Chapter Text
SMG4 glanced at his monitor for the time. 9:43 PM. Should probably get ready now. SMG4 stood up from his desk, stretching his arms over his head. He let out a soft groan, turning his head towards his closet. He threw the doors open, sifting through the various clothes before finding a simple, short sleeve blue button down and white baggy jeans.
The gang had decided to go out for the new years, since they kinda always hung out at the castle for pretty much every major holiday. Apparently, Bob knew a guy that owned a bar somewhere near the outskirts of the Mushroom Kingdom. Definitely doesn't sound suspicious at all. But Bob claims the drinks and snacks aren't that bad there, and there's a TV to watch the countdown, so at least that's something. After getting dressed, SMG4 grabbed his wallet and keys. He patted Beeg SMG4 on the head goodbye and headed out the door. SMG4 glanced at his phone, double checking the address Bob had sent to the group chat. "The hell kind of name for a bar is the Fish Bone?" He muttered under his breath.
***
The streets were quiet. Made sense with how isolated this area felt. SMG4 always appreciated these kinds of nights. The kind where the gentle, cooling breeze brushes against his face. The wind softly rustled the evergreen trees, since all the leaves fell off other trees. He took a breath of the fresh air, sighing contently. Not only were the streets quiet, but empty too. Maybe people were all staying in or having parties or something. That was good for SMG4's part, meaning he can drive his forklift through the road with ease. He turned right on the upcoming street, spotting the flashing, cartoon fish bone sign on the awning of the bar. Some of the crew's cars were parked on the side of the road, so SMG4 followed suit. It was a miracle he's able to parallel park with a forklift.
SMG4 walked inside, greeted by the rowdy, generic pop music playing from the bar's speakers. The place was actually kind of nice, even if it was a bit small compared to most bars in the Mushroom Kingdom. The left side of the bar held a pool table, with those elevated chairs placed along a table along the wall. The right side was built as a makeshift dance floor, complete with a large speaker playing that annoyingly catchy music. Booths with the classic red leather situated along the wall for ideal space within the bar. "Damn," SMG4 whispered. "Bob outdid himself with this place.."
"SMG4! Over here!"
SMG4's eyes flicked towards the voice. An excited Tari sat in a booth nearby, with Saiko sitting beside her. SMG4 smiled, making his way over. "Hey guys, how's it going?" He greeted, sliding into the seat across from the two. "It's been good! We're glad you could make it." Tari replied, fidgeting with buttons of her sweater. It was her and Meggy's idea for everyone to dress up a little since it was a special occasion. Tari sported a wooly, dark blue button up sweater. "You were the last one to show, actually." Saiko comments, taking a sip of her drink. She actually let her multi-coloured hair down for once, and dressed in a simple black blouse and skort. SMG4 tilted his head. "Really?" Saiko nodded. "We thought you were caught up with making videos until we remembered." She and Tari chuckled light heartedly. SMG4 joined in on the laughter, though it had a somber undertone. "How do you feel, actually?" Tari spoke up. "With, ending your channel, I mean." SMG4 pursed his lips, tapping his fingers against the table. "Honestly? Kinda numb." Saiko and Tari exchanged a glance. SMG4 let out a quiet chuckle. "I know, weird, right?" He said, straightening his posture in his seat. He folded his hands together. "I've been on this.. grind for a while now, working so much. Barely leaving my room and struggling to deal with less than perfect results after pouring hours, even days of my time into videos." He explained, his fingers moving to trace the patterns in the wooden table. "I've been on the grind for so long, and.. now that it's over.. I can't help but feel a little, hollow, y'know?" Tari nodded intently. "Oh, I know exactly how you feel, SMG4," she adds on. "I felt completely empty when I finished Silent Hill F. It was a great game, though." SMG4 raised an eyebrow.
"I thought you don't like horror?"
"Horror movies I don't like, but I don't mind horror games all that much anymore!"
"And hey, think of it this way," Saiko spoke up. "You can apply that sort of grind style energy into other things. Maybe getting a real job now that you're retired?" She quipped. SMG4 rolled his eyes fondly. "Okay, first of all, fuck you." He began, his words earning a chuckle from Saiko and Tari. "And second of all, I've been doing that shit for fourteen and a half years, I deserve to lay on my ass for a few weeks." Saiko put her hands up in mock defence. "Alright well don't start yet. You mind bringing drinks around for everyone? Last one here and all." She requested. SMG4 snickered, but he got up. “Alright, alright. Who’re the designated drivers, though?” He inquired. “Oh, Luigi, Mario and I are!” Tari replied, gesturing to herself. SMG4 raised an eyebrow, though he didn’t bother to comment.
SMG4 arrived at the bar, he leaned against the counter with his hand propping up his head. His eyes scanned the menu, trying to remember everyone’s drink preferences. “Happy new year, SMG4.” A voice speaks up, snapping him out of this thought process. “Oh, Karen. Happy new year.” He greeted Karen warmly. Karen sported those cheesy new year glasses, the shape of the glasses were obviously 2026. “I didn’t know you worked tonight. I thought you’d be with the kids?” SMG4 comments. Karen shrugged, drying a wet glass with a small towel. “Eh, they’re with a babysitter right now. Plus, my shift’ll end in…” She glanced at the clock behind the bar. “..Fifteen minutes anyway, so I’ll make it in time for the countdown.” Karen turned her attention back to SMG4. “So what can I get you? It’ll make my shift go by faster.” SMG4 blinked rapidly, remembering why he was there. “Oh right, uh let’s see..” He glanced back at the menu. “Okay, can I get… a whisky sour, a gin and tonic, a margarita, jack and coke - hold the jack and uh.. I guess four waters?” Karen nodded, setting the now dry glass down. “Comin’ right up.” She quickly busied herself, prepping the various cocktails and grabbing the coke and waters from the minifridge located under the bar. SMG4 reached for his wallet when Karen’s voice cut through. “Nah, it’s on the house.” SMG4’s eyes widened slightly.
“Oh, Karen, really you don’t need to–”
“I insist.”
“Well, thank you.”
SMG4 put his wallet away, and perfect timing since all the drinks were done. “Cheers!” He said, grabbing all the drinks and turning to make the deliveries. He prayed no one would bump into him since he had a good system in place. All the waters and the coke were held by his arm to his chest while he carefully held the cocktails in each hand. Not to mention even though this bar was definitely shady as well, it was pretty packed tonight. He made his first round of deliveries by heading back to the booth Tari and Saiko were resting at. “Here ya guys go.” SMG4 slid the gin and tonic in front of Saiko, while handing Tari the water bottle. They thanked him and he continued on. He headed towards the pool table area since he saw a familiar collection of red and orange there earlier.
“Happy new year, guys.” SMG4 greeted Mario and Meggy. Meggy dressed in a white button down with a wooly black vest over it, plus some jeans. Mario kept his iconic look, but he sported a black clip on tie to adhere to the dress code. “Happy new year, SMG4.” Meggy greeted warmly, accepting the whisky sour that was handed to her. She took a swig and set the drink down on the pool table. SMG4 manoeuvred behind Meggy as she lined up her shot. “Happy new year!” Mario beamed, arms outstretched for a hug. SMG4 chuckled awkwardly, taking a half step back. “Maybe when I’m not carrying drinks, we can hug.” The two shared a small laugh, and SMG4 handed Mario a water bottle. “So, you’re a designated driver? How’d that happen?” SMG4 inquired with an arched brow. Mario shrugged, ripping the cap off the water bottle and taking a huge gulp. “Eh, Mario wanted to give Meggy a chance to let loose for once, since it’s usually the other way around.”
SMG4 nodded intently. “Yeah, makes sense. She’s more responsible than you.” Mario chuckled. “You gonna have-a something tonight?” SMG4 shook his head. “Nah, don’t wanna risk drinking too much and having someone else drive me back to the show grounds,” he explained. Mario cocked his head.
“How come?”
“I took the forklift here.”
“Oh, that-a makes sense. You wouldn’t want it a-towed in the morning.”
“Or worse… risking my certification being revoked.”
“The horror.”
The two shared a small laugh. SMG4 opens his mouth to continue the conversation, but a loud roar cuts him off.
“Fuck yeah!” Meggy cheered, raising the pool cue over her head. “All solids, baby!” She then proceeded to bring the pool cue down on her knee, the bar echoed with a loud snap. SMG4 grimaced. “Mama mia..” Mario muttered to himself. “I should uh… finish handing these out.” SMG4 then turned on his heel and skedaddled away.
SMG4 looked around, scanning the sea of bodies. He shuffled past people, mumbling out quick apologies as he continued his search. The waters were cold against his skin - maybe he should’ve worn a long sleeve or something. Finally, SMG4 spotted some familiar faces and made his way over. “Hey, you guys need a refill?” He greeted, leaning against the wall. Luigi, Bob and Boopkins had been chilling at a table near the makeshift dancefloor, all wearing a black clip on tie. “Oh, Hi-a SMG4!” Luigi smiled, taking the water SMG4 handed to him. “Here ya guys go.” SMG4 muttered, the margarita to Bob and the coke for Boopkins. “Oh hell yeah!” Bob exclaimed. “I was craving this for real for real.” Bob carefully picked up the glass. Amazing how he didn’t drop it, since y’know, swords for hands and all. “I gotta say Bob, this place is pretty swanky.” SMG4 comments. “I told you I knew a guy. What, were you doubting me or something?” Bob questioned. SMG4 kissed his teeth, tilting his hand.
“You got me a coke?” Boopkins asked. “Yeah, I asked for a jack and coke but told ‘em to hold the jack.” SMG4 explained. Boopkins stared at the coke can before snickering. “Ohh, I get it!” He announced. SMG4 smiled, turning his attention to Luigi. “Melony couldn’t make it?” He asked. “Yes, apparently her book signing’s a-packed tonight.” Luigi reached for his phone, showing the text Melony had sent to the group chat just a few hours earlier. It read: “Happy new year guys! I cant make it tonight cuz of book signings! The line’s out the door but Ill make it next time!”
“Aw man, no drink for us?”
SMG4 turned, surprised to find SMG2 and SMG1 standing before. “Oh shit!” He exclaimed. “Sorry guys, if you had mentioned you were gonna be here, I would’ve–” SMG4's ramble was cut off by SMG1 chuckling. “Nah, we’re just messing with you, four. It’s actually a good thing you didn’t get us anything.” SMG4 raised an eyebrow. “What’didya mean?” He questioned. “Well, SMGs and alcohol don't mix very well..” SMG1 explained, with SMG2 nodding along. “Yeah! Since alcohol can lower inhibition, it can affect our powers to a great level, among other things, of course,” they elaborated further. “Well, at least none of us had anything to drink then, right?” SMG4 said in an optimistic tone. “Yeah, though we aren’t sure about three.” SMG1 admitted.
Speak of the purple clad devil. A hand suddenly slams against the wall, right next to SMG4’s head. His blue eyes meet with a familiar pair of red peepers. “Hey SMG4..” SMG3 drawled, a crooked smirk on his face. Immediately, there were a few things to point out. Firstly, SMG3 went all out for dressing up this evening. Black flared slacks hugged his legs firmly, a purple v-neck exposing a bit of chest hair and arm hair since SMG3 rolled the sleeves. And oh yeah, the very obnoxious scent of alcohol on his breath.
SMG4 cleared his throat awkwardly. “H-Hey man, you uh.. Having a good time?” He asked, turning his head slightly. SMG3 let out a low chuckle. “Of course man, though..” He trailed off, for a few seconds actually. SMG4 shot a glance at the others, before waving his hand in front of SMG3’s face. He blinked. “Sorry, thought I finished my sentence.” Yeah, this guy was drunk, alright. “Right..” said SMG4. “Anyway, ya wanna dance?” SMG3 requested, causing SMG4 to blink rapidly in shock.
“Sorry, huh?”
“Ya wanna dan–”
“I heard you, you dumb fuck.”
SMG1 cleared his throat. “Maybe you should keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t kill anyone or himself.” SMG4 rolled his eyes. “Why do I gotta be the one to do this?” SMG1 sighed. “Just do this, four.”
The radio shifts to a new radio channel, ironically the song Radio by Bershy began playing. SMG3’s glossy eyes lit up. “Oh hell yeah, I love this song!” He exclaimed, grabbing SMG4 and dragging — or more accurately, stumbling — him towards the makeshift dancefloor by the wrist. SMG4 winced as his wrist was finally released, watching as SMG3 immediately lost himself in the music. He jumped and slid around, rolling his shoulders to the beat and pumping his arms into the air. SMG3 would occasionally circle 4 around as he danced. “Come on SMG4.~” SMG3 dragged out, taking a hold of SMG4’s hands. “Dance with me..” He requested once more. SMG3 intertwined his fingers with SMG4’s, bringing his arms out and swaying them to the beat of the music. SMG4 pursed his lips, trying his best to fight the smile that threatened to form. It felt strange, seeing SMG3 in such a different light. He seemed more.. Carefree here. Eventually, SMG4 sighed in defeat. “Fuck it,” he muttered under his breath.
SMG4 tried keeping up, he really did. But it seemed SMG3 had a lot more energy when intoxicated. It was less of a slow dance and more of a quickstep, since SMG4 had to time it perfectly to avoid SMG3 stepping on his toes. As they danced, SMG3 somehow took the lead, as they began spinning around, with SMG3 laughing to his heart's content. It felt refreshing, seeing him like this. So full of life and energy. It made SMG4 let out a small chuckle. At some point, SMG3 let go of one of 4’s hands, letting his arm outstretch far past his head.
Bright blue orbs began forming from around the bar, and SMG4 only noticed them when they encircled him and 3. His smile faltered as the orbs grew in size. SMG4 looked around the bar. There weren’t any memes present, so how was this happening? The orbs suddenly shot out in all directions, bouncing off the walls of the bar. Some landed in people’s drinks, others made marks in the walls and ceiling. The blue energy fades away, and it reveals meme reaction images or formats. SMG4 arched his brow as he picked up one meme to examine it. He pulled out his phone, his eyes flicking from the meme and his phone. It looked familiar, a little too familiar. Scrolling through his camera app, SMG4 spotted the exact same meme he was currently holding. So SMGs can straight up just pull memes from people’s phones? It certainly was a powerful ability, but with the way it was used, it can also be very unstable.
A tall, burly and visibly balding man approached the two SMGs, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. “I don’t appreciate having my bar getting damaged by a couple of wizards.” He said, staring down the two. This must be the guy Bob claimed to know. SMG4 cleared his throat.
“Look, we’re sorry about all this. We’re with Bob and we—”
“I don’t give a shit who you’re with. This damage will be paid under your name, capishe?”
SMG4 pursed his lips. No use arguing with a guy that looked about twice his height and three times his weight. He reached for his wallet.
“Actually! I think not, my good sir.”
SMG4’s head spun around to SMG3, who stood between him and the guy. The guy raised an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?” he questions. “See, you said it’s your bar, correct?” The guy nodded. “Right! So technically speaking, anything that needs payment is coming from your bank account, under your name, no?” SMG3 raised a point, not a good one, obviously, but some kind of point nonetheless. “Also, I personally think you should use any kind of money you get from us, zero obviously but let’s pretend that’s not the case, on some good quality hair growth products. I mean, come on, you think I’m gonna listen to a guy that can’t grow hair in the two places I have?” SMG3 gestured to his hair and beard. For being drunk, he was strangely eloquent.
The guy instinctively reached for his bald head, and SMG4 couldn’t fight the chuckle under his breath. The guy glared daggers at him for it. “You’re right, this is my bar,” the guy spoke up, his tone dangerously low. “Which means I have the power here. So both of ya, get the hell out. You’re banned indefinitely.”
***
SMG4 made sure to graciously tip the uber driver as they dropped SMG3 off at the Showgrounds. After that announcement of being banned, SMG4 decided to get 3 an uber to bring him home. But after he remembered how unsteady on his feet SMG3 was, 4 decided to follow behind in his forklift. He might as well prevent SMG3 from killing himself in this state. “You good?” SMG4 asked, helping SMG3 up to his feet. “I feel like poo..” SMG3 muttered his response, clutching his head. “You’re probably gonna have one hell of a hangover then.” SMG4 wrapped SMG3’s arm around his neck, keeping a hand on SMG3’s waist for balance. SMG3 subconsciously leaned into the touch, which made it a little difficult to walk him towards the cafe.
SMG4 unlocked the cafe thanks to the keys in SMG3’s pocket. He carefully guided the drunk man through the collection of furniture to make it into the back area. “You remember how much you had to drink?” 4 asked, mostly out of curiosity as he pushed the button on the elevator. “Fuck.. I think.. Maybe like two Bloody Marys?” SMG3 groggily answered, letting his head rest on 4’s shoulders. SMG4 snickered. A third one would’ve been bad. He thought to himself.
SMG4 brought 3 down to his lair, bringing him over to his bed. “Alright, there ya go.” SMG4 said as he set the drunk man down. SMG4 took a couple steps back, keeping an eye on SMG3, who mostly sat very politely on the edge of his bed. SMG4 let out a soft exhale, stretching his arms over his head. His shirt rising up to reveal a small sliver of his stomach. SMG3 let out a low whistle at the sight. “Damn.. You should dress nicer more often..” He praised. SMG4 immediately brought his arms down, a light blush dusting his face. “What’s wrong with how I dress normally?” He coughed out. SMG3 shrugged. “I dunno, I get major Adam Sandler vibes from you,” he casually responded, as if he didn’t just metaphorically stab SMG4 in the heart.
SMG4 cleared his throat for probably the sixth time that night. He needs a lozenge. Maybe he can raid SMG3’s medicine cabinet for one after he falls asleep. “Okay, you need to rest. It’ll let the alcohol run through your system,” he instructed. SMG4 made the effort of helping SMG3 lie down fully on his bed. Satisfied with that, SMG4 turned to leave, but a hand shot out, gripping his arm tightly. “Wait..” SMG3 spoke up in a soft tone. “Stay with me.. Please?” SMG4 froze. He’s never heard 3’s voice go that soft before. He’s heard SMG3 speak to Eggdog in a gentle tone of reassurance, but this? It felt too soft, too gentle. From the look on 3’s face, it looked like his eyes were watering. SMG4 rubbed the back of his neck, sighing with defeat. “Okay.” He replied quietly. SMG4 moved to sit on the floor, his back resting against the bed. SMG3 army crawled closer, putting his arms around 4’s neck. SMG4 went ahead to stare at the most interesting floor tile he’s ever seen. This must be how it feels when a cat rests on you. You’re legally required to stay put. “Hey.. Look at me.” SMG3 requests. SMG4 shifted his body to be face to face with SMG3. They locked eyes, their breaths mixing together. SMG3’s gaze flicks from SMG4’s eyes, then his lips, then back at his eyes. His hand moved to cup SMG4’s cheek, and 4 felt his breath hitch in his throat. SMG3’s eyes flick down to 4’s lips again, and he made the effort to close the distance between them.
The feeling of SMG3’s lips on his own wasn’t unwelcome. But this wasn’t how SMG4 wanted it to go. Not like this. “Mnf– Three, you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing right now.” SMG4 whispered, breaking away from the kiss. He removed SMG3’s arms from his neck and stood up. “You need to rest, man.” SMG3 sighed, looking up at 4 with a pleading, almost desperate glint in his eyes. “Can you lie down with me, at least?” SMG3 asked. SMG4 let out a sharp exhale. “Five minutes, that’s it.” He told. SMG3 beamed, scooting over to give SMG4 as much room as he’d like.
SMG4 moved to lie down on his back, hands folded on his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. SMG3 inched closer, snaking his arms around SMG4’s. “You're gonna go to sleep now, right?” SMG4 questioned, turning his head to make eye contact. SMG3 just yawned, burying his face into the crook of 4’s neck. “Yeah, maybe…” He muttered. SMG4 rolled his eyes, shifting his body slightly.
“I really like you, you know that?” SMG3 suddenly says. SMG4 clasped his hands tighter. “You should sleep, SMG3,” he reminded him. SMG3 sighed. “But I do. I really really like you, four.” His hand is inching towards SMG4’s folded ones. SMG4 broke his hands apart to allow his fingers to intertwine with SMG3’s once more. “Let’s talk about this later, when you’re sober. Alright?” SMG4 asked. SMG3 only yawned again. “Yeah, okay..”
SMG4 let out a soft sigh of relief, his eyes focusing back on the ceiling. His eyes glance at the clock resting on the nightstand near SMG3's bed. 12:08 AM. "Happy new year, three." SMG4 whispered, softly shutting his eyes.
...
“You know four—"
“Go the fuck to sleep, three.”