Chapter Text
6 shirts, 3 pairs of pants, and 14 hours.
That’s what was left until Darry would get in the passenger seat of Paul’s mustang and they’d drive the 95 minutes back to Tulsa, leaving his dreams of getting out and his boyfriend behind. Darry huffed out a breath as he picked up another one of the shirts. He still needed to figure out exactly how he was gonna tell Paul that their relationship was over. What was he supposed to say, “hey man, I love you and all- but my dead parents left me with two kid brothers who I gotta raise… so… can’t exactly be all over a man”. The idea of saying that to the man currently across the room curled up in their makeshift bed made Darry force out a humorless laugh.
Paul’s head jerked up at the sound, his heart breaking a little more when he caught sight of the lost look in Darry’s misty blue eyes as he folded another pair of pants and tucked them into the open bag beside him. Darry was the most hard working and deserving person that Paul knew, so how was it possibly fair that a freak accident killed his parents and took his future to the grave right along with them? Paul knew the answer. It wasn’t fair. Nothing would change how the world was; who the universe chose to take from.
0 shirts, 0 pants, and 12 hours.
It was his last night. His last night in a small dorm room. His last night with Paul. His last night working towards getting out of the east side, of Tulsa, of Oklahoma, of all of it. He tried to ignore how badly that hurt. He was giving it all up and leaving for good. He let himself fall onto the bed, half his stomach on top of Paul, as reality truly set in. His parents were gone. He and his brothers were orphans. His chance at a future was gone. Tomorrow morning, he would go back to Tulsa, the town it seemed he would inevitably live and die in.
It was a gentle hand carding through his hair that brought him back to the present. Right, he still had one more good night. Why not make the most of it? Soak in the presence of the boy he loved as if it was the last time he’d see him, because realistically, it was. Darry nuzzled closer to Paul and let his arms wrap around the other boy’s middle, head tilting to the side so half of it was against the old t-shirt Paul wore to bed. The continuous and relaxing hand in his hair was luring Darry closer and closer to sleep until a soft suggestion coming from the boy above him woke him up like a splash of freezing cold water.
“We could do it y’know”
Darry let out a confused grunt before tilting his head up and finding Paul with his head tilted up at the ceiling with his eyes closed.
“Do what?”
“Leave. Run off. Go where no one could find us.”
“Paul…”
“I know, I know, your brothers.”
“I can’t just abandon ‘em and let ‘em get separated by the state. Neither of ‘em would survive that. You know that.”
“I know, but didn’t your friend’s ma offer to take them in?”
Darry sighed, Paul wasn’t wrong. Two’s Ma had offered to take them in.
It was after the funeral service ended. Darry had managed to get away for a minute. Paul had offered to keep an eye on his brothers. Pony was still crying against Johnny’s shoulder and Soda had wrapped himself against Steve. Darry had quietly thanked whatever god might be watching for the boys that could be his brothers’ rocks while he left and took a moment for himself.
He had been leaning against a small table when he felt a tap on his shoulder. He snapped up and turned around, throwing back on his mask of the oldest son who needed to arrange his parents’ funeral at 20 and was being strong. But standing behind him wasn’t another stranger who wanted to shake his hand and talk about how sad it was that his parents were gone. Instead, it was Mrs. Matthews.
When Darry looked into the kind and motherly eyes of the woman who had been his mama’s closest friend, he felt floodgates start to open before he could hold them shut. She had simply opened her arms and enveloped the tall boy in a hug. Darry let his head fall against the scratchy and cheap wool of her black dress as she rubbed comforting circles on his back.
“Oh, honey….”
“I- I don’t know what to do”
“Shhh, you ain’t gotta know yet, baby, you got your whole future ahead of you”
“But I don’t! I gotta tell school ‘m droppin’ out an’ I gotta file for custody of my brothers and get a job and leave P- everyone else behind”
“Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr. You look at me and you listen good”
Darry nodded at her and for a split second, he could swear it was like his mama had come back and was lecturin’ him for staying out too late instead of his mama’s best friend telling him to listen at to her at his own parents’ funeral.
“Darry, honey, I can take in your brothers. Let me raise ‘em with Keith and his sister. I know I ain’t no perfect saint but I did a good enough job with the first one. And your mama would have my head if she knew her first baby was losin’ all hope and plannin’ on workin’ himself to the bone to try and provide for a family he ain’t ready to have yet.”
“I can’t ask you to do that ma’am”
“You ain’t asking, I’m offerin’. Just think about it, Darry”
She’d left with a simple pat on his cheek and a tissue gently pressed into his hand. Walking back to her own kids like she ain’t just offered to let Darry keep working on getting out.
That was two weeks ago. His brothers had been stayin’ with her while he went back up to school and packed up his dorm and formally dropped out. He can’t lie, accepting her offer was something that circled his mind daily. But could he do that? Abandon his brothers like that? He wasn’t real sure he could.
“Dar, you’re gettin’ in your own head again”
Darry simply tightened his grip, pulling the two closer, in response and pushed his head farther against Paul.
“Baby, you ain’t normally this all over me, you’re actin’ like we ain’t never gonna see each other again after tomorrow.”
Paul’s tired and quiet chuckle made guilt turn in Darry’s stomach and his chest ache. How was he supposed to just leave this behind? Would he even survive that? Darry wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. But could he really ask Two’s Ma to take in two more kids?
But in the moment, he let himself consider it.
“Where would we go?”
“Huh?”
Paul’s hand faltered in Darry’s hair, taken aback by the question.
“If we left, tell me where we’d go.”
It didn’t carry any hint of teasing or doubt, it was a genuine question. If they really did leave, where would they head? Paul considered it for a moment before his mind flicked to a man he hadn’t seen since he was a boy.
“I got an uncle up in Alaska. We’d head there.”
“Tell me more.”
Sleep was more prominent in Darry’s voice upon voicing his second request, and his eyes were slipping closed. But Paul knew Darry, he knew if Darry was asking, he truly wanted to hear Paul’s answer.
“We’d get in the car, two duffels in the back seat. It’s a pretty far drive, might take us a week or so, but we’d get there. I’d find him and we’d tell him a story ‘bout why we’re there. He’d help us find work. We’d get a small little cabin. A kitchen and a living room. One bed that we’d get into every night. I’d wipe the cold snow off your cheeks when you came home. Maybe we’d get a dog or two. You’d be able to hold me, away from any prying eyes and nosy neighbors. Dar… we’d be free up there…”
When Paul looked down, Darry was passed out against him. Paul blinked and felt a single tear fall out of his eye when he realized just how much he wanted it. How much he longed to be far away from here with Darry. A life started anew. A life where the places they came from didn’t define them. They wouldn’t have to be a greaser from the east side and a west side soc. They could just be them. Just Paul and Darry.
And with dreams of gentle snowfalls and warm limbs wrapped around each other in a far away place, Paul followed Darry to a land of dreams. His eyes slipping shut and taking him to a place where maybe this was closer to reality. There was a heavy silence that filled their dorm as they both ran from the reality that they’d leave the school tomorrow and Paul would return alone.
When Paul stirred the next morning, it was to the sound of a zipping bag and a breath out that could only belong to one person. A heavy weight settled in his stomach as he forced himself into a sitting position and blinked sleep out of his eyes. But when he looked at Darry, he wasn’t met with sad eyes that carried a grief and heaviness Paul would never truly understand. Instead, he was met with a determination that he couldn’t quite explain.
“Let’s do it.”
“What?”
“Let’s go. Leave. Alaska, right? You and me? Let’s do it.”
“Dar? Are you sure?”
“Never been more sure ‘bout anything.”
“Dar, baby, if we do this, there really ain’t no going back. I just… I don’t want you choosin’ this then regretting it, regretting me.”
At that, Darry crossed the room and sat down next to Paul on the bed, taking smooth and strong hands in his rougher and calloused ones.
“Paul, I’ve never been more sure about you. I want this. I want you. If you ain’t sure, I get it. But don’t you think for a second that I’m not in this a hundred percent.”
“But your brothers…”
“I trust Two’s Ma to take care of ‘em. Paul, please. I want this. Let’s do it.”
Paul breathed out slowly, a newfound sense of relief and lightness filling him.
“Ok. Let’s do it.”