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Congrats, Harry. You’re sober now.
It’s been a little more than a year since your legendary bender in Martinaise, and exactly six months since you decided to quit drinking. Forever.
RHETORIC — Technically, you tried to quit drinking after solving THE HANGED MAN.
EMPATHY — Seeing first-hand how the entire precinct suffered from past Harry’s actions, a Harry that was hellbent on destroying himself and others with booze and speed…
EMPATHY — You just couldn’t be that kind of animal anymore. You couldn’t keep seeing the look of sadness in Judit’s eyes. You couldn’t keep ruining Jean’s life. And even more importantly…
ESPRIT DE CORPS — You didn’t want to disappoint Lieutenant Kitsuragi.
So you gave up on drinking. There have been a couple of relapses since then. “It’s not your fault, Harry,” Lieutenant Kitsuragi had told you when you called him sobbing and heaving late at night, one hand on your receiver and the other holding a near-empty bottle of Commodore Red. “Relapses are common for recovering alcoholics. What matters is that you keep trying.”
VOLITION — And so, you did. You kept trying. You pushed through sleepless nights and severe withdrawal, and here we are. Today marks the six-month mark since your last drink.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — It’s all the Crownhead’s fault. Always pushing Harry to be on the straight and narrow. “Don’t lick that stain off the counter, Harry! Sharing drugs with a twelve-year-old is bad, Harry!” Phah. We’ve sunk so low…
VOLITION — It had to be done. We could not continue like this. Harry was slowly killing himself.
LOGIC — Quite literally. Years of alcohol abuse severely damaged his liver. It will never fully recover, by the way. It’s a wonder it didn’t give up on us.
ENCYCLOPEDIA — Cirrhosis is advanced scarring of the liver caused by many diseases and conditions, especially alcohol use disorder. Each time the liver is injured, whether by alcohol use disorder or another cause, it tries to repair itself. In the process, scar tissue forms. As cirrhosis gets worse, more and more scar tissue forms, making it difficult for the liver to filter blood. Advanced cirrhosis is life-threatening. Most of the time, the liver damage caused by cirrhosis cannot be undone.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Yeah, yeah. Keep deluding yourselves. The truth that you’re all trying to avoid is that he cannot function without his booze. Just look at him. His hands are constantly shaking, his mood swings are worse than ever, and he can barely focus on detective work. Now he’s so…
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — Bulky.
SAVOIR-FAIRE — Agile?
SUGGESTION — Boring.
ENDURANCE — Resilient?
DRAMA — Virtuous!
ENCYCLOPEDIA — Tortoises are reptiles of the family Testudinidae of the order Testudines. Like other turtles, tortoises have a shell to protect them from predation and-
HALF-LIGHT — The fuck does this have to do with anything?
AUTHORITY — Nobody asked you, nerd.
EMPATHY — He’s happier now.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Happy? Fat chance, buddy. The only way Harry can be happy is with a bottle of alcohol in his right hand, speed in his left hand, pyrholidon in his other hand, and maybe a hot lady’s mouth around his c-
REACTION SPEED — Wow, wow, WOW! Do you have to be so… crass?
HAND/EYE COORDINATION — …Why do we have three hands in your fantasy?
SAVOIR-FAIRE — No such thing as “too many hands”.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Less logistics, more action, baby!
INLAND EMPIRE — You’re wrong. He doesn’t need all that to be happy. Not anymore. He doesn’t even need her anymore…
ENDURANCE — The ex-something…
CONCEPTUALIZATION — The white mourning…
PERCEPTION (SMELL) — The apricot-scented one…
PAIN THRESHOLD — He’s right. Even though the pain of losing her will never fully go away, there’s something new replacing it.
CONCEPTUALIZATION — Blossoming in your chest, underneath all the layers of heartbreak.
PERCEPTION (SMELL) — Smelling of oil and pinewood and comfort…
ESPRIT DE CORPS — Him…
HALF-LIGHT — Great. So we’re just switching one heartbreak for another?
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — Wait, what are we talking about? Who the hell is “him”?
Kim and you are sitting together in a small cafe in Jamrock, enjoying a shared lunch break. He’s currently nursing a hot cup of coffee while you’re contemplating ordering a third serving of delicious pancakes.
ENDURANCE — You’ve been feeling pretty ravenous since deciding to lay off the drink.
The lieutenant gives you a crooked smile as you regale him with one of your favorite tales. It’s one of the rare stories from before your rebirth that you actually remember: the time when Jean and you had dressed in full drag to infiltrate an underground club. Your hands are moving frantically as you narrate the story.
YOU — “Jean was livid after we solved the case. Threatened to cut my balls off if I ever told that story to anyone outside Precinct 41. I must say… He looked pretty dashing in those slinky robes of his. Such talent wasted in the RCM…”
At that, Kim laughs. Genuinely laughs. Not one of his secret smiles that only you can see—no no, a full belly laugh.
COMPOSURE [Challenging: Failure] — Heat immediately rises to your cheeks as a warm, gooey feeling pools in your stomach.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — Oh hell no.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Something about this sound scratches an itch in your mangled brain. Realization comes to you fast and hard: you would do anything to hear it again. And again. And again. Right now, it seems like the only thing that could ever possibly fulfill you.
VOLITION — I thought only drugs and alcohol could fulfill him, hm? Looks like the weathervane has turned.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — That’s not the same!
VOLITION — …Right.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — Umm, can we talk about the elephant in the room? Why is Harry acting like some kind of f****t?!
You decide to put an end to this extremely dangerous line of thought by slamming your hand against the side of your head. Hard.
-1 HEALTH
PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Failure] — Ow! What the fuck?!
VISUAL CALCULUS [Easy: Success] — That’s so going to leave a bruise.
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant is looking at you with barely veiled concern.
KIM KITSURAGI — “Detective… Are you alright?”
DRAMA — Uh oh! You need to come up with a lie posthaste, my liege, lest you want to end up in a mental hospital!
VOLITION [Heroic: Success] — No. The lieutenant is used to your antics by now. He even believes that it’s what makes you a great detective. You do not need to lie to him. Ever.
- [DRAMA - Formidable Success] — Come up with a lie on the spot.
-1 Volition is against it.
-2 You trust Kim. - [VOLITION - Medium 10] — Just tell him the truth.
+2 You trust Kim.
+2 And he trusts you back. - “Are YOU alright, Kim?”
- “Did you know tortoises are reptiles of the family Testudinidae of the order Testudines?”
VOLITION [Medium: Success] — “I’m alright. Peachy. Coolio. Thoughts were just getting a bit too loud. The usual.” You manage with a lopsided grin.
KIM KITSURAGI — “Ah. Your… council of voices is giving you trouble again?”
SHIVERS — A few weeks ago, a detective of the Citizens Militia was telling a bespectacled man in an orange bomber jacket about the twenty-four voices that share his daily life.
“I call them my skills since I use them for basically everything. I know it sounds fucking crazy, Kim, but they’re a part of me. They give me advice and help me do things.”
“Huh,” the bespectacled man had answered, looking more than a little stunned. “Is that why you always seem…?”
“Out of it? Yep. I swear they’re helpful, though! For example, Shivers is the one who told me where Ruby was back in Martinaise!”
“They even have names?”
“Sure do. Shivers is like… my connection to La Revacholière. She often speaks to me. She likes me a lot! She likes you too, I think. Matter of fact, a lot of my skills like you.”
“Uh uh.”
“They do! Interfacing is a big fan, for example—he’s my car enthusiast side. Then we have Esprit de Corps, my cop side, who’s terrified of disappointing you and the rest of Precinct 41. He keeps calling you my half-brother, and he’s quite… passionate. Oh, I should also tell you about Inland Empire-”
YOU — You shake away the cold sensation, before realizing that you’ve just spent five minutes standing there like a dumbass. The lieutenant is still waiting for your answer.
YOU — You nod. “Yeah. As I’ve said, the usual. Don’t worry about me, Kim.”
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant returns your nod with a smile.
COMPOSURE [Godly: Success] — A painfully fake smile.
YOU — What do you mean?
DRAMA [Godly: Success] — Lieutenant Kitsuragi is hiding something from you, sire!
COMPOSURE — He’s fidgeting in his seat, hands nervously fiddling with his napkin. He looks like he wants to say something, but can’t bring himself to do it.
- What the hell is he even hiding?
- I feel a bit nervous. Kim is not one to hide things from me.
- “Kim, are you hiding something from me?”
LOGIC — He’s not.
- What the hell is he even hiding?
- I feel a bit nervous. Kim is not one to hide things from me.
- “Kim, are you hiding something from me?”
CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Failure] — He’s leaving the RCM to become a renowned artist.
RHETORIC [Medium: Failure] — He’s finally ready to start building communism again with us!
ENDURANCE [Medium: Failure] — Of course not, you fucking commie. He’s going to ride an aerostatic into the sunset with us as the world burns do-
EMPATHY — Not to rain on your guys’ parade, but I think the lieutenant is a bit too blue-blooded for any of that…
RHETORIC — It isn’t too late to turn him into a proper communist. Just so you wait…
PAIN THRESHOLD [Medium: Failure] — He’s ready to trash you.
HALF-LIGHT [Easy: Success] — He’s going to kill us and dump our body in the River Esperance. Nobody will ever find us.
LOGIC — Why the fuck would he tell us then???
INLAND EMPIRE [Godly: Success] — Inside Kim’s pockets, *something* is wrapped in a decorative paper with small brown polka dots. It’s a gift. For you.
YOU — Is it disco?
INLAND EMPIRE — Oh, Harry. It’s the most disco gift ever made.
EMPATHY [Godly: Success] — The lieutenant has been planning this little surprise for a while now, but he’s currently second-guessing himself. “What if he doesn’t like it?” he thinks. “What if he finds it stupid and lame?”
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — A gift? Yum yum, now you got me interested!
YOU — I agree. Now I *need* to know.
SUGGESTION — Whatever you do, do *not* try to can-open Kim. He will not appreciate it.
- What the hell is he even hiding?
- I feel a bit nervous. Kim is not one to hide things from me.
- “Kim, are you hiding something from me?
- “I would never laugh at you, you know. You don’t need to overthink around me.”
- “I’m a policeman. I’m a normal policeman who’s not going to can-open you by asking you what gift you are hiding in a totally normal, friendly, and non-can-opening way.”
RHETORIC — The fuck?
SUGGESTION — Why do I even try…
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant frowns hard, mouth slightly parted. Out of everything you could have possibly said, he clearly didn’t expect *that*. He might be used to your quirks by now after spending so much time together—as your friend and partner—but that doesn’t mean you can’t catch him off-guard still.
KIM KITSURAGI — “Huh?”
REACTION SPEED — Quick! This situation can still be salvaged!
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — You should just run, son. The binoclard will never be able to catch up with you. The RCM can take the man out of the gym teacher but you can’t take the gym teacher out of the man. Whatever. Plus, cafes are for women and nancies.
- [REACTION SPEED - Challenging 12] — Try to explain yourself.
- [SAVOIR-FAIRE - Heroic 15] — Escape from the cafe!
+2 Coach Physical Instrument approves! - Apologize. Just apologize, Sorry Cop style.
REACTION SPEED [Challenging: Failure] — Words scramble in your brain before you can even attempt to get them out. You just flap your mouth like a dying fish.
- [SAVOIR-FAIRE - Heroic 15] — Escape from the cafe!
+2 Coach Physical Instrument approves! - Apologize. Just apologize, Sorry Cop style.
YOU — “I didn’t mean to can-open you. I know you don’t like it… I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me.”
SUGGESTION — Harry, I have a fun fact for you.
YOU — What?
SUGGESTION — There’s something that Kim—and everyone in general—hates more than getting can-opened without his permission. It’s when you start apologizing excessively and self-flagellating.
VOLITION — He does have a point.
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant remains silent for a few seconds, face unreadable and lips pressed together.
HALF-LIGHT — Told you he was going to kill us. You’ve made a fool of yourself and now he’s going to stab you in the eye with his spoon.
LOGIC [Medium: Success] — He’s not. Just give him a moment.
KIM KITSURAGI — “Detective,” he eventually manages. “What on earth are you talking about?”
LOGIC — Told you. He doesn’t sound angry or annoyed or ready to kill you. He was just confused, and you were just overthinking again.
YOU — “I… I *might* have guessed you had a gift for me and felt too embarrassed to give it to me. But I want you to know that whatever it is, I’ll fucking love it. I’m just so happy that you thought of me, and I’ll be grateful no matter what.”
KIM KITSURAGI — He blinks once. Then lets out a small sigh. “Khm. I should have known your little council would figure it out. I guess there’s no point in hiding it anymore.”
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant produces a small package from his orange bomber jacket and hands it to you. The decorative paper with brown polka dots, as you already know.
YOU — Can I try to guess what’s inside?
INLAND EMPIRE [Godly: Success] — As a proud member of the Remote Viewers Division, this is a no-brainer for you. Inside is-
KIM KITSURAGI — He immediately figures out what you’re trying to do as your eyes glaze over. “ Stop trying to guess what’s in there. Just open it.” His voice is stern. That’s the Juvenile Officer Kitsuragi™ voice. The same voice he used for fifteen years against delinquents.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Tell you what, Harry-boy. Being on the receiving end of that voice is really fucking hot.
ESPRIT DE CORPS — I agree…
VOLITION — Huh???
YOU — “But…”
KIM KITSURAGI — He raises an eyebrow.
AUTHORITY [Impossible: Failure] — Sorry bud, but you’re on your own. Even I can’t resist the eyebrow of authority.
YOU — Feeling like a scolded little kid, you simply pout and grab the package from Kim’s hands. Damn it. You really wanted to guess what was inside. However, you don’t want to face Kim’s wrath either, so you decide to just tear open the package. Your heart is beating a bit faster in your chest, inexplicably enough.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] — That’s because you’re excited, Harry-boy. The thrill of not knowing what’s inside and knowing that Kim took a lot of time and effort to make YOU happy…
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Yeah, it’s doing something to your pal Electrochemistry here. Just like basking in the fumes of a juicy fat blunt.
CONCEPTUALIZATION — Uhhh… It started off good, but the metaphor is a bit lacking.
YOU — You let out a small gasp when you finally lock eyes with your prize.
PERCEPTION — A classy necktie presents itself to you. The fabric is orange and so unbelievably buttery when you run your fingers across it.
REACTION SPEED [Medium: Success] — Isn’t that shade of orange suspiciously close to the Lieutenant’s jacket…?
LOGIC [Easy: Failure] — Huh. Surely a coincidence.
PERCEPTION — That’s not all. A motif is embroidered in green across the fabric: a little disco ball. It suddenly dawns on you that this wasn’t bought in some shop. No, the Lieutenant *made* this for you.
SHIVERS — In a small yet well-kept apartment in the GRIH, Lieutenant Kitsuragi from the 41st Precinct was hunched at his desk, meticulously sewing an intricate pattern on the orange fabric of a necktie. The fabric itself cost him a pretty penny—way more than he usually allows himself on his measly salary. Still, he smiles as his hard work comes to life.
COMPOSURE [Godly: Failure] — Before you even know it, you’re already tearing up. You still don’t remember much of your past life, so this might as well be the first gift you’ve ever received. And it’s from Kim. Your best friend, half-brother, and coolest person you’ve ever met.
YOU — Why is he even doing this? I don’t get it. He’s so perfect and put-together. I don’t deserve him. I’m scum.
VOLITION — Oh, hush you. Who are you to tell Kim what he deserves or not? He’s hanging out with you and giving you things out of his own volition. Now stop thinking stupid things and just thank him like a normal person.
YOU — You’re actively fighting back tears and you’re pretty sure your lip is wobbling, but you manage to croak out a small ‘thank you’.
KIM KITSURAGI — He gives you a small, fond smile. “I’m glad you like it, detective. Been thinking you could use a replacement after turning your old one into a makeshift petrol bomb.”
YOU — You sniff. “I didn’t do anything. The tie made me do it, remember?”
KIM KITSURAGI — “Uh huh.” He’s absolutely not convinced. “Is this one also going to give you life advice?”
MISS ORANGE DISCO NECKTIE — No. I will not give you life advice or become some sort of maternal figure for you. You’re a grown man, and I am but a necktie. But I will be there. I will be there when winter comes and it suddenly feels impossible to live. I will be there when temptation becomes a bit too hard to ignore. I will be there to remind you that you have people who care about you, Lieutenant-Yefreitor Du Bois, and that no matter what awaits you tomorrow, you won’t face it on your own.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Fuck no! Not another Volition! Give me back the old necktie!
YOU — Okay. I appreciate it, supportive orange necktie. Truly, I do. Just one question: what kind of name is this?
CONCEPTUALIZATION — What do you mean? I came up with it. It's cool.
RHETORIC — No, it's not. It's lame.
SUGGESTION — Totally lame.
AUTHORITY — Incredibly lame.
SAVOIR-FAIRE — Lame as fuck.
SHIVERS — Behind you, a customer opens the cafe’s door, making a gush of wind come over you. Your skin crawls…
SHIVERS — SO UNBELIEVABLY LAME.
CONCEPTUALIZATION — Fuck you all.
MISS ORANGE DISCO NECKTIE — The necktie is oblivious to your inner musings.
KIM KITSURAGI — So is Kim, who looks mildly horrified after witnessing you mumble to your newly acquired necktie for five minutes now.
KIM KITSURAGI — “Khm. Aren’t you going to put it on?” he says gently.
AUTHORITY — You don’t have to do everything he says, you know. You’re not his dog.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Speak for yourself! Woof woof!
AUTHORITY — Wow.
INTERFACING [Easy: Success] — Despite your shaky hands, you manage to tie your necktie properly and neatly around your neck. It feels right. Miss Orange Disco Necktie is at home.
It feels really good. Having the proof of someone’s affection around your neck, that is. You feel like you could take on the world like this. You already were an absolute unit back in Martinaise, but with this necktie? You could have bench pressed Measurehead.
KIM KITSURAGI — The lieutenant’s eyes remain fixed on your neck. His mouth is slightly parted, his gaze intense and dark.
LOGIC — He must be admiring his handiwork. He’d be right to be proud of it.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Umm, guys? I don’t think he is. He looks like he’s about to eat us whole.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — You mean… In a fight?
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — If by a fight, you mean wrestling together in bed, sure…
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — No way! You’re shitting me!
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — I swear I’m not! Look at him! His pupils are dilated, his heartbeat quickened, his palms got sweaty under his leather gloves…
SUGGESTION — Does that mean Kim wants to have fuck with us?!
INLAND EMPIRE — In any case, he likes seeing us wearing that necktie. It’s something *he* created, which bears his signature color… In a way, he just marked us. Everyone at the precinct, random people in the streets of Revachol, apprehended suspects… They’ll see the flash of bright orange matching your partner’s jacket. Two intertwined souls.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — Hold on. Are you all seriously condoning this feminine behavior? Harry is NOT a f****t. Why are you convinced he suddenly is now?
VOLITION — Come on. Even you cannot be so dense.
LOGIC — Imprinting onto him like a lost little duckling…
COMPOSURE — Dedicating him that one song back in Martinaise, in the hope of making him smile…
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Doesn't matter if Kim's a girl or not, he's sexy and makes our GABA receptors all fluttery anyway!
ENCYCLOPEDIA — Bisexuality refers to the act of being sexually or romantically attracted to people of your own gender and people of a different gender.
AUTHORITY — I have to agree with Coach Physical Instrument there. Crushes are unbecoming of a man of the law. Also, Harry can't possibly be enamoured with someone who's his inferior but still bosses him around like this.
PAIN THRESHOLD — But I like to be bossed around...
ESPRIT DE CORPS — Me too...
VOLITON — You again??
ESPRIT DE CORPS — Getting bossed around by a policeman as great as Lieutenant Kitsuragi is an honor.
HALF-LIGHT — He makes us feel safe.
SHIVERS — HE WILL HELP SAVE ME.
ENDURANCE — He's our half-bröther.
ESPRIT DE CORPS — Do NOT steal my line.
RHETORIC — Wow, even the fascist agrees! You're clearly outnumbered, coach.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT — ...
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Suck it. Our Harry is so clearly into Lieutenant Kim, and the feeling’s mutual. Always knew that *bicep girth* comment wasn’t innocuous at all!
YOU — You guys know I can still hear you, right?
ELECTROCHEMISTRY — Yeah we know. And we also know you have a big fat crush on your lieutenant and that you like the thought of belonging to him, you little freak.
Thought gained: The Kitsuragi Love Machine
Problem: Since you apparently hadn't had enough with loving a beautiful, inaccessible woman who broke your heart, you've decided to develop feelings for a beautiful, inaccessible man who will probably do the same. Good going, buddy. Too bad you can’t stop thinking about him. It’s downright embarrassing. You need to do something about it, or yourself. The sooner the better.
-3 Authority: Too old for this shit
-1 difficult to all Psyche checks if Miss Orange Necktie is equipped on
Well. That sure was a productive moment, but both you and Kim will risk overextending your lunch break if you keep lounging around.
KIM KITSURAGI — As if on cue, Kim forces his gaze away from your neck to check his wristwatch. He winces, not even bothering to hide his disappointment. He wouldn’t mind staying a bit longer at the cafe, sharing stories with you, but duty awaits. “We should head back, detective. Wouldn’t want Jean to find an excuse to chew you out again,” he smirks.
YOU — “I wouldn’t dream of it”, you answer, trying your damndest to act and sound natural despite the many non-heterosexual thoughts racing through your mind. “Lead the way.”
You can’t quite tell if the Lieutenant’s oblivious to your now-pink face or your slightly dazed expression, or if he’s just graceful enough not to question it. You both leave the cafe together—and if you’re walking unnecessarily too close to each other as you walk back to the precinct, well, that’s no one’s business but yours.
RHETORIC — It was obviously the second option, by the way.