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T: Oooooh, Sevatar, how much did you charge for that stuff back in Nostramo?
S: More than your mother did in Cthonia, Torgaddon.
T: Well, duh, my mother never had an ass that good. Hey, Loken, don't you agree that's the best silk-covered ass that graced the Legions Astartes since the first geneseed was transplanted?
L: I....I mean, with no intention to insult the First Captain, this is a truly well-formed behind, sir.
S: Your intention is very much appreciated, Captain Loken, much less so your role in aiding and abetting this Cthonian lerra in convincing me to take part in this, and next time I find you in the training cages, I fully intend to kick your own nondescript behind into the dirt and drag it around until it's red as World Eater armor.
T: Hey now, Sevatar, don't go around scaring Loken. You do look Imperially pretty in silk. I mean, I know I have all the best ideas, but damn, this time I outdid myself.
S: Don't go around telling this to your First Captain. Usually he is the one who does you out. He will be sad to know you figured out how to go fuck yourself.
T: I cannot understand how such a splendid creature can be so cruel. But then all great beauties are.
S: Torgaddon, I'm going to-
K: Where did you even get this thing, Luna Wolf? Sneaking a dress in the ship is a feat alone, but Astartes-sized?
T: Oh, I asked Ahriman to help! He was very obliging, especially when he learned what this was about.
K: Hm. Wouldn't have taken this witch for one to get involved in your ridiculous games. He's supposed to be all serious and mysterious and mimicks waving a staff around while chanting gibberish.
L: Apparently, they do this kind of thing in the Thousand Sons all the time. Their Primarch is very into this as well.
S: What, crossdressing? I am shocked, shocked I tell you.
L: No...! Well, that too, but I mean practical pranks.
T: Thousand Sons sound so cool. Wish we could still be doing practikums in other legions, I'd love to go spend some time with them.
K: They're witches, and you're not, Torgaddon. They'd be having the time of their life with you.
S: Of course, this may be just what you want.
T: Well, they're not bad-looking....and also, I do not answer unsubstantianted slander.
S: "Unsubstantiated slander...."
K: Maybe you should make a habit out of it, Sevatar. Midnight clad in silk suits you even more than midnight clad in ceramite. You could even make a shawl out of human skin, or whatever it is your lot usually does....
S: Khârn. Why the fuck are you even here?
K: No reason. I just found you in here, dressed in a dark blue silk dress with a slit going up to your asscrack and a decolletage hanging down to your navel, and I stayed to watch whatever show you're putting on. Pity I've not got any aquilas on me, or I'd have shoved some....wherever I found most convenient actually.
L: Why does he know how to say "decolletage"?
T: I don't know, Khârn scares me sometimes.
K: Careful you two, the Nails start going off.
T: Oh,no, not now! You're gonna ruin Sevatar's beautiful dress! Sev, do you think we should apply a little make-up to hide that scar before we put on lipstick?
K: No, no! It makes him hotter!
S:...Just remind me again why I decided to agree to this absolute travesty of my dignity as First Captain and son of the Night Haunter?
K: True, I didn't get to hear what this is supposed to achieve.
T: Of course, of course! You need a reminder what's at stake here. So, the other day, I totally at random went up to Ezekyle and told him "you wanna bet I can get Jago Sevatarion to put on a dress?"
K:..Just like that?
T: Ah, but at that moment, Aximand, with whom I'd talked things out, said "You're gonna lose, Tarik", and I said "No, I'm not", and Aximand said "I'm betting you won't make Sevatarion do it", and then Ezekyle said "The ork are you two on about?" and I said "Aximand bet against me managing to dress Jago Sevatarion in a dress", and he said " A very wise choice, probably", and I said "Then are you willing to bet too?" and he said "What if we win?" and I said "I'll put on Terra-designed silk female undergarments, and if you lose, you'll do the same."
L: And then Aximand immediately said "Bet", and then Abaddon couldn't not say yes, because then he'd look, as Tarik put it, like a "pussy".
K:.....so wait, all this thing is about.....
T: Putting Abaddon in women's underwear, yes!
L: Tarik also upped the stakes, the loser has to go out dressed like that, once the Warmaster calls the next meeting in the strategium.
K:....Abaddon is going to crush your skulls into fine white powder.
T: Well, he can try.
L: I trust Tarik when he says he won't succeed.
S: That is a bad idea that you are going to regret, most likely.
K: And what do you get out of it?
S: Me? Oh, I got no dignity anyways, also I'll be feeding off Abaddon's embarassment for months. I'm already compiling in a little book a list of insults for the next time we're doing a public fight. The brothers have volunteered to help repeat them from the stands as well. Damn....the Schadenfreude makes my Betcher's glands itch right now.
K:...
L: You are a bad person, Captain Sevatar.
S: You are entirely too kind. Not to mention, that dress is not even the worst thing I've been caught in...it's actually pretty comfortable...and airy....but that's a story for another time.
K:....right. And Aximand? Won't he have to do the same?
T: Yeah, but don't worry, he's into this anyways.
K:....you are all mad there in the Luna Wolves. Imagine Lupercal's face when his First Captain and Aximand walk into the strategium dressed like Terran prostitutes. My Primarch would have murdered all those present and half of those outside if that happened.
L:....yes, I don't think this is going to be a problem for Ezekyle and Little Horus.
S: How so?
T: Who do you think put us up to this?
S,K:......
L: Yes, apparently Lord Fulgrim lured the Warmaster and Sanguinius into making a bet.....