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“That was…”
Merulo didn’t finish his sentence. He looked about as speechless as I felt, which was saying something, considering that I was doubly speechless. Words had never eluded me so thoroughly; even if I’d had my voice, it wouldn’t have done me much good.
“Well.” He raked his fingers through his sweat-dampened hair, smoothing out the tangles, and then, after a second’s pause, reached out to brush back the stray golden curls hanging in my face. “Are you happy now, Cameron? Now that you’ve been thoroughly disciplined… are you going to start behaving?”
Maybe it was just a small courtesy, as my wrists were still shackled to the wall, but his touch was so tender. Quite the contrast to a few minutes ago. It was so distracting that I almost didn’t process his question. He stared at me expectantly as he withdrew his hand, and finally I managed to nod.
He hadn’t asked if I would keep behaving once I started.
“Good,” he said, and a construct entered the room to remove my restraints. I rubbed at my sore wrists and stretched my stiff muscles while Merulo pulled his robe on. Then he watched me fumble uselessly with my dress. The circulation hadn’t quite returned to my fingers, and I mouthed several curses in frustration before the sorcerer stepped closer, shoved my clumsy hands aside, and took over.
“All right,” he said when he had finished lacing me up. “I’m going to go, ah… lie down for a while.”
That didn’t surprise me, considering how much he’d just exerted himself. But when he turned to leave without another word, I panicked. What about my voice?!
I grabbed his shoulder and spun him back around. He regarded me with mild annoyance as he smoothed his robe where I had pulled at it. “What is it?”
Had he forgotten, or was this deliberate? I waved my hands around frantically and pointed to my throat.
“You can’t be serious. You expect me to return your voice? I told you, I like you much better this way.” His mouth twitched into a smirk. “And isn’t that what you want?”
I pouted pitifully and batted my eyelashes.
“Or is it that you want me to hate you?” he continued, ignoring my adorable pout. “I’ll admit, your constant whining and prattling would certainly accomplish that. But no, it isn’t hatred you’re really after; it’s punishment. And what could be more torturous for you than being mute? No, I think I’ll leave you like this for now. Perhaps you can earn your voice back… if you’re good.”
He turned away again, grinning smugly, and my heart sank. Without a voice, I couldn’t even plead my case. Words had always been my best weapons; I felt naked without them. This was torture, like he said, but not the good kind.
What would it take? How good did he want me to be? Maybe if I washed all the floors again, and didn’t skip any steps this time…
I groaned internally. That would take forever. And I couldn’t even sing or hum to pass the time.
Well, maybe there was a faster way. After all, I’d just proven very clearly that I didn’t have to be good to get what I wanted. I only had to wear him down.
I smiled to myself. If Merulo thought I was annoying with my voice, I’d show him just how much worse I could be without it.
When he emerged from his bedroom an hour later, he found me sitting in the corridor with a quill and ink beside me and a thick stack of parchment in my hands.
“What’s this?” he asked, frowning.
I stood up and shoved the stack of parchment into his hands, then waited patiently while he began reading my very lengthy note.
Since I’m mute now, I guess I’ll have to write down everything I want to say. Is this legible enough for you? How old are you? I know old people sometimes have trouble with small print. I’ll write big just in case. I hope you have lots of parchment. This was all I could find, but you know this place better than I do. I’m sure you have a stash somewhere. If not, you should go buy more. Can I come with you the next time you go shopping? I promise I won’t wander off and get into trouble again. And I won’t beg you for anything, not even a pretzel, even though I still kind of really want one. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty hungry. I worked up quite an appetite earlier, and I bet you did too. What’s for lunch?
That was just the first page. Merulo rolled his eyes as he skimmed it, muttering, “Have you never heard of paragraph breaks?” Then his face began to darken as he flipped through the rest of the stack with increasing speed, no longer reading, just taking in the sheer number of sheets I’d wasted. He lifted his head to glare at me.
“You used up all my parchment?!”
I shrugged. Was that actually all of it? I’d genuinely thought there must be more somewhere.
“All this wasted… do you know how expensive…” He flipped more pages. “And you didn’t even use the backs! You did this on purpose, didn’t you!”
I picked up my quill, took the top sheet from him, and flipped it over to write on the back.
I’ll use the backs from now on.
“Give me that,” he snapped, yanking the quill from my hand. “You’ve lost your quill privileges. I see what you’re doing, and it won’t work.”
Undeterred, I reached into my cleavage and pulled out a piece of chalk. (There were plenty of other places I could have hidden it, but I couldn’t think of anything more dramatic or more fun. And the look on Merulo’s face was a definite bonus.)
I turned and began to write I WILL NOT BE SILENCED directly on the stone wall. I got as far as I WILL NOT before he snatched the chalk away too.
“You certainly will not,” he said icily. “That’s it, Cameron. You will not touch any more writing implements for the rest of the day, unless you want to return to your chains, alone.”
I tried pouting cutely again, but he just walked away. A sinking feeling spread through me as I wondered if I’d gone too far. Of course I didn’t want him to hate me. He knew that, didn’t he?
Slumping back against the wall, I slid downward until I was sitting on the floor. It was very cold on my backside; I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Merulo’s footsteps stopped, and I looked up just as he turned around. “By the way,” he started, then cut himself off, blinking down at me. “Ah… Cameron?”
I blinked back at him. He seemed slightly blurry, for some reason.
“What are you…?” He returned to my side, his face softening as he lowered himself beside me and held out the chalk. “Here. Out with it.”
I reached for it, then hesitated. I didn’t think he would trick me just so he could follow through on his threat…
He sighed and pressed the chalk firmly into my hand.
I hate not having a voice, I wrote in shaky letters on the floor.
Merulo looked at me for a long moment. I tried not to fidget under his level gaze. Then I felt something come unstuck inside me, like a stubborn cork finally released from its bottle. I inhaled, and exhaled, and a laugh bubbled out of me.
“Just like that?” I whispered in disbelief.
The sorcerer nodded. “It’s not much fun torturing you if you don’t enjoy it at least a little.”
“Thank you.” I swallowed against the dryness of my throat. “Just so we’re clear, I don’t mind that particular torture in small doses… at the right time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He pushed himself up with a grunt. “All right, I’m going to run an errand. I expect that wall and that floor to be free of writing when I return.”
I leapt to my feet. “Are you going shopping? Please let me come, please, please!”
“No, you cannot come.”
“Why not? I promise I’ll stay out of trouble!”
“Because it would ruin the surprise! Now, shut up before I shut you up myself, permanently.”
My mouth snapped shut. A surprise? What could it be?
Merulo walked away, leaving me to speculate. “I won’t be long. We’ll meet in the dining hall when I return,” he added before rounding the corner out of sight.
I tilted my head. “We have one of those?”