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Tell Me Where I Came From (What I Will Always Be)

Summary:

Sabo goes to Baltigo to pick up his younger self, and Dragon has a very odd day.

Notes:

all those sequel ideas i wrote down for the first fic have Continued to haunt me so i guess this is a series now

i would stick to the poem excerpt titling gimmick but i don't actually read enough poetry to be able to make it work lmao. thus: song lyrics
songs are basically just poems you sing anyway right
i've lowkey always wanted a good excuse to do song lyric titles... they're fun. (yes i know i don't actually need an excuse. i am a creature of habit ok)

title is from saint bernard by lincoln

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

S

Various locations

 

Sabo doesn't have an eternal pose to Baltigo for a number of obvious reasons.

For one, it was compromised and even if he'd had one, there would be no reason for him to have kept it after operations were relocated to Momoiro.

For two, carrying around a pose that points directly to revolutionary headquarters would be an inane level of security risk. If that were standard practice, there would have been absolutely no chance of Baltigo remaining secret as long as it did. 

The standard method of navigating to the island, back when it was in active use, involves certain specific calculations from the trajectories of an eternal pose to a nearby island and a log pose set from a different one. Personnel were expected to memorize them rather than write them down, and to destroy any scratch paper used for the equations.

Sabo no longer keeps those poses on hand, but reacquiring them wouldn't be excessively difficult. Both the island the log pose needs to be set from and the island the eternal pose goes to are populated enough to be standard inventory at any marine base remotely near them, and it would hardly be the first time he replaced a lost pose by stealing it from the government. 

But as chief of staff, he has a few special privileges when it comes to carrying things that would be a massive security risk to lose. There are occasions where he's needed urgently and needs to be able to find his way without a pose, and with his position it was decided that the benefits of that outweighed the risks. 

It was easy enough to verify that Luffy's vivre card points to the version of him from this time. With that tested, it's reasonable to assume the same is true of Dragon's.

It's hard to leave Ace and Luffy. 

Really hard. 

He only just got them back.

But it's not fair for him to delay their reunion with their Sabo just because he has separation anxiety. They made it through these years without him just fine the first time. They'll survive him being absent for a month or two to fetch his younger self. 

The trip itself is relaxing in its familiarity. The dance of hopping between ships and disguises as needed to get where he's going would be hazardous for anyone else, but he's done this so many times over the years that it's almost easy. 

The fact that no one in this time knows his face makes things easier, too. The usual concern of being recognized if he's not careful enough with his disguises isn't a factor here at all.

He does still cover the scar. It's distinctive enough to stick out, and unique enough that he and his younger self being the same person rather than just very similar looking will become obvious to a lot of undesirable parties in a few years. The time travel is something he'd rather the World Government not find out about if at all possible. 

He'll have to cover it full time, if he reestablishes any kind of reputation. That's going to get incredibly irritating to keep up. Maybe he'll start wearing a mask or something. 

(He's going to have to change his name. Don't think about that.)

Sabo hitches a ride with a fisherman to get off Dawn and from there hops on a merchant ship to Shells Town, which still has a significant marine presence in this time without being as watched as Loguetown is. 

From there he steals a uniform and sneaks onto a Marine vessel bound for a larger base, where he transfers again to a different ship going across the Calm Belt to one of the Grand Line bases, from which he takes a third Marine ship to get to a trade hub.

He has a lot of practice infiltrating the Marines. They're the easiest way to cross the Calm Belt when he doesn't have access to Karasu for transportation. 

Sabo jumps between a few more ships, steals a small one to take the last leg alone, and for the first time in far too long feels his boots sink into white sand. 

 

–//–

 

Monkey D. Dragon

Baltigo

 

Dragon is midway through spectating one of Sabo's training sessions when the stranger appears.

A blonde man in a white coat, taller than the human average but not notably so. Black boots, loose blue leggings, a cravat over a blue vest over a black undershirt. A metal pipe strapped to his back.

A black top hat with a pair of blue goggles set loosely over the brim. A half mask covering the left side of the face.

…Hm.

Something tells him this is an odder occurrence than a mere recruit or invader.

The stranger who looks like nothing so much as an older Sabo doesn't make an event of his presence. His gait as he walks into view is calm and unhurried, and once he's caught Dragon's eye he nods, ceases his approach, and goes to lean against a nearby outcropping with a casual air.

Dragon quietly signals for the training session to be brought to an early halt, miscellaneous recruits swiftly shuffled away without raising alarm.

Within five minutes, the field is cleared. The only people to remain are Dragon, Kuma, Sabo, and the stranger himself, even Hack having left in order to keep the other trainees from noticing anything amiss.

The stranger watches this without any indication of his opinion on it past the same congenial, meaningless smile that he recognizes as Sabo's resting expression.

How unnerving.

He has no idea who this man is. 

Past the impossible, of course, but such ideas as cloning or time travel should be kept in reserve and only acknowledged should more mundane explanations prove insufficient.

As soon as the trainees have fully cleared out, the man strides forward towards the personnel who remain, still without any visible agitation or impatience. 

His hands are in his pockets, making it impossible to see if he shares Sabo's tell of rubbing the little finger of his non-dominant hand against its neighbor when stressed. 

The fact that his hands are thusly hidden in the first place is a tell all on its own, should he truly share that particular trait. 

The stranger's resemblance to Sabo only grows more uncanny as he gets closer. From his facial features to the texture of his hair to the striking shade of his eyes, a blue so intense it edges nearly into violet, the list of commonalities only grows. 

Soon enough, he seems to judge their proximity as appropriate to speak. Dragon finds himself irrationally startled by the low, adult pitch of his voice as he says, "Hey, Dragon-san. Do you recognize me?" 

He doesn't. He might. 

Dragon gives a meaningful glance to Sabo, standing uncertainly next to him and watching the stranger with wide eyes. "Not as such. I cannot, however, deny your uncanny resemblance to this boy."

There's a brittle quality to the stranger's smile. "Mm. And you've already come up with a half dozen possible explanations for that, I'm sure."

He has. Dragon nods.

"Why do you look like me?" Asks Sabo, voicing the question that's been hanging in the air since the stranger's arrival. 

The man makes an expression like he's about to tell a good joke and reaches up to remove his mask. "Can't you guess?"

The scarring is identical. 

"I can answer however many questions you need me to in order to verify it, of course." He says to Dragon. "But I think who I am should be mostly self-evident."

Sabo. 

…Yes. Further proof of that will definitely be necessary. 

But with the evidence before him, Dragon would be equally a fool to dismiss the idea out of hand.

The man who might be Sabo turns his attention to the last person present, and his smile shades into something uncomfortably like grief. "You look well, Kuma-san."

Kuma answers with a long, searching look. "... If you prove yourself to be what you're implying, I will have a number of questions about why you look at me so sadly."

Indeed. 

The man's face settles back into its mask of affable neutrality. "I'll be happy to answer them when you do, along with anything else. It's a rather tragic story, though."

Hopefully of the avoidable variety, should he prove truthful. 

With the immediate question of the stranger's identity being answered, however improbably, Dragon assigns Kuma to escort Sabo back to the dormitories and leads the man to his office to conduct further questioning in a more discreet location.

It's a decision he's quickly glad of, because the stranger who is no stranger at all turns out to be in possession of a terrifying degree of information about both the Revolutionary Army and the world at large, and very little of it is safe for outside ears. 

This is a Sabo who ran this organization alongside him for years, and the intelligence of his twelve year-old self has sharpened into an impressive mind and fearsome memory, allowing him to recite in detail reports of events many years past from his perspective with calm surety and careful precision. 

He holds himself with the confidence of a man who knows his worth, and speaks with a maturity befitting his claimed role. 

None of the uncertainty and doubt of this time's Sabo is present in the man who sits before Dragon now, comfortably settled in his own skin and certain of himself and his desires. 

"I can't rejoin the RA." He says, apologetic but unwavering, "At least not within the next several years. I'm open to keeping in communication or occasionally meeting up with you, but my priority at the moment is my brothers."

Another notable fact about this Sabo: he is no longer an amnesiac.

Sabo continues, "On that front, I'm going to be taking my counterpart with me when I leave." It's not a request. "I won't stop him from returning later on, but he's needed at home right now. He's already been away too long. The information I've given you and will continue to give you should more than compensate for his absence."

He offers no allowance for the possibility of Dragon's disagreement. Dragon wonders if that's true confidence or a facade to hide something less unassailable. 

Either way, his answer is the same. "I have no objection to you wanting to be with your family. Nor to reuniting your other self with them. The you I know has always been adrift without knowledge of his past, and no matter that he may deny it, I see how it weighs on him to be bereft of history. I would never begrudge you the decision to prioritize that."

Sabo's eyes have gone wide and vulnerable. He's unsure if the sentiment will be welcomed, but Dragon nonetheless finds himself saying, "Though I am yet too young to be the man you ought to hear this from, I must confess to being immensely proud of how you've grown, Sabo."

Sabo's previously unshakable demeanor fully falls away as he blinks hard and visibly bites down on his lower lip. 

Dragon allows him the space of a few breaths to regain composure, and Sabo eventually murmurs, voice tight with feeling, "That means more to me than you know." 

 

–//–

 

Baltigo

 

At first, Sabo thinks the man who looks like him is a relative.

It's not that unreasonable of an assumption. That's the normal reason for someone to look like you, isn't it? Maybe begoggled hats and cravats are a popular fashion in Goa. Maybe Dragon found this guy and invited him to Baltigo as a surprise for Sabo.

All of those things, even together, are way more plausible than the truth.

There's nothing plausible about the identical scars. (Well. Nearly identical. The older one is a bit more faded.)

When you've eliminated the impossible, whatever remains must be the truth.

Dragon takes the man who looks like Sabo away to question him privately and Sabo lets Kuma lead him back to the dorms, head spinning.

That's him. 

That man was him.

What the hell.

He doesn't get much sleep that night. How could he possibly, dealing with a bombshell like this? His thoughts circle around like ouroboroi, spiraling around and around, snakes eating their own tails and going nowhere fast.

In the morning, he's summoned to a place he and the other Sabo can speak privately.

Sabo faces him, and asks, because he has to, "Are you really… me?"

A nod. "From about a decade in the future."

So it is time travel, then. "I have questions."

They're in a small meeting room with a single table and a few chairs. They pull two out to take their seats in uncanny unison and both take the same instant to pause and blink at the synchronicity of it.

…That's going to keep happening, isn't it.

"...That's going to keep happening, isn't it?" The older Sabo sighs, and the younger makes a face at the echo of his own thoughts, "Well, I'm at your disposal. Ask away."

He starts with the basics. "How did you come back in time? And why?"

"Starting with the basics, the-" Sabo makes another face and his other self groans. "Let me guess, you just thought that exact sentiment?"

"If it helps, I definitely believe you now." Sabo says. "That's going to get annoying really fast, though."

They share a commiserating look. "Moving past the twin telepathy shtick for the moment, I don't fully understand how I ended up here." The older him says. "It certainly wasn't deliberate. I have theories on the mechanics of it, but given that I'm reasonably sure I died, I can't exactly test them."

…Died, huh.

Well, twenty-two is still further than he thought he'd make it. 

That's not a concern for this Sabo, anyway. He was knocked off whatever path led to that the moment his older self showed up. He'll want the details eventually just in case, but for now he'd rather focus on more relevant topics.

So he just says, "Ah. Then my next question…" There's no point beating around the bush, is there? He only really has three, anyway.

The first one, how and why the other Sabo came back. The third one, what his plans are. And the second one, the one that's the least important and the most vulnerable, the one he's been wondering about since yesterday… "Do I- Did you… Our past?"

Does he know who they are?

To his surprise, the other Sabo, actually looks startled by the question. But after a moment, his expression shifts to understanding. He mutters to himself, almost quieter than Sabo can hear, "Right, at that age I still…" He trails off, leaving the thought unfinished.

Then he smiles at Sabo and says, at a more conversational volume, "It's been so long I almost forgot, but you're still hoping you'll get it all back at this point, aren't you?" The implication that he stopped hoping at some point is shocking enough that he almost interjects, but the other Sabo stops him with a raised hand, still smiling. "No, no, it's not a bad thing. I'm glad. I was worried I'd have to abduct you."

"Huh?"

The other Sabo laughs at him. "Your face! Calm down, I just said I probably won't need to now!" That's not exactly reassuring, but Sabo is mollified by his smile, wide and genuine and relieved. "You need to remember. It's going to be a lot easier if you want it, too."

"...Need to remember?" What does that mean?

The other him's eyes go serious. "Yes, need. We have family. Real family, not our shitty parents and their replacement kid. And right now, they need you a lot more than the revolution does."

…Family?

He's left people behind?

Wait, but the other him is saying it like– "You're not going to- it's not one or the other, right? I can't just leave-" It comes out embarrassingly high and panicked, but he's never been good with- the other Sabo can't just drop that on him and expect him to take it well, that's not-

This is his home. This is the only home he's ever known.

Even if there's some other place, hidden on the other side of him he's forgotten – This him, the him who's here now, he's only ever had one place to belong to. He can't just leave.

"Calm down." The other Sabo says, looking a little panicky himself. "I'm not- if I make you cry it's going to be really embarrassing for both of us, okay, please don't. It's not forever, alright? You can go back after, I'll work something out, I just-"

He takes a deep breath. Then, he leans forward, taking Sabo's hands in his own much larger ones, and says, "Until I showed up, they thought you were dead. You have to at least visit. And-" He visibly steels himself, "Look. Your memories are in there, and they're going to come back one day. I can promise you – If you don't go back to Dawn, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Trust me. I would know."

There's a desperation in him that speaks to a grief Sabo doesn't have the capacity to understand.

He doesn't ever want to understand it.

He inhales, and says, "I'll visit. But you have to promise I can come back here after."

The other Sabo exhales, and nods.

"I promise."

Notes:

i don't think sabo would be good with upset kids. he manages with ace and luffy (with great effort) but anyone else? get him outta here. even worse when the kid is Literally Him.
but also what was he expecting you can't just drop "i'm going to yoink you from the only home you've ever known in favor of that place even total amnesia couldn't stop you from wanting to run from" with no notice or clarification on whether he'd get to come back after. frankly i would have a panic attack on the spot if someone did that to me