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“I have a girlfriend.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do.”
“No you don’t.”
“Yes I do.”
“Kojiro,” Kaoru finally says with all the seriousness a seven-year-old can muster. “You do not have a girlfriend.”
Kojiro tries his very best not to pout and fails. “Yes I do!”
“Do you even know what a girlfriend is?”
“Yes,” Kojiro says with a sniff. “It’s a friend who’s a girl.” When Kaoru’s stare flattens, Kojiro rushes to continue. “And—and we hold hands and stuff.”
Kaoru frowns at him. “We’re holding hands right now.”
Kojiro looks down to find that they are, in fact, holding hands.
“But you’re not a girl.”
“Obviously,” Kaoru sniffs before looking away.
“So you can’t be my girlfriend,” Kojiro points out.
“Obviously.”
“Then why are you so upset?”
“I’m not upset,” Kaoru snaps, pulling his hand away to cross his arms over his chest and turn away. “Stupid!”
“Mama says stupid is a bad word.”
Kaoru pauses before huffing quietly. “It’s okay if I say it, because I’m your best friend.”
Kojiro thinks for a moment, then shrugs. “Okay.” He holds his hand out again, and after a moment of Kaoru glaring at it, Kaoru takes his hand.
“So you have a girlfriend,” Kaoru finally concedes. “You know what that means, right?”
“Sure I do,” Kojiro says, even though he kind of doesn’t. Kaoru must be able to pick up on it, because he continues with a knowing glance at Kojiro.
“You have to get married.”
Kojiro comes to a complete stop. “Like… forever?”
“Like forever,” Kaoru confirms solemnly.
Kojiro’s eyebrows furrow together. “I… don’t want to be married with her forever.”
Kaoru shrugs. “I guess you need to break up with her, then.”
“But… but then I can’t get any girlfriends!”
Kaoru tilts his head to the side.
“I don’t want to spend forever with anyone like that,” Kojiro blurts out. “Not unless it’s you!”
Kaoru stares at him. Oddly, his face starts to turn the same color as his hair. After a few moments, he turns away and coughs.
“I guess,” he starts slowly, “I guess you could marry me.”
Kojiro’s eyes grow wide. “Really?”
“Not now,” Kaoru says sternly, still turned away. “Later, when we’re old and stuff. And only if you’re not annoying then.”
“Old and stuff,” Kojiro repeats. “So like 20?”
Kaoru wrinkles his nose. “No, like 30.”
“That’s too far away,” Kojiro whines. “25?”
“...29.”
“26?”
“28.”
“27?”
Kaoru hesitates. “...fine.” He squeezes Kojiro’s hand. “But only if you’re not annoying.”
“You annoying pain-in-the-ass bastard—”
“I think the only pain in the ass here is you, pinky—”
“Would it kill you to watch where you’re going—”
“It’s not my fault your girlfriend was in the way—”
“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s Carla—”
“Oh, what’s the difference, anyway—”
“The difference is pretty damn clear if you ever bothered to use your brain, you massive imbecile!”
Kojiro watches, fairly amused, as Kaoru stomps away. He usually manages to keep a calm demeanor at S, but it looks like Kojiro has managed to make quite a large crack in his typical facade. It only takes a few moments after he’s angrily stalked away that someone else takes the spot beside Kojiro.
“Cherry seems pretty mad,” Langa says, clutching his board in one hand. His worried gaze darts between Kaoru’s quickly retreating form and Kojiro. “Are you guys okay?”
“He’s fine. He’s just being pissy.”
Langa’s frown doesn’t disappear. “Are you sure? It feels like you’ve been arguing a lot recently…” He trails off. “More than usual.”
Langa isn’t wrong. Kojiro’s been noticing Kaoru’s shorter-than-usual temper as of late, too, and he has a few guesses as to its cause—most namely, Kaoru’s 27th birthday, coming up in just a few weeks. He figures Kaoru would be entirely appalled to find out that Kojiro had revealed this information to Langa, so he decides to stay quiet to avoid another literal ass-kicking.
“We’re fine,” Kojiro reassures, before ruffling Langa’s hair with a hand. “You don’t need to be worried about us.”
Langa ducks his head but doesn’t quite manage to avoid having his hair mussed up. With a last glance at Kojiro, he heads off to where Reki waves excitedly at him. Kojiro lets his grin drop and sighs.
He wasn’t stupid, no matter how much Kaoru liked to say otherwise. He knew that Kaoru’s birthday was coming up. He knew that Kaoru knew that his birthday was coming up. He knew that they both knew what they had promised each other 20 years ago. If it was anyone else, Kojiro would jump on the fact that their makeshift deal was concocted so many years ago to discredit it. But it’s Kaoru, so Kojiro would like to do anything but. He’d be lying if he didn’t say an embarrassingly large part of him has been counting down the days.
He has, at least. He figures Kaoru very much has not been.
Actually, he was mostly under the impression that Kaoru didn’t remember their childhood promise at all. The only thing that’s indicated to Kojiro that he does is his odd behavior in recent weeks. He’s always been quick to pick a fight, but recently, he’s been even quicker. Kojiro doesn’t mind, not really—he’s used to their push and pull, and he can react to Kaoru’s biting insults with ease, but it does indicate to Kojiro his displeasure at the idea. Not that Kojiro had expected anything else, but it does sting a little when Kaoru retreats with a scowl after each of their encounters.
Maybe Kaoru would relax after his birthday had passed. He was probably just antsy about the possibility of Kojiro bringing it up—but Kojiro’s spent more than a few sleepless nights pondering it, and he’s decided that it isn’t worth it to even bring it up, not when he can picture Kaoru’s reaction to it perfectly. No, Kojiro wouldn’t be the one to bring it up—and Kaoru, if the way he refuses to talk to Kojiro for the rest of the night is any indication, certainly wouldn’t be either.
“Why’re you guys so weird?”
Kaoru looks up from his wine glass to give Miya an unimpressed look.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re acting weird,” Miya repeats bluntly, before taking a loud sip from his protein shake. “Both of you.”
Kojiro has the feeling he knows where this conversation is going. He clears his throat as a sign to tell Kaoru not to engage, but Kaoru narrows his eyes.
“Weird how?”
“You’re arguing,” Miya says with a wave of his hand. “Like, all the time. Earlier you would only argue most of the time.”
Kaoru’s eyebrows raise. “And that distinction is important because…?”
“Because it’s weird,” Miya stresses. His eyes dart between the two. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on,” Kojiro responds even as Kaoru opens his mouth. “We’re fine.”
Miya gives him a skeptical look before turning to Kaoru. Kaoru’s lips purse. He swirls his wine glass absentmindedly before speaking up.
“I turn 27 soon.”
Kojiro’s next inhale almost goes down the wrong pipe. He coughs a bit and tries to mask his surprise with a hand over his mouth. Kaoru doesn’t even glance his way. Miya does—just one pointed look before he goes back to staring at Kaoru.
“So?”
“So, this gorilla and I made a promise for when we were both 27.” Kojiro cannot believe Kaoru’s willingly talking about this. He’s been terrified to even hint at it around him—and here Kaoru is, offering it up of his own volition. Kojiro can only watch, stunned, as Kaoru takes a sip of wine. “It’s been on my mind, I suppose.”
Miya looks so intrigued Kojiro can basically visualize the tail of his hoodie curling up in anticipation.
“What promise?”
Finally, Kaoru glances at Kojiro—just for a second before he looks into his glass.
“That we’d get married.”
Miya does not seem nearly as shocked as Kojiro would expect. Instead, he only blinks.
“You guys aren’t married yet?”
Kaoru and Kojiro both turn to stare at him. Miya shrugs.
“...no,” Kaoru responds slowly, squinting at him. “Why would you…” He trails off. “Never mind. I’d rather not know.”
Speak for yourself, Kojiro doesn’t say. He thinks he’d actually quite like to know where Miya’s getting that impression from, but he manages to keep quiet.
“Sooooooo,” Miya eventually drawls out after a long silence. “What’s the problem, again?”
“There won’t be any problem,” Kojiro finally speaks up. “It was… it was 20 years ago, anyway, it’s not like I—” still want to, he means to finish, but the words don’t make it past his throat. He snaps his mouth closed. “It’s not like it means anything.”
Kaoru snorts. “That’s not what you sounded like then.”
Kojiro blinks. “Huh?”
“You were terribly excited about it 20 years ago,” Kaoru says, a strange look in his eyes. He leans in, and Kojiro can recognize it—a challenge, but also something else Kojiro can’t place. “Desperate, almost.”
Kojiro immediately grows defensive. He doesn’t know what Kaoru’s playing at, but he doesn’t like it.
“Desperate?” he asks, leaning forward himself. “That’s not how I remember it.”
“Oh?”
“No,” Kojiro hums, “in fact, wasn’t it your idea in the first place?”
Kaoru pulls back, turning away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well, I do.” Kojiro knows these facts better than the back of his own hand—he’s run that interaction through his mind countless times. “It was your idea.” He pitches his voice higher in a falsetto impression of younger Kaoru. “I guess you could marry me.” He drops to his regular tenor and raises an eyebrow. “Ring any bells?”
Kaoru’s face pinkens. All these years later, that much hasn’t changed.
“Idiot,” he hisses. “I only offered at all because you were so pathetic about it. Whining like the crybaby you were—”
“I was seven years old—”
“That’s no excuse to act so blubbery—”
“I wasn’t even that upset about it, you were the one who jumped to offering to marry me—”
“You’re the one who said you only wanted me!”
Kojiro falters for a split second. He hadn’t expected Kaoru to remember this much detail—but he couldn’t give himself up, not here.
“What,” he forces out with an obviously faked laugh, “and you thought I still do?”
Something in Kaoru’s expression shifts. His eyes harden.
“Do you have any idea what a pig-headed, narcissistic, absolute slob you are—”
“Yeah, actually, I do, because you tell me every goddamn day—”
“Which I wouldn’t have to do if you weren’t so imbecilic all the time—”
“You’re running out of insults, Kaoru—”
“Your—your face is running out of insults—”
“See? You’re losing your creativity. Imbecilic, idiotic, narcissistic, I’ve heard it all, come on, give me something new—”
“You want something new?” Kaoru asks, slamming his hands on the counter. “Huh?”
“Yeah,” Kojiro goads, leaning in until their noses are all but touching. “Come on, Kaoru.”
“You want to kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid,” Kaoru blurts out in a rush. Kojiro’s mouth falls open. Before he can think, before his mind can catch up to his mouth, because he always, always has to respond to Kaoru’s pushes with a pull—
“Yeah, well, maybe I fucking do.”
This time, it’s Kaoru’s mouth that falls open.
They stay there for a few moments—breaths apart, gaping at each other.
A quiet cough sounds from the corner of the restaurant. They both turn to find Miya staring at them.
“I’ll… see myself out.”
Kojiro, for his part, is much too dazed to even offer a farewell. Based on Kaoru’s silence as Miya casually strolls out of the door, Kaoru is, too.
It takes a bit more than a few moments for them to actually move. Kaoru moves first, pulling away sharply when he does. He doesn’t look Kojiro in the eyes as he begins to stand up.
“I’ll see myself out, too.”
“Wh—no, Kaoru, wait,” Kojiro says quickly when Kaoru actually rises from his seat. “No, no, no, wait—wait, we should… we should talk about this—”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kaoru responds sharply. “You’ve made your stance on this whole mess quite clear, Kojiro.”
…right. Blurting out that he wanted to kiss Kaoru probably did the trick.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” Kojiro tries. “I didn’t mean to—I swear, it just came out—it doesn’t have to change anything.” As if there was any way Kaoru would believe that.
Kaoru huffs out something like a bitter laugh. “You’re right.” Kojiro brightens. “It doesn’t change anything.” That was good. Maybe there was still hope—but then why did Kaoru look so distraught about it?
“Why… why do you seem upset?”
“God, Kojiro.” Kaoru brings a hand to his eyes. “Why do you think?”
Kojiro bites the inside of his cheek. “Because you don’t… feel the same.”
Kaoru chokes out a laugh that sounds a bit more like a sob. “Yeah.”
Kojiro cannot for the life of him understand why Kaoru sounds so distressed. If anything, shouldn’t Kojiro be the one upset? Getting confirmation that Kaoru didn’t feel the same as him should make Kojiro feel wretched. Instead, he just feels… confused.
“Kaoru,” he starts slowly. “What exactly are we talking about right now?”
Kaoru glares at him. “What sort of stupid question is that?”
“Spell it out for me,” Kojiro says. “Please.”
Kaoru’s lips twitch. He obviously wants to say no, but something in Kojiro’s expression must change his mind.
“I thought you still did,” Kaoru murmurs quietly. “It’s—it’s stupid, but I thought, maybe, you were still…”
“I was still…?”
“You said not unless it was me.” Kaoru inhales slowly. “I thought it was still true.”
Kojiro blinks. “You… you want it to be true?”
Kaoru looks away. “Foolish, I know.”
“Kaoru,” Kojiro says helplessly. “Did you—did you not hear me just say I wanted to kiss you?”
Kaoru frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“What does that have to do—Kaoru, I thought that’s what we were talking about.”
“...that’s not something that warrants conversation,” Kaoru says eventually. “I said something stupid, you said something stupid in return. That’s all.”
“No,” Kojiro blurts out. “I meant it. I meant that, but I didn’t mean—” Kojiro cuts himself off with a frustrated noise. “Of course it’s still you.”
“...Kojiro?”
“If I had to spend forever with someone,” Kojiro starts again quietly, “of course it would be you. There’s no one else.”
Kaoru squints at him. “But you just said—”
“I was scared to tell you. God, Kaoru,” Kojiro says with a breathless laugh, “I was terrified.”
“Oh,” Kaoru says quietly. He watches Kojiro carefully for one moment, then another. “You do want to kiss me.”
“I really, really do.”
Kaoru tilts his head to the side. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?”
“I’ve only ever been waiting for you, Kaoru.”
“Sappy idiot,” Kaoru mutters, but the light flush on his cheeks betrays him. “Shut up and kiss me, would you?”
Kojiro is far too happy to oblige.