Chapter Text
Ethan slowly approaches his burnt out nokia, resting on the cold, wooden table next to his well prepared bed. He was ready. Ready to finally read what his friend told him to. Ao3.
He grabbed his small nokia firmly in his rough hands. He turned on the device and searched up ao3. Fuck it. Who cares about his search history anyways? As the screen lights up to the ao3 website, he remembers the ship his friend always mentioned. Two guys. Called Aziraphale and Crowley.
He slowly searched up those two names with precision and accuracy, and the screen loaded with thousands of pages of stories or the better word, fan fictions about this pairing. Ethan then randomly pressed on a fic, without reading the god forsaken tags. As he started reading, he started to notice this wasn’t for his age. It had all sorts of things in it. Like inappropriate sexual content and extra information Ethan didn’t want to know. But he enjoyed it. He enjoyed all those lewd words and actions they did. (Disgusting, man)
He then checked what these genre of fics were called. They were smut. They were smut fics. And Ethan enjoyed it. Maybe a little too much..? So much that he continued reading these types of fics. By the time he was done, his brain was melted. He yearned for his yaoi.
After finally looking up from his nokia (that was slowly losing batteries), he saw his true love. His maths workbooks. God! He didn’t do his daily 500 pages! He needs to do them QUICK. Or else he’s betraying his one and only. But… The fan fiction was yearning for him. Whispering his name in devious tones…
‘Ethan…. Ethan….. come read us…… we’re lonely without your eyes….’ He heard them whisper,
‘NO!!!! YOU’RE NOT REAL. I NEED TO DO MY MATHS FIRST. CANT SOMEONE ELSE READ YOU??’ He yelled in desperation,
‘OI!!!!! WHAT IS GOING ON UP THERE??????’ He suddenly heard a vicious scream. It could only be from one person. oh no!!!!!!! Ethan needs to hide his nokia, and quick!
Ethan scrambled over to the phone, that was still whispering sweet nothings to him. He knew they weren’t real. They couldn’t be. And he shoved it into his drawer. His maths lay there, simply untouched. Heavy footsteps neared his room, and he could just hear the whispers of his father’s shoes.
‘You BETTER have finished that book.’ He heard the growl say,
Oh fuck. He forgot about the maths. Ethan quickly scribbled answers down as the door was ripped off. Oh thank goodness, he finished all 500 pages of his workbook, in 1 second.
‘I love you maths’ Ethan wrote in the back of his book, and then he heard his maths book reply,
‘I love you too, babe….’
‘OI!!!! WHAT WAS GOING ON????’ His dad cursed at him,
‘I NEEDED TO FINISH MY WORK.’ Ethan replied making up an excuse to his insanity,
‘WHAT? WERE THE MONKEYS CHASING YOU OR SOMETHING? NO NEED TO SCREAM.’
‘Sorry pa…’
Then he heard his phone yell, ‘READ ME READ ME READ ME I NEED YOU ETHAN THE MONKEYS ARE GONNA CHASE YOU IF YOU DONY READ ME. YOUR MATHS ISNT IMPORTANT. IT ISNT THE ANSWER. ITS ME. READ ME READ ME.’
Ethan bit his tongue until he heard his dad yell in his face,
‘JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BEING SO NOISY, YOU HAVE TO DO 100 MORE BOOKS.’