry. Somebody needed to catch up before he ended up somewhere dangerous.
“Any other questions?” Miss Piggy spoke with her usual interview cheeriness.
The class stayed silent. After a moment, Amanda raised her hand.
“Is anyone else around to answer questions? Maybe Gonzo?” She glanced over at Robin.
Scooter finally rounded the corner. “Piggy.”
“Miss Piggy to you.”
“Did you make a kid cry?”
“Is he crying?” Another kid perked up.
Scooter looked as though his brain would start melting through his ears. “Can you zip it?”
The kid flinched.
“Sorry,” Scooted added, “if you can’t tell, things get pretty stressful here.”
“I’m not apologizing to that freak.” Miss Piggy muttered.
Scooter pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that. Are you all done eating? I think it’s time we move onto the next part of our tour!”
***
Robin could practically see the grey hairs sprouting from Scooter’s head as they walked. He took the class to watch Electric Mayhem do their sound check in the theatre. Robin hung back by the exit. Maybe now he could take a proper break from the stressful day he’d been presented with.
He slipped back through the door, making a beeline back toward the dressing rooms.
“-and she was so rude. She had NO excuse to talk to my son that way.” A voice crackled, as though coming from a phone speaker.
“We’re very, very sorry for what she said-” Fozzie was talking into the phone, which was on speaker. George sat with his arms crossed, eyes rimmed with red.
“I have every right to sue you for this.”
“I’m sorry ma’am, but this actually falls under our waiver.”
“Excuse me?”
Right. The permission form had come with a waiver. His teacher hadn’t given him one, he didn’t exactly need it.
“This is covered by the waiver you signed.”
“... what?”
“This is covered-”
“I heard you the first time, you mean the safety waiver? The waiver about the equipment?”
“Yes, that waiver.”
The phone went dead silent. Fozzie gave Robin some mischievous side eye.
The woman on the phone sighed. “Okay. Fine. But I’m coming to get him.”
“We’ll make sure someone waits for you outside with him.”
The call ended. Fozzie handed the phone back to George. “I really am sorry about this.”
“I knew she was mean, but I didn’t think she was mean like that. She’s not mean like that to you on the show.”
Robin awkwardly stepped closer. “You really couldn’t have thought that was gonna go well.”
“But-”
“She doesn’t know you.” Fozzie patted George’s head. “With the Muppets, she knows when we’re teasing.”
“It’s not personal,” Robin lied. That was definitely personal.
George shut his eyes. “Can you just take me outside?”
“Security is already on the way.”
“Dumb waiver.”
Two pairs of small, pattering footsteps echoed through the hall. Robin turned.
“Aw shucks, what happened to the little squirt?” Rizzo approached like he owned the place, Pepe not far behind.
George shot him a glare. “I know you didn’t just call me a little squirt.”
“Whoa, attitude.” Pepe waved a finger. “Hermano, that wasn’t nice.”
“Is everyone in your family like this?” George gave Robin a pointed stare. “Always trying to teach a lesson?”
Robin scrunched a little. “Not usually.”
“That’s cause you’re a good kid.” Pepe put an arm around him. “This guy... not so much.”
Frustration was really beginning to pile up, Robin couldn’t deny it anymore. He flinched away from Pepe, took off, and didn’t look back.
***
His other favourite place to hide at the studios was underneath the stage. Sometimes, set pieces got stored down there, but not today. It was nice and empty, hollow and warm.
The stage creaked with movement, probably stage crew resetting before the show. It still wasn’t scheduled to start for a few hours, but Electric Mayhem were always the last to do soundcheck. That also meant his class definitely had left the area. Peaceful. Quiet, but not lonely.
Robin laid on his back, eyes closed to avoid the dust that sometimes fell when people walked across the stage. To him, this was white noise. The mumbling chatter, the muffled laughter, it was a lullaby.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
And there it went.
Gonzo laid beside him. “Tough day?”
Robin just hummed.
“I hear you.”
And then it was back to the quiet.
Robin started to get lost in it all, Chrissy’s attitude, Amanda’s (he still wasn’t sure if he was remembering her name correctly) switch-up, George’s comment, the way his class seemed to want to cannibalize each other. Something burned in him, some desire to get back at them. He couldn’t quite place it yet, but he knew he was very bothered.
Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and he tried to swallow down the emotion.
“Talk to me.” Gonzo spoke again.
“It’s nothing.”
“Do you want me to get Kermit?”
Robin’s eyes shot open. “No.”
“Then you’re gonna have to talk to me.”
He studied Gonzo for a minute, and in his concerned expression, Robin found something he’d been sorely missing all day: authenticity.
It was enough to shatter the rest of his composure. Robin burst into a sob.
“Whoa, hey, I’ve got you.” Gonzo pulled him over. “It’s okay.”
“I hate the way they’re treating you. All of you.” He buried his face into his knees. “They always talk about the Muppets like they’d love to meet you, and then they finally do and they’re just rude. I don’t get it. It’s like they don’t know you’re people!”
“There’s a lot of disconnect between viewers and performers, especially when the viewers have young, developing minds.”
“They’ve been nothing but horrible all day. George was asking all sorts of invasive questions like Miss Piggy was his personal entertainment, and don’t even get me started on Chrissy.”
“The girl from the demonstration?”
“Her friend was trying to humiliate her by making her fail in front of you.”
Gonzo snorted. “In front of me? Does she know who I am?”
“It’s cause Chrissy has a crush on you or something.”
“Okay, that’s pretty shitty.”
Robin sniffled. “I don’t like that she used you to get some kind of weird social leg up, and frankly, I really don’t like that anyone in my class would try to use you for anything. It’s really like they don’t see you all as real people.”
“They’ll learn eventually,” Gonzo assured, “and they’ll look back at today and be very embarrassed.”
“I guess...”
“We’re adults, we can handle some rude kids.”
“I can’t.” Robin grumbled.
“Good thing you’ve got a ton of family to back you up.”