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Fabian yawned as he picked up his mug from the coffee machine and slunk over to the couch. He pulled his phone from the pocket of his navy silk bathrobe (a gift from Ryan) and sank down to enjoy his morning social media gossip scroll while caffeinating.
A socialite who was unrecognisable in a bad way after plastic surgery and weight loss (sad but boring), a new clapback in the feud between two famous drag queens (that story occupied him for half his coffee), questionably homophobic leaked text messages from a supposed ally (classic - never trust a straight guy), then-
Heated rivalry: Hockey’s biggest stars in lip-locked cameo!
Despite his complicated feelings toward his boyfriend's former employment (well, not so complicated, he still reviled hockey), Fabian's curiosity was piqued. He pressed the reel beneath the headline expecting some dumb moment between two teammates.
Instead it was a Fanmail video with a guy who looked vaguely familiar to Fabian - did he know Ryan? The video seemed to have been edited to start midway through the guy's little birthday message to “Brad”, and then an arrow appeared pointing to two figures behind him through a window. The figures started kissing, arms wrapped around each other - no small peck, but a proper make out!
Text overlaid the video: Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov!
Ryan definitely knew those guys. They ran the hockey camp thing Ryan worked on. Fabian had been shocked Ryan was interested in working at a hockey camp at all, but Ryan had explained in his soft spoken quiet way that Ilya had been a good team mate, always kind, and had come to him about the camps because they were raising funds for mental health services. Ilya had asked him to partake because he knew Ryan struggled with anxiety, and then had disclosed that he had lost his mother to depression - which Ryan had then gone into a tailspin about revealing to Fabian.
“It’s not a secret though! I’d never tell someone else’s business like that - the foundation is named after her!! Roz is announcing it and stuff-”
“Babe, it’s okay.” Fabian had comforted him with a hand on his ginger-speckled arm. “Besides, even if it was a secret you’re my boyfriend. You can tell me things and they’re only between us.”
Ryan had still gnawed his lip in worry for a while, regardless of the reassurance.
So yeah, anyway, Ryan definitely knew Hollander and Rozanov! This was juicy!
“BAAABE!” Fabian shouted. “GET UP! I HAVE PIPING HOT TEA!”
There was shuffling from the bedroom and Ryan stumbled into the living room in his boxer briefs - Fabian took a moment to appreciate his thickly muscled torso and the pelt of coarse auburn hair he loved to rub his face against.
“What’s up, honey? Why did you make tea? You normally have coffee…?”
Fabian snorted. “Not literal tea, you loon. Tea. As in pour the.”
“Like loose leaf?”
“Gossip, babe!!” Fabian laughed. Even though Ryan engaged more in gay culture since being with Fabian, he was still terrible at the vernacular. (He had been confused when Fabian called him a bear because “I only played for Boston one season?”)
“Here, look at this.”
Ryan watched the video with a small frown pinching his brows. “Oh.” Was all he said when it ended.
“‘Oh’?? Are you not interested in the fact that two of the biggest players in the league, who are your friends are apparently queer?? And together?!”
Ryan shrugged. “It sucks to be outed.”
Fabian squirmed a bit at that, but quickly put it aside. “Yeah, that bit sucks. But! Hollander! Rozanov! Together!! Can you believe it??”
“Yeah.”
“You have no feelings about finding this out??”
“Well, I already knew?”
Fabian’s jaw dropped. “You knew?!” He shrieked. “And when were you going to tell me??”
Ryan cocked his head confused. “Why would I tell you?”
“Um hello?” Fabian flailed his hands. “Boyfriend rules. You tell me the tea!!”
“But this doesn’t affect us?”
Fabian theatrically facepalmed. “Babe, I love you, but you are the worst gay.”
Ryan’s baffled expression somehow found a way to intensify. “I don’t get it?”
Fabian giggled. “You are so pure. Gossip is like… the international gay pass time. It's like currency. Spilling the tea is a love language. And you didn’t even think to tell your boyfriend!!!”
Ryan shook his head and shrugged. “Sorry? I think more about you than about Ilya or Shane.” He turned to go make a coffee for himself.
“So are you and Ilya good friends then?” Fabian said, returning to surreptitiously rewatch the video. It was a really good kiss…
Ryan shrugged again. “Not really. I like him but I wouldn’t say we’re that close.”
“How come he told you about his secret boyfriend then?” Fabian pressed.
“He didn't. I walked in on them together. At camp.”
Fabian spun around so fast he cricked his neck, swore, and dropped his mug. “Fuck!” He griped as lukewarm coffee splashed up his leg, and Ryan rushed over with a kitchen towel and anxious kisses.
Fabian sighed.
“Babe?”
“What is it? Are you hurt??”
“No, just… I have something to tell you.”
Ryan blanched.
Fabian took a deep breath.
“I know you love fucking me and all, but given you can walk in on a super secret relationship and find it so uninteresting you don’t even think to hint at it to your boyfriend, unfortunately I need to revoke your homosexuality. From now on you are straight.”
Ryan knelt in front of Fabian, coffee soaked kitchen towel dripping in his fist staring at Fabian, mouth hanging slightly open.
Fabian’s lip ticked and he dissolved into giggles, pulling Ryan’s face to him for a kiss.
“You,” he pressed a kiss to Ryan’s lips, tickled by his beard, “are the worst gay. And I love you.”