Archive of Our Own

Sonic grit his teeth. The blue hedgehog leaned forwards, digging his heels into the road to catch himself. He managed to stop his backwards momentum. Then he dropped into a full crouch. Curling his knuckles against the tarmac, he drew one leg back, the other coiled up underneath him. All his muscles were tensed to the point of hurting but he only held it for a second, two at most, before he shot forward, head lowered.

“Come on, Metal,” he growled. “You’re making me late!”

At the last word, he collided with his robotic counterpart, throwing Metal back. Sonic may have miscalculated slightly, striking at the base of his quills rather than his forehead. A dull ache erupted at the back of his skull. He refrained from gripping his head but a light groan escaped his lips. Great. He’d probably jarred something. Sonic hated when his brother had to remove his damaged spines but he outright refused to go to a quill specialist to get them looked at. There was nothing Sonic despised more than being poked at by strangers – except maybe water. And the skin underneath his protective spines was extremely sensitive. It was going to be agony getting the damaged quills out. But Sonic also knew it would be worse to leave them in.

He sighed. That was going to be a fun morning.

Despite knowing he’d be harming his quills more by using them to fight, he had to take down Metal. Sonic would just have to be more careful. Not only would the robot chase him down if he tried to leave but Sonic was obligated to stop him. Because Metal was an Eggman robot and he was causing destruction in the city, endangering the lives of the citizens. He could not allow that to happen. Sonic would never forgive himself if he ignored this. It was his duty, his calling. The only thing he really knew and was confident in his abilities with: stopping evil and protecting those who could not protect themselves.

Even then, he wholly believed in his friends abilities too. Besides, without him, the world would still have Shadow, who he was mature enough to acknowledge was stronger than him. It wasn’t like Sonic thought he was the only one who could take down Eggman. Sonic just knew he could, so he would. He’d probably only stop when he was six feet under. That’s just how he was.

With a huff, Sonic caught Metals hands in his own as his double flew at him. He was slightly knocked off balance but managed to regain his footing before he fully fell backwards. The blue hedgehog flattened his ears and pushed back against the robot. He took in Metal’s stance, the broken road, the buildings around them. His eyes briefly flickered over the bystanders hanging back to watch. He’d wished they’d just run like he’d asked them to earlier. But humans and mobians were inherently drawn to danger out of curiosity and the chance to catch a glimpse of the Hero of Mobius in action was always a motivator. Sonic grimaced; who exactly had come up with that title anyway? The people were to his left. If he timed his attack right, he should be able to knock Metal off his feet and throw him to the right. The corner of the office building might be damaged in the process but it was a risk Sonic had to take. Hopefully it wouldn’t be structural.

This fight had been going on long enough. Sonic needed this to be over, now. He was officially two minutes late to meet Shadow… about three minutes ago. He cast a glance at his communicator. Scratch that, it had just ticked over to six minutes. Six minutes late. The blue hedgehog tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about the disappointed look on Shadow’s face when he finally turned up. Tried not to think about how Shadow might snap at him or cancel the night. But Chaos, it was hard. So hard.

Sonic just wanted to please Shadow. He was starting to think he was incapable of that. Just like he used to, back when Shadow couldn’t stand his presence. Their – he still couldn’t quite bring himself to say date – had gone just about as well as an ice cube on the surface of the sun. And he’d all but told Shadow to beat it yesterday. Whether he’d actually said anything or not, Shadow had picked up on the fact that Sonic hadn’t wanted him there. He still felt a little guilty about that, even if Shadow had joked that he understood. Maybe Sonic should have just sucked it up and spent more time with the dark hedgehog. He just… he hadn’t been feeling great.

He still wasn’t. Not really.

Seeing his cue – Metal shifting his weight to try and catch Sonic off guard, how predictable – Sonic struck. He swiped his leg against Metal’s shins, successfully toppling the robot. Sonic kept his grip on his hands, spun about twice to gather some momentum, and swung him – right, not left – towards the building. This time, he was better with his timing and angles. Metal hit the corner, knocking a few bricks loose. He did, however, bang the joint of his arm; it hung limply while he struggled to rise. Disabling one of Metal’s limbs had been his aim. Though, truthfully, the leg would have probably been a little more preferable. Still, Sonic would take it.

He’d only turned for a moment to check on the throng of people gathered on the other side of the road but his guard had been lowered just a touch. Sonic had been careless. Enough for him to be unprepared for the swipe of metallic claws across his face when he turned back. He stumbled with a hiss, dragging the back of his hand over the cuts. They were pretty shallow and Metal had thankfully missed his eyes by quite a lot. His glove came back marred with blood though. Sonic groaned in annoyance; he wouldn’t have time to go home and change them now.

Sonic retaliated by reeling his hand back and punching Metal so hard in the face his sensors were briefly scrambled. He saw the lights in Metal’s eyes flicker and the robot stumbled himself, hauntingly similar to how he just had. At least he was finally getting somewhere. Metal’s blue plating was scratched, scuffed and dented from Sonic’s previous attacks. But the hedgehog hadn’t been making much headway until now.

He was one step closer to seeing Shadow.

Still, he was about eight minutes late now and counting. That horrible fluttering in his chest at the thought of being a whole ten minutes late was overwhelming. He couldn’t take that. So, against his better judgment, Sonic curled up and put his all into one last spin dash. Agony ripped through the back of his head as the motion tugged against his topmost quills. He did, however, also feel them slice through some of Metal’s wrecked plating. And perhaps more.

Metal bounced, rolling a few paces before collapsing in a heap. Sonic uncurled and stood, briefly touching a hand to his quills. All his attacks had paid off at least, allowing him to put Metal out of commission in just one final hit. Good thing too because his head hurt. Sonic tried to ignore the lingering uncomfortable feeling that always accompanied him after defeating Metal. Sure, Metal didn’t really look like him and he was easy to distinguish as a robot from one glance alone. But there was always something unnerving about fighting a robot that still bore a striking resemblance to him, to a mobian. Metal was not just some cannon fodder egg pawn or badnik. He was… well, Metal. A sentient, thinking machine. And what really separated him from any other living being anyway? Blood, skin, organs? Sonic didn’t really think that mattered.

So seeing the literal light go out in Metal’s eyes was always a bit unsettling. The red was so piercing, so harsh under the streetlights, but it felt like something was missing when it was gone. It caught him in place for only a moment; Metal would be back up and running within the week most likely. He sent a quick message to Tails to fly over and at least move the remains so no one in the city could get their hands on him. He’d usually do it himself but he was nearing nine minutes late now. It was silly, he knew, to let Eggman take Metal back. But if he didn’t work on these parts to fix him, the man would just remake him from scratch anyway and… well, Sonic had the tiniest of affection in his heart for his robo double. Knuckles said it was narcissism. But Sonic insisted it wasn’t like that.

The echidna never believed him.

Either way, Sonic had to go. Shadow was waiting for him. He was letting the dark hedgehog down. He promised he’d be there by six; Sonic was breaking that promise with every second he let slip through his fingers.

Irritatingly, Sonic had to watch his pace as he wove his way through the streets. He couldn’t break the sound barrier, he couldn’t go too fast or he could put the people around him in danger. Sonic had to keep an even pace until he reached the edge of Central City. And then a little further, lest he shatter the windows of the last few building as he raced away at top speed. That crackly sound in his ears never got old but he couldn’t enjoy it. Not today.

By the time he skidded to a breathless stop outside Shadow’s house – well, almost against the door really – he was eleven minutes late.

Eleven.

Sonic didn’t waste a bear. He stepped up to the door and rapped his knuckles on the door as evenly as possible. At least the fear of knocking hadn’t stalled him this time. Honestly though, he was pretty sure the terror of being late managed to overshadow that today. Like at Amy’s yesterday, Sonic counted off the seconds, heart beating in his ears so fast it all seemed to meld into one continuous droning sound. It took about twenty-one seconds for Shadow to reach the door. When it opened, Sonic didn’t even let Shadow get a word in.

“I’m really sorry I’m late,” he wheezed.

Shadow’s eyes just widened.

“Chaos hedgehog, only by a few minutes,” Shadow said. “What the hell happened?”

Three lines carved their way across Sonic’s face. A fairly deep one over his cheek, a longer but shallower one at his temple, and another just barely showing up between his eyes on his forehead. They were still actively bleeding, sinking into his fur. Fresh. The cut at his cheek even had a small drip of crimson cascading down his muzzle. There was also blood smeared in his fur around his face, as though he’d tried wiping it away. Upon closer inspection, when Sonic rose a hand to lightly touch one of the scratches, Shadow could see red on the back side of his glove too. He’d definitely rubbed his hand over them after they’d happened.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Sonic insisted. “Jus’ a couple scratches.”

As if to prove his point, Sonic ran his palm over the scratch on his cheek, trying to wipe more of the blood away. Then he looked down at his glove and winced.

“Sorry, I didn’t have time to change my gloves.”

Shadow stiffened. He took Sonic by the arm and pulled him into the house. After closing the door, he pushed Sonic towards the settee. He instructed the hero to sit and disappeared into the downstairs toilet for the first aid kit. When he got back, Sonic took one look at the little red box and folded his ears.

“Shadow, they’re fine, really,” Sonic said. “Barely even bleeding.”

The dark hedgehog paused, frowning. The fact that they were bleeding at all wasn’t exactly good. What was Sonic’s issue? He just wanted to make sure they were properly clean. He had a good idea of what exactly had caused Sonic to be late. And honestly, for only being late by, what, ten minutes? That was pretty impressive. No doubt, Sonic had run here from wherever he’d been without even pausing to breathe after fighting something or other. Ten minutes wasn’t even that long in the grand scheme of things. And when exactly had Shadow demanded he be there at the turn of the hour? Besides, if he had an excuse, that made the time even more irrelevant. Sonic had most likely been fighting off Eggman or some creation from the mad Doctor. Sonic had most likely been saving lives.

And he was apologising for being somewhat late.

Why not let him dress his wounds either? Shadow wanted to do it. It wasn’t like he was going out of his way or wasting his time. It’s not like this would be holding up their evening at all. As far as Shadow was concerned, the point was to spend time with Sonic. He wasn’t really too bothered about the movie himself; he was just going to let Sonic choose what they watched anyway. And Sonic was here now, so what did anything else matter? The wounds weren’t serious, Shadow knew that. But they could still get infected. And it couldn’t be comfortable sitting there, letting the blood dry into his fur like that.

Shadow also tried not to be frustrated that Sonic hadn’t asked him for help. The hero was perfectly capable of handling himself and Shadow knew, if he’d been in a pinch, he would have called someone. But it wouldn’t have been bothering Shadow to call or even send a message. He would have been there in a heartbeat. And Sonic wouldn’t have had to rush over here.

Hell, if he’d just sent a message saying he was held up fighting Eggman, Shadow could have assured him that he could take his time. Take a breather.

The poor hedgehog’s chest was still rising and falling much too fast. He hadn’t given himself the chance for his breathing to even out any. Sonic was a haggard mess. And Shadow needed him to understand that it wasn’t a big deal. With their lifestyles, their work, it was inevitable that things like this would happen. That one of them would be late to plans or have to cancel, reschedule. If a G.U.N. mission came up last minute, Shadow would have no choice but to go. Likewise, if Eggman attacked literally anywhere in the world, he knew Sonic would be there. Perhaps this was a point he’d have to bring up with Sonic because the blue hedgehog didn’t seem to get that.

They were inevitably going to be busy at inopportune times. And that was of no fault of either of them. Life happened sometimes; they just had to take it in their stride and adapt accordingly. Shadow had known this from the beginning,

Sonic, apparently, hadn’t.

“Will you at least let me clean them?” Shadow asked.

“I-I can do it myself,” Sonic said.

Something about his tone felt… defensive. Had Shadow overstepped with that suggestion? It had seemed safe enough to him. Shadow had offered to clean his wounds and Sonic was saying no. Of course, Shadow would not push it if something about that was really making the blue hedgehog uncomfortable. Shadow was just having a hard time figuring out why it seemed to bother him so much. Regardless he assented, dipped his head to Sonic, and handed over the kit.

As Shadow reluctantly watched Sonic pick up a cotton ball, he let his eyes scan the rest of Sonic’s body. Were there any other wounds that Sonic was ignoring? The blue hedgehog held the cotton ball over the top of the rubbing alcohol, tipping the bottle up about twice to wet the cotton. Then he began cleaning up the cuts. Sonic was thorough but quick, wincing only slightly when the liquid first glided over the wounds. Though, honestly, Shadow didn’t expect anything less from a hedgehog used to taking hits. Prett big ones. Chaos, Shadow had been the one to deal some of those blows himself over the years. The blue hedgehog handled the cleanup with barely a reaction at all. With a quiet efficiency that spoke of years dealing with battle wounds.

Something felt kind of… sad about that. The fact that Sonic had been fighting so long, that he’d gotten hurt so often, it was just routine to him. That the wounds were trivial. Something that could be ignored if need be.

Shadow knew it was silly and a little hypocritical of him to be concerned about it all. Shadow had taken his fair share hits himself. And he took on missions equally as dangerous as what Sonic faced nearly every day; Shadow had even been apart of battles alongside the hero many a time. But it worried him just how used to it all Sonic seemed. Granted, Shadow barely batted an eye at a wound in the heat of battle either but he still made sure to treat it if he didn’t have an Emerald on hand. Even when his body mended itself far faster than the average mobian, he still took the time to avoid infection, even if that was very rare and his body could handle it no problem. Because safety, in that regarded, had been drilled into him on the Ark. He knew how important it was to clean every little scrape. Even the tiniest infection could have wiped Maria out for months or even killed her.

Was Shadow being paranoid? Were the cuts really not that big of a deal, like Sonic suggested? Sonic could handle a lot but he was still mortal.

He just wanted to make sure Sonic was safe.

And then he saw it. A irregularity in Sonic’s quills. Towards the top of his head, some of his spines had been bent or pushed out of place. A few had even snapped clean in half, blunted. That wasn’t right. Whether the scratches would be fine or not, that was no longer Shadow’s priority. Because Sonic had damaged his quills. His weapon, his defence. It didn’t seem like the bulk of them were affected but that didn’t matter. Shadow wondered if any of them were causing Sonic pain and how exactly he’d managed it.

Sonic’s go-to spin dash and homing attacks were not fool proof. If done incorrectly, as Shadow knew from experience, one could definitely cause more damage to themselves than their opponent. It was a skill Sonic had mastered long, long before Shadow had even woken up. So how had Sonic managed to damaged them like that in the first place? Perhaps he’d been thrown or blown back by something, knocked them against a wall or the floor. That could have caused it.

Still, Shadow didn’t like it. Didn’t like that Sonic was ignoring them just as he’d shrugged off the cuts. The quills were certainly a more severe problem. If left untreated, damaged quills could get seriously infected and cause further complications, especially if they’d been knocked into a different angle like some of Sonic’s were. That meant the quills had been forcibly ripped into a different position, likely causing internal wounds as they moved. The broken ones would be useless and possibly even irritated if they’d been jolted out of place before they’d snapped. And the bent ones would just cause other issues. Sonic should get them sorted as soon as possible to avoid further injury. He used them as a weapon; any and every attack would put more strain on them. Hell, even raising them in defence would do the same. Or leaning on them.

Shadow reached a hand out. He’d only meant to get Sonic to turn his head so he could inspect them closer. But Sonic immediately flinched back before Shadow’s glove could connect. The blue hedgehog’s hand stilled against his cheek where he’d been scrubbing a cotton ball over the dried blood – it had loosened it a bit but Shadow hated to tell him it was still caked in the peach fur.

“What’re you doing?” Sonic asked warily.

“Your quills are damaged. I wanted to take a closer look.”

“They’re fine.”

Another lie. One Shadow still would not fall for. That was probably why Sonic had pulled away from him; they were causing him pain. But if Sonic wouldn’t let him asses them, he’d have to go to a professional. They could not stay like that or Sonic would undoubtedly be in even more agony.

“You should probably see a speciali-”

“No!” Sonic yelped, standing from the settee. “N-no, I… I-I-I don’t need to go to anyone. I’ll j-just get Tails to look at them in the morning or s-something.”

Sonic had dropped the stained cotton ball. His voice was shaky and almost distressed. Shadow was regretting opening his mouth at all at this point. He hadn’t meant to scare Sonic.

Shadow narrowed his eyes. Sonic’s quills were bristling, ears folded back. Everything about his stance screamed, “I’m in danger.” One hand was hovering over his damaged quills, as a way to shield them from… what ever he thought he was protecting them from. His fur was on end, eyes wide, body somehow both shrunken in fear and tensed for combat. Over a suggestion for the hero’s health and wellbeing.

Had it been the wrong thing to say? Why? A professional would be quick, efficient and make everything as painless as possible. Shadow did not doubt Miles per se but he probably wasn’t a professional when it came to hedgehog spines. He’d most likely have learned a lot having Sonic as his brother but Shadow also could not guarantee he knew what he was doing. A quill specialist would know exactly what to do to prevent any further damage. Isn’t that what Sonic wanted? So why did the suggestion put Sonic on edge? What was Shadow missing with this picture?

“Sonic.”

“S’not a big deal, Shadow,” Sonic insisted. “H-honest. Tails usually takes ‘em out for me.”

So he would let Miles help but not Shadow? It kind of hurt that Sonic didn’t trust him with this. He understood that quills were very important to a hedgehog, that anything concerning them might make one feel vulnerable. He understood that Sonic did not like being vulnerable. But Shadow was a hedgehog too. Mostly. He knew what that damage could do if left untreated and he also knew what he was doing. He could help.

And… Sonic didn’t want it.

But Shadow was not the hedgehog’s brother. They may be dating but that didn’t mean Sonic was comfortable being that vulnerable around Shadow yet. This was technically supposed to be their second date after all. It made sense. But it still hurt.

Also, did Sonic just imply this had happened before? That it was, maybe, a semi-common occurrence? Chaos.

“I just wanted to help,” Shadow said gently.

Sonic looked away, that same glint in his eye that he’d had yesterday. Guilt. Clear as day. And Shadow had to wonder how Sonic could feel guilty about wanting to keep his boundaries. Even if it sort of bothered Shadow, he wasn’t about to step over that line into restricted territory. Which reminded him: they’d need to have that conversation sooner or later. Hopefully so situations like this could stop happening so frequently. If Shadow knew what lines not to cross, he could better focus on helping Sonic with everything else instead of causing more problems.

“I just…” Sonic mumbled, hand still hovering over his quills. “I… It’s hard to… They’re…”

Shadow would save Sonic from stumbling over any more words. He was starting to vaguely understand at least part of the issue here. It was something to work on but something Shadow just had to accept right now; there wasn’t much else he could do.

“You don’t trust me,” Shadow stated.

Sonic swung his head around to look at Sadow in horror.

“I do trust you,” Sonic said and he sounded really upset. “I really, truly do, Shadow.”

He took a deep breath. It was shaky. Shadow thought back to the flowers Sonic had given him. Was it freesia that Vanilla said had been the one to mean trust? Either way, he knew Sonic trusted him to some extent. But trust didn’t mean complete trust. Sonic could trust Shadow with certain things but other, more personal things, perhaps needed to be earned over time. Which made total sense to Shadow. Hell, he didn’t think he was ready to be completely open with Sonic on… certain topics himself.

“To be honest, I hardly like letting Tails deal with my quills,” Sonic admitted quietly. “It… freaks me out.”

Ah, so that was it. Sonic had a weird thing about his quills. Which was even more understandable. If anyone going near the blue hedgehog’s quills made Sonic supremely uncomfortable, then Shadow would refrain. But still, he held firm that Sonic had to get someone to look at them right away. Their date could wait.

“The longer you leave them, Sonic, the more time they have to get worse,” Shadow insisted. “If you need to cancel today, that’s fine. I just want you to be safe. Because… because I love you.”

Sonic seemed to tense. Was it just Shadow or had the bristling of his quills gotten worse? His mouth had opened, as though to argue about cancelling the date just like he had last time. But after Shadow’s admission, the hedgehog seemed to shut down. Like his brain had just switched off; he barely even blinked for a solid thirty seconds. A strange sort of terror had gripped him and it left Shadow wondering exactly what he’d done wrong this time.

Chaos, Shadow was bad at this.

That word. That word. The word he’d barely even been able to think. Shadow had just said it. So effortlessly. So casually. Just like that. And Sonic was panicking inside because he didn’t know if he could repeat it. But he should, shouldn’t he? Repeat it? Let Shadow know that’s how he felt too? But how could he do that when his stomach was in knots, his throat was constricting, and the room suddenly felt overpoweringly hot? The longer he waited, the shorter the window seemed to be. Like if he blinked the opportunity would vanish and he’d fuck it all up.

“Are you ok, Sonic?” Shadow asked.

And just like that, his chance was gone. The moment had passed and Sonic had missed the mark. Wasn’t that just so him? Hadn’t he basically done the same thing yesterday, with Amy? That stupid burning behind his eyes was rising again and it made him bite down on his own tongue in an attempt to stop it. Not in front of Shadow. Not again.

The dark hedgehog stood up, frowning. The concern on his face somehow made the burning worse. If he didn’t get a hold of himself, not only would he make a fool of himself once more but he’d also make Shadow worry about him.

“Sonic?”

Too late.

Sonic buried his face in his hands. The crushing rush of self-loathing overcame him too fast to stop it. The tears weren’t quite coming yet the but the shame was hitting him in spades, heavy like wet sand. He pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes to stop the tears from forming, falling, incriminating him as a pathetic idiot. Why was he even trying at this point when Shadow had already seen him babbling like a newborn hoglet? There was just too much going through his head today, too much plaguing his weary mind.

Amy snapping at him was still so fresh in his memory. And, despite himself, it still really hurt. Sonic resented himself for feeling the way he did. It felt like it invalidated Amy’s feelings because how dare he be upset when she was heartbroken? Sonic just didn’t think that was fair. He couldn’t even explain why, it just felt shitty for him to feel all this sorrow.

But his actions may have cost him a friend. A bubbly, optimistic, awesome friend.

“I’m so bad at this shit,” Sonic whined. “I don’t know what I’m doing. And apparently, I can’t even talk to people properly because I’m an idiot.”

Shadow’s hands found his shoulders. They were firm but gentle, like they always seemed to be. It was weirdly nice. Sonic wasn’t entirely sure he wanted that right now though, that he deserved it. He didn’t have the strength to push Shadow away. So he just had to endure those warm fingers sliding through the fur on his shoulders. The slight annoying, unwanted discomfort he felt from that alone would have to do. It would have to be enough to pay him back for dumping this stuff on Shadow right now. Chaos, what was he thinking?

“Hey,” Shadow said, voice soft. “What’s this about?”

Sonic debated telling Shadow what was on his mind, how much to tell him. There was so much. A lot of which he didn’t understand. But the biggest, most recent crisis on his mind was yesterday. It would be awful to fish for Shadow’s sympathy in the wake of what he’d done. But at the same time, he so wanted to get it off his chest…

Sonic hadn’t even told Tails what happened out of fears he’d get snappy with Amy himself. Sonic really didn’t want then. Because then his whole friendship circle could break down, friends turning against friends, all of them taking sides. There were no taking sides in this. All Sonic wanted was to make Amy happy again. And if that meant staying out of her life, well, that’s what he’d have to do. And that felt just as crappy. But she’d told him to leave her alone; he had to abide by her wishes. It was the only way she might feel better. And right now, that’s all he could hope for: for her to feel even the tiniest bit lighter after it all.

But Shadow could be safe to tell, right? He wouldn’t care to get involved in this mess Sonic had made. Maybe.

“I-I tried talking to A-Amy yesterday,” Sonic mumbled. “To tell her th-that I don’t like her the same way b-b-because she deserved that. It… it d-didn’t go well.”

He wasn’t really sure why he said it.

“Your eyes were red yesterday,” Shadow said softly, almost to himself. “Was that why?”

Chaos, had Shadow noticed that? Oh, of course he had. He was super observant and that was one of the many things Sonic both adored and hated about the dark hedgehog. He liked that Shadow paid attention, he really did. It made him feel listened to. But, sometimes, Sonic wished he wouldn’t notice details like that. It was humiliating. And he really didn’t want Shadow worrying about that stuff. So he tried to pivot, to make sure Shadow understood that it was all on him and that he shouldn’t worry.

He just wished he could speak without stuttering for one moment.

“I-it was my fault,” Sonic cried, refusing to directly answer. “I went about it in the s-s-s-stupidest way possible. I made it worse. Her reaction was completely j-justified.”

Shadow’s fingers tightened around his shoulders. He didn’t seem to achieve the response he was hoping for. Sonic thought about shrugging him away. He still couldn’t quite bring himself to do it, choosing to try and focus on the pricking feeling along his arms that was getting steadily worse instead.

“But it upset you,” Shadow said.

It wasn’t a question. The tears had been staved off for now, so Sonic glanced at Shadow through his fingers. Those red eyes stared back at him, level and mostly unreadable. He hadn’t meant to catch his eye but he did. It caught him in place for a beat. Sonic wanted to tell Shadow not to worry. He wanted to insist that, despite his voice, he was ok and that it wasn’t that big of a deal. He was so alright with what had happened.

“I didn’t mean to make her cry,” Sonic whispered.

But, for some reason, that wasn’t what came out. At all. Because, honestly, he wasn’t alright. And once the floodgate had opened, the tears sprang back to his eyes. He didn’t hide his face in time before one fell. It cascaded down the side of his muzzle, hot and incriminating. His stomach sunk with added shame. He’d tried not to. But there was no stopping it once he started. Sonic attempted to duck his head away from Shadow’s line of sight again but those hands slid down his arms and caught his wrists, stopping them from covering his face. He settled for staring down at the floor instead.

“Oh, Sonic, of course you didn’t,” Shadow assured. “It was something Amy needed to hear; she’ll get over it.”

“Wh-what if she doesn’t? What if she h-hates me forever?”

Shadow pulled him into a hug. Sonic froze against him for a moment even though he didn’t really know why. Then, hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Shadow, returning the hug he didn’t realise how badly he’d needed.

It still felt wrong. But right now, he really didn’t care.

“I can’t guarantee anything,” Shadow admitted. “I don’t know what’s going through her head. But she’ll be letting go of an amazing friend if she does. It would be foolish.”

Sonic openly sobbed into Shadow’s chest. He didn’t mean to let go like this in front of the dark hedgehog. It didn’t seem fair. To unload all this on him when it wasn’t any of his concern. This was Sonic’s problem, one he’d caused. How could Shadow take his side with this? He didn’t really know what he’d done. Should he tell Shadow? Tell him how he’d given her flowers like a moron? How he’d stumbled over his words and made an absolute fool of himself while crushing Amy’s heart into thousands of itty-bitty, tiny pieces? Should he tell Shadow how much of a dick he was?

Sonic shook his head.

“I’m not amazing,” Sonic whined. “I think I r-really fucked up, Shadow.”

“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think, Sonic,” Shadow insisted. “It feels like that right now because it’s so fresh. But give it time.”

“I fucked up…” Sonic whimpered, breath hitching.

Shadow shushed him. He guided Sonic over to the settee to sit back down, waited patiently for him to get a hold of himself. It took a while. Which made Sonic feel so much crappier. But Shadow didn’t seem to mind. This was officially going worse than the first time they’d done this, wasn’t it? Granted, he hadn’t thrown up his guts this time. Still, the near constant ache at the back of his head, being late, and crying all over Shadow was shaping this up to be worse somehow. At least, by this point last time, they’d actually gotten into what Shadow had planned. So far, the TV was still off and they were just sitting there and…

Sonic quietly sniffled.

Some people said they felt better after they’d had a good cry. Sonic thought those people were lying to themselves.

“Now, at risk of upsetting you again,” Shadow started carefully. “We do need to discuss what we’re going to do here, about your quills. I, personally, think you should go home to Miles.”

“Shadow, I-”

“We can reschedule,” Shadow insisted. “Your health is more important. Miles is your brother; you’ve known him for a long time. I don’t care where you get help, just as long as you get it. And I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

He didn’t just mean his quills or the date. He meant Amy.

For a moment, Sonic fell silent. Was this Shadow’s way of trying to get rid of him? Or was he thinking too much about that again? Every time he thought something like that, Shadow seemed to prove the opposite was true. But how long would the dark hedgehog hold out before he got sick of Sonic? Shadow had said the L word to him before Sonic had gotten all weepy. And the dark hedgehog was always so honest. So maybe it was ok. Was rescheduling really so bad? Sonic still sort of thought that yes, it was. But Shadow didn’t. And the dark hedgehog seemed to sure…

But, he’d seen the disappointment in his eyes when he’d refused his help. And he still felt guilty about implying that he didn’t trust Shadow. He absolutely did trust Shadow so very, very much. So maybe Sonic would suck it up, let Shadow try. To prove he meant it too.

He had to prove he meant it.

“You know I trust you, right?” Sonic asked meekly.

Shadow dipped his head. He gave Sonic a little reassuring smile. But Sonic had to do this, for Shadow. That brief hurt look wouldn’t leave him alone. And he would not upset someone else in his life so soon after Amy. He just couldn’t deal with that today. It might make him cry again. And he really didn’t need another cry-fest right now.

“Yes, I know, Sonic,” Shadow said. “I promise you, I understand.”

Sonic let out a long breath. He would probably regret this. But he had to remind himself he was doing this for Shadow; his discomfort was not important.

“If… if you really want to help,” Sonic mumbled. “I can try.”

Shadow’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure?” Shadow asked.

“Only if you promise it’s not a bother to you.”

“It’s not.”

“I also feel the need to warn you that I’m going to be really difficult,” Sonic warned. “It’s not on purpose, I swear, but… I have caused Tails a lot of trouble in the past.”

Sonic was being completely honest. The first time Tails had to take out a quill he’d bent, Sonic had flinched away from him and cut a deep gash across Tails’ finger. He was pretty sure the scar was still there, though he hadn’t seen Tails’ hands for a little while. And that had only been the first time; it didn’t ever seem to get any easier. Tails probably had quite a few cuts and scars on his hands. Not to mention the amount of times Sonic had run off halfway through, hidden away somewhere.

They’d gotten infected once. That had been hell.

“I’ll be patient,” Shadow promised.

The dark hedgehog stood up, presumably to go fetch a pair of tweezers and a bowl. But, five minutes alter, he came back with a second pair of his own gloves instead. Shadow held the dark-cuffed garments out to Sonic who stared at them dumbly.

“To replace your gloves,” Shadow said.

Sonic wanted to refuse them, to tell Shadow he didn’t want to steal any of his gloves. But if Shadow was offering them, he was probably bothered by the blood on Sonic’s ruined ones. So he relented, hesitantly taking the proffered pair. As Shadow disappeared once more for the items he’d thought he was going to get the first time, Sonic tugged off his ruined pair. Then he slipped his hand into one of Shadow’s gloves. It was odd how different they felt to his own. These were super soft on the insides, making his fingers feel all snuggly. They must have been expensive. Sonic’s own were cheap ones that he knew he could replace in bulk.

He got through a lot of gloves.

Frowning, Sonic wanted to make sure he got these washed and returned to Shadow as soon as possible. The luxurious feel of them felt foreign against his pads, like he really shouldn’t be wearing them. To be offered such an item to borrow felt weirdly significant though in a way he couldn’t explain. It made him feel all warm but in a good way. And still slightly horrified.

He’d take good care of them, make sure they were washed thoroughly the moment he got home. Then, when his quills were sorted, he’d wrap them up in tissue paper and drop them off at Shadow’s door. Leave them with a thank you note, to let Shadow know how much he seriously appreciated the gesture.

Shadow asked Sonic to sit cross-legged on the settee, facing the armrest. Then he settled behind him in a similar position, laying out everything he needed. The bowl he rested on his lap, ready to be filled with the quills Shadow would be taking out. The quill comb he’d run to get was put to the side – he’d be using that later to fix Sonic’s quills back into place and check for any he’d missed. From the first aid kit, Shadow produced the rubbing alcohol Sonic had put away, a couple more cotton balls, and a pair of tweezers to ease the quills free. Last, he took out the lidocaine numbing cream he had, hoping that would make the process a little less painful for the already anxious hero.

He talked Sonic through his process as he first did a visual scan of his topmost quills. He had to ask Sonic to look up slightly so he had easier access. This went marginally ok. Shadow was able to determine where a lot of the damage was centred. Then, he asked permission to quickly feel around for any damage he couldn’t see from this angle. Adding that he’d have to take off his gloves and asking if that was ok.

Sonic faltered for a few moments before giving a single apprehensive nod.

“Be careful,” Sonic mumbled, seemingly more out of habit than anything else.

He promised he would.

Shadow took off one glove. He knew Sonic was trying to relax but his quills stayed in that same mid-raised range they always seemed to be in. Was Sonic always tense? Hopefully when he was actually sleeping and not napping he actually relaxed a bit more thoroughly. Maybe the hero could do with a massage or something.

He decided to start a little further out from Sonic’s quills, just under the base of his ear, to give the hedgehog the warning that he was about to touch very sensitive skin. And also giving him a chance to get used to his touch before he moved on. When he started to feel around the softer skin beneath his spines, Sonic flinched away from him with a gasp. Then he stiffened and swung his head around to look over his shoulder with wide eyes.

“S-sorry, Shadow,” he said, worried. “Did I cut you?”

The dark hedgehog shook his head reassuringly; he’d moved his hand away in time. Sonic let out a breath and turned back around. He let Sonic know out loud that he was going to touch him again. Shadow could feel how tensed Sonic was as he tried once more, every muscle apparently wound tight like a spring. He felt around as gently as he could, only lightly pressing down on the skin, feeling for irregularities or wounds. Every now and then, Sonic would twitch or squirm in place, his quills would flex. Once Shadow was satisfied that the majority of the damage had been done to the quills themselves, he backed off for a moment. It looked worse than it actually was, but there was some obvious soreness closer to the top of his head.

Then he mentioned the numbing cream to Sonic, to keep the hedgehog in the loop of what he was about to do next. He asked, once more, if it was ok to use it. Since there were no open wounds that Shadow could see or feel – which didn’t mean there weren’t internal ones though – the lidocaine shouldn’t be an issue on that front. And Sonic didn’t believe he had any allergies that should cause a problem with applying it either. The blue hedgehog nodded. Shadow squeezed a small dollop onto a cotton ball to avoid numbing his own fingers. He once again warned Sonic what was coming and reached back into Sonic’s quills. He started to apply the cream to the delicate skin around those blue spines. The dark hedgehog could see the way Sonic was gripping a cushion like he was trying to strangle the life out of it. But he was remaining relatively still.

At first.

It started with a growl that steadily increased in volume and pitch. There had been a vague rumbling sound for a while but Shadow had hardly heard it. But then it rose into a angrier sound, with an underlying edge bordering on distress. All of a sudden, Sonic leaped up from the settee again, uttering a quiet curse under his breath. His quills bristled heavily. The blue hedgehog shook out his fur, rubbing a hand down his quills in an attempt to smooth them seemingly by force. Shadow caught the slight wince at the start of the motion.

But he couldn’t help but notice how Sonic had no trouble touching his quills himself. Obviously, he couldn’t see the damage or remove them himself, but he was actively running his fingers through them.

“No, nope, nuh-uh” he said. “I’m sorry, Shadow. I… I can’t do it.”

Shadow hummed, coming to a sudden realisation. Chaos, he wished he’d had it sooner…

“Are you touch averse, Sonic?” Shadow asked.

“No,” Sonic responded automatically, sharply, like a defence. “I mean, I don’t think so? Not… not all the time. I’m fine with Tails usually, so I can’t be.”

Shadow determined that, yes, Sonic was touch averse. Miles, being Sonic’s family, someone he was very close with, it would make sense that Sonic was more comfortable with his touch. And even then, considering Sonic’s “usually,” that wasn’t a guarantee either. Sonic had hugged Shadow on his birthday – but the stress and relief could account for that. He hadn’t let go of his hand on their first date, though he had flinched at the initial contact and his grip had been lax for a few minutes. And he had accepted the hug earlier… after first tensing. But Sonic seemed to think that, because there were exceptions, or that he’d warmed up to his touch, he didn’t have a real issue with it. Or perhaps Sonic didn’t want to admit he had a problem at all. Not that it was a big deal, a thing he needed to fix. That was for Shadow to be mindful of. Shadow would keep this all in mind going forward, letting Sonic decide when he was comfortable enough.

But right now, Sonic’s quills were obviously off-limits. He’d tolerated the first few minutes as Shadow inspected them but he was too overwhelmed now. Knowing this, the fact that he’d even made an effort to let Shadow close with his quills to begin with was an amazing first step already. He wouldn’t push it. Still, even though they hadn’t gotten very far, Shadow was very proud of him. It was clearly hard for the blue hedgehog. So Shadow would back off. But suggesting he go home right away had also upset Sonic. And, though Shadow would prefer he get them looked at as soon as possible, perhaps they could just sit for a moment; allow Sonic to breathe.

So he patted the spot beside him again and dipped his head to Sonic.

“We don’t have to sort them out now,” Shadow said. “Just sit for a minute and try to relax instead.”

Sonic sent him a look. Something wide-eyed and guilty, like he was moments away from apologising to Shadow. For what, something he couldn’t control? But would that be the first time? Sonic hadn’t even said hello when he got to the house, immediately rushing to apologise for being late instead. “I’m sorry” seemed to be Sonic’s go to phrase, something automatic, even instinctual. Was he aware of how often he apologised?

Shadow wouldn’t bring it up. Just in case Sonic would get upset about that too. It would be nice to see Sonic properly relax for once but Shadow accepted that it might take a while for the blue hedgehog to get to that point. And that was ok. They’d go at Sonic’s pace. Which was admittedly a lot slower than Shadow had anticipated. Which was also perfectly ok. He was fine with adapting to Sonic’s needs. Because the longer he spent with him, the more Shadow began to realise that he wanted to keep Sonic in his life.

Even if he could only have him for such a tiny fraction of that life.

Shadow desperately tried to purge that thought from his mind as fast as he could. He still wasn’t prepared to face the mortality of the hero. He swore he would someday but today was not that day. So he tried one of his new techniques that he knew had an effect on Sonic’s mood. To distract them both.

“The back of your head is going to feel fuzzy for a couple hours,” Shadow said playfully.

Sonic huffed. But a smile worked its way onto his face. He’d raised Sonic’s spirits a little at the very least. The blue hedgehog made himself comfortable and let out a long, low breath. Shadow wanted to take his hand again but didn’t dare overstep, not when he now knew how Sonic felt about it. He might allow it, though he might currently be more likely to reject Shadow’s touch in light of what happened just a moment ago.

A few minutes later, Sonic pulled a face, coiling his arms close to his chest.

“Feels like my quills are falling out,” he mumbled.

“They aren’t,” Shadow assured. “It’s just the lidocaine.”

Sonic settled his hands in his lap for a moment. Then one tried to migrate out onto the settee, near Shadow’s. It was a subtle movement, one Sonic immediately tried to correct like he’d been caught doing something wrong. Shadow decided to risk it. He reached out to take that hand himself, hating the way Sonic jumped at the contact. A moment later, Sonic’s limp fingers coiled around his. Shy and unsure but also insistent.

“Can… can I stay here until it wears off?” Sonic asked quietly. “I regret saying yes to that stuff.”

“Of course,” Shadow responded. “But then will you go see your brother? For me?”

Sonic nodded, tightening his grip marginally.

“Promise.”

Shadow picked up the remote. He held it up, giving it a light wiggle to draw attention to it. Sonic looked over, tilting his head. There was a deep discomfort in his emerald eyes but they seemed to light up a touch at the insinuation.

“Distraction?” Shadow asked.

Sonic perked up. Shadow was setting their date back on track. If Sonic would prefer to put off attending to his quills, Shadow would just have to go along with it. He was probably overreacting looking back on it anyway; what could happen in a few hours? As long as Sonic kept his promise, that was enough for Shadow. He’d be fine. He was Sonic the Hedgehog and that hero didn’t break easy. After an uncomfortable night with his brother by his side, Sonic would bounce back. Shadow just had to keep telling himself that Sonic’s quills were unlikely to get infected so fast.

He took a deep breath, letting that certainty wash over him. Sonic was not Maria. Even if one of his quills did end up getting infected, he would not succumb to it. Sonic was strong. Shadow was just being silly, overly cautious.

Just a couple hours. Sonic would be fine for a couple hours.

“Sure,” Sonic replied, beaming at him.

Sonic would be alright.