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Hello, all and welcome to Gothic radio, home of all your Gothic and vampire needs! I'm your host, Ariella. Today, we have a very special guest!
Here with us today is a real, live vampire!
Please welcome Kevin Von Folter to the studio with us today!
Could you tell me a bit more about yourself? Maybe your age?
Kevin: Well, I just recently celebrated my centennial birthday.
Really? That's quite amazing!
Kevin: Really? Because I’ve got family that’s even older. Heck, my father just recently turned 542 years old.
NOW! Let us head to the interesting stuff, shall we?
Kevin: Yes, let’s.
What happens to you in sunlight? Do you sparkle?!
Kevin: … You ask a question like that again and I’m walking out of this interview. That is offensive!
Brilliant! What about holy water?
Kevin: No, I was baptized when I was just a baby.
And crosses?
Kevin: These stereotypes really need to stop. No, none of these things harm me. Can a vampire not be religious?
GARLIC?!
Kevin: Now, yes. This will harm me. Many people in my family, including myself, have a severe garlic allergy. If I consume it, I could die.
Do you sleep? And do you have to be in the "earth you were buried in?"
Kevin: No, I have a nice comfortable bed in my large house.
Wow... What's your sexual orientation?
Kevin: Well, if you must know. I am actually bisexual, though I seem to have more of a thing for women. It’s still strange talking about things like this. When I was young, no one would dare admit having any attraction to someone of the same sex. I’m still getting used to discussing this subject. Honestly, I’m usually not comfortable doing so.
Humans or other vampires? Or both?
Kevin: I suppose I do have a slight bias for vampire partners. Then again, human ones come with a free meal. That's a joke, obviously.
What was your favorite period in time?
Kevin: I guess I would have to say when I first opened up my very own dental practice.
Awesome! Why?
Kevin: I was so happy to have a practice of my own, even if it was partially paid for by my family. I remember my parents being so proud of my success.
What's your favorite style to dress in?
Kevin: I always wear suits, or at least dress clothes. I prefer looking proper. I see kids these days wearing t-shirts with crude messages on them. They really have no respect for the way they dress or for how other people will perceive them from the clothes they wear.
Do you like being a vampire?
Kevin: Aside from needing to drink blood and being more susceptible to diseases, I don’t think it’s too bad, even if many of the human friends from my childhood have either passed or won’t make it much longer. Though, I’ve never been anything else, so I couldn’t tell you if it would be better or not.
I think I would... But, anyway, thank you very much for coming in to speak with us! Any last words to say to our listeners?
Kevin: Yes. Brush and floss regularly and make sure to visit your dentist at least once a year. Your oral health is important. Keep those smiles beautiful. By the way, we’re opening for new patients and are looking to hire some more staff, so don’t hesitate to contact our clinic.