Chapter Text
"Fuck fuck fuck," you curse, hurrying under the roof of the little bus shelter and out of the heavy rain.
"Oh hi, mustardblood."
Slowly, you turn to stare at Eridan. Of all people.
"... What the fuck are you doing here?" you blurt out the first thing on your mind.
Well, mostly he's sitting on the narrow plastic bench affixed to the back panel of the shelter, but he was the last person you expected to run into.
"What the fuck are you doin here."
His clothes are even wetter than yours. What was he doing when it started pouring, walking to this bus stop?
"Didn't know you took the bus anywhere," he interrupts your thoughts.
"I'm just here to get out of the rain."
"Can't fly in this weather?"
Sitting down at the other end of the bench, as far away from him as possible but, due to its nature, still way too close, you ignore his obvious prelude to taunting you.
"What, you scared you're gonna get hit by lightnin," he drawls, a little sneer on his face.
You scoff. He's going to say it'd be an improvement.
"Might be an improvement. Reset your faulty think pan or somethin."
"I fucking knew it," you hiss at nobody in particular, earning you a snicker from Eridan. "It's not even a thunderstorm!"
Your words are immediately followed by a low rumble in the distance.
... But of course.
You were made just for fate to spite you, weren't you?
"It is now."
You glare at him.
"Don't look at me like it's my fault."
It remains at that, however, no further rumbles or lightning. That was a very short thunderstorm, you guess.
"Well looks like it won't stop pissin down any time soon," Eridan states. "An I imagine none a these buses go anywhere you wanna be either, so. Better settle in I guess."
"What do you mean?"
"Forecast reckons it'll be an hour. Besides there's been some kind a traffic accident so the next bus might be a while anyway."
"Oh god."
"Yeah I know you'd prefer anthrax to my company, but you don't got to make it so obvious."
"... I didn't even say anything!"
Eridan sneers.
"What, you mean the band?"
"Why do you know human heavy metal bands, Sollux."
"Why do you know it's a heavy metal band."
"Why would I not."
"Why would someone like you listen to heavy metal."
"'Someone like me'?"
"Well. You know."
"No, I don't know Sol," he says with his stupid intonation like it's a challenge, but you're so beneath him he's doing you a favor. "Please enlighten me. What do you mean, 'someone like me'?"
"A fucking hipster."
"... If you genuinely think I'm a hipster then you wouldn't fuckin know what a hipster is if one flew by in the Condesce's battlecruiser an hit you over the head with a cardigan."
"So you listen to fucking, human heavy metal bands from the 1980s on Earth now, yeah? Or what."
"No."
You double facepalm, shoving up your glasses.
This is going to be a long hour.
It's a good thing that it's still quite warm despite the rain this afternoon, else you'd be freezing cold and shivering by now, and that would be both detrimental to your health and embarrassing.
Not that you're usually very concerned with your health. But you'd still rather not catch a cold or something, ... you guess.
Fucking Eridan of course has no problem with this shit. You're mildly jealous.
"Why are you even here," you mindlessly ask him.
"For not any a your business, mainly."
Of course. "Oh my god, sorry I asked." You frown. Why is he so petulant? It probably has something to do with that human adult schoolfeeding thing he's doing, college or whatever it's called, why make such a big deal out of that. "Why don't you just walk home."
He jabs his hand out at the rain, glowering at you, a face to match the stormy weather.
"But you're a seadweller," you point out the obvious.
"Well maybe I don't like bein in wet clothes either," he snaps.
You decide to give it a rest and gaze out at the thick threads of rain, weaving a grey curtain over everything. Occasionally, the wind gusts and sticks wet leaves to the glass panels of the shelter. You heave a sigh. It's a weather for deep sighs and boredom.
Normally, you'd be getting out your phone now, but instead you glance at Eridan, noticing that he doesn't have his out, either. That seems odd. Just sitting there, staring into space. Always surly and unapproachable, but you guess it's just resting bitch face.
No, it must be more than that.
Much as he annoys you and is an insufferable idiot and you could kick his ass and all those things, you suddenly realize and hate to admit that his demeanor has always made you feel kind of intimidated. Like you couldn't just talk to him.
Like you had to be on your guard.
Maybe if he weren't like that, people would like him more.
You try to imagine Eridan with a happy face, smiling and friendly, and it's so disturbing you involuntarily shift on your seat.
The fidgeting doesn't escape him, briefly side-eyeing you, his eyebrow raised.
"Is there actually a particular reason why you're always grouchy?" you ask to distract from it.
"If I answered you truthfully, would that make you give a fuck?"
He doesn't look at you, pushes his glasses back against the bridge of his nose with one finger, a casual gesture matching the way he sits there, relaxed, calm, but in dissonance with his face.
"What? Why would I ask if I didn't give a fuck?"
Why would he care if you do.
He ignores you.
"What do you mean, would I give a fuck?"
His continued silence starts to irritate you. Is he suggesting you're an asshole who doesn't care about others?
Uh, yeah Sollux, he probably is. And he's kind of right to, because-
You tell the little voice in your head to shut the fuck up.
"There's no reason," Eridan finally says.
"Yeah, I'll believe that."
He waves you off like a mildly inconvenient fly.
Awkward silence descends, that is it would be silence if it weren't for the rain tirelessly pelting your little glass enclosure. Feels almost a bit like a bubble.
"It's good to have some rain, but this?" Yeah, nice try. Talk about the weather, why don't you. "Getting fucking caught in the rain," you mutter, pretending to be more annoyed than you are so Eridan doesn't notice that what you actually are is embarrassed.
He doesn't react for a long moment. Then, apropos of nothing, "Do you like piña colada."
"... What?"
He snorts. "Nothin."
Now you are kind of annoyed. With him. "Is that some kind of code for something?"
Eridan smirks, but says nothing.
On the other side of the street, at the opposite bus stop, people have been trickling in over time, a small group now, while you and him are still alone on your side. You don't even know where the buses that stop here go.
"God, look at the dude in the banana jacket," you feel compelled to complain.
"What about him."
"Why would you ever wear something like that."
"If it makes him happy."
"I can't stand banana."
"Why though, it's yellow."
"Are you kidding me?"
Eridan just smirks again.
"Do I have to like everything that's yellow just because it's yellow, or what?!"
"So why don't you like it."
"I don't know, it, it just tastes weird okay."
"... Who the fuck doesn't like banana Sol. Seriously."
"Well what is so fucking great about banana in your opinion then?"
"Nothin, it's just a fruit."
"... You're just a fucking fruit."
"It's literally the most inoffensive fuckin fruit you could possibly imagine. Also it's good for you."
"Yeah well, you can eat it all then. Stuff yourself with fucking bananas."
He laughs, you sharply ask "What?" but get no reply.
A bus rolls up and stops, spilling people onto the pavement, into the rain, humans and trolls who disperse and hurry to be on their way, some opening umbrellas.
Then another, but this one only drops off a few.
"Why do you think I wouldn't give a fuck?" you can't resist picking up the thing from earlier once they're all gone.
Eridan groans. "Just fuckin forget it, Sol."
Sol. It used to bother you when he called you that, as if you were friends or something, and now it... suddenly doesn't.
But he does that with everyone, it doesn't even mean anything.
You're not going to start calling him ED or whatever.
His head tilted to the side, intently watching the people at the other bus stop, Eridan randomly says, "You ever seen a naked human."
"Why the fuck would you ask that?"
"Boredom, mostly."
"Well, yeah I have," you grudgingly reply.
That stupid smirk again. "On the internet?"
"Actually, yes," you snap. "What's so amusing about that? And before you ask, no that's not also the only place I've ever seen naked trolls. But figures that you would have seen both in real life."
"What's that supposed to mean," Eridan asks pointedly.
"With your, you know." You make some vague hand gestures.
"Fuck you," he growls. "You don't even know that I have."
"Then why are you making fun of me for it?!"
"I didn't even say anything, you started with that."
Yeah, okay. That's true.
There's another long moment of awkward silence.
Apparently not to him. "So what d'you think about them," he doesn't relent.
"What, naked humans?" you ask back sarcastically.
"Yeah."
Is that a serious question? You take breaths, opening and closing your mouth a few times. Not very much, actually, is what you think about them. "It's weird their bulge is outside," you accidentally say out loud and feel your face get warm. BUT IT IS. It's even weirder that they only have one or the other, not both.
"It looks like a fuckin sausage," Eridan says and it's so deadpan unamused that you have to burst into laughter. "What, it's true," he calmly insists and it only makes you laugh harder.
Oh god. You can't. You're crying. "It is," you finally manage to gasp before being overcome with more laughter, your sides hurting now. It's an oblong meat product alright. You're so glad to be a troll.
When it eventually subsides, you lean back with a sigh, pleasantly exhausted.
Looking over at him, you realize that
1) you're smiling
2) you haven't laughed this hard in a really, really long time
c) you've been enjoying yourself in the company of Eridan.
The urge to jump up and run away is only curbed by the fact it's still raining buckets oh god wrong mental image wrong wrong cancel abort
Despite that, the rest of the time until it stops raining is spent with similarly inane talk between the two of you, and you pointedly not interrogating yourself about it.
On the last bit of your way home, you stop by the small supermarket two streets down from your hiveblock and buy bananas.
You have no idea why.
The weather has been too warm and too dry again since that one day. Every time you hope for rain, your mind goes back to the bus shelter.
Something still bothers you about the suggestion that you wouldn't care, keeps you distracted at work so much your coworker constantly has to remind you that you work here.
Why does it bother you like this? You have no answer.
And maybe you didn't care, about him, why would you have, but maybe being called out on it stings anyway.
Stings. You watch a documentary about stingrays for no reason when you get home from work in the afternoon, and all that's on your mind is Eridan. Wrong marine animal.
And then it does rain, great big heavy drops from the sky, and you don't know why you're so excited to check the forecast, to see that it's predicted to go on for at least a couple of hours.
It's almost the same time of day as when you ran into him. A crazy thought forms in your mind.
You grab your keys and head out the door.
He's at the bus stop, he's actually there. You pretend it's just a coincidence, of course, that you aren't here because you were hoping he would be, too.
But now what?
What exactly do you expect to happen?
What else is it that you hope for?
Glancing up at you, Eridan doesn't say anything, causing you to second guess yourself, mildly regret what you've done. You're pretty much soaked this time because you walked all the way here.
You sit down and start feeling miserable. If you've ever had a moment of 'this sounded so much better in your head'—
"So what kind a fruit do you like if you don't like banana," he says out of nowhere.
You take a breath but then let it out. Yeah, well, ... yeah, what fruit do you like? You never really eat fruit. Except those bananas the other week. They were actually alright.
"Oranges," you eventually say. Well, you do like orange flavor things, that much is true. "And green apple."
"That's very mundane, I'd've expected someone like you to pick somethin more weird."
"'Someone like me'?"
"Well, you know."
"No, I don't know, what do you—" You realize that you've had this exact conversation before, but with the roles reversed. "What, are you gonna say I'm a fucking hipster now?"
"Nah, just a freak," he taunts you gleefully.
"Stuff a banana up your asshole, fishlicker."
"Bananablood."
"... Are you going to go through everything that's yellow now to come up with lame, hemospectrum-based insults for me?"
"Maybe."
"It doesn't even look like banana, it's the wrong fucking yellow."
"Lemonblood."
"Yeah, of course."
"Cheesebl-"
"Don't you fucking dare!"
"Or what?"
Or— ...
... You don't know what.
"You know these fucking gummy candies with those stupid looking cartoon fruit on them?" you ask instead.
"Yeah, 'course."
"The banana flavor ones are so gross. Tell me I'm wrong."
"God, no they are. They taste really artificial."
"Right?"
"They kinda remind me a the ones we had on Alternia that looked kinda like asses?"
"Oh fuck, yeah. Those were so bad."
"Alternia had a lot a bad candy, all things considered." His lip pulls back in distaste.
"Wonder if that had anything to do with what they used for coloring."
Eridan glances at you. "Possible."
"Speaking of bad candy, you know what I don't get the concept of?"
"What's that."
"Cake pops. Like your brain expects like, a fucking lollipop, and... then it's cake, all dry and... ugh. Why would you put cake on a stick?"
He snorts. "I think they're alright, but, yeah I get it."
"What's your favorite cake."
"What do you care what my favorite cake is mustardblood, you wanna get me one for my wrigglin day?"
"Why do you always have to evade questions like that?"
"Chocolate."
"That's boring."
"Is 'what's your favorite cake' a pissin contest now? What's yours then?"
"Lemon tart."
"Yeah, you're a lemon tart for sure."
Your cheeks start to burn. "I'm not a fucking tart, you take that back," you demand like you're six sweeps old.
"Or what."
This again? "Or I'm gonna get a lemon tart and rub it in your stupid hair."
"Ah I dunno Sol, it might make a good hair mask. You might be onto somethin there."
You scoff, but only because that was actually a pretty good comeback and you don't have a better one. Somehow you don't feel like remarking on his vanity or something right now. Nevermind that the stupid asshole is kind of hot now, to you anyw- Seems to be working out for him, anyway.
"Maybe you should try it on yours, it sure could use some care."
"Fuck off," you tell him, but it has no bite. He's probably not wrong.
Not that you gave a shit about your hair or anything.
After a little while of just watching the rain, you remember that you still don't know what he's doing here. "Are you going home from your college thing," you try.
"Nah."
You wait, but he adds nothing, and you decide to let that go.
"Do you like college?"
"Why."
"Just wondering."
No reply, and you're expecting some kind of avoidant snarky asshole shit again, but then he says, "Yeah it's alright I guess. You got to do it if you want a good job."
"What are you even learning there."
"History. How to analyze it an write about it."
"Sounds boring."
"Nah, it's fine. They teach Alternian history too even."
"... Why."
"Who knows, but it's cool."
You got to do it if you want a good job. Yeah, you guess that's true.
Even with your skills, you haven't been able to find work doing anything more than tech support, because they always insisted you needed qualifications. And that was hell, so you quit and got a part time job at a supermarket instead, where they let you do such diverse and exciting things as stocking shelves and sweeping floors.
It's worse hell and you don't know what possessed you, but at least it doesn't make you want to preemptively get rid of all the technology ever, just so the imbeciles you've had to technologically support can't accidentally cause the apocalypse through complete global breakdown of digital infrastructure, or something.
You'd rather remain ignorant to the staggering depths of their ignorance.
"There's a computer science program too, you know."
What, is he reading your fucking thoughts?
You don't really know if you want any more schoolfeeding, though. It was bad enough on Alternia, and even though you imagine it's different here, you aren't convinced it's not... also bad.
It has totally nothing to do with how you're kind of afraid that you'd get bad grades because maybe you're not actually as smart as you think you
"Would be a waste if you did nothin with that big brain a yours."
You feel the blood rush to your head. Does he really think that?
Do you really want to ponder that?
You do it anyway, getting lost in your thoughts questioning his intentions, why he would care.
Until Eridan says, "You enjoyin my company now or what?"
"What, no," you quickly assert, nervous. "How the fuck would you get that idea."
"It stopped rainin ten minutes ago." With a lopsided half-smirk and no further comment, he gets up and walks away.
Rain excites you way too much now, and before it even registers what you're doing, you're out your hive door and on the street. Might as well go through with it.
How that's what your life is now, just a chain of might as wells.
When you arrive, Eridan isn't there.
Crap.
