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Chapter Text

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They were getting ambushed from every angle the sounds of swords being unsheathed and hooves clacking against the ground echoed through the trees. Merlin dropped down from his horse, eyes searching for Arthur in the fight. He saw him fighting two bandits at once with a third coming behind him. Merlin's eyes widened and flashed yellow sending the man flying into a tree. As usual when Merlin used his magic to save someone, it went unnoticed.

Unnoticed just like the man behind Merlin, riding up to him with increasing speed club in hand. Arthur often found himself checking on Merlin every now and then during battle, the idiot was absolutely hopeless after all. With no combat skills and the survival instincts of a twig, Arthur couldn't help but make sure he wasn't in any danger.

As usual Merlin was standing there cluelessly but this time, Arthur saw danger. "MERLIN!" He yelled thrusting his sword through the chest of who he was fighting and rushing over to his manservant. His legs couldn't carry him fast enough and he watched helplessly as Merlin was struck on the back of the head with a wooden club.

He watched as the servants eyelids dropped and his face paled before his knees gave out under him and he fell onto the floor. Eager to save his manservant, Arthur charged forward sword through the stomach of Merlin's attacker in seconds and he was by Merlin's side in an instant.

"Merlin! Merlin can you hear me?" Arthur surprised himself with the worry and concern in his own voice. He placed a hand on his servant's shoulder shaking him to which Merlin let out a cracked whine and shut his eyes. "Hey! Merlin! Stay awake!" But Arthur's pleadings were no use, Merlin's head lulled to the side as he fell into unconsciousness.

Arthur studied his surroundings, they were outnumbered most of his men had already fallen. There was no way that either of them could survive with only Arthur armed while still trying to protect the injured Merlin. Arthur made a quick decision to haul Merlin over his shoulder and flee. Guilt built up inside him as he looked back at the few men left standing that he was leaving to die. But that was quickly overshadowed by one singular thought, protect Merlin.

As he made his way further into the forest, the sounds of battle grew fainter and fainter but even as the sounds grew quiet Arthur still decided to run further to make sure they wouldn't be ambushed again before tending to Merlin's wounds.

He leaned Merlin up against a nearby tree, quickly checking his surroundings just to quickly make sure that they had not been followed before crouching down to Merlin's level. "Merlin wake up." He said brushing his fingers through Merlin's hair which came away sticky with blood. Right, Merlin's head wound.

He examined the area finding a gash about a centimetre deep, that'll need stitches but right now all Arthur could to was rip some cloth from his shirt and tie a makeshift bandage around Merlin's head. The cloth instantly became damp with blood which Arthur knew was not a good sign.

"A-Art..ur...?"

Arthur jumped at the sound, "Merlin! You're awake!" Arthur couldn't help the smile that came to his face and couldn't help pulling his manservant into a hug. Which Merlin immediately winced in pain from the contact, Arthur pulled away as soon as he heard the pained sound. "Sorry. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Di..zzy.. Head h-hur..ts" Merlin croaked out voice weak and slurred. "Right you took quite the hit to the head. What do you remember?" Arthur probed shaking Merlin slightly as the young man closed his eyes. "Remem..ber riding.." Arthur's brow furrowed, "you don't remember getting ambushed?" Arthur inquired.

Merlin shook his head but the motion made his head ache and he closed he eyes once more. "Hey. Stay awake, keep your eyes open." Came Arthurs stern voice, "So..rry... worlds... bright.."

Right, Arthur remembered once when a young knight had gotten a head injury he had sensitivity to lights and sounds, Merlin must be the same. Arthur shrugged off his cloak and put it over Merlin's head sheltering him from the sunlight. Merlin's eyes opened once more and Arthur got a look at his pupils.

In Merlin's right eye, his pupil was blown wide while in the left it was smaller. If Arthur remembered correctly Gaius once told him that was a sign of a concussion. Arthur didn't have much medical knowledge, but he knew that someone shouldn't really sleep and if they did should be woken hourly.

"Ar..hur.."

Arthur hadn't noticed he had spaced out until Merlin called his name. "What's wrong Merlin?" He asked. "Gonna.. be sick..." Those words were the clearest words Merlin had spoke since he had regained consciousness and even they were cracked and slurred. Arthur watched as Merlin gagged and turned his body as to not throw up on the prince. But as the movement caused his vision to swim and legs collapsed he collapsed to the ground, or would have if Arthur hadn't have caught him. Arthur tried not to look as his servant heaved and emptied his stomach of his dinner.

Once Merlin's gagging had stopped, Arthur leant him back against the tree, Merlin's mouth opened but all the came out was a series of dry coughs. "Don't try to speak." Arthur said looking around, he had only now just realised that he in fact did not know where they were. He hadn't thought when he had dragged Merlin away from the battle he just wanted to get him to safety but now it seemed that they had caused them another problem by getting them lost.

It shouldn't be too hard to find their way back if Arthur could find where the battle took place he could easily get back to Camelot, and if they were lucky maybe the horses were still there. But it would be risky, there was the threat of the bandits still being there. But it was unlikely, so Arthur nodded to himself and decided to transport Merlin back the way he came. If he could even remember where that was.

"Merlin, can you stand? We need to go back." Arthur said as he stood and looked down at his servant. Merlin looked up at him with that dumb look of his face, but Arthur couldn't find the heart to be mad at him. "H-huh?" Merlin stammered out and Arthur sighed. He reached down and swung Merlin back over his shoulder, who whined and squirmed in protest. Arthur scolded himself for being so careless, Merlin had a head injury he shouldn't be flinging around so carelessly like that.

"Sorry." Arthur said as he started walking keeping one hand on Merlin's head so it wouldn't be jostled around so much.

He turned out to have been right about the direction he had come and he stumbled across what was left of his men mere minutes later. All of his knights were dead, but a few horses remained. The bandits didn't seem to around anymore either which was good, he approached the horse and tried to figure out he was going to get both him and Merlin on it without causing unnecessary pain.

"Merlin, I'm gonna help you onto the horse and I need you to hold on while I get on after you." Arthur said moving Merlin from his shoulder and into his arms. "o..kay..."

Arthur smiled at Merlin's cooperation and with his confirmation he lifted the manservant up onto the horse. Merlin had enough strength left to lift one leg over the horse and to grip the reins. "Good. I'm gonna get on as well now, okay?"

Merlin didn't respond but Arthur began to mount the horse anyway, he lifted Merlin up from where he had leaned forwards towards the horses head and pulled him back towards his chest. "Try to stay awake, I'm not sure if it's safe for you to sleep..." Arthur said in the voice he usually ordered Merlin around with in hopes he would understand it better.

Merlin again gave no reply, but Arthur couldn't blame him. He was obviously tired and in pain. "I'll get you to Gaius don't worry Merlin." Arthur promised and began to ride in the direction of Camelot.

It was a few hours later that they made it to the gates of Camelot, the guards greeted the prince at the gates but Arthur was too focused on Merlin too even acknowledge them. The horse came to a stop in front of   the castle and dropped down from the horse, keeping a supporting hand on Merlin so he wouldn't fall down.

He then pulled Merlin back into his arms and started to make his way to Gaius' chambers. Merlin had managed to stay awake during the ride back to Camelot and Arthur had to admit his servant was doing as he was told for once. Time passed slow as he made his way through the corridors and staircases to get to the physician's chambers ignoring all the stares he was getting from being a prince carrying a lowly servant.

He didn't bother knocking and instead barged inside, starting Gaius "My lord!" the old man jumped up from his seat his eyes landing on Merlin's form in Arthur's arms. "Merlin!" he shuffled over seeing the bandage wrapped around Merlin's head. "Put him down here." Gaius motioned to the cot in the middle of the room. Arthur placed Merlin down his arms feeling empty without a purpose.

"He got hit on the back of his head, he was unconscious but came back around within ten minutes. He also was sick." Arthur explained and Gaius nodded along to the information. "He most likely has a concussion."  Gaius said as he unwrapped the makeshift bandage from merlin's head revealing the gash, which was still oozing blood.

"He needs stitches before anything else." Gaius took a few steps back and picked up a needle and thread from a nearby bench, he walked back over and got right to work stitching the wound. Arthur watched as the ugly gash was closed, already making Merlin look better. Merlin had lost his fight with consciousness sometime around when Arthur had placed him onto the cot, "Is it alright for him to sleep?" He questioned worriedly. Gaius nodded "it should be, as long as he's woken every now and then."

Arthur nodded, "If you're busy... I could do it..." he said his voice quieting down a bit. Gaius raised an eyebrow, "that's very generous of you sire." He said. "Of course, I'm not busy so the least I can do is at least help out here."

"Very well, there's nothing more I can do to treat him so I shall be out for a few hours to do my rounds. Wake him an hour from now and ask him a few questions if he can't answer them properly send for me and do not let him fall back to sleep. Also, if he feels any nausea give him this. It'll help." Gaius explained as he placed a small bottle into the princes hand.

Arthur nodded and watched the elderly man leave, he pulled a nearby chair by the bed and sat down.

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Once Arthur was sure about an hour had passed, he placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder and shook his body. It took a few moments but Merlin let out a groan and his eyes cracked open, "Arthur...?"

Merlin speech was clearer and less slurred now which was a relief to Arthur, that was a sign Merlin was already getting better. At least he though it was.

"Merlin, how are you feeling?" Arthur asked pulling his arm back from where it was resting on Merlin's shoulder. "Head still hurts..." Merlin replied weakly. Arthur nodded, still. That means he remembered their conversation from earlier or at least some of it.

"That's alright, can you tell me you're name?"

Merlin raised an eyebrow, why was Arthur being so gentle? Why was he so concerned?

"My name is Merlin... Don't tell me you've forgotten?" Merlin said with a hint of humour, Arthur let out a chuckle that felt like a relief to his lungs. "No.. just making sure you haven't" He said giving Merlin a gentle, playful nudge. "You may think I'm an idiot but I'm not an idiot."

Arthur put his hands up in defence "Alright, just making sure." he said resting his hands back onto his lap, "are you tired?" he asked, Merlin nodded "so tired."

"Then go back to sleep I'll wake you in an hour to make sure you haven't forgotten you're name again." Arthur chuckled pulling the blankets to cover Merlin more. "Already told you... I'm not an idiot..."

Arthur laughed once more, "Alright, alright. Just get some rest." 

Chapter Text

Arthur wasn't normally a very observant person when it came to his servants. However, with Merlin it was a different story. He saw the young man every day. He always wore the same clothes, that neckerchief, his jacket, his rag of a shirt and trousers. But today he wasn't wearing that usual brown jacket, today the jacket was a deep blue.

"Got a new jacket have you?" Arthur said as he paced his papers down onto his desk, interrupting Merlin from where he was sweeping the floor.  "Huh?" Merlin responded dumbly. Arthur sighed, how could the imbecile not understand what he was asking? "Your jacket. It's new." He repeated a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Merlin's lips turned upwards in a smile, "Oh! A birthday gift from Gaius!" He said doing a small twirl to show off the jacket. Arthur raised an eyebrow, "Birthday? When?" He asked, he hadn't realized that Merlin's birthday was recently. He felt a small pang of guilt, maybe he should get him a gift or give him the day off.

"Just yesterday, Gwen even got me some flowers!" Merlin said cheerfully. Even Gwen knew and got Merlin a gift? Now Arthur felt even worse as he remembered how he had ordered Merlin to polish his armour yesterday and even threw some of it at the back of Merlin's head when it wasn't polished to his satisfactory.

"I had you doing chores on your birthday?" Arthur's voice had a sad and guilty tone to it which surprised Merlin, "well it is my job," he replied his stupid smile never falling. "I'll make it up to you, come back to my chamber's tonight I'll prepare a feast."

Merlin looked at Arthur like he had grown a tail, "a feast?" he repeated trying to get Arthur to admit that he was playing with him but Arthur only nodded. "Yes, but don't get used to it. It's just a birthday treat. Now leave so I have time to prepare!"

Merlin was still sceptical but nodded and backed out of the room. He made his way back to the physician's chambers.

Gaius was surprised to see Merlin return so early and his first thought was that Arthur had sacked Merlin, he threatened to do that a lot maybe Merlin had messed up and Arthur had finally snapped. But when Merlin had a look of confusion on his face Gaius' words caught in his throat. "Arthur is taking me to dinner..." Merlin said like he didn't believe it himself.

Gaius raised an eyebrow "What are the circumstances?" He asked pulling up a chair for Merlin to sit down. "Apparently my birthday, he's never bothered before... I don't know why he is now." Merlin explained rubbing the back of his head in confusion.

"A date with the prince?" Gaius said, watching in amusement as Merlin's eyes widened and his cheeks heated up "Gaius!" Merlin yelled out like Gaius had just insulted his own bloodline. Gaius let out a chuckle finding amusement in Merlin's flustered appearance. "You should be thankful that Arthur's acting friendly to you."

Merlin looked up towards Gaius, "I am! it's just unusual." Merlin exclaimed "He wasn't being as snappy and arrogant, he was almost... nice to me..." Merlin mused, "I'll find out what's behind his odd behaviour tonight."

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Arthur looked at the feast on the table in front of him, a jug full and red wine and plate fulls of food, from the kitchen's of course Arthur was no cook. All of this for a servant, his servant. He had also gotten Merlin a gift, a dagger. Not exactly for his birthday, more for self defence the servant always seemed to get himself into trouble.

There was a knock on the door and Arthur's head snapped up. "Come in." He said and the door opened to reveal Merlin. Merlin's eyes widened as he saw the feast on the table, "take a seat." Arthur motioned to the chair that was facing opposite his own. Merlin awkwardly sat down and watched as Arthur sat down in his own.

Silence lingered awkwardly through the room and neither moved to touch the food on the table. Eventually Arthur let out an awkward cough followed by "I got you a gift." He watched as Merlin's face became even more surprised and slid the box across the table. Merlin caught it before it slid off the table and opened it, inside lay a dagger Merlin inspected it in his hands the handle was wrapped in expensive cloth and he could see his reflection in the blade.

"It's beautiful." Merlin said in awe as he continued to admire the blade eventually, he put it back in its case and looked back into Arthur's eyes. "But why are you being so nice?" He asked curiously, "because it's you're birthday." Arthur responded as he began to eat the food encouraging Merlin too as well.

As Merlin began to cut up the sausages on his plate he spoke again, "But it's not my birthday anymore." Arthur nodded. "I know that, I'm just making up for the ones I've missed." He lifted up the jug "would you like some red wine?" The prince asked with a smile.

"I- uh... never tried it, I don't know if I'd like it." Merlin admitted slightly embarrassed, "you've never tried red wine?" Arthur questioned. Merlin nodded "It's usually a luxury among royals, and I'm a servant."

Arthur stood up as he listened to Merlin's words, jug still in hand he walked over to where Merlin was sat pouring the wine in Merlin's cup. Merlin reached for the cup but Arthur grabbed his wrist and picked up the cup instead.

"If red wine is exclusive to royals, then tonight... Let me treat you like a royal." Arthur said, his voice deep and husky as he brought the cup to Merlin's lips. Merlin's eyes widened and his face heated up, but he opened his lips and let Arthur pour the liquid down his throat.

Arthur placed the cup back on the table, "How does it taste?" He said a smirk playing on his lips. Merlin looked down at his hands which he had placed in his lap but felt a hand grab his chin and force him to look up at the prince. "I-It was good." Merlin stammered nervously.

"A royal should sleep in a royal bed." Arthur said as he took Merlin's hand and led him over to the bed. "B-but that's you're bed." Merlin protested but Arthur continued to pull him towards the bed until he was eventually pushed down onto it. Merlin hit the sheets with a yelp and Arthur leaned over him breath against his ear and whispered. "May I treat you as one of royal blood tonight?"

Merlin breath caught in his throat but he nodded desperately.

"Yes. Yes please."

Chapter Text

Merlin looked down at the ground beneath him. He was sitting on the wall of the highest point of the castle. Life had gotten too much, his destiny, his magic, his life. He couldn't live with it. Arthur had said it himself,

'I don't need you.'

Arthur had spoken so cruelly,  his voice full of hate. Hate for Merlin.

If Arthur had no need for him, then what purpose did his life have? None.

He was scared, scared of both dying and of living.

"I guess this is goodbye," he said to the air, shuffling closer to the edge mere centimetres from dropping off the edge.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that." Came a voice from behind him as an arm wrapped around his middle and dragged him down from the wall. Merlin opened the eyes he hadn't realised he had closed and looked up at the face above him.

"Arthur."

The voice that spoke the name didn't feel like his, it felt like a complete stranger had possessed him and was using his body to speak. "What in the name of Camelot were you thinking!?" Arthur barked as he began to drag Merlin back inside, into the hallways of the castle. "I guess I wasn't." He muttered "It won't happen again." He added trying to break free from Arthur's grip, but it was too strong.

Arthur opened a door and before Merlin knew it, he was shoved into Arthur's chambers and sat down on a chair. Not the old wooden chair that wobbled whenever he sat down on it — but Arthur's. The one padded with cushions made of luxurious fabric.

"Merlin. Look at me."

Arthur had crouched down in front of Merlin, eyes red and puffy. Had the prince been crying? Would he cry if Merlin died? Merlin has had the though before but could never come up with an answer. Sometimes Arthur seemed to care for him, but other times he'd be yelling, hitting and assigning him chores.

"Merlin."

Merlin came back into focus, Arthur's hands were on both sides of his face forcing him to look him in the eye. "Sorry sire..." Merlin mumbled and cast his eyes downwards into his lap to embarrassed too meet the eye of the man in front of him. "Don't call me that!" Arthur barked and Merlin flinched.

"huh?" Merlin said dumbly, "Don't call me sire. Not in this situation."

Merlin stood up, he couldn't bare to face Arthur any longer, not with knowing he was planning on leaving him just minutes ago. Arthur pushed him back down with a grip on his shoulders. "Talk to me Merlin." Arthur pleaded, a stray tear falling from his eye. Merlin brought his hand up and wiped the tear away as sudden as it came, "Don't cry... Not about me. It's not worth it."

Arthur gave Merlin a look full of sadness and concern. "Tell me why you think that."

Merlin looked down once more. "I-I'm not worth it." He said, his voice shaky and unstable. He felt Arthur's hands on him again, this time on his knees. "You are worth it Merlin."

"Why?" Merlin questioned, if he couldn't come up with a reason why his life wasn't worth anything he doubted Arthur would be able too.

"Because you're selfless, you think of others before yourself Merlin. And because you're my friend."

Merlin felt like the word had been an arrow shot straight out of Arthur's crossbow and right into his chest. Friend. If Arthur knew his secret he wouldn't consider him that, he would consider him an enemy.

"I'm not worthy of being your friend," Merlin stammered, trying to search for an escape route — a way to escape Arthur's words. "You are, we've known each other years. You've saved my life before, and now. Allow me to save yours."

Why was Arthur being so gentle with him? Just hours ago Merlin had dented his armour and Arthur had yelled at him so loud he was afraid his eardrums would burst. Arthur had sacked him, yelled at him to get out and sacked him.

Merlin shook his head. "I don't want to be saved." Arthur copied Merlin's shaking motion with his own head, "Yes you do. Deep down you do, and I know that. Let me help you." before Merlin could say another word, he was pulled into a strong chest by strong arms. Arthur's body felt warm against Merlin's cheek, and for the first time in ages. It made him feel alive.

"Cry Merlin."

As if the words controlled Merlin's mind like he was a puppet under Arthur's control, tears escapes his eyes. Flowing uncontrollably and dampening Arthur's shirt. Arthur's fingers combed through Merlin's hair, as he held him. He didn't speak Merlin didn't need that yet, that would be for later. For now all Merlin needed to do was cry. Cry all those tears he had held back over the years, all that pain and suffering he had bottled up coming out in the form of salty liquid falling down his cheeks and into Arthurs shirt.

Merlin eventually pulled himself away from Arthur's chest, tears still falling from his eyes but the flow of them had weakened. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this," he said, voice full of shame. "Let it go Merlin. Let me see you."

Merlin looked back into the princes eyes expecting them to be ridiculing him, but instead he saw them full of worry and affection. "You stay with me tonight." Arthur said firmly. Merlin knew there was no chance arguing with him, Arthur was stubborn just like his father.

"You can take my bed."

Merlin shook his head "I can't do that, you're the prince it's your bed." he protested. "I don't care. Maybe a good nights rest will bring you to your senses." Arthur said. "We'll talk more about what you tried to do tomorrow..." Arthur said, in a tone that made it obvious he didn't want to talk about it either — but knew he had to.

"You can also be rehired as my servant if that is one of the reasons..." Arthur said after a few moments of silence. Merlin nodded. At least that way, he had a purpose — a reason to live.

"Thank you Arthur."

Chapter Text

After Merlin had successfully defeated the sorcerer possessing Cedric, he thought he deserved some well-deserved rest. Gaius had made him some supper before the elderly physician had gone off to do his rounds and treat those who were wounded. Merlin was expecting Arthur to come round any minute now that he didn't have Cedric and actually had purpose for Merlin again.

The sleeve of his jacket caught on the wounds on his wrists and Merlin hissed at the sharp sting, wounds from when Arthur threw him in the dungeon. He had resisted and the guards had chained him up, the steel had dug into his skin creating angry, red inflamed cuts.

Gaius had been too distracted to notice them, just given him praise before going off to tend to the injured. Merlin felt too tired to tend to them himself. They weren't a pressing concern anyway, just a sharp sting whenever they rubbed against something but it wasn't anything Merlin couldn't handle.

"Merlin!"

Merlin's head jerked up and he sharply tugged his sleeves down, Arthur stood by the doorway an uncomfortable expression on his face. "Sire." Merlin said coldly ready for all the chores that were going to be dumped on his exhausted being. Arthur walked into the room slowly, "don't call me that, makes it sound like you're mad at me."  He complained as he reached Merlin's side and gave him a playful shove.

"What do you want me to do, prat?" Merlin couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice and Arthur seemed surprised by his tone but didn't comment on it. "I came to apologise, you were right about Cedric. And I shouldn't have treated you like that. And I shouldn't have thrown you into the dungeons."

Merlin visibly flinched as Arthur mentioned the dungeons, "it's fine, it was a wild accusation that made me seem like a mad man." Merlin tried to joke but he was too exhausted to turn his lips upward into a smile. "You've told me things before and I've not believed you and usually you are right." Arthur kept his voice serious and apologetic.

"It's fine. I forgive you, just tell me what work you want me to d-" Merlin was cut off by a firm "No." from Arthur. "I came to apologise not- Merlin! What happened to your wrist!?" Arthur reached out and grabbed Merlin by the wrist sending pain all the way up his arm "It's nothing." He tried to protest but the pain in his voice was obvious, Arthur gentled his grip after hearing it but didn't let go. Instead, he rolled up Merlin's sleeve.

Merlin couldn't meet Arthur's eyes but could hear the gasp that escaped his lips. "How did you get these?" Arthur questioned but Merlin had no intention of answering honestly. "It's nothing." Arthur shook his head not believing his servant's lies. "Are these from when I threw you in the dungeon?"

Merlin let out a sigh knowing there was no use fighting. Arthur was stubborn. He nodded finally meeting Arthur's eyes, seeing the hurt and guilt in there.

"Merlin I-" now it was Merlin's turn to interrupt the prince, "it's fine Arthur." He said even though the stinging in his wrist reminded him that it was most definitely not fine. "At least let me tend to them?" The speech seemed more like a question that a statement, like Arthur would be afraid that Merlin wouldn't let him. "Do you know how?" Merlin raised an eyebrow and he would have sworn he saw the slightest hint of red on the prince's cheeks from embarrassment as he shook his head.

"No, can you walk me through it?" The prince spoke quietly as if it was an insult to his dignity to ask his servant to teach him how to do something.

Merlin nodded towards a small bottle on a table nearby, "get that bottle." He instructed. Arthur gently released his grip on Merlin's wrist and strode across the room to get the bottle. "what is it?" he asked inspecting the bottle. "Vinegar." Merlin replied plainly, a surprised look flashed across Arthur's face. "Wouldn't that burn?" Arthur inquired to which Merlin nodded his reply. "It will. But it will cleanse the wound."

Arthur wasn't too happy about having to cause even more pain for his manservant but he didn't want the wound to get infected so he grabbed a nearby cloth making sure it was clean before pouring some of the liquid onto it. Arthur glanced up to Merlin's face as he grabbed hold of his wrist again. "You ready?"

Merlin nodded and Arthur knew that his lack of talking probably meant that he was mad at Arthur. Merlin was always talking about one thing or another and hearing him so quiet was unnerving. With a deep breath he pressed the cloth against the wound he flinched when he heard Merlin's hiss of pain and he could almost feel the pain himself. He wished he could take the pain away from Merlin and keep it all to himself.

Merlin didn't deserve pain, especially not caused by someone who was meant to be his friend. "You're other wrist. Please..." Arthur hadn't meant for his voice to come out so weak but as he took Merlin's other wrist in hand and cleaned the wound just like he had the other one, he justified the feeling. Merlin was helpless. Defenceless.

Arthur had to protect him, it was his job. And yet he had caused harm to the one he was meant to protect. And the guilt of that fact was eating him up inside.

"Now get that jar over there, take some of the yarrow in it and crush it with the mortar and pestle." Merlin's command snapped Arthur out of his thoughts and in an instant he had the jar in hand scooping out a handful of the flowers and moving over to where Gaius kept his mortar and pestle and started crushing the flowers into a powder.

"Now rub it into the wounds and bandage it."

Arthur nodded and picked up the mortar and brought it over to Merlin, he pinched some of the dust between his fingers and sprinkled it over Merlin's wrists. He spotted the bandages over grabbed them. This he knew how to do.

As he finished bandaging Merlin's wrists he watched as Merlin brought them up so he could inspect Arthur's handiwork, he looked almost impressed.

"Not bad for you're first time." He said with a small smile which relieved Arthur more than he would care to admit.

"Thank you." Merlin added but Arthur denied the gratitude with a shake of his head. "No." He said firmly. "Don't thank me, I'm the reason you got the wounds and for that I'm sorry."

"It's not you're fault Arthur, you didn't order me to be chained, they chained me up because I resisted." Merlin comforted placing his hand on Arthur's shoulder and gripping it tightly.

"I still shouldn't have locked you up."

Merlin let out a small chuckle and Arthur could practically see the idea pop up in the reflection of his eyes. "Well, if you want to make it up to me..."

Arthur raised an eyebrow,

"You could give me the day off?"

"Absolutely not. You need to repair my clothes, polish my armour, sharpen my sword. And of course don't forget to muck out the stables."

Chapter Text

Droplets of warm water splashed back onto Merlin's face and clothes as he poured bucketfuls  into the prince's bathtub. "Make sure you make it the right temperature." Arthur ordered from behind the screen where he was undressing.

"swol ðês w¯ætan" Merlin whispered under his breath as his eyes flashed gold and the water in the tub bubbled before calming back down. Arthur reappeared from behind the screen and approached the bathtub. He dipped his finger in and immediately recoiled with a cry. "Can you do anything right Merlin!?" He yelled, "the water is boiling!"

Merlin rolled his eyes at the prince's complaint, "you complained last time that it was too cold, so I made it warmer this time." If you were standing right next to Merlin you might have been able to hear him whisper 'prat' under his breath at the end of his sentence.

"Make it the temperature you have your own baths, and don't say this is how you bathe!"

Merlin nodded giving the illusion that Arthur was making a good point. "Ah, you see there's one problem there?" He said with amusement in his voice. Arthur raised his eyebrow and his voice "And what's that? What's so difficult about filling up a bathtub?"

"I don't own a bathtub."

Arthur paused.

"You... don't own a bathtub? How do you bathe?"

Merlin resisted the urge to face palm. "With a bucket and cloth."

The prince seemed shocked by this information. He thought everyone owned a bathtub. "That won't do." He said as he approached Merlin, the latter backed off bit very aware of Arthur's state of undress. "Come on Merlin it's nothing you haven't seen before. We can bathe together." Arthur said with a friendly smack on Merlin's back.

Merlin's eyes widened and he snapped his head to look at the prince as if he had gone crazy. "We can't both fit!" He protested but Arthur shook his head in argument. "Come on take your clothes off, or do you need me to help you?" Arthur teased as he pulled Merlin out of his jacket. "Arthur wait!-"

"Merlin. Bathe with me." Arthur ordered in that deep, commanding voice. Oh, how that voice did things to Merlin.

Merlin nodded and undressed himself trying to ignore the intense gaze of the prince watching his every movement. Merlin had seen Arthur undressed before, he dressed him every morning and bathed him. However, Arthur had never seen Merlin unclothed.

"Now hopefully the water has cooled down a bit." Arthur said as if it was completely normal for the two men to be completely undressed about to take a bath together. He dipped his finger in the water just like he had earlier and smiled "Ah! It's the perfect temperature!" He cheered and lifted one foot after another and sank down into the water. He looked up at Merlin expectantly.

Merlin tried to keep his heartbeat under control as he copied Arthur's actions and slipped into the water sitting opposite Arthur. Merlin was correct when he said that they both couldn't fit, their knees pressed together and their faces and chests were only inches apart.

"Doesn't it feel nice Merlin? Relaxing in a nice bath." Arthur said placing his hands behind his head and using them as a headrest as he leaned back. Merlin nodded, not trusting his heart to leap out of his mouth if he opened it.

Arthur seemed to notice that Merlin was too embarrassed to speak and wasn't interesting in having a one sided conversation. So the two fell into a silence that Merlin couldn't decide whether it was comfortable or uncomfortable.

The silence was broken when Arthur cleared his throat, "come closer Merlin." There was a tone to the prince's voice that Merlin had never heard before, "I don't think that's possible-" Merlin yelped when strong arms grabbed him and he was pulled into his master's lap.

"Are you comfortable?" Arthur voice was almost teasing against Merlin's ear, making the servant let out a quiet gasp. "y-yes..." Merlin was embarrassed at the admission, being in the lap of the crowned prince felt...

It felt right. It felt like where he was meant to be.

Merlin let out a loud groan as Arthur placed a kiss against his neck, his face heated up and he looked over to the door to make sure no one had walked in. "A-Arthur what are you doing!?" He cried out. "Do you not like it?"

"I like it but... what if someone sees..." Merlin turned his head towards the door and Arthur followed his gaze. "They'll knock. They know to do that when I'm enjoying my dinner." Merlin gasped and flushed red, "A-Arthur!"

Arthur placed a finger to his pretty lips and shushed him, "that doesn't mean no one will come to investigate any sounds. Now tell me Merlin... Do you want to do this with me?"

Merlin had lost all of his dignity at this point, he was ready to bed for Arthur. Arthur knew that he had Merlin wrapped around his finger, he knew exactly what he was doing.

"Have you ever been with a man before?" Arthur asked lowering his hands to grip at Merlin's waist. "No... Never even a woman." Merlin admitted embarrassingly. Arthur nodded "I've only ever been with women, but... Can I be you're first?"

Merlin felt his face grow even hotter, and he hadn't even though that would be possible. Arthur wanted to go all the way with him? Had he been enchanted? Had he accidentally cast a love spell when warming up the bath water? He took Arthur's face in his hand and forced the older man to look into his eyes.

The man he saw in them was the real Arthur. His Arthur.

"I'd love you to be."

Arthur smiled, overjoyed by Merlin's answer.

"I don't have any oil on me so this might hurt a bit." Arthur said apologetically and Merlin was about to ask what he was talking about until he felt a finger trace around his rim which made Merlin jolt in Arthur's arms.

Oh. Right.

They were both men, this worked differently. Merlin would be the one... taking it.

"Sorry... Too sudden?" Arthur apologised as he withdrew his finger, Merlin was surprised of the fact that he felt mournful of the loss and let out a small whimper. "No, just surprised me that's all..." Merlin looked down at his lap before continuing, "keep going..."

Arthur placed a kiss to Merlin's forehead and Merlin swore he could feel the prince's lips turned upwards as they pressed against his skin.

Arthur's fingers trailed back down his back and Merlin held his breath as he awaited the gentle touch against his most sensitive areas. This time, two fingers danced around his entrance and Merlin let out a loud gasp and hid his face in Arthur's chest without thinking. Arthur hadn't even put anything inside yet and Merlin was already shivering and shaking like he was on the verge on orgasm.

"Always knew you'd be sensitive." Arthur growled lowly, his voice invading Merlin's senses and turning him even more into a puddle. "You've thought about this...?"

Merlin had to. So many nights he'd woken hard as a rock just from dreaming of the young, handsome prince.

"Of course I have. I've wanted you for so long... And now that I've got you." Arthur's expression turned dark as he leaned in closer "I'm gonna take my time with you."

Merlin gulped but he couldn't bring himself to be scared, Arthur was a kind and thoughtful man. And Merlin trusted him enough to not hurt him. "Promise me one thing." Merlin started and Arthur paused his movement, much to Merlin's annoyance as he tried to rock back onto those thick fingers.

"I'll be gentle Merlin, I won't hur-" Merlin placed a finger to his lips and shushed him.

"No. Don't hold back."

There was a silence that lasted a few seconds before Arthur let out a deep growl. If Merlin didn't know any better, he'd have thought a wild beast had snuck into the castle and into the prince's chambers.

Merlin gasped as one of Arthur's fingers breached him, it burnt so deliciously he could feel the texture of the prince's rough fingertips rubbing against his inner walls and he knew. Knew he was in love with the man he was currently sat in the lap of.

Merlin clasped a hand over his mouth to stop the noises from breaking out as Arthur began to move and wiggle the finger inside of him. Arthur didn't seem happy with Merlin holding his sounds back but didn't act on it. He had wanted this for too long and to be interrupted might just send him mad.

So instead, he curled his finger inside of his desperate manservant trying to find that one spot. And maybe, just maybe a sound will slip out of his fingers and bless Arthur's ears.

It took a bit of prodding, but Arthur knew he had found it when a muffled wail slipped out from the cracks between Merlin's fingers. Arthur couldn't help the smirk that spread across across his face as he watched the manservant snap his head towards the door to see if anyone had heard the sound.

Arthur couldn't have the servant not paying attention to him, Merlin had asked him not to hold back.

Arthur gave no warning before he shoved the seconds finger in, but he made sure to watch Merlin's reaction the whole time.

He watched as the servant's eyes widened and his eyes threatened to roll back, watched as he bit down on one of his fingers to stop anymore sounds from leaking through.

He scissored  his fingers, he said he wanted to take his time with Merlin but he was beginning to get impatient. His cock was hard as a rock pressing against Merlin's thigh, the only stimulation it got was a slight rub when Merlin shifted in his lap.

"Are you enjoying this Merlin?"

Merlin must love to be talked to during sex because Arthur could practically see him melt into a puddle as the words left his lips. Merlin didn't seem to trust himself to not let any sounds if he removed his hands for just a second, so instead he just nodded desperately his eyes pleading for more of Arthur's touch.

Arthur couldn't take it anymore, in his fantasies he's been able to have Merlin, and Merlin had been as loud as he wanted to be. He needed to hear those sounds, this time the real ones and not just the ones from his dreams. He pulled his fingers out of Merlin and stood up, Merlin fell out of his lap in the process and let out a confused noise.

Arthur stood out of the tub and stormed over to the door. Water dripped on to floor but that was the least of his worries, Merlin could clean that up later.

"Arthur?"

God, Merlin's voice sounded so beautifully raw.

Arthur quickened his pace and slid the bolt into place once he reached the door giving it a quick shove to make sure it was locked, leaving a wet handprint on the wood in the process, before turning around with such speed he would have felt lightheaded if not for his need to get back to Merlin.

"No one can come in, you have no excuse to cover your sounds now."

Arthur marched back towards Merlin who was still seated in the bathtub, dumbfounded by Arthur behaviour.  Arthur lowered himself back into the tub and yanked Merlin back onto his lap. "Do you think you're prepped enough?" He gentled his voice a little but it was hard to keep that roughness out of his voice when he was so hard that it was getting painful.

Merlin nodded but Arthur grabbed a fistful of his hair, "Use you're words." He demanded. "Y-yes..." Merlin murmured. Quietly, but it'll do.

Arthur grabbed Merlin by the waist with one hand lifting him up a little while his other hand grabbed himself by the base. He got himself into position and looked up to Merlin. "Sink down when you're ready." Arthur murmured as he moved his hand to Merlin's back and started to rub comforting circles to ease his nerves.

Merlin took a deep breath before he began to lower him self, he let out a loud groan as the tip popped inside and got so startled by the feelings that he accidentally dropped himself all the way down making another loud moan get pushed out of his mouth.

He just lost his virginity to the prince of Camelot.

"You okay?" Said prince asked having not stopped his comforting rubs on Merlin's back. "Y-yeah." Merlin nodded, it had hurt when he had first dropped down but it was almost instantly overridden by the burning pleasure that spread through his nerves.

"You do the moving." Arthur moved his hands behind his neck and leaned back, "w-what?" Merlin stammered. "You heard me. You're the servant here Merlin. You do the moving." Arthur's voice was low, teasing and Merlin didn't have the will to deny it. He placed his hands on those strong shoulders, feeling the muscle there as he lifted himself up careful not to pull Arthur completely out of him before dropping back down.

He could feel it in his stomach as the tip reached the deepest points within him, it spread through his nerves so Merlin could feel the pleasure all over his body. His fingertips tingled as he lifted himself back up and dropped back down once more, beginning to find a rhythm that had both prince and servant gasping for breath.

"You feel amazing Merlin." Arthur praised removing his hands from behind his neck, the temptation to touch Merlin was just too strong. He placed his hands onto Merlin's waist but didn't guide his movements, as he said, that was Merlin's job.

He did however, lean in to kiss the raven swallowing down those beautiful moans he had always dreamed of. He could practically taste them on his tongue, the sweet taste like a drug to his brain.

He only pulled away from the kiss after he had licked and bitten Merlin's lips raw, and took a moment to admire the beautiful sight. "Are you close?" He asked, Merlin eyes met his and the servant desperately nodded "Y-yes. So so close... please!"

The sound of Merlin begging was like music to his ears, and it was hard to not just cum from hearing it. "Let's cum together okay?" The prince proposed as he finally decided to give the out of breath Merlin a break and take over his movements.

"Are you ready? 3... 2... 1!"

The two came in synchronization, and gods Merlin must to the one for Arthur could he swears he's never cum so hard in his life. Arthur's arms felt weak as he lifted Merlin up and slipped out of him, the raven let out an overstimulated whimper and rested his head against Arthur's chest.

"You did wonderfully." Arthur placed soft kisses all over Merlin's face, who made a happy noise and nuzzled into Arthur's touch. "I'll clean us up, you just relax for a bit."

Merlin seemed happy with that command and allowed Arthur to wipe the sweat and semen from his body. Merlin let his eyes close, was it normal to feel this tired after sex? Or was Arthur just really good at it?

He opened them again when he felt strong arms hoist him out of the bathtub, he saw Arthur's face looking down with him with warmth in his eyes as he carried him over to the bed and placed him down. "Let me get your clothes."

Arthur escaped from Merlin's sight and Merlin tried to sit up to bring him back into it, but his body felt numb and would not obey his command. He felt clothes being put back onto his lower half and then Arthur reappeared in his vision to clothe his top half. Arthur then helped him under the covers but Merlin squirmed and protest "Arthur, no. You can't be caught with a servant in your bed."

Arthur sighed and continued to manhandle Merlin into a comfortable position in his bed, "Merlin. The doors locked remember? No one will see." He said as he crawled into the bed beside Merlin.

"At least put some clothes on first..."

Arthur paused, seeming to have forgotten about his own state of undress. "Right." He said as he got back up and walked behind the screen to retrieve his clothes.

Chapter Text

If you asked Arthur, he would say he wasn't a jealous person. He just didn't like when people gave flowers to HIS manservant. Or people receiving flowers from HIS manservant.

If you asked Merlin the same question, he would claim the prince was as jealous as they come.

...

Arthur's eyes paused on his manservant's neck, where a small purple flower was nestled into his neckerchief. He raised his eyebrows and tried to keep his expression plain, but he couldn't help the jealousy that was bubbling up inside of him.

"What's that?"

Merlin followed Arthur's gaze to his neck and let out a nervous laugh. He quickly took the flower from his neckerchief and held it in his hand and then extended it towards Arthur. As if showing it off and trying to make him more jealous.

"Gwen gave me a flower!" Merlin said with a fondness in his voice that Arthur didn't like at all. Why didn't he like it? Merlin wasn't his. They weren't dating, they were just friends. Just friends don't get jealous over being given flowers.

"Well, purple suits you." Arthur commented as he watched Merlin tuck the bastard flower back into his neckerchief. Merlin grinned, that stupid smile. "That's what Gwen said too." Arthur nodded along, wishing that Merlin would stop mentioning Gwen.

"Anyways, I need you to polish my armour." The lie slipped from Arthur's lips before he even realised it, Merlin had just polished his armour yesterday but he had been so subconsciously desperate to change the subject from Gwen and her stupid flower that was eating away at the prince's heart.

"But I just polished it yesterday!" Merlin complained, "well it's dirty again." Arthur said as he began walking towards his chambers motioning Merlin to follow.

The pair walked in silence to Arthur's chambers, Merlin was so silent that Arthur was worried that he had stopped following him at some point. But Arthur couldn't bring himself to turn around, couldn't bring himself to look at that flower again.

As the two entered Arthur's chambers, Arthur heard Merlin let out a loud groan of annoyance. "You know you have a chest for your socks for a reason! You can put your socks there instead of the floor!" He scolded as he bent down to pick up a dirty pair of socks.

As Merlin knelt down, the small flower fell out of his neckerchief. Arthur walked over and crushed it under his boot, faking an accident.

"Arthur!" Merlin cried out as Arthur lifted his boot, parts of the flower stuck to the bottom of it. "Oops." Arthur said. "Sorry"

Merlin shook his head, "It's fine, accidents happen." But Arthur could hear the sadness in his voice, and couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt.

He didn't know why he destroyed the flower, destroyed the gift someone had given to Merlin. But what he did know what that he didn't like the idea of Merlin receiving flowers.

____________

The next time Arthur noticed his dislike for Merlin being given flowers, is when he runs into Merlin in the castle holding a bouquet of flowers.

The manservant tries to hide the flowers behind his back but Arthur had already seen them. "Another gift from Gwen?" He asks trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.

Merlin shakes his head in response, "No, I got them as a gift for Morgana."

"For Morgana?"

Merlin nodded and tries to walk past but Arthur grabs his arm. "Arthur?" Merlin turns his head towards the prince. "I don't think you should give those to her, you'd be embarrassing yourself."

Merlin looked at Arthur, clearly confused "How?" He pondered, Arthur stuttered as he tried to come up with an excuse. "She's way out of your league." He said and felt his heart clench as he saw the faintest bit of hurt in the raven's eyes.

"It's not like that. They're just a gift..." Arthur shook his head. "Merlin trust me if you give them to her you'd be making a fool of yourself." He knew he was spitting nonsense at this point but he would rather die than have Merlin give those flowers to Morgana.

Arthur took the flowers from Merlin's hands.

"I've still got to go ask her something." Merlin said as he once again tried to get past Arthur. Arthur let him go this time still holding the bouquet of flowers in his hand.

A fine bouquet like that would brighten his chambers.

...

"He's clearly in love with you." Morgana lets out a soft giggle as she watches Merlin's face heat up. "It's not like that..."

"And what about the time when Gwen gave you a flower and he stomped on it?" Gwen placed an offended hand on her chest as she heard Morgana's words but couldn't help a giggle of her own escaping.

"Morgana does have a point, Arthur is clearly jealous of you receiving and giving flowers." Gwen commented placing a hand on Merlin's shoulder. "You really think so?" Merlin tilted his head, Arthur being in love with him? It felt like a cruel joke.

Or maybe a fantasy?

"I know a jealous man in love when I see one."

The words made Merlin think, could Arthur be in love with him? The situation with the flowers was strange, Merlin had thought the first had been an accident but the situation just minutes ago couldn't have just been a coincidence.

"So Merlin?" Morgana's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, "huh?" He responded dumbly. "Would you return his feelings?"

Merlin thought for a moment, he had always wanted to protect and care for Arthur but he had never thought hard enough about his deeper feelings for the prince.

The prince with golden hair, who treated everyone with fairness—except Merlin—the very man Merlin would give his life for.

"Yes. I would."

Merlin watched as Morgana's and Gwen's smiles reached higher. "You sure are brave Merlin," Morgana started and Merlin could practically feel the insult she was about to throw at the prince.

"I'd never date someone like Arthur, someone so possessive and easily jealous."

Merlin couldn't help the laugh, and Morgana and Gwen's laughed followed his.

But deep down, Merlin knew he was screwed.

He was in love with the prince.

Chapter Text

"It was truly one of your brightest ideas, Arthur — hunting in winter," Merlin grumbled, rubbing his hands together to coax some life back into his numb fingers. He stopped when he nearly slipped from his saddle, having let go of the reins.

"I don't like being cooped up in the castle all the time Merlin." Arthur replied his own hands, unlike Merlin's, protected by the warmth of his leather gloves. "And why exactly was it necessary to bring me along?" Arthur sighed, he was getting annoyed at Merlin's constant complaining. "Because you're my servant Merlin."

Arthur heard Merlin whisper an insult under his breath but chose to ignore it.

"I can't feel my fingers and toes, if I get hypothermia out here because of you Arthur I'll-"

Arthur rolled his eyes, "Don't be such a girl Merlin, you won't get hypothermia like this." He heard Merlin let out another loud groan from behind him. "That's easy for you to say, you've got warm clothes."

Merlin ignored Merlin's point, it was true that Arthur wore warmer clothes than Merlin. But as long as Merlin didn't strip himself naked or get wet he wouldn't catch hypothermia.

"This is a good area to look." Arthur dismounted his horse and scanned the area looking for any signs of a nearby animal. He found none but he was sure there'd be something further into the forest.

"Let's go deeper into the forest." Arthur commanded and didn't wait for an answer that he knew was just going to be a complaint, before walking into the trees.

Merlin watched him go as he tied the horses to a nearby tree and grabbed Arthur's hunting supplies before following after the prince.

As he walked deeper into the forest, he realised Arthur was no where in sight. "Arthur!?" He called out but the only response he got was the chilly air whistling through the trees.

Merlin chose a direction and ran forward hoping that was where his master had gone. He looked all around him in all directions, well, except ahead of him. He crashed into a body and fell onto the snow with a cry of surprise.

"Merlin! You idiot! This is hunting, you're meant to be quiet. You scared it away." Arthur scolded and surveyed the surroundings looking for whatever animal Merlin had scared off.

Merlin groaned as the cold snow dampened his clothes and making him shiver, "I'm fine don't worry." He said as he sat up brushing the snow off himself. He looked down at where he dropped the hunting supplies when he fell and tried to pick them up, but his fingers were numb and he couldn't pick them up. He knew that wasn't a good sign. Gaius had taught him that the first sign of hypothermia was numb fingers and toes, and Merlin had almost no feeling in either of them.

"Arthur I-"

Arthur snapped at him, "what is it now Merlin!?"

Something was clearly bothering the prince and putting him in a bad mood so Merlin decided to just keep quiet. "Nothing..." He mumbled as he stood up with great struggle, he couldn't even feel the ground beneath his feet. All he could feel in most parts of his body was the painful bite of the cold air and snow melted into his clothes.

Merlin wordlessly followed Arthur, last thing he wanted was to get lost again.

...

Arthur was growing more increasingly frustrated, the only animal he had come across was a deer and the clumsy idiot Merlin had scared it off. Arthur looked over his shoulder to check on his servant, who had been unusually quiet.

Merlin was pale, almost blue and his clothes looked damp. Must have been from when he fell in the snow, but Arthur didn't concern himself with that. He was more worried about his colour, Merlin had always been a pale and skinny boy but the shade of his current skin looked like death itself.

He stopped walking and turned his whole body around to face the raven, "Merlin?" he breathed as he took in the blue tint of his lips. Merlin stopped walking too but didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge that Arthur had spoken to him. It was as if Arthur was a ghost and Merlin was staring hauntingly through him.

Arthur took a step towards his manservant and then another until he was right in front of him. He placed a hand on the boys shoulder and could feel the cold, yet Merlin wasn't shivering. Merlin finally reacted to the touch and leaned into it, "Ar'r... mmm... y're warm..." Arthur could hardly understand the words as they slipped out of Merlin's lips

Arthur quickly shrugged off his cloak and wrapped it around Merlin's own shoulders, "Merlin, were going to get back to Camelot ok?" Arthur said slowly to make sure Merlin understood, but Merlin was back to being lost in the cold completely numb to everything else. Arthur tried to walk Merlin along to the direction of the horses, but the servant's knees where still and he would have fallen if it wasn't for Arthur's quick reflexes.

Arthur cursed under his breath and flung Merlin over his shoulder, making sure to readjust the cloak covering his body so Merlin could at least gain some heat. He felt Merlin squirm in his hold but tightened his grip, "Whe'...where y'takin' me...?"

"Home Merlin." Arthur responded plainly, Merlin continued to squirm a little in his hold but in a way it comforted Arthur. It let him know that Merlin hadn't passed out yet.

...

By the time Arthur had made it back to where they had left the horses, it had grown dark. Merlin had stopped struggling a while ago and Arthur had been to scared to check if he was still conscious. As he finally stood still, he realised how exhausted he was and had the dreaded realisation that he wouldn't be able to get both himself and Merlin home safely if he fell asleep during the journey.

He would have to set up camp for the night.

He got a blanket out of the pack saddle and laid it down on the floor, followed by merlin. He got the second blanket and laid it on top of him too, hoping it would keep him warm while he got some firewood.

Arthur was quick with getting the firewood and only good the bare minimum, desperate to get to his freezing servant. After a few unsuccessful attempts at starting a fire, there was finally a hear source and Arthur made sure to place Merlin as close to it as possible without risking him catching fire. An on fire Merlin would be worse than a freezing one.

He took the time to check Merlin over, noticing his stiff muscles, and the things that would haunt his dreams, his slow heartbeat and weak breaths. He had thought Merlin was just cold, but no. He was hypothermic.

He quickly pulled Merlin up to his chest to share his body heat with the freezing man, wrapping his arms under Merlin's armpits and around his midsection. He knew he needed Merlin awake, so gently and with caution he began to shake Merlin. "Merlin? Can you hear me? You need to wake up." Arthur surprised even himself with the gentleness in his voice.

Time seemed to freeze as Arthur waited for Merlin to wake up, but he didn't. Instead he groaned "M'ther... 'm c-cold..."

He couldn't tell if Merlin was just deep in a dream or if he really though Arthur was his mother right now, he decided to not question it and just focus on helping Merlin get warm. He checked how wet Merlin's clothes were and saw that his trousers where pretty much fine but his jacket and tunic were wet, it wasn't too wet but Arthur knew that they weren't helping with Merlin's temperature and needed to come off.

Making sure to keep the cloak around Merlin, so the cold wouldn't bite even more at his skin, he helped Merlin out of his jacket and then his tunic. During so, Merlin let out a small groan of pain. Arthur hated the sound and loved it at the same time, if Merlin was feeling pain it means he was either not that deep into the stages of hypothermia or he's already beginning to warm up and get better. But the sound still made his heart break and guilt ate away at him for making Merlin come on this hunting trip.

He held Merlin just the slightest bit tighter, unsure if he was trying to comfort Merlin or himself. He could feel the exhaustion creeping up on him, but he was terrified to sleep. What if Merlin got worse in the middle of the night? But what if Arthur was too tired to make the journey back to Camelot in the morning?

His thoughts were a war of what ifs, and it was just making him even more tired.

He took one last look at Merlin's face, noticing a tiny bit of colour returning to them. Either that or it was the fire illuminating his face, but it was enough to ease Arthur's nerves. He lay himself down and pulled Merlin with him, cradling the head of raven hair against his chest and closed his eyes. He just hoped Merlin would be better tomorrow.

...

When Arthur woke up the next morning, Merlin's head was still buried in his chest. The blonde placed two fingers under his servant's nose, pleased he feel that his breaths were stronger than they were last night.

He thought about getting some food into Merlin but he couldn't think of anything that would be in the forest for him to eat, all the plants had died from the cold and Arthur had learned from yesterday that there's almost no animals.

Camelot want too far away only a few hours, he'd be able to get to Gaius and he can treat Merlin and get him something to eat.

He reached down and pulled Merlin up, this time he stirred and his eyes cracked open. But the light seemed to bother them after being closed for so long , that he immediately closed them and went to shield his face with a groan.

"Arth'r... wha'sh goin' on...?" Merlin croaked out, voice gorse from misuse and lack of water. "You got hypothermia." Arthur explained as he helped Merlin sit up.

"I tol' youu... s-so..."

Arthur would have laughed if it wasn't for the guilt he was feeling. Merlin had told him so. And Arthur had ignored him.

Arthur scooped Merlin up and was about to place him on his horse but paused. What if Merlin fell back into unconsciousness and fell off, he could get a head injury. That wouldn't do. Merlin would ride with him, and Arthur would guide Merlin's horse to follow.

Arthur lifted Merlin up onto the horse first, holding him up with a steady hand. "I need you to hold onto the reins Merlin."

Merlin nodded and grasped the reins in his hands, his fingertips were still blue but he could move them now which made Arthur's heart beat easier.

Arthur reluctantly moved his hand away from Merlin's back and mounted the horse behind Merlin. Making sure to not knock the cloak off the servant's body.

"Whyy... 'm I shhh... shirtl'ss...?" Arthur pulled Merlin close to his chest. "Your shirt was wet." Arthur responded and began riding in the direction of Camelot.

...

Merlin had fallen asleep during the ride, by the time Arthur had reached Camelot his fingertips had regained their normal colour although he was still shivering and cold to the touch.

He scooped him back up and left the horses for the stable boy to deal with. He immediately started making his way towards Gaius' chambers, Merlin had woken back up and had asked something bit Arthur couldn't hear it through his own thoughts. Merlin was being okay.

He burst through the door and saw Gaius writing at a desk. The physician looked up in surprise and his eyes widened when he saw his ward being carried in by the prince.

"What happened!?" He yelled, motioning for Arthur to put him down on the patient's cot. Arthur placed him down gently, pulling the blankets up to cover him. "Hypothermia. It's gotten better now."

Gaius put a hand on Merlin's forehead feeling the cold skin, "would you mind fetching me some blankets sire?" Gaius requested, but Arthur had a better idea.

"Would it be better to have him stay in my chambers? It's warmer in there and there's a fireplace." He suggested. Gaius eyebrows raised in surprised "are you sure sire?"

Arthur nodded "It's my fault he's in this state the least I can do is other my chambers."

"Very well," Gaius bowed his head. "You take him up, I'll pack some things and meet you there."

Arthur gave a quick nod and scooped Merlin back up into his arms.

...

Arthur placed Merlin down onto his bed and pulled the blankets over him, he had called for a servant to come and light the fire while he was making his way to his chambers and they had done it and left silently, leaving a warm air in the room.

Gaius walked in minutes later with his medicine bag, he approached the bed and began to examine Merlin. "He has no injuries and will make a quick recovery if kept warm."

Arthur nodded along, his eyes not leaving Merlin's face, which minute by minute was regaining its natural colour.

"You did a good job keeping him warm Arthur." Gaius praised and put a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder.

Gaius left after that, claiming to have other patients to attend too. Arthur sat at his desk, trying to get some paperwork done but he couldn't keep his eyes off Merlin. What if Gaius had missed something? What if he didn't get better?

Eventually, Arthur heard a noise come from the bed and was on his feet in an instant. He rushed over to the bed where Merlin had begun to try and sit up and helped him up.

Arthur propped the raven up against the pillows and pulled the blankets back up to cover him. "Arthur...?"

Merlin's speech was clearer now, still a bit weak but clearer. The prince grabbed a nearby cup of water and brought it to Merlin's chapped lips. Merlin gulped down the water like man starved.

Merlin was starved.

It had been a day since he had last eaten.

"I'll be back." He promised as he moved Merlin's hands to grip the cup for himself. He jogged over to the door and poked his head out, catching the attention of the guards that were stationed nearby.

"Send for someone to bring some food, enough for two people." He commanded and the guards nodded. Arthur immediately retreated back into the room and back over to Merlin.

"Someone's gonna bring up some food." He said taking the now empty cup from Merlin's hands.

"I told you I was... gonna get hypothermia... you clotpole..." Arthur shook his head with a sigh. "I know. And I'm sorry." He bowed his head towards his servant. "I'll give you the week off to recover."

Merlin seemed happy with the answer, and that smile that Arthur had been dying to see spread across his face.

"Good to see you're not being an ass for once."

Arthur chuckled.

"And I'm glad to have you back Merlin."

Chapter Text

Merlin wasn't necessarily starved, but he didn't eat enough to be of normal weight. It was hard to when he spent most of his time doing chores for Arthur and Gaius, as well as fulfilling his destiny. So he often found himself skipping meals.

Growing up in Ealdor, Merlin was used to not having much food. So it didn't affect his health much and if it did, he didn't notice.

What it did affect though, was Merlin's weight.

The skeleton inside him seemed to be breaking through, as if the flesh had all but given up. His bones stuck out, hidden underneath his clothes. No one took notice, either they didn't look hard enough or they simply didn't care.

...

"Quit daydreaming Merlin, you've got chores to do." Arthur's harsh voice pulled Merlin out of his thoughts. "I already did them all." Merlin replied as he placed down Arthur's boots, which he had just finished cleaning, he stood up and dusted off his hands.

"You haven't mucked out the stables." Arthur chimed doing nothing to hide the smirk on his face as he watched Merlin's face fall. "Really?"

Arthur nodded and walked over to where Merlin was stood. Placing a hand around his shoulders. "Yes, come on I'll walk you over." He said faking friendliness in his voice. Arthur moved his hand, that was still on Merlin's back, a little "Merlin what have you got in your jacket?" The prince asked. Merlin gave his a confused look in return "Nothing?" he replied but Arthur had already began taking the jacket off the manservant.

"H-Hey what!?-" Merlin yelped as Arthur patted him down.

"Merlin." He began, something is the prince's voice sent a cold chill over Merlin, "Please don't tell me those are you're bones."

Merlin paused, this was the first time someone had noticed his lack of weight so he didn't really know what to say.

"It's not?"

The statement didn't convince the prince and Merlin wouldn't be convinced by it either, it sounded like he was asking a damn question.

"Merlin. Is it money problems?" The prince asked, seemingly concerned. Merlin shook his head frantically, "No!-"

But Arthur, the rude prat, cut him off again. "Then what is it!? You're so damn skinny I could break you like a reed."

Merlin forced Arthur's hands off him, "I just have to skip meals because I'm busy doing chores for you and Gaius." He explained and Merlin swore he could see the slightest crease of guilt on Arthur's face.  "Why didn't you say anything?" Arthur demanded.

"Because it's not a big deal. It's still more food than what I used to get in Ealdor." Merlin replied, but the fact did not seem to please Arthur. In fact, it seemed to make it worse.

"You should have told me about this ages ago!" Arthur scolded, placing his hands back on Merlin, trying to feel just how thin the servant was. This time, much to Merlin's surprise, Arthur's hands found his waist. Merlin let out a yelp as Arthur squeezed him tight, his fingers almost meeting.

"A-Arthur, what are yo-"

"You're waist is so thin." The prince used a different tone than before to say these words, a tone that seemed dangerous and almost lustful. "It feels good in my hands." The prince added as he lifted up Merlin's shirt.

Merlin let out a surprised cry and snapped his head towards the door, "Arthur!? What are you doing!?" He yelled trying to push the prince of him. Arthur couldn't be seen touching a servant in this way, it was bad for his reputation.

Arthur grabbed both of Merlin's wrists, seizing his struggles and forcing the raven to look into his eyes. "Merlin," He began in that same voice he had before, "I've caught the way you look at me. I'm not as stupid as you think I am, I notice you're stares."

Merlin gulped, ready for a scolding, it's true he had spent time admiring the prince when he thought he wasn't looking. Merlin couldn't help it, the prince was just so attractive.

"I've been watching you to Merlin, I want you too." Arthur growled out as he tightened his grip on Merlin's waist and pulled him closer until their chest where pressed together.

"What if someone sees?" Merlin turned his head back towards the door and Arthur followed his gaze, he released Merlin and stormed over pulling down the latch.

Merlin's heartbeat sped up as Arthur approached him like a wild beast hunting its prey.

"Now Merlin," Arthur placed his hands back onto Merlin's waist. He had gotten addicted now. "Let's take this to my bed shall we?"

Merlin nodded, not trusting his voice and Arthur took it as a sign to guide Merlin towards the bed and push him down. "After this I gonna treat you like a king, feed you with my bare hands." Arthur breathed against Merlin's neck, undoing the buttons on Merlin's tunic and pulling it off his body.

Arthur's smile faltered as he saw Merlin's ribs protruding through his skin, but he did not comment on it. Instead, he kissed down Merlin's chest and stomach until he reached the waistband of his trousers.

He pulled them down to Merlin's ankles and then helped the servant out of them before throwing them across the room.

"You're so small compared to me." Arthur wrapped one hand around each of Merlin's thighs and squeezed.

"Well... not everyone eats like a king." Merlin mumbled, trying to keep his moans and groans at bay as Arthur's fingers danced across his skin. "I'll make sure you do after this." Arthur promised as he began discarding his own clothes.

Merlin admired Arthur's body, sure he'd seen the prince undressed before. But never in these circumstances.

"Have you ever been with someone before?" Arthur asked and Merlin saw him reach nearby and return with a bottle of what Merlin presumed was oil.

"I haven't." Merlin responded. Arthur nodded, "Me neither."

Merlin must have spaced out and been too focused on Arthur's words to feel the touch of two fingers circling his rim. "A-Ah!?" He cried out grabbing onto Arthur's upper arms for support.

Arthur gave him both fingers at once and Merlin winced at the sharp sting. "Shh, its alright don't cry."

When had Merlin started crying? He brought his hand up to his cheek and sure enough, they were wet.

But Merlin wasn't sad, he was overjoyed. He was finally in bed with the man he loved.

The fingers curled inside him and Merlin saw stars. This had to be heaven.

Before he knew it, Arthur had a third finger inside him and was scissoring them around. The prince was  whispering dirty things into Merlin's ear, but Merlin couldn't concentrate on them. He was too focused on those rough fingertips and how good they felt inside him.

He almost felt his heart shatter into pieces when he felt them withdraw from him. He looked up at Arthur begging him with his eyes.

"Just one minute Merlin, I'm going to make us both feel good." Arthur promised as he oiled himself up and lifted both of Merlin's thighs until they were pressed against his chest.

Merlin felt something bigger than Arthur's fingers press against him and let out a desperate, needy whine, pushing back to try and get it inside him.

Merlin's wish was granted as Arthur pushed inside in one forceful thrust.

Merlin would be content to die here, wrapped around Arthur. Their bodies warming each other.

"Sorry. Was that too quick?" He heard Arthur apologize and press gentle kisses to his face. Merlin shook his head, "No. It felt amazing."

He felt Arthur smile against the skin of his cheek as he withdrew himself from Merlin's body and slammed himself back inside to the hilt.

Merlin cried out and raked his nails down Arthur's muscled back, leaving red marks as his imprint. "You feel so good." Arthur whispered, doing nothing to hold back his groans and grunts of pleasure.

"I need to be careful, I could snap you in half like a twig." Arthur teased unfolding Merlin's body.

Arthur gasped, placing a hand on Merlin's stomach. "I can see myself in you."

Merlin looked down and Arthur was right, there was a bulge in his stomach. Just how big was Arthur to have caused that?

Merlin put his hands on his own stomach, just above Arthur's.

"Shame I won't get to see this no more once I put some meat on you."

Arthur said something else after that, but Merlin could no longer concentrate. He was so close. He could tell Arthur was too, he could feel the prince twitching inside him.

It was just a few thrusts later that Merlin came onto their stomachs, he felt Arthur swipe it up in his fingers and he almost came again when he saw Arthur lick it up from his hands.

He felt the overstimulation kick in as Arthur didn't stop or even slow down his thrusts, chasing his own orgasm.

Arthur's face took over his vision as the prince leaned down to kiss what Merlin was expecting to be his face. Instead the blonde placed his lips against Merlin.

Their first kiss. It felt so right, like this moment was what Merlin was destined for. To be with Arthur and protect him.

Merlin felt heat burst inside him as Arthur reached his orgasm and collapsed on top of Merlin, knocking the air out of him in the process.

Arthur rolled off Merlin but kept a secure arm around him.

"I love you Merlin."

Merlin had never expected the confession to come from Arthur's lips. Even after the events of what had just happened.

But he smiled and reached down for Arthurs hands, intertwining their fingers.

"I love you too Arthur."

Chapter Text

"The sky is grey, Arthur. It's going to rain," Merlin said as he pointed up at the clouds, which were indeed thick and grey. "It's just a little bit of water, Merlin," Arthur retorted, gripping his reins and moving his horse forward ahead of Merlin.

"And what did I tell you about going ahead of me? I'm the prince. I lead." Merlin rolled his eyes at the prince's entitlement but didn't make a move to go ahead of him. He was more concerned about the upcoming rain. If he had to spend the night soaked, Merlin might have to turn Arthur into a frog. Merlin laughed to himself. Yeah, that seems like a suitable punishment.

"This is a good area." Arthur's voice pulled him out of his plotting and Merlin looked around, the surrounding forest was stony and Merlin spotted a few caves nearby. "Careful not to trip on the stones. The last thing I need is to be dragging your clumsy backside back to Gaius," Arthur added, half-joking as he dismounted.

Merlin followed suit, "I appreciate your concern, clotpole," he said as his feet hit the ground.

If it was any other servant, Arthur would probably have put him in the stocks for the insult. But it was Merlin, and everyone knew that was just how Merlin and Arthur talked.

"Let's go over there," Arthur said, pointing west and walking off. Merlin tied the horses to a tree and picked up Arthur's hunting supplies, which were, as always, unnecessarily heavy. But Arthur never listened to that complaint — too busy killing innocent animals for fun.

Merlin eventually caught up with him, he found the prince holding a poor rabbit. "We can have this for dinner Merlin!" He cheered once he saw Merlin. But Merlin wasn't impressed, "I don't know how you can be so happy after you've killed something." He said trying to not look at the bloodied creature still hanging in Arthur's grip.

Arthur approached Merlin and thrust the rabbit into his hands "Don't be such a girl Merlin. You're worse than a handmaiden"

Merlin fought the urge to retch as he was forced to hold the corpse, it was still warm.

He felt a trickle of wetness, Merlin would have thought he had started crying if he hadn't felt it on his forehead. Drop after drop fell onto his head, ah. It was raining.

"Arthur," He began, catching the attention of the blonde, "It's raining."

Arthur extended his hand. Sure enough, rain pattered against his palm, pooling briefly before dripping off. "We'll go find shelter in one of the nearby caves." He declared. "What about the horses?" Merlin asked but started following Arthur in the direction of a nearby cave, "They have the trees for cover, don't worry about them." Arthur replied and the two ducked into a nearby cave, the air already thick with the smell of damp stone.

"Shouldn't we get some firewood?" Merlin asked as he struggled to see in the dimly lit cave, Arthur shook his head, "It'll be fine, the rain will pass soon."

...

It most definitely did not pass soon.

They'd been there for a few hours, sat beside each other in the dark. The rain only seemed to get heavier and heavier, and the outside was growing dark.

"We should really get some firewood Arthur." Merlin insisted, Arthur was about to reply when a flash of light and a loud crash followed by a startled cry coming from no other than his manservant.

"Merlin what in the name of Camelot was that?" Arthur took a step closer towards the raven.

Merlin was shaking and had wide eyes. If Arthur didn't know any better he'd have thought a bear had come into the cave. "Are you seriously afraid of thunder Merlin?" Arthur let out a small laugh.

This man had drank from a poisoned goblet all while keeping a brave face, yet thunder scared him?

Merlin nodded, a look of shame on his face which made Arthur feel the slightest bit of pity for him.

Arthur's face softened and he placed a comforting hand on Merlin's shoulder and squeezed. "I guess we all have our fears."

Another strike of thunder hit and Merlin slid down the wall, Arthur walked over to him and crouched down beside him.

"Is there a story behind why you're scared of it?" He asked delicately, slightly cautious of the question bringing up something Merlin didn't want to think about.

Merlin nodded slowly before speaking, "Back when I was a child in Ealdor, there was a thunderstorm. Then they came, they were looking for a sorcerer. They were under the order of..."

Arthur swallowed, guilt washing over him. "My father."

Merlin didn't reply, but his silence was enough of an answer.

"I hid in my mother's arms. There was a man who had recently fled Camelot and they hunted him down. Killed everyone who was associated with him, I was so scared."

Arthur felt his heart break. He knew his father had killed innocents, executing people for being just associated with a sorcerer or even falsely accusing people.

But he had no idea that Merlin had experienced the fear of all of it.

"When I'm king I'll make sure that only the evil are punished and the good are protected. I promise you that."

Merlin's cracked upwards into a small smile, "You're a good man Arthur, and will be a great king."

Arthur's eyebrows raised a little, "Never thought I'd hear you complimenting me." He joked trying to lighten the mood. It worked because Merlin let out a small chuckle.

But then another crash echoed and he flinched again, backing himself even more into the corner. He wished his mother was here with him, he missed her most during thunderstorms.

"I miss my mother," Merlin whispered, his voice barely audible over the rumble of the storm. When he looked up, Arthur was already watching him, concern etched deeply into his face.

"You should visit her sometime soon." Arthur advised, Merlin nodded in agreement.

Arthur watched Merlin cower as the thunder didn't stop, he let out a sigh and moved his body to sit beside his servant.

He wrapped an arm around the raven and pulled him onto his side. Arthur had expected Merlin to resist, but instead he melted into it almost like it was where he was meant to be.

And it felt like it was.

Merlin felt so right with his body pressed up against Arthur's side. Their hands reached to intertwine with each other almost on instinct.

"You're special to me, Merlin," Arthur said, his voice unusually soft. "Not just because you're a good servant... but because you're a good friend." He added. Merlin's eyes looked up towards Arthur's, and the gaze they shared was almost magical.

"You're special to me to Arthur."

Arthur couldn't control his body, it was like him and Merlin were magnets that were drawn to each other. Inching closer until their lips met into a gentle kiss. Their actions seemed to surprise them both, but neither of them made a move to pull away.

Eventually, they were forced to pull away for air but they made sure not to break eye contact.

"You're a good kisser." Merlin complimented, a pink blush on his face.

Arthur smiled,

Arthur laughed under his breath, his heart strangely light. "You could use some practice."

Chapter Text

Merlin gasped as Arthur's hands trailed down his bare stomach, settling on the area above his hips. "You're so beautiful," the prince breathed against his manservant's neck, where a dark purple mark had begun to appear.

"Arthur..." Merlin sighed contently as he leaned into Arthur's touch, seeking more. Arthur moved his lips away from Merlin's neck and placed them on the raven's own lips instead, swallowing down every small noise Merlin made.

Merlin's hands threaded through Arthur's golden locks, trying to nudge him closer. Even with their lips and noses touching Merlin wanted to be closer to the prince. He needed to be closer to the prince. It was where he belonged.

Knocking echoed in the background but neither men noticed it, too lost in their own desire. It was only when they heard a familiar voice that they pulled away.

"Arthur, Are you there? I need to talk to you."

It was the king. Arthur's father. Arthur's notoriously strict father.

Arthur's eyes widened. In a split-second decision, he grabbed Merlin's shirt—which had been discarded on the bed—and shoved both the shirt and its owner into the nearby cupboard, slamming the door shut.

"Come in, father." Arthur said, his voice surprisingly calm given the situation.

Merlin clasped his hands over his mouth so the king wouldn't be able to hear his wheezy breaths. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to imagine he was home in bed, but he could feel the walls of the cupboard closing in on him suffocatingly. The air. Why was there no air?

Right. Merlin was covering his mouth. He removed his hands and took a quiet gasp for air, but still not enough air reached his lungs.

It was too small. Too tight. Too suffocating. Merlin could hear muffled voices from outside, but couldn't pay attention to them. The thumping of his own heart was too loud. His whole body throbbed with his heartbeat, he could feel it in his head, his toes, his fingers, everywhere.

He hadn't even realised he had started hyperventilating until it was too late to calm himself down. He couldn't make a noise, the king would banish him if he found out his activities with Arthur. And worse, Arthur would hate him.

He swallowed down his cries, silently choking on them as they tried to escape.

He wanted to scream—to beg Arthur to save him—but the words lodged in his throat. He didn't even have the power to breathe. He was going to die like this, suffocating in a cupboard.

What a stupid way to go, Merlin would have laughed at the thought had it not been for the absolute terror he was feeling right now.

He was growing increasingly lightheaded, he wasn't getting enough air into his lungs. He knew that. But he couldn't stop it.

His eyes, wet with tears, struggled to adjust to a sudden bright light, was this it? Had Merlin died from suffocating in a cupboard?

"Merlin!"

Came an echoed cry of his names and strong arms pulled him into an equally strong chest. "H-huh...?" He croaked out, finally finding his voice.

"Merlin what's wrong!?" Merlin's vision unblurred and he saw Arthur worried face in front of us. "I-" The rest of the words caught in his throat. What was wrong with him?

The prince gently led him over to the bed and sat him down, "It's okay, my father didn't see us." He said placing both his hands over Merlin's own, which had been resting on his lap. "It's not that... I... don't like small spaces."

Arthur nodded understandingly, "that's alright, sorry for shoving you in the cupboard." He placed a short kiss to Merlin's cheek as an apology. "It's okay, you didn't know, and besides we didn't want to be caught by the king." Merlin assured him with a faint smile. Arthur returned the smile but Merlin could still see the guilt in his eyes.

Arthur walked over to the cabinet and Merlin reached out for him with a pitiful whine, but Arthur returned moments later with Merlin's shirt. "Arms up." He commanded, Arthur complied with the order and soon enough his torso was clothed again.

"Why don't you get some rest? You had a small panic attack, you must have exhausted yourself with it." Arthur placed two hands on Merlin's shoulders and leaned him back on the mattress. "Come with me." Merlin grasped the prince's hand attempting to pull him down onto the bed.

But Merlin was so exhausted and Arthur was so damn heavy.

Arthur looked down at the Raven's face, he was giving him those eyes. The ones that made it impossible for Arthur to refuse him anything.

Arthur let himself fall into the bed beside his lover, pulling him close until Merlin was half on the bed and half on Arthur's chest.

"You know you can tell me anything," Arthur murmured his face pressed against the side of Merlin's face, his voice sending vibrations across the raven's skin.

Merlin let out a small nod and a hum, "I know, where's this come from?"

Arthur brought a hand up and brushed his fingers through Merlin's hair, "just wanted to let you know. If there's a reason you don't like tight spaces, you can tell me." Arthur assured, keeping his voice gentle and caring.

Merlin hummed, "just something from when I was younger."

He didn't want to be a bother, didn't want to worry Arthur.

"I just told you that you can tell me anything," Arthur ruffled Merlin's hair roughly, trying to lighten the mood even if just by the slightest.

Merlin let out a heavy sigh, "when I was a kid and still lived in Ealdor. I was ridiculed for... being different. They'd corner me and hit me, and lock me inside tight spaces for hours." Merlin said with a shudder, the explanation bringing up bad memories.

"Names."

Merlin tilted his head, "huh?"

"Give me their names Merlin." Arthur said. His voice deep, dangerous.

Merlin shook his head, letting out a soft chuckle at the prince's protectiveness. "There's no need-"

"Yes. Yes there is. If anyone as much as lays a finger on you, you're to come straight to me."

It wasn't an option. It was an order.

"Yes, sire," Merlin smiled.

"Don't call me that you idiot."

Chapter Text

Some days, Gaius insisted he should actually do some work as his apprentice and made Merlin stay at the physician's chambers and treat whoever came in. But Merlin was pretty sure that the old man just wanted a break.

When Gaius had first introduced the idea, in front of Arthur, Merlin had expected the prince to deny it. Arthur wouldn't be able to last without him. But instead, Arthur had been rather enthusiastic about it.

At first, he thought patients would come piling in constantly, sick and injured. But he never saw more than two or three a day and they would only be minor injuries, cuts, scrapes and the occasional broken bone.

So Merlin began to think of these days as days off. A time to relax, where he didn't have Arthur shouting commands in his ear every second.

He loved Arthur with all his heart. They were lovers after all, but the king could be so overwhelming to deal with.

The door to the physician's chambers creaked open loudly, but Merlin didn't look up from the book he was reading. "Gaius is out right now, what can I do for you?" He asked, his eyes still on the book.

Only after a few seconds of no answer from the person, did Merlin look up. He was surprised to see Arthur leaning on the doorframe. "Arthur?" Merlin tilted his head as he called the name of his master. "Are you injured?" he inquired, looking Arthur over, but he couldn't see any obvious injures.

"It's not exactly an injury, more of a problem. A problem that only you can cure." Arthur drawled as he approached Merlin with a small smirk on his face. "Are you sick? Take a seat." Merlin pulled out a three-legged stool for Arthur to sit on, but Arthur just walked around it to stand in front of his lover.

"I'm not sick."

Arthur took hold of Merlin's hand and guides it towards his crotch.

Oh.

OH.

"You dragged yourself down here for that? You know Gaius will kill us if he walks in." Merlin rolled his eyes, earning a small chuckle from Arthur.

"Can you cure me?" Arthur growled, his voice low and husky.

"I'll see what I can do." Merlin stands up and walks over to the door, pulling down the lock. He needs to give his patient privacy after all. "Sit down on the bed." Arthur obeys almost immediately, as if he were the servant and Merlin was his master.

"You're gonna have to take off your trousers so I can examine the area." Merlin walked back over to Arthur, who was already loosening the ties of his trousers, and got on his knees.

Merlin helped Arthur ease off his breeches and underclothes, which were tossed carelessly to the side. He couldn't bring himself to look away long enough to see where they landed. His fingertips grazed Arthur's thighs, as if checking for invisible bruises, but it was just an excuse to touch him. Arthur let out a low, shuddering breath—Merlin's teasing fingers were already driving him mad, and he hadn't even begun.

Merlin acted like Arthur wasn't fully unclothed in front of him, ignored the hard on just inches from his face. He probed around Arthur's inner thighs with a look of concentration on his face.

After a few minutes of the teasing touches, Merlin retracted his hands. "Well? What's your diagnosis?" Arthur asked, even though he knew Merlin wouldn't have found one. "I'll have to examine you some more." Merlin replied, placing his hands back on Arthur's legs. But this time, he trailed them up and didn't stop until his hands were on the king's cock.

Arthur let out a sharp gasp as Merlin's soft hands stroked over him with a concentrated hum coming from the acting physician's mouth. "I think I know the problem," he concluded.

Arthur raised his eyebrows, "and what's that?" He tilted Merlin's head to look up to him.

"You need release."

Merlin lowered his head, taking Arthur's cock back into his hands, but not losing eye contact with the king. He placed a small kiss to the flushed tip, receiving a sharp gasp from Arthur in return. The blonde's fingers tangled in his hair, guiding him down until his lips reached the base.

"C'mon Merlin, cure me." Arthur petted the raven locks between his legs. Merlin choked around Arthur's girth, looking up with lustful eyes towards his lover.

Merlin's mouth felt heavenly, so tight and warm and so wet. A puddle of spit had gathered at Arthur's base, Merlin had always been messy. Greedy.

Arthur tightened his grip on Merlin's hair, the servant whimpering at the sharp sting of the tug at his scalp. The king began to guide his movements, pulling him up and down using Merlin's mouth for his own filthy desire.

"You feel so good, I can feel it healing." Arthur growled quickening his pace, making Merlin choke.

Arthur saw a flash of burning white, his whole body overcome with pleasure. He came down Merlin's throat with a low moan and released his servant's hair.

Merlin pulled away with a gasp, a drop of cum dripping from his lips down to his chin. "Feel better, sire?" He croaked, voice hoarse from the rough treatment.

"Yes, but I think I still need something more." Arthur pulled Merlin back onto his feet and began untying the ties of the raven's trousers.

Merlin understood the implication immediately, joining Arthur's hands and ridding himself of his clothes. As soon as the rags were out the way, Arthur pulled Merlin waist first into his lap.

"How else can I treat you?" Merlin placed his hands onto Arthur's shoulders. Arthur placed his own on Merlin's waist, "You're the physician, you tell me."

Merlin shook his head with a small chuckle "we both know that's not true Arthur, I know the bare minimum. I need you, my master, to tell me what to do, sire."

Arthur almost came on the spot. Merlin knew exactly what Arthur liked, knew exactly how to turn him on.

"I need you to ride me Merlin."

Arthur watched Merlin face closely, watched his pupils dilated and the pink flush on his cheeks go red.

Merlin lifted himself up, he didn't need prep it was only last night that he and Arthur had sex, and sank down in one fluid motion.

The moan that Merlin let out was higher in pitch than he wanted it be, the first thrust was always the best. "This feels even better than your mouth." Arthur groaned.

Merlin began to bounce himself, panting from the heat of their intimacy. His fingernails dug into Arthur's shoulders, leaving red crescent indents.

"Arthur..." Merlin breathed. He said his lover's name just for the sake of it. Just to feel that familiar, delicious taste on his tongue.

"Keep going! Just like that Merlin- F-Fuck!" Arthur cried out sharply as he forcefully pulled Merlin down, cumming deep inside the servant.

Merlin's own orgasm had splattered across Arthur's lower stomach. Thick and warm.

Arthur didn't make a move to pull out. Instead, he held the one he loved so dearly closer. "Still feeling overwhelmed?" Merlin asked softly, brushing sweat-damp hair from Arthur's brow.

Arthur hummed. "Much better. But I'll need another appointment tomorrow."

Chapter Text

Merlin hated lying. To the king, to the the knights. To his friends.

His magic sometimes felt like a curse. It was helpful, and he'd saved Arthur and himself along with many others countless times. But, it was so painful to look Arthur in his gorgeous eyes and lie to him.

He couldn't do it anymore, it was physically painful. He had to tell Arthur everything. If he was burned at the stake, at least he could die with his chest light. He wouldn't blame Arthur for executing him, it was what he deserved for lying to the king for years. For lying to his friend for years.

...

"Arthur."

The king turned his head towards the manservant, taking notice of the solemn look on his face and giving him a confused look. "What do you need, Merlin?"

Merlin stood for a moment, still. Silent. Battling an internal war.

"I need to tell you something." He finally said, his voice not its usual cheerful echo but instead carrying a sadness that terrified Arthur.

"Get on with it, I don't have all day." Arthur was being rude, hoping to get a snappy remark back from Merlin, he could tell something was off the boy. He'd been off for a few days, so unlike himself.

But Merlin just lowered his head, like all the fight he's had the past years had left him.

Arthur could have sworn he'd heard a small sniff as Merlin brought a hand up to cover his face.

"Merlin?"

The blonde took a step forward. He could feel the emotions radiating off Merlin, he was scared.

"I have... I have Magic." Arthur had never heard Merlin sound so weak, so afraid.

Arthur held back a laugh, Merlin had been spending too much time in the tavern. He's not in his right mind.

Despite his efforts to hold it back, the laugh escaped echoing through the chambers. "Really, Merlin?"

Merlin looked up from the floor like a wounded animal, shocked that Arthur was laughing at him. Did the king think it was a joke? Merlin was almost angry.

"It's not a joke." He growled, a low tone that was almost scary.

"Show me then Merlin." Arthur walked back over to his chair and sat back down on it, looking a Merlin expectantly.

Arthur had expected Merlin to cast some silly fake spell, some gibberish that would mean and do absolutely nothing.

Instead, Merlin's mouth opened and the foreign words came out.

"hýpel tô mîn folm"

Heat engulfed Merlin's lower arm as a flame floating in his palm.

A thousand thoughts went through Arthur at once. His mind screamed sorcerer, screamed danger. But his heart screamed for the beautiful gold that took over Merlin's irises when he whispered the words.

"I'm sorry Arthur." Merlin sobbed. "I use it for you." He added on not even bothering to wipe at the tears leaking from his eyes anymore, more would just form in their place.

Merlin blinked and Arthur was infant of him. When had he even gotten up from the chair?

The King's face was unreadable and that scared Merlin terribly so.

"Do it again."

To Merlin's surprise, Arthur didn't sound angry. His voice carried a certain awe to it.

"bewadan âstellan mîn slîefe"

Arthur started straight into Merlin's eyes as they flashed gold once again. Such a rich, bright gold that took his breath away.

And here he thought Merlin couldn't get anymore beautiful.

Arthur hadn't even noticed what the spell had done until a butterfly brushed past his cheek, a sapphire blue in colour.

He'd never seen magic so beautiful, all the magic he'd seen before was evil and murderous. But Merlin's magic was almost as beautiful as its owner.

"You're eyes are so beautiful when gold."

Arthur watched as the raven's eyes widened, a faint blush spreading across his pale face. "W-what?" He muttered, believing that he must have gone mad. Arthur wasn't yelling at him, wasn't executing him, instead he was complimenting him?

"It's beautiful, your magic."

Arthur wiped a tear from Merlin's cheek as he watched the servant process the statement.

"You're not... angry...?" Merlin choked on the words like they didn't want to escape his throat.

"I don't know," Arthur replied honestly, "I'm feeling a lot of things, but the main one is love for you. The real you."

Arthur placed his hands on Merlin's sides, allowing a hug but not forcing it.

Merlin let out a heavy sob and collapsed into it, his body colliding against Arthur's with such strength that the other would have fallen over had he not been a warrior.

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I was scared to die-" Arthur shushed him cradling the raven head against his chest. "Don't be sorry, I get why you didn't tell me."

Arthur felt his shirt grow wet with Merlin's tears, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His Merlin needed him, needed him to be that shoulder to cry on.

"I love you Arthur. I use my magic to protect you."

Suddenly all of the fallen trees and all of the enemies who had dropped their swords made so much more sense.

Merlin had saved him. And Arthur had called him a coward.

Guilt washed over him as he pulled Merlin tighter. It felt like to pull away would kill him. He needed Merlin in his arms.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered, "I won't let anyone hurt you." The promise was a lifeline for Merlin. A reason to live.

"And I won't let anyone hurt you." He promised back. "I was born with this gift to protect you. Its my destiny."

Arthur seemed surprised at that, "born with it?" He questioned, as far he as he knew that wasn't possible. But Merlin nodded, "I'm a warlock, I was born with magic. Unlike sorcerers who learn it."

Arthur nodded along taking in the information. "So some people can't help it?"

Arthur mind jumped to the thousands executed by his father. What if some where born with it? He knew his father had wrong wrongly executed many people but the thought that people had been executed for the way they were born was sickening.

"I'll lift the ban on magic."

Merlin felt lightheaded and his knees buckled. This had to be a dream, first Arthur wasn't mad and now this?

He felt himself being lowered down onto the familiar softness of Arthur's bed, and then came Arthur's voice, soft and calming, "Merlin? It's okay."

Merlin hadn't stopped crying, but his tears where no longer from sadness. They were happy tears.

This wasn't a dream. Arthur's touch was real, Arthur's voice was real and Arthur's love was real.

"Thank you Arthur," Merlin's voice was less shaky now, more stable. More confident.

Arthur smiled "You could do more magic to thank me, let me see those eyes."

Merlin never thought he would have heard them words come from Arthur's mouth, but he way overjoyed. Someone was seeing him as something beautiful and not a monster.

"What do you want to see?" Merlin asked straightening his back to look more proper.

"Flowers." Arthur responded.

"têafor lêo heolfor ðyncan 3 ðûhte into mîn tilia."

Merlin opened his palm, a bright red rose in his palm. The thorns had cut into one of his fingers drawing small droplets of blood.

Arthur took the rose from his hands twirling it between his fingers. The thorns creating a cut that matched Merlin's own.

Then, he outstretched his hand offering the rose back to Merlin with a smile.

"For you my love?"

Chapter Text

"Is there anything you're actually good at?" Arthur's words held no bite behind them, more of a playful banter than an insult.

"I seem to put up with you quite well," Merlin huffed in response, both from annoyance and exhaustion from having to carry Arthur's armour.

This was normal for the two men, they spent most of their time arguing and insulting each other. And neither would change it for the world.

"I think lasting this long with your royal arse is the greatest accomplishment of my life." Arthur could sense that stupid smile, even though Merlin's face was covered by the armour he was carrying, he just knew it was there.

"I'm surprised I haven't fired you yet. You can't even show up on time most days." Arthur retorted, giving Merlin a playful shove.

He watched in amusement as Merlin flailed and dropped the armour, he managed to steady himself and flashed a glare towards Arthur.

"Prat."

Merlin took a step towards Arthur, like he would actually be able to get his hands on him - he'd tried before and failed - but he had seemed to have forgotten the armour on the floor and slipped on it.

Arthur almost burst out laughing at the scene as he watched his servant fall to what he expected to be the floor. But Merlin fell lower, and Arthur came to a sick realisation that they were at the top of a staircase.

His world seemed to move in slow-motion as he watched Merlin make the same realisation, all playfulness disappearing from his eyes and being replaced with raw fear.

Arthur lunged forward, his hand brushing Merlin's fingertips—so close, yet not close enough. The helplessness hit like a blade to the chest. He held his breath as he watched hopelessly as Merlin fell. His body became paralyzed, unable to blink or even breathe. He could do nothing but stand there and watch as Merlin fell.

It was only when he heard a sickening crack of something hitting the bottom did his body respond, "MERLIN!" He screamed as he rushed down the stairs his manservant had fallen down just moments ago.

He rushed down them with such speed and desperation that he almost tripped and had to steady himself multiple times. But he didn't slow down, Merlin needed him. And he needed Merlin to be alright.

Once he reached the bottom he felt his heart drop. Merlin lay twisted at the bottom, motionless, a dark pool of blood seeping beneath him. His stillness was wrong—unnatural, terrifying. But, Arthur had to remind himself, this wasn't natural. Merlin had fallen down stairs he could have so many injuries with effects Arthur didn't even want to think about.

He placed a hand under Merlin's nose to check for breathing.

A weight was lifted off his chest once he felt a puff of air against his fingertip, but it slammed back down once he realised how weak they were.

"GUARDS!" He roared, his voice echoing up the staircase until two guards poked their heads around the slight curve of the staircase. "Fetch Gaius." He ordered, his voice desperate. He watched as the two guards turned with very little urgency. "NOW!" He screamed at them and they obeyed without further question.

Arthur blocked out the sound of their retreating footsteps, returning his attention back to the man on the floor.

Arthur cupped the back of Merlin's head with shaking fingers. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "You were right—I'm a prat. Just wake up."

Arthur didn't know if he was expecting Merlin to get up and be perfectly fine, and the two would walk away again arguing playfully. But of course Merlin gave no reply, almost completely still on the floor the only movement being the weak rise and fall of his chest.

Arthur's eyes stung with tears, blurring his vision. Arthur would give up the throne just for Merlin to open them damn eyes and call him a prat and clotpole or one of his other stupid insults.

As if God had answered his prayers, Merlin's eyes cracked open.

"A-Art..ur...?" He choked, spitting out a droplet of blood that Arthur hoped had just been from a missing tooth or busted lip.

"I'm here, Merlin." Arthur hovered his hands over Merlin's body, afraid to touch him and cause more damage. Merlin squirmed and Arthur lowered his hands to gently press against the servant's chest, seizing his movements.

"Don't move Merlin." He used the voice he used to give out orders to let Merlin know that it was a command.

"Wha— Ow!"

Merlin's pained cry startled Arthur and he lifted his hands, afraid that it was him who'd inflicted the pain on the raven. "What hurts Merlin?" He asked, but he was sure after that fall everything must hurt.

"My... back..." Merlin's voice was a wheeze, even breathing sounded painful for the poor boy. "Does it hurt anywhere else?"

"No... body feels numb, everywhere... everywhere except my back..."

Arthur wanted to feel relieved that Merlin wasn't in too much pain. But he knew the numbness couldn't be good news.

Desperate footsteps echoed down the staircase as Gaius came running with a cry of "Merlin!"

The physician fell to his knees beside his ward, "Merlin?"

"He said he can't feel anything beside his back." Arthur said desperately shuffling back a little to give Gaius room to work.

A worried look overtook the old man's expression "bring the stretcher here now!"

Gaius must have planned ahead, expected the damage because the two guards that Arthur had sent to fetch the physician earlier came running down the stairs carrying a stretcher between them.

"Arthur I need you to help me lift him up so the guards can place it under him. Do it carefully and move him as little as possible." Gaius instructed.

Arthur nodded and gently placed his hands under Merlin's armpits while Gaius took his feet.

On the count of three the pair lifted him up. Both wincing at the pained groan Merlin let out.

As soon as the stretcher was placed underneath Merlin, Arthur and Gaius lowered him back down onto it.

The guards were quick to pick it back up and rush to the physician's chambers, Arthur and Gaius on their trail.

...

"Put him down there!" Gaius commanded, motioning to the patient cot in the centre of the room.

The knights shuffled over and Arthur helped manoeuvre a now unconscious Merlin onto the cot.

"I need to take his shirt off to check for internal damage." Gaius said. Arthur didn't hesitate, pulling the dagger he always carried out of his belt and cutting through Merlin's clothes. He knew it'd be to dangerous too twist and turn Merlin to get him out of his clothes.

He'd buy Merlin a replacement, all Merlin had to do was wake back up and complain and Arthur would offer.

Gaius nodded his thanks and moved his hands to Merlin's stomach, prodding around for internal damage.

Arthur held his breath as he watched Gaius work, the elderly man's expression was so hard to read that Arthur couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Well?" He asked once the silence had gotten too much for him.

"He doesn't have any internal damage, but he does have a concussion. It'll be hard to know anything about his back injury until he's regained consciousness, but... you should prepare for the worst. Merlin might not be fit to be your servant—"

Arthur cut off the foolish statement before Gaius could finish, "That's not going to happen. He'll be fine."

Arthur combed his fingers through Merlin's hair delicately, as if he were trying not to damage the already broken man.

"He's going to okay Gaius." He repeated, trying to convince himself.

Arthur said nothing more. But inside, he made a vow—not to Camelot, not even to Gaius. To Merlin.

He would not let him fade. He would fight for him, the way Merlin had fought for him a hundred times over.

...

It was a week later that Merlin woke up. He'd regained feeling in his body, but he'd wished it would go back away. Everything hurt, an aching pain even time he so much as shifted.

Gaius had been probing ever since he woke up only minutes ago, telling him to wiggle his fingers and toes, lift this and that.

Merlin was just too tired.

Some limbs felt too heavy for Merlin to lift. He could only hover them a few inches above the air. This seemed to concern Gaius as well as Arthur, who had been sat beside him the whole time not saying a word.

Finally Arthur spoke, "is he going to still be able to serve me?"

If Merlin had the strength, he would have laughed. Of course Arthur was only worried about Merlin losing his ability to serve him. Though Merlin couldn't ignore the concern he heard in the King's tone.

"He'll have to train to regain mobility in his limbs." Gaius explained and Merlin could see Arthur nod along from the corner of his eye.

"I'll train him myself." The blonde spoke up, leaving no room for argument. Gaius nodded, "that's very kind of you sire."

Merlin tilted his head towards Arthur, his neck screaming in protest. "You... train me...?" He whispered. Arthur nodded, placing a comforting hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"Yes. It's the least I can do, I'm the reason you're like this after all..." Arthur's voice was solemn, guilty.

Merlin shook his head, ignoring the pain. "Not... you're fault." He muttered, grinding his teeth together to stop the pained noises from escaping.

"It is Merlin, and for once in your life do as you're told and let me help you."

Merlin found the strength to laugh. A weak one, but a laugh.

And it warmed Arthur's heart.

He would make Merlin regains his strength. Help him every minute of every day. All for his Merlin.

Chapter Text

Being a warrior meant that Arthur couldn't be afraid to die. He had to charge forward into battle with no other thought in his mind except to win.

Win for Camelot.

But the truth was, Arthur was terrified of death. He didn't want to die.

Sometimes he wished he were a normal man—not a king, not a knight, but a peasant. A man who didn't have to wake up every morning fearing it would be his last.

But Arthur was the king and he had to act like it. Kings weren't scared.

"Merlin."

The servant tilted his head to look towards his master, "yes?" he responded, in that voice that always managed to calm Arthur down.

"There's a chance I'm going to die in this fi—"

Merlin cut him off. "There's always a chance you'll die in battle, Arthur... But you always turn out fine." The Raven's voice was unusually serious.

"This is different," Arthur started as he took a step closer to his servant, who was sharpening his sword, "the army out there is stronger than any I've faced. Both in skill and in will." He continued, studying Merlin's face.

"You're not getting permission to die Arthur." Merlin said with a small chuckle which Arthur quickly returned, Merlin always knew how to lighten the mood. "I'm just saying..." Arthur scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"You're not allowed to. I won't let you." Merlin had put down Arthur's sword by now, it laying forgotten on the table. "I don't know how you're going to help me." Arthur joked, coming off meaner than intended.

"Sorry."

Merlin's lips twitched upwards, "It's going to be okay Arthur, I know it is. It's alright for you to be scared..." One of Merlin's hands found Arthur's and squeezed gently, the touch easing Arthur's nerves and putting his own smile onto the Prince's face.

"I know it is, but... If I do die out there, there's something I want to tell you..."

Merlin looked up at Arthur with a confused look on his face, "what is it?"

Arthur stayed silent for a moment, unsure of how to phrase his next words. He could drive Merlin away forever, but he couldn't die without getting this off his chest.

"I'm in love with you, Merlin." The words escaped before he could stop them.

Merlin's eyes widened—not in confusion, but in stunned silence, like someone who had just glimpsed the edge of a truth he wasn't ready for. "You... love me...?" He muttered, Arthur's words felt like a joke to the Raven.

The same man that overworked him on a daily basis? Who never gave him any credit and was constantly insulting him was confessing his love for him?

Arthur nodded. "I know it sounds mad. But I can't help it—I'm drawn to you like the tide to the moon."

This was the most sincere that Merlin had ever heard the king be, and he could just tell that the words had come from his heart.

"I-" Merlin was cut off by the sound of a knight calling for the king. "Sire! The enemy is upon us!" The voice echoed from outside the tent.

Merlin and Arthur shared a glance before Merlin nodded, picking up Arthur's sword from the table and handing it back to him. "Don't die." His voice came out as an order. A command.

Arthur couldn't die, they had to finish the earlier conversation.

Arthur nodded in response before walking off towards where the voice had come from. Leaving Merlin alone, scared. Just hoping that Arthur would come back.

...

Arthur tried to keep his panic under control. The battlefield was a flash of red. Not just the Camelot cloaks, but blood.

Camelot was losing, but Arthur couldn't give up. A king doesn't give up, he fights and dies for his kingdom.

The man Arthur was fighting was a monster of a man, unusually tall and muscles that would put even Percival's to shame.

His pure strength was beating Arthur. He hadn't landed a fatal hit yet, but Arthur knew the fight wasn't one he could win.

Every time the man swung his sword, Arthur almost lost his balance with the force from it. He was pretty sure the only reason he was still standing was the pure willpower to not to just get back to his kingdom but to get back to Merlin.

He confessed his feelings for Merlin in hopes of dying in peace. But now he couldn't let himself die without knowing if Merlin liked him back or not.

He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind, if he were to get back to Merlin he couldn't get distracted from the battle.

He attacked his opponent's hands, hoping to disarm him.

But he watched with amusement as the sword in the other man's hand became bright orange at the handle, almost like it was fresh out of the furnace. Arthur knew sorcery when he saw it.

A scream of pain ripped through the air as the man dropped the sword and cradled his hand. Arthur took the opportunity and speared his sword through his chest.

Arthur whipped his head around trying to catch whoever had casted the spell and saved him.

He caught a glimpse of a familiar head of raven hair on a nearby hill, eyes glowing a slight gold.

Merlin.

Merlin was a sorcerer.

But Arthur couldn't bring himself to care about that fact right now. All he could think about was the fact that Merlin had saved him. Merlin, who was aware of the penalties of the using magic in Camelot, yet he had still used it to save the king. And by the looks of it, this hadn't been the first time.

God help him—Arthur fell more in love with Merlin every day.

But if he were ever to see his love again, he had to win this battle first.

...

After almost a day of constant fighting, Camelot won the fight. Every time Arthur turned around, Merlin was there. Golden eyes illuminating his face. And although Arthur had been raised to think that magic was bad, Merlin couldn't be bad. Merlin was one of the sweetest souls the king has ever met, feeling sorry for everything even the animals Arthur hunted.

On the ride back to Camelot, Arthur didn't see Merlin—and it tore at him. Merlin was his servant and belonged by Arthur's side. The only reason he hadn't sought out the man personally was because he knew Merlin would be tending to the wounded.

Wounded men that had gained injuries fighting for Camelot. The least Arthur could do was allow them to have Merlin for a bit.

Once they reached the castle, Arthur caught a glimpse of Merlin dismounting from a horse and was about to call out to him but stopped when Merlin was already rushing off in the direction of the physician's chambers.

It almost seemed like Merlin was avoiding him.

Maybe Merlin didn't return his feelings, but Arthur had survived. And that meant he had a second chance to find out.

The king made his way back to his chambers, he trusted Merlin to come to him when he was ready. He didn't take off his bloodstained armour when he was there, he liked when Merlin did it. It was an excuse to have the servant's hands on him. Those same hands that plagued his dreams every night, trailing down his body and gripping at Arthur's shoulders and hips.

He found himself staring at the door, just waiting for Merlin to walk in. His stomach rumbled and his limbs ached, but he refused to do anything before talking to Merlin.

It was a few hours later that Merlin walked into the room, a nervous expression on his face. Arthur jumped up from his seat straight away, "Merlin!" he exclaimed, jogging over towards where his servant stood.

"Arthur..." Merlin's tone was unidentifiable which only increased Arthur's nerves. "Merlin. It's okay if you don't return my feelings. But don't let my confession ruin us." Arthur pleaded, taking Merlin's hand in his own.

Merlin's slim fingers wrapped around Arthur's knuckles, squeezing the King's hand. "Arthur... I needed time to think about my feelings," Merlin muttered Arthur stared at the servant with wide eyes, waiting for rejection.

"And I came to a conclusion, Arthur... I return your feelings."

Arthur's world moved in slow motion as he processed the words. "You like me back?" He asked, staring into Merlin's eyes and seeing love and warmth in them.

Merlin nodded, that stupid grin on his face.

But even though Merlin had returned Arthur's feelings, the blonde knew they still hand something to talk about.

"Merlin." He said in a more serious tone, Merlin's grin faltered slightly but didn't fall. "Yes Arthur?"

Arthur paused, unsure of how to phrase his next words. He placed both hands on Merlin's shoulders to stop him from running away.

"I know about your magic Merlin."

Merlin's eyes widened and this time, his smile did fall. His face paled and knees buckled under his weight but Arthur wrapped a supporting arm around him.

"It's okay Merlin, I'm not angry."

Merlin let out a heavy sob and collapsed into Arthur's chest. Arthurs lowered the both to the floor, cradling the raven head against his chest.

"I-I... wanted to tell you." Merlin choked on the words, "Shh, I understand why you didn't. It's alright," Arthur's hands ran through the threads of Merlin's hair while the other still held on tightly to the trembling hand.

After a few minutes of sobbing, Merlin lifted his head from Arthur's chest. "You're really not mad?"

Arthur shook his head, moving his hand from Merlin's hair to his cheek. "Of course not. I could never be mad at you, love." He said warmly.

"How'd you find out...?" Merlin had stopped crying now, reduced to just a quiet sniffle every now and then.

"In the battle, you saved me."

A faint blush spreading across Merlin's cheeks, "you saw that...?" He muttered, he had wanted so long to be recognised for his actions but that he had been, he couldn't help but feel embarrassed.

"Yes—and thank you," Arthur said, voice softer than he meant. "I owe you more than my life."
Merlin gave a breathless laugh. "Well, you did just drop a bombshell and then run into battle. I wasn't about to let you die before explaining yourself."

Arthur shook his head, "It's not just that, how many times have you saved my life?"

Merlin thought for a moment, just how many times had he saved the King's life? He'd lost count.

"At least thirty, probably more." He decided upon.

"Then I owe you my life Merlin." Arthur pulled Merlin closer, close enough so that Merlin could lean into a kiss if he wanted to but not forcing it.

Merlin accepted the gesture and pressed his lips against the King's. The two enjoyed the kiss, their lips melting into each others moulding into one.

Merlin clawed at Arthur's chainmail, making an unhappy noise when it got in the way of his hands and Arthur's chest.

He pulled away from the kiss and began undoing the buckles to Arthur's chainmail with desperation. This was the last barrier between him and Arthur and it had to go.

Once the chainmail was off Merlin wasted no time in clawing at Arthur's shirt, which was the next thing to go. Merlin dug his nails into the King's bare chest, Arthur replied with a pained grunt but did not stop the action. Instead he put his hands on Merlin's lower back pulling him in closer.

"I'm at your command now, Merlin." He growled into the Raven's ear. Merlin had to resist rolling his eyes at Arthur's cheesiness, "I want you to give me the week off."

Arthur huffed, "I can't stay away from you for that long." He complained, Merlin let out a small laugh.

"Spend the night in bed with me then?" He compromised as he stood up, bringing Arthur with him. The blonde nodded with desire in his eyes and dragged Merlin towards the bed.

Merlin let himself gracefully fall onto the soft mattress below, letting out a content sigh at the feeling of Arthur's weight on top of him.

Arthur's touch coaxed a sigh from his lips as the King's lips kissed and teeth nipped at his neck. He pulled the man closer, pressing every inch of their bodies together.

Both their growing hardnesses began to strain through their pants, rubbing together with a sensitiveness that felt almost heavenly.

"Arthur-" Merlin gasped out when Arthur's lips brushed across an especially sensitive spot on his neck. "Please..." He whimpered a pathetic, needy sound. A sound that was music to Arthur's ears.

"Shh, I'll give you everything you want and have ever wanted." Arthur hands ripped at Merlin's clothes, revealing his flushed skin. Which Arthur wasted no time in kissing all over, every curve and dip was left untouched by his lips.

"I want to please you... sire..." Merlin gasped out as he gripped Arthur's belt, which was holding up Arthur's last piece of clothing.

"We'll please each other," Arthur whispered—a vow more than a promise, his voice low with reverence.

Arthur tore away from Merlin, creating just enough room to unbuckle his belt and pull off his trousers. They were thrown across the room, forgotten about as soon as they left Arthur's grasp.

The blonde was back on his lover in seconds, placing extra kisses to his chest and stomach to make up for lost time.

Merlin let out a low moan in response, pulling Arthur back up to his lips by his hair. "I need you Arthur," Merlin practically begged, willing to do anything just to feel at one with Arthur.

"And you'll get me," Arthur pulled away again this time getting off the bed fully, leaving Merlin missing him.

"Arthur?" He heard the raven ask, but Arthur didn't look back he couldn't let anything lengthen his journey. "I'm just fetching some oil," Arthur responded and Merlin said no more, Arthur could almost imagine his servant's beet red face.

He reached the drawer and rummaged through it finding a vial of oil. He held it securely in his grip before speeding back to Merlin, who was still waiting for him on the bed.

As soon as Arthur reached the foot of the bed, Merlin wrapped his legs around his waist and with surprising strength pulled Arthur on top of him.

Arthur went down willingly, his bare skin colliding with Merlin's with a soft slap.

"Someone's desperate?" Arthur teased, Merlin's legs pulled him in tighter in response. This time, Arthur did resist. "I need to prepare you Merlin, I can't do that if you keep trapping me."

Merlin made an unhappy noise but loosened his legs anyway, allowing Arthur to pull back. Arthur pulled the cork of the vial out with his teeth and spat it out. "Have you ever done this before?" He muttered as he began to pour the slick liquid over his fingers.

Merlin nodded, "once," he responded and Arthur couldn't help the twinge of jealously he felt at the revelation. "With who?" Arthur murmured against Merlin's neck, the servant could practically feel the jealousy through the vibrations of his voice.

"With Will," He responded, and Arthur seemed to relax at that. He had sympathy for the man's death, but a dead man couldn't take what was his even if he had it in the past.

"I'm gonna be better than him," Arthur promised and Merlin couldn't help the snicker that escaped at Arthur's typical competitiveness. "Yeah?"

Merlin's words were a challenge and they both knew it, "Yeah." he confirmed as he trailed his oiled fingers down Merlin's hip.

Merlin shivered at the touch, when he had done this with Will they didn't have the luxury of oil. They had to make do with saliva, it had stung badly and Merlin remembered crying so hard he almost passed out.

Arthur's fingers were thicker than young Will's, and even with the oil Merlin was sure it was going to hurt. Arthur seemed to notice the raven's worry and stroked across his cheek comfortingly, "we don't have to do this if you don't want to." He whispered lovingly. Merlin shook his head, he was pretty sure he would die if he didn't get Arthur. "No." His voice was pleading, "I will kill you if you stop,"

Just days before, Arthur would have said something along the lines of Merlin not being strong enough to even land a single hit on him, but now Arthur didn't doubt the fact that Merlin was strong enough to kill him. Strangely that didn't scare him.

"Threatening the life of a king is treason, Merlin." He muttered but there was no bite behind the words, instead they were filled with affection.

Finally Arthur's fingers reached Merlin behind, parting the cheeks and rubbing soft circles around the entrance. The cried out at the unfamiliar feeling, Will hadn't done any of this. "W-what are you?-" He managed to say through the moans. "Foreplay," Arthur responded. Merlin knew a lot of words and their meanings, but that words was completely lost to him. "Do you not like it?"

Whatever Arthur was doing, it wasn't bad. In fact it felt amazing, it had just caught Merlin by surprise that's all.

"No," Merlin started with a shake of his head, "Keep going."

Arthur's fingers continued their gentle circles around Merlin's rim, the rough fingertips carrying love and care. "The circles help you relax and prepare for penetration," Arthur explained, his free hand rubbing circles on Merlin's stomach. "You tell me when you're ready, we go at your pace." He added looking lovingly into his partner's eyes.

This was a whole different Arthur, someone so intimate and caring compared to how he was usually arrogant and had his emotions shut off. Merlin knew he was seeing the real Arthur. The Arthur he loved.

"I'm ready Arthur, just p-please... ! I feel so empty!" The words came out a desperate sob that made Arthur's heart clench, even though there was no real pain behind Merlin's tears. "Shh, it's alright." Arthur soothed as he put  on pressure and a single finger breached his servant's entrance.

The sound that Merlin let out embedded itself into Arthur's brain, a cracked, needy moan that seemed to echo across the walls of the King's chambers. Arthur's finger lay dormant inside the man, letting him catch his breath and adjust.

But Merlin didn't want that, "Move, Arthur!" he pleaded, squirming his hips around chasing the pleasure he'd get from Arthur's finger. Arthur shook his head fondly, he'd never seen Merlin so desperate. And he loved it.

Arthur crooked his finger, watching as Merlin's eyes widened and watered, such a beautiful sight. Even more beautiful with the fact that it was Arthur himself that was causing it.

"You tell me when you want more, but don't push yourself too soon." Arthur said sternly, keeping his finger's movements gentle. "J-Just add another!" Merlin begged, he needed more. Arthur's finger was satisfying, but it wasn't enough. He needed all of him.

Arthur hesitated for a moment, before a second finger slipped inside. He didn't take his eyes off Merlin for even a second, watching his face contort in pleasure. He scissored his fingers around inside of Merlin, preparing him for what was to come.

After a few more minutes, Merlin spoke up through his moans again. "I-I'm ready, just please Arthur."

The blonde was overjoyed to hear the statement, he hurriedly pulled his fingers out and grabbed the forgotten vial of oil.

He was quick to slick himself up, desperate to just get inside of Merlin already. He grabbed at the servant's upper things angling him in a more convenient position. "You ready?" He muttered as he took himself in hand.

"Yes, yes! Just put it in already!" Merlin snapped as he grew frustrated, after Arthur's fingers left him he'd felt empty. And he was just so desperate to be filled.

Arthur have Merlin was he wanted, the tip popping in  and leaving Merlin gasping for air. Tears welled up in the Raven's eyes and Arthur instantly went to pull out, but just like earlier Merlin trapped him with his legs.

"Don't pull out!" Merlin begged, "feels so good,"

Arthur's gaze softened, he brought his hands up to wipe at those salty tears that were falling down Merlin's cheeks. Arthur's hips stuttered forwards, burying himself to the hilt inside Merlin's warmth.

Arthur felt like he could stay there forever, covered with the warmth and love of the man he loved.

"Move!"

Arthur let out a heavy sigh at Merlin's bossiness. "I do love you, Merlin. But that's no way to speak to you're king is it?" Arthur's fingertips gripped Merlin's cheeks.

"No-"

Arthur cut of Merlin, "No, what?" He demanded all gentleness forgotten, but his love not.

"No, sire..."

"That's better, such a good boy." Arthur praised and began his thrusts. Fast and rough.

Merlin's hands wrapped around Arthur's neck pulling him down into a messy kiss, only pulling away to let out sharp gasps and moans.

Arthur's thrusts were purposeful, telling Merlin he loved him like his lips weren't doing a good enough job. He couldn't believe he had waited so many years to get Merlin I  bed with him, this felt like heaven himself and Arthur could already feel himself getting addicted.

"Arthur-" Merlin gasped once their lips separated, "Arthur you feel so good." Merlin blabbered more of his usual nonsense after that, but Arthur blocked it out too focused on that soft slap of his skin against Merlin's and that tight knot in his stomach ready to undo itself.

"I'm close. Are you, Merlin?"

Merlin nodded desperately, pulling Arthur down for another kiss which he gladly returned.

Merlin's scream was muffled in Arthur's mouth and he reached orgasm, white splattering across their chests.

The manservant's body went completely limp from exhaustion, arms and legs releasing Arthur from their grasp as the overstimulation began to kick in.

"Arthur, I can't-" Merlin choked out, but Arthur shushed him. "It's okay, you can do it." He soothed, his hips shaking as he felt his own orgasm fastly approaching.

Arthur's eyes rolled back into his head so hard that his head ached as he came inside of his servant. As his movements stopped, Merlin let out a sigh of relief but also mourning as Arthurs touch disappeared from his body.

He heard hushed voices and the creak of a door but was too exhausted to turn his head and check, so he lay patiently and waited for his love to return.

It only took a few moments for Arthur to return to his side, "I've sent for a servant to bring us up a bath." Arthur said as he helped Merlin sit up in the bed. "We can wash up together?" Arthur gripped Merlin's hand, searching his eyes for consent.

Merlin smiled and with a small nod, he responded "I'd like that."

When the bathtub finally arrived, Arthur covered him and Merlin in blankets to shield their modesty while the servant filled the tub with water.

As soon the servant left, Arthur removed the blankets from their bodies and carried Merlin over to the bath. He lowered Merlin down into the steaming water before following him with a content sigh.

He pulled Merlin against his chest, allowing the raven to hear the thump of his heartbeat. "I'm alive, Merlin."

"I know that Arthur." Merlin's breath was warm against the skin of Arthur's chest. "And its all thanks to me," he added with a hint of sarcasm.

Arthur grinned, "Thank you, my love."

Chapter Text

Merlin spent a lot of time changing Arthur in and out of his clothes. He knew the location of almost every scar on his body. He didn't know all the stories behind them—he knew a few, but most left Merlin guessing.

He'd asked before, but Arthur had told Merlin that it wasn't any of his business—typical prattish behaviour.

Merlin enjoyed the guessing game he played, he made up scenarios in his head about Arthur getting injured in silly little ways. Like clumsily dropping his sword on his foot, causing that jagged scar from his big toe to his ankle. Or tripping over a rock and earning that small mark above his eyebrow.

Merlin's quiet laughter while fastening Arthur's belt often earned him confused, mildly suspicious glances from the king.

Sometimes, Merlin let his fingers trail lightly over the rough, ridged skin, feeling the story in each healed wound.

"Careful, Merlin. I do have a wife," Arthur quipped, the corners of his mouth twitching. There was no real bite to the words, but Merlin still felt the heat rise to his cheeks.

"Sorry, sire..." he mumbled, focusing again on pulling the socks snug over Arthur's feet.

Arthur hummed. "Why are you so fascinated by my scars? You're always staring," he said, settling onto the bed and tugging his socks straight.

"They tell a story, prove you a worthy warrior." Merlin responded, and Arthur found the words weirdly poetic.

"What about you?" Arthur asked. "Got any scars worth telling?"

Merlin hesitated, thinking of the many scars he'd earned serving Arthur—and whether it was wise to reveal any of them. "I'll take it from your expression that you do," Arthur's strong, firm voice cut off Merlin's train of thought.

The raven nodded, "I do," He confirmed.

"Can I see? You're always staring at mine, it's only fair." Merlin couldn't tell if Arthur was being serious or not, it was hard to tell with him sometimes. He stared at the king for a moment and when Arthur didn't laugh at Merlin's confused face, he knew he was serious.

Merlin rolled up his sleeve, revealing a long scar running from wrist to elbow. Arthur's eyes lingered on it, his expression tightening with concern. "That looks serious..." he muttered, "How'd you get it?"

"You were unconscious on the battlefield and I got slashed, trying to get you to safety,"" Merlin explained, enjoying the guilt flickering on the blonde's face. "You got it because of me?"

Merlin didn't answer Arthur's question, instead he asked his own "Because I told you how I got mine, will you tell me about yours?"

"Which one?" Arthur asked and Merlin pointed to Arthur's foot, still sock-covered. Arthur let out a small laugh as he remembered the certain scar Merlin had motioned to.

"I got it when I was a child, I was training barefoot and dropped it on my foot..." Arthur let out a small embarrassed chuckle. "And I'm the clumsy idiot?" Merlin huffed.

Arthur rolled his eyes, "I was a child, Merlin—the sword was too heavy. Got any more scars to share?"" Arthur patted the spot beside him motioning for Merlin to sit, Arthur accepted the gesture sitting down onto the comfortable mattress.

Merlin hesitated, fingers curling into the fabric over his chest as if shielding the truth from surfacing. With a sigh, he began to lift his shirt over his head. "Woah Merlin, I told you I have a wife. Guinevere wouldn't be too happy about this." Arthur joked light-heartedly, unknowingly soothing Merlin's nerves.

Merlin couldn't bring himself to look at the king's face but he could hear the gasp that left Arthur's lips as the burn scar that made it seem as though Merlin had been hit by a fireball was revealed.

"Merlin," All the joke had left Merlin's voice, making it deep and serious, "what the hell happened?"

Merlin hadn't thought about how he was to explain the scar to Arthur, he couldn't exactly say he visited a sorceress in hopes of trading his life for Arthur's only for it to backfire and him having to kill the sorceress. "I uhm, got... burnt...?" Merlin's tone couldn't even convince a simpleton never mind the king.

Arthur raised a questioning eyebrow, "really?"

Merlin smiled awkwardly and nodded, "yes," he confirmed. "and how exactly?" Arthur questioned, almost like he knew Merlin was hiding something. Merlin let out a sharp breath, another thing he hadn't thought of how to explain, he was already regretting showing Arthur this scar. "A childhood incident," he decided on.

He felt a strong hand grip at his shoulder and turned to see Arthur's gaze on him, looking almost concerned. "Merlin, please don't hide things from me," he pleaded those blue eyes reaching through Merlin's chest and grabbing at his heart. "I can't tell you..." Merlin muttered, his gaze saddened.

"Why not?" Arthur's hand moved to grip lower down Merlin's arm. "You'd have me executed."

Arthur paused for a moment, as if he was trying to figure out what Merlin could be hiding from him. "What if I promised not to?"

Merlin shook his head, "don't make promises you can't keep."

The two sat in silence for a few moments, both men thinking hard. Merlin whether it was a good idea just to reveal it all to Arthur right now, and Arthur trying so hard to think of whatever Merlin could be hiding that his head started to ache.

"We're friends are we not?"

Arthur's words dug deep into Merlin, leaving scars that couldn't be seen. "We are," he nodded. "Then talk to me." The plea hit Merlin like a blade slipping past armour—gentle but deadly. He couldn't resist Arthur, not when his voice softened like that.

"Do you remember when you got bitten by that beast all those years ago and was on your deathbed?" Merlin waited for Arthur's nod before continuing, "Gaius couldn't find a cure, there was only one way. I travelled to the isle of the blessed to give my life for yours, through sorcery."

Arthur seemed in shock, both from the fact that Merlin had been willing to give up his life and that Merlin had sought out a sorcerer. "If you went to the isle of the blessed to give you're life for mine, then why are you still here? Not that I'm not thankful,"

"The sorceress there tricked me, she tried to take my mother's life instead."

Arthur shook his head, "but that still doesn't add up, I've seen you're mother since then and she's alive and well." He rubbed his chin softly, "that's not the full story, Gaius ended up going and trading his life for my mothers, I followed him and fought the sorceress. She hit me with a fireball but I managed to kill her, she was the life taken in return for yours."

Arthur looked as though he didn't believe him, and Merlin couldn't blame him the story was ridiculous after all. "You're telling me that you managed to defeat a sorceress?" Arthur almost laughed.

Merlin nodded, "Arthur, I-" He tried to stop himself, he'd already admitted to seeking out a sorceress, why not reveal it all? "I have magic."

Arthur felt himself go lightheaded, Merlin? The man he trusted the most, a sorcerer?

"Why?" Arthur didn't bother to hide the hurt and slight anger from his voice, "Why'd you practice magic?"

"I didn't, I was born with it." Merlin replied and flinched when Arthur raised his voice, "THAT'S BULLSHIT!"

The warlock had never heard him sound so angry, so betrayed.

"It's not," Merlin protested, "I was born this way, Arthur. With power I didn't ask for it — but I've always used it to protect you."

Arthur's anger faded slightly, "protecting me?" he thought of all the strange things that had happened, enemies dropping their swords, sudden gusts of wind, could that have all been Merlin? "Yes, sire. I use my magic for you and only you."

"Have you ever killed anyone?" The question hit Merlin hard, because he knew he had.

"I have," Merlin whispered, guilt threading through his voice. "Only those who meant to harm you." Arthur looked at him for a long moment before nodding. "Then I suppose I owe you everything."

Merlin had imagined this moment — being seen, being thanked — but it didn't feel like triumph. It felt like standing naked in a storm. "I do have one request," Merlin's voice trembled as he spoke, "not the pyre." tears came to his eyes, he was afraid. Afraid of the flames that had burned so many others like him.

"Do you really think I'd burn the man who's saved my life more times than I can count?" Arthur's voice was softer now, carrying a concern that Merlin hadn't been expecting. "But magic is outlawed." Merlin wiped the tears from his eyes and met Arthur's own.

"It was,"

Merlin raised an eyebrow, "was?" he repeated. Arthur nodded, "You've shown me that magic isn't always dangerous... that you're not dangerous,"

Merlin felt so overjoyed that he couldn't help but burst into tears, and collapse into Arthur's arms—who caught him with a grunt. "Thank you... Arthur,"

Merlin felt a hand brush through his messy hair, cradling his head against a strong chest. "It's going to be alright," Arthur comforted his servant, making a promise in that very moment to fight against whoever came to harm his best friend.

Chapter Text

Uther had always been a selfish king — that, Merlin knew beyond doubt. Greedy for power, for gold, for control. He hadn't spared even Gaius, his oldest friend.

Uther had slashed Gaius' pay by nearly half. Gaius had only nodded, quiet as always — but Merlin had caught the flicker of sorrow in his eyes.

There was barely enough food for two these days, but Gaius always pushed what little they had toward Merlin, insisting he needed it more — still growing, after all. Merlin refused each time. Gaius was getting older — he needed food just to keep going, to stay upright through the long days.

"You eat it. I'll nick something from the kitchens on my way to Arthur," Merlin said, the lie gliding easily off his tongue. Gaius, ever too willing to sacrifice, simply nodded. A mere servant couldn't get food from the kitchens. But Gaius was too selfless to leave Merlin hungry.

"I'll see you later, Gaius," Merlin called over his shoulder, slipping out into the noisy arteries of the castle.

He stopped by the kitchens, but only for Arthur's tray — not for himself, never for himself.

His stomach snarled the moment he lifted the tray — the rich scent clawed at his senses, maddening. Just one bite, he thought. But Arthur had the same breakfast every morning and would notice. And Merlin wasn't in the mood to argue — not today. Hunger pressed at the edges of his vision, sharp and dizzying; he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.

Merlin shoved open the door to Arthur's chambers and plastered on a grin. "Rise and shine!" he called, voice brighter than he felt as he walked over to the curtains and drew them open, still balancing the prince's plate in one hand.

Arthur groaned, half-buried in his sheets. "Breakfast?" he mumbled, barely coherent.

"Yeah." Merlin couldn't keep the resentment out of his voice as he placed the plate on the table.

Arthur stumbled out of bed, hair a tousled mess, and wandered toward the table with the grace of a half-dead ox.. He sat down in his chair and began eating painfully slow, as if mocking Merlin. Merlin knew it wasn't intentional, but he couldn't help but feel a pang of anger.

"Can you help me train today?"

It wasn't a request — it never was. Just another command, softened to sound like kindness. Arthur just said it like that so he could claim that he treated those beneath him with fairness. Arthur was many things — noble, brave, occasionally kind — but fair? Not even close. Intentional or not, the prince was a prat.

Just like he was making sure he was extra enjoying his breakfast today, unknowing of how hungry his servant was.

"Yes, sire," Merlin muttered, biting down the urge to say more.

Arthur dropped the remains of the hunk of bread onto his plate and Merlin eyed it desperately but Arthur was already demanding his service.

"Dress me,"

Merlin crossed to the wardrobe and pulled out the usual — white shirt, leather trousers, belt, socks — the uniform of a prince who didn't know how good he had it.

He returned to where Arthur stood waiting like a statue and began the familiar routine of dressing him, each motion practiced, automatic.

"You're unusually quiet today Merlin," Arthur commented after a few moments of silence, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Just thinking, sire." Merlin dismissed as he finished buckling Arthur's belt, Arthur hummed in response not questioning the subject further.

"Today you have to train the new knights and then you have a meeting with your father," Merlin instructed, hoping that Arthur would go easy on him throughout the training of the knights—he liked to let the knights use Merlin as a training dummy.

"We'll let's go then, the new recruits will be waiting for us." Arthur was out the door before Merlin could even process the words—was the prince ridiculously fast or was Merlin's mind just slow from the hunger?

"Wait up!" Merlin called after his master as he sprinted out the room and after him.

...

Unfortunately for him, Arthur did not show any mercy during training. The prince allowed the trainee knights to push the raven around in all different directions with the hits of their blunt swords.

His pulse thundered in his skull, each beat pounding like a war drum behind his eyes. His legs felt numb, ready to give out—a nap on the floor sure did sound nice right now.

Why was he so tired? It was food he was deprived of not sleep, so why did he just want lie down in his head and sleep for a whole year?

The grass was cool and yielding beneath him — a peasant's bed, but heaven all the same. He lowered himself onto it,  letting out a soft sigh of relief as the strain on his body was released.

He closed his eyes, blocking out the searing light, and felt himself drifting — slow and heavy — into the dark.

"Merlin."

Arthur's stern voice interrupted that voice he so desperately wanted, and Merlin opened his eyes to see the face of the prince—his golden hair almost shining in the light.

"What did I tell you about sleeping on the job, hm?" Arthur's voice was mocking, almost cruel. Cruel for interrupting his rest, Merlin just wanted to rest.

"And now you're ignoring your prince? I'll have you in the stocks," Arthur reached out to pull Merlin up by his arm, but the servant's dead weight sagged against the floor so desperately that not even Arthur could pull him up.

Arthur let out a sigh of annoyance and crouched down on the floor beside his servant, "what's up with you?" He asked, voice softer now.

"Tired," Were the first words Merlin had muttered since he had lowered to the ground.

A low growl echoed Merlin's sentence, coming from Merlin's stomach and proving that he wasn't just tired.

A low curse escaped Arthurs lips, "You're hungry?" He questioned, hadn't Arthur made it clear to him that he was free to have a lunch break?—sure he had never verbally said it but the prince had thought Merlin had made that connection.

Arthur grabbed Merlin again, by both arms this time and pulled him to his feet. "C'mon, let's get some food into you." He grunted as he struggled to support Merlin's weight.

He took a step forward but stumbled as Merlin refused to cooperate. "For gods sake, Merlin." Arthur growled out in annoyance as he slung Merlin's body over his shoulder—throwing away both his pride and comfort.

The prince contemplated whether to take him to the physician's chambers or to the kitchens, he decided to take him to Gaius as the physician would probably know how to get food into an unwilling body.

Arthur took the less crowded corridors to avoid anyone seeing his carrying a servant over his shoulder, so by the time the prince reached the physician's chambers he was pretty sure Merlin was asleep.

He balanced Merlin with one hand and used the other to knock on the wooden door, just to announce his presence to not give the old man a heart attack before barging inside.

"Gaius! Come help me with this idiot." Arthur demanded, placing Merlin on the patient's bed before Gaius could even answer.

"What happened, sire?" Gaius asked as he checked Merlin for fever or injuries—finding none.

"Dollophead skipped breakfast, apparently." Arthur tried for levity, but there was a thread of guilt coiled in his voice.

Gaius ignored the unusual nickname—insult?—and instead raised a concerned eyebrow. "Did he not get something from the kitchens?"

Arthur shook his head in reply, "nothing other than my breakfast, why didn't he eat with you?"

A saddened look flashed across Gaius' face, but the elderly man didn't reveal anything about what Arthur's father had done. "He didn't have time," the lie would have been believable if it wasn't for the fact that Gaius was a terrible liar.

"Gaius, answer me honestly." Arthur warned, using that stern voice he used whenever he wanted to abuse his power as prince.

"You're father... cut my pay, we can't afford much food."

Arthur's jaw humg open, horrified, his father had really done that? Gaius was one the King's most trusted friends and he had put him into poverty? Thr thought was sickening, infuriating.

"Ill put a stop to that, just get some food in him." Arthur ordered gesturing to the now stirring Merlin on the bed.

Gaius' cheeks flushed with embarrassment, "I don't have any," he muttered. "You haven't been eating either!?" Arthur yelled, concerned. Merlin was one thing, but starving an elderly man?—that was too far.

"No, we have just enough food for the one of us, but Merlin insisted I take it and that he'd get something from the kitchens." Gaius explained, looking upsetly at his ward.

"Self-sacrificing bastard," Arthur growled, eyeing Merlin with annoyance but also with a hint of admiration and fondness.

"Would you mind fetching food from the kitchens, sire?" Gaius asked and Arthur nodded without hesitation jogging out the door and towards the kitchens.

Gaius turned his attention back towards the boy on the bed, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him slightly. "Merlin, it's time to wake up." He kept his voice gentle, but still stern.

The warlock let out a quiet groan as he cracked his eyes open, "G...Gaius...?" He muttered, sitting up with the help of the hands of the physician.

"Merlin, you idiot boy!" Gaius smacked the back of Merlin's head, "you told me you'd grab something from the kitchens!"

Merlin's lips twitched upwards in a guilty smile, "I'm not allowed food from the kitchens," he let out a soft chuckle, trying to hide the pain he was feeling—he was so hungry it felt like his stomach was eating itself.

"So you lied to me?" Gaius' voice was hurt—this wasn't the first time Merlin had lied to him, but it sure was the most hurtful.

The door burst open, startling both physician and ward.

"I have the food!" Arthur called and rushed over to the bed, surprised to see Merlin awake. "You've waken up from you're nap then?" He placed the plate on Merlin's lap, who immediately started stuffing the food into his mouth.

"I'll talk to my father and clear whatever nonsense is going through his head," Arthur turned his head towards Gaius before turning back towards Merlin "and you, I'll have you in the stocks if you ever skip you're meals again."

"Yes, sire." Merlin bowed his head to hide the growing smile on his lips—he loved when Arthur showed that he cared, made him seem just a tad bit more human.

He'll always be that arrogant prince in Merlin's heart though.

Chapter Text

Arthur had the patience of a gnat—barking orders like a drill sergeant one moment, then sulking with all the wounded grandeur of a dethroned prince if Merlin arrived even seconds past whatever imaginary schedule he'd decreed that morning.

So Merlin found himself rushing through the hallways of the castle, carrying Arthur's breakfast and skilfully avoiding bumping into anyone.

The other servants lacked his practiced agility. One, burdened with a tray of wine goblets, slammed into him full force, sending red liquid cascading down his front like spilled blood.

Merlin swore under his breath, glaring at the spreading stain on his tunic. There was no way he could serve Arthur like this—not unless he wanted a lecture on how "royal servants ought to look presentable" delivered in Arthur's most pompous tone.

"I'm so sorry!" The servant who bumped into him cried, a young girl who appeared to be new to the job. Merlin smiled softly, "don't worry about it."

She reached out and grabbed the edge of his tunic, inspecting the mess. "Come with me, I'll get you a change of clothes!" she offered, cheeks flushed scarlet with embarrassment. Merlin gave a small nod of thanks, resigned. If he went all the way back to his chambers, he'd be late for certain—and Arthur's wrath would end with him knee-deep in stable muck.

He followed her down the corridor, breakfast tray still in hand like some pitiful footman clinging to dignity.

"We don't have many garments that would suit a man," she said nervously, making Merlin raise an eyebrow. Her delicate fingers grasped the doorknob of a wooden cabinet and pulled the door open. Merlin looked at her and waited for her to start laughing, to pull open a second cupboard with something—anything—less humiliating than a dress.

But she didn't laugh. Her expression was painfully sincere. "It's all we have right now, sorry..." she muttered. Merlin weighed his options, he could show up to the king like this and get scolded—which would end with him mucking out the stables, he could go back to his room and change clothes and get scolded for being late—which would also end with him mucking out the stables, or... He could show up to work in a dress and throw away his pride.

He supposed being covered in horse dung was also throwing away his pride.

"I'll take it," he heard himself say, horrified by the words as soon as they left his mouth he had just agreed to dress like a damn woman.

She picked out a dress that looked like it might fit and handed it over. "Here—and I apologise again. But I must return to my mistress." Merlin watched her disappear down the corridor, the dress still clutched in his hands. He ducked into a disused storeroom, set the breakfast tray down with a sigh, and changed. To his dismay, the dress fit perfectly—not too snug, not too loose. If it hadn't been a dress, he might've even said it was... comfortable.

When he stepped back into the corridor, two passing maidservants caught sight of him and stopped dead in their tracks, jaws slack.
Heat rushed to Merlin's cheeks. He stared at the floor, wishing it would kindly open up and swallow him whole.

Merlin made his way past them, clutching at the plate containing the king's breakfast.

Arthur.

How hard would he judge Merlin when he saw him like this?

The servant paused outside his master's door, trying to prepare himself. But before he could even open it himself, it slammed open—Arthur stood in front of him, practically steaming at the ears.

"There you are—" Arthur paused and Merlin gulped under his intense stare.

"What in the name of Camelot are you wearing?" Arthur asked as he took in the dress Merlin was wearing, every fold and crease... Every gorgeous piece of skin on display.

"I.. ah... spilled wine of my tunic, this was the only change of clothes available." Merlin explained, trying to stop his cheeks from flushing too red.

"Whatever, just get inside." Arthur muttered stepping aside so Merlin could step and place the king's dinner on the table.

Arthur watched Merlin's every move, unable to keep his eyes off the raven. Merlin looked good in a dress, even if he wasn't a woman—it just captured his figure just right.

Arthur sat down in his chair and started to eat his—very late—breakfast.

His sausages had already gone cold, this breakfast wasn't fit for a king at all. But maybe something else was.

"Merlin, come here." Arthur's voice was dark, lustful. Merlin noticed the tone and paused, before slowly approaching the king.

"You really think this breakfast is suitable for a king?" Arthur scolded, looking directly at Merlin with that predatory gaze of his. "Well I had to go through a lot of trouble to get it here so you better eat it."

Arthur shook his head, "No. I want something else, I need something else."

Merlin sighed heavily, "and what's that?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"You."

In the space of a heartbeat, Arthur's hands clamped on his waist and yanked him down into his lap, the force of it stealing Merlin's breath. "Wha—"

Arthur caught Merlin's lower lip between his teeth, silencing him. "You'll be my breakfast, understand?"

Merlin gave a wordless nod, heat pooling in his belly as the fabric of the dress slid over his bare thighs, every brush against Arthur's clothed legs sparking like flint on steel.

"Good boy," the praise slipped out of the king's mouth, something that was rare for him but didn't fail to make the raven harden.

"We shouldn't be doing this," Merlin protested, but the neediness was clear in his voice. "I know, but that's not going to stop us." Arthur growled, pressing a kiss to Merlin's soft lips.

Merlin's world stopped, his first kiss—and it was with Arthur of all people. It appeared that destiny brought them together in more ways than one.

Merlin's hands gripped Arthur' broad shoulders, fingernails digging into the fabric of his dress shirt—it appears the king had dressed himself today. And for once, Merlin just wanted those damn clothes off his body.

Arthur's fingers hooked into the dress and ripped—silk surrendering with a hiss—until the scraps slid from Merlin's body and fell forgotten to the floor.

"Fuck," Arthur breathed, voice rough as gravel, "you're perfect." The words ghosted over Merlin's skin like another kind of touch.

Merlin's hands came to Arthur's own clothes, tugging at them—but unlike his own they didn't rip, made of much richer and stronger fabric.

"Off," Merlin's voice pleaded, "take them off."

Arthur's lips tilted upwards into a smirk as he heard Merlin's pleading, he sat up slowly, making a show of unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off his shoulders.

"You're a tease," Merlin huffed, his breath evaporating on his lips—or was that him drooling over the sight of Arthur?

"Maybe you're just impatient," Arthur retorted, starting to unbuckle his belt.

Merlin watched Arthur's every move, hunger in his gaze. He never thought he'd see the prince undressing and get aroused.

"You ever done something like this before?" Arthur asked, with a surprising gentleness. Merlin shook his head, "no," he answered, "you?"

"You're my first man."

Merlin couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt at the knowledge that someone else, most likely a noblewoman, had been with Arthur. A noblewoman that was probably better looking and more tameable than him.

"Don't worry though," Arthur started, seeming able to sense Merlin's jealousy "you're the only one I have my eyes set on."

The raven's cheeks heated up, why did compliments sound so good when they came out of Arthur's mouth?

He must have spaced out, because he felt a slimy finger start trailing up his thigh towards his–

"Wait!"

Arthur paused his movements immediately, looking up at Merlin with concern.

"You won't go too hard will you?"

Arthur let out a soft chuckle of amusement and shook his head, "you really take me for someone who'd play rough with a virgin?" He said with fake offence, placing one hand over his chest.

"You certainly play rough with the new knights," Merlin watched Arthur's smirk falter, "that's different."

"Just get on with it," Merlin urged, bucking his hips to encourage Arthur's still paused finger. "Needy," Arthur huffed, but continued his slow, torturous movements higher and higher.

Merlin gasped as the finger caught on his rim, circling it before dipping inside ever so slightly. "A-Ah–" He choked out, his breath feeling like it was being pushed out and stuck inside at the same time.

"Shhh, just relax." Arthur soothed, pressing his finger in deeper. Like servant following his master's command, Merlin relaxed his inner muscles–allowing Arthur to slip another inside.

The fingers twisted and turned inside him, as if trying to manually undo him so they could play the hero and put him back together.

The fingers withdrew from his body and wiped themselves on his thigh. "You ready for the real thing?" Arthur muttered, taking himself in hand.

Merlin nodded desperately, trapping Arthur between his thighs, "hurry!" He whined, feeling as though Arthur's movements were in slow motion.

He felt something much larger and thicker press against his entrance and gasp, although he was begging for it moments ago it still surprised him.

It slipped inside him slowly, the stretch burningly painful. Yet it felt so right.

He heard Arthur let out a hiss, the sound seeping from between his teeth. "You're squeezing me tight," the king muttered, his brows furrowed in concentration.

Arthur eased back, leaving only the blunt heat of his tip inside, a cruel tease that left Merlin strung taut as a bowstring.

"P-Put it back in— AH!?"

Arthur's hips met Merlin's with a slap that echoed off the walls.

"You're bossier here," Arthur's voice mocked, fingertips digging into Merlin's waist, leaving bruises. "And you're just—ngh— as infuriating." Merlin retorted bucking his hips against Arthur's.

Arthur started his pace, finding motivation in the way Merlin's lips parted to let out little gasps and moans. Ones that were just loud enough to only be heard by Arthur's ears, no one passing by could be blessed by the sounds.

"Just like that," Merlin choked out, "right there."

Arthur didn't hesitate, quickening his pace but not changing the angle. Watching joyfully as he watched Merlin's face contort in pleasure. Tongue hanging out and drool dripping from his lips and down his chin.

Arthur felt cramping in his stomach, he was close. And so was Merlin.

It was only a few thrusts later that the blonde reached his peak, releasing inside of his manservant with a flash of white. Then it only took one more stuttery thrust to send Merlin over the edge as well, white painting Arthur's chest.

Arthur withdrew himself from Merlin's body, sighing in relief.

"I should make that your uniform," Arthur spoke after a few minutes of catching his breath.

"Huh?" Merlin muttered dumbly.

"The dress," Arthur answered. "It's your new uniform."