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The Transformers: The Twelve Days of Christmas

Summary:

When you want to write a nice, simple parody with your favorite robots in disguise, but the robots in question have other ideas.

Work Text:

On the first day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

A Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  Cool!

On the second day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Two Lambo twins,

Sideswipe:  Ha, we made the first five verses!

Sunstreaker:  Too bad we didn't get first.

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  I wonder how he knew...

On the third day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Three Seeker jets,

Starscream:  Yes!  I was mentioned before Megatron!

Skywarp:  Don't get too excited, Screamer.

Thundercracker:  Yeah, this is only the third verse.  We still got nine more to go.

Two Lambo twins,

Sideswipe:  I'm bored.

Sunstreaker:  You, too?

Sideswipe:  Yeah.  Whaddya wanna do?

Sunstreaker:  Dunno.

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  *polishing the Matrix*

On the fourth day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Four Insecticons,

Kickback:  I can't believe we made the first five verses.

Bombshell:  Yeah, I didn't have to use my cerebro-shell on the author.

Venom:  Why am I even here?  I never even appeared on this show.

Shrapnel:  Maybe the author likes you, you...

Three Seeker jets,

Skywarp:  So far, us and the Insecticons have been the only Decepticons mentioned.

Starscream:  And so far, no sign of Megatron.

Thundercracker:  Maybe not Megatron, but I see the Autobot twins were mentioned a verse before us.

Starscream:  Let's pay them a visit.

Two Lambo twins,

*The Seekers open fire on the twins*

Sideswipe:  Hey!  What're you three doing here?

Sunstreaker:  Yeah, this is our verse!  Get back to your own!

*The twins return fire*

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  *looks up from polishing the Matrix* Did I just hear gunfire?

On the fifth day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Five Dinobots,

Swoop:  Yay!  Us, Dinobots, mentioned!

Grimlock:  What did you, Swoop, expect?

Slag:  Me, Slag, not have to smash anything.

Snarl:  Me, Snarl, not care less.

Sludge:  What else new?

Snarl:  *glares at Sludge*

Four Insecticons,

Kickback:  I'm hungry.

Bombshell:  Me, too.

Venom:  So am I.

Shrapnel:  Fine, let's find something to eat, eat...

Three Seeker jets,

*The Seekers dodge the gunfire*

Skywarp:  You gotta do better than that, Autobots!

Starscream:  And here I thought you two were some of their best warriors.

Thundercracker:  Maybe we were wrong.

*All three continue shooting*

Two Lambo twins,

Sunstreaker:  Oh, I know he did NOT just diss us.

Sideswipe:  I believe he did.  Care for a bit of jet judo?

Sunstreaker:  You knock 'em down and I'll take it from there.

*Sideswipe powers up his jetpack and shoots off*

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  Are the twins practicing again?  I better check on them.

*He transforms and drives toward the battlefield*

On the sixth day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Six gestalts merging,

Hook:  Why are we here again?

Motormaster:  Don't ask me.

Razorclaw:  I still think this is a waste of time.

Onslaught:  Razorclaw, everything's a waste of time to you.

Hot Spot:  Are we in the right place?

Silverbolt:  I think.

*The six gestalt teams spot each other*

Constructicons/Combaticons/Stunticons/Predacons:  Autobots!

Protectobots/Aerialbots:  Decepticons!

Scrapper:  Why are you here?

Slingshot:  What's it to ya?

Dead End:  I knew this was a bad idea.

Five Dinobots,

Grimlock:  What are we, Dinobots, supposed to be doing?

Sludge:  Me, Sludge, don't know.

Slag:  Me, Slag, want to smash something.

Swoop:  Me, Swoop, fly around.

*The little Dinobot flies off*

Snarl:  Whatever.

Four Insecticons,

*The Insecticons are now in a wheat field, eating the grain*

Venom:  Ah, this is much better.

Bombshell:  Agreed.

Kickback:  *sees Swoop fly by* Isn’t that one of the Dinobots?

Shrapnel:  Yes.  The Autobots may be planning something, something...

Venom:  I'll go after him.

*Venom transforms and flies after Swoop*

Three Seeker jets,

Thundercracker:  Hey, something's wrong.

Starscream:  He's right.  Sideswipe's gone.

Sideswipe:  I'm right here!  *lands on top of Thundercracker*

Thundercracker:  *flying erratically in an attempt to shake the Autobot* Get 'im off!  Get 'im off!  Get 'im off!

Skywarp:  *materializes above Thundercracker and kicks Sideswipe off him* As you told us in the fourth verse, get back to your own line!

Two Lambo twins,

*Sideswipe falls in front of Sunstreaker*

Sunstreaker:  Oh, real smooth, bro!

Sideswipe:  Shut up!

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  *arriving where the twins are* So I was right.

*He sees the Seekers*

Optimus:  Having trouble with your jet judo again?

Sideswipe:  *gingerly gets off the ground* Whatever gave you that idea?

Optimus:  *grinning behind his mask* Just a hunch.

On the seventh day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Seven cassettes spying,

*Rumble, Frenzy, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, and Ravage are sneaking through the Ark*

Rumble:  Are you sure we should be here without Soundwave?

Frenzy:  Relax, the Ark's completely empty.  What could go wrong?

*Eject and Rewind appear from behind a console*

Eject:  Many things.

Ravage:  *growls*

Rumble:  Oh great, it's the cassettebots.

Laserbeak/Buzzsaw:  *squawk in anger*

Frenzy:  You're wasting your time fighting us.

Rumble:  Yeah, we got you outnumbered five to two.

Rewind:  We can take you.

Frenzy:  Oh really?  Let's see ya prove it.

Eject:  Gladly.

*The cassettes started firing at each other*

Six gestalts merging,

Long Haul:  Why are you even here?

Air Raid:  The same reason you are.

Vortex:  There is no way I'm gonna share a line with Autobots.

Skydive:  Well, we don't want to spend one with Decepticons, either.

Hook:  Let's settle this with battle.

Streetwise:  Sounds good to us.

Five Dinobots,

Sludge:  Swoop been gone for a while.

Grimlock:  You, Sludge, make a point.

Slag:  Let's find him and smash things.

Snarl:  Maybe we should wait until Swoop call.

Grimlock:  Yes.  We wait until Swoop call.

Four Insecticons,

*Kickback, Shrapnel, and Bombshell are still eating*

Kickback:  Delicious.

Bombshell:  I agree.

Shrapnel:  Shouldn't Venom be back by now, now...?

Kickback:  Ah, he'll be fine.  He'll radio us if he needs anything.

Three Seeker jets,

Thundercracker:  Thanks, Skywarp.

Skywarp:  You owe me for that.

Thundercracker:  Yeah, yeah.

Starscream:  The Autobots still function.  Let's get them.

*The three dive-bomb the twins and Optimus*

Two Lambo twins,

Sunstreaker:  You okay, Sides?

Sideswipe:  I'll live.

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  *sees the Seekers* Incoming!

On the eighth day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Eight Minibots sneaking,

*A group of Minibots are sneaking around the space bridge*

Gears:  Whose idea was this again?

Brawn:  Bumblebee.

Huffer:  Figures.

Bumblebee:  Hey, the only reason we're here is because Cosmos spotted Shockwave come through.

Powerglide:  Well, he doesn't seem to be here now.

Beachcomber:  If Megatron did call Shockwave, there could be trouble.

Bumblebee:  Exactly.  We'll stay put until Prime tells us to come back.

Seven cassettes spying,

*The cassetticons and the cassettebots are still fighting*

*Eject is riding Ravage like a cowboy, while the cassetticon is trying to buck him off*

Eject:  Yeehaw!!

Rewind:  Eject, this is no time to play!

Eject:  Fine.

*He jumps off just as Ravage slams into a wall*

*Ravage, in a fury, starts to chase Eject*

Frenzy:  Go, Ravage!

Rumble:  Yeah, show that 'Bot why he shouldn't mess with us!

Laserbeak/Buzzsaw:  *squawk in agreement*

Eject:  Rewind, a bit of help here!

Rewind:  Coming!

*Rewind commences to chase after Ravage*

Six gestalts merging,

Hook:  Constructicons, merge to form Devastator!

Onslaught:  Combaticons, merge to form Bruticus!

Hot Spot:  Protectobots, merge to form Defensor!

Motormaster:  Stunticons, merge to form Menasor!

Razorclaw:  Predacons, merge to form Predaking!

Silverbolt:  Aerialbots, merge to form Superion!

*The six teams merge to form their respective gestalts*

Devastator:  Let's settle this!

Superion:  Let's!

Five Dinobots,

*Swoop finally notices Venom following*

Swoop:  Insecticon!

Venom:  My, you're observant.

Swoop:  *opens his communicator* Dinobots!  Insecticon spotted!  Need help!

*Back with the other Dinobots*

Grimlock:  Me, Grimlock, hear Swoop.  Be there soon.

*He turns to the other Dinobots*

Grimlock:  Dinobots, Swoop spotted Insecticon!  Get ready for battle!

Slag:  Finally!  Me, Slag, get to smash something!

*The four Dinobots transform and charge off*

Four Insecticons,

Venom:  *also opens his communicator* Insecticons!  The Dinobot has called for reinforcements!  Get to my location now!

Shrapnel:  Understood.  Be there soon, soon...

*He looks at Bombshell and Kickback*

Shrapnel:  Insecticons!  Move out, out...

*The three transform and fly off*

Three Seeker jets,

Starscream:  *firing wildly* Fall, Autobots, fall!

Optimus:  *firing back* Not today, Starscream!

Skywarp:  We'll see about that!

*He disappears and reappears behind Optimus*

Two Lambo twins,

*Skywarp starts to fire, but is knocked away by Sideswipe*

Optimus:  Thanks Sideswipe.

Sideswipe:  Don't mention it.

Sunstreaker:  *notices Skywarp getting back up* It ain't over yet, guys!

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  Keep it up!

*The three continue firing at the Seekers*

On the ninth day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Nine plans a-scheming,

*Back at the Nemesis, the remaining Decepticons are gathered*

Megatron:  Once Prime goes down, the Matrix will be mine for the taking.

Shockwave:  Why did you summon me?  Aren't the ones you have now enough?

Megatron:  If they get the Dinobots involved, we'll need the extra power.  Soundwave, where are the cassettes?

Soundwave:  Cassettes: spying at the Ark.

Megatron:  What about the Seekers?

Spectro:  Flying around somewhere.

Spyglass:  The Insecticons vanished as well.

Viewfinder:  Haven't seen the gestalts for a while either.

Megatron:  Well, get them back here!  We'll need everyone we got to pull this off.

Eight Minibots sneaking,

Cliffjumper:  This is boring.

Powerglide:  No kidding.

Huffer:  Can we go now?  There's nothing happening.

Bumblebee:  Fine, let's go.

*The Minibots head back to the Ark*

Seven cassettes spying,

*The battle between the cassettes now looks like some depraved version of follow-the-leader*

*Ravage is still chasing Eject, Ravage is being chased by Rewind, and Rewind is being chased by the other cassetticons*

*Suddenly, Soundwave's voice comes over Rumble's communicator*

Soundwave:  Cassettes: report back now.  Orders: from Megatron.

Frenzy:  Aww, I was having fun.

Buzzsaw/Laserbeak:  *squawk in disappointment*

Rumble:  We'll be back!

*The five cassetticons head back to the Nemesis*

Eject:  That was odd.

Rewind:  No kidding.  Wonder why Megatron wanted them back.

Six gestalts merging,

*The six gestalts are about to start fighting, when Megatron radios Devastator*

Megatron:  Constructicons, Combaticons, Stunticons, Predacons, get back here now!

Devastator:  Yes, Megatron.

Predaking:  You, Autobots, lucked out.  You won't be so lucky the next time we meet.

*The four gestalts disassemble and head back to the Nemesis*

*The remaining gestalts disassemble*

Blades:  Wonder why Megatron wanted them back so quick.

Silverbolt:  With Megatron, there's no telling.

Five Dinobots,

*The Dinobots and Insecticons arrive at the same time*

Grimlock:  We, Dinobots, smash you.

Kickback:  Oh yeah?  Bring it!

*The two groups start fighting*

Four Insecticons,

*Just as the fight intensifies, Shrapnel gets a call from Megatron*

Megatron:  Shrapnel!  Get yourself and the other Insecticons back here right now!

Shrapnel:  Yes, Megatron.  You heard him, boys.  Let's go, go...

Bombshell:  Aww, and I was just getting into it.

*The Insecticons fly off*

Swoop:  That was strange.

Sludge:  Megatron up to something.

Three Seeker jets,

*The three Seekers are about to make another pass at the Autobots, when they get a call as well*

Megatron:  Starscream, Skywarp, Thundercracker, get back here now!

Starscream:  Why?  We got three of the Autobots where we want them.

Megatron:  Don't question me, Starscream!

Skywarp:  Better listen to him.

Thundercracker:  You just got lucky, Autobots.

*The three Seekers jet into the distance*

Two Lambo twins,

Sideswipe:  Weird.

Sunstreaker:  Why would Megatron want them back that quick?

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  Trouble, no doubt.  I'd better call the others.

On the tenth day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Ten 'Bots a-rolling,

*The other 'Bots are driving down a random highway*

Jazz:  Ahh, this is the life.

Hound:  No Decepticons and no one shooting at us.

Red Alert:  We should've left someone at the Ark.  There's no telling what the Decepticons are planning.

Wheeljack:  Relax.  You needed this outing more than any of us.

Ironhide:  He's right.

*Prowl then gets Optimus's call*

Optimus:  Prowl, I need you to get to our location now.  The Decepticons are up to something.

Red Alert:  See?  I told you!

Prowl:  We'll be there as soon as we can.  Autobots, let's roll.

All Autobots:  Yes, sir.

Prowl:  Blaster, get in contact with your cassettes.

Blaster:  Will do, Prowl.

*The convoy speeds off down the highway*

Nine plans a-scheming,

*By now, all the 'Cons are back at the Nemesis*

Shockwave:  So what is your plan, Megatron?

Megatron:  We're going to hit the Autobots with everything we got.

Rumble:  *whispering to Frenzy* Oh yeah, like that's a new plan.

Megatron:  *glaring at the little cassette* What was that?

Rumble:  Nothin'!

Megatron:  Alright!  Decepticons, to battle!

*All Decepticons leave the ship*

Eight Minibots sneaking,

*The Minibots are now en route back to the Ark*

Gears:  Well, that was a merry waste of time.

Cosmos:  At least it got us out of the Ark.

Cliffjumper:  I was hoping there'd be some Decepticons to trash.

*Optimus then radios Bumblebee*

Bumblebee:  I'm here, Prime.

Optimus:  Bumblebee, I need you and the other Minibots to come to our location now.

Bumblebee:  What's up?

Optimus:  The Decepticons are up to something.

Bumblebee:  We're on our way, Prime.  Over and out.

Huffer:  Well, it looks like you got your wish, Cliffjumper.

Cliffjumper:  Finally!  Some action!

*The Minibots speed off*

Seven cassettes spying,

Eject:  Well, now the 'Cons are gone, what do we do now?

Rewind:  Beats me.

*Blaster then contacts them*

Blaster:  Rewind, Eject, get to our location on the double.  The 'Cons are up to something.

Rewind:  We're coming.  Ready to kick some Decepticon keister?

Eject:  Let's.

*The two cassettes run off*

Six gestalts merging,

Silverbolt:  Strange, I wonder why Megatron recalled his combiners all of a sudden.  Very strange indeed.

First Aid:  You're right.  It's weird.

*Optimus radios Silverbolt*

Optimus:  Silverbolt, are you there?

Silverbolt:  I'm here, Prime.

Optimus:  Are the Aerialbots and Protectobots with you?

Hot Spot:  We're here as well.

Optimus:  Good.  I need you all to come to my location now.

Silverbolt:  Is it the Decepticons?

Optimus:  I'm afraid so.

Silverbolt:  We're on our way.  Over and out.

Hot Spot:  You heard the commander.  Let's move.

*The remaining gestalt teams speed or fly off*

Five Dinobots,

Swoop:  Wonder why Insections fly off so soon.

Grimlock:  Insecticons must be afraid of us, Dinobots.

*Grimlock picks up Optimus's call*

Grimlock:  What you want?

Optimus:  Grimlock, I need you to come to my location now.

Grimlock:  What for?

Optimus:  Decepticons.

Grimlock:  That all me, Grimlock, need to hear.  Dinobots, let's go smash Decepticons!

Slag:  About time!

Snarl:  Whatever.

*The Dinobots transform and run off*

Four Insecticons,

*The Insecticons are hanging out at the back of the pack of Decepticons*

Kickback:  Do you think this plan will work?

Bombshell:  Have any of Megatron's plans worked?

Kickback:  Good point.

Venom:  Keep it down.  I don't feel like getting slagged today.

Three Seeker jets,

*The Seekers are flying in a triangle formation behind Megatron*

Thundercracker:  Man, this is boring.

Starscream:  We'd better get a good fight out of this.  We had Optimus right where we wanted him.

Skywarp:  Think of it this way, Screamer.  You can take your frustrations out on the Autobots.

Starscream:  *chuckles sadistically* Very true, Skywarp.

Two Lambo twins,

Sideswipe:  I hope the others get here soon.

Sunstreaker:  I really hope this won't mess up my paintjob.  I just got it waxed yesterday.

And a Matrix of Leadership

Optimus:  *sees the pack of Decepticons* They’re here!

On the eleventh day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Eleven 'Cons a-flying,

Megatron:  There he is!  Attack!

*All Decepticons open fire*

Optimus:  Get down!

*He and the twins jump behind some rocks and return fire*

Sideswipe:  We could use a little help here.

Optimus:  The others are supposed to be on their way.

*Suddenly, Kickback flies behind Optimus and gives him a powerful kick*

*The Matrix flies out and into Laserbeak and Buzzsaw's waiting talons*

Sunstreaker:  Hey!  That was a cheap shot!

*The condors drop the Matrix into Megatron's grasp*

Megatron:  Excellent!  The Matrix is mine!

*Optimus glares at Megatron*

Optimus:  No one, and I mean no one, takes my Matrix.

*He tackles Megatron*

Ten 'Bots a-rolling,

*A sudden barrage of gunfire erupts from nowhere*

Jazz:  Hey, guys!  The cavalry's here!

Sunstreaker:  About slaggin' time!

Prowl:  We came as fast as we could.  Where's Optimus?

Sideswipe:  Wrestling with Megatron over the Matrix.

Ironhide:  Let's blast these 'Cons to the Pit.

Ratchet:  *begins setting up a mobile field base*

Wheeljack:  You think it's gonna get that bad?

Ratchet:  It always does.

Prowl:  Autobots, open fire!

Nine plans a-scheming,

Spyglass:  Finally, we get to fight.

Shockwave:  We're not here for fun.  We're here to get a job done.

Viewfinder:  You don't have to be so uptight.

Eight Minibots sneaking,

*The Minibots arrive minutes later*

Cliffjumper:  Woohoo!  Finally, I get to slag some Decepticons!

Prowl:  Where have you been?

Bumblebee:  At the space bridge.  Shockwave came through it.

Ironhide:  I thought I saw that cyclops around here.

Brawn:  Well, what are we waiting for?  Let's start smashing!

*The Minibots start firing*

Seven cassettes spying,

*Eject and Rewind finally arrive*

Blaster:  Glad you could make it.

Eject:  Sorry.  We ran into Soundwave's posse.

*Rumble sees them*

Rumble:  Oh great!  They're here.

Rewind:  Well, well, well, if it isn't the punks?

Frenzy:  We'll show you who the punks are!

*All seven cassettes start brawling*

Six gestalts merging,

*The Decepticon gestalts have all merged*

Menasor:  Die, Autobots!

*He attempts to stomp on Inferno, but is knocked over by Superion*

Superion:  Forget about us?

Bruticus:  How could we?

Superion:  Let's finish this.

Devastator:  I couldn't agree more.

*The gestalts break off from the group and start their own private wrestling match*

Five Dinobots,

*The Dinobots finally arrive*

Slag:  Aw, the fight's already started.

Grimlock:  It not matter.  There still Decepticons to smash.

Swoop:  Hey!  There the Insecticons.

Four Insecticons,

Venom:  *sees the Dinobots* Oh slag!  The Dinobots here.

Bombshell:  We can take 'em!

Shrapnel:  Prepare for extermination, extermination...

*The Dinobots and Insecticons started fighting*

Three Seeker jets,

*The Seekers have returned to fighting the twins*

Starscream:  Let's pick up where we left off.

Skywarp:  I think we were about to annihilate them.  Right, TC?

Thundercracker:  I believe you're right.

Two Lambo twins,

*The twins take turns swatting the Seekers away*

Sunstreaker:  This is getting us nowhere.

Sideswipe:  No kidding.

*A light bulb appears over his head*

Sideswipe:  I've got it.  Let's split 'em up.  You go that way and I'll go this way.

Sunstreaker:  It better not mess up my paint!

*The two transform and speed off in opposite directions.  Skywarp and Thundercracker fly after Sideswipe and Starscream flies after Sunstreaker*

And a Matrix of Leadership

*Optimus and Megatron are engaged in a tug-of-war over the Matrix*

Megatron:  Give it up, Prime!  The Matrix is mine!

Optimus:  Never!  The Matrix belongs to me and you know it!

*The two continue their struggle*

On the twelfth day of Christmas

Vector Sigma gave to me

Twelve guns a-blazing,

*By now, all of the Autobots and Decepticons have broken off into small groups*

*Soundwave and Blaster are firing at each other*

Blaster:  You think you can beat me?

Soundwave:  Soundwave: superior!  Autobot: inferior!

Blaster:  I'll show you inferior!

*He tackles Soundwave to the ground and the two communications officers start throwing punches*

Eleven 'Cons a-flying,

*Shockwave has shifted into gun mode and started firing at the Autobots.  Spyglass, Viewfinder, and Spectro are nearby firing as well*

Shockwave:  Declaration: this day, you will all die.

*He continues firing*

Ten 'Bots a-rolling,

Prowl:  I think not.

*The Autobots all converge on the Decepticons with the fury of a thousand burning stars*

*Shockwave transforms back and the four Decepticons start running, occasionally turning around to fire*

Nine plans a-scheming,

Bluestreak:  Running away?

Wheeljack:  Guess they're not as eager to fight as they made us think.

Spyglass:  That's what you think, Autobots.

*They then notice that they're heading straight toward Soundwave and Blaster*

*They quickly try to stop before they run into them, and manage to succeed*

*The Autobots, however, do not and collide into Shockwave*

*All are thrust forward into the two communications officers' fight and a larger brawl breaks out*

Eight Minibots sneaking,

*The Minibots see the others in a brawl, and turn to Bumblebee*

*Bumblebee shrugs*

Cliffjumper:  Yahoo!

*The Minibots jump into the fray*

Seven cassettes spying,

*The cassettes all see their respective carriers go down under the Autobots*

Rumble:  Soundwave's in trouble!

Eject:  So is Blaster!

*The cassetticons and cassettebots look at each other*

Frenzy:  Bet we get there first!

*The cassetticons run toward the fight*

Rewind:  You're on!

*The cassettebots follow and all seven jump in without a second thought*

Six gestalts merging,

*The six gestalts are still going at it*

Predaking:  Give it up!  

Menasor:  You're outnumbered!

Superion:  Autobots never give up!

*While the six are exchanging blows and gunfire, they don't realize that they're getting closer and closer to where the others are fighting*

*The six stumble into the fray and go down in a flurry of shouts and curses*

Five Dinobots,

*The Dinobots and Insecticons are still going at it*

*Grimlock swipes at Shrapnel with his large tail*

*Shrapnel barely flies out of the way*

Slag:  *trying to ram Bombshell* Hold still!

Bombshell:  Not a chance, Dinobot!

Four Insecticons,

*Venom and Kickback are frantically trying to dodge the advances of Sludge, Swoop, and Snarl*

*Shrapnel notices the larger fight*

Shrapnel:  Insecticons, lead them over there.  We'll lose them in the fray, fray...

Kickback:  Gladly.

*The four Insecticons jump into the melee, the Dinobots following close behind*

*By now, everyone minus the twins, the Seekers, and the commanders are engaged in the biggest melee ever seen*

*Many shouts can be heard and many curses are being thrown*

Rumble:  *yelps in pain* Watch where you stick that thing, Shockwave!

Prowl:  *also yelps* Jazz!

Jazz:  Sorry, Prowl.

Three Seeker jets,

*Skywarp and Thundercracker are still tailing Sideswipe*

Skywarp:  The twins are actually using strategy?

Thundercracker:  Never thought I'd see the day.

*Meanwhile, Starscream is still chasing Sunstreaker*

Starscream:  Get back here!

Sunstreaker:  Not a chance, Starscream!

*Starscream mutters some choice words and continues his pursuit*

Two Lambo twins,

*Sideswipe contacts Sunstreaker*

Sideswipe:  Ready?

Sunstreaker:  I was born ready!

*The two make a sudden U-turn and head toward each other, the Seekers still on their bumpers*

*The twins are now on a collision course with each other*

Sideswipe:  *thinking* Almost...just a little further...

Sunstreaker:  *thinking* Wait for it...wait for it...

*They get three feet apart*

Sideswipe:  NOW!!

*The twins quickly swerve to the left*

*The Seekers don't have time to brake and crash into each other*

Sideswipe:  YESSSSS!!  It worked!

Sunstreaker:  I didn't think you'd be able to pull it off.

*The twins don't notice they're heading straight towards the commanders until it's too late*

Sunstreaker:  Oh slag...

*The two collide with the commanders and the Matrix is sent flying again.  It falls a few feet away and all fighting ceases*

*Every head snaps toward the Matrix*

*A moment passes, then every Transformer, Autobot and Deception, descend on the Matrix like vultures on a carcass*

And a Matrix of Leadership

*The pile of Transformers doesn't move for a moment*

*Optimus then emerges triumphantly, Matrix in hand*

Optimus:  Like I said, no one takes my Matrix.