Chapter Text
Jane & Lily
(Private Text Thread)
[September 16th 2021 - 10:18PM]
Jane - Ilya!
- What the fuck?!
Lily - Shane!
- Мое любовь! [moyo lyubov/my love]
Jane - I’m in an uber on the way back from the restaurant now. I’ll be home soon.
Lily - I will look forward to seeing you soon! 😁😍
- I missed you soooo much
- You’ve been gone for ages😔
Jane - I haven’t even been gone three hours.
- How did you even find that video? It’s from 2018!
Lily - 😔😔😔
Jane - How does this make me look gay?! I was just answering the questions like the other guys!
Lily - Hmm
- Not just answering like the other guys
- Answering like you
Jane - Ilya!
- What does that mean? How can you read into how I answer the questions? I don’t answer questions in a gay way!
Lily - Дорогой do not worry. [dorogoy/beloved]
- It does not matter how you came across in a stupid video from 2018
Jane - It does if you’re going to bring it back up!
Lily - As a joke
- Shane please do not stress
- Милый [milyy/sweetheart]
- I will be able to explain better when you get here
- But it was just a joke
- You answer every question so seriously, so properly
- And you know all the answers because you are so smart
- But people do not expect hockey players to know these things
- So I joke that of course you know these things because you are super gay and how could people not see this?!
- Is at their own cost because people say liking girly things is gay, yet that could never be true of big hockey star Shane Hollander
Jane - At their own expense.
- I know. It’s okay. I’m not stressed. Well not anymore. I was just worried when I first saw it that I had always been obvious.
- And I’m not super gay.
Lily - I’m sorry
- I did not mean to make you worry.
- Especially not while I was not there to make things better
Jane - I know. It’s okay. I was just caught off guard when I saw your tweet.
Lily - I am sorry mое любовь [moyo lyubov/my love]
- You were only ever obvious to me
- Not to anyone else
Jane - Oh yeah? What gave me away?
Lily - 👀
- 🏒🚿🍆😜
- No one else was lucky enough to see when you were being obviously gay
Jane - Lucky huh?
Lily - Yes. Very lucky.
- ❤️
- In the video you are not obvious you are just answering their questions seriously and correctly
- I know is not because you are gay
- Is because you are smart and wonderful and do not put toothpaste on your spots like other stupid hockey boys
- And you like to ask Yuna and Rose and Jackie things
- Because you are a good man
- But other people do not know this
- By their own prejudice definitions you doing well at this girl trivia would make you gay
- But even when their stupid stereotypes work out they still could not see it until they saw us kissing
- Now people tell me they thought I was just European. But it turns out I am gay and European
- I was just pushing their own things back at them
- Because these straight men would never bother to lean about the women in their lives
Jane - That’s not true of all straight men. Hayden knows things about Jackie. We went shopping for Christmas gifts together once and he knew all of her hair care products.
Lily - A smart woman like Jackie wouldn’t put up with a stupid straight man
Jane - But you’re always calling Hayden stupid.
Lily - He is stupid.
Jane - ???
Lily - 👀
Jane - I’m nearly home.
Lily - ❤️❤️❤️
Jane - Did you fucking screenshot me while I did my skincare when we facetimed?!