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Language:
English
Stats:
Published:
2025-04-01
Completed:
2025-04-25
Words:
2,054
Chapters:
18/18
Comments:
88
Kudos:
47
Hits:
876

There’s no kale anywhere

Summary:

David Rose is sent to Schitt’s Creek for Rehab. These are his letters to his sister.

Notes:

I’m celebrating Schitt’s Creek week in my own way, all month long. Please enjoy. This chapter is dedicated to my favorite character

Chapter 1: David Rose

Chapter Text

Dear Alexis,
This rehab is the absolute worst.  First of all it’s in this tiny hole in the middle of nowhere.  Second of all, they have absolutely no towels.  I have not seen a towel since I arrived. I keep on asking the concierge for towels and she just looks at me.  She is so rude! 
Second of all, my therapist is some snippy youth pastor in midranges jeans! He is absolutely the worst! Do you know what he did when I told him I could not find my phone? He made me take a Yoga class! Please save me!