Chapter Text
The night stretched on dark and landslide heavy in front of him.
The lanterns hung from the eaves painted the yard with a warm and cozy glow but Sunfei's eye was drawn to the cold moon instead. He watched the crescent of the moon and felt it almost mocking him and his troubles, cut like a sharp grin against the darkness of the night sky. The weight of his responsibilities — and grief, though he would never admit to the latter — pressed down on his shoulders like a millstone, making his muscles tense and ache. If only his happier days at Furin could have lasted longer...
Ah, what a naive thought and so unlike him.
Sunfei tried his best to shake the childish dream from his consciousness. Focus on breathing in the crisp and chill night air and push his mind towards the place he went to when meditating. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to work this time.
Time passed, but instead of inner peace, all he found was a nauseating headache. And the headache was soon followed by a sudden rush of light-headedness that made him stumble to one side before he caught himself. His brothers, stationed right behind him as usual, rushed forward to grab and steady him.
"Whoa! Time for bed for you, Feifei."
He felt himself sagging against Rakta's strong chest as an odd weakness overtook his limbs. His brother's arms were the only thing holding him on his feet.
One long blink later, he found Bacchus fussing in front of him, his brows knitted together in an unusually serious expression.
"Are you feeling okay?" A hand briefly brushed over Sunfei's forehead but he wasn't sure whose it was, too busy blinking away the spots dancing in his vision. "Rakta can take you to your room. I'll get some food for you from the kitchens."
"But... the children need it more..." His words came clumsy and half coherent, like his tongue was too thick for his mouth. Yet, his brothers seemed to understand him just fine.
Rakta had stayed silent and tense against Sunfei's back so far, and while Sunfei was unable to read his expression from his position, he could feel the frustrated huff of air against his ear. "You also need to eat if you want to keep going like this."
Sunfei couldn't find an argument against him. His head ached, the edges of his mind were growing fuzzy and it was becoming hard to focus on things.
Bacchus disappeared towards the kitchens in a blur of motion, leaving Sunfei and Rakta alone on the porch. Rakta sighed, his hands unfathomably gentle despite his harsh words earlier as he gathered Sunfei up in his arms. "I can walk," Sunfei tried protesting weakly, earnestly, but his brother was having none of it.
"I don't believe you."
Sunfei bit his lip before giving in. He let his arms wrap loosely around his brother — just to further secure himself in his hold, he'd tell himself. He knew Rakta would never drop him. He nuzzled his face into the warm, red-clad shoulder, and tried to get comfortable, though he was careful not to disturb the yajin tassels laying on Rakta's chest.
"Then, don't let the children see..."
"I know. We will take the route through the back to your room. I'll keep you hidden."
Rakta knew that his little brother had an image to maintain at the dojo, in front of the younger children. And it was Rakta's duty to protect that image.
No matter how much it might kill him on the inside.
As promised, he walked to the end of the porch where he reached one of the less travelled staircases going up to the second floor, and did his best to avoid being seen by any of the younger children. While walking — and without Bacchus around to feel offended about being excluded — he switched to speaking Mandarin, a language the brothers shared, and one he knew Sunfei found a lot of comfort in. "We care about you, dìdi, so don't try to do everything by yourself..."
Sunfei hummed in reply but Rakta was fairly sure he was half-asleep and not truly registering the words. Whatever, it was off his chest for now.
Finally, he reached a nondescript door down one of the many identical hallways. Rakta pushed the sliding door open with his foot and stepped inside. It was a small, Chinese-style room with minimalist decor. Far too modest for his little brother's station.
He laid Sunfei down on the bed and watched his little brother blink back to exhausted awareness. His lone red eye roved over the walls of the room before a small sigh escaped him and his body relaxed marginally. Rakta took a seat on the edge of the bed next to him.
Bacchus returned shortly after in a flurry of nervous energy, carrying a tray with a small plate of stir-fry, a bowl of soup, and a glass of water on it. As soon as his footsteps were heard in the hallway and the door started sliding open, Sunfei pushed himself up to sit at attention. Rakta fought the urge to shove him back down immediately, before even seeing what he wanted or who was at the door.
"Hey Feifei, good to see you're resting! I brought some grub!" Bacchus forced his voice to be light and cheerful as he entered the room despite the pit of worry growing at his stomach. Sunfei somehow managed to look worse for wear than the last he'd seen him, only some fifteen minutes earlier. It scared him.
He set the food down on the bedside table and knelt on the floor in front of Sunfei who only stared at him dully for a long moment, a vacant smile clinging to his lips, before his eye cleared slightly as the annoyance managed to break through the exhaustion. "I've told you... Stop calling me Feifei."
Bacchus felt a more genuine grin spread across his face. For a moment, relief was like a splash of cool water inside him. "Good to see that crazy brain of yours is still working," he said warmly and reached out a hand to poke Sunfei's left cheek, only to be swatted off shortly. He didn't mind. "Would you like some dinner?"
Sunfei's gaze turned away from him and lingered on the tray of food. When he turned back, a small and seemingly innocent smile pulled on his lips as his eye crinkled shut. Bacchus knew better than to trust that angelic face.
"Can I get changed for bed first?"
Rakta heaved a gusty sigh in the background.
In the end, the brothers had to help Sunfei change into his sleeping clothes when it proved that his hands were too shaky to work through the pankou buttons of his overcoat and changshan, and his legs too unsteady to stand on when he stepped out of his pants. The lack of protest from the youngest through the whole ordeal spoke volumes about his mental and physical state. Sunfei was out like a light as soon as they laid him back down in his bed.
Bacchus watched as Rakta pulled the covers over Sunfei's sleeping form and pushed himself up from the floor. It felt like the anxiety was going to eat him alive, the pit of worry in his stomach digging deeper into his core. He had never been good at feeling useless.
He found himself pacing back and forth in the small floor space of the room.
"Did he eat anything today?" He forced himself to ask the obvious question, though he feared he already knew the answer.
"No. Not as far as I know." Rakta sat on the edge of the bed in sullen silence.
"Is he running a fever?"
Rakta brushed the back of his hand against Sunfei's cheek to check. "No, but I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again. With the way he keeps pushing himself."
A moment of tense silence passed between them. Bacchus continued his pacing.
"We should take off the eyepatch. He'll be more comfortable resting without it," he said.
"Hm."
Rakta's hands combed through Sunfei's hair as they went to untie the leather eyepatch. Neither brother liked lingering on what lay underneath it, the guilt of it eating both of them even years after the fact. Rakta swiftly moved Sunfei's bangs to cover what was left of his right eye.
While at it, he also plucked the tassels out of Sunfei's ears and placed both the earrings and the eyepatch on the bedside table. His eyes unintentionally landed on the untouched food and the anger disguising his worry started boiling over. "Tsk."
Bacchus was still pacing around the small space like a caged tiger, both hands stuffed in the pockets of his pants. His restlessness was slowly but surely unworking Rakta's own composure.
"Would you stop that, you moron!" He snapped finally, his dark eyes blazing. "Your stomping is going to wake up the whole household and if they come here to investigate-" A sleepy groan sounded from the bed and Rakta quickly lowered his voice. He clenched his jaw to prevent more loud anger from spilling out.
A quick glance at their sleeping little brother worked wonders for both of them and Bacchus found it easy to not rise to Rakta's bait this time. Sunfei probably only had a few hours to rest before he'd be needed again and he'd hate to wake him up with his and Rakta's nth argument of the day. He sank to the floor in a cross-legged position, raking a hand through his hair.
"I just dunno what we're supposed to do. He's going to overwork himself to death at this rate. He looked so much... lighter when he was with..." Bacchus let his voice trail off before he stepped into that particular landmine of a topic.
"There isn't anything we can do other than what we've always done," Rakta growled bitterly. His eyes stayed on Sunfei's face. Their little brother looked even younger when he slept. Gods, the kid was only fifteen, it was sometimes too easy to forget with the way he acted and carried himself.
"Whatever Sunfei wants to do, we'll be there to support him through it. No matter what."