Chapter Text
The whole being kept in a holding cell thing was a misunderstanding, not that the APES guy—which is fucking what? All-purpose agency or something, the supposed agent having like a million badges for everything that could be considered a law enforcement or intelligence agency, like anyone would believe that—agreed with him.
And he wasn't even doing anything illegal this time! Besides the breaking and entering, in Jason's opinion as a former crime lord slash present vigilante, that was basically a requirement of the job. Not something that required being put in a cell! They couldn't even nail him with gun charges because he wasn't a fucking idiot and had permits for them. They were, of course, for one of his fake identities, but he had permits. No way he would go down for something so stupid as illegal carry or tax evasion.
He had been hunting down an arms trafficking ring, one that dealt with exotic weapons—probably of alien origins—that caused a whole lot bigger destruction than normal guns, and no way Jason was letting weapons capable of vaporizing someone with a single shot be on his streets. He had enough problems as it was. Also, according to some rumors, the same ring might've been trying to break into the human trafficking scene as well, which was just extra motivation to track them down.
Fortunately for Jason, unfortunately for everyone in the ring, they were not very good at covering their tracks. He managed to track them from Gotham to Blüd—where he almost had to ask for help from Dickhead, which would've turned this whole thing into a family operation—before finding out they had a warehouse in the middle of nowhere, perfect for casing it and checking if his intel was actually correct.
Which it was. He managed to get into the warehouse undetected—there were barely any guards, and none of them were paying attention, probably on account of nobody being in the vicinity—and was checking out several of the wooden boxes lying around, filled with weapons, when the APES agents or whatever decided to actually do their jobs for once and raided the warehouse.
And Jason was a realistic guy! He could admit that standing in the middle of a warehouse—dressed in his Red Hood getup—didn't paint a nice picture. And maybe not everyone had been updated on his change of heart and abandoning the whole dark side thing. Also, while he was good—more than good with all his training—taking out at least twenty agents, not counting the ones outside of the building without using lethal force, was just not something that he could do.
So, he was sitting in a cell, a generic one with grey walls, a two-sided mirror on the wall, and very uncomfortable metal chairs. He was also handcuffed to the table, but it wasn't like he couldn't get out of the cuffs. He hasn't yet, mainly because he was waiting for someone to come and talk to him, and maybe, just maybe, they can get this whole thing solved without Jason making an enemy of the new agency—and look at him now, Bruce! He wasn't even thinking about using his guns, not that he had them on hand—by calling the Bats or the Justice League, who must have some kind of pull with all secret organizations.
There was nothing to tell the time, but he thinks it must've been at least 5 hours since they put him in the cell and just left him alone, which is fucking fantastic, not like the assholes from the trafficking were getting away as he was sitting here, doing nothing. Maybe they were getting one of their higher-ups? Catching the Red Hood might just be a big thing after all.
So, Jason is very much surprised that when the cell door opens, it's not some very important agent stepping through in a ridiculously expensive suit that would be totally useless in the field, but Timothy Drake, dressed in his Red Robin suit, casually chatting with the agent behind him. The agent guy—Jason, who did not remember his name, it might've been Matt or something—was the one who arrested him.
"Hood," Tim sighed, the same way Alfred did whenever he was too exhausted to think up a petty remark. "What did you do?"
"Why is your first thought always that I did something?" Tim looked around the cell with an unamused expression. "For your information, I was minding my own fucking business when this asshole..." He jerked his shoulder toward the agent. "Just arrested me for nothing!"
"He was in the middle of a warehouse connected to an arms trafficking ring, inspecting the merchandise," the agent guy explained. "We've been investigating them for months. I don't think Red Hood is connected, but he was standing in the middle of the scene, and there was no way he was walking away. Then I remembered An—"Interesting slip-up," Jason noted. " The empress mentioned you told her Hood was now running with your lot now and decided to give you custody of him. The agency is not interested in dealing with a breaking and entering case," he told Tim while unlocking Jason's handcuffs and motioning towards the door.
Honestly, that was insulting! Having a case, even if just a breaking and entering one, against Red Hood would be totally worth it! Jason was not some misbehaving kid who the principal had to send home. And how did the kid even know the agent, let alone well enough that Jason would be released to him? Not that he was complaining that much; being escorted out of a guarded facility was much preferable to breaking out, especially since he was without backup and knew nothing of the place he was in.
"Appreciate it, Agent Maad. I hope he wasn't too much trouble. " Oh, so the guy's name was Maad. Good to know; Jason will certainly run a background check on him now.
They were nearly at the exit, judging by the door and the fact the sun was shining in the windows instead of everything being lit by artificial lights, when the kid decided to puzzle Jason some more. He had been buzzing for some time, like he was building up the courage to ask something, and Jason was expecting the usual questions: Did you do it, Jason? Are you being a crime lord again, Jason? Did you shoot off the dick of the child rapist Jason? But the pretender could always surprise him.
"What would Agent Fite like more by the way, one of those kid cars he can drive around and everything, or a train model set or a first detective set?" Which what? "I've already set up a trust fund, but Empress said not to go too overboard, which I feel like was a dig at me for buying so many things for Oshi last time, but I have to cement my position as the favorite uncle because no way am I letting Superboy take that position! He already has enough advantages with his stupid TTK; the babies seem to love it for some reason—"
"Red Robi-, Kid," Maad interrupted Tim's ramblings. "Don is two years old right now; if it makes sounds and is shiny, he will be happy."
Tim made a sound that could be counted as agreeing and then typed something into the gadget built into his gauntlet, possibly writing down what the agent said. Which sounded fucking insane, 'cause why would a two-year-old be an agent and a toddler at the same time? And who the hell was Empress? Jason couldn't remember any hero with this moniker, and he did research into his replacement! He was friends with Impulse, Superboy, and Wonder Girl! And probably was friendly with whoever was on the Teen Titans at any given time, but Red Robin was a loner. He was a loner who worked alone, schemed alone, and was allergic to asking for help.
He should not be talking with anyone about Jason or what's going on in his life! That required a level of trust mini-Bruce should not be capable of. And why did he have connections within an almost surely made-up law enforcement agency? Where an agent would just call him up and give him a known criminal, even if he were reformed and everything?
He was so lost in thought that he almost missed Tim and Maad saying goodbyes to each other.
"-and tell Ms. K-J that I said hi! I'm going to meet with C soon, but probably in San Francisco or LA, so I don't think I will see her. Oh, or is she going to be Mrs. Maad soon? Empress said something about never not knocking again and that she was hearing wedding bells. Or she could be Mrs. K-J-Maad! Mouthfull, I know, but not like I can talk, y'know?" he shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, kid, I know," answered Maad, "which again, what?" Did the guy know who Red Robin was under the mask? Did B know about this? Also, how did the kid know the agent so well? This was well over professional courtesy. "Take care of yourself, okay? The girls were worried when you went AWOL, and I don't need a repeat of that."
And with that, the agent guy left them alone. Red is already walking towards a car, not one of Bruce's fancy ones, but a red vigilante one that Jason has never seen before, sliding into the driver's seat before Jason can even ask about driving. Which fine, the kid is what, seventeen? He won't kill them. Probably.
"So…" he prompted, hoping Tim will fill in the rest. Jason thought about putting his feet up on the dashboard, but he wasn't fancying dying again by being an origami in case they got into an accident.
"So…?"
"So how do you know the agent guy? And who is Agent Fite?"
"Oh, Fite'n Maad were the two agents who were always trying to interfere with our cases back in the Young Justice days. "Obviously not anymore, and we worked together once or twice since," he said, like it explained everything, when in Jason's opinion, it did not.
"And Fite is two years old?" And yes, Jason is aware people age; they can age weirdly. He knows two of Timmy's little friends are not as old as they seem, but Young Justice was active in the first years of Tim's Robin run. The Teen Titans got the members in their ranks pretty soon. The agent can't be two years old in any way if he was active during those years.
"Well, he wasn't then." Red rolled his eyes, like Jason was the stupid one. "Obviously. He's the Empress' dad but got killed when he was investigating Agua Sin Gaaz's organ trafficking ring or something." Again, what? "So Young Justice decided to invade Zandia to help the Empress avenge her parents, and somehow the Empress got her dead parents back, but as babies. Gonna be honest, I think you got lucky 'cause you came back as like the steroid version of yourself and not a literal baby. And now she's raising them, and they're two years old now."
This was insane. Little itty-bitty Robin Timmy invaded a foreign country? One that was inhabited by criminals and supervillians? Jason saw the kids' files; he was only 5'1" that time and committing international crimes? B was going ballistic for just even thinking he killed someone as Robin. Hypocrisy in its finest.
"And what did Batman say about this? Or the Justice League?"
"I don't think they know?" he sounded genuinely confused. "Or at least they never mentioned it, which is kind of weird given we recruited every teenage hero or sidekick we could think of. And I'm almost sure Ms. K-J killed Sin Gaaz, but I don't have actual proof."
He wasn't even getting into that one, no! But, in the back of Jason's mind, he can't help but wonder if they would've been willing to avenge him and deal with the Joker, diplomatic immunity be damned, if he had been part of that team. He's already known one of the reasons Tim has succeeded where he had not, as Robin was due to the fact he had his friends from Young Justice, giving him something Jason never managed to get from the cape community. He had existed in that weird period where he was too young for the existing generation of sidekicks and new heroes, but the next generation of younger capes hadn't popped up yet. Maybe a year or two would've made a difference. But no need to think about the past; the baby bird was just spewing more and more mind-blowing shit.
"One more question, Timbo: who the fuck is Empress?" because that part was still not clear, by the way. Tim had a wonderful ability to explain something without actually giving out information.
"Anita? Agent Fite's daughter? Also, you were bragging about knowing all that stuff about me during the whole Titan's Towers fight, and you don't even know who Anita is?" Okay, ouch, he could feel the judgment. Maybe his research was more into the events going on in Gotham and the active Titans; no need to be so judgy about it.
"She wasn't a Titan!" he defended himself. There were so many heroes that popped up while he was dead.
"She was in Young Justice! Next you tell me you don't know who Secret, Arrowette, or Slobo are!"
"I… don't?"