Work Text:
Cover Art by Electrikitty
‘… Is this the right address?’
Rouge stood on the front steps of the farmhouse and held her hand out to him with a smile. Her lilac-hued sundress billowed in the wind. ‘Of course, darling.’
Shadow slung his briefcase over his shoulder, glancing behind him. In fairness, his suspicion was warranted. The skies of Provence were tinged with pink, the air smelled sweet, and the farmhouse’s windows glowed with warmth. It was the last place in the world you would choose for a stakeout.
His confusion was evident, but he joined her, permitting her to put her arm through his as they walked up the steps and through the front doors. The farm buildings dated back to the 17th century, and they had been renovated into a hotel. The receptionist looked up from her desk, greeting them with a smile. ‘Mademoiselle Rouge. Bon retour.’
Rouge gave her a sugary smile and led Shadow towards a stone staircase to the left of the desk. ‘Merci. Veuillez veiller à ne pas nous déranger.’
Shadow followed Rouge up the stairs, and their shoes clicked on the sandstone. ‘Don’t we need to check in?’
She ignored him and withdrew a golden key from the bodice of her dress. The window opposite the door of their hotel room was ajar, and a soft breeze ruffled their fur. She slipped inside, and he followed her.
The room was warm and cosy, with a sloped ceiling and latticed windows. The decor was hued in shades of cream, gold and lavender. Shadow walked past her and into the bedroom, dropping his briefcase on the bed. He gave the soft pillows and bedcovers a longing glance. Then he shook himself, and his usual stern expression slipped over his face like a mask. He walked over to the window and scanned the surroundings below, narrowing his eyes.
Rouge bit back a smile. She took a “do not disturb” sign from a nearby side table, hung it on the door of their room, and closed it with a quiet click. Then she strolled into the bedroom and joined him at the window.
‘Enjoying the view?’
Shadow frowned. ‘…Are you certain that this is the right address?’
‘Yes, why?’
‘There’s no visibility.’ He gestured towards the scenery framed by the windows – the rolling hills and farmland of Provence. ‘You can’t even see the target from here.’
‘What target?’
Shadow turned to her. He looked bewildered. ‘The target location for the stakeout.’
Rouge gently took his hand, and she felt the muscles in his palm twitch. ‘There is no stakeout, darling.’
‘Come again?’ Rouge merely smiled in reponse, and Shadow’s arms fell to his sides. ‘Does GUN know that?’
‘Yes.’
‘Does Commander Tower know that?’
‘Yes. Everyone knows that there isn’t a stakeout … except for you. I’m GUN’s best spy, darling. I’m capable of altering a mission brief.’
Shadow looked out the window again. He seemed to be gathering his wits. Below the farmhouse, an endless sea of lavender flowers waved in the wind. His normally sharp gaze softened, and he hesitated. ‘Isn’t there something that we’re meant to be doing, though?’
‘Yes.’ Rouge placed her hands on his hips and stood in front of him. The toes of her sandals touched against the metal trims on his shoes. ‘You’re meant to be taking some time off, and I’m meant to be looking after you. You’ve been working too hard.’
She could feel his resistance begin to crumble beneath her hands. She could also feel the tension in his body – the stiffness of strained muscles and the texture of half-healed scars. ‘Is that on GUN’s orders?’
‘It’s on my orders.’ Her hands slipped from his hips to his lower back. ‘I’m your team leader, remember?’
‘But …’
Rouge wrapped her arms around him, and the outlines of the diamond-shaped scar on his back pressed against her forearms. ‘The world won’t stop spinning on its axis if you stop to rest for a little while.’ She crossed her fingers and held her breath, desperately hoping that her words would be enough to convince him to go along with her proposal.
Shadow sighed. Then he loosely clasped his hands around Rouge’s waist and rested his head on her shoulder. ‘… Sure,’ he murmured. ‘Just for one night.’
Rouge hugged him tighter. Then she let him go and gave him a sunny smile. ‘Let’s run you a bath, then.’
‘A bath?’ Shadow sank into the chair beside the window and crossed his arms. ‘I showered this morning –’
‘Baths aren’t just for washing yourself, darling.’
‘But –’
Rouge gave him a wink and flitted into the bathroom, turning the golden taps with a flick of her wrist. The sound of running water filled the room, like soothing white noise. She returned to the bedroom and flipped open the briefcase that Shadow had left on the bed. The sharp click drew his attention, but he couldn’t see what she was doing behind the lid. He raised an eyebrow and asked, ‘What are you doing with my equipment?’
She held up a bottle of lavender bath salts. ’Nothing, because your equipment is back at GUN’s headquarters. You were carrying my luggage, if you hadn’t realised.’
‘… No wonder it felt lighter than usual,’ Shadow murmured.
Rouge withdrew several more bottles and stepped back into the bathroom. Steam was beginning to waft from the water, and she tipped in lavender bubble bath and bath salts. It had been a chore to find everything she wanted in travel sizes, but where there was a will, there was a way. She placed bottles of shampoo and conditioner beside the bath, dimmed the lights and sauntered back through to the bedroom.
‘Come on, sweetheart.’
Shadow’s eyes flickered open. He looked reluctant. ‘Already? I only just sat down.’
She held out her hands, giving him a teasing grin. ‘You can sit down again in a minute.’
Shadow let her pull him to his feet, and he followed her across the carpet and tiles. The bubbles looked like shimmering clouds in the near darkness, and he sat on the edge of the tub.
‘Oh, I just remembered.’ Rouge took a lavender candle from the side of the bath and held it beneath one of his shoes. ‘I forgot to bring a lighter. Be a dear, would you?’
Shadow gave her a wry smile. ‘I don’t think that this is what Maria designed my shoes for.’
‘Then why are the thrusters the perfect size for lighting candles?’
Shadow chuckled faintly, and a small burst of fire illuminated the wick. It had taken him a long time to be able to talk about Maria without looking grief-stricken, and even now, she thought she saw a trace of pain on his face. But it was something. It was a start. Rouge sheltered the flame with her hand as it continued to grow and placed the candle on the side of the tub.
She knelt beside him, easing his shoes off one after the other before he could even lean down. His inhibitor rings gleamed on his ankles, and he unfastened his wrist guards, letting them fall to the floor. He was about to take his gloves off, but then he saw something in Rouge’s expression that made him stop. ‘… Don’t give me that look.’
Rouge pressed her lips together, hiding a smirk. ‘What look?’
Shadow shook his head and bit the fingertip of one of his gloves, removing it with a subtle tilt of his head. He rarely wore clothes, so she would often tease him when he took off his gloves. It was the closest he typically got to undressing. She resisted the urge to needle him further and took his gloves from him, placing them to one side. ‘Why don’t you take those rings off for a little while?’
‘They’re not heavy.’
‘Come on.’ Rouge turned the water off and said, ‘Give your wrists a break.’
Shadow didn’t respond. If he didn’t wear his rings, then his stamina would begin to drain, and he always insisted that he had to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. But he held out his hands, allowing her to slide the rings off his wrists and ankles.
She set the rings down, and the metal clicked against the tiled floor. After she gave him a gentle nudge, Shadow dropped his legs over the side of the tub and lowered himself into the water. He let out a deep sigh, and she folded her arms over the edge of the tub, sitting beside him.
‘Well?’
Shadow rested his arms on the side of the tub as well, and his elbow brushed against hers. ‘I thought it would remind me of being in stasis.’
Rouge froze. ‘And … d-does it?’
‘Not really.’ His ruby eyes flickered, and his voice was quiet. ‘This is warmer. And it smells sweet.’ He lowered his voice even further, and she almost didn’t hear him when he said, ‘And you’re here with me.’ His eyes creased with a smile. ‘It’s a far cry from being in that capsule.’
‘I’m glad.’ She rested a hand on his head, gently rubbing the base of his ears. His eyelids flickered shut, and he leaned into her hand. Rays of fading sunlight began to move across the tiles, and several quiet moments passed.
‘Do you think I could convince you to do this more often?’ Rouge asked.
’Baths? Or taking time off?’
‘Either. Both.’
‘I’ll admit that this does make cold showers seem less … appealing.’ His shoulders relaxed, and she could almost see the tension melting into the water. She ran a finger down the slope of his neck, and he gave her a tired smile. ‘For someone who was designed to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, you think I would be better at it.’
‘Everyone needs to rest sometimes. You’re not the exception to the rule.’ Rouge motioned for him to sit up, and he did so with a questioning look. She uncapped the bottle of shampoo, and the fresh scent of lavender mingled with the steam.
‘Didn’t you just say that baths aren’t just for washing yourself?’
‘They aren’t, otherwise I’d be after you with soap and a pumice stone.’ Rouge rolled her eyes and doled out some of the shampoo onto her palm before beginning to massage it into his fur. She could feel threads of scar tissue beneath her fingertips. If his fur weren’t so dark, she would probably be able to see fading bruises. He never attended GUN’s debriefings, but his body itself was a mission report.
She clasped her hands around his chest and kissed him on the shoulder. ‘Can you stand up for me, sweetheart?’ He made a faint noise of protest, but he still obliged, turning to face her as she stood up. She took his arm and began to work the rest of the shampoo into his fur.
‘Is this really necessary?’ Shadow muttered. ‘You’re going to all this effort for my sake, and you’re not even getting anything out of it.’
Rouge looked him up and down. Water dripped from his chest and hips, and his wet fur only made the definition of his muscles more evident. ‘… I’ll console myself somehow.’
His complexion was already warm from the heat of the water, but she could have sworn that she saw him blush. Her hands moved down from his waist to his hipbones, and he swiftly took the shampoo bottle out of her hand. ‘I can do that.’
‘Are you sure –’
‘Quite,’ Shadow muttered, running his hands down his legs before sinking back into the water.
She sat on the edge of the tub, cupped a hand and began to rinse his fur off. It would be faster if he went under the surface, but she already knew that he had been submerged for over 50 years. The last thing she wanted to do was to ask him to do it again.
She uncapped a bottle of conditioner, and Shadow sighed. ‘Again … Is this really necessary?’
‘You’ve been stressed and overworked, and it’s made your fur coarse.’ She began to work the conditioner into his fur before he could argue, saying, ‘Trust me. You’ll thank me later.’
‘Hmph.’
‘You could just teleport out of my grasp, you know.’
‘I don’t have an Emerald right now.’ Shadow stared at the water’s surface, and his claws gleamed dully beneath the bubbles. ‘GUN hasn’t made any progress on tracking one down since they last dispersed across the world, and I’ve been too busy completing missions to go searching for one.’
‘… I could have sworn you didn’t need an Emerald to teleport short distances,’ Rouge said, giving him an affectionate poke.
Shadow half-smiled. ‘I think that dropping out of thin air elsewhere on the hotel grounds would alarm the other guests.’ She began to massage his neck and shoulders with her fingertips, and she could feel him soften at her touch. ‘Is this also … necessary?’
‘No. But I have to fill in time while waiting for the conditioner to work.’
‘You could have a shower. Or you could join me, if you want.’
Rouge nearly dug her claws into his shoulders by accident. ‘I beg your pardon?’
Shadow didn’t respond right away, and it immediately became clear that he didn’t realise how suggestive he had sounded. ‘It just feels like you’re … always taking care of me and supporting me.’ He reached over his shoulder, resting his hand on hers. ‘But I feel like I don’t return your kindnesses often enough.’
Rouge blinked rapidly, telling herself that it was merely the fragrances wafting through the air that were making her eyes water. ‘It’s not a competition, darling. I know that you care.’
Shadow looked over his shoulder at her, and he seemed uncertain. ‘But I know that I don’t do a lot to show it.’
‘I think you do more than you realise.’ She took his arm and began to massage it with her fingertips. ‘But you’ve also been through more than you realise … and you just have more needs than I do right now.’ Her voice softened, and she said, ‘I’m sure it will all balance itself out in the end.’
An unspoken reality lay between them – the fact that one day, her health would begin to decline and her strength would begin to fail, and she would need far more from him than either of them could ever anticipate. She couldn’t bring herself to say it aloud, and she didn’t want to. Tonight wasn’t about their pasts or their futures. It was about their present.
Shadow turned to face her and pressed a kiss to her lips. His hand entangled itself in her curls, and soapy water dripped onto her shoulder blades. ‘I don’t want to wait until you need me. I want to be here for you now, whether you need me or not.’
Rouge hesitated, and she could feel the water beginning to soak into her sundress. Then she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. The conditioner left a sickly, chemical taste on her lips, and the strength of her hug made water drip from his fur and onto her arms. ‘If you insist, you hopeless romantic.’
He let her go, only to freeze at the sight of the damp splotches on her dress. ‘I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.’
‘Relax. It’s just cotton. It’ll dry, and I have other clothes.’
Shadow folded his arms over the edge of the tub and glanced at the shower. ‘Why don’t you freshen up and get changed?’
‘Oh, please.’ She began to rinse the conditioner out of his fur with her hands, saying, ‘You might just be able to shake yourself dry, but I’d have to redo all of my fur and makeup.’
‘You don’t have to. It’s just us, after all.’
Rouge considered it for a moment. Then she shrugged elegantly and glanced at the shower. ‘Well, if you’re that desperate to see me undressed –‘
Shadow choked and coughed so deeply that it rattled the glass door of the shower cubicle. ‘I-Is that really what you took away from everything I just said?’
‘I’m teasing, sweetheart. I thought you would be able to tell by now.’ She kissed him on the forehead and got to her feet. ‘Perhaps another time. I have … other things to attend to.’ She slipped out of the room, giving him a parting wink. ‘Enjoy yourself.’
He gave her a half-smile and closed his eyes.
Rouge closed the door behind her and leaned over the bed, fully opening the briefcase. She withdrew a chemise with lavender silk and cream lace, holding it up to the fading light of the sunset. She didn’t know what had possessed her to buy it. It wasn’t her colour, and she never wore anything “for him”, let alone anyone else. She supposed it was just as well. No matter what she wore, it barely ever got a reaction out of him. The most she had ever gotten was a lingering glance or a quiet nod.
Rouge slipped off her sundress and pulled the chemise over her head. Her wings cast soft, fluttering shadows over the walls. She lifted a cosmetics bag from the briefcase and sat at the dressing table, crossing one leg over the other. Her reflection stared back at her, and she rested her head in one hand.
Shadow had a point, even though neither of them wanted to admit it. She still had a life of her own outside of Team Dark, but over the years, she had spent more and more of her time supporting Shadow instead of furthering her own goals. She was supposed to be a selfish, callous jewel thief, wasn’t she? Maybe her selflessness was still selfish, in a way. Maybe she got off on knowing that she was the only person that Shadow truly trusted. Maybe she liked knowing that she was his weakness.
She framed her face in her hands, pouting at her reflection. Maybe all of it could be true at once.
Rouge shook her head and unzipped the cosmetics bag, beginning to subtly rework her appearance – a layer of shimmer over top of her mauve eyeshadow, another coat of mascara, and fresh, glittering lipstick. She sighed and turned on a wireless set of hair curlers. She didn’t know why she bothered, honestly. Shadow had already been extremely blunt about the fact that he didn’t care what she looked like. The reasons he liked her went far deeper, but even so … She dusted her chest, shoulders and decolletage with illuminating powder, giving herself a critical glance. She would give him the world if he wanted it, but that was the last thing he wanted. He had very few needs and even fewer wants, for that matter.
She began to freshly curl her fur, and the warm waves tumbled around her neck. One of the few things she had left to give him was herself … but what good would that do when she didn’t know whether he even “wanted” her in the first place?
She switched the curlers off and gazed out the window. She had taken longer than she had realised, and dusk had fallen. The first stars were beginning to appear in the sky, and the coral-hued clouds were turning lilac. She stood up and stepped away from the dresser, only to come face-to-face with Shadow. He had silently entered the room while she had been lost in thought. Even though the sun had set, his inhibitor rings still glimmered.
She gave him an affectionate smile, putting her doubts aside for the time being. ‘You clean up nice, don’t you?’
But Shadow wasn’t listening to her. She could see herself reflected in his eyes – cream lace and lavender silk on illuminated skin, glossed lips and curls soft enough to bury your fingers in. She could be imagining it, but she thought she noticed his eyes widen slightly.
‘… Is this for me?’
Rouge froze. ‘W-What on earth would give you that impression?’
He lifted one hand, and his knuckle grazed her leg as he grasped the hem of her chemise. ‘You’ve always said you didn’t like this shade of purple.’
‘Well, it’s not my colour.’ Rouge folded her arms, and Shadow glanced down. ‘… Eyes up here, handsome.’
Shadow eyes snapped back to her face, and he raised one hand to her collarbone. His fingertips came away stained with golden powder. ‘I was under the impression that you wanted me to look.’
Rouge swatted him away and buried her face in one hand, giving him a frustrated glare. ‘It’s not as though it’s easy to get your attention.’
Shadow winced. He glanced down at the makeup products scattered across the dresser. ‘I do … notice, you know.’
‘Noticing is one thing. Feeling is another.’
‘Feel what?’
Rouge gestured impatiently towards herself. ‘Something. Anything.’ Her shoulders slumped as the words left her lips, and her ears drooped.
Shadow took her hand, lowering his voice to a murmur. ’It’s not you. It’s just … When all you feel is anger and sadness, there isn’t really room to feel anything else. It’s only recently that it’s started to get a little better, like I’ve started to …’ He looked up, seeing her face, and his breath hitched. ‘… Like I’ve started to feel again.’ He tilted her hand, seeing the lavender-coloured nail polish on her claws for the first time. His expression flickered. ‘You told me that you don’t dress for anyone but yourself.’
Rouge’s wings fluttered, and her hand twitched. ‘Well, I’d give you the world if you wanted it, but you don’t. I don’t even know if there’s anything you want, and you may not want me, but … I’m one of the few things I have left to give.’
Shadow looked stricken. ‘You think that I don’t want you?’
Rouge tossed her head and laughed to mask her nerves. ‘Most people would have already taken me to bed if I looked like this. You’re not exactly hot-blooded, but you’re still not a machine –‘
’No. I know that you wondered if I was an android at one point, but I’m not a machine.’ Sadness clouded his features. ‘But sometimes it still feels like all my circuits have burnt out.’ He hugged her, tangling his fingers in her warm curls, and she could smell the scent of lavender on his fur. ‘I do want you. Even if I don’t always act like it.’
‘Don’t beat yourself up, sweetheart.’ Her forearms found their places between his shoulder blades, and her fingertips came to rest on his shoulders. ‘It’s all right.’
‘… Mm.’
After a moment, she attempted to step back, but he didn’t let her go. His grip tightened, and his pawpads felt like sandpaper on her skin. Then he placed a soft kiss on her bare shoulder and let her slip out of his grasp.
Rouge took his hand and turned it palm up. ‘What have you been doing to your hands?’
He looked down in bewilderment. ‘Nothing. Why?’
‘They’re in terrible shape. Did GUN deploy you to a desert recently?’
‘They’re always like that.’
Rouge squeezed his hand, and his claws appeared, gleaming like mother-of-pearl. Shadow flinched, seemingly unaware that she was capable of summoning his claws like magic. Rouge exhaled. ‘These are going to cut into your pads. You could get an infection.’
‘It won’t kill me –‘
‘Nothing can kill you. That’s not the point,’ Rouge scolded. She fished a handful of items out of her cosmetics bag and climbed onto the bed, pulling him with her. She crossed her legs, and the golden downlights illuminated his hands as she held them in hers. The quiet snick of a pair of clippers filled the room. Shadow’s ears twitched at the sound, and he gritted his teeth. ‘I can do this myself.’
‘On the contrary, you’d probably end up cutting yourself to the quick.’ Rouge took her foot in her hands, and her shoulders tensed. ‘You have a bad habit of digging your claws into your palms.’ The steady clicking of the clippers filled the gaps between her words. ‘Don’t think I haven’t noticed.’
‘It’s gotten better.’
‘Hmph.’ She dropped the clippers unceremoniously and picked up a file. An unmistakable flash of guilt crossed Shadow’s face, and she frowned. ‘What is it?’
‘You don’t have to do all of this.’
‘I know, and neither do you.’ The rough, sweeping sound of the file blended with the faint clamour drifting from other parts of the hotel. ‘You don’t need to eat, or sleep, or take care of yourself. It’s not like you’ll die of neglect.’ Her ears drooped, and her shoulders slumped. ’You probably think I’m merely intervening on your behalf, but I’m not. Not really. Most people want to take care of the people they care about. Is that so surprising?’
Shadow’s hand twitched. He stared at his claws. They were shorter now and less sharp. She was softening him in more ways than one, and sometimes she wondered if he resented her for it. Then he looked up, and a bittersweet smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. ‘Do you like doing this?’
‘This?’
‘Looking after me. Supporting me.’ ‘His ears drooped, and his voice lowered. ’Don’t you ever get tired of it?’
‘I like spending time with you.’
The words hung in the silence. Shadow looked like he was about to say something, but he pulled out a small bottle of clear polish, and he shrank back.
Rouge rolled her eyes. ‘Oh, please. It’s only nail strengthener. It’s not going to bite you.’
‘I don’t need it –‘
‘You don’t need anything,’ Rouge huffed. She squeezed his hands, and his claws extended like a handful of box cutter knives. He yelped, and his fur bristled, making her laugh. ‘Now hold still.’ The sickly smell of polish mingled with the scent of lavender, and Rouge made a note to open the window when they were done.
‘… I like spending time with you, too.’
Rouge nearly dropped the bottle of polish. ’S-Sure.’ His claws glimmered in the light, and she said, ‘I wondered if your claws would break the clippers. It’s not like they’re made of diamonds, but I thought they’d be harder –‘
‘Rouge.’ He waited for her to look up before he continued. ‘Is that really so hard to believe?’
I like spending time with you, too.
She forced a laugh and dropped the bottle of polish back in the briefcase. ‘Well, you don’t like anything or anyone. It’s hard to tell if there are exceptions to the rule –’
‘I like you.’
She slowly raised one eyebrow, seeing an opportunity to turn the tables. ‘“Like”? Is that all?’
Shadow faltered, and his muzzle reddened. They were sitting on a bed in a cosy hotel room in rural France. She was clad in silk and lace, and the air itself tasted sweet. You didn’t share these kinds of experiences with someone you simply liked, and they both knew it.
‘I-I … love you.’
She smirked. ‘There. Was that so hard?’
‘Yes.’ He hesitated, gazing at his claws. They glittered like the jewels that she loved so much. ‘It’s not easy for me to let my guard down like this. To … soften. To say things like this.’
Rouge shifted her weight, moving to sit beside him and nestle against his shoulder. ‘I know.’ She rubbed her cheek against his and gave him a soft kiss. ‘I’m proud of you. You know that, right?’
He didn’t answer at first. Then he rested his head against hers. ‘I know. But it’s nice to hear it.’
‘You need me to stroke your own ego for you, too?’
He sat upright and opened his mouth to protest, but then he saw the teasing smile on her face. ‘… Hmph.’
‘If you’re so self-sufficient, then put this on yourself.’ She passed him a tube of hand cream, and he heaved a sigh.
‘Rouge –’
‘Your pawpads are so cracked that they’ll start bleeding. I’m the team leader, remember? You have to follow my orders.’
He snapped the lid open, muttering under his breath.
She got off the bed in a whirl of silk and lightly stepped backwards, placing the briefcase on a nearby desk and opening the window latch with a flick of her finger. The faintest hints of voices and music drifted through the window. The sun had truly set, and the last traces of lilac were fading from the dusk. Her ears pricked up as she heard the clink of silverware from elsewhere in the hotel.
She padded back over, picking up a room-service menu from the desk beside the bed and opening it with one hand as she sat beside him again. ‘It’s getting late. What do you want to eat?’
Shadow glanced at the desk and tossed the plastic tube into the open briefcase. ‘I don’t need to eat.’
’No, but regular meals are good for you.’ She held the leatherbound menu out. ‘Come on. They have café liégeois. You’d love it –‘
He pushed the menu back towards her with a fingertip and forced a smile. ‘I’ve already eaten today. Maybe tomorrow.’
‘Is something wrong?’
‘No, it’s just …’ He grimaced. ‘My metabolism converts food into Chaos Energy. It’s … difficult to regulate.’
Rouge sank onto the bed, and her ears drooped slightly. ‘Oh. Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I just did.’
‘No, I mean … before this.’
‘I hadn’t needed to.’ His ear twitched, and he averted his gaze. ‘I only told you now because I thought you would worry more if I didn’t explain myself. I’ve already made you worry enough.’ His ear twitched again, and he forced another smile. ‘Order something for yourself.’
‘Yeah.’ Her wings drooped, curving around her as the French words blurred in front of her eyes. She blinked once, then twice.
‘Rouge?’
‘I wish you had been created to enjoy nice things.’
He hadn’t been designed to live. He had been designed to be a weapon. He had been designed for the sake of others, and the idea that his body was incompatible with living a normal life filled her with an overwhelming feeling of sadness.
‘You taught me that I could be more than what I was created for.’ She looked up, and his gaze was filled with an indescribable softness. ‘I wasn’t created to be loved … but you still loved me anyway.’
Rouge blinked rapidly and snapped the menu open wider, hiding her face behind it. ‘You’re missing out, you know. If you knew what beef bourguignon tasted like, you’d say it was worth the stomachache.’
Shadow scoffed and moved the menu aside slightly. The mattress creaked as he fell onto his side and lay his head on her lap. ‘I wish it were just a stomachache. These episodes make my bones feel like they’re overheating.’
She rested her hands on his quills, absentmindedly caressing his ear with her thumb as she tried to regain her composure. ‘Tough. If you keep complaining, then I’ll tell GUN that I’ve found a fatal flaw in their ultimate weapon.’
‘And what fatal flaw would that be?’
‘… French cuisine.’
Shadow laughed, and she hid her smile behind the menu’s pages. Even though he was receptive to her efforts to care for him, he still hated being coddled. He preferred this – the jokes and bittersweet laughs – to overt sympathy. And if she resented the fact that he had been created to give people a life that he wasn’t designed to have, she couldn’t imagine how he felt about it.
‘Am I making it worse?’ Rouge asked in a small voice. ‘Doing all of this? I just … want good things for you.’
‘I know.’ He reached up with one hand, and his fingertips brushed against her cheek. ‘And you’ve been good to me. It’s just not always straightforward.’ His hand came back down to rest by his side, and he said, ‘But it’s easier when I’m with you.’
She gave up on pretending to read the menu and set it aside. They’d already eaten late in the day, and she’d rather eat when they could both share a meal together. She rested a hand on his shoulder. ‘I would hope so –’ She stopped, and her fingertips pressed into the slope between his neck and arm. She frowned. ‘Good lord, you’re tense.’
‘I am?’ He turned onto his side, wincing as he did so. ‘I didn’t notice.’
‘You’re strung more tightly than a bowstring.’ She leaned forward, delicately tracing the line of his collarbone with her finger. ‘Do you want me to give you a massage?’
‘… What do you mean by “massage”?’
Rouge’s mouth fell open, and she abruptly snapped it shut. ‘I meant exactly what I said. Get your mind out of the gutter.’
‘We’ve been working together for years.’ He chuckled. ‘If I’m in the gutter, it’s because you dragged me there kicking and screaming.’ He sat up, giving the empty half of the bed an uncertain look. ‘And … you asked me if I wanted you earlier, ’
‘You don’t have to prove it, love.’
‘I’d like to.’ He was examining his claws, and he didn’t notice that Rouge’s face turned scarlet at his words. His lashes lowered, and he shook his head as though he were trying to wake himself up. ‘Just maybe not when I’m not already falling asleep.’ He flexed his claws and frowned. ‘Can I put these away now?’
‘It’s a quick-drying solution. You could have put them away ages ago.’
His claws vanished in an instant, and he fell headlong across the bed, pulling one of the pillows free to rest his head on. Several throw pillows tumbled to the ground. She hadn’t even touched him, and she could already see the tension beginning to dissipate.
She shifted over and sat beside him, resting a hand on his back. ‘So … was that a yes?’
‘I’m not stopping you, am I?’ His eyes opened for a moment. ‘Did you need an invitation?’
A smile flickered on her face, and she dipped her hand into her cosmetics bag one last time, pulling out a bottle of lavender oil and shaking a few drops onto her palm. She began to massage his back and shoulders, and he exhaled deeply. ‘… They really went overboard, didn’t they?’ he murmured.
‘What?’
’The hotel. I know that the lavender fields here are supposed to be famous, but it feels like everything in this room has lavender in it.’
‘I-Is that a problem?’
‘No?’ He sounded bewildered. ‘Why?’
‘It’s not the hotel. I brought all of those things with me.’
It was barely perceptible, but she felt his muscles twitch beneath her hands, and he looked up at her. ‘You did?’
‘… Yeah?’
He didn’t say anything. But after a moment, she heard the sound of a faint purr. She could feel his scars beneath her hands, but she could also feel his softness. She could feel the outlines of fissures in half-healed broken bones, but she could also feel his strength. She could feel the immutable energy that constantly coursed through his body, but she could also feel his warmth.
Her hands cradled his shoulders, and she kissed the diamond-shaped scar between his shoulder blades.
‘I’m sorry,’ Shadow whispered.
She didn’t know what he was apologising for, but it didn’t matter. ’You don’t need to be.’
His eyes flickered. She could tell that he was desperately trying to stay awake. ‘You’ve done so many nice things for me today, and I didn’t get to do anything for you.’
She lay down beside him, nestling into one of the featherdown pillows. She pulled one of the throw blankets up over his shoulders. ‘There’s always next time.’
Shadow’s freshly polished claws glimmered, sinking into the pillow beneath his head. ‘… What about tomorrow?’
Rouge’s heart skipped a beat, and she picked her words carefully. ‘I thought this was just supposed to be for one night.’
Shadow hesitated. ‘Isn’t there anything that you want to do?’
Rouge grinned and leaned in, hugging her pillow to her chest. ‘As a matter of fact, there’s a gemstone on display at the museum in Marseille that I think would look far better in my personal collection. And then there’s the outdoor markets at Aix-en-Provence, and then there’s the lavender fields at the Valensole Plateau …’
‘Heh. Why didn’t you just say that?’
‘I didn’t know if I’d be able to convince you to stay for one night, let alone several days.’
‘I would have said yes if I had known that it would have made you happy.’
‘I want you to want good things for yourself,’ Rouge whispered. ’Not just for everyone else.’
‘I’m trying. I am, but … I want good things for you too.’
Rouge shifted closer, and she could smell the scent of lavender on his fur. Lavender was supposed to have anti-inflammatory and analgesic properties. Shadow might not realise it, but his appreciation for the scent likely wasn’t a mere personal preference. Even if you didn’t take his physical injuries and scars into account … she had never met someone who needed comfort and soothing more than he did.
‘You remind me of her sometimes.’ His words were almost indiscernible. They were the kind of mumured admission you made when you were falling asleep, when you had let your guard down enough to say things that were against your better judgment. ‘Not often, but …’
‘Her?’
‘Maria.’ He chuckled weakly. ‘You’re very … different to her. But no matter how much you insist you’re selfish, you’ve always been kind to me.’ His lashes fluttered, and his eyes finally closed. ‘You’re one of the only people who ever was.’
Rouge blinked back tears. She didn’t know what to say. She was never good at knowing what to say at moments like this. So she pulled part of the blanket up over her shoulders and slipped beneath his arms with a soft rustle of silk on fur. The wind outside picked up, and the scent of fresh lavender blew through the window, softening the ambient noise of the hotel and its guests.
‘It’s just as well that we’re staying a little longer,’ Rouge said. ‘We never got to walk in those lavender fields.’
A half smile flickered on Shadow’s face. One of his usual haunts was an Elysian field of white balloon flowers. She’d found him there many a time, leaning against the broken tree stump on the cliffs above.
He didn’t talk about Maria much. It wasn’t out of a sense of malice or resentment. He just didn’t want to talk about other people when he was with Rouge. He wanted their memories to be theirs alone, unclouded by the past.
‘Maybe we can make some new memories together tomorrow.’
She heard his breath hitch, as though he had been sharing her same train of thought. Then he kissed her. It was faint and soft, and she barely noticed it. Then he began to doze off in her arms, with one hand around her waist.
‘Did I ever tell you the reason I like lavender?’
‘No?’
‘… Do you remember the time that I had nightmares every night for weeks? While we were still living together at GUN’s headquarters?’
She cupped his cheek with her hand, and his expression softened. She must still have traces of the lavender oil on her fingertips.’ It would be hard to forget, darling. I was up every night with you.’
‘Mm.’ He took a deep breath and exhaled. ‘I ended up passing out on your bed. I thought it was because of the lavender room spray you’d used. But later on, I realised it was because you were by my side. I was able to fall asleep because you were by my side.’ He half-smiled. ‘And now … even lavender reminds me of you.’
She swallowed hard and smiled back. ‘Hey. Want to see a magic trick?’
He raised one eyebrow slightly. ‘You better make it quick. You’re about to lose your audience.’
‘Don’t worry, I will.’ Rouge reached beneath her pillow, out of his line of sight. ‘Remember how you told me that GUN hasn’t tracked down any of the Chaos Emeralds yet?’
His expression clouded. He didn’t discuss it, but she knew that not having a Chaos Emerald bothered him, and the closer the two of them became, the more it weighed on his mind. If he had an Emerald, then he would be able to use his full range of powers and stop time, and then nothing would be able to harm her. ‘Yes. And?’
‘That’s not entirely true.’ With a sleight of hand, she was holding a purple Chaos Emerald in her fingertips. ‘GUN might not have found any of the Emeralds, but one of their agents did.’
Shadow’s reached out involuntarily, and the Emerald dematerialised as he absorbed its essence, leaving only a faint purple glow. His hand closed on her empty ones, and he kissed her knuckles, giving her a fond look.
‘Thank you, Rouge.’ His eyes flickered shut. ‘For everything.’
She closed her eyes, burying her face in his fur. The truth was that she wasn’t actually that selfless. Lavender might remind him of her … but it also reminded her of him.
‘You’re welcome, love. Sweet dreams.’
The End
