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Touya had been born over two months early.
He was so, so small and fragile - and Rei had felt her heart shatter when she couldn't even hold her baby boy. He was taken away to be given the best chance at survival, she knew, but it hurt so terribly.
She was left feeling empty, mostly alone in the hospital room apart from the times she spent down in the nicu, watching his little chest rise and the way he tried to grasp onto the small toy that he had.
Being able to see him kept her sane.
She took in every detail, his round, soft cheeks that reflected her own rather than Enji's, his cute little button nose, later on his pretty, blue eyes.
She would always remember the day she finally got to hold him - for however long she lived.
Enji was there in the room, but her focus was on Touya, breathing steadily as he lay wrapped up in Rei's arms. As she pressed a small kiss to his head, where there were the smallest few fluffy strands of red, he cracked open his beautiful eyes.
"Hi." She whispered to her son as he kept his attention on her, despite looking so sleepy. "You're so beautiful."
Touya let out a quiet cooing sound and Rei felt her heart melt. "We'll take you home soon my darling.."
She wanted to take him home right then, but she knew they couldn't. He was still small and they couldn't risk anything.
"I love you." She murmured and pressed another kiss to his forehead.
It was another few weeks before they were able to take him home, putting him into a padded, comfortable car seat as he held onto a small teddy. Rei sat in the back of the car with him despite Enji's complaints, wanting to be near her son after so long of waiting.
A part of her was still worried about him too, wanting to stay close to keep him safe.
After finding out she was pregnant, she'd been concerned that she wouldn't feel such a way. She was eighteen, a time where most were still finishing school and planning where they'd go to college. It worried her, that she might not feel connected to her baby.
But looking at him now, she loved him more than anything else.
She loved his tiny hands in her own, she loved his pretty blue eyes, she loved how he made quiet noises at her. She loved him.
Once they were finally home, Enji carried Touya inside followed by their bags, letting Rei follow after them. They spent the afternoon doting on their son, making sure that he was comfortable and happy.
He was quite a quiet baby, even when he was upset, it was more little whimpers and cries than the ear piercing sobbing that Rei had heard from other babies.
He settled into their quiet house well.
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It had been a couple weeks since they'd taken Touya home, and he fit in perfectly, quickly getting used to the change in environment.
He was lying on a soft blanket on his tummy, with Rei lying beside him when he gave her a proper gummy smile, his eyes and nose scrunched up as he did - showing just how content he was.
"That's the prettiest smile I've ever seen." Rei smiled back, stroking his slightly pink cheeks.
She hoped to make him smile every day - always.
Touya let out a content giggle when she lifted him up and put him on her chest, his little fist holding onto her jumper.
"You're so cute."
It was still chilly out, so she'd dressed him in a fluffy bunny baby grow that he seemed to have taken to. When she'd seen it in the store, she just had to get it - even if Enji had said it looked feminine.
Touya liked it and that was all that mattered to Rei.
"I'm excited to see you in all of the outfits we've brought you." She didn't recieve much of a reply other than little noises, but she still found him more enjoyable to speak to than Enji. She didn't worry, speaking to her son.
"Mama loves you so much.."
He made all of the pain of the arranged marriage and the difficult pregnancy worth it, and she would be okay, as long as she always had her little boy.
He looked at her with bright blue eyes before snuggling against her chest, yawning.
"Seems like someone's ready for a nap."
Rei slowly got up with Touya securely in her arms, bouncing him lightly as she moved to the crib.
Touya was a sleepy baby, and it gave her the chance to get some naps in too, more relaxed while Enji was away doing hero work.
She lay him down in the crib and stroked his cheek gently, smiling as he stretched his little legs and arms out, yawning again at the same time.
"Sleep well, my darling."
She made sure to close the curtains but turn on his lamp, taking one more look at his sleepy face and then leaving the room, a nap of her own calling.
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"I'm sorry." Rei whispered to her son, holding him close more so to comfort herself, rather than him.
She was still tired from having Touya, her body hadn't recovered. But there was no doubt when all of the tests came back positive.
"I'm so sorry baby..I-I'm still going to give you all the attention you deserve." She knew that he didn't understand, but she had to get it off her chest - at least to someone.
He looked up at her with a little whimper, his bottom lip wobbling.
"It's okay..we're okay."
They would be fine, she could keep herself distracted for now, stay busy until she truly had to confront it.
"Let's go and have a bath, okay?"
It seemed to calm him down, watching as Rei filled up the small baby bath while continuing to hold him close. She checked the water temperature a few times before getting him out of his babygrow and nappy.
"Ready?"
He gurgled and waved his arms around, so Rei took it as a yes, lowering him into the warm water.
Carefully washing his body and little tufts of red hair helped her to forget about the pressing matter of another baby that was starting to grow inside of her. It wasn't as if she didn't want to give Touya a sibling..Just not so soon.
Enji didn't seem to share the same beliefs.
"Look at you." She smiled softly at the soap suds on his head while he splashed the water with his small hands, enjoying his time and smiling away - unaware and so very innocent.
After making sure that he was all washed, she put some baby toys into the bath that he happily entertained himself with, splashing and giggling.
He was smaller than other three month olds, but he was steadily growing, no longer in any danger like he had been as a newborn.
It warmed her heart, knowing that he was healthy and growing.
She couldn't help but wonder who he would turn into as he grew, who he would become.
Whoever that was, she would love him unconditionally.
Rei let him splash about in the water for a while longer, before lifting him out of the bath with a murmured 'sorry' as he whined, and wrapping him in a soft baby towel once the water began to cool.
She dried his soft skin and fluffy hair before taking him into her bedroom, finding out a soft blue and a green babygrow.
"Which one do you wanna wear?"
As she put him down on the bed near them, he looked over his options and then closed his fist around the leg of the blue one.
"Good choice my darling."
After getting him changed and into the new onesie, Rei held him in her arms and lightly tickled under his chin, earning a happy squeal.
His laughter was infectious, making Rei laugh softly too.
She tickled his tummy too, smiling as his legs stretched out while he giggled.
He was just the cutest little thing.
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Touya had said his first word on a random Thursday while Enji was away saving lives, his little eyebrows furrowing together before he'd exclaimed "Mama!" with an accomplished expression.
She was holding him as he rested lightly on her baby bump, his attention all on her rather than his little sister that would arrive soon.
"Oh my goodness! Yes Touya- you're so clever."
Once he started, he didn't seem like he was going to stop either, saying her name and babbling other words that Rei couldn't particularly understand, but listened to regardless.
"Mama- Mama.. "
"That's me, darling." She hugged him close while stroking his red hair, so deeply proud of him. "You're doing so very well."
Quietly, she was happy that Touya had said mama before papa after all of the time that she spent with him. She wouldn't have known how to react if he'd taken to Enji's title first.
He cooed as she gently bounced him with her hands supporting under his arms, glad that he was easily entertained now that she couldn't move around as easily.
It was worrying, that she'd have too much on her plate with a newborn and almost one year old. She wanted to be able to give them both the attention they deserved.
"I love you so much."
"Mama..mm..wuv you."
"My sweet boy.."
Touya was happy resting against Rei's chest as she lay down, already tired despite only waking up a few hours ago.
"Can you say any other words?"
"Mama."
She laughed softly. "How about papa?"
"Mama!"
"Okay- you can just stick with my name."
He really was a mama's boy.
He continued to lie on her chest while sucking his thumb, eyes becoming heavy as Rei continued to stroke through his hair, a motion that always relaxed him.
After giving him a gentle kiss to the forehead, she let her own eyes slip closed, comforted by the warm weight of her son.
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Juggling a new baby and a one year old had been difficult as Rei had expected. Enji was home a bit more to help, but Rei still couldn't help preferring the quiet moments with her babies.
She hoped that Touya was still getting the attention that he needed, was still doing her best to give it to him while taking care of Fuyumi all of the time.
"Mama!"
"Yes baby?" Rei was just putting Fuyumi into her cot after her feed, hoping that she would sleep for a few hours that could be devoted to Touya - even if she was desperate to catch up on her own sleep.
"Mamaa-" He repeated with a small whine until she looked towards him, soon seeing him standing up. He was wobbling and unsteady, but he managed to take a few steps over before falling and holding onto her leg.
"Oh Touya- you did it!"
He sat on her foot and looked up at her with a big smile, eyes shining at his mom being proud of him.
"Mama..up!" Touya managed to pull himself up again, giving Rei the chance to sit down and hold her arms out for him, which he quickly walked into.
"Aren't you just so clever?" It warmed her heart, seeing him shakily take his first steps and collapse back into her arms. "You're going to be running around in no time."
Rei pressed a sweet kiss to his head and held him close as he babbled and cuddled against her.
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The day that Touya had died, Rei had broke.
She was long broken before that, but it made her shatter beyond repair.
Her little boy was gone.
Yet as he lay in his hospital bed, twenty four years old and scarred all over, she felt a semblance of peace return.
He'd been in that terrible tube, a way to keep his pain levels down and his body comfortable until death took him.
But Touya hadn't let it.
His body was dreadfully weak and he hadn't woken up since being moved from the tube to a normal hospital bed, wires sticking out of his body everywhere she looked.
It reminded her of when he'd been born, so small and weak, but continuing to fight.
When he finally woke up, cracking his tired eyes open, she was once again taken back to the moment that she could finally hold him, his eyes opening to reveal a beautiful, bright blue.
She could see the way that his throat bobbed and his mouth opened slightly, nothing more than a small sound escaping.
"It's okay Touya, I'm here." She reached for his bandaged hand and held it gently, still trying to process that he was real and infront of her - they had another chance.
The drugs they had him on kept him calm, but could equally make him confused - especially after all of the trauma he'd suffered during that awful, final battle.
"Mom's got you.. "
Rei continued whispering quiet reassurances and lightly rubbing his frail hand, her heart aching terribly as she noticed the tears running down his face, accompanied by barely audible whimpers.
"You're safe now, always..and I'm so, so sorry."
He didn't say anything back, he couldn't, but his eyes and what little of his expression she could see didn't seem to hold any anger, just hurt, and maybe a sliver of relief.
Rei was more angry at herself - she didn't think that the guilt and hatred would ever go away.
Touya had always deserved so much better.
"My beautiful boy.." She whispered, holding his cheek with her other hand that he seemed to lean into as much as he could manage.
He was safe..they could be a family again.
This time, it would be okay.
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"M-Mom..." Touya whispered, a few days after waking up.
It sounded terribly painful and hoarse, and so much different to when Touya had last spoken to her - his voice young and boyish no matter how fast he had to grow up.
"I'm here Touya, you don't have to speak."
"W-Want to.."
"Don't hurt yourself darling.." She was already holding onto his hand, having to keep contact with her baby boy.
If she let go, she couldn't be sure that he was safe.
"'M sorry."
"I know, it's okay." Rei squeezed his hand lightly. "I'm not mad at you..not ever."
"You should..be.." Touya muttered while trying to sit up with just his one arm, the limb shaking with exertion.
"Don't try and get up..it's okay, let me help." She pressed the small button on the side of the bed to help him sit up slightly, keeping a hold of his hand the whole time. "There you are.."
"Wanna go home."
"Soon, I promise."
"Now.." He mumbled, a little childishly. After all that he'd been through, he deserved to act a little childishly again - especially after his ruined childhood. "Please."
"When you're better, my love."
"'M not gonna get better.."
"Of course you will." With a small frown, she moved closer to the bed, letting him lean against her as much as he could. "The doctors said that you're making good progress..you're going to be okay."
He sniffled and trembled in her hold, leaning closer to her when she pressed a gentle kiss to his head.
"You're so very strong, my beautiful boy."
It wasn't long after until she was sitting on the bed with him, rocking him gently in her arms. "You know..the first thing that you ever said was mama."
Touya buried his face further into her neck, his tears running down and seeping into her shirt.
"I was so very happy..and I feel the same way now that I have you back.."
Touya didn't say anything back, but it was okay, just having him alive and in her arms was enough.
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Touya hated whenever the nurses touched him - and he certainly wouldn't let them bathe him, even if it was a quick and clinical thing.
He couldn't get up yet either, so a normal bath or shower was out of the question.
It became Rei's job, which her son still wasn't fond of, but accepted it over the nurses doing it. He wouldn't look at her during the process, would only answer her questions in grunts and hums.
"You loved bath time when you were a baby." She murmured softly at the memory, carefully holding onto his arm while cleaning it. "Always splashing and playing."
"'S shitty now.." He grumbled, looking out of the window rather than at her. Prehaps if..everything was normal, she would lightly scold him for his foul language, but she couldn't find it in her to do so.
"It's okay..it won't be like this for much longer."
"Gonna get me walking soon..?"
"I believe so." She continued to clean him, being extra careful around the stitches. "After that, it won't be much longer until you can come home."
He hummed softly, and she saw the way that his throat bobbed as he nervously swallowed. "It's.. Just going to be us and my siblings?"
"Of course, Enji isn't staying with us."
The tension disappeared from his body as he nodded.
"That man won't be around us anymore."
"I think.. we should just use him for his money."
"That sounds wonderful, darling." Rei laughed softly.
The atmosphere slowly relaxed as she continued to clean him and wash his hair, being gentle but equally as quick as possible. Once finished, she dried him as he let his eyes rest, then helped him back into the hospital gown that he always complained about.
"Thanks..mom."
"You don't have to thank me for looking after you."
He shrugged with a sigh. "Well..you're stuck doing it all the time."
"And I wouldn't be anywhere else, I promise. I have to try and make up for all of the time we lost."
"You can still..leave it to the nurses if I'm too much."
"Never Touya..you're never too much." She kissed his head again, lightly running her nails through his short, buzzcut. "I love you."
"I..I love you too, mom."
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"I can't." Was the first thing that Touya said as Rei wheeled him into the physical therapy room and got him set up near the bars. It was out of character, she knew that much even after not seeing her boy for ten years, but he was also so very tired and hurt.
"It's okay if you can't manage it today, it's just going to be little steps..each day at a time."
"I don't want them to touch me." He croaked, and Rei could already see the start of heartbreaking tears in his eyes.
Touya had always been emotional - the emotions inside of him far too big for his body, but it was the painkillers making it worse.
"What if I help you? Would that be easier..?"
"You'll hurt yourself, keep helping me."
"I'm not that old yet, Touya." She smiled down at him, relieved when he gave the smallest hint of a smile back. "Let's give it a go, okay? The sooner you can walk, the sooner they'll let you go home."
"...Fine."
The doctors and nurses didn't fight Rei on the matter, and they were happy enough to let her help her son. She gave him another encouraging smile before having to hold most of his weight to get him up and holding onto the bars. It was a little difficult, she had to admit, much more difficult than when he'd first learned to walk, but it was still doable.
"Fuck-" Touya's whole body shook as he held onto the bars, his lips bleeding from digging his teeth into them.
"You did it- there you go darling.."
"Hurts.." His eyebrows were furrowed, and he only lasted a few more moments before his legs gave up and Rei had to help him back into the wheelchair.
"That was amazing, you did so well."
"F-Fucking..barely stood for a few seconds.."
"It's still big progress." She lightly ruffled his hair even when he grumbled. "We can try again in a few minutes."
Touya made big progress over the weeks that followed, his stubbornness and the goal of going home keeping him determined. It was difficult, and he was still wobbly, just like how he was as a baby, but he never gave up.
"You'll be going home in a week." Rei smiled softly at him as he continued to practice walking in his hospital room - most likely pushing himself more than he should.
"Finally."
"Your room is all ready for you."
"..Thanks." He still seemed a little apprehensive to be back around their family for most of the time, but she knew that he had been waiting for it, too.
Things could finally be back to normal, or at least as normal as their family could manage.
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The car ride home was a little quiet, Natsuo driving them both home, but they understood that Touya was tired. He was sitting in the front passenger seat to try and help with his car sickness, already half asleep.
It wasn't a long drive, and soon enough Touya was sitting up properly with a groan, looking more than displeased to be awake. He decided to limp inside with his cane rather than asking for any help too, and Rei let him because he at least deserved the choice to do things himself.
It was different from back then, when Enji had carried him inside. Now, Touya was walking by himself, and Enji was nowhere to be seen. After everything..they were safe.
Natsuo followed behind Touya with his very small collection of things, and Fuyumi and Shoto were there to greet him at the door, ushering him inside as quickly as he could manage.
"Welcome home, Touya." Fuyumi smiled at him once he was through the door.
"Thanks.."
"Your room is ready if you're tired, or you can stay here." It was Shoto's turn to speak, and Rei couldn't help but just watch her children, so very happy to have them all together again..something that she hadn't known was even possible.
"Thanks Shoto..I'll stay with you lot for now."
"Come sit down before you fall over." Natsuo said after putting down Touya's small bag, leading him over to the sofa but letting him walk by himself again.
"Not gonna fall over.."
Rei sat down with her children once they were all settled, a little surprised by how little time it took for Touya to lean on her. He was making up for all of the time they'd missed, she knew.
"Can we have soba for dinner?" Shoto asked, which made Touya crack an eye open, interested.
"Of course we can, sweetheart." Touya's expression lightened up a little, but his tiredness still won as he closed his eyes again. Unlike back then, she wouldn't be able to carry him to his bed, but instead let him doze against her instead. It was comforting, feeling him close and listening to his deep breathing.
Fuyumi draped a big blanket over them too, and they were far too squished up all on the sofa together, but Rei wouldn't change it for the world. Having her children all together finally made her feel at peace.
"Sleep well, my darling." Rei murmured with a soft kiss to Touya's head.
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