Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

1

{Why can’t class be over already? It’s almost Friday—so I can finally watch YouTube!

I haven’t gotten the homework problems yet—I probably should take out my earphones so I can hear my professor…

I take them out and put them in my pocket, but even then, I don’t hear my professor lecturing.

Somehow, it takes me several more moments to realize I’m not sitting at a desk.

I’m lying down.

{Where am I?}

Now, instead of sitting at my desk, I sit up on the grass.

I put my hands on the ground, and I roll a blade between my fingers, only to feel petals on the top.

I’m sitting on some flowers, not on grass, apparently. I’m not at my desk in my precalculus class either.

{How did I get here? How do I get home so I can watch YouTube—or how do I get back to class—but mostly home so I can watch YouTube? {How am I gonna get there without my cane?}

After groping around on the ground for several moments, I find my cane not too far away. My backpack is also close by. I check to make sure nothing important is missing: my phone, water bottle, wallet, BrailleNote, MP3 player, and flash drive are still there. Good. I take a quick sip of water, then check the time on my phone. It says, “12:00 PM.”

”But my class started at 1:00 and ends at 2:05…”

{Well I’m not going to figure out where the fuck I am without walking around a bit…}

I stand up, extending my cane out to its full length, arcing it along the ground in front of me to detect obstacles. After only a few steps, the tip of my cane hits a wall. I follow it, and after several seconds of walking, I find another.

”Why’s this room have flowers for a floor?”

I follow the second wall, reaching my free hand over every few steps to touch it. Nothing changes for a while, until eventually, I find a groove there, and the texture of the wall changes, becoming more smooth. Just before the texture change, a tall, thin, cylindrical bump protrudes from the wall.

It’s the edge of a door, but not the side with the handle. It’s the edge of the door with the hinge.

I walk a couple feet further and reach over expectantly, finding the handle.

Well at least I know where this door is. I’ll figure out what the rest of the room looks like and see if there are more doors. If not I’ll come back over here and open it.

After circumventing the room, I don’t find any other doors, so I return to the door I did find, switching my cane to my left hand momentarily to open it. Air wooshes past my back as the door swings open behind me. I switch my cane back to my right hand and take a couple steps forward.

Listen to this song!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oB_lKI1o754

“Howdy! It’s me, Flowey! Flowey the Flower!”

“What the fuck—!?” I start to ask.

“You heard me!” He…? Flowey… says, pausing for a moment.

“Hmmm. You’re new to the Underground, aren’t you—?”

“Hold up—you mean underground like the black market? Or underground like literally underground?”

“The second one.”

Flowey’s… completely baffled. “You know we’re actually underground right—?”

“No—I can’t see so no—“

“So that’s why you have the stick—“

“Cane—“

“Right. But golly! You must be sooo confused!”

“Yeah—that’s an understatement—”

{Is he high? Is he one of those guys who lures kids away to…

{He’s hella weird…}

“Since you have no idea where you are or what to do, someone ought to teach you how things work around here!” he continues. “I guess little old me will have to do.”

I laugh a little. “Oh come on you can’t be that old… or little…” I reply.

“Wait…” Flowey contemplates for a moment. “What do you mean ‘You can’t be that little? I’m just a little flower!”

“Well I wouldn’t know that without you telling me,” I start to explain. “I literally can’t see you so I don’t know what you look like.”

“Well that doesn’t matter, doesn’t it?” Flowey says enthusiastically. “I’ll still teach you how things work around here!”

“Wait what do you mean ‘around here’? Where am I?”

“The underground! Didn’t you hear me say that?”

{On the other hand I don’t’ know how the hell to get out of here… so…}

“Okay. You’ll have to describe everything you’re doing though.”

“Sure!” Flowey asks, “Ready?”

“Yeah…?”

“Here we go!”

My cane flies out of my hand. My feet leave the floor.

“What the--?” I ask again. “How far up am I?”

“Don’t worry! It’s not that far.” Flowey explains. “What does matter is that around you right now, there is a heart. That is your soul, the very culmination of your being. Your soul starts out weak, but it can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV!”

“You mean levels?” I ask.

“No silly! LV means love!”

“And Love is…”

“Having a lot of LV makes you strong, but you only have 1 LV right now. You want some LV, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but how do you know how much LV I have, and if I gain LV, how will I know how much LV I have? Do I have a name tag, but for my… Love, on me?”

Wait…

He knows it on sight.

I should know it too… somehow…

I stop and think for a moment. In my head, I, imagine? No… sense… the number 1. Like imagining what an object feels like, I can sense the number 1 in my mind. It’s like knowing where my body is in space at all times without actually touching it.

“Flowey, do you know me?” I ask.

“No! But that isn’t the point!” Flowey sounds a little hurried. “I’m going to share some LV with you.”

“I can’t earn LV by myself? You can tell me how to earn it, then I can be on--”

“Don’t worry, it will be much easier if I share some LV with you.” Flowey seems even more hurried now. “Down here, LV is shared through little white… friendliness pellets!”

{Wait what? Those sound like a drug… please dear Alvis please no I don’t want to take any drugs yet…}

“Are you ready? Move around! Get as many as you can.”

“How will I find them? I can’t see them…” I trail off awkwardly.

“I’ll bring them to you!”

“Okay.”

I reach out my hands, only to feel pain. “Fuck you can’t be serious…”

“YOU IIIIDIOT! IN THIS WOOOOORLD, IIIIT’S KIIIILL OR BEEEEE KIIIIILLED!”

Flowey’s voice, but, angry. Harsh. Distorted. Screaming as the sound of friendliness pellets fills the air.

“Why would anyone pass up an opportunity like this!?”

The sound of the friendliness pellets all around me… coming closer…

They’re here.

Pain, all around me. I scrunch up, forgetting I’m hovering in midair. Wherever I ended up, I’ll die here… wherever the fuck here is… Alone. Afraid…

“DIE!!!”

Not like this. Dear Alvis, not like this!!!

Evil laughter…

Well maybe a little more than evil…

Then, a sudden flash of heat, and a startled gasp from Flowey. His voice goes back to normal again.

I drop to the ground on my back. I sit up heavily, feeling the pain coarse through me.

Watch the following video until 1:21, or as close as possible, then close it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3obHXIVk5Q&index=5&t=81s&list=PL7Ic3f2gdYDigqPC--ZEtUh_tfLByVDFi#t=01m02s

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth.”

A female voice, coming closer. I sense and hear her kneel in front of me, her voice coming from just above my head. “Ah, do not be afraid, my child. I am Toriel, caretaker of the ruins. I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down.”

“Jesus fucking hell… ……” I mumble.

I owe her… Fuck I didn’t say that out loud…

“What is Jesus, my child?”

I know there are people who don’t have a religious affiliation, but this takes the cake...

Utter confusion, on her part and mine. “He’s… it’s… nothing. never mind. I’m sorry…”

“If you say so. Come. I will guide you through the catacombs. This way.”

A hand brushes against mine, and I grab it, standing, whincing as the pain racks my body. I lean against her. Her arm brushes against mine as she says softly near my ear, “I will heal you as we walk along. Walk as normal, if you can, my child.

As she helps support me,I feel… hair?

No.

Fur…

There’s fur on her arms, not hair.

She’s… not human… not completely…

I can’t care about that now. As long as she doesn’t imitate another horror film like Flowey did, we’ll be good… And besides as long as I have my cane, I’ll be able to get away from her…

But where the hell is it?

“Toriel, where’s my cane? It’s a red and white stick lying on the ground. It should be close by.”

She places it in my hand gently. “Here it is, my child. But may I ask, why do you need this particular stick? There are plenty of other sticks around here, and much thicker and longer ones at that.”

{I’ve done this before. Not like this, but it’s not new to me.}

“I… it’s just the right size for me. Blind people use them, all the time, to get around. I arc it on the ground while I walk so I don’t bump into things.”

As we start walking, I move my hand up her arm to her elbow, switching arms so my cane is on our right side.

After a few steps, Toriel suddenly lets go of me, and I feel a tug on my cane. “You have no need to use that when you are with me, my child. I will make sure you are safe from harm.”

I try to explain: “No I understand… and I’m soooo grateful you’re helping me… it’s just… after Flowey, I’d feel safer with it. That, and I always use it if I have it. Even before I came here I did that. And besides I have to learn how to walk around this place.”

As we continue to walk, I feel something warm pass by my face. I let go of Torial and try finding its source. I touch a hard, round object suspended in midair.

*Listen to the song!*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K276nkB293A

[The shadow of the ruins looms above, filling you with determination.]

“What the—?” I mutter, only for Toriel to edge closer to me. “Are you all right, my child?” she asks concernedly.

“I’m fine… just… this place is weird… Just, worn out…”

“We can rest here for now while I inform you of the nature of the ruins, if you wish.”

After reorienting so she faces me and helping me sit on the ground in front of her, Toriel begins to speak. “Welcome to your new home, innocent one. Allow me to educate you in the operation of the ruins.”

Toriel starts to walk, several clicking sounds accompanying her footsteps. Some distance away, she stops, and I hear a louder clicking sound. She hurriedly walks back to me, placing my hand between hers.

“The ruins are full of puzzles, ancient fusions between diversions and doorkeys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them.” She tells me, leaning down to my height.

“uh…”

Toriel inhales sharply. “I am sorry, little one. I have never met anyone who cannot see before. I will be more considerate in the future.”

“Ehh, It’s okay. At least I know there are a lot of puzzles now. The thing is is that I don’t know what you did to solve that puzzle. Can you show me what it feels like?”

Toriel gasps a little. “Oh I could not, my child. It is much too dangerous for you to be interacting with the puzzles right now. But I will tell you what it is. There are six switches on the floor, and a lever on the wall. Near by, there is writing on the wall. It says, ‘Only the fearless may proceed. Brave one, foolish ones. Both not walk the middle road.’ There are markings around some of the switches, which I did not flip, because the writing says not to. The marked switches are on the middle path.”

“I guessed as much from the riddle...”

“You are very observant, my child.”

“When you have to learn how to walk around new places without being able to see, you have to be.”

“Should I continue?”

“Yeah.”

Toriel continues, “After flipping the appropriate switches, I flipped the lever on the wall. Then, the door in front of us opened. Do you understand what I did in order to solve this puzzle, little one?”

“I mean, it didn’t seem that hard. The only thing was that if I tried solving this by myself, I wouldn’t have known about the writing on the wall, so I would have just pressed all the switches until the door opened.”

“This is precisely why I must guide you through the ruins, my child. You cannot navigate them alone, since all of them require sight to solve. Come. There is a second puzzle in the next room.”

She helps me to my feet, and we walk down the hallway and through the door. She stops again.

“To make progress here, you must trigger several switches. Do not worry. I have labeled the ones that you need to flip.”

“How will I know which ones you labeled?”

“I’ve taped a piece of paper to each of the switches you need to flip, innocent one. They are on the wall. Should I walk you over to them?”

I try not to sound too annoyed. Like, she saved my life, for Monado’s sake… and if people… no… if monsters… like Flowey live down here, I’ll need to go slow. Even so, I can find the switches if they’re on the wall. I can’t walk over them by accident.

“I’ll walk along the wall until I find them. You can watch me so I do okay.”

“I will do that, my child. If you ever have trouble finding the switches, do not hesitate to let me know.”

I start to trail the nearby wall, hitting my cane against it every couple feet. I put my other hand on it, feeling for any switches. When I find the first one, I confirm there is a piece of paper on it, and then I pull it. I do so with the second switch and hear a grinding sound. “What was…?”

“There were some spikes in front of the door in front of us, little one. When you pressed the two switches, the spikes retracted into the floor. It is also important to note that there was writing on the wall which said ‘Stay on the path.’ There are two paths across this room, and the second switch you flipped was on the path we were supposed to walk.”

“Okay. So if there’s a puzzle, any switches I flip will solve it?”

Toriel takes my hand and leads me into the next room as she replies, “Precisely, my child. This is the next puzzle. Should I describe it to you?”

I laugh. “Well I wont’ know how we’re going to solve it if you don’t…”

“Very well. We are standing in the eastern part of the room. In the middle of the room, there is a plaque reading ‘The western room is the eastern room’s blueprint.’ There are spikes in the eastern part of this room, so we must follow the path drawn out in the western room.”

“What path do we have to take?”

“I will help you walk through the spikes, so you need not worry. But, since you must know how the ruins operate…”

She pauses for a moment. “May I have your hand? I will hold your…” she pauses uncertainly, “cane, in the meantime.”

I hold out a hand, and Toriel places a fingertip on it. I use my other hand to feel what she draws on my palm. When she finishes, she hands my cane back to me and asks, “Do you understand what we have to do to traverse this room, insightful one?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

As we walk across and out of the room, I inwardly thank Alvis that Toriel is accommodating for me. With no way of gaining my bearings, no protection, no familiarity with the nature of this location at all, I have no one to turn to for advice. She has no incentive to help me, and yet, here she is, taking the time to describe hazardous puzzles in inhospitable environments to a blind person.

After a little more walking, we stop, and I hear Toriel turn a little toward me. “As a human living in the underground, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a fight. While you are in a fight, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come and resolve the conflict. Practice talking to the dummy.”

I walk forward until my cane bumps the dummy. When it does, my feet leave the ground. “Uh… what do I say to it?” I call out, twisting my body around a little so I can ask Toriel.

Toriel doesn’t respond.

{Why talk to the dummy if it’s not alive? That’s stupid…}

Instead of talking to the dummy, I contemplate what she has told me.

“When you encounter a monster, you will enter a fight.”

I encountered Flowey when I first arrived here.

Flowey is a monster, so I entered a fight with him when I saw him. Met him…

“Toriel,” I call out again, “do I have to talk to every monster I meet?”

“Why would you ask such a thing, insightful one? Although monsters may attack you, you should not hurt them. This is why I am having you practice talking to the dummy.”

“What if I don’t know what to say?”

“You do not have to talk to every monster you meet. However as long as I am here, you have no need to fear.”

“So I can run away?” I ask. “If I get into a fight, and you’re not there to end it before I can get hurt, I can just run away?”

“Yes, my child. In your case, this may be the only way you can stand a chance against most of the monsters down here, since you...”

She stops uncertainly, saying the next few words as if they are in a foreign language. “Since you cannot see, and do not know what appeases each monster. This is why I must accompany you for the time being.”

I nod. “Okay.”

I turn back around and face the dummy. “Hi? How’s life?”

I wait a few seconds and then keep talking. This was… weird… to say the least. It was like some weird RPG…

Wait.

Like some weird RPG…

Like some… weird RPG…

“Have a nice day.” I try to contain my excitement as my feet touch the floor again. “Where are we going next?” I ask Toriel as she takes my arm and leads me out of the room.

After a few more steps, we stop. “You have done excellently thus far, my child. However, I have a difficult request to ask of you. I want you to walk to the other end of the room by yourself.”

I laugh a little. “Okay… I swear if this room has a lot of puzzles in it…” I start before beginning to walk. I automatically veer off to one side, trailing one wall. Leaves and vines crunch and squish under my feet. I hear Toriel walking along behind me. After a couple minutes, I reach the other wall. I walk along it, only to find a pillar a little off to one side, preventing me from trailing it any longer.

“Greetings my child. Do not worry. I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me.”

Toriel’s voice, from right next to me. “Well I heard you stop walking, so I knew you were near by. You didn’t have to follow me all the way here. I’ve had people tell me to walk places on my own before to see if I’d learned the route right, but… this is different right?”

She walks a little closer to me and sits down. I sit down next to her, and she places her hand on my knee, patting it affectionately. “there was in important reason for this exercise: to test your independence.”

“I had to learn to be independent a long time ago. I didn’t have someone like you around all the time to help me.”

“All the more important I learn how well you can cope on your own, curious one. However I must tell you something. I must attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while. Please remain here. It’s dangerous to explore by yourself.”

Toriel’s hand brushes mine, and she places a rectangular object in my hand. “I will give you a cell phone. If you have a need for anything, just call.”

“What’s your number?” I ask. “If this phone doesn’t have a voiceover, I won’t be able to use it.”

“What is a ‘voice over, my child?”

Utter confusion.

{How the hell does she not know about voiceover on phones?}

[She didn’t know you were blind until a couple minutes ago. Cut her some slack.]

I suppose he’s… she’s… they’re… right.

Wait.

He? She? They?

Who is…?

Why am I asking “who is” if Toriel and I am the only ones here?

Am I crazy?

Why am I questioning me asking if I’m crazy?

I feel the cell phone over. Dear Alvis it’s a flip phone…

The underground must not have the same level of technology as Cupertino… the United States…

[Your world…]

{My world…}

I try to explain as simply as I can. “The phone I use can talk, so when I dial the numbers, it says them aloud. Also when someone calls me, it says their phone number or name aloud so I know who it is.”

Toriel makes a distraught sound. “Oh I am so sorry my child. Even though this cell phone does not have a,” she hesitates again, “voice over, you have no reason to feel lost. I will be the only one calling you. So if it rings, you will know it is me.”

I take my backpack off and take out my phone. “Can you tell me your number? I can enter it in here.”

“What is… what is that, innocent one?”

Astonishment. Complete, and utter stonishment.

{She’s never seen a smartphone before?}

[Yeah.]

The voice again.

I reply to it… them… inwardly: {I suppose… what is this? The ‘90s?}

“It’s a different kind of cell phone. I can enter your number so when you call, it says your name aloud.”

“But how will you dial my number if your cell phone has no buttons, resourceful one?”

Okay. Toriel’s nice. Like, she saved my life nice. Nice probably isn’t even the right word--

Fuck it it’s true.

I can’t help it.

{wow… she doesn’t know about touchscreens?}

I unlock my phone and start adding a new contact. “If you touch the phone’s screen, it will type a letter or number. And when the voiceover is on, if I touch that same spot, it will say the letter or number aloud. Toriel, how do I spell your name? And what’s your number?”

When Toriel next speaks, she sounds much less surprised. “I am… happy you can do this by yourself, insightful one. I will help you.”

After entering Toriel’s contact information into my phone, she stands up. At least I can rest assured you will be safe with your own cell phone. I am leaving now. I will call you periodically to ensure you are safe. Be good, all right?”

She walks away, a door opening, then closing behind her.

[Come on. You’re seriously going to stay here? Don’t you wanna know what the ruins are like?]

The voice again.

I say aloud, “I do but Toriel said to stay here.”

[You’ll be fine. You have a phone. And me.]

“Okay… but who are you? Am I crazy?”

[Yeah you’re crazy. You’re staying in this boring room. And I’m your… sighted guide… At least that’s what you call people like me. Come on!]

“Okay…”

After taking a couple more sips of water, I pack my bag and stand up. Before I can move on, however, the voice pipes up again.

[Good thing you drank that. Your HP is a little low, even after using that save point so soon. Being with Toriel must have drained it, even though it healed you fully not long ago and she was also healing you.]

“HP? Save point? What is... what are…?” I begin to ask.

A light chuckle. [I know you know what HP is! And save points! I know what you know, you know... What does HP usually stand for?]

“Health Points?” I say aloud.

Leaving the floor when encountering monsters.

Encountering monsters being called fights.

Love.

I have 1 LV.

LV also stands for levels, where I’m from...

Like a weird RPG…

Like… a… weird… RPG…

“This world… it’s an RPG! It’s Pokémon but I can talk to enemies if I don’t want to fight! I don’t have to either fight or run away. Oh my Goooood!”

[You seem excited.]

“Of course I’m excited! I’m in a fucking RPG, for crying out loud! The only video games I can play are RPGs! And I’ve done challenge runs for Pokémon games! This place has save points, like ChronoTrigger! I know how this world works! And assuming Flowey wasn’t lying… you can sense my HP?”

[Yeah. You can too.]

I stand still a moment. At first the number 1 stands out clearly in my mind’s eye. However, after a couple moments, the number… no… the fraction… 12/20 manifests itself.

That is my HP.

My HP is… kinda bad...

[Are you done freaking out now? We have puzzles to solve!]

“But what if monsters attack me? I—“

[You mean us…]

“What if… monsters attack us? I don’t know what to say…”

[I do. I’ll help you.]

“You know this place?”

[Yeah. Why?]

“Nothing…”

Soon, I find the door and walk into the next room.

[There’s a save point a few feet in front of you. That and a Froggit. Try talking to him to see what he’s like. He’s to your right.]

I turn to the right and walk forward a couple steps. “Hi…” I say slowly.

“Ribbit Hello human. How are you? Ribbit.”

“I’m doing okay… I’m alone because Toriel left me here…” I explain. “I was supposed to stay in the room behind us until she comes back… but… ehh…”

“Ribbit. But you are here instead. Why? Ribbit?”

“I want to know what else is around here. I can’t see, so I need all the information I can get about this place.”

“Ribbit. In that case, I have some advice for you about battling monsters. If you act a certain way, or fight until you almost defeat them, they might not want to battle you anymore. If a monster does not want to fight you, please, use some mercy, human. Ribbit.”

[Is that like the weird RPG you were yelling about?]

Yeah.

“How will I know it’s time to use some mercy?”

“Ribbit. Monsters will glow yellow when they no longer feel threatened. Ribbit.”

The Froggit stops suddenly. “Ribbit w-wait you can’t see. I’m s-sorry, human. They w-will also ask f-for mercy, too. That is our custom. S-sorry. Ribbit.”

“Ehh, it’s all good. I’ll probably have to tell this to everyone I meet down here anyway. Thank you.”

“Ribbit. You’re welcome. Ribbit.”

I turn away and start walking again. To the save point?

[To the save point!]

I walk forward until I feel the warmth of the save point on my cheek. I reach out a hand and touch it.

[Crinkling through the leaves fills you with determination. HP fully restored.]

{Nice.}

[Yeah. And by the way I’ll tell you if you can use mercy on a monster. That’s called sparing them. I got you!]

{Okay, Where to next?}

[Up north, there’s a room with some free food. And I know you like that. And you need it too.]

“Fooooood!”

“Who knew binge-playing all those Pokémon games and Xenoblade would come in handy someday?”

Chapter Text

2

*Four pieces of Monster Candy later…*

[Dude you already picked it all up there’s nothing left…]

“Fine… Where to next.”

[Get out of here then I’ll tell you.]

“What’s this Monster Candy anyway?”

[They’re little and white. Why?]

“Crap!!!! Like… friendliness pellets!! Nooooo—“

[They’re not related. They’re just hard candies that don’t taste like licorice.]

After leaving the Monster Candy bowl behind and walking through the other opening in the previous room, I suddenly stop before I can go farther. I try taking another step, but my legs don’t move. [Nooooooo stoooooop!]

“Whyyyyy?”

[There’s cracks in the floor! I stopped you from falling! Well I guess I could have let you keep walking…]

“Whyyyy?”

[It’s the only way to progress.]

“But wouldn’t I have gotten hurt?”

[1 You have the monster candy you’re good. And 2 you have save points., You could have just respawned a couple rooms ago.]

“Okay… let’s go then…”

[Walk forward a few more steps.]

*A few steps later…*

My cane swings out over empty space. I stick it vertically down into the hole, but it doesn’t touch the floor below.

“I hope you know what you’re doing…”

[You know I do… Just bend your legs. From what I… from what you know, that supposedly dampens the fall…]

I jump… and land on my feet. “How far was…?”

[More than you are tall. Not too bad. Just walk over to the right a little and you’ll find the way out.]

“Okay…”

*A few more steps later…*

“I climb this?”

[Yeah. It’s not too bad. After you get out just keep walking until I tell you to stop. Or till I stop you from walking… Put away your cane though ‘cause it’s narrow…]

“The claustrophobia is real...”

[Meh. You’ll know when it’s over…]

After crawling up a few? A few dozen more? Feet, I feel a flat surface. I stand up again, unfold my cane, and keep walking. After several more feet, my feet route to the floor. [A wild puzzle appears!]

“Oh great this place will be full of Zubat…”

[Yeah pretty much. But this isn’t so bad. Just remember that three out of four grey rocks recommend you push them.]

“Like how nine out of ten dentists recommend Crest toothpaste?”

[Just trust me. Walk a little more and you’ll run into a rock. Then I’ll help you push it.]

“How heavy is the rock?”

[It’ll slide along the floor when you push it.]

I find the rock, fold my cane up again, and grasp the rock with both hands. After about a minute of instruction, I hear a grinding sound. “What was…?”

[There were some spikes. The rock activated a switch underneath that tile. Now there are more cracks in the floor, but--]

“Oh dear Alvis no….”

[Well you’ll only fall if you don’t walk in the way I tell you to walk… which you aren’t stupid enough to do…]

This inner voice has a lot of faith in me…

{You don’t know anything about me…}

[Oh yeah? I can hear you… in your own head]

{Okay…}

[If you were so stupid, you wouldn’t have figured out how this world works so fast…]

“Truuuue…? Well binje-playing RPGs and abusing saving in my challenge runs also helps…”

[So come on… cut yourself some slack… You could say that my amazing encouraging presence fills you with… determination!]

“True…”

[Seriously man you can do better than that… I’ve found a lot of hype memes in your head. And from what I hear… well from what you remember, if you do hype things you’ll actually feel that way, even if you didn’t… I can sense you thinking about what to say… Just… dooooo iiiiit!]

“I’m really feeling it!”

[There… now to the puzzle. In a few more feet there are more cracks in the floor. But if you walk over them a certain way you’ll get across. So take it slow. And I’ll be controlling your body again.]

“What if I fall?”

[It’s not that far down. A little deeper than where you jumped. And if you’re really that freaked out that’s what save points are for…]

“Can you help me get back?”

[Sure.]

After using the most recent save point, I return back to the new puzzle. [Okay let’s go. You’ll be… unresponsive… until you get across. But it’s for a good reason. You got this!]

“If we don’t try it we’ll never know!”

Loop until the next note.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ6ppbOfEfQ

After a couple minutes of slowly walking across the room, we stop on fully flat ground. I sigh. “Oh thank Alvis we’re--“

I hear a rustling sound not too far away.

“Oh no…”

[It’s just a Moldsmal. Nothing to worry about.]

“Of course I don’t have to worry! It’s juuuuuust a fucking Pokémon encounter in real life! Nothing to see here—“

[Well you can’t—]

“Shut up!”

My feet leave the floor.

“What do I do? I’m not armed so I have to talk…”

[Flirt with it.]

“Whaaaaaaat what the fuck?”

[Come on you heard me—I know you’re not deaf yet…]

“Flirt…?” I repeat. “What does the… Moldsmal… look like?”

[Little and jiggly… Like, knee-high little and jiggly…]

“Like Ditto?”

[From what I know you know about Ditto, then… yes but it’s green…? Wait do you know what--]

{Yeah I do. I could see when I was young so…}

“So I just say something nice about jello?”

[Yeah. And oh yeah and wiggle your hips too.]

“Oh heeeeeell noooo!!”

[They’ll be more likely to spare you.]

I sigh. “Fine.

“Where is it?”

[Walk forward about five feet. Then you’ll be above them, but a few feet in front of them.]

After doing so, I call out, “Animators designing female characters can learn a lot from you…”

[That’s a nice thing to say to anime characters--not jellow…]

*Cue dying a little inside from stupid because… wiggling my hips...*

“You owe me…”

Another rustling sound… but it’s… rhythmic. [It’s wiggling back and forth in response--]

“Ugh!”

[--and glowing yellow.]

A relieved sigh. “Okay how do I spare it?”

[Just say it.]

I clear my throat, and, holding back the awkwardness, I call out, “I spare you.”

More rustling sounds. [It’s gone.]

More relieved sighing.

[Oh and before you withdraw into yourself ‘cause you made a reference no one down here’ll understand, check your pockets...]

In one pocket of my shorts, there are my earphones, and in the other, I reach my fingers in and feel…

“What is…?”

[Gold. You got one from sparing the Moldsmal.]

“If it takes this much grinding to get gold around here I’ll never be able to buy anything…”

[You’ll be fine. There’s plenty of free stuff. Like in the next room… Well more like in one of the next rooms.

[Below us there are six rooms. There’s writing on the wall saying ‘There is only one switch.’]

“Where is it?”

[The openings to the six rooms below us are in a three-by-two pattern. The middle room in the top row has the switch. The upper left and lower right rooms have enemies. The Lower left room has free stuff.]

“Ooooh what is it?”

[You’ll see.]

“Let’s get the free stuff, then…”

{To fight the enemies or nah? I don’t know how powerful they are, so I can’t risk it… And besides, if the friendliness pellets are as painful as Flowey’s…}

“Take me to the room with the free stuff, then we’ll talk to the other monsters.”

My legs begin moving me forward. They bend under me and stiffen, and I jump down. [The Faded Ribbon is on the ground to your right.]

“What’ll a Faded Ribbon do for me?”

[Make it so any damage you take is reduced by 3, in addition to your defense stat… Come on you’re the one who said this world is an RPG! You know how armor works!]

“Truuuuue…” I bend over and feel for the ribbon and pick it up. “How will this protect me?”

[Tie it onto you, or wind it around you somewhere. Maybe your lanyard?]

“But what if it falls off?”

[It should be long enough to tie your hair up with.]

“Okay…”

As I climb back up onto the first floor, the voice asks, [To the Vegetoids?]

“More monsters?”

[Yeah. Jump down here and I’ll help you.]

I jump, but as soon as my feet touch the floor, they leave it again. “What do I do?”

[Pat your stomach! Now!]

“Why? Because this monster likes fat people? We already have an obesity problem wait fuuuuuuuck!!!! You don’t know about America…”

[I’m just gonna ignore that… and no! Exactly the opposite! It’s a carrot with a face…]

“Okay…”

[And you’ll be happy I helped you get and equip that Faded Ribbon… Just get the Monster Candy out of your bag just in case.]

I pat my stomach awkwardly. Soon after, I hear some whooshing noises coming down from above. [I got you! And if you feel something hit you it’s okay. Some of these carrots are green. They’ll heal you for one HP.]

“Okay ahhhh!”

My body jerks around in midair. I feel some pointy objects prick my legs a few times, but just as many times, I sense my HP increase. The green carrots, I guess...

[Pat your stomach again…]

I do so. More carrots fly around me. I do this several more times before I’m told to stop. [They’re glowing yellow.]

“I spare you,” I call out. My feet hit the ground, and I hear a jingling sound from inside my pocket. “Gold just… shows up out of nowhere here?”

[Yeah.]

“Okay… that’s… nice… To the other monster!”

After fighting the second monster, a second Vegetoid, I jump down to the switch room and move on. As I walk into this room, my cane hits something. I reach out and realize it’s a pillar. “Another puzzle?”

[Yeah but this one’s weird. You actually walked through an empty room, which is part of the puzzle. That room had a plaque on the wall, which said ‘The far door is not an exit. It simply marks a rotation in perspective.’ Basically I’ll be walking you through these rooms to find three switches. The thing is is that this room rotates, so we can access the other rooms. You ready?]

“Yeah.”

[The first switch is near the entrance.]

After pressing that switch, I’m guided through the room a couple more times, pressing switches. When I press the last one, the grinding sound of spikes lowering echoes through the ruins. “What path did that unlock?”

[Come on. Almost there. Another rock puzzle, then a… surprise… Another few dozen feet]

“Okay…”

As we walk forward again, I sigh. “It’s so tedious… just… when can we get… I don’t know… home? Somewhere with Wifi and good food? Maybe I’ll find a way home soon…”

After another minute of walking, my legs stop moving. [There’s three more rocks here. I’ll tell you which one to push… well more like I’ll tell you which rock to ask to move for you…]

“I can’t even… I can’t even say anything about that anymore…”

I walk until I’m guided to the first rock. I reach out to touch it, only for it to push away a little. “Hey. You want me to move?”

“Hehhhh?”

“I said do you want me to move?”

“You’re a… talking rock?”

“Yes, actually.”

“But where are you… scooting… off to?”

“To unblock this bridge.”

“Okay… if you say so…”

I hear some grinding sounds. [He needs to move a little more.]

{A little more where?}

[He’ll know.]

“Uh… hey… can you please move a little more?”

“Okay. Like this?”

“Like how?”

“What do you mean, ‘Like how?’”

“I… can’t see you… like… at all… I’m trusting your judgment on this one…”

“Sure thing.”

After a little more grinding, the rock replies, “I’ve moved out of your way. Do you know there’s two more rocks in here?”

“Yeah… why?”

“Good thing you came to me. They didn’t have to be moved. You’re good now.”

“Thanks… I owe you…”

“Uh… talking rocks? I mean, he was nice but… only in the Underground…” I say under my breath after walking across the bridge. “Where to next?”

[Another save point![

“Thank Alvis…!”

[You’ll know it when you see it.]

“Whauw, whauw, whaaaauw…”

[Sorry not sorry.]

I walk forward and eventually feel the comforting glow of a save point by my cheek. [Knowing the mouse might one day leave its hole and get the cheese... It fills you with determination.]

“Wait whaaaaat?”

[There’s a mousehole in one wall. There’s also a table with some cheese on it--]

“Free food?”

[It’s stuck to the table…]

“Ewwwwwww!”

[This is why I’m here: so you don’t get food poisoning. And yes I know you can just spawn back at the save point you just used but come on…

[Anyway after you save here we’re almost home. Just… one last surprise…]

{A surprise being what?}

[Someone cool.]

After I touch the save point and walk out of the room, I’m about to ask who the surprise is when I feel a chill on my skin and hear… buzzing noises? “Why’s it cold? And what are…?”

“Are they gone yet?”

“Whoa…”

[Oh that’s Napstablook don’t worry. Just cheer him up and he’ll go away.

[He’s a bit… emo… though…”

My feet leave the floor, and I call out softly, “Uh… Napstablook… it’s okay… you’re much better off than me…”

“Heh.” Is the monotone reply. My body jerks aroun in midair for a few seconds.

“Seriously. At least you know how to get around I can’t even see it…”

“Heh heh… you don’t have to worry about phasing through walls by accident when you’re not paying attention…”

A wet splat on my skin… and my HP lowering down to seventeen… lowering to fourteen... [Oh yeah his attacks are tears--]

{Of course--}

[Cheer him up one more time…]

I think for a moment. {Must… not… sound… cheesy…}

“Don’t cry… save that for when it matters…”

My feet suddenly hit the floor again.

“Okay…

“Let me try...”

Some… squelching noises…

“I call it ‘dapper blook…’ do you like it...?”

A… whispery voice… next to my ear. {That’s what ghosts sound like down here…? Wait whaaat?}

[Whaaaaat what?]

{The ‘Dapper Blook…}

[It’s a top hat made of tears…]

I laugh aloud. “Okay that hat’s cool. But if you’re a ghost, how does it stay on your head???”

[He can be spared.]

I add quickly, “Can I feel it after I spare you? Like I can’t see it so…”

“Oh gee… Okay… if you say so…”

Some more gold falls into my pocket.

“I usually come to the RUINS because there's nobody around... but today I met somebody nice...”

“Thanks man. You’re pretty cool.”

“I'll get out of your way.”

“See you around.”

“I wish I could say that but—“

The cold feeling disappears, but a… wet… substance… drips down my face. [That’s the hat…]

“Oh… but how does anyone even…

“Let’s keep walking.”

[Up ahead there’s free stuff again!]

“Where!?”

[Just a little farther. I’ll let you know when we get there.]

After a couple minutes of walking and several more encounters, I stop. [The Toy Knife is at your feet.]

“How the hell will a Toy Knife help me? Even a butter knife is more useful…”

[It’s stronger than a stick… it has three attack…]

“I guess… but how will I wield it?”

[Put away your cane. Or at least get good at putting it away when you encounter a monster.]

“But I need—“

[Look man: your cane helps you not bump into things. I do that better, since your hands are free. And you’ll avoid hitting some monster by accident…]

“I guess…” With some… actually very much hesitation, I put away my cane and hold the Toy Knife in my left hand.

[I can tell that was hard on you. Well now that I’m in your body I understand now. Hold out a little longer. We’re almost home. We’ll backtrack a little to get there.]

After walking back the way we came a little and sparing a few more monsters, I’m directed to walk forward again, in a direction we hadn’t gone yet. Footsteps approach me. “Oh dear. That took me longer than I thought it would. How did you get here, my child? Are you hurt? There there; I will heal you—“

{Won’t she caaaaaaaalm doooooown???}

[Trust me she rarely does. When she’s worried, she gets worked up…]

“Toriel I’m fine. The monsters were nice, like you. And I found some stuff to heal me and protect me.”

[And you saved…]

{Does she know about that?}

[No…

[Just… don’t… … mention… … it…]

{Okay…?}

“I should not have left you alone for so long. It was irresponsible to try to surprise you like this… Well I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come, small one.”

“Like, where did you go…?”

As I follow Toriel, I feel the familiar glow of a save point near my cheek, and I touch it. [Seeing such a cute, tidy house in the RUINS gives you determination.]

I am about to inwardly respond when the voice chuckles and teases, [Yeah I know… *cue ‘You made a mistake.’ Sound…*]

Stop the music.

I walk a couple more steps, but Toriel lays a hand on my arm before I can continue. “Do you smell that?” she asks.

I sniff the air, and my mouth starts watering. “What is…?”

“It is a butterscotch cinamin pie. I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I thought you wanted to have a nice time living here, so I will hold off snail pie for tonight. But it is too hot to eat right now. Here. In the meantime, I have another surprise for you.”

She takes my arm and we walk to the right a little. “Here we are, a room of your own. Make yourself at home. There are some shoes beside the bed, if you wish to replace what you are currently wearing. Do you wish me to bring the pie to your room when it is finished?”

“Where’s the kitchen? If I’m gonna be staying here for a while, I have to know how to get around your house… And I might want to go out there to get the pie.”

“It is to the left of your room.”

“Okay. You can bring the pie to my room and then I’ll figure out where I want to eat it. Thank you Toriel. I can’t even begin…”

A soft. Kind laugh. “You are very kind my child, but it is not necessary that you thank me. I am merely… doing what any monster would do, if they knew you, and who you were.”

I nod. “I hope so… I hope there aren’t any more monsters like Flowey around…”

Toriel closes the door, and I take my shoes off. I drop my backpack at the foot of the bed, removing the BrailleNote and my phone from it. I place them, alongside my folded cane, on a near by table. [I’ll help you select the right size of shoes…]

“Okay… I’ll damn well need that since my right foot is flat…”

I sit down on the bed and reach over to check the time on my phone. The voiceover says, “2:00 PM.”

“Only?”

[Yeah I guess. Why? Did it feel like longer?]

“I suppose. What I want to know is how much battery I have left on my phone and the BrailleNote. I… I don’t know if they have Wifi here. And I’ll have to turn off everything on my phone that’s not the voiceover to save battery.”

I touch my finger to the upper-right corner of the lock screen, and my phone says, “80% battery power.”

“Time to turn off Wifi and Bluetooth and all the lights and to delete all the apps I never use…”

I go to Settings and hover my finger over the Wifi option. I’m about to enter the Wifi menu and turn the Wifi off, but my finger won’t move. [Check the signal thing.]

“Why?”

“Two of five bars,” the voiceover says.

“Wait whaaaaaat?”

[We both heard that… Seriously…]

“No not that! There’s Wifi heeeeeere!!!!”

[It kinda sucks here but it’s--]

“Trust me I’m just glad it works… Well I’ll only know that when I try connecting to Google… If Google works, then you know the Wifi suuuuucks…”

[Google… Wait ooooh that was your world’s home page… We don’t have that here… What you doing?]

“I’m seeing how advanced their… your? The, technology is…”

I open Safari and wait for the first web page to load. My phone says “Undernet home.” I find a list of links on the screen and choose one. They’re news stories about… different areas of the Underground, apparently… The voiceover reads off some headlines:

“Mettaton’s Next Show Airing Tomorrow Night at 8:00 Pm.”

“Mew Mew Kissy Cutey Marathon Tonight, Starting at 7:00 Pm.”

“Insightful one?”

Toriel rests her hand on my arm and pats it. “The pie is ready. What are you doing?”
As she asks this, she bends down to read my phone.

“There’s Wiiiiifiiiii!!! Thank Goooood! I know what the Underground is like! They’re… you all are… like home… but without politics…”

“But you are home now,” Toriel, tries to explain.

“I mean… home home…” I trail off.

Toriel grasps my arm. “I have brought the pie here with a tray in case you wanted to eat it here. Have you made your mind up yet?”

[From what I know about you you think knowledge is power. Toriel is right here. DO IT! JUST, DOOOO iiiiit!!!!--]

{Please stoooop… I know I got this.}

“I’ll eat the pie in the kitchen.”

“I will help you to the kitchen so you can eat the pie. You can also learn the way there so you can walk around by yourself.”

I reach over to unfold my cane, but my hand stops in midair. [No no noooo… I’m helping you out now… remember?]

{Yeah... Sorry… just… habit…}

I walk out with Toriel to the kitchen, sitting down and reaching out with both hands as she scoots a plate of hot pie toward me. As I pick it up and start smearing cinamin and butterscotch filling all over my face, Toriel quietly starts to speak. “I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There’s so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot.”

“Well you can catch the bugs and I can feel them, more like…”

“I am fully aware of that, my child. I’ve also prepared a curriculum for your education.”

“Uh… I’m already in college… I’m a freshman…”

A surprised gasp from Toriel. “Child—I mean… I did not know… I am sorry… You are not a child, then…”

“Ehh. Not for humans… maybe not for monsters either…”

“How old are you, my—insightful one?”

“Eighteen. I’ll be nineteen in… what month is it?”

“September, my child.”

“My name is Pauline. And my birthday is in January.”

“Then you would have been born in January of 183X, Pauline.”

The firstbout of genuine confusion in a couple hours.

“Whaaaat? What do you mean 183X?”

“That is the year, my child.”

“What year is it?”

“It is 201X right now.”

An amused chuckle. ”This may come as a surprise to you, but I have always wanted to be a teacher.”

A laugh of my own, but much louder. “Well you’re pretty damn good at it… if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have figured out how the puzzles work.”

[Hey!]

{I’m trying to be nice… and it’s true… before I knew about you.}

“But the thing is… is that since I can’t see, I won’t be able to read the books you have since they’re not in braille.”

“What is braille, Pauline?”

[Finally, you’re the one giving the answers to stuff…]

{I know right?}

“Well,” I begin, “it’s like letters and numbers, but for blind people. It’s made of six dots, three rows by two columns. Different combinations of dots make letters and numbers.”

I pause, contemplating for a second. “Normally, there would be a machine around that I could use to write out some braille, but…”

Toriel stands from the table, walking away. “Do you need objects to substitute for dots, my child?”

“Yeah. The problem is that you don’t have a brailler, so you can’t write the braille out on paper…”

“What is a… brailler… made of, Pauline?”

“The thing is is that I’ve used a brailler, but I don’t know what it looks like. We couldn’t make one, even if you had the materials. We can use a slate and stylus for now.”

“What does it look like? I can make it for us, resourceful one.”

I laugh again. “Well, the one I have has four rows of cells and enough cells per row to go across a normal sheet of paper, whatever size that is for you. We’re going to be writing a lot. Make one as large as your regular size sheet of paper for now…”

Chapter Text

3

[WAAAAAKE UUUUUUUP!!!!!]

More tired than curious: “The fuuuuck?”

I foooooorgoooooot soooooomethiiiiiing yeeeeeeesteeeeeerdaaaaaay!!!]

“Wait what yesterdaaaay...?” I mumble into my... I mean, the pillow…

[There was something in the ruins I forgot to show you!]

“What.”

[Foooooood!]

“Free food?”

[No... but it's good food...]

“Too lazy… What time is it?”

[Reyn time!]

“Oh heeell noooo!”

[But for real it's like nighttime, but like, really early morning but you pretend it's nighttime still so you can be lazy nighttime... Check your phone.]

I reach over, unlock my phone, and check the time. “6:30 P.M.”

“So it's not late afternoon, evening-ish... then?”

[Let's just say it's 6:30 P.M your world's time, where you live, but it's literally a little after sunrise...]

“Underground???”

[Light shines through the barrier. And they use that to tell the time.]

“How do I figure out what time it is then? I have to change it on my phone to match the time here.”

[Ask Toriel.]

“She's awaaaaaake???? It soooo earrrrly...!”

[She doesn't sleep all in one sitting, like, eight hours at a time. If you don't believe me go to the living room...]

“Okay. But first... where the hell's the bathroom?”

[The door right outside here. I bet Toriel'll notice you're awake... well, up out of bed for some reason... and bring your phone and the BrailleNote with you.]

In a couple minutes, I… we walk into the living room. After a little more walking I stop. Reaching out, I feel the arm of a chair… and then someone's hand lying on the arm. “Good morning, my... I mean, Pauline.”

"Morning."

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah. I’m used to napping at weird times of the day… and going to sleep late at night…”

“Do you need anything?”

“I... uh... I just wanted to know what time it is right now... I need to change the time on my phone 'cause if I'm going to be here a while, I'll need to get used to it...”

“I understand my child. There is a clock above the fireplace. It says 10:15 in the morning. There is a second chair next to mine. You can sit down there while you fix your time. Here.”

She takes my arm and walks me a couple feet to one side and I sit down. “After you fix your cell phone and... BrailleNote, I have a surprise for you.”

“Okay.”

A couple minutes later, Toriel walks over to my chair and asks, “I will lead you over to the dining table. I have been thinking about what you have told me. I hope I have… done well...”

After sitting me down in a chair, she guides my hand across the table. My fingertips touch... something... “There are two objects in front of you. Please pick them up, my child.”

[Daaaaamn sooooooon.]

{I can't even...}

[If you were talking to literally anyone else you'd say it too...]

{Truuuuue... The cells are a little... not the same size... but for the most part it's fine.}

[And the stylus is metal, so that's good... so it will last.]

{Truuuuue...}

“Pauline? Is the... slate and stylus... satisfactory?” Toriel asks in an expectant voice.

“You, made this???,” Much of the tone I would have used if I had said “Daaaaaamn soooon” is evident regardless.

A brief, soft laugh. “Of course my child. I worked on it outside while you were asleep. And—“ She holds out her hand, placing some flat metal discs in my hand, “I have created some, braille dot, substitutes, so we do not waste paper. I have also made some frames to put them in.”

“Hooooly shit you worked with metal? For me?”

[And you said “Daaaaaamn soooooon” wasn’t appropriate…]

{I know I know…}

“If that is what it takes for you to be happy here, I will gladly do it again, my child. Is there anything I need to fix? I followed your description as best I could.”

“Some of the cells are larger than others and the round insides of some of the cells aren'the same size or evenly spaced out either.”

“I will keep this in mind. Before you came, I decided on the ingredients and did most of the preparation for our next meal. I will begin the cooking, and while that happens, we may talk.”

{How the hell do I even start?}

[You got this! You just... start small...]

“Toriel?” I call out.

“Yes? I am lighting the fire for the toast.”

{Lighting the fire?}

[She's using magic. She has a stove but she doesn't use it.]

{Okay...?}

[Yeah, like, she used a fireball to scare away Flowey... And how do you think she did the metallurgy for the slate and stylus?]

{Coooool!}

[I know right?]

“You might wanna get a pencil and a piece of paper so you can write this stuff down...”

The swooshing and crackling of a newly-lit fire. Footsteps. A chair scraping across the floor... and Toriel's hand on my shoulder. “May I sit here my child? It will be easier for you to give feedback on my... braille that way.”

“Oh yeah... 'cause if you sit over there—“ I point in front of me, to where Toriel had been sitting before, “your braille would be upside down for me...”

She piles the metal discs in my hand. “I am ready.”

“Well, like, this is the braille cell. This one's dot 1, this one's dot 2...”

... “The letter ‘a’ is dot 1 only. ‘b’ is dots 1-2.”

“Is ‘c’ dots 1-2-3?”

“No... that's ‘l’.”

... “Is this the letter ‘h’?”

“That's "’j’. ’J’ is 2-4-5. "H" is 1-2-5. ‘D’ and ‘f’ are flipped. And ‘r’ and ‘w’ are too". ‘E’ and ‘I’ are too...”

... “Pauline, how do these feel?”

“Uh... a through l are fine. But the bottom dot on the ‘m’ should be in the lower left, not the lower right. M is 1-3-4, not 1-4-6.”

... [Whaaaaat???? So quickly…?]

{What do you mean?}

“Is this what my name would look... feel... like, in braille?”

“Yeah! But you put a dot 6 before the ‘t’. You put a dot 6 before a capital letter.”

“What if all letters in a word are capitalized? Do you put a dot 6 before each letter?”

“You put two dot 6s before the first letter of the word.”

“How will I braille any of these old books if I cannot write sentences?”

“The thing is is that most braille books aren't written like this. They're written in grade 2 braille. This is grade 1 braille.”

“How is grade 2 braille different from grade 1 braille?”

“It has contractions... like the two letters ‘en’ are the dots 2-6. but it's complicated... Mormally there'd be reference materials for them I could use but...”

“Just name them… as many as you can... and I can write them down...”

{That patience though…}

“It'd take a while... and you’d have to know the grade 1 braille first... And if you have any math books or anything with numbers, that’s also different… And even now I don’t know all of that kind of braille…”

“Is that how you learned braille? You learned grade 1 first?”

“Yeah. But I learned contractions when I was young. It took... uh.. a long time... to learn them all.”

“We have time my child. But first... I will make lunch. It is 12:45. Then I will fix the slate and stylus. Then you can figure out what you want to do.”

[Ask her about the food... to go outtside to find it...]

“Oh yeah after lunch can I please go back into the ruins? I haven't seen everything yet!”

“Of course my child Just bring your phone. If you ever get lost, just call me.”

“The problem is that I don’t have a charger for my phone. So eventually it will run out and I won’t be able to use it anymore. So I’ll have to use yours…”

“I will give you my spare phone after we eat. Do you have—“

Toriel’s voice suddenly changes. A little more… sad… “You have my number already, so you have no need for me to tell you it again, resourceful one.”

“Yeah. As long as your phone has a redial button, then as long as I call you once, then I’ll never have to dial your number again…”

*A lunch time later…*

“I will be doing some work inside for a while my child. I will have my cell phone close at hand in case you call.”

“Okay. See you later.”

As soon as I’m out of earshot of Toriel, I abruptly break into a jog. [The bake sale isn’t far. Come on!]

{Why you making me run?}

[Because it’s free food…?]

{What do they sell?}

[Doughnuts and cider… a cider for eighteen gold. A doughnut for seven gold.]

{How much do I have?}

[Count it…]

{Forty… this better be good… Also on a note about counting gold, do they have five G coins or ten G coins?}

[No… it was never a problem--]

The voice cuts itself off. [Never mind…]

*A couple minutes later…*

[Hold up seven G. They’ll exchange it for the doughnut.]

{Okay.}

I hold up my hand with seven G in it, and it leaves my palm, one coin at a time. In its place, a doughnut wrapped in a napkin drops down. “Thank you,” I call out, but no one answers.

“Where’s the cider?”

[Walk over a couple feet. Hold up eighteen gold this time.”

After holding up the gold, a jug of cider as large as a Costco jug of milk drops onto my hand. Fortunately they’re… whoever’s running this thing… is nice to give me the jug handle first. “Thank you,” I call out again. {Daaaamn it’s huuuuuge!}

[Yeah… you comparing it to a Cosco milk jug isn’t wrong. Uh, you’ll want to hoard the Spider Cider. It’s… not sold very often… and it has healing properties…”

{Spider Cider?}

[It’s made of real spiders, not just the juice.]

{Euwwww…}

[Hey from what I know about you and food, you care about organic stuff. This cider is as organic as it gets! Like seriously it seems like you know a lot of people who care where their food came from… shouldn’t they just be happy it’s… well… food… and that they have any?]

{Truuuuue…? Like, all truuuuuue…? Yeah… a lot of people care if their food is organic. It’s expensive but… people still do it… but I’m no expert… If I can I’ll eat organic food but I don’t go out looking for it.}

[Just hold onto that thing. Even if it’s empty. You’ll help promote their brand that way.]

{Easy enough… Now all I have to do is make up for all the gold I lost… Is it possible for us to walk around and encounter monsters for that?}

[RPG hoarding tendencies?]

{Yeah…}

[I’ll walk you around and help you dodge monsters’ attacks[\]

I walk around for about an hour and a half, talking, or gesturing, or… flirting… with the monsters. Just as I am about to earn my 150th gold, my phone rings. I put it on speaker: “Hello? Toriel?”

“My child, I wanted to let you know that I will be doing some errands for a couple hours, so I will not be home. Where are you as of this moment?”

“The ruins. Should I come home?”

A short laugh. “Of course not. I merely wanted to notify you so when you come home, you do not come looking for me, only to realize that I am no longer present. Was there anything you wanted me to buy?”

“Hmmm…”

{Yolo!}

[or Naaaah…]

{What do you mean or naaah?}

Uncharacteristic hesitation. [… … Uh… tell you later…]

{Okay…?}

[You were saying?]

{Since they have Internet here, like, would they have phone chargers?}

[Why do you ask?]

{‘Cause I want to kno what the Underground is like. I can’t read Toriel’s books as they are now. We can’t scan them since I don’t have a computer to hook the scanner up to. My phone’s all I have.}

[Ask her then.]

“Toriel, do you think you could find a charger for my phone?”

“Of course my child. But I foresee a problem. Since you do not know what your charger looks like, how will you describe it to me? How will I know what to look for?”

“I’ll come home and see if I can find a picture of it online. Or I can describe it.”

“I will await your arrival home then. Bye Pauline. See you soon.”

“See ya Toriel. Bye.”

On the way back home, I ask, {Uh… can I ask… you… something?}

[Yeah. ]

{What should I call you? Like… at least online I can call people by their usernames…}

[My name’s Chara.]

{Chara… spelled how?}

[Like “character” Chara, but pronounced “Car-uh.”]

{Sounds mysterious…}

[First come on I know you were gonna say shadey… And second only as much as you want it to be.]

{Okay… Uh… Chara… I… I also wanted to ask… you said that YOLO isn’t true… Why?}

[Because you are filled with determination.] is… Chara’s… unhelpful and untrue response…

{Oh yeah… You said Toriel’s house and those leaves and the gross cheese filled me with determination…}

[Yeah… so…? Your point is…]

{Is that a… custom… in the Underground? To say that… random objects… or important objects… fill you with determination…?}

[No.] Chara says harshly. [I said it because it’s the truth.]

{But I don’t feel very determined…}

[No. You don’t feel determined. You are determined.]

{I mean… that’s true, but not all the time. I can be--}

]Around here, because you are human, you are determined. Being determined is basically a nearly universal state of being for humans. It’s almost synonymous with being alive…]

{What’s…}

[To put simply, determination… gives humans the power to reach their maximum potential, even in the most dire circumstances. You know what saving is, right?]

{Saving what? Money?}

A grunt of frustration: [Come on I know you’re smarter than this. You understand more than anyone else I’ve known down here. I mean like saving in games.]

{Yeah. I spawn where I saved.}

[And what else happens?]

{Everything is how it was when I saved.}

{And in games why would you do this?]]

{Because I did something wrong… or got lost…}

[Yeah, but why do you save, more generally??]

{If I mess up, I can go back and try again.}

[So YOLO is wrong because…?]

“Ooooooh… myyyyyyy… Goooooood…”

[So what does saving do?]

{It sets stuff back to how it was when I saved.}

[But whyyyy would you save down here?]

{Because I want to fix something I did wrong.}

[And if saving sets everything to how it was like when you saved, then what does this mean for you?]

{I can try again.}

[I know that right now, you’re drawing on your memories of playing the Pokémon games. In Pokémon White 2, when you were fighting gym leaders without anyone to help you, what would you do before fighting each gym leader?]

{Save?}

[Why?]

{So if I died I could just soft reset and try again…}

[So… here…?]

“Ooooooh… myyyyyy… Goooood…”

{I’d come back to life… … … …}

[You said that you would save so you could correct any mistakes you made. Why would you want to save here? Why would you want to come back to life?]

I reply aloud, in a hushed voice. “Because… because I don’t want to die here…”

My voice cracks. “I’m too young to die… I haven’t done everything I want to do.”

[Not just here. You don’t want to die ever. That will to live… that is the triggering… emotion… or event… for determination.]

{But how is it that the cheese and Toriel’s house are places that I could reappear at?}

[Because they’re significant. They stand out. And because… I used them too…]

{You, used them?}

[Yeah… just know that I’ve seen all this before… a lot, actually…]

{So… you already know what determination is?}

[Yeah.]

I slowly wonder aloud, “Why do save points appear? Based on what you’re saying, it seems like save points appear when you die…”

[Not exactly… Everyone wants to correct their mistakes. Everyone has a time in their lives when they fuck up, and want to set right what once went wrong. And everyone wants to live. With the save points you can do both these things, if you want it hard enough…]

“But if determination… minmaxes people’s potential, then… what can you do with that?”

Another pause from Chara. [I, don’t know… I only know you can use it to reset… that’s actually the thing determination is known for. Why do you ask?]

“What if I’m determined to do something that’s not… … cheating death?”

[You think you could use determination for other stuff?]

“Yeah. I just have to want it enough… right?”

[I know what you’re about to say and no; if you’re right about determination, it doesn’t work how you think: you can’t use determination to get your sight back. You can’t physically imagine yourself seeing again, not how a normal person sees. You only had a couple years worth of experiences to draw on. That was your maximum you’d end up minmaxing. And as of right now you can’t see anything like what you saw back then, so… yeah… it couldn’t happen anyway.]

{But how does it work? Do I just imagine myself at the save point, and I spawn there? Or if I can use determination for other stuff, how would determination affect my body? Would it increase adrenaline output? Would it make it so all my energy was focused on… running away or enduring attacks, or what?}

[Well… here’s the thing. Frankly it’d be better you know this now and not later. But there’s someone who knows a lot more about determination because they studied it scientificly. It’s good you’re trying to research this, and this place. I wish I did it more when I was here, actually. If you spend a little more time on the Undernet, you’ll find her.]

{Okay…}

I walk back into Toriel’s living room and I hear her stand from a chair. “Hello Pauline. I was waiting for you. Do you have a photograph of the phone charger prepared?”

“I’ll try looking for it. If I can’t find it, I’ll describe it to you.”

*A couple minutes later…*

I can’t help but shout “They have it! It’s… somewhere called Snowdin Town.”

“Oh I know where that is my child. It will not take me long to arrive there and determine whether the charger is available. And if it is not I can always place an order.” Toriel perks up.

“An order? Who makes them? Where do u get them from?”

Toriel suddenly sighs heavily. “I have not seen her in a long time… I do not know how she will respond to your presence in the Underground…”

“Who is she?”

Another sigh. “It is too painful to explain, my child. I am terribly sorry. But I promise I will try my best to find this phone charger.”

She stops for a moment, her tone turning apologetic. “Oh I should have asked this sooner. I am sorry for being caught up in my own thoughts. Why do you need this charger?”

I laugh. “Let’s just say it’s hard… okay, like… almost impossible… for me to go without the Internet for more than a couple hours at a time. Maybe not even then. The Internet’s the only reason I was able to do my work at school. And besides: since we don’t have the technology to scan your books, it’s better I read stuff online. Maybe I’ll find digital copies there.”

I say the rest wistfully: “And since I’m not in school and not doing homework, I have… a lot… of free time now…”

[Reyn time!?]

{Oh heeeeell nooooo!}

“Very well. Toriel walks forward and hugs me. I hug her tightly back. “I will be off then insightful one. I have left hot dogs and pie on the dining table. I have put them in a thermos, so they should remain relatively warm until you wish to eat them. Unfortunately I do not have a microwave, and it is much too dangerous for you to use the stove by yourself.”

“Yeah…” I agree.

Toriel begins to walk away, down some stairs. “Oh my child: if you ever hear someone knock on this door downstairs, feel free to ask who it is and open it for them. Sadly I do not have a spare key for you to leave the house, but I will make that my first priority when I leave here.”

“So you have someone to make spare keys too?”

A, reprimand? No…. it’s teasing. “My child, I may not have a smartphone, but I am aware of key-copying.

[YOOOOOUUUUU IIIIIDIIIIIOOOOOOOT!!!]

“Fair enough…” I call after her, just a little embarrassed…

“Be good my child. And stay safe.”

“Bye.”

The door downstairs loudly shuts.

[Wait whaaaaaaat she’s giving you a spare key???]

{What? Is this weird?}

[Yeaaaaah!!! She didn’t let anyone leave like that before…]

{Before???}

Chara sighs. [Okay… I should have told you this earlier… Toriel would have told you eventually but that’s not the point. You know how Toriel said that every day she walks through the ruins to see if anyone has fallen down?]

{That’s a normal thing?}

[Yeah… it’s happened several times…]

{Whyyyyyy?}

[I’ll tell it to you like how Toriel told me.

Long ago, two races ruled over earth: humans and monsters.

One day war broke out between the two races. After a long battle, the humans were victorious.

The monsters were sealed underground with a magic spell, underneath Mount Ebot.

They say that those who climb the mountain never return.]

“Whaaaat???” is my rhetorical, whispered response. “Why’d humans declare war?”

[It’s not for me to say… I actually don’t know why. Just… well… they need human souls to break the barrier that traps them down here, seven of them.]

{oh nooooooo… no no no no no…}

“How many do they have?”

A long pause. Then Chara says quietly, [Six.]

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!”

[Yeah… this is why when Toriel sees a human child, well, a human, she doesn’t let them leave. She doesn’t want them getting killed.]

{So she stops them from leaving?}

[Yeah. But the six humans who came before you… they all left… but Toriel made them prove they were strong enough to survive outside first.]

“By…?”

[Fighting them.]

“A-a-and… t-t-they’re a-a-a-all d-d-d-dead n-n-n-now?”

Chara sighs. [Yeah…]

{But I have to get home! I have school! How will I--}

Another pause, but much longer. [It’s… complicated… just… I’ll help you figure out how this world works, and maybe even how to get home. It’s just… I’ve never seen this happen before…]

{Why?}

Chara laughs. [Well for one a blind person’s never fallen down… let alone a college age blind person…]

{Really?}

[Toriel asked how old you were since… well… everyone who’s fallen down before you has been younger than you… significantly so… like, preteen younger than you…]

“Oh… my…”

[yeah…]

Chara changes the subject. Honestly I don’t dwell on the condition of the past six humans who were here… except for the fact that I didn’t think about how Toriel had the shoes already… [How about you prepare for if Toriel doesn’t find a phone charger ready to buy? Also prepare for when the BrailleNote dies…”

{Oh yeah… there’s some stuff I’ll write down now so I still have it when the BrailleNote and my phone die…}

When I walk back to my room, I feel something on the table, next to my cane. “The slate and stylus is fixed!”

[Yeah. And just in time too. How much battery does the BrailleNote have?]

After turning it on, I check the braille display and read aloud, “It has sixty percent left. I’ll turn off the Wifi and the other stuff I don’t use. The problem is that even if the BrailleNote is off, the battery drains. And… well… since you guys don’t seem to know much about blind people to begin with, I don’t think you’d have a charger for the BrailleNote either…”

[Truuuuue…]

“But how will I stop the battery from draining?”

[Take it out but put it in again when you need to use it?]

“Maybe… I’ll do that after I write down some stuff. I don’t know how useful it will be here, but who knows? I’ll at least copy down my passwords, since I know there’s Internet—“

[Undernet you mean?]

“Yes? And no…?”

[Okay. I’ll just get the essential stuff. Then when Toriel comes back I’ll have her write it out in print and—“

A banging sound in the distance.

“What was…?”

A… devious…? Chuckle from Chara. [Come on we got this. I think… no: I know who that is.]

“Whoooo?”

[You remember what Toriel said right? If someone knocks on the door, you can basically violate any common sense from parents talking to their kids they’re leaving alone and ask who it is and open the dor and not feel creeped out! And without getting killed like every stupid horror film victim ever!]

“Okay…?”

[Leave your stuff here. You should take out the battery from the BrailleNote now though.]

With Chara’s help, I walk out of the room, and instead of walking straight out my bedroom door, I walk out a ways, then turn right, so I am walking down the stairs. They tell me these stairs are directly across from Toriel’s front door.

After opening the door to the basement, Chara explains, [This place is pretty empty. You could walk around down here without me and you’d still be fine. There’s no furniture or anything down here. The door is—]

Another knock, almost deafening now, now that the door’s not too far away.

[We’ll walk forward a few dozen feet to get to the door.]

{But what do I do when I get there?}

Chara’s voice softens, for the first time not sounding sarcastic or informative. [Just, ask who it is. And I’ll help you open the door. I think, no: I know you’ll enjoy this.]

A third set of knocks, but after them, I hear… a somewhat faint voice… “Knock knock.”

"Nope!"

[You're supposed to ask "Who's there?"]

{"Fuck that!"}

[Seriously ask "Who's there?"]

"Nope nope nope nope nope!"

{That’s not creepy at all…!

[I know it sounds like the title of a cheesy horror film… a comedy horror film or otherwise… but trust me it’s fine.]

Chara seems… excited. “And besides I think you’ll like this. JUST! DOOOOOO IIIIIIT!!!!]

“Fine. but if Toriel’s house ends up getting robbed—“

[Well you can’t blame me because no one else knows I’m here… so…]

*Cue face palm*

{Oh yeah… … … shit.}

[Come on!]

I suddenly begin walking forward briskly. [The handle’s on the right side.]

“But I’m not gonna open—“

I abruptly stop, one of my hands reaching out in front of me. I feel a cold, stone surface. “Oooooh heeeelll nooooo!” I protest…

The door swings outward and open, with surprisingly little creaking…

I’m impressed.

With the door. Not Chara…

“Hello?” I call out.

No one answers. I call out again, but there is still no response. I walk forward a couple feet, find the door handle, then close the door again.

Listen until 2:34, then close.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqhirHCWBc4&t=328s#t=01m42s

Make sure you finish what's left of this chapter by the time the song reaches 0:26.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emU2aoj8CIQ&index=11&list=FLmHGufMoIDktodLm1kSXITA

“Human… don’t you know how to greet a new pal???”

“Fuuuuuck!!!” I spin around, but don’t know exactly what to do next since… someone’s already inside the house…

{But no one answered how!?!?}

[They could have walked through…”

{But that door's—}

[It’s actually pretty big. And it did prop itself open. And you were standing in only part of the doorway…]

{But what do I do!?!? They’re already insiiiide!!}

[Well you’ve already turned around… just… shake his hand…]

{But I don’t even know who he is!}

[Look man Toriel said that it was okay for you to ask who it was and let them in. She trusts everyone around here. So she trusts him. And you trust her… so…]

{I guess… but if anything happens—wait shit I can’t blame you can’t I…?}

[Yeah… just… reach your hand out…]

I extend my left hand outward but don’t feel anything. I take a step forward, and I also hear… the other person—monster--moving closer. After a couple seconds someone’s hand grips mine.

{Daaaamn his hands are coooold… and dry…}

[Not dry… not really.]

{What do you--?}

As our hands move upward in the midst of beginning the handshake,

… … a balloon deflates… or worse… {Uh… … …}

Chara begins to giggle… very out of place like…

“Heh heh heh. The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It’s always funny…”

{You can’t be serious…}

I withdraw my hand and take a step back, only for a hand to touch my arm. I keep trying to back away. His hand’s sooooo dry… and… bony…

“Oh yeah. Sorry. I should’ve told you where I was first. Tori told me to come by. Guess she didn’t tell you who I was yet.”

“What!?”

A short, deep chuckle. “Ehh. It’s okay. I’m new at this. I’m Sans. Sans the skeleton. I’m actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now but,” he? pauses a moment, “you know, I don’t really care about capturing anybody.”

Chapter Text

4

[Time to say something that sounds completely stupid but means well!]

{Uh, more like something that tries to mean well… Let's see how he'll react. “Sans Reacts to Nerdy Blind Kid...”}

[Hey! That should be copyrighted shouldn’t it? Based on your memories--]

{Oh heeeeeeell noooo! Moving on! Nothing to see here!}

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emU2aoj8CIQ&index=11&list=FLmHGufMoIDktodLm1kSXITA#t=00m26s

Loop until the chapter ends.

“Hello. I'm soooo soooorryyyyy for freaking out like this... I should’ve known you'd—“

Stumbling over my words like an idiot…

Sans cut me off. “Oh come on kid. You can't apologize for somethin' you never would have known about. I do that to everyone.”

“You mean you give everyone heart attacks?”

[And there goes any attempt at actually being nice...]

{He scared the living--}

Chara suddenly turns serious. [Trust me: Sans hasn’t scared the living shit out of you yet…]

{But he--}

Somehow Chara becomes even more serious. [Trust me. You’ll know it when it happens…]

“Well, when you put it like that, you could say every time you see me you'll be heartbroken.”

“Ugh...”

*Then cue cringe-induced snickering*

“If you keep doing this you’ll give me a heart time…” I warn? Him.

Another chuckle. He seems encouraged. “Bad puns: the best ice breaker. But I have to ask: Pauline, have I scared you enough that you won’t let me in?”

“You know my name.”

[YOOOOOU IDIIIIIIOOOOOT! Crashing the mobile artillery into a house?!?]

{Wow… But how is that weird! Why are you doing that!? How does he--}

“Of course. Tori thought it’d be a good idea if I knew a bit about you before coming here.”

[See? I DON’T WANT ANY EXCUSES! CHAMPIONS DON’T WHINE; THEY WIN!]

{*Sigh…* I guess…}

“What else did she tell you?”

“That I should make it obvious that I’m a skeleton so you don’t feel awkward about holding my arm when we go places…”

Somewhat embarrassed, I admit, “Truuuuue…”

“Well then. Are you gonna let me in then? You’re unnecessarily pulling my heartstrings…”

“But… if you’re a skeleton, you wouldn’t have a heart…”

*Cue singing a Kanye West song, and Chara giggling some more…*

“I was working on something when you knocked, so… I’ll finish that. Then we can talk… or whatever…”

“Whatever you want kid.”

Sans holds his arm out to the side a little, and I grab his elbow. We walk upstairs to my room. “Heyuh. Can I take off my slippers and jacket here?”

“Sure. This is only an Asian house ‘cause I’m here, so go ahead.”

“And uh, can I sit on your bed?”

“Sure. Why do you ask?”

“Tori wanted me to, ease you in, to the rest of the underground. We didn’t know how much you’ve seen—“

Sans stops mid-sentence. “Man . I’m sorry. Just, force of habit…”

“Ehh. It’s okay… I do it too…”

“I mean, we didn’t know how much you’ve been exposed to till now. So she told me to be careful.”

“Fair enough.”

“Also: I don’t know how much you can do or how much you care about your room being different from normal on your own, so, yeah.”

[You’re annoyed at him aren’t you?]

{*Sigh*… I just… I don’t know. It’s nice Toriel told him about me but…}

[But what?]

{I don’t want to be treated different here too.}

I sit on the bed next to Sans and spread my hands out over the bed’s surface, searching for the BrailleNote, the BrailleNote’s battery, and the slate and stylus. “I mean, that makes sense but… did Toriel tell you I’m in college?”

“Yeah. It was the first thing she told me after sayin’ you were… blind. Seriously. I’m impressed. I couldn’t walk around like that.”

“Everyone takes their sight for granted. I just hope that doesn’t happen down here…”

“Heya. Us monsters, we’re not perfect. But yeah; we haven’t met someone like you before. Just do what you’ve always been doing.”

I go into my document with all my important information, insert a clean sheet of paper, and start poking some phone numbers into it.

“How’d you realize that you had to write the braille in backward so it would turn out right on the flip side?” Sans asks.

{Whoaaaaaaa…}

[Come ooooon. Why are you surprised?]

“Trial and error. I started using this thing in second grade. And when I tried writing my name and took the paper out, I was soooo mad it came out wrong…”

“Hey. When you’re done with that can I give it a shot? I mean, if you’re gonna be writing stuff to everyone like this, I need to raise awareness of it.”

[Ooooooh… myyyyyyy… Goooooood…]

{Are you fucking kidding me!?}

[Nope!] Chara breaks down laughing incoherently… and I do the same…

“I’m impressed. Like, I’ve made blind people jokes, and some braille jokes, but…” I trail off.

[What’s the braille joke?]

{If Sans doesn’t play Super Smash Bros for Wii U he won’t get it…}

[Truuuuue…? You mean if Smash for Wii U doesn’t exist down here in a recognizable form Sans won’t get it…]

{Truuuuue…}

“I don’t know how much of this stuff I need, but I’ll get all of it… or at least enough of it. I know that I could find email addresses and most phone numbers on my phone if I need them, but if Toriel doesn’t find a charger, I’ll have to do this anyway…”

Sans chuckles yet again. “Oh man. Tori told me ‘bout your phone. She kinda wants one, but she’s still confused about how to type if there aren’t any buttons…”

“Yeah… she freaked out when I showed it to her… Like, are there no smartphones down here?”

“Nope. There are. But they’re just prototypes. Us monsters, we get our technology from the dump in Waterfall. It’s pretty cool, ‘cause we sometimes get current stuff. Well, current to our knowledge, from what we’ve read online…”

“Sans?””

Yeh?”

“What’s technology like here? Like, you know about smartphones, but Toriel doesn’t, so do only some people know? And you have Internet and social networking, so you can’t be too far behind us…”

“Hmmm…” San’s voice sounds less… lazy? Less, drawling. “Kid, I have a question for you.”

“Yeah?”

“You know what year it is right?”

“Yeah. It’s 201X. Toriel told me the first day I was here.”

“What year do you think it is down here?”

“If you have access to the regular Internet, then the time should be the same down here as it is up there.”

“So you’re correlating the year down here to the year on the surface, eh?” He sounds… interested.

“Not exactly. I’m correlating the year down here to the year where I come from. That’s why I was happy to know you had Wifi down here, because assuming…”

{This is gonna sound crazy…}

[Why not do it? But hey! That’s just a theory! A--]

{Oh heeeeeell noooooo!}

[Fine…]

Quiet patience. “Assuming what?”

“Assuming… that technology has progressed mostly similarly in this world as it has in mine, I can narrow down what year or range of years it should be based on the technology you have.”

“So you want to know what we have down here?”

“Yeah.”

“So: you said you were happy to find out we had Internet, well, the Undernet, and Wifi. When were they made in your world?”

[This isn’t like Sans… He already can tall you’re not fron om on the surface… well this world’s surface…]

{Whaaaaat? He’s pretty chill.}

Palpably awkward silence from Chara. [Uh… yeah. Let’s just say you’re in the minority when it comes to that opinion…]

{Whyyyyyyy?}

[You’ll see, when you eventually leave this place.]

{Okay…}

“Um… The Internet was developed in the 1970s where I come from. I think it became available to consumers in the 1990s. Facebook has been around for… a long time… It was one of the first, or maybe the first, social networking site. It’s been around since the mid 2000s. I’d say around 2005.”

“Well can’t you check online so you know for sure?”

“Yeah.”

*A couple minutes on Google and a bad pun about MySpace later…*

“Okay Facebook was founded in early 2004, not 2005. And Myspace came first. And if you’re making fun of MySpace, your world has technology exceeding 2005.”

“How about Wifi then, kid?”

“I started hearing about it in… the late-ish 2000s… by the time I started sixth grade I knew what it was. Or what it did anyway.”

“When’d you start sixth grade?”

“2009.”

“So it’s older…”

“Yeah.”

“But how much older?”

After a couple more minutes on Google, I summarize, “I found a page on Wikipedia about the history of Wifi.”

After a few more minutes, I continue: “I can’t find the date for the first time Wifi was made commercially available for use to go online.”

After a few more minutes, I say, “I found the name of the first computer that had Wifi networking on it. Let’s just hope it’s Internet Wifi, and not microwave oven Wifi…”

“Nice. If I can do a Google search about food and make my microwave warm that same food for me all at once, I’ll take that…”

“Truuuuue…”

*A few more minutes of wondering why Wikipedia is so labyrinthine later…*

“Okay!” I gasp, out of breath after reading a couple more pages. “Most likely, Wifi became commercially available for Internet use in 1999. And assuming that you haven’t gotten access to our TV radio bands for Wifi yet, then conservatively, it is 2005 or later here.”

e

“Okay...”

I turn the voiceover off and hand it to Sans. After a few seconds of silence, I hear a… familiar voice…

*A few notes of electronic keyboards and Korean vocals later…*

“Ooooooh… myyyyyy… Gooooood… You gotta be kidding me…”

“Nope. See for yourself.”

When he hands the phone back to me, the voiceover is already reactivated. I read the title and publication date of the video.

“I never thought I’d be so happy to hear ‘Gangnam Style’ in my life…”

“So: now you know that all things being equal, the year here is at least after July 2012.”

[Come ooooon… Why are you so happy? And don’t try lying ‘cause I’ll know…]

{Fine… I… I just hope it’s here…}

[Xenoblade?]

{Yeah… I’ll look for some music. If it’s here, then I’m good…}

[And the Xenoblade Chronicles 3D trailers?]

{Yeah…}

I set the cursor in the YouTube search box. When I’m done typing I scroll my finger down the page, listening to the search results.

“Yeeeeees! IIIIIIT’S HEEEEERE!”

“Whoa hold up. What’s here? Something from your world?”

“Yeeeees! Just… listen!”

*A few minutes of badass guitar solos later…*

{Do you think he liked it?{

[I don’t know… Maybe… I never did this with Sans, so… I wouldn’t know…]

“Wow. Never thought you’d like rock music…”

“I started listening to it in middle school. “’You will Know Our Names’ isn’t actually rock. It’s metal, but… yeah… ‘cause of this song, I started playing piano again. I started listening to more metal and rock music.”

“But what’s Xenoblade Chronicles? Sounds edgy…”

“Kinda… it depends on how you look at it…”

[Finally! You laughed! And not at one of Sans’ jokes!]

{Shut! Up!}

[Fine… that was a cheap shot…]

“Sans? How much do you know about technology?”

“Well I know what YouTube is. And smartphones.”

“Do you know about video games?”

“Oh man…” Sans starts to explain. “You have noooooo idea… Papyrus saw an ad for a racing game in a magazine. But I had to tell him we couldn’t play it.”

“Papyrus…?”

[Sans’ brother.]

“My bro. He’s really cool. I think you’ll like ‘im.”

“So Papyrus is a gamer?”

“Well he tries… He loooooves Portal. But ‘e wants to replace the cake with spaghetti…”

“I mean, I’d watch someone LP that game…”

“Yeah. As for me,” Sans sighs, “it’s not exactly my thing. I mean, we don’t have the technology to play most of them.”

“Most of them?”

“We can play older handheld games but that’s it.”

“Oh…” I feel just a bit disappointed…

“What’s wrong kid? Is it about Xenoblade? It’s not a handheld game?”

“No… it’s for the Wii. It came out… how do I put this? It came out in June 2010 in Japan, August 2011 in Europe, April 2012 in the United States, and April 2015 on the New Nintendo 3DS, so it’s technically also a handheld game. This video was uploaded August 2013, according to this world’s time. I just… have to…”

I start typing again.

[Wow… I never thought I’d hear Sans actually laugh so much… That’s saying something…]

“Auhw! Kid. This—is—great!” Sans can’t stop laughing. “So this is what Super Smash Brothers is like?”

“Only the newest one. Shulk is my main, actually.”

Sans composes himself a little. “So, you’re telling me you play as a guy who can see the future?”

“Yeah.”

[Oh my God yeeees!] *More incoherent laughter from Chara…*

{What!?}

“So…” Sans says slowly, “when you’re reading stuff in braille, you could say, ‘I’m really feeling it?’ Eh?”

“Oh… myyyyyy… Goooood…”

I follow Chara’s lead… “Why didn’t I think of this before???”

“But Pauline: this can’t be all, right? Shulk had to come from somewhere. Was it Xenoblade? And you were sayin’ lots of release dates. And since this was uploaded in 2013, then all the versions of Xenoblade you said exist except the last one. Shouldn’t ya look for that one, to narrow down the date a bit more?”

“Yeah that’s true. Okay I’ll go search again.”

After a bit more typing, my voiceover reads aloud ”Xenoblade Chronicles 3D Launch Trailer.”

“Yeeees! It’s after April 2015 here!”

“High five.”

I give Sans what he wants, trying ot to feel too… weirded out? Disturbed? By his hand literally being bony…

“Why’d you show me these trailers and not Xenoblade itself?”

I sigh. “The thing is… is that I watched someone play through Xenoblade before I did it myself. I just don’t know if he exists here…”

“Well no use in not trying right? And even if you can’t find the videos, you can still tell me ‘bout it. The story. The music. Ya know?”

“Yeah…”

{Dear Alvis I hope he exists here…}

[Yeah… I do too… from your memories, he seems like a cool dude…]

{Truuue…}

As I am about to begin the fourth YouTube search, my phone rings. “Hello? My child?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you all right? Is Sans there?”

“Yeah!” I put it on speaker. “Hey.” He says.

“I have fortunate news, my child! I have found you the correct iPhone charger. Although I do not know why its creator has tried deceiving me into believing I am a phone…”

“It’s a long story. It’s actually, very iOpening.”

“Wow…”

“Come on. You should have seen that coming…”

[“I see it!”]

“I see it!”

“Exactly…”

Sans turns back to the phone call at hand. “How much longer will you be out? Papyrus is probably looking for me.”

“You haven’t told him about me yet?”

“Heh heh. You’ll just have to meet him for yourself. Tori, how long will you be away?”

“Approximately another half hour. Forty-five minutes, if I encounter any mishaps. Have either of you eaten?”

“Oh shiiiit…”

“Not yet,” Sans says over my cursing. “don’t worry. At least if you’re gonna turn into a skeleton, it won’t be on my watch.”

“Oh thank goodness. You are in good hands.” Toriel sighs a bit, relieved. “If you are in need of anything else, do not hesitate to call.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“What are ya lookin’ for?”

“Please… dear Alvis please be here…”

My phone reads aloud, “Let’s Play Xenoblade Chronicles, Episode 1: The Battle of Sword Valley. Chuggaaconroy.”

“Yeeees! Yeeees!”

“Hey hey. Calm down. Why so excited?”

“Chuggaaconroy exists heeeeere!”

“Is he the Let’s Player you were talkin’ about?”

“yeah! He’s sooo awesome! He makes reaaaaally baaaaad puns!”

“Only I can be the judge of that. And, uh, Pauline?”

“Yeah?”

“Three things. One let’s eat—“

“But how can you eat? You don’t have insides and stuff…”

“Do you wanna find out?”

{Euwwwwww… Hey! What’s soooo funny?}

[Nothing… *Suppressed giggling*]

“We’ll bring the phone to the table. Second put it to full screen… my eyesight is pretty bad…”

“But… if you’re a full skeleton, you have no eyes…”

“Well I’m still better off than you…”

“Whauw whauw whaaaaauw…”

“And third: you said you’d let me use the slate and stylus. I’ll work on writing somethin’ while we eat.”

“Sure. To the kitchen!”

{Emile… since you’re here, it won’t be soooo bad down here… I think…}

[Does the thought of squeeing over Alvis’ accent in front of Sans fill you with determination?”

A moment’s hesitation. Nervousness about being so, open, in front of a complete stranger. Still.

{Yeah. It does.}

[Congratulations: you have just knowingly saved for the first time.]

Chapter Text

5

[Dear Alvis do you aaaaalwaaaaays sleep so late?]

{Yeah...}

[Even on school days?]

{Espeeeeecially on school days.}

[Whyyyyy?]

{'Cause I never have time to do everything I want during the day...}

[You mean you never had enough time to do what you wanted during the day.]

{Oh yeah...}

[Well... why don't you get up then? You don't seem tired.?]

{Ugh...}

*Incoherent groaning*

[Duuuuude...!]

{Whaaat?}

*Exasperation that doesn't need to be said... thought...*

[Like... duuuuuude... You have soooo much you can do right now. Help Toriel with braille? Buy more doughnuts? Binge watch Metaton's show? But you're like, you're like, staying in bed!]

{Sooo?}

I've never heard Chara so.`. indignant? Affronted? [Duuuude! You're missing out on sooooo much! How can you be sooo apathetic? There soooo much you could be doing but you're lying in bed, for Monado's sake!]

{I never get to do this back home. I'm always busy. I always have soooo much work. Like, you might think this is me being lazy, but this is how I'd want to spend some of my free time. If I had enough of it...}

[Hmmm,] Chara concedes. [I mean, you are... no; were... pretty stressed back then. At school, I mean. AP classes. College aps. Trying to learn to main Shulk without having a Wii U and having to use the shitty 3DS controls instead...]

{Oh Goood you have noooo idea what I'd do for a Wii U...}

[But you know, it's weird, thinking that everyone who's fallen down before you... they never made it to college. Hell; they never made it to high school. I could help them defend themselves against Toriel's attacks and not get lost in Waterfall. But I can't do a damn thing about college aps or SAT scores or anything like that.]

{Oh my God that's right isn't it? I'm the oldest human to fall down!}

Sadness between us that needs no words.

[Hey. Can we change the subject?]

{Uh, I guess...? To what?}

[You squeed soooo hard in front of Sans yesterday when you talked about Xenoblade...? Like, you only ate 'cause he told you. You--]

{I knoooooow. I... I was... I'm just so happy I met someone... modern. Like, someone who knew about Internet and Wifi and stuff...}

[Not everyone down here is so clueless you know.]

{I didn't mean it like that. I meant, like, Sans reminds me of the Youtubers I watch... watched...}

[Can still watch...]

{True...}

[So...?]

{I... I'm just so happy I met someone who I don't have to explain everything to.}

[Uh huh.]

Chara pauses. I sense them, thinking. [It's interesting... he usually isn't this cautious. And invested in stuff. He's lazy... mostly... but not cautious... not like this.] If Chara could speak aloud, they'd sound like someone muttering to themselves under their breath.

{What do you mean? He just seems hella chill. Maybe you could call him lazy...?}

[Him asking to take off his shoes and jacket and set them down in your room. He's never done that before. Not just 'cause he's never been here. He doesn't... didn't... act like that before around anyone else.]

{Well you keep saying blind people... monsters... don't exist here. And Toriel told Sans to be careful around me. Maybe that's what he thinks being careful is.}

[Yeah. It's just, disconcerting, to see him act like that.]

{Makes sense.}

[And yet you're still annoyed at him?]

{Yeah...}

[Just be glad Toriel's been open-minded about you. You don't know how lucky you are.]

{Are all the other monsters really afraid of outsiders?}

Chara doesn't reply. {Were the other children mean to them?}

Chara still doesn't reply. {But yeah you're right. I'm happy I met her, and you...}

A, surprisingly, cheerful, laugh from Chara. [Yeah! You wouldn't have anyone to meme with!]

{Ugh...} This time it's not a cringy groan.

[But one thing though.?]

{Yeah?}

[At least if you're gonna sleep in all day say hi to mom--]

{Whaaaaat?}

A hurried response. [Nothing. Just, let's say hi to Toriel at least before you go back to sleep... meaning going back to lying down and trying to fall asleep again but failing at it but not really feeling like getting up...]

{It feels soooo good to be able to sleep in all day.}

[Yeah I know. You're, like, seriously enjoying this.]

{I had to wake up at 6:30 in the morning for three of out of four years of high school. Hell; even in elementary school I woke up kinda early. I never got much time to myself. To do what I wanted to do. Here,}

As I lie in bed some more, wrapped in a monster's, blanket, I choke up. {This is my chance. To do what I want. Yeah. It's selfish but...}

I trail off. What can I say? {I want this. Weirdly enough I don't mind this. No Zanzadamned essays every week. No stress from hearing about other people's stress. No one treating me like I'm... less of a person...}

Sudden shock from Chara. [Wait really? That can't be a thing!?]

A mental guffaw. {Oooooh you have noooooo ideeeeeaaaaa... Just watch the news in Amurica--}

[Oh heeeeeell noooo!]

{Exactly.}

As I'm about to leave the bathroom, Chara suddenly suggests: [Bruh?]

{Yeah?}

[Take a fucking shower.]

{But I don't have spare clothes!}

[Go back to your room there's spare clothes in the closet.]

*A few seconds later...*

{Wow... Toriel's been putting in work!}

[Duh. Why wouldn't she? She trusts you. So much she went out and didn't wake you up!]

{Exactly like back home.}

[Nice. But yeah. Duuuude. Take a fucking shower!]

{I aaaaaam...!}

After a couple minutes of groping around in the shower, I call out, even though no one is around to hear. "Where's the shaaaaampooooo!?"

[Toriel doesn't have any of that stuff. Monsters don't need it.]

"But she's had people over why doesn't she have aaaany!?"

[How would she even make shampoo and soap? You need, like, lots of chemicals for that!]

"But there's someone who can make iPhone chargers! If you can make those--"

[No it doesn't work like that. You're gonna have to deal with it.]

"Wait... could I make my own soap?"

[Maybe. But if you're gonna do that pleeeeease take a shower first. You fuckin' need it.]

{Okay...}

After my shower, I am about to go back to my room, only to suddenly change direction so I end up walking toward the kitchen table instead.

Okay... it's Chara...

{Oh heeeell nooo!}

[Just see for yourself. Uh… wait…]

I stop, and my hand reaches out under Chara's control, my fingertips brushing a piece of paper on the edge. "Braille," I breathe.

[Read it then.]

My child. I apologize for leaving you alone. I wanted to notify you of my absence so as not to worry you. I will be performing some more errands and will not be back until evening. Sans will be stopping by once more around 1:00. He alerted me to the alarm he caused when he first arrived, so I have told him to call you before he reaches the basement door. I have left pie and hot dogs which Sans can warm on the stove for the two of you. As always, do not hesitate to call me if you are in need of anything. Be good resourceful one. Toriel.

"Hoooooly shiiiit sheeeee wroooote braaaaaile!?"

[Yeah! Told ya she's good!]

"But... she's only..."

[She's only been using braille for, like a day? Yeah. You're right. But she probably stayed up late getting it right.]

"For me...?"

[Damn right!]

"Oh my... Goood..."

Sudden wistfulness from Chara. [Told ya: she's dedicated. She's really something. She's the only reason I...]

Chara trails off. "Toriel's the only reason you what?"

[Nothing.]

I never thought Chara could sound so hurried...

[Well, don't just stand there. Let's see if we can make soap for you 'cause #FirstWorldProblems!]

... "Whoa... Are you for real?"

[You mean is Wikipedia for real? Yeah. It is. They don't have any of this stuff down here. So yeah... you'll have to go without soap.]

"Shit!"

[Be glad there are human showers here at all 'cause monsters only clean themselves for other monsters' sake. They can just magic off most dirt.]

"And what about a comb?"

[Toriel could order one--]

"Nah. It's okay. She already ordered me a phone charger. It must be hard to get all the stuff for that together."

[You sure? It wouldn't take too much effort to make.]

"I guess... but it'll have to be sturdy."

[Suit yourself. Maybe Toriel could cut your hair so you wouldn't have as much of a need for one.]

"Maybe. What time is it? And don't say Shulk or Reyn time!"

[Like, 12-ish. Sans'll be here soon. If you wanna binge-watch Youtube, at least stay in the kitchen to do that.]

"Okay."

... "Uh... literally what the fuck just happened?"

[Metaton's weird. Not exactly my thing but, quite a few monsters like him. And he has merch!]

"I'd buy that."

[I got you! I can hook you up later.]

... "I never thought I'd be so happy to hear Markiplier in my life!"

[Yeah. The monsters who have computers really like him. A lot wanna meet him if they get on the surface.]

"Why? 'Cause they wanna hear him freak out?"

[You mean freak out for real?]

"Oh yeah... Can they comment on his videos?"

[Uh... it's complicated?]

"How?"

[Posting comments uses different systems. They've tried, but... yeah, it doesn't work like that. They've tried sending comments in but everyone thinks the servers never get our stuff.]

"Heh... interesting. Uh, Chara?"

[Yeah?]

"How are you here? Like, you're in my head, but..."

[Are you asking if I have a physical body somewhere?]

"... I don’t know… maybe? Yes?"

A heavy weight fills my chest. It's... overwhelming melancholy. I'm a bit sad about what I left behind--okay maybe a bit more than that--but not like this. [It's a long story.]

"Oh."

It's Chara.

That's their overwhelming melancholy.

They're sad that... they don't have a body...

[Look. I can't really explain right now. It's for the best. You'd wanna hear it from... the ones affected most.]

Quiet sniffling, but not my own. [Can we watch something funny?]

"What do you have in mind?"

... ... "Oh heeeeell noooo!"

[Oh come on seriously!? I know you're thinking this subconsciously. Okay maybe not in Rick Astley's voice, but...]

"But like, this meme is sooooo old!!!"

[So?]

"Soooo!?!?"

[I've only heard of this from other people... meaning I've seen it in your memories...]

"But out of all--"

The Youtube video stops, my phone beginning to ring. "Hello?"

"Hey kid. I'm downstairs. You should find a key item outside the door. You can't lose it in your bag. And it's pretty big."

"Okay. I'm--"

[Wow...]

{What?}

[Oh heeeeell noooo!]

{Oh yeah...}

"Really??"

Another one of Sans' frequent laughs. "Oh come on. You laughed at it."

"I did and I can't believe I did..."

"Just like my bro. But yeah. Get down here. I have some things to tell you."

"Sure."

Chara has no need to direct me toward the basement. When I open the basement door Sans places my hand on his elbow. "Thought I'd do this whenever I saw you. Seems like it'd be easier on you."

"Thanks."

[Just thanks?]

{Like, I'm happy he's helping out. Toriel's nice but,"

[But what?]

{I didn't mean it like that. I mean, Sans is like, actually fun. And not just like my mom back home and stuff.}

[Then why don't you tell him? He'd really appreciate it!]

As we enter the kitchen, I decide, why not?

"Sans?"

"Yeh?"

"I, I'm really grateful you're coming here. I know you're supposed to be looking for humans... you must be putting yourself in a lot of danger."

"Neh, not really. I told you: I don't really care for capturing humans."

"Oh yeah."

"You seem down kid. Why's that?"

"Just... I'm the only college age human who's fallen down."

{Don't cry... don't cry... shit...}

Sans steers me over to my bed and wraps an arm around my shoulders. "It's--no. I can't say it's okay. 'Cause it's not. And no one down here can even begin relating to you, but, hey: you've already done a lot more than the other humans who've been down here. No one ever researched the Underground. Well, not like you have."

"I guess. But it seems no one else has had access to the Internet in their pocket when they fell."

"That's true. But still. One of the questions I have for you. Well had for you. I was gonna ask how much you know about the barrier, but,"

"Humans created it. Seven human souls are necessary to break it."

"You're right. There are six human souls. And you could be the seventh."

"Okay. What else?"

"What do you know about Asgore?"

"Asgore?"

"He's the king of the Underground. He lives close to the barrier. If you want to go home, you'll have to take his soul. And even if you’re going to break the barrier, you’ll have to take his soul so you could get away with breaking it yourself."

"Why? So I can combine my soul with the others to break the barrier?"

"Yeah. Kinda."

{No no no no no no no no no no...!}

"So how would I take his soul?"

"You know how. I know you're smart enough for that. Just think ‘bout all that philosophy you’ve been exposed to about how humans have a physical self and a consciousness. AKA a soul. Or The Matrix…"

"I... I... I have to kill Asgore?!"

"Yeah."

[If only you could see Sans' face right now.]

{He seems... so sad...}

[Yeah. Well a little more than sad but yeah. You're right.]

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"'Cause you need to know. 'Cause you have the right to know. Monsters will try to take it from you. And well, Tori told me to accompany you as far as I could. That at least if you have to fight Asgore someday, you might learn some things along the way. And who knows? I might be able to see something new."

"New. What do you mean? I know none of the humans who have fallen down have ever broken the barrier but--"

"Buddy."

Sans suddenly becomes stern. "I have to tell you some things. I've never told anyone them before. I've never felt the need to. I never thought anyone would understand."

"Not even Papyrus?"

"Especially Papyrus. You'll see when you meet him why this is."

"What is it?"

"Well. It's complicated. But I think you'll be able to understand it. But first: I wanna get back to Xenoblade. It's not quite my thing, but I can understand why you like it. Let's get in a couple episodes and eat lunch. I think gaming has helped me get my act together in this sense. It's... confirmed some things. I,"

He hesitates. "Well. One thing I noticed? You can save in the game after a fight but before a chest has been opened. It seems like a lot of games have that. Since it seems like quests can sometimes take a while to complete."

"Oh you have noooooo idea..."

[Ice cabbage flashbacks?]

{Yeah...}

*Shudder*

"And you could save in front of the chest and open it. And if it wasn't what you want you’d exit the game and come back. Then you'd open it again and keep trying."

{Oooooh, myyyyy?}

[Weird RPG tendencies?]

{Yeah!}

"So...?"

"This may seem weird but... from what Toriel has told me you're pretty smart. Your college education might help you understand this. That and you've gamed. And you’ve stayed in Tori's house a pretty long time. Believe it or not all the other kids stayed only a couple days, maybe a little more. They never had the chance to think about this.”

“About what?”

“I think the same thing, with saving and stuff, has happened here before. Is happening here. And, since you're here, will happen here some more."

Chapter Text

06

"So... I'm gonna stay until Toriel can do braille better?"

"Yeh. Then I'll introduce you to Papyrus. It'll be a moment worthy of getting down on papyrus that's for sure."

"Oh man. He seems cool. He actually reminds me of Chuggaaconroy a little."

A short laugh from Sans. "Ya mean how he talks?"

"Yeah dude. But I don't know. Could Papyrus get a million subs?"

"If humans really like puns, then yeah. Well they seem to, so yeh. He probly could."

"Oh duuude... Like... if Papyrus were a Youtuber, he'd be like all the hammy Youtubers combined into one. Jacksepticeye, Chuggaaconroy, Marriland, all of them."

"They all like puns?"

"Yeah like, they seriously loooooove puns. Their reactions are sooooo fun, and like, they're all hyper like Papyrus seems to be, so..."

"Yeah. And, from what I've seen, Emile still seems real good at what he does. My bro, he's real smart. He could be real dangerous, if he wanted. I think he could handle knowing' 'bout resetting."

"Yeah. If you frame it like some huge puzzle he'll remember."

"Makes sense. But one thing though: how would we make sure he remembers?"

"Trust me: he'll remember. Resets affect memory somehow. As for how? Even now I don't know."

"Do you think we have access to research on memory? From, like, on the surface? I know we can't create content, but we should be able to access information."

"What do ya have in mind? I've looked at some databases over the years, but you're the college kid. You've done this with a different frame of find from me."

"There are studies out there about gaming improving memory. Maybe we can find more memory stuff. 'Cause, like, I don't know how memory works, but... there are humans who do."

[Cool. I guess it didn't matter I learned some of this before you came. Damn I wish I knew more college kids before I met you...]

{I never thought I'd use this database searching stuff I learned like this...}

[Fair enough. So what are you guys gonna do?]

"Sans?"

"Kid?"

"Do you have a computer at home?"

"Course. It's a little older than what's current on the surface, but... yeah."

"How good is your Internet?"

"It's good enough. Why?"

"Do you know about, like databases and stuff? Human scholars, like, post their articles there. There's, like, databases for lots of subjects. You'd have to look for psychology stuff."

"Sounds about right. I've used 'em a ton. I've looked through 'em lots of times, but it's worth doin' it again. What do ya think I should look for?"

"They have research guides online. As for accessing material, sometimes you have to pay for that stuff. Which sucks but..."

"I've used free stuff all this time. But ya think I have to get to that info no matter what?"

"Uh..."

[For the greater good?]

{If it means I can get out of the Underground then yes.}

"I guess. If your Internet's that bad, if you have to hack some things then do it. If you know how. But only take what you need. And if nothing else you should be able to find stuff on YouTube and other non-scholarly web sites. Google Scholar should help a lot."

"Sounds about right. But it's good you've confirmed all this stuff for me." Sans stands from the kitchen table, taking my arm. "I've gotta go. Paps is probably worried about me. And it seems like I'll have a lot to do."

"Damn right."

"How much should I take?"

"I don't know however much you think you need. If you can get something good for free, take it."

"I've tried learnin' 'bout this stuff without hacking but... I realized that wouldn't cut it. So it looks like I'll be busy for a while. Don't be surprised if I don't come by for the next couple days. Maybe more. Just tell Tori I'm busy if she asks."

"But... when will we tell her about the resets?"

"We'll figure it out when we get there. Don't worry about it. Just treat it like another research assignment for school. That should keep stress down. And the best part is this has no deadline. This should be no problem."

We walk downstairs to the basement, stopping at the door. He pats me on the shoulder. "I'm routin' for ya kid.

"Kid: you have no idea how happy I am I can talk to someone 'bout this. A couple of the kids who fell, they died before I even got to 'em. And well: I can see in how you speak, how your education's done good for you. You can say things well. You're good at workin' through stuff. You're using what you're learning. Monsters could learn from that."

"I guess. On the other hand you guys don't deserve the bullshit which is the United States education system. You guys need to learn stuff that people on the surface take for granted. And I can only help so much since I only have my phone to go look for stuff."

"We can talk about all that another time. Just... binge-watch all the stuff I showed ya, all right? It'll pass the time."

"Okay."

"See ya around Pauline."

"You too--"

Sans and Chara laugh, long and genuinely, before Sans closes the door.

[Something I noticed: Sans never asked how you managed to get here without getting hurt.] {True...?}

[Do you think he suspects me?]

{I don't know. Why?}

['Cause...]

Chara's voice... cracks.

[He'll ask eventually. Or he'll figure it out. Or both.]

"And he'll... he won't..."

{Whaaat?}

A hand on my arm.

Fingers intertwining with mine as I take a seat at the kitchen table.

Someone's arm brushing my sleeve.

My phone being wrenched out of my grasp, the voiceover turning off.

"What--who?"

Clicking sounds of typing, and the soft piano notes of a familiar song.

**Play the song while reading, stop reading at the next note, then keep reading once it's over.**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGkPEDFRgng

{Cue the feels...}

"Look: I... I just think he'll find out eventually. And... I'm afraid..."

"... Chara?"

"Yeah."

"You're a Xenoblade fan! I knew Emile would pull through!!"

A light laugh. "Yeah. If nothing else I'm soooo happy you showed it to me. I'm sooooo happy you're here. To show me everything." They shudder and talk faster. ["I... I won't physically be here for long. Maybe a few more seconds."]

Their hand leaves mine. ["Just know this: you knowing how determination works is more valuable than you could ever know. Right now anyway."]

Their voice fades. ["Who knows? Maybe you'll figure it out. Just..."]

[Stay determined!

[For both of us!]

**Stop reading, keep listening to the song until it ends if it's still playing, then keep reading.**

*Later that day…*

... "You appreciated my note, my child?"

"Yeah that was hella cool!"

"I am glad I have satisfied you." Toriel's soft laugh. "Is there anything else I must learn?"

"Yeaaaah... but we have time."

"Of course. But my child? It is late. You should go to sleep now. Or at least prepare for bed now."

"Yeah okay."

I stand from the kitchen table and turn around. "Oh yeah Sans said he'd be busy for the next couple days. He'll let me know he's free."

"Of course. I will be working outside over the next couple days, so you will be alone all day, starting early in the morning. Do not be afraid if you wake up and discover I am not home."

A moment's hesitation. "Good night, Pauline."

"Night."

... {Question? How did you...}

[Come out earlier today? Don't know. The only thing I can think of is that you wanna know about me. And you wanna have someone to talk to. Maybe...

[no.

[It can't be..."

{What are you...? Can't be what?}

"Just, I think I can help you a lot more if I'm in a physical form."

A quiet voice on the floor by my bed. Someone climbing up onto the bed, tugging on the blanket. "I think... if I can show up like this more, it'd help both of us. You'll be less lonely. And it'd help me."

"Okay...?"

"I know you're confused right now but... we can practice it while Sans is gone, starting tomorrow."

"I... guess?"

"Night."

"Night Chara. And get your own damn blanket. Seriously..."

*The next day.*

... "Why must quotation marks share a braille sign with the question mark and was?"

"I don't know... but they, like, open and close, nicely..."

Shifting of metal discs on the table. "I suppose that is true. However I would think whoever invented braille would have taken this into consideration."

"Maybe he did... I don't know. That would have been the least of his problems."

"His problems?"

"Yeah. Louis Braille invented... braille..."

{Yeah I know it's redundant deal with it.}

[Dude I wasn't gonna snark about it... probly...]

"Who is Louis Braille, my child?"

"He was, like a blind French dude who got his eye poked out when he was four? Five? Young...?"

"Oh my."

[First? Wow. Second Toriel's covered her mouth in shock.]

{I can hear that…}

[Just making sure.]

"So he became blind?"

"Yeah. He, like, made braille so he could read stuff on his own."

"What inspired him to create braille?"

"There was a version of braille-ish writing with twelve dots first. It was a version of Morse Code-"

"Morse Code?"

{Shit.}

[Come on. Explain it. Or at least try to...]

"It's, like... you make letters with sound, usually. Some dude apparently made a tactile Morse Code. And Louis adapted it."

"I, I never realized how little I knew about the surface until you came."

{Whoa...}

[Yep.]

"After talking to you over these past few days, it's like I..."

Toriel takes a long, deep breath, like she's collecting herself. "It's like I never spent time on the surface at all... it is as if I never saw anything. It is as if all the books I have read over all these years... it is as if I never read them."

"I mean, you lived in only one part of the surface. I don't know how long ago you lived up there, so... maybe you're right."

"My child... how am I supposed to protect you if you know more about the world than I do?"

"I... it's okay. I mean, I know it's not okay but... at least you know some things now. If I had stayed, this would have been my… second… or third… week of school."

A furry arm wraps around my shoulders. Then another. "Pauline, I am sorry, for acting so ignorant. I should not have expected you to--"

"It's okay. I mean, I know it's not okay but... at least you treat me like an equal. Mostly. And, well, it's okay if you call me 'my child'. Whatever you want. It's probably hard to call me anything else since you've... seen six children already..."

[Let's be real here you wouldn't have said it if I hadn't done it for you.]

{Dude not cool!}

"Yes... that is true. Just, know that..."

Another long breath. "I believe in you, resourceful one. I know I must not get my hopes up but... I believe in you. I can see the differences between you and the others. Your education has conditioned you to cope with stress, for better or worse. It has kept you sane. It has stopped you from leaving."

"Like, I'll have to leave eventually."

"I know. But, at least Sans will be accompanying you."

Toriel stands, taking me with her. "It is late my child. You must prepare yourself for bed."

"Okay. Night."

"This may seem sudden but...

"I Love you, my child."

{But I haven’t been here that long… How do I… Should I…? Is it appropriate to say… I still have a family…}

"… ... Thanks for everything."

After dropping off my stuff and finding another set of clean clothes in my room, I step into the bathroom. When I walk into the shower, remembering I have no soap, and don't feel uncomfortable with it, I finally feel like I've found my place in the Underground... or at least, I'm well on my way there. I plan on sorting all the data Chara and I collected earlier that day when I’m finished. {I might be the only human down here but I'm not alone.}

No snarky response...

“Chara?”

Wait...

“Chara?” I ask aloud again.

Where's Chara?

I change clothes as quickly as I can. I enter my room and grab my phone and my new comb off the table where I left them when I went to take a shower. Inwardly I thank Toriel for going out shopping again today. I begin squeezing the water out of my hair, but as I flick the water away from me to one side...

"JESUS!"

{... Whaaat?}

"That's what towels are for!"

"Who the fuck--"

"You know who I am!"

"Hold up... Chara?"

"Yeah! I've been here since you got your clothes!"

"But but but but but... how? I never asked for this!"

"Neither did Adam Jensen but that doesn't matter. I'm here... and I've been here about as long as last time. Earlier today, the last time you, summoned me here."

"You mean when we watched Mettaton try to--"

"Yeah yeah. Ugh... just... ugh..."

"Yeah..."

*Mutual shuddering sounds*

"You just had to tell mo--Toriel--about Louis stabbing himself in the eye...?"

"Yeah..."

"Dude...! Like, seriously? Whyyyy?"

"'Cause it's true. And she, like, told me about the six human souls, so... like, it's only fair."

"Yeah truuuuue...

"But yeah like, I checked the BrailleNote's battery, and, it's like, almost dead."

"How almost dead?"

"Like, under thirty percent almost dead."

"Shit."

"Well, like, if you wanna use it at some point you'll have to have Toriel take a picture of it so Alph--someone--can make a charger for it."

"Okay. I'll ask Toriel--"

My hand jerks toward the table mid-sentence, first grabbing the slate-and-stylus, then a sheet of paper off of it. "Whaaat? Oh…"

*A couple minutes of poking holes into the paper and putting the note outside later*

"How long do you think you'll stick around this time?"

"Hmmm." Chara sounds much older than... they usually sound... all of a sudden. "I Don't know. Maybe all night. Maybe another few minutes. But I'll still be here, no matter what happens. Like, it's good I'm here, like this though. 'Cause I wanted to ask you a favor."

"... Sure."

"Toriel... she was right. She, like, doesn't know much... okay basically anything... about the surface in modern times. And..."

Chara gulps. "Neither do I. I... didn't get too far in school."

"How old are you?"

"It's... hard to explain but... I never learned American history. Not in middle school. Okay not at all."

"Hooooly--!"

"Yeah. From your memories I know you learned American history in fifth grade. When you were ten? Eleven?"

"And in eighth grade."

I laugh. "And holy shiiit high school..."

"That too. But... point is: Toriel and I don't know shit about the surface. So... could you... show us?"

{I... how do I...? how much...? What do I...?}

Chara touches my cheek. "I know you must be... really confused... okay maybe more than confused. Overwhelmed, maybe? I don't know I never learned about how to talk to people right! Just... look: you may not know everything about the surface but that doesn't matter. What matters is that you know about the surface more than any of us, just 'cause you've been up there more recently than any of us. Hell, I bet you know more about it than everyone down here!"

"Even Asgore?"

Slight hesitation from Chara. "Even Asgore."

"Well if you say so..."

"Trust me," Chara guffaws. "Once you load up Khan Academy and Crash Course for us, you'll know."

Chara hands me my phone. "What do you wanna show me first?"

"I guess... Crash Course U.S. History?"

"The U.S. is America right?"

{"Hoooooly shiiit..."}

["Told you."]

"Yeah they're the same."

Chara takes my hand and pulls the blanket onto our laps. "Can you start from the beginning?"

"As much as I love Obama for being a gamer I wouldn't start off with him first…?"

Chapter Text

07

*The next day…*

“Wait: so someone stole your cane? In first grade?”

“Yeah… I still can’t believe someone would do that. You have nooooo idea of how badly I’d want to find them and… yell at them…”

“Seems like you wanna do a lot more than that…” Chara’s voice sounds closer to me. They’ve probably leaned in closer to me as we sit on my bed.

“I… yeah…” I admit.

“No shame in hiding it. Everyone has the capacity for bad in them. It just depends on how much you embrace it.”

“Yeah… I’ve thought of that.”

“It’s not just a thought for you, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean: you always have these, urges, to do or say, immoral things, but you know you could never get away with it. So you don’t do them.”

I sigh. “Yeah…”

“Keep in mind: down here, that mindset… probably isn’t the best thing. But it’s not the worst either. Watching out for yourself and getting what you want: that’s not bad.”

“People always say it is.”

“That’s 'cause those people don’t have the guts to do what needs to get done, when there's no other way. That’s 'cause they don’t want it enough.”

Chara lays their hands on mine. “But you do. You and I are… the same that way. We’re both determined to do what we must. Or what we want.”

“People always tell me that I need to learn to advocate for myself. Frankly I’m tired of it. It’s harder than just asking. It’s like… ‘I couldn’t do this thing myself so I’m asking you to help me.’ You know?”

“Depends. If you ask everyone to do everything for you you might as well have your arms and legs cut off so you can’t go anywhere or do anything without someone helping you.”

I laugh nervously. “I don’t know whether to cringe or laugh at that. But yeah I get you.”

“You’re asking for things down here, but they’re things you could never get without help. That’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“I guess.”

“You’re gonna worry about it anyway?”

“Yeah…”

“I know. Just think: you’ve already survived longer than two of the children who fell down here. Just by not doing anything stupid! By realizing that the monsters have resources you can use to survive longer. Well some of them do. If you keep doing that, You’ll get out of here.”

“But… I have to kill Asgore.”

“Shhh. Think about that when the time comes. Now, can you… like… explain about why the colonists were sooooo pissed at the British again?”

“Uh… sure…? But I’m American, so… bias much?”

*The next day…*

… “So, why is it three-fifths, and not half…?”

“So the slaves could have some vote ‘cause the South wanted it, I don’t know…?”

“I mean why three-fifths, not one?”

{Oh shit…}

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…”

[And yes I heard what you were thinking.]

“Doesn’t seem like it. You wouldn’t know this but you don't, look that eager to tell me…”

“Yeah…”

“Why?”

I sigh. “It’s a long story…”

“Come on. We have time.”

“When I mean it’s along story I mean you literally would have had to have lived in the U.S. to get it so it'll take too much time to just say it long story…”

“Oh…”

“Let’s just say the monsters down here would get it. Pretty quickly…”

*The next day…*

… “Is this how you write the number 201 my child?”

“Yeah! I don’t think you’ll need to learn to do it in Nemeth braille, so, yeah! You’re good.”

“And—“ Toriel pokes some more braille into the paper, handing me the sheet after a couple seconds, “is this how you write 201X?”

“Yeah nice!”

I can hear Toriel’s smile. “I am glad I have improved so massively my child. Just one more thing, before I prepare the house for Sans’s arrival. I will not be going out today, as Sans wanted me to stay. He had something to tell me.”

{Oh Gooood…}

[It’ll be fine. Sans can do it. Remember how he said--]

{Yeah yeah I do.}

[Good. Now, let’s see what he found online about mitigating the resets.]

… “Sans… this seems… rather improbable—“

“I know. But trust me: I've had plenty of time to work out the kinks. Each reset would be like a past life. My theory's that your mind has suppressed them 'cause... it'd be too much to handle, to put lightly. Humans forget traumatic memories on purpose. So why not monsters?”

“This is only applicable to human memory. Because their research only accounts for humans' brains.”

“If we were really all that different we wouldn't remember things the same way humans do. Or to put it another way: how do you think we forget things? If there are any differences in how our memories work relative to humans, I haven’t found any yet.”

“I… you’re…”

Toriel takes a breath. “As much as I wish to say this does not match my experiences, it makes sense. I… very rarely I have nightmares… or déjà vu. When I say certain phrases or do certain tasks. Or when another monster does the same. It is especially jarring whenever a new occurrence arises in my life. I have braced myself over the past several days, assuming that Pauline's arrival would trigger them but... they have yet to occur.”

“That’s ‘cause no one like Pauline has fallen down before. She's so new there’s nothin' for ya to remember. And she hasn’t reset anything yet. By staying with you she hasn’t had to yet.

But when she leaves, she will. Even if she’s with me she may have to do it.”

“So you want me to… use these memory exercises, to combat the resets?”

“Yeah. I found more info 'bout how humans and monsters remember stuff and create memories. Just to confirm what I already know. Resetting impairs your ability to store memories, seems like. So when someone resets in the middle of you doing something, you may have encoded the information of doing that thing, but it wasn’t stored. So it’s just… floating around in your head. That’s also why you have déjà vu after doing something.”

“So when déjà vu occurs, I have remembered something that… already happened, that I do not properly remember, because I could not have properly remembered it?”

“Yeh. That is, if my theory's right. But it looks like it is. Just in case Pauline has this, ability, I wanted to let you know.”

“But how did you realize she has it, if she has not reset yet?”

Sans doesn’t answer immediately. “That's the thing: I don't know. But I can just tell, there's somethin' different 'bout her, compared to all the other humans who fell down. I can't know without formally lookin' at her soul. But she also didn’t seem too shocked when I first told all this to her, which has to mean something.”

“So, you two will be safe then?”

“Yeah. In theory, she can just save somewhere safe, and if anything happens, she spawn appear back there. No biggie. I mean, she managed to get here safe. Even through all the puzzles. She’ll be fine. And I’ll be watching her.”

“Well,” Toriel stands up, hugging me to her, “I trust you and your judgment. It seems like you have thought long and hard about this. I will pack your bag, resourceful one. There is little point in keeping you here any longer. I have already become proficient in braille enough to give you notes. And I can always call you, and you can always call me.”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Do not be sad resourceful one. I, I have hope for you. Sans is right: I realized you were different as soon as I lay eyes on you. I know now how… vulnerable… the others were who fell down. You… may be like them in some ways, but not all of them. I am happy that this, reset,” Toriel speaks the word slowly, “has brought you to me. To all of us in the Underground.”

“I don’t know what to say…”

“You have no need to say anything. The knowledge you have bestowed upon us is thanks enough. You may think it is far too soon to say this, but I cannot thank you enough for helping me see how close-minded I was. How ignorant I was. But I digress. I will return in a couple minutes with your bag.”

As Toriel walks over to my room, Sans lays a hand on mine. “You ready for this kid?”

“I mean you’ll be there so… My main problem is Papyrus.”

“He can be a little, insensitive… well I think you might see him like that at first, but who knows? I think you two will get along. Especially ever since I showed him Xenoblade—“

“wait whaaaat!?”

“Yeah. He reaaaaaally likes Emile.”

“Even with all the puns?”

“Oh yeah. He’s really feeling them.”

[“Eh!”]

“I have brought you your bag resourceful one,” Toriel calls out as she walks back over into the kitchen. “Well, it is a bag, not exactly yours. Because your backpack is much too small. But I have packed your old bag anyway.”

I hear something being placed in front of me. “I have placed it in front of you.”

“Okay…?”

*A couple minutes of poking around later…*

“How would I wear this?”

“You drape it over your back and chest. It distributes the weight more evenly. It is also more, practical… than a backpack or a bag slung across your body by themselves. The bag is actually two separate bags, so in time of need, you can detach one, so the other half will remain attached to you. And the bag prioritizes what you retrieve from its pockets depending on your circumstances, so you will not lose what you place inside it.”

She laughs. “At least, at first. You will have to condition the bag to give you what you want when you want. However I had it prioritize healing items, your cell phone, and money in the pocket your hands are on right now. I have placed a key to my house, as well as some food, in the pocket next to it, already.”

“Sweet!”

[Cue RPG hoarding tendencies!]

{Yep!}

“But how can it fit all this stuff?”

“Magic, resourceful one.”

“Oh yeah… I forgot that’s a thing…”

[You idiiiiiot!]

{Shut up!}

“I am surprised you have forgotten. Fire magic was how I forged the slate and stylus. And magic altering physical properties of objects is, rather commonplace.”

“Fair enough…”

“Actually, space-altering magic is how I have managed to fit all my books in my house. And all of your clothes in the back portion of the bag. Your old clothes are there, as well as some new ones. They require minimal effort to be washed, so you should be capable of managing them on your own.”

{Shit I have to wash my own clothes!}

[Come on I can help with that…]

{I know but… shit I have to wash my own clothes!}

“I have also modified your phone case and the phone itself. It will automatically return to the front-most pocket if it is ever in danger of being damaged. The case will take any damage in its stead. Considering where you will be going, you will need this. Also, if absolutely necessary, the bag can act as body armor. Most pockets are actually pouches secured onto a fabric frame. When hit, they will detach. It can also keep you dry or shield you from high heat long enough for you to either escape, or… reset.”

“Hooooly shiiiiit This is awesome!”

Toriel laughs in delight. “I had an inkling you would enjoy it my child. I have also taken similar precautions for your cane. It will automatically return to the sheath on the right side if dropped.”

Toriel hesitates. “And if you ever need to arm yourself, there is another sheath on the front. I hope you will never have to use it but…”

Sans takes my arm. “Come on. We’re burning daylight.”

As I stand outside Toriel’s basement, Toriel hugs me one more time. “I know this may sound strange but, I am not as sad to know you are leaving as I was with the others. I was never presented with a situation where I felt confident enough to let them leave.”

“I know...”

“Just, know that if you need to, you can always come back. I did not allow the other children to do so but… I know you can handle it. That is why I gave you a copy of my key.” As I grip Sans’ arm and start walking, I call Toriel goodbye over my shoulder.

“Just know: you will be the hope of the Underground. I am sure of it!

"I have not been so sure of anything in a long, long time.”

After a couple minutes of walking, Sans says in my ear, “Wow. Tori seems real proud of you.”

“Yeah. I can’t believe she did all this for me. And I… I still barely even know her.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I mean, I’ve only known her a little more than a week. How much can I learn from someone in a week? Especially a total stranger—“

“Kid.” Sans stops, letting go of me. “I don’t know how much of this you can pick up with just sound but, Tori’s never hidden anything from you. She’s helped you with all her strength. She's taken care of several other children before you, so she knows what to do.

"She...”

Sans pauses for a second from his position across from me. “She treats you like her own kid.”

“That’s true…”

“Come on. Lighten up. Now you can carry as much stuff in your inventory as you like! For all the collection quests…”

“I swear if I have to collect Ice Cabbages to gain people’s favor around here…”

Sans laughs. “Nah ya won't have to do that. But heads up. You might wanna put on the thickest jacket and pants Tori got for you. I stopped here since there’s a bush you can change behind.”

“Why?”

“Just do it. If you wanna get hypothermia, fine by me, but…”

“Son of a bitch you’re a skeleton. No wonder you don't give a shit!”

“And that’s why I live in Snowdin…”

*A new pair of pants and jacket later…*

I walk a few dozen steps forward, holding onto Sans’ arm once more.

“Fuuuuuuck!”

“Yeh. It's not called Snowdin for nothin'. Good thing Tori also modded your shoes so they don’t get wet…”

“Yeah…”

[Not a fan of the cold?]

{Dude I lived in California! It never snows there! People were--are--weather wimps!}

[Oh…]

Sans grabs me and holds me closer to him. “What why—“

“Shhh. My brother's coming. I’d say to stay calm but… we’ll see what he says to ya.”

**Listen until the monologue ends, which is when the music starts.**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt0Gc3Uc8So&t=179s

“SANS! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! What if a human passes through?”

Sans lets go of me and pushes me forward a little bit. “Ya mean like this one?”

[He’s, like, pointing at you.]

{I guessed as much…}

We stand in the snow silently for a couple seconds.

“OH MYYYYYY GOOOOOOD!

"That’s a human right?”

“You can talk to her you know.”

“You’re a human right?” Papyrus asks, taking a few steps.

“Uh duh…?”

A few more seconds of silence.

[He’s, like, two feet in front of you…]

{Good to know…}

“YEEEEES! Excellent!”

{Jesus is he alwaaays this loud?}

[Yeah. He’s like Emile that way. You’ll get used to it. You got used to Emile…]

{Truuue…}

Papyrus clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “Huuuumaaan?! You shall not pass this area! I, the Great Papyrus, will stop you—“

“But I got here just fine—“

“NONSENSE!!! I have completely halted you in your tracks without even activating any of my puzzles!”

"{Puzzles?}"

[Normal people might call them traps…?]

{Oh shiiiit.}

“Now, I will get all the things I deserve! RESPECT! RECOGNITION! I will finally be able to join the Royal Guard! People will ask to be my… friend?”

{Why he have no friends?}

[It’s… complicated… You’ll have to see for yourself.]

{…}

“I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning!”

Sans interrupts: “Like every rapper ever. Or like every rapper wants.”

"{[Eh!]}"

“SAAAANS! You haven’t even done anything! I have finally done the unthinkable! You would have just let the human pass right on through, even if they walked right in front of you! That’s how lazy you’ve become!”

“Hey! Sans isn’t lazy! He saved my ass and made sure I didn't get lost and bored!”

“Yeah. She’s right. I met her a while ago. I’ve, introduced, her to how the Underground works a little—“

“You mean the human’s been here this whole time and you haven’t even bothered capturing her!?”

“Capturing…?”

"{Fuuuuuck!}"

“Yes! Capturing! I will capture you! You will then be delivered to the capital. Undyne will… I’m gonna… I’ll be so popular! Then! Then, I don’t know what’s next!”

{Oh my…?{

[Yeah… he’s like Emile on steroids…]

“Well I have to get out of here somehow so…”

“Come on Paps let her through. You can prepare your puzzles, like you always say. How else will she know how amazing they look?”

“Sans! The human can’t be so lazy she would not take the effort to look at my puzzles! Easy! She can just gaze upon them in wonder—“

“Uh…”

Someone’s hand grabbing my wrist… hard…

“JESUS!”

“Whaaat!? You doubt the glory which is my, the Great Papyrus’s puzzles?”

{Oh dear Alvis what do I say?}

[Just tell the truth…]

“No! I can’t see!”

“What do you mean you can’t see? You have eyes—“

“Bro?” Sans sounds… a little stern… now. “She literally can’t see. The only reason she knows who you are is ‘cause I told her you’re my brother.”

“Is this—“ Papyrus begins to ask, before stopping for a moment. He takes my hand again, and…

{Jesus he’s strong…!}

[Yep!]

“Human? What happened to your eyes!?”

“Uh… I don’t use them…?”

“Do you even know what your eyes look like?” Sans asks.

“Uh... I know they’re all… milky and stuff…?”

“Yeh. You're right.”

“But how can this be true!? Humans always look at things! Look at me human. Please!”

“Papyrus…”

{Why do I suddenly feel so sad?}

[‘Cause this is the first time someone’s taken it so hard that you can’t see?]

“I can’t. I know where you are ‘cause you’re talking and, well ‘cause you’re holding me. And I can turn my head in your direction when you’re talking to me but I can’t literally look at you.”

Papyrus puts me down. “so,” he says with, much less ham, now, “you cannot gaze upon the glory which is my puzzles?”

“No. You could tell me what they look like though. But it’ll be hard.”

A few more seconds of silence in the snow.

[Wow. I never thought I’d see Papyrus this, thoughtful.]

“OKAY!” Papyrus shouts in my face. “I, the Great Papyrus, have come up with a solution! I will describe all my puzzles to you so you will not miss a single detail! It will be just like if you could see!”

“Thanks man.”

[Oh come on you like him already. Don’t lie to yourself.]

{I’m just glad he’s adapted so fast.}

“So you’re gonna let her through?” Sans asks.

“Yes! Continue, but only if you dare! Gneh heh heh!”

Papyrus runs away laughing.

“I’ll make sure Paps doesn’t get too crazy. He hasn't realized ya can't do any of his puzzles, even if ya know what they look like…”

“True…”

“Even so I think you’ll be fine. You’ve made it this far. Just, keep doing what you’re doing. It wouldn’t be surprise me if he’s gone and changed the puzzles, just for you. See ya soon.”

“You too.”

A short laugh. “Well, not really. But instead I'll just say let’s press on and on and on. How’s that?”

“You’re quoting Xenoblade!”

“Course. The puns are great. Anyway I better get going.”

After Sans walks away, Chara says, [Oh yeah: I’ll walk you over to somewhere you can use as a save point. Then maybe you can witness the gloriousness which is Papyrus’s puzzles.]

Chara leads me over a few feet, and my hands touch an object. {What am I…?}

[This is a conveniently-shaped lamp!]

“What’s that sposed to mean?”

[it’s… hard to explain…]
[“But does it fill you with determination?]

“I guess…?”

[Good. You’ve saved.

[Now back to our regularly scheduled shenanagans.]

Chapter Text

08

[Heh. Sans left us alone?]

“Yeah…? I’m confused too but… he didn’t ask if I needed him to come with me so… we take those.”

As we walk along, Chara asks about my, old life? Ongoing life? No longer my own but most familiar life? How would I tell them that teachers for blind people are rare? That I struggled doing math because it relied too much on visuals, and brailling math homework by hand was annoying? That I hated the Commonap? They weren’t even in middle school yet!

[Look man I can tell I’m just… flustering you… right now--]

“It’s fine.”

[You don’t sound like it is.]

“*Sigh…*”

[Just saying it’s hard not to notice when I’m literally in your head 99% of the time. You, like, can’t have privacy in here.]

Sudden curiosity: “Chara?”

[Yeah?]

“What’s it like, to know what I think? Is it like hearing me talk? Telepathy?”

“Hmmm… I, can’t describe it, not really. I’d say it’s like having a Bluetooth earpiece in your ear all the time but, you could remove that. It could break. I’d say it’s like walking or standing behind you all the time when you talked to peo—monsters, but… that’s creepy.]

“Truuue…?” I laugh a little.

[And I can’t say you’d know it when you saw it ‘cause…]

They trail off, expectantly…

“Whauw whauw whaaaaauw…”

[Yeah… it’s impossible to describe… But there is something coming up that I can describe. It’s a box by the side of the road!]

“Heh?”

[Like, literally! I never had a reason to use one but…]

I turn sharply off to one side, Chara presumably leading me over to it. I bend down, lifting the metal lid and reaching my hand inside. “A glove?”

[A Tough Glove.]

“So you’re expecting me to wear one glove?”

[Yeah…]

“Is there a pair—“

[Nope. Never saw one. She didn’t use a second one—]

“She?”

[Yeah. This glove, it belonged to the second kid who fell down and got their soul taken by Asgore. I don’t know why it’s here in this box, ‘cause she made it a little farther down the road, but…]

“So you’re asking me to wear a dead kid’s glove?”

I hear a slapping sound inside my head. [Zanzadamn it! You’re right…]

I close the box and turn back toward the road under my own power. “All that’s left is to make this a baseball glove with poems written on it which belonged to my beloved dead younger brother named Ally. And then you’d call me Holden Caufield.”

[Who the—]

I sigh. “Oh yeah… you never read Catcher in the Rye…”

[What’s that?]

“It’s a book about an angsty kid who loved reading but kept getting kicked out of school ‘cause he kept skipping class and getting in fights and ‘cause he thought everyone was phony…”

[…?]

“Yeah it’s weird… but I liked it. That was in junior year of high school. It’s really popular… on the surface… where I came from… maybe both.”

[Why?]

“’Cause it’s about an angsty teenager who’s smart but doesn’t like school…”

Chara abruptly laughs harshly. [I think I could have been one of those kinds of kids…]

“I don’t think it’d be that bad. You’re snarky sometimes but—“

“—you’re so lazy! You were napping all night!”

“I think that’s called sleeping…”

[“Eh!”]

“Excuses excuses!”

“No johns,” I mutter under my breath, and subsequently, a wave of confusion sweeps over me, even though I know what no Johns means…

Oh…

{It’s a Smash thing… like, no stupid excuses…}

“Oh!” Papyrus stomps over to me and starts yelling.

[He yells all the time for him it’s just talking…]

“The human arrives! In order to stop you, my brother and I have created some puzzles. I think you will find this one, quite shocking!”

{[Shit!]}

“You can’t be serious!”

“Oh yes I am! You see, this is the invisible eelectricity maze! When you touch the walls of this maze, this—“ a ball of… something… plonks down onto my arm, only to fall to the floor. I bend down, scrabbling my hands across the ground, trying to find it.

I eventually pick it up, and Papyrus continues ranting. “When you touch the walls of this maze, that orb will deliver a hearty zap!”

{Wait…}

[You’re on the right track… just… hang in there…]

“Sound like fun?” Papyrus asks, a little too enthusiastically…

“Uh…” I begin to respond.

“How dare you interrupt me! I have not even finished!”

“Sorry…”

“Well, let’s just say the amount of fun you will have is actually very small! I think!”

“Oh Jesus…”

[Come on I know you got this. If you’re holding the orb when you touch the walls it’ll shock you. So, you…]

I unfold my cane and place the orb on the ground. I start to walk forward, and it doesn’t take long for me to hit a wall, which is presumably invisible. I walk along it for a while, making sure not to divert away from it. After a few more seconds of walking, my cane stops coming in contact with the wall…

Heavy footsteps crunch in the snow behind me. “Incredible! You slippery snail, you solved it so easily! Too easily!”

“Wel, the orb was gonna shock me so I ditched it…”

“How dare you not respect my puzzles! That is not how this puzzle is supposed to be solved!”

“You mean I wasn’t supposed to put down the orb! Like, you made it! Why’d you even put it in? Why not just make the walls electrified AND invisible?”

Papyrus huffs. “Fine: you do not respect this puzzle. But no matter! The next puzzle will not be so easy!It was designed by my brother Sans! You will surely be confounded! I know I am. Gneh heh heh!”

I stand there awkwardly for a few seconds, expecting Papyrus to continue talking or him to lead? Drag? Me to the next puzzle, but he just storms away. “Heya.”

“Holy shit!”

Sans ignores my outburst. “Thanks for that. Seems like my brother’s having fun. Isn’t he cool?”

“Uh… if you mean a substitute for Jigsaw from the Saw films, then… yes…? He’s pretty cool…?”

Sans chuckles shortly. “I don’t know who that is, but, they don’t sound pleasant…”

“Oh you have noooooo idea…”

“Why? Am I right?”

Sans shuffles forward a couple steps. “Come on. You can tell me who they are…”

I take a breath. “Well… he’d make traps representing people’s flaws and force people to try escaping from them.”

“Well, that’s not exactly what Papyrus does but, yeah. I get it. But why not just say it?”

“He’s… not very nice. Well he, may be…? Nice…? But… he’s, not Papyrus nice.”

“A nice person who does mean things?”

I hesitate. “I’ve never watched the Saw movies myself. I just read about them. They’re… pretty violent… and controversial…”

“Not like that’d matter for me. I’ve seen worse.”

{Whoa Sans though…?}

[Take his word for it. It’s a… long story…]

{Chara? You’re all, like, serious, again. Is there anything wrong? Is my comparison offensive?}

[Nope… just…]

A mental sigh. [Just, I’ll tell you. Okay? Just, not now… It’s not the time.]

{Okay…}

“”Will you be okay kid?” Sans asks. “There are some ice puzzles ahead, and I’d hate to see you slide away like Shulk on Valak Mountain.”

{Whaaaat?}

“Hooooly shiiiit you gooot theeeeere!?”

[Well that changed quickly…]

“Yeah. I binged on Xenoblade the past few days.”

Another laugh. “For once Papss is right. I slept in and binged on it the past few days. And I would’ve done it again today if he hadn’t dragged me out of bed.”

“Oh dear Alvi—Jesus the ice puzzles physics…”

“Yeah. I realized, the ice around here’s pretty similar, so… you gonna be okay?”

“I mean, if I really need to, I can save before the puzzle and reset if I get hurt or fuck up.”

“The puzzles have reset mechanics built in. But if you feel safer saving before each one, go ahead.”

[Well this got serious quickly… again… Well I’m not surprised.]

{What do you mean?}

Chara doesn’t answer.

“I’ll be on my way then. Good luck.”

[Dude, put your cane away.]

“Why?”

[‘Cause there’s a puzzle ahead I think you’ll… appreciate…]

“Appreciate being…?”

[It’s a game of snowball miniature golf…?]

“It’s not miniature golf! It’s golf in miniature!”

[Let me guess: another reference I won’t get?]

“Well… maybe you could have gotten it… the show it came from was meant for preteens. Even though teenagers and grown-ups would be able to appreciate it the most…”

[But you wanna try?]

“Sure…?”

[If you play you get gold--]

“You could have just told me that…”

[Okay. Just… walk forward. The ball is about chest height right now. I’ll tell you where to push it.]

“So it’s clubless golf in miniature…”

*One attempt later…*

[Damn your legs are short!]

“Well excuuuuuse meee for being Asian—wait shit you wouldn’t know about the—“

[Well, think about it like this. Even when we felt trapped by the limits of your body, we figured it out and got it in. And we got 2 gold, so… not bad. Not bad at all. You wanna try again? We can keep playing to get more free stuff…]

“Okay… But we should save here first…”

[But why?]

“In case we screw up…?”

[Well yes but, how badly do you wanna get the free stuff?]

“Reaaaaally badly. We, like, only have 150 gold…”

[Does this desire to get the free stuff fill you with determination?]

“Yes.”

[No hesitation. I like that. Then, let’s do this.]

*The second unique attempt later.*

[The ball is small now. But standing still, we waited for this opportunity. Then we dethroned the ball with a sharp attack.]

“That’s… a bit weird…”

[But it’s true.]

“I guess…?”

I hear the tinkle of gold falling into my front bag’s most easily accessible pocket. [Reach inside and see how much there is now.]

“There’s… twenty gold… This’ll take forever!”

[Well we have forever…]

“Truuue…?”

*The third unique attempt later…*

“How’d we do?”

[Well, I realized something,. You’ve figured out the course by muscle memory now. The first time, you just kept pushing it, whether the ball was going the right way or not.]

“So?”

[This time, it worked. I realized you are the kind of person who rushes fists-first through all obstacles. And for it, you got five gold.”

I confirm this is the case, then we move on, counting out what we’ve earned. “We have, like, seventy-two more gold now. Why do you want me to keep going?”

Chara sounds, excited. [Let’s just say it’s an easter egg. I was the only one who could get it to work but… maybe you can, since I’m here…]

*Fourth unique attempt later…*

“How’d we do?”

[Really good.] Chara can’t suppress their glee. [Patience. Bravery. Integrity. Kindness. Perseverance. Justice. Using these, you were able to win the game. And check your pocket.]

I reach inside, a heavy stack of coins touching my hand. “Whoaaa!”

[Yeah! That’s fifty gold, just from winning that one time. That was our fastest time yet. It was fast. And the ball didn’t even shrink that much.]

“So if I keep playing like that I’ll keep getting fifty gold?”

[Uh no…? Every time I’d play it I could only get it in like that once. Afterward I’d only get ten gold.]

“Well… I want this. Like, really bad. Like, if I don’t get this I won’t have any other easy way of getting money and I don’t know how job applications work down here really bad…”

[Okay…]

I walk back to the start of the course, stand quietly for a second, take a breath, and then push the ball with both hands as fast as I can, leaning my body to match the curves and sharp turns on the course. I make sure my hands and feet, not the ball, touch the boundaries, since Chara told me several attempts ago that the ice surrounding the course would melt the ball a little on contact. As the ball falls into the hole, the same size as it started, I can’t help but feel hyped.

“Yeees!”

Most importantly, I hear a loud clink from in my front pocket. I reach inside and feel the same equally tall stack of gold appear there. “Yeees! I gooot it biiiitcheees!”

[Wow.] Chara sounds… a little more than surprised. [I never thought of that. I never thought you could use determination to, wish? Conjur? Stuff out of mid air like that…]

*Several more attempts later…*

[You good? We have, like, 500 gold in all now! I think we’re good…]

“But when the hell will I come back here?”

[Good point, but still. Seriously I don’t even know how long we’ve been standing here doing this…]

“Fine let’s go… but where?”

[We’re turning off the road again soon. Then—shhh!]

I stop walking for a moment, and hear two? Three? sounds.

Two of them are Sans and Papyrus from somewhat far away. Papyrus is laughing, and Sans sounds… bored…

The third is…

[Don’t panic you got this.]

“Why?”

I fly off the ground, the third sound coming closer. {What’s—}

[That. He’s? They’re? a Snowdrake. He likes puns.]

{Sweet!}

[Just… pun at him. You’ll be fine.]

I clear my throat and call out, “Hey I heard you’re pretty cool …”

{Ugh… that was baaaad…}

[True but snow bullets!]

I jerk backward in midair, but not quickly enough, as a bullet hits me in the arm. I somehow manage to grab it out of the air, and awkwardly float there a second as it melts in my hand.

“It’s okay. Chill out man!” the Snowdrake calls back.

“Oh you didn’t just…” I mutter under my breath…

[Oh he did. And you’ll have to come up with a couple more if you wanna get out of here. And if you wanna console him laugh at his jokes like a normal person…]

I oblige. “Duuude… you should take a chill pill and stop attacking me!”

“Hey! For me, ice puns are snow problem to make!”

He continues to hurl ice bullets at me, my health slowly widdling away down to fourteen from twenty. [Healing item time?]

{But how will I know it’ll come out of my bag right?}

[Trust me!]

I place my hand on the front pocket of my bag, and fortunately, a piece of the Monster Candy appears in my palm. [Eat it!]

{Okay—Jesus! I’m at twelve!}

[Eat it whole! Trust me I did it and I was fine!]

{But you’re crazy—people can’t—!}

[Just! Dooooo! Iiiiit!]

{Fine…}

Apparently, Chara is right, since when the candy touches my tongue, it dissolves, wrapper and all. [You can just chuck it in your mouth. Monster food’s mostly magic so you can’t choke on it…]

{Okay…?}

[Also, bad pun time?]

{I knoooow…}

“Hey Snowdrake?” I ask.

“Yes. You have a bit of adv-ice?”

“Well I have some for you. You shoulda been the third rapper on “Straight Outa Kompton” ‘cause you’re a real Ice Cube!”

Snowdrake hovers for a moment, but he starts laughing soon enough. “Nice one! I’ll make sure to live up to him. He’s pretty cold-blooded!”

“Well, most rappers are like that in public, so… I spare you—“

Snowdrake flies away, and I drop to the ground. [And more gold!]

{Yep!}

[Let’s go! We’re close to Snowdin Town! Just a little more! Keep at it!]

We walk toward the skeletons’ voices, and soon, we hear them arguing? I don’t even know anymore… about a puzzle.

“Human! I hope you’re ready for the next puzzle!”

“I swear… what’s next: a pit of toxic waste that burns my skin off if I move my legs?”

“No! Sans made it! Now, behold!”

A few awkward moments later…

“Saaaans! Where’s the puzzle!?!?”

“it’s right there. On the ground. Trust me. There’s no way she can get past this one…”

“Oh shit…”

“Don’t worry. Just walk forward and you’ll find it. It’s on the ground.”

I drop to my knees and crawl forward cautiously, feeling for any unusual markings on the ground. I eventually find some raised, compacted snow, and follow it, trying to discern its shape. I eventually reach some snow that… feels different… from the rest.

[Duuude?]

{Yeah?}

[Whoa… feel it! Well crawl a little to the left then feel it!]

{Hoooooly shiiit it’s braille snow?!?}

[Yeah. Read it!]

Hey! Can you help me solve this puzzle? Find all the words below:

Backslash Slit Edge Sword Drive Battle Soul Summon Bolt Gale Slash Butterfly Step
Ice Cabbage Dance Apple Ether Cylinder Cylinder Gauge Blossom Dance! Mind Blast
Jump! Speed! Shield! Buster! Smash! Purge! Streeeeeeeam Edge! MALLC

{Wait--the fuuuuuck???}

[It’s the key to a word search… or it seems like it, based on your memories…]

{If we read the rest of the ice maybe we’ll find it…}

[Yeah… let’s do that…]

{Chara? You don’t sound so sure…}

[It’ll be fine. Be glad Papyrus didn’t make the toxic waste pit puzzle…]

I crawl back to the beginning of the puzzle and begin feeling for more snow braille… only to find none.

After a few more minutes, I stand up and ask to no one in particular, “What the fuck is this puzzle!? It’s a word search but there’s no words!”

“Saaaaans! That didn’t do anything!”

“You call me crawling on the ground to solve a snow braille word search nothing!?”

“I knew I shoulda used today’s crossword instead.”

“Oh heeeell noooo! Crosswords are a pain in the—“

“Crossword? I can’t believe you! In my opinion, Junior Jumble is easily the hardest!”

“That doesn’t sound hard…”

“What? Really? Duuuude… that’s easy peezy word scramble. That’s for baby bones…”

“[Whauw whauw whaaaauw…]”

“Huuuuman! Solve this dispute!”

“{Uh…}”

“I mean… if you’re unscrambling short but obscure words I gueeeeess? it could be hard…?”

“Yes! Humans must be very intelligent, if they also find Junior Jumble so difficult. Gneh heh heh!”

“Duuuude… like for real though, crosswords are a pain in the ass… because Spanish homework…”

*Shudder…*

Again, Papyrus storms away. Sans crunches toward me this time stead of appearing near me like Alvis being a stalker…

“Hey. Thanks for saying Junior Jumble just to appease my brother. Yesterday he got stumped ‘solving’ the horoscope—“

“Well if he couldn’t figure out which sign he was, I suppose he could solve it…?”

“Not like those things tell you anything valuable about you anyways.”

“Yeah true they, like, say something general enough you can accept it, ‘cause people look for things that already match them.”

“Like I’d ever find anything relatable in there. No humans have gone through anything monsters have…”

[Whoa…]

“FYI Snowdin Town’s to the east of here. It’s not far. You want me to help you get there? ‘Cause Xenoblade ice physics…”

“Yes pleeeease!”

… … … “You can use magic to ski without skis?” I shout as we skid along the ice.

“Yeh. Pretty much. We’re not that heavy combined, so…”

“Fair enough.”

[Waaaaaait! Stooooop!]

{Whyyyy?}

[Saaaave poooooint!]

“Saaaans stooop!”

“Where?”

[Tell him to stop at the tables!]

“The tables!”

Sans laughs all of a sudden. “Sure kid.”

We slide a little more, then eventually stop. I reach a hand out and feel a, table?

[Knowing the mouse might one day find a way to heat up the spaghetti… It fills you with determination.]

{Heh?}

[It’s like the cheese and the mousehole… but your hand’s next to a frozen plate of spaghetti and a microwave and all the buttons say spaghetti and there’s a mousehole near here, and a note!]

{Heh?}

“Heya. There’s a note here for you. Want me to read it?”

“Sure…?”

Human! Enjoy the spaghetti. Little do you know, the spaghetti is a trap, meant to entice you! You’ll be so busy eating it, that you will realize you are not progressing! Thoroughly japed again by the Great Papyrus! Gneh Heh heh!

“Wow… just… I can’t even… why would he believe the spaghetti would…?”

“Spaghetti’s his thing. It’s like… most humans on the Internet and bacon—“

‘Baaaacoooon!”

“Exactly. He always cooks spaghetti at our place. So get used to it.”

“Not like I’m complaining at home the spaghetti was gooood.”

“You should give Paps some tips. He’s been taking cooking lessons from Undyne—“

[Dear Alvis…]

“Undyne?”

“Yeh. The head of the Royal Guard. Why?”

“Oh nooooo…”

“Don’t worry. Paps sees her every day. I’ll make sure he doesn’t spill the beans about you till you’re ready.”

“Sure…?”

“Oh yeah also: we’ll be sliding over some rougher snow ‘cause it’s covering up the solution to the next puzzle. I’ll slow down—“

“Jesus what the—“

Loud noises…

[I was wondering when we’d encounter them…]

{“Who…?”}

“Oh. Them? That’s Dogamy and Dogaressa. Two Royal Guard members.”

“Two dogs?”

“Yeh. So?”

“So Asgore trained attack dogs to hunt humans?”

“Basically?”

As the dogs’ barking becomes progressively louder, Chara warns [Hey I know you wanna nope the hell out of here but to dodge their attacks you can’t move. You can’t—]

{Don’t care!}

“Sans?”

“You wanna slide outa here?”

“Yeeees pleeeeease!”

Chapter Text

09

As Sans increases our speed, the barking follows us. I hear grinding sounds in front of us after moving several dozen more feet. [You guys slid on top of a switch to retract some spikes. And you’ll have to do that again soon except you’ll have to slide? Step? On some tiles while doing it. You should have Sans stop so you can do that.]

“Kid? There’s an Xoxo puzzle coming up. I’ll stop a couple feet from it. You just have to walk on the tiles. Then we can keep going.”

“But what about the—“

“Dogamy and Dogaressa? They’re far away enough, it’s fine. Just walk straight.”

I’m happy to oblige. As I step off the last tile, my heel presses a switch down, and the familiar grinding sound of retracting occurs. Sans touches my hand to his elbow again, and we continue skiing? Sliding? Away from the two dogs…

Who are still following me…

“Fuuuuck why are they still following me!?”

“They smell you. But don’t worry they’ll probably give up soon. You’ll know when.”

“Probably?”

“Saaans!? What are you and the human doing!? Saaaans!?” Papyrus demands as we slide past him.

“Papyrus fuck off dogs are chasing me!” I yell at him.

Papyrus replies, now sliding alongside us, “But I have been waiting here for you! I wanted to know whether I japed you with my spaghetti!”

“No time for that! Later!”

“But I have modified the next puzzle for you! While you solve it, you can tell me about your reaction to my clever jape!”

“Laaaater!!”

“But this puzzle looks—“

Papyrus stops, then continues, “I mean feels like—my face! As you attempt to solve it, you will grow to appreciate how highbrow I am!”

{Oh heeeeell nooo he didn’t!}

“Dude not funny!”

“You will not know until you try solving it!”

“Calling things ‘highbrow’ is racist! And fine I’ll try it. But if the dogs come over here it’s all your fault!”

“Very well. Saaaans! Make sure the dogs do not come over here! I will instruct the human!”

“Okay.”

Papyrus walks away a few feet and proceeds to yell instructions at me. “Human! Walk to the left!”

I do as he says but feel no tiles under my feet. “But I don’t feel any tiles! You mean the right! You’re facing me so it’s to the right not the left!”

“Just walk on it while holding onto her.” Sans calls out. “That’s what I did for the Snow puzzle.”

“Papyrus crunches back toward me. After a couple seconds, he loudly asks while facing me, “Human! How did other humans give you directions!?”

“Depends…?”

“Would they do what I did!?” he presses.

“No… they’d… use cardinal directions or the positions on a clock—“

“Okay! Human, I will stand at the end of the puzzle and give you directions! Is this suitable?!”

Sans advises, “Yeh. It should be. As long as you don’t confuse three and nine o’clock.”

“Also as long as you’re not too far away for me to hear you over these fucking dogs!…!”

“Saaaans! You were not the one to find this brilliant solution! Now watch and learn!”

Papyrus walks away again and begins yelling, “The first tile is at seven o’clock, in… two Sanses!”

“You mean feet?”

“No! I mean two of Sans lying down! Because he does this more often than standing on his own two feet!”

“{[Whauw whauw whaaaaauw…]}”

“I’m four feet ten, or 1.27 meters, if you’re into that.”

[Why are you soooo embarrassed all of a sudden?]

{*Sigh…* ‘cause Sans is short but still taller than me…}

“Okay.”

“You will soon feel the edge of the tile with your foot!”

… “The seventh tile out of fifteen is at two o’clock in one-and-a-half Sanses—“

“You mean… uh…”

“Basically seven and a half feet…” Sans supplies.

“Precisely!”

… “Alrighty! Are you ready to step on the final tile!?”

“Yeah.”

“I am standing behind it! Human, follow my voice!”

“I can hear you just fine—“

*Cue Papyrus quoting Xenoblade characters obnoxiously loudly…*

As I step on the last tile, Papyrus grabs me by the back of my bag, hoists me into the air, and wraps his arms around me. “Huuuman! I, the Great Papyrus, am proud of your accomplishments! Now we may proceed—“

“About that bro? The dogs are almost to that Xoxo puzzle behind us. If we wanna get home ASAP, we better split. And Pauline was holding onto—“

“Nonsense! I can guide her much better than you can! I saw you slide over here! How dare you not let her try my spaghetti!” Papyrus begins sliding along, still holding onto me.

“Dude it was frozen to the table!”

“That is no excuse! I prepared that spaghetti especially—“

“Fuuuuck what’s happening?!”

“You’re sliding around another puzzle. Paps is really proud he came up with it but he’s skipping it for the sake of time.”

“Mark my words human, we will return to this puzzle in the future! You must be japed by—“

“Uh, bro? You may wanna pick up the pace.”

More barking, but much closer this time…

“Oh no…”

[Yep. That’s Lesser Dog…]

{Now there’s three dogs chasing me!?}

[Yeah…]

“Why are you so afraid human? I, the Great Papyrus, will protect you! And besides: they are fellow Royal Guard members! They are admirable—“

“But you’re not in it yet…” I point out.

“Well I might as well be!” Papyrus retorts as we slide ever faster on the snow. The snow soon turns to ice as Sans calls out, “Paps is helping you get through the last Xoxo puzzle. He’s pressing the tiles down as you pass by them.”

“Thanks!” I try my best to turn around to thank him, but I fall out of his grip in the process, skidding along the ice for several feet on my side.

In the midst of my slide, I am suddenly wrenched into the air by the back of my bag and my ankles so I am on my back instead. “Oh myyyyy Gooood!” Papyrus’s voice sounds from near my head. “Human! Are you okay! I did not intend to let go of you!”

“I-i-i-it’s f-f-f-fine. J-j-j-just… c-c-c-c-cold… t-t-t-that’s a-a-a-all…”

“You’re not hurt. That’s all that matters.” Sans reassures me from near my feet. “Come on. We’ll both hold onto you as we slide into town. I bet the shopkeeper and Nice Cream guy will think our entrance is real slick—“

“Sans!” Papyrus, reprimands, Sans. “This is no time for puns! The human is hurt! And you make fun of how she fell!? How dare you! You are tarnishing the reputation of us skeletons! I, for one, am a skeleton with standards!”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

The two skeletons prop me up between them with magic, Papyrus grripping my right arm tightly to his side. Sans presses his right hand to my shoulder. “We’re crossing the bridge into town. We’ll get you all warmed up in the Snowdin shop. Then we’ll figure out what to do next.”

“Sure!” I shout over the ever-louder barks of the three dogs. As the rock beneath my feet turns back into snow, the back half of my bag rips off, aggressive barking accompanying it.

“Yooooou!” Papyrus screams. “Why you little—“

He quickly lets go of me and sprints back the way we came. “How dare you attack the human like this! At least I will announce when I am attacking them! And she is also blind! She did not even know how far behind her u were!”

“Whoa he’s pissed…?”

“Yeah.” Sans seems, surprised. “I didn’t expect that. But he’ll get your pack back. Just give it time. We’re only a few dozen feet away from the shop anyway. Can you walk it?”

“Yeah. Thanks for all that—“

Sans repositions our arms so I am holding onto his right elbow. “No problem kid. I’ve never had to do that on that puzzle before, but,”

He does not finish his sentence.

{Seriously why does he keep doing that?}

[You know.]

{No i—}

[Yes, you do. You’re just not admitting it yet.]

{What do you--?}

Chara mentally huffs. [Fine. Keep deluding yourself into thinking you don’t understand anything about this world. ‘Cause believe it or not, you know a lot. Hell knowing a lot has helped you not die so far. If you embraced that--]

{It’s not like that! I was just wondering why Sans keeps saying he’s never had to do stuff before, or how he’s doing new things! Is his normal life boring?}

Silence between Chara and I. [Yes. You’re right. But I won’t say anything more. I’ll let Sans tell you eventually. It’s better that way…]

“Kid? We’re here. I’m opening the door.”

“Okay.”

I step into the store.

“Oh wait… everyone’s used to it being cold here so there’s no heat…” Sans says aloud what I just realized physically. “Hey! Light up that stove in the back! It’s cold in here.” He calls.

“Why—oh! A human? Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t warm this place up sooner! It may take a while to light the fire, even with magic. It may be better if you take her to Grillby’s.”

“Oh yeah. Thanks for the suggestion. But first: you want anything here? It’s been a while since we ate. There’s some other stuff here too. I can tell you ‘bout them if you want.”

“What do they have?”

“Well let’s just ignore the cold stuff—“

“Why the hell—“

“Everyone here doesn’t have to care about how cold food is. Including me. The only non-cold food in here is the Cinnamon Bunny, at twenty-five gold a piece. How much cash do you have?”

“Five hundred…?”

Sans whistles.

{How the hell can Sans whistle if he has no tongue?}

[Don’t know…] is Chara’s… uncomfortable… response…

“They’re about the size of your palm, if that helps.”

“How much can I afford to buy without wasting my money…?” I think aloud.

[Come on man! You have an easy source of income! You can buy as much as you want! Go crazy!]

{But I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to play with the ball!}

[Doesn’t matter! You have plenty! Besides: Toriel gave you that Butterscotch Cinnamon Pie slice that heals all your HP! So you can buy a little less…]

{Fine…}

“Can I buy four—“

[Only?]

{Seriously?}

[Who knows when you’ll come back here?]

{Fine…}

“Six, Cinnamon Bunnies, please?”

“Sure! That will be 150 gold.”

I walk forward until my hands touch the counter, and I lay the front part of my bag on it. I reach inside and pull out some gold. I begin counting it out, but the owner just scoots it to her side of the counter. “This is twenty-five gold already. As you take gold out I can count it up for you.”

“Thanks.”

{Shit how will I pay her this will take foreeeeever!}

[Well the bag gave you the right amount the first time…]

{Why don’t you guys have paper money!?}

[We never needed it…]

{Ugh Asgore I swear…}

[Just keep taking out handfuls.]

*Five handfuls of gold and six Cinnamon Bunnies later…*

[Hey there’s a Manly Bandana here for fifty--]

{Where did it come from?}

[Ally—]

{Oh heeeeell noooo!}

[Fine…]

“This should be it for now.” I turn around, trying to face Sans.

“No problem. Just wanted to tell you, you can also place orders for items here if you want,. You can probably order a charger for the BrailleNote.”

“Oh yeah!”

“You want to order a printed item?” the shopkeeper asks.

“Whoa you have 3D printers!?”

“Yes we do, in Hotland. If you tell me what item you want I can notify Alphys. She will then go online and look for a suitable image of it. Then she’ll print it out and send it back here for you to look at to make sure it’s the right thing.”

“The thing is,” Sans explains, “is that she’s blind. I’ll have to help her with that.”

She gasps softly. “Oh I—I didn’t mean—“

“It’s okay. You couldn’t have known without us telling you.”

“I, I am sorry. It is just…” the owner sounds much more troubled than I ever would have imagined. “At least I know now. The problem is that sometimes it takes time for Alphys to even find good images. Sometimes she even has to settle for a substitute item. It can take between a few hours to a few days to complete the process.”

“it’s fine. I can wait.”

“Give her the BrailleNote then so she can deliver it to Alphys so she knows what to look for,” Sans suggests. “I’ll get it out of your bag.”

“but it’s… it’s expensive,” I say weakly.

“How much?”

“Eight? Thousand dollars. U.S. dollars. I don’t know how much this is in gold but…”

“And it has all your important stuff on it too.”

{He remembers!}

[Why wouldn’t he?]

“Yeah…”

“Tell you what: I’ll bring it with me the next time I go see her. That will be tomorrow afternoon. I’ll make sure nothing happens to it.”

“Okay,” I breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Okay then,” the shopkeep affirms. “Why do you need to bring this alongside the order?”

“I need a charger for it but I don’t know how easily, Alphys, can find images for it.”

“What kind is it? I can at least tell her that. And also, whatever this is…” She trails off. “May I see it?”

“It’s a kind of AC adapter. And sure.”

I flip the leather case open, revealing the keys. “May I touch the… bumps?” she asks.

“Yeah. It’s off. And probably dead. Right now anyway…”

“She writes using that,” Sans explains as she runs her fingers over the braille display. “The dots are programmed to raise up or go down. And that’s how they make the dots for the letters and numbers.”

{I never told him how--}

[Come on! Why are you even surprised at this point? Sans is smart okay?]

{Yeah… truuuuue…}

“I… I can’t imagine how you would read and write using this,” she almost whispers. “If you don’t mind, if you’re not busy, can you come by and show me how it works? Once the charger is done?”

“We can both show you braille before then,” Sans answers.

“Yeah,” I agree.

“Thank you. That will make my time here much more interesting. Sometimes business can be slow.”

“No problem,” Sans turns around, hands me my bag, and takes my arm. “I’ll take us to Grillby’s now, if you’re ready. I know a shortcut.”

Sans grasps my arm again, but the shopkeeper stops us before we can walk out the door. “Wait! At least introduce her to the Nice Cream guy down the street. Or take him to Grillby’s with you so she doesn’t get cold out there…”

“You want some Nice Cream?” Sans asks as we walk out the door.

“You mean ice cream right?”

“No Nice Cream. ‘Cause it’s actually nice. This is on the way to Grillby’s so don’t worry it won’t—“

“Hello?” someone calls out to us.

Sans turns off the street and stops. “The Nice Cream guy’s cart is in front of you.”

“Hi.”

“Oh! A customer? Finally! I can’t tell you how long monsters have been passing by without buying anything!”

“Why do they keep ignoring you?”

“I don’t know!” the Nice Cream cart owner seems… distressed… “They just keep complaining about how when they want to buy one, it takes forever for me to make some for them! By the time I’m finished, they’re too impatient and they leave again!”

“Wait hold up you make the nice cream on the spot?”

“Yes! I make them from scratch myself!”

“By yourself?”

“Yes!”

“So no one helps you?”

“No. Why do you ask?”

“Capitalism?”

{I never thought I’d ever have to do this…}

“You should find some people—I mean monsters—“

{Shit I feel bad…{

“—to help you so it’s faster.”

“But this is my business! Why should I let other people do the work for me? I don’t want anyone interfering with my product! I want it to be as high quality as possible!”

“Well,” I start to explain, “if you find someone to package the Nice Cream, and someone to find the ingredients, and someone to mix it—“

“Yes?”

“You can spend less time making and more time selling. And make customers happy.”

The Nice Cream guy considers. “I’ve thought about it. And I’ve even asked some monsters around here. But no one wants to! They think it will be boring!”

[Cue the nine-to-five work jokes…]

{Come on that’s not even relevant!}

“If you give them something they want in exchange, they might do it.”

“You mean like gold?”

“Yeah! You just have to make sure you don’t give them it all, or else you won’t have enough left to buy your stuff.”

[Revenue and profit margins?]

{Yeah!}

“Hey guys,” Sans interrupts, “let’s talk about this at Grillby’s. ‘Cause kid? You seem chilled down to the bone right now…”

“Whauw whauw whaaaaauw…”

“Okay!” the Nice Cream guy agrees. “I’ll put up a ‘Closed’ sign right now.”

After a couple seconds and some clanking noises, I hear the Nice Cream guy say from next to me, “Let’s go then. And, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you know that finding monsters to help me make my Nice Cream would make them easier to sell?”

“School stuff.”

“But how can I learn this?”

[A wild Adam Smith appears!]

“Well… it would be easiest if you had some books about business or economics in the library. Or if you have a computer you can look some stuff up. That’s better than me just telling it to you from memory.”

“My laptop is back at my cart. I’ll go get it.”

“Sure!”

As he runs away, the Nice Cream guy calls out, “What’s this book called? I can load it up so it’s open by the time I meet up with you again at Grillby’s.”

“It’s called ‘The Wealth of Nations’,” I call back. “It’s by a guy called Adam Smith. Any human high school recent economics book should work too.”

“Oh yeah I’ve heard of him! I even read his stuff a long time ago! But he talked about wine, not ice cream, so I never finished it and I didn’t think it was relevant…”

Chapter Text

10

**Loop until the next note.

“I mean, if you want to help me I’ll be happy to find a way you can do it,” the Nice Cream guy agrees after reading through The Wealth of Nations… or least enough of it that he understands how specialization works…

“Like, normally I’d have to have a job interview and get permits and stuff before I can even work, but… I guess not around here.”

“So you really wanna work?” Sans can’t believe it. “Man. I thought you wanted to lie in bed all day.”

“I do! But… like… I don’t know how I’ll get money to buy all my stuff… and it seems like I’ll be staying down here for a while, so…”

“I’m just trying to think,” Nice Cream guy ponders, “of a job you could do by yourself. I… I want to have control over the creation of the Nice Cream. Even if someone else has to measure out the ingredients I want to still be the one mixing it. I’d think that’d be… hard… for you…”

“I mean I could do it… whether it’d be practical’ the thing. I did cooking a few years ago but besides that I don’t cook at home. I microwave and toast stuff but that’s it.”

“And keep in mind, you may be used to working out in the cold, but her? Humans aren’t built to withstand that for long. You may wanna move your stuff near the shop. Somewhere warmer, but close enough you can keep an eye on her.”

“Yeah,” he muses. “I keep forgetting humans can only tolerate cold by wearing layers and layers of clothing. I should have thought of that first.”

“Ehh, it’s okay. It’s not the worst thing in the world. At least you thought of it before I got to work and sat out there for eight hours and froze to death.”

Nice Cream guy laughs lightly. “Well I’m not that negligent. I’ll have you put on the outermost wrapping on the Nice Cream. The Nice Cream is actually wrapped in a second piece of material as well, but I can have someone else do that. Sealing the Nice Creams in their individual outermost bags will be less messy and faster. Although I seal them shut with magic, so I don’t know how you’ll do it…”

“Maybe we could place an order for a machine which seals them. I could put the wrappers and Nice Creams in and the machine could, dispense, magic, to seal them shut. And I could seal lots of them at once. Because mechanization and specialization are bestest manufacturing tools…”

[If handled right…?]

{Yeah but you get it… at least I think you do…}

[Come on I’m getting flashbacks from your econ classes… of course I get it…]

{True. Uh. Chara?}

[Yeah?]

{What the hell do I call the Nice Cream guy? Do you know his real name?}

[Like, people just referred to him as the Nice Cream guy around me. You can ask…?]

“Uh,” I lean across the table, hoping I’m talking to the right monster, “do people call you something besides Nice Cream guy? ‘Cause, like, if I’m gonna be working for you it’s only fair I—“

**Stop the music.**

The door to Grillby’s crashes open. The dozen or so monsters around us continue talking like nothing happened. Chara and I, on the other hand, react exactly like you would expect.

“[Fuuuuuuck!]”

“I, the Great Papyrus, have returned from my run-in with the other members of the Royal Guard!” he shouts, running toward our table. “I have brought your bag back, safe and sound!”

He pulls up the chair next to me and plonks the back half of my bag onto the table.

“Oh thank God,” I begin to say. “Did they, like, attack you?”

“Not at all! And even if they did, they would be no match for me!”

Papyrus gnheh heh hehs. “You will witness this soon enough! After all, I have yet to properly attempt capturing you!”

“Oh no…”

{[Fuuuuuuuck!]}

“You can’t be serius.” Sans breathes.

[Whoa Sans being serious again though…?]

{Yeah… and I agree!}

“Of course I am being serious brother,” Papyrus rolls his rs on the word “brother,” and I try… and fail… suppressing a laugh.

“It’s like Spanish all over again…”

“She managed to survive my puzzles only because you altered them! I must attempt to capture her, without any interference! If I succeed, Undyne will—“

“But she can’t see,” Sans emphasizes. “The only reason she got through your puzzle was ‘cause you described it. How could she stand a chance fighting you?”

“nonsense Sans! She solves puzzles every day! She can at least prove a worthy opponent for me before she is inevitably captured!”

“Solves puzzles every day…?” I repeat.

“Of cooooourse!” he shouts in my face proper. “While searching for you I read the notes you had placed in your bag—“

“[Wait whaaaaat?!]”

“Yeh. I’m confused too,” Sans slowly agrees. “You already know how to read braille?”

“How could I not? I, the Great Papyrus, saw the pieces of paper you failed to throw away at our house over the past several days and wondered what they were. I learned that dot writing is called braille and memorized its components. It proved, rather challenging, actually,” he admits.

“Whoa…” I’m still in shock. “So, you like, learned braille by memorization alone…?”

[Yeah I’m surprised too… but not too much.]

“It is rather different from what I, the Great Papyrus, am used to,” Papyrus continues, “but nothing I could not handle! If you could learn to write in a completely different system from our own and walk around by yourself, my puzzles would be a breeze by comparison!”

[Uh, nope!]

{Yep…}

“It doesn’t exactly work like that…” I try explaining. “Like yeah, braille and O&M are hard but they don’t involve spikes and invisible electric fences!”

“Well they do now!” Papyrus seems to have completely missed my point… “You will have no trouble fighting me!”

“I… I guess there’s no convincing you otherwise,” I sigh and confirm with him.

Sans answers, “Yeah. There’s not.”

“At least, if we’re gonna do this, let me get used to Snowdin first. ‘Cause I had to learn how to walk around, the rest of the Underground up to this point—“

[You’re not telling him about the Ruins?]

{Does he know about them?}

[I… don’t know…? Maybe?]

“—around Home. And Snowdin has a lot more peop-monsters and buildings int it. And they’re out in the open, so, yeah. You guys will have to orient me to this place.”

Everyone at our table falls silent for a few moments.

“Of course I will help you!” papyrus offers in his usual, Emile-ish, way. “I am up to the task of leading you around Snowdin.”

“Or you can put braille plaques or signs next to each door on the outside of each building,” Sans offers. “We can sculpt them out of ice if we need something shortterm.”

Papyrus jumps up from the table, knocking over… knocking his chair several feet across the room… in the process. “ I shall begin doing so right away! Until we meet again human. And hopefully, that will be in battle! Gnheh heh heh!”

He proceeds to run out the door, banging it open and shut like he did when he arrived.

After a few more moments of awkward silence, I tentatively comment, “Uh… like, I didn’t know Papyrus would do all that stuff to learn braille. And he did it without any help from anyone!”

Sans chuckles. “Why are you so surprised? I told you: if Paps ever genuinely tried capturing humans, he’d be pretty damn good at it. He has amazing capacities for auditory and visual learning.”

“I should tell him to make some landmarks for helping you find my Nice Cream stand,” Nice Cream guy points out. “it would make it much easier for you to get to work every day.”

“Truuue…?”

“And also: I never had time to tell you my name. The other shopkeepers around here call me Robin.”

I clarify, “Like Smash Robin or human ice cream brand Robin?”

“The Ice cream brand.”

“Nice!”

“I took that name after finding out about the brand online, from human food reviewers.”

“Sweet!”

Sans starts laughing again. “Nice. Just like Robin’s Nice Cream…”

*Cue stifled laughing from Chara*

{Shut up!}

“Whauw whauw whaaaauw…”

“So you didn’t mean it to be a pun?”

“No I just, thought Robin naming himself after an ice cream brand was… pretty sweet…”

I trail off, realizing I’m just continuing to make the unintentional pun…

“You know,” Robin stands up from his seat, “we’ve been sitting here for a while and you never got to meet Grillby yet. Or order any food. You want me to ask him over here?”

Before I can respond, Sans says “Sure thing.”

Robin pads across the room as Sans takes the chair Papyrus used. He leans in close to my ear and whispers, “You better be careful around Grillby. He’s quite the hothead.”

“Okay… long as he’s less hyper than Papyrus we’re good…”

“Grillby’s here,” Robin calls out as he walks toward our side of the table. “Grillby this is Pauline."

“Uh Robin, the thing is, Grillby can’t talk. Or at least he doesn’t choose to. So, how will this work? And sign language won’t work ‘cause someone’s gonna have to translate for him all the time.”

“Can we, like, have him type on my phone?”

“Maybe… but he might melt it—“

“Wait hold up. Melt it?”

“Well he’s made of fire, after all. Don’t you sense it? He’s standing about four feet away from you, on your left side.”

After a couple seconds, I confirm that I sense some heat emanating from… somewhere… a couple feet away.

“Uh, Grillbs,” Sans turns to the left, speaking nervously, “she only has one phone. So if something happens to it—“

[Save?]

{Save!}

[Then we can reset if anything happens…]

“He wants you to unlock it,” Sans tells me.

I stand up and walk a couple feet so I’m standing next to Sans’ chair. My phone is placed in my hand, and I unlock it using my fingerprint. I turn off the voiceover and hold it out in front of me. Soon after I hear the clicking sounds of typing.

“Wait if he’s—you’re,” I correct, “made of fire how the hell are you even—?”

Grillby finishes typing and turns the voiceover on. I discover he’s created a new note, and I read it.

Hello nice to meet you, human. I am the most precise magic user in the Underground. Well I think so anyway. I’m not made of fire. I’m just warm most of the time.

“Oh… that, makes sense…”

[Whauw whauw whaaaaauw…]

“That’s good!” Robin exclaims. “You two can communicate at least. All we have to do is braille the menu—“

Robin stops mid-sentence. “I can make it for you,” Sans reassures him. “I’ll do that tomorrow. But in the meantime, what do you recommend Pauline orders? We gotta celebrate her arrival in style.”

*A burger, fries, and several bottles of ketchup later…*

“Thanks for everything, Grillby.”

When we finish eating, I undo the fingerprint restriction on my phone and make my password easy to type, even with the voiceover on. ‘No problem,’ Grillby types. ‘That’ll be 280 gold for your meal.’

“Ehh, put it on my tab kid. It’s no problem—“

“I can pay for my own food I have cash.”

[So harsh with Sans though…?]

{I didn’t mean it--}

[Of course you didn’t…]

{*Sigh…*}

“And besides I wanna give him a ginormous tip for reading… typing out… the menu… for me.”

“You got a point. Do what you want kid. I’ll help count up your money.”

“Sans? Why the hell doesn’t the Underground have paper money? Or larger amounts for gold?”

“We haven’t needed it, I already told you. People use magic on their bags so they can hold all their gold.”

“But seriously this is getting annoying… someone oughta tell Asgore… And also if you have five gold or ten gold coins it’ll be easier to count your money.”

“I’d like that.” another one of Sans’ laughs.

Grillby taps me on the shoulder. ‘Where will you be going now? Do you have anywhere to stay? There should be a room at the Snowed Inn you can stay in.’

“Yeah. Good point Grillbs. I’ll have to have Paps clean the house in the meantime anyway. And the Snowed Inn isn’t too big so you should be able to figure it out on your own.”

“Sure. But, it’s literally called the Snowed Inn?”

Grillby types, ‘Yes. Why do you ask?’

“Dear Alvis it’s a pun?” I half ask, half groan.

“Alvis? He’s the High Entian royal seer from Xenoblade, isn’t he?”

{[Shit.]}

“Yeah. I just say that most of the time ‘cause ‘dear God’ triggers people…”

“Well why would you use his name in that way?”

“It just… sounds cool…”

[Why would you say it Sans hasn’t even finished watching the Let’s Play yet—“

{I know I know I forgot!}

“I’ll help you over to the Snowed Inn,” Robin offers, “and Sans? You can help Grillby with the braille menu. Then I’ll start researching the Nice Cream-wrapping machine. Engineering’s not my thing, but I’m sure there must be some human analogue out there I can send over.”

“Yeah thanks a lot man.” I stand up, Robin laying a hand… paw… on my hand, prompting me to hold onto his arm. “Bye Sans bye Grillby. See you later.”

“More like see you tomorrow kid,” Sans calls out as we walk out the door. “it’s late. Like, past nine o’clock late.”

“Holy shit…”

Robin explains, “Most of the businesses besides the library are all on the same street. Grillby’s is in the middle. The main shop is on one end and the Snowed Inn is on the other. When you walk out the door, if you turn right you’ll find it. If the snow gets all rough under your feet you’ve walked too far.”

“So the street is on my left?”

“Exactly. The path up to the door is cleared of snow and a bell rings when the door opens. So you might find it if you follow the sound of someone walking in or out.”

After following his directions, Robin holds the door open as we walk in the entrance. “The desk is to your right.”

Chara guides me to the desk and I ask, “Hello. I want a room please.”

“Okay,” the innkeeper says. “That will be eighty gold.”

I reach in the front pocket of my bag and begin counting out my gold. I’ve only counted out ten before Robin and the innkeeper begin helping me. “I’m sorry, but you only have seventy gold,” she tells me.

“Fuuuck!”

[Calm down man she’s cool with it--]

{But I can’t pay her! I shoulda bought less at Grillby’s…}

“Don’t worry,” she coos. “I can let you stay here for free, if you want, until you find another place to stay. Here’s your room key.”

She touches my hand as she slides a plastic card across the desk. “Your room is the last door on the right, at the end of the hall you first get to on the second floor after climbing the stairs. The stairs are in the back of this room, on the right.”

“Thank you soooo much—“

“It is no problem,” she cuts me off as politely as she can. “Just by staying in my inn you’re attracting business. People will want to see the human after all.”

{Oh yeah…}

“Oh yeah…”

“Actually my sister who runs the shop told me about you. She said you might be coming. And,” she laughs a little, “Papyrus stopped by to notify me of him putting a, braille, sign, in front, so you can find this building.”

“Nice.”

“I’m grateful he’s doing that actually. This town is, confusing sometimes, with the sidewalk getting covered in snow.”

She steps out from behind the desk. “I’ll help you to your room. If you need anything, just dial 000 on the room phone.”

I flop down on my bed as Robin finishes describing the layout of my room. “We can push the bed up against the wall if you want so you don’t fall over. Or we can find a room that has a bed like that.”

“This is fine—“

“It won’t be too much trouble. We only have to move it a few feet. And we’ll be using magic.”

Before I can refuse the offer again, I blurt “Okay.” The bed slides along the carpeted floor, while I’m still sitting on it. It bumps against the wall before coming to a stop. “There. The bed is also closer to the bathroom now.”

“Thank you guys.”

“Your welcome,” the innkeeper replies. “The desk is across from the foot of your bed. I’ll move it so it’s right next to the head of your bed.”

“Sure.”

Robin begins walking toward the door. “Is there anything else you need? I don’t start work until ten o’clock tomorrow morning, so if you need help with anything tonight I have plenty of time.”

“Nah. Just, where’s the power outlet?”

“One of them is in the wall at the head of your bed, near the floor. It’s between the bed and the table. Your bed is also across from the TV. The remote is on that table too. Its pretty easy to use. There are, like, several channels, but they’re all static except one.”

“You guys don’t use the TV?”

“We do,” the innkeeper laughs. “Just for Mettaton’s show though. You can’t miss it flipping through channels. It’s channel one.”

“Thanks for everything. I’m gonna prepare for bed.”

“Okay. Neither of us live too far from here, so if you need anything just call.”

“Okay.”

“Good night,” the two monsters call as they close the hotel room door.

[Let me guess: you’re just gonna floss and mouthwash but not brush your teeth and then binge-watch videos with me in bed?]

“Yeah…”

Chara appears, sitting on the bed beside me. “But first? I have a suggestion.”

“What?”

“Tomorrow we’ll go to the library. Even if the books aren’t in braille there’s probably someone who can read you the important parts. Or I can do it. If you’re gonna, fight, Papyrus, you have to know how magic works.”

“Truuuue…”

“Meaning you’ll have to learn how magic works and relearn some laws of physics ‘cause I know how much you struggled in Physics Honors last year.”

“Yeah… but Chara? I never needed Robin and her to move my bed and that table. I coulda managed with this stuff where it was.”

“I knew that. I… I just thought it’d make your stay here easier. Like, I don’t know how long we’ll be staying here, so—“

“So you made those two help me by making me ask?”

“I knew it wouldn’t be too much trouble for them to do this. So I made you say it ‘cause you wouldn’t have said it otherwise. It seemed like you didn’t trust Robin. Just ‘cause the first thing he did when he saw you was solicit you for his Nice Cream—either that or ‘cause all you wanted was to be alone and didn’t want them here.”

“I—it’s not—why the hell would you—“

Chara continues like I never spoke. “I may not have trusted everyone completely down here but even I knew Robin was a good person—monster. Everyone’s just trying to help out. Whether they do it in the way you want is the thing… but they still try the best they can.”

“But Asgore trained fucking attack dogs to hunt down humans! And they didn’t even stop until Papyrus went after them. How do I know that there aren’t more of them?”

“There are more Royal Guard members. And it’s good you’re freaking out about meeting them. Her. Even I did, a little. Which is why you need to lab?Research? Magic. Tomorrow. So you’ll stand a chance against Undyne.”

“Oh no…”

“Yeah… Undyne’s… confrontational,” Chara slowly says the word.

{Holy shit Chara wouldn’t have heard that word before meeting me wouldn’t they how old are they?}

“Look: I promise when you defeat Papyrus you’ll be home free for a while. ‘Cause if you impress Papyrus you’ll impress Undyne.”

“I guess…”

Chara hands me my phone and my phone charger from my bag. “Dude come on! You, like, worry too much. Even if some of it’s justified not all of it is. Like, we haven’t gotten to learning about the Civil War on Crash Course yet! And, that’s, like, exciting!”

“Exciting? It’s actually horrible. There were worse things that happened after but, like, in America this is one of the most horrible. And you think it’s… exciting.”

“Well it is! They, like, have better technology now so it doesn’t take a thousand years for someone to get shot.”

“And healthcare was shit. A soldier might as well have been shot rather than sent to a doctor if he got hurt…”

“But they finally figured out how to fire multiple rounds before reloading. How the hell—“

“Chara! Seriously not cool!”

“But—“

“I went through a military history phase but I never did this.”

“Well it doesn’t matter anyway ‘cause the Civil War ended 150 or more years ago so why do you care?”

{Oh yeah… they don’t even know about slavery… not really. They don’t even know about black people being treated like… animals… well at least with real animals slave owners cared if they died…}

“Well what if I told you slaves’ treatment is similar to monsters’ treatment by humans? They segregated them here in the Underground and put up the barrier ‘cause they thought they were a threat. And hell humans attacked first!”

Chara retorts, “Well I’m still annoyed it took them so damn long to make better guns… And besides: I’ll learn about that soon enough will I? By watching this?”

“Yeah. You’re right. Even so don’t be surprised if we stop a lot… ‘cause… more complicated stuff you wouldn’t have known without living in the U.S. for a long time…”

Chapter Text

11

“Waaake uuuuuup! It’s, like, 1:00 P.M already!”

“Sooo?” I turn over so I face the wall, trying to block out Chara.

“But, like, we actually have stuff to do today!”

“Yeah so?”

The blanket unravels from around me and falls onto the floor. “Seriously man you actually have something important to do and you just wanna fuckin’ sleep?!”

“You know I consciously choose to do this can you please stop annoying me about it?”

“The sooner you get up the sooner you can get the research done so the sooner you can fuck around…”

“Since when did you start swearing?”

“When did you start swearing?”

“That’s not even—“

{Holy shit Chara just--}

Several objects hit me in the face from my new position sitting up on the edge of the bed, and I soon figure out they’re clothes. “How much clothes did Toriel give me?”

“Enough so you only have to wash them every two weeks but can still wear something new every day. Outside and here.”

“Nice! Where should we put my old clothes?”

“You can still use them later. There’s lots of empty pockets on the back half of your bag. I’ll put them in the one to the right of the clean clothes pouch.”

“Thanks. But shouldn’t I eat first before changing?”

“Like, Grillby’s, Robin’s Nice Cream, and the Snowdin shop are the only food places. And you could have the food delivered here if you really wanted—“

“But that costs money—“

“That you don’t have to pay out ‘cause the innkeeper is basically letting you live here till you get things figured out. It’s like bringing snacks to your room from the kitchen if you were at home—“

“No it’s not I’m asking her to bring it here. I’d get the food myself if I was at home.”

“Suit yourself. We’ll be sitting around in the librarby all day later anyway so—“

“Did you just say ‘librarby’?”

“Yeah why?”

“You know it’s supposed to be ‘library’—“

“I know. Everyone knows. The sign is misspelled. Sheesh. Just change so we can go to Grillby’s…”

*A few minutes later…*

‘You really like bacon?’

“Yeah…”

“Don’t worry. Many monsters do. Because it tastes good. Because they don’t have to worry about its, negative health effects. And because the human Internet loves it…’

“Truuuue…”

‘And besides: this costs forty gold. You still have some left. Robin said you can start working in two days. I can track what you eat and charge you then.’

“I have a way to earn gold. I can pay you. Just… later today or tomorrow, not now…”

{Whoaaa!}

[What you thought Grillby couldn’t laugh?]

{No I just--}

[Thought since he can’t? Doesn’t? speak, he wouldn’t laugh?]

{Yeah…}

‘Of course. And what would you like to drink?’

“What do you have?”

‘Most human drinks.’

Before I can refuse, I answer “Cherry coke.”

[Gneh heh heh!]

{Seriously…?}

[Come on even you can appreciate this. You rarely have soda in your house…]

‘And would you like me to pack some for you for when you are in your room or outside? Thermoses are easy to come by. They’re free actually.’

“Sure. But how will it stay cold? Besides it being cold here?”

‘Insulation. And magic.’

“Okay…”

‘Where will you be going after this?’

“The library. ‘Cause I need to learn about how magic works.”

Grillby laughs again. ‘I heard Papyrus yesterday. It’s good you’re being cautious since his fights are, wild. People come by this place for refreshments though, so I can’t complain. Should I split your order so you can have some while you’re there?’

“Sure.”

‘If I don’t bring the food in five minutes or less it’s free.’

“Okay.”

“Oh my Goood this is soooo good!”

[Yeah Grillby’s awesome… him and Toriel should team up.]

“Truuue… bacon on butterscotch cinnamon pie—“

[What the--]

{Look they had… have… bacon-flavored ice cream and toothpaste on the surface… and where I live...—}

[Lived.]

{Lived… this isn’t that weird.}

[Okay…] Chara sounds very disconcerted about the, numerous… applications for bacon…

After eating and packing my dinner, I ask Grillby, “Where’s the library?”

‘Walk toward the shop, but turn left at the first path you find. It’s the only branching path that way. The library is on the left.’

“Thanks.”

‘If you get lost, walk until you find a building. I’m sure any monster there can help you find it.’

“I owe you guys soooo much…”

‘Not at all. It is unfortunate Asgore must take your soul. Because us townspeople could modify this place for you if we had the time.’

“Oh yeah…”

Grillby pats my shoulder. ‘I’ll watch you from the front door to make sure you’re headed the right way. Good luck.’

“Thanks.” I stand from my seat and walk the couple feet to the door. I open it and orient myself so the street is on my right, unfolding my cane as I do so. “See you later Grillby,” I call behind me.

Start the video at 2:43, and end after about thirty seconds, or until you get the idea of what he sounds like.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-POe4Iz6fUI&t=171s#t=02m43s

After a few minutes of walking, I find the library, but before I can open the door, a monster does so for me. “Come in,” they say. “You must be the human Papyrus was talking… ranting… about… last night!”

“Yeah…”

“I’m the librarian, the name’s Dewey.”

“Like Dewey Decimal system Dewey?”

“Of course! He was the reason I could organize the books in here at all! Before I found out about him they were all stacked on one table. Now we have them all laid out nicelike.”

I enter the library, my cane bumping against… something… “That’s a shelf. Our newest books are there. What are you looking for?”

“I need to know how magic works.”

“Well you can’t know that without knowing monster anthropology and history.”

Dewey laughs. “Well it’s not anthropology down here isn’t it? Because that’s the study of humans. No one’s found a suitable substitute so it can refer to monsters.”

“Oh yeah… I keep forgetting…”

“It’s okay. You’re from another culture. You’re just seeing this how you were taught to see it. And who knows? You’re an outsider, so you could probably find some things we take for granted.”

Dewey takes my shoulder. “I got a few reports written by our oldest class of monster children. I can read them to you after we find a seat.”

“Wait the kids write the library books?”

“Monsters don’t have publishing companies. Just… mechanical publishing equipment. We don’t have much formal scholarship either,” Dewey explains as he pushes out a chair for me. “I have a monster history book, cultural anthropology book, and psychophysiology book—“

“Wait whaaaat?!”

“Psychophysiology. It’s the relationship between psychological states and their impact on a monster’s, or even human’s, physiological state. You feel certain things when you experience certain emotions don’t you? When you’re angry your heart rate increases. And when you’re excited you feel the same way, but it’s your experiences which differentiate the two. It’s like that.”

“Yeah… truuuue…”

“Well I’m gonna read you part of the book which explains this. I know these books by heart, so I’m just reading the most important parts aloud. This section is a comparison of monster and human biology, and how they each shape daily life differently.

“While monsters are mostly made of magic, human beings are mostly made of water. Humans, with their physical forms, are far stronger than us. Sure, they process food to make energy much less efficiently than we do, but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that no matter how they feel, if they have the physical strength to do something, they can. And if they want to do it, if they have to do it, they will find a way to. The next chapter goes into greater detail about the impact monsters’ emotions have on their magical strength, and, in the process, their way of interacting with the physical world.

“Despite these advantages, they will never know the joy of expressing themselves through magic. Their cells, and their muscles, and their bones, restrict them. They can’t light fire with just a gesture. They need a lighter and matches, at least. They can’t heal wounds instantaneously. If it takes months to fix a broken leg then why use them at all? Wait; they can’t fly without assistance either so they can’t even get away with not using their legs.

“Humans are really missing out. I say it doesn’t matter they can run marathons. They’ll never get a bullet-pattern birthday card... or create snow sculptures of their loved ones in seconds… Can I just say that monsters’ lives are better than humans or do I have to cite my sources again?”

“Well,” Dewey finishes reading the chapter… section… I’m not even sure… “what do you think?”

“This is how the library books are like? I thought adult monsters would write these up.”

“Well, the adult monsters look at them. They let the kids say almost anything they want. And besides: these books are for the younger ones. The older students read to them. So writing like this gets to them better.”

“I… oh yeah… you don’t really have college professors riting about this stuff don’t you…?”

“And to be honest,” Dewey flips through the book, “I prefer it that way. Why have some old monsters write these books when by the time they’ve finished learning everything more stuff has been discovered? They’d spend years and years of their lives in school, just to write as a footnote in a book, ‘Since this book’s publication it has been discovered that humans can, in fact, heal themselves at a comparable rate to magic; read my next book to find out how, even though it’ll take ten years for it to come out…’”

“I mean like, it’s not thaaat bad… I think… but still… yeah… truuue…”

[College life stuff I won’t understand?]

{Even I don’t fully get it. I was only in school for a week? Two? I don’t know how it works either.}

“I opened the book to the section on emotions’ effects on the monster soul, the chapter is called ‘Monsters’ Comprehensive Physiological Response to Emotional Stimuli.’ Should I start reading it?”

“Wait this was written by kids?”

“Of course!” Dewey laughs. “Kids with a dictionary next to them, but still kids. We fact-checked these books with Alphys and Sans, so what you’re hearing is pretty accurate, if not a little… not as professional as it first sounds. Ready?”

“yeah.”

“This part is a little technical. It discusses human physiology. And I don’t know if you ever studied it.”

“I did. Up until a few months ago actually.”

“In high school?”

“yeah.”

“Okay. But if you need me to explain anything, I can. I have a printed copy of a recent human college physiology book here so, don’t hesitate to ask.

Because they are made of magic, monsters’ bodies are attuned to their SOUL. Akin to the amigdala’s role in human emotional stimulus and processing, monster souls are the origin of their emotions. Magic ebbs and flows according to the user’s state of mind. Strong, positive emotions, like love or passion, generate the most powerful and controlled outbursts of magic.

“However, in monster-human confrontations, monsters’ fear or panic may interfere with their ability to focus their magic. If they manage to reign in their emotions, they have a chance of surviving or running away.

“But most monsters lack this kind of self-control. Negative emotions create similar effects as they do in humans. When humans feel stress or fear, their endocrine systems release hormones which reallocate their bodies’ use of energy, and flow of blood through them. They enter a state called ‘fight or flight’, although ‘flight’ is inaccurate, seeing as they can’t actually fly…

“In any event, monsters enter a similar state of fight or flight when threatened. But unlike humans they lack subconscious systems to help calm them down. If put in human terms, monsters have a sympathetic nervous system… well… sympathetic magical system. But they don’t have a parasympathetic magical system to decrease magical output, when a threat has passed or on command. A monster must consciously suppress their emotions to begin redirecting their magic so it can be used effectively.

“If a monster doesn’t want to fight, its defenses will weaken. Its magic will become diffuse. The magic composing their being, surrounding their soul, will become less substantial, more siceptible to wearing away. If enough of it has worn away, the monster’s soul is exposed, and only immediate escape from the confrontation can aide in their magic regenerating.

“What is worse is the overwhelmingly magical nature of monsters makes them inherently empathetic. Their beings do not end where their physical forms end. Their consciousness, originating from their soul, and their sensory capabilities, also exist in a cloud or bubble around them. Their consciousness does not completely fade until several feet away from their bodies, but their sensory capabilities, initiated by magic, can extend much farther. Anything in their line of sight, or field of knowing, can be influenced by their magic. Even if a monster can’t see something, if they know it’s there, they can affect it.

“This empathy inevitably makes it immensely difficult for monsters to exist near humans. They are guaranteed to come in contact with humans’ emotions, and become weaker because of it, with the only way to remedy any negative impacts on their magic is to minimize, if not completely cut off, any contact.

“So the crueler the intentions of our enemies, the more their attacks will hurt us, because the crueler their intentions, the more negative emotions we feel. And the more negative emotions we feel, the weaker we become. And the weaker our magic becomes, the less able we are to fight back and protect our souls. Any human is capable of exhibiting such cruelty. Their survival instincts are naturally selected for. Us monsters never had that kind of… weeding out.

“Therefore, if a being with a powerful SOUL struck with the desire to kill...

“Um, let’s end the chapter here...”

I hear a clunking sound as Dewey puts down the book and lets out a breath. “Well, now you know why us monsters were unable to fight the humans. Their emotions alone lowered our morale so much we couldn’t fight if we tried. It wouldn’t matter if they couldn’t heal their wounds in a second. As long as they were conscious they could feel a desire to defeat us. And that would be enough.”

[…]

{What’s wrong Chara?}

[Nothing.]

{It doesn’t sound like nothing…}

[Just… there’s more to this story. Ask him about what monster souls are made of.]

{Whyyyyy?}

[Because it matters. A lot. Because it has to do with determination. And why humans have it.]

{Okay… but why can’t I just ask about--}

[No.]

Chara sounds… stern. [Don’t ask about determination. Just don’t.]

{… Why? Is it taboo?}

[No. It’s… worse…]

“Dewey? You keep talking about monster souls. But what are they made of? Is that even a fair question?”

“Of course I should cover that. But it’s only speculation. The scientific evidence supporting it is… tentative… at most. It’s in a different book. Should I read the most important bits?”

“Including the part about wanting to end a chapter if what’s in it is too dark?”

“Yeah,” Dewey chuckles. “That was literally in the book. Let me just find the right chapter… this is a relatively new book so I don’t know it by heart yet…

“Love, hope, compassion... this is what people say monster SOULs are made of. After all if they weren’t their magic would manifest like things out of horror films all the time and no one could stop them, even if they tried…

{Nice…}

[Yeah. Some of the kids here reeeeally like human horror films… I still don’t know why…]

“But the truth is is that the absolute nature of monster souls is unknown. They cannot be studied as they disapate soon after death in all except the rarest of cases. All we can go on are testimonials of monsters in poor health or close to death.

“In light of our lack of evidence, we cannot even begin speculating on the absolute nature of the human soul. Although it has been theorized that humans’ souls don’t need these things to exist, we cannot investigate the details as the only six human souls we have are currently being held by King Asgore, and he forbids them being available to the public for study.

“One rumor circulating around the Underground over the past several years, however, may offer a glimpse into how the human soul operates. Unlike monsters, humans’ actions are mediated by the brain. Monsters don’t have one, only a soul. It is often stated by human scientists how the brain regulates humans’ bodily functions and directs their actions. Maybe… humans’ brains are the reason they are stronger than us. After all, the brain sure seems similar to a monster’s soul. They do the same things, after all.”

“You guys doing okay? Dewey loooooves talking to people about soulology. He thinks that every monster who walks in here could have the answers he’s, well, we’re, all looking for. You could say he’s looking for, chicken soup for the soul…”

“Holy shiiit!”

Sans lays an arm… his humorous, ulna, and radius? Across my shoulders. “Come on don’t act like you’re not confused… You may not feel like it, or think you look like it, but you look, like, really zoned out right now. Come on DD, give her a break. You’ve read, what? One?”

“Three,” the librarian corrects.

“Three,” Sans corrects himself, “about how magic works. I think Pauline should talk this over with us. Over lunch—“

“I already ate lunch. I ate at Grillby’s just before I came here.”

“Over dinner.”

“It’s half past three,” Dewey points out. “My watch says so.”

“Well think of it like a snack. After all, you need some brain food.”

“Ugh…”

“Heya I didn’t mean it to be a pun this time… I’m not thaaat similar to Emile yet…”

“Truuuue… Papyrus is getting there though…”

My bag appears on my lap. “Get out some food. We can talk about all this, and your fight with Paps, at the same time. That, and well... have you ever been around anyone using magic before?”

“Yeah when Toriel would use fire magic to light a fire in her house. And forge the slate and stylus.”

“Good. But that’s not the only kind of magic around here. Or rather, that’s not the only manifestation of magic around here. It’s good you stopped reading where you did DD,” Sans turns away a little, presumably speaking to Dewey, “’cause it’s about time I help by leading her through some, hands-on, learning.”

Chapter Text

12

“So, like, what you know affects your attacks?” I ask Sans as he eats the other half of my bacon sandwich. Dewey’s left for the moment. “To tell everyone you appreciate the books!” he sounds like he’s beaming. “That and I want some of that bacon. So I’m off to Grillby’s.”

“Yeh. A monster’s, ‘field of knowing,’ is the area their consciousness covers. The stronger the monster, the larger the area. And the more passionate the monster, same thing.”

I reiterate slowly, “So Papyrus will be really strong then since he reeeeeally waaaants to capture me…”

“Yeh. The only thing you can do is survive until he sees you really don’t wanna fight. Or get hurt.”

[Man I wish you knew how happy Sans is right now.]

{Why?}

Sans laughs. “Oh man,” he’s, excited. “If only you knew what he’s been doing since you last talked. He’s cleaned the house! And made extra spaghetti. And modified the decorations. And moved all my stuff so you don’t trip over it. Even the stuff on shelves!”

“Modified?”

“You’ll have to see for yourself.” He sounds, sly, all of a sudden. “But yuh get it right? What he’s gonna be like?”

“Think so.”

“Just one more thing: a monster’s consciousness is in a slightly rounded field around them and above them. But if they wanted they could change that. No point on focusing on what’s behind you when what you’re doing is in front.”

“Like how humans don’t actually multitask they just switch between things really fast.”

“Kinda. More like it confirms that multitasking doesn’t exist.”

“So whatever Papyrus looks at, he’ll be focusing on.”

“Exactly. Most of the time a monster’s field of knowing isn’t much larger than their field of vision. So you should be fine.”

Sans pats my shoulder. “You’ll do great. You came here to look for information. That’ll pay off in spades.”

He stands from the table. “Later tonight I’ll be seeing Alphys. She wants me to consult her about the BrailleNote.”

“Where does she live?”

“Hotland. It’s… a little far from here but… distance doesn’t mean much around here. Dewey didn’t tell you about the rest of the Underground?”

“No… I just told him to read the psychophysiology book…”

“Ehh. You have time. I’ll tell him to find something short to read you tomorrow.”

“So you dropped the BrailleNote off already?”

“Yep. Woke up before noon to do it too.”

“Dude I, like, woke up at 1:00, so… you woke up before me.”

[Someone lazier than Sans? It’s a miracle!]

{Shut! Up!}

“Anyway: Alphys took a look at the BrailleNote and is reeeeally interested in how it works. So she’s researching the components right now. She thinks she can make a battery compatible with our current technology so she can just use what we already have.”

“But you guys have electricity don’t you? Alphys made me that iPhone charger.”

“We consume magical energy, generated using geothermal power. The Core, deep below Hotland, is how we get our power. So when you plug your phone into the wall you’re technically charging it using magic. Magic has, amorphous properties, so for small stuff magic and be substituted for electricity, if sent through the correct medium.

“Sweet!”

“Anyway, I’m goin’ to Grillby’s. Wanna come with? It’s like, dinner time.”

“Wait hold up you go from sounding like a science textbook to… that?”

“Well I didn’t wanna give you a shortened answer. ‘Cause you have a right to know. We all know it.” Rather than sounding casual, Sans now seems… blunt. Genuinely open and honest.

“And,” he slows down a bit, “since you’re gonna be down here a while you oughta know what we know.”

“Truuuue… But it’s only 4:30—“

“More like five.”

He laughs. “Who’s suffering from mood whiplash now?”

“Wait…”

“Let’s just say learning about the resets led me to some... interesting human web sites. TV Tropes was my main source of info about humans for a good long while. So yeh. I’m genre savvy.”

“Yeeees!”

[Just one yeeees?]

“And even if you’re not hungry yet you’ll wanna meet the editors of Undermail.”

“Undermail?”

“The Underground’s newspaper. I bet they’ll post past issues online so you can read them if Dewey yelled at them about it enough.”

I laugh. “Yeah… he’s hella smart!”

Sans brushes my arm with his, signaling for me to hold onto his elbow. “I can walk there myself Grillby gave good directions.”

“You sure? There’s more snow out. You might get lost and turn into a, cold case, if you don’t use sighted guide.”

{[Whauw whauw whaaaaauw…]}

“I can hear you walking I’ll be fine,” I reassure him as we walk out the door and down the sidewalk. “And really man?! You make a murder joke before I fight Papyrus!? Too soon!”

“But it hasn’t happened yet.” Sans’ voice comes from a foot or so to the right of me.

“Like it’s still, too soon.” I trail off, unable to phrase it differently. I turn right, following the smell of…

“Baaaacooooon!”

[Wow I never thought I’d hear Sans laugh so hard… and I’ve heard him laugh hard a loooot.]

{What!? I’m hungry!}

[Yeah I can tell. Sans, like, mooched off you… even though he could’ve gotten his own bacon from Grillby. RIP.]

“Thanks Reed. You too Wrighte.”

“Whooo…?”

“The Undermail journalist and editor,” Sans explains as he guides me first through the door, then my hand to his elbow and extends his arm out behind him so I am walking behind him. “It’s narrow. Thought it’d be better if I went in front.”

“That’s actually what you’re supposed to do,” I observe as I sit down at the chair Sans pulls out for me. “The person giving sighted guide, puts… extends… their arm behind them so the person using it can walk behind them to avoid obstacles. And if anything happens,”

[Just say it…]

“Yeah… the sighted guide will get hit by a car first.”

“Whauw whauw whaaaauw.”

[Saaaans diiiid the thiiiing!]

{Yep!}

“Hey Reed. Wrighte. Get over here,” Sans calls out, pulling out two more chairs. “Pauline they’re sitting across from you.”

“Hi.”

“Hey!” one of them greets me, “I’m Wrighte! The best word search creator in the Underground!”

I groan, “Oh God… Sans did you have them help you with the damn word search outside yesterday?”

“Yeh...”

“Too lazy to make it yourself?” Reed? asks.

“Yeh…”

“Ehh.”

“Dewey told us about you while you were talking to Sans,” Reed explains. “He wants us to read the best issues of Undermail to you before we figure out how to, digitize,” they say this slowly… like what Toriel did when I told her about the voiceover on my phone, “them for you. We’ll need Alphys to print something but it should be easy. We just need something to turn the print paper into brailled paper.“

“Like, you can either have Alphys make or use a scanner you already have to turn the newspaper into a file I can read digitally. But I’ll need something to read that file on. A scanner could be compatible with my phone.”

“Or the BrailleNote. Well the file from the scanner anyway,” Sans adds.

“Yeah. Or you can just type them up and give that file to me. Or Alphys could make an embosser, which is like a printer, but it brailles files. I’d have you email the files to me, but…”

“But what?” Reed and Wrighte ask in unison.

“I don’t know if my email works here…”

“We can always post them as text on the Undernet. We know you have a smartphone, so that should work for now,” Wrighte cheerfully reassures me, “at least until we ask Alphys to make the—“

The door crashes open… and shut… “It is I! The Grrrrreeeeeat Papyrrrrrus!”

{must… not… laugh…}

{[Shit…]}

“What’s so funny?” Reed whispers. They sound closer, so they’ve likely leaned toward me across the table.

“He sounds like…”

[They know about Spanish you know. Some monsters are bilingual…]

{I didn’t assume--}

[Oh yeah? You just did…]

{*Sigh…* Fine.}

“He sounds like he has a… Spanish? Mexican? Accent… a little.” I whisper back.

[What you don’t wanna compare him to the most interesting man in the world?]

{How the fuck--}

[Your memories…?]

The Undermail staff and Sans start giggling as well… at least until Papyrus stomps over to our table, slams a chair down on the side of the table closest to me, and begins, “Human! I cannot believe you would rather spend your time here with my brother instead of me! All he’s done over the past several days is watch YouTube videos!”

“Hey! If I had my laptop here I’d do that every day too!” I retort.

[That’s not helping…]

{Well it’s true!}

Papyrus roars, “You have somehow made my brother even lazier! You and Fiora! You, Fiora and—“

“Hey,” Sans brushes my arm as he leans across the table and in front of me. “No spoilers in public remember? We went over this. We don’t wanna make everyone send hate mail to Undermail if anyone else decides to watch Emile’s LP. Like what happened to Markiplier’s Let’s Play for—“

“Fine then.” Papyrus agrees, loudly and grudgingly.

{What happened? What did he spoil?}

[…]

{Chara? What did he spoil?}

[… It’s a… long story…]

{That you’ll end up telling me when we have the time?}

They hesitate for a moment, uncertainty and… anxiousness… washing off of them. [… Nah…]

“Anyway,” Papyrus continues, unusually quiet. “I, the Grrrreeeat Papyrrrrus, could not help but observe that you were cooped up inside all day today.”

Yeah… why’d you ask?”

[What? You don’t wanna tell him you were labbing magic?]

{… Yeah... I think…}

[Papyrus already knows this stuff. It’s not like you were digging around for secret stuff.]

{… We’ll see.}

Papyrus takes a breath—

{Wait how did he breathe he doesn’t have to—}

“I asked, because… well…”

{He never stutters like that.}

[Yeah true.]

“Allow me to tell you about some complex feelings.”

“Suuuuure…?”

{Why is Papyrus all… seriouslike?}

He begins slowly, “I’ve begun feeling… feelings like, the joy of finding another pasta-lover. The admiration for another’s puzzle-solving skills and gaming expertise—“

“Like, I know only stuff about RPGs and that’s it,” I hurry to amend. “Like I know about other genres… mostly horror games… but I can’t play them.”

“I have also begun feeling feelings like The desire for a cool, smart person to think you are cool.”

“Duuuude… that happened to me aaall the tiiiime in school…” I affirm.

“These feelings...” Papyrus continues.

“Yeah?” I prompt him.

“Must be what you are feeling right now!”

{What the fuck!?}

“What the f—“

“I can hardly imagine what it must be like to feel that way!” Papyrus returns to his… shouting…? Self, and barrels over my attempt to speak. “After all, I am very great! I don’t ever wonder what having lots of friends is like!”

“Well you’re talking about it so you probably do wonder about it…” I try pointing out.

{Insecure much?}

[Oh not at aaall!]

“Nonsense! I pity you… lonely human…” Papyrus interrupts me. “But worry no longer! I, the Grrrrreeeat Papyrrrrus, will be your…”

He uncharacteristically trails off.

{Friend? Is it--?}

“No.” Papyrus suddenly says decisively.

“No what?”

“No!” he shouts again. “This is all wrong! I can’t be your friend!”

“What?”

“You are a human!” he… seems… to justify. “I must—“

“Oh heeeeell noooo you aren’t capturing me!” I argue back, but to no avail.

“Now, I can fulfill my lifelong dream!”

{Oh God why is Papyrus… happy?}

[‘Cause capturing a human is like, his lifelong dream…]

{Okay…? That’s not obvious--}

[And scary.]

{And scary!}

{[At all!]}

“POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS! I, THE GRRRRRREEEEAT PAPYRRRRRUS, WILL SOON BECOME AAAAALL OF THEEEEESE THIIIIINGS!”

He stops abruptly. “That,” he says more quietly and firmly, “and the newest member of the Royal Guard.”

I reply, “Fuck you! You’re fucking crazy! How the hell am I supposed to fight back? I’m not even armed! You’re attacking a fucking blind person you fucking asshole! For your own benefit! If this is what you wanna do, and if you’re who Asgore wants in the Royal Guard, then fuck him too!”

[Wow…]

{He hasn’t censored himself in front of me so why should I?}

Chara’s voice goes deadpan. [You. Didn’t. Just. Say that. About Asgore.]

{Well it’s true! If he’s training fucking attack dogs to attack me and wants… crazy people--}

[And narcissists--]

{Them too!}

“Everyone knows now you’re a huuuuge dick!”

[But Papyrus--]

{Shut up!}

“OH?!?” Papyrus challenges.

I feel someone’s hand on my wrist… and my feet leave the floor… and my knees bang the side of the table…

Someone grabbed me… and is holding me in the air…

Wait.

“Heeeeeey!”

“If you wish to prove your worth to me, fight me then!” he shouts in my face.

“Now!?” Sans gasps. “Paps! She hasn’t eaten! We were gonna—“

“Silence Sans! You will never know the pleasure of capturing a human! You are too lazy to eeeever achieved what I will achieve!”

“But she’s right: she’s unarmed. So how can she even defend herself?” Sans tries to confront Papyrus… or at least it sounds like it because his voice is coming from right below me.

Papyrus begins walking… and I hear the sounds of scraping chairs… lots of them…

{Seriously they’re gonna watch me get bodied!?}

[Bodied?]

{Beat up!? Badly!}

[Yeah, they are… to be honest I would too…]

{CHAAAAAARAAAAA!}

[What it’s true!]

“The door to Grillby’s bangs open and then shut, Papyrus still holding onto me. “We will settle this outside!”

“What the fuck—“ I begin to ask.

“It’s not far from Grillby’s.” Sans’ voice sounds… pretty quiet from where I am. “There’s a space cleared off for the monsters to use for stuff in the middle of town.”

{At least Sans will be watching.}

[Yeah. You have noooo idea of how relieved I am about that. He can stop Paps if he gets out of hand.]

{But Papyrus just ignored him! Sans got walked over--!}

[When push comes to shove… well when push comes to getting fucking recked, Sans’ll cover you. Trust me. He can handle himself.]

As Sans finishes speaking, Papyrus drops me, where I fall to my knees. I carefully stand back up again, thankful Toriel modified my shoes to be multi-weather. I hear Papyrus walking away. After another second of walking, is footfalls stop, and I am launched in the air, but higher than normal.

Another fight.

{Where the fuck--}

[Like, twenty? Okay more like thirty? Feet off the ground. Papyrus is… about fifteen feet away from you. Well fifteen feet away from your spot on the ground if you had stayed—]

Chara stops, the sound of… bullets? Something? Filling the air below me. “What the—“

[Bones.]

{Booooones??}

[Yeah… well bullets shaped like bones. They’re about ten feet below your feet. They’re flying around below you. You might wanna move higher. Give yourself some space.]

{How?}

[Like… jumping, but not really by moving your legs like you’re gonna jump? Shrugging your shoulders upward? Lifting your arms up? Moving your body like… you’re trying to move up.]

{That’s helpful--}

[Look I never had to think about it I just did it!]

I imagine myself lifting into the air, and the cold wind rushes by my skin. “Holy shit that was fast!”

[Yeah. You’re, like, sixty feet in the air now… but the bones are still ten feet below your feet. Papyrus is directing them with his hands.]

I motion my body as if to back away, but the clacking of bones follow me, still below my feet. “Crap.”

“YOOOOOUUU THINK YOU CAN EVADE ME!?!?” PAPYRUS YELLS.

[He’s walked so he’s… less then ten feet from where you would have been if you stayed on the ground.]

{But how can I still hear him?}

[Magic does that remember?]

{Noooo…?}

[His voice covers his field of knowing. Monsters don’t really speak their consciousness just projects manifestations of their soul. And he’s strong magically. So yeah… he shouts all the time for a reason…]

“Well the bones haven’t moved—“ I begin to shout back.

[Nooooo!]

{What do you mean no!?}

[Don’t say it!]

{Say what!? It’s true the bones haven’t really moved at all!}

“—any closer!”

Chara groans. [Oh nooooo you went and did it now… please Papyrus by Alvis don’t do it…!]

{Do what!?}

“Oooooh yeeeeah?! Let’s see if you can handle my fabled blue attack!"

The sound of bones crashing together… doesn’t move any closer, but it is louder now… and coming from above me too… from what sounds like a larger vertical distance… above my head.

There are now two sets of bones, one above me, the other below me.

Loop until the end of the chapter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64cvrwzrmhU

[Oh thank Alvis they’re just blue bones—]

{Bluuuue?}

[Blue-colored bullets are avoided by not moving.] Chara explains. [Normally you would have first seen… felt… them if you fought Doggo but... he didn’t notice us. That and we walked far away from him. I knew you didn’t like dogs so I directed you to take a different route.]

{So I just don’t move and I’ll be fine?}

[Yeah!] Chara… doesn’t sound like themselves. [Papyrus is just testing you!]

They sound like they’re… reassuring themselves…

That… never happens.

[He’s seeing if you panic and move or not. He’s fighting you, but not in the most--]

Chara stops dead.

[Dangerous way possible.] they feebly finish, after a couple seconds of silence except for the moving bones.

{Chaaaaaraaaa…? What happened?}

Before Chara can answer, Papyrus yells louder, deafening even over the sounds of the two groups of bones.

YOOOOOOUUUUUUU’RRRRREEE BLUUUUUE NOOOOW! THAAAAAT’S MY AAATAAAACK! GNEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!”

“{That doesn’t sound evil…}” I can’t help but notice… and snark.

“Blue?” I repeat. “So I can’t move?” I try moving my arms and legs, but find that I can’t lift either of them. After trying to lift up my arms a little from my sides, my shoulders slump back down, forcefully and painfully.

I then try curling into a ball, tucking my head against the front of my bag and my knees close to my torso, but my legs force themselves back to an unbent, vertical position. My entire body feels…

Heavy.

{Chaaaaraaaa?! Why do I feel--}

“{[AAAAAAH FUUUUUUCK!]}”

Chapter Text

13

Loop until the next note.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64cvrwzrmhU

“{[AAAAAAH FUUUUUUCK!]}”

{Why are we--}

[Blue magic simulates manipulating gravity!]

{Only simulate?}

[What you think monsters can bend reality and make—screw it later!]

{But the hell? What—how--}

[Come on I know you know how real gravity works! It’s literally rocket science!]

{You… move faster in the opposite direction…?}

[You achieve escape velocity? Yeah. Juuuump!]

I jump, trying to distract myself from the fact that I’m jumping off of air… through air… instead of a flat, solid surface. My arms and legs pull upwards, as if I was jumping on the ground,and the group of bones below my feet become a little quieter—

[Fuck the other group of—there goes our health… it’s at fifteen. And no it’s not at three-fourths it’s half because sleeping in the inn made it go up to thirty.]

{I should sleep in—}

[Later! Eat something!]

I touch the front of my bag, chewing and swallowing the second monster candy as Papyrus pulls me downward toward the bones again. “I can almost taste my future popularity!” he shouts at me.

{So that’s what he wants?}

“Not by attacking a civilian you’re not!”

[Duuuude…?]

{What it’s true!}

◾[Jump agaaaaain!]

I oblige, Papyrus shouting after me, “Papyrus: head of the Royal Guard!”

[Noooo!]

{Whaaa—fuuuuck! Oooour heeeealth! Why is it thirteen! I thought—}

[Papyrus moved the second set of bones so we can’t jump up as far. And he moved the bones below us also. There’s about twenty-one, twenty, nineteen? Feet between them now. Not twenty-five or six.]

{Oh noooo… you don’t mean he’s just gonna…}

[Maybe… I hope not.]

”{[Aaaaaaaah!]}” Chara and I scream again as Papyrus sends us toward the ground. “ “Papyrus: unparalleled spagettore!” he proclaims.

“That isn’t even a—“

[Shut up! Do you really think that’ll help?!?]

{What it’s--}

[Spagettore is really a—nooo! Not… not again! Not like this! Anything but this!]

{You’re scared? Haven’t you seen Papyrus fight before?!}

[Yeah but--]

Chara stops. [Just… heal okay? You have all the Cinnamon Bunnies, two Monster Candy, and the pie. That should be…]

Chara stops again as Papyrus jerks on my body using magic another time. “Undyne will be very proud of me! King Dreemurr will trim a hedge in the shape of my smile!”

“You’re fucking crazy! You’re making someone proud by hurting me! If you want to make someone proud who thinks that the only thing you can do about me is to hurt me, then fuck Undyne too!”

[Oh nooo… you did it now…]

{What now!?}

“And Asgore hired Undyne so he can go fuck himself too!“

[Oh dear God if you could see Papyrus right now…]

{What!?}

“He has no right to be a king!”

Stop the Bonetrousle.

Loop until the next note.

https://materiacollective.bandcamp.com/track/cave-of-monsters

Suddenly, the sounds of the bones vanish as I drop like a stone. [We’re… seven? Eight? Feet aboveground now. Like, Papyrus could reach up and grab you himself if he really wanted. And before you ask yes he’s that tall. You’re just facing in the opposite direction from before. And papyrus is walking so he can face you.]

I hear crunching noises below me. Papyrus walking toward the spot directly below me… most likely. “Human,” he says in a… normal human volume range… “I can withstand my brother’s horrible puns. I can even tolerate his constant laziness, and his excuses to take naps at all times of the day—“

“Actually,” Sans calls out, “those naps at nighttime? That’s called sleeping—“

“Silence Sans!” Papyrus’ voice returns to its usual volume as he reprimands him and turns his head a little to one side, most likely toward Sans.

“What I propose,” he turns back to me, his voice lowering in pitch and losing any semblance of humor, “is this: you require assistance to help you get to the barrier. And I aim to become the head of the Royal Guard by capturing you.”

“So?”

“If you come willingly, then you will be under my protection. Undyne would not, no! Could not, Hurt you then!” he seems a little optimistic and more like his normal self again.

He turns his head a little to the side again. “I will even allow Sans to supervise, as he knows much more about visual repairmen than—“

“It’s visual impairment not visual repairmen!” I can’t help but correct. “If you don’t even know what my disability is how will I know you’ll even listen to what Sans—“

“I was about to explain that. I, the Great Papyrus, had the foresight to expect you would disagree. Because you are not nearly as intelligent as I. Because I have come up with an offer you can’t refuse!”

“Which is…??”

{This better be good…}

[Yeah…] If Chara could speak aloud, their voice would squeak and crack all at once in fright.

“If you apologize for defiling our king’s name and admit I have japed you, Sans and I will escort you to Undyne, where you can apologize to her yourself, with us there for protection! And where you can personally tell her I made this offer to you, so I will have control over your custody rather than her.”

“And who knows,” he begins to sound optimistic again, “if she entrusts me with the responsibility, I may also have an influence over what Asgore does with you. I can ensure that he takes your soul in a humane way.”

[I didn’t expect this. And frankly: Paps may be scaring the living crap out of me, but, I like this. He’s, serious and stuff now.]

{I wanna take it… I really do.}

[I mean, I might too… if I wasn’t armed. If I was… not so much.]

{Papyrus at least is letting Sans accompany me to make me feel better.}

[He acknowledges that Sans is your lifeline down here. Papyrus might not like Sans’ puns, but him taking care of you is making him less lazy. Mostly. Getting Sans to be less lazy is, like, his thing.]

{And he was doing that by telling Sans to help him capture humans… so me…}

[True…]

{He’s even… protecting me… from Undyne… and in the process, Asgore.}

[Paps has been training under Undyne for several years now. She’s known the Canine Unit for longer but she knows him best. She’d trust his judgment. I think.]

{He’s… stopped to talk to me…}

[Well he’s, not quite so hot-blooded as to challenge you--]

{But that’s what he’s doing right now!}

[Oh yeah… But He’s just doing what he’s been told to do: to fight and capture any humans who come down here. He’s just following orders.]

{And he’s come to his senses and realized how fucking horrible he—

{Wait he’s basically making me say he beat me! He’s making me surrender!}

[Yeah.]

{And he’s making me apologize to him! And undyne! And Asgore!}

[Truuuue…]

{Fuck no! Asgore hired Undyne and Papyrus wants to impress Undyne. So he’s under the king’s orders.]

{Oh yeah… I mean not exactly he’s still in training but… he’s basically a Royal Guardsman in everything but name…?]

{How do I know that Sans can actually do anything to help me if Papyrus brings me to Asgore?}

[… You don’t. We don’t. Normally I’d say that Sans could help you but… I’ve never seen someone insult Papyrus’ honor like this. And I wouldn’t be surprised if…]

Chara gulps… somehow. [I wouldn’t be surprised if Sans backs up his brother.]

{What if he just kills me? I can load but… if he takes my soul then… can I even come back from that?}

Chra squeaks in reply.

{No! I can’t! I… I’ll kill him! And if Undyne! Asgore! Whoever! Thinks I’m doing wrong I can say it was self-defense! Because he forced me to fight! I never asked for this!}

“If you wana fuck with me then why the fuck should I take your word!? Why the fuck should I care about what Undyne thinks? She probably wants to kill me the first chance she gets! If I was armed I’d kill you myself! And anyone watching couldn’t say it was murder because you forced me to fight. And—“

“Oh?!?” Papyrus’ voice becomes slightly louder… and somehow more… devious.

{Screw that he didn’t sound evil before . Now he does…}

[Yep!] Chara squeaks.

“Now,” Papyrus’ voice rises in volume… and becomes angrier with every word, “I have no choice but to use my special attack! Behold!”

A grinding sound behind me… and my body flying backward…

Toward the grinding sound…

{Why are we…?}

[Flying backward? …] Chara observes.

{[Oh no…]}

{Whaaa--}

[I never knew Papyrus could…]

{Could what!?}

[I never knew he could use magic to simulate gravity… besides up and down... also braaaaace yourseeeeelf!]

{Why?}

I gasp as my back slams into… something…

[Hooooly crap that’s a big bone…]

I can’t tell whether Chara seems impressed or terrified.

{What--}

[Your back is up against a reeeaaally tall bone… like it’s as tall as Papyrus and then a couple feet more--]

{Which is—}

[Like… nine… no ten… nine and a half feet? Of magic bone?]

{Oh I’m being held in the air—fuck! And pelted with bones while being magically bound to a fake bone! Thaaaaat’s sooo much better than if it was a reeeeal bone!}

[I… I didn’t know he’d… I’m sorry!]

{What??? Chara…? Are you…?}

They sniff. [Don’t worry about me. Just… say sorry to Papyrus! I’m sure he’ll--]

{No! Why should I apologize to him when all he’s done is--}

Chara sniffs some more. [Our health is at twelve. We should… eat things… but not whole things. That’s a waste…]

I eat a third Monster Candy and half a Cinnamon Bunny, so I reach twenty-eight health out of thirty, but Papyrus’ attacks soon reduce it back down to twenty again. [You should bought the Manly Bandana… it had seven defense instead of three! But noooo! You just had to—]

{Chaaaaaraaaa! Why the hell should I wear dead kids’ stuff! It’s—}

[Then why do you still have the Faded Ribbon on? Why didn’t you just leave it behind when I told you that the Tough Glove belonged to Ally?]

I take a sharp breath, temporarily… blocking out… the pain of Papyrus launching bones at me. {I… I… forgot…}

A laugh worse than Papyrus’. Even worse than Flowey’s.

[Oh you think you can tell me whaaat’s right and wrong can you? At least if you’re gonna act like a total do-gooder then do it all the damn time.]

Chara laughs again. [Well go on! Take it off! It belongs to a dead kid. So it should be respected. It doesn’t matter you’re going through your items faster! You’re preserving something that belonged to one of the idiots who came down here and didn’t take the time to look around and observe everything! And that’s what matters.]

I slowly raise a hand to my hair, brushing the Faded Ribbon with my index and middle fingers, about to pinch it between them and my thumb so I can pull it off and toss it away. Without it, every time Papyrus attacks me, I will take three more damage than before.

I have seven-and-a-half healing items left… technically more if I divide them up.

Energy drains from my body as I sense my HP dropping to nine out of thirty. Touching a hand to the front of my bag, I eat a Monster Candy and a Cinamon Bunny, gaining twenty-one HP in one sitting.

My bag…

“My bag! It has defense stats! At least I think so since Toriel said I can use it as armor. But how much?”

[Oh yeah. I don’t know how much though. She never said…]

{So… why have I been worrying about the Faded Ribbon! I don’t need it! I can just remove the back half of my bag and put it on in front of the first half.}

I unbuckle the back half of my bag from the main frame, readjusting it so it overlaps the front half. I move my phone so it is in the llarger, primary compartment of the front half of my bag, so it is closest to my body and farthest from Papyrus’ bones.

{Why didn’t you think about the bag’s defense stats?}

[I… forgot…] Chara answers sheepishly. [I… didn’t have the right to yell at you like that… I’m…]

{Apologize later.}

[Okay.]

I take off the Faded Ribbon and toss it in front of me, toward the clacking sounds of the bones, quick ripping noises following suit.

As I retract my arm back, I notice that my HP has fallen back down to ten. I reach for my last piece of Monster Candy and the other half of the Cinamon Bunny I started eating earlier…

[Whoa… he went and did it now…]

{Did what…?}

[You know what.]

{Where’s my bag?}

[The bones… they just cut through it. Both parts of it. I saw your phone and phone charger fall on the ground but they’re out of the way of the bones so--]

{But my money! My clothes! My school stuff that I brought down with me. Everything! That bag was--}

**Just make sure you hear enough of her voice to get a good idea of what Undyne sounds like.**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAhBWXp-sFc

“NGAHHH! Hey Papyrus! Hold up! I’ll finish the human off myself!”

Stop the music.

I crash to the ground into a heap. I slowly sit up, eventually managing to stand up again. {[Oh noooo…]}

“Papyrus! I commend you for detaining the human for this long. I was just about to come see you, about what you have been posting on the Undernet about a new training method, but,” Undyne’s voice becomes louder as she turns toward me. She was probably facing Papyrus before.

“It’s you.”

{Wow I never thought I’d ever hear someone hate me soooo much…}

[Same… and I’ve heard this before…]

{Before?}

[Nothing…]

Seven. Seven human souls, and King ASGORE will become a god. We have collected six thus far. Understand? Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed.”

“I know. It was one of the first things I was told when I fell.” I reply flatly.

{Just kill me already…}

[You can’t be serious!]

{At least I can take this time to save. Then, if I do die, I can reload and run away. And get the Manly Bandana and the Tough Glove.}

[So you’d steal to keep yourself alive? Even after how you reacted to the Faded Ribbon?]

{If she’s gonna kill me right now then it’s only fair I do what I can to stay alive after.}

[Double standards much…?]

{No it’s not! I can’t defend myself! And at least against Papyrus I had healing items. So now…}

[So you’d use that stuff even though they belonged to Ally?]

{I… … Yes.}

“No. "You know what?" She pauses. *Loop until the end of the chapter.* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kR54declpAA "NGAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! "SCREW IT! "YOU! "You're standing in the way of everybody's hopes and dreams! Alphys's history books made me think humans were cool... ...with their giant robots and flowery swordswomen. BUT YOU? You're just a coward!”

{Whaaat the fuck?}

[I’m… still confused… and this isn’t even the first time I’ve heard her say this…]

{What is she…? We don’t have giant robots or… flowery swordswomen… yet.}

[Sounds like anime--]

{I think it is too.}

[And I think you’re right…]

{Okay: so Papyrus’ boss has deluded herself into thinking anime is--}

[No! Not at all! I, if we weren’t here I could explain--]

{Like usual…}

[*Sigh…*]

I take a deep breath. “Look I… I’ve talked to some monsters. And I know how badly you all wwanna go back to the surface. But… you think killing someone who can’t even defend themselves is right? I’m not standing in the way of your hopes and dreams!“

“I won’t have any of your wimpy goody-two-shoes-shtick! Oooh! I'm making such a difference by hugging random—“ she interrupts.

“I haven’t hugged anyone! I got chased by three dogs on the way here!” I can’t help to shoot back.

[That’s not helping… the dogs are under her command after all…]

{Fuck that.}

“It would be more valuable to everyone if YOU WERE DEAD!!! Human, your continued existence is a crime! Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom!” Undyne rants.

“So I was right you do think killing me is more important than helping me get home!? Ends justify the means my fucking ass! Fuck you Kant!”

[Whoooo?]

{A… dead guy who said ends justify the means…?}

[A dead guy who would think killing one defenseless human is okay if it means saving lots of monsters?]

{I guess.}

[Oh… no wonder you’re pissed…]

“Enough!” Undyne roars, and in that moment, I am unsure of who I am more afraid of : Papyrus, who at least let me talk, or Undyne… who sounds like a stubborn anime protagonist… but with the power to back it up. Asgore hired her for a reason, after all.

“Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment! I will channel everyone’s desires into every attack! "I can’t lose! "Now, human! Let's end this, right here, right now. On behalf of my people, I'll show you how determined monsters can be! En Guarde!”

{Uh I don’t feel like I’m in an anime at all…!?}

[Same!]

{And I’m not even gonna complain about the English dub sucking really hard!}

[Same!]

{[Oh noooo…]}

{I saved earlier right?}

[Yeah when you sat down.]

{Run?}

[Ruuuuun!]

**Stop the music.**

Chapter Text

14

I lift my foot off the ground and try turning around, but my legs don’t move. {Is my soul--}

[No it’s not blue she’ll explain. She always does.]

My feet fly out from under me.

I’m… we’re… in another fight.

Against Undyne.

While I’m all out of healing items, wearing no armor, and at… ten health.

“As long as you're GREEN you CAN'T ESCAPE! Unless you learn to face danger head-on... You won't last a SECOND against ME!”

[I got this! I just have to help you visualize the shield then you can aaaaah! Noooo! Wait noooo you—we--can’t visualize the shield. Can’t we?]

{What?}

[I can’t make you visualize the shield since you don’t have functioning eyes for me to take control of…]

Chara and I are at five health…

{Oh yeah… since I can’t see, and I don’t know what my own body looks like, even if you know where the… bullets--}

[Spears--]

{Spears are, I can’t use the shield because I never had enough experience seeing…}

{[No no no no no noooo!]}

I tumble through the air, crashing to the ground, face-first. [Uh… Pauline?]

{Yeah?}

[Don’t sit up.]

{Why?}

“NGAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

“GNEEEEEEH!”

{Whaaaat?}

[You don’t wanna know…]

{Whyyy?}

[You wouldn’t believe me.]

{Whyyyy!?}

“Look. Undyne. I can’t say I condone what you did. The kid’s right: you attacked her when she couldn't protect herself. I still would've disagreed with this if she had armor on. But at least if she did she could've proven herself by dodging.”

Sans…? pauses. “And your green soul state's useless to her. She can’t see so she can’t shield herself. You failed to let her face danger head on. You led her to face death.”

{He ain't wrong...}

[Shhh!]

{Whaaaat!?!}

Crunching noises near my head. “And Paps? I… expected better of you.”

[I’ve… never, heard him so, disappointed.]

{Chara? Are you… crying?}

[Yeah. *Sniffle* This is… so unlike Sans to feel like this. Especially towards Paps. And it’s not like Paps to completely ignore what Sans says.]

They nervously laugh. [I mean don’t get me wrong he does sometimes: but not for stuff like this.]

“In the past you'd fight the humans till they were exhausted. But even then you wouldn’t really hurt them.” Sans sounds closer to me now.

As he pauses, Chara whispers, even though no one else can hear, [Oh my… his eyes…]

{But he’s a skeleton! He—}

[I mean, his eye sockets…]

Chara sounds… both awed and on the verge of… making me shit my pants. [They’d only glow like that when--]

{Glow like that…?] I repeat mentally.

[Yeah. When he decides to… show off his true power… his eyes—wait right? Left? If you’re facing him it’s his right eye…? glows a bright blue. So bright it’s almost too bright to look at. I bet if you were sitting up you’d be able to see it—wait!] Chara interrupts themselves. [It’s usually his left eye. But now…?]

{You said eyes before. So it’s both now and not just one?}

[Yeah…?]

“But now?” Sans continues, his voice still sounds like he’s about to tell a joke… a joke about murdering someone painfully, that is… “You’re actually trying to kill her. "And why? "Just ‘cause she’s not a ‘kid’? "She may be a human adult, but that doesn’t make her, invulnerable. I thought you’d know that better than anyone. She was scared of the Canine Unit of the Royal Guard, for Zan—for God’s sake! "And you helped her get away from them too. How could you forget about that?”

[He remembered to not spoil Xenoblade things for Paps, even now.] Chara points out, in the smallest voice I’ve ever heard from them.

“Sans! I—“ Papyrus tries to interject.

“No Paps.”

I cover my ears as a harsh, static-like noise appears… somewhere… near me.

[OH God—]

{Whaaat!?}

[Not one of thoooose…! Anything but oooone oooof thoooose!]

{What are thoooose!?!}

[I’ve only seen him use them in New Home. Not--]

It sounds like Papyrus and Undyne are talking at the same time, but I’m not sure. The… thing… is too loud.

“Look: I know you two can take a few of these to the dome. They only do fifty damage a piece right now. And your defenses are higher than anything down here human or monster-made could provide so it won’t really hurt you if you do.” Sans somehow makes himself heard over the sound of… the… thing…

The noise increases in pitch until I am forced to cover my ears a second time, only for it to decrease in pitch again. However, this lasts for only a few fractions of a second, because the noise goes up in pitch and volume a second time, rising to its first peak.

Then, the ground under me shakes a little, as the beginnings of Papyrus’, Undyne’s… and Chara’s… screams are drowned out by a completely different sound-- Sounds. Two completely different sounds at once. A roaring or crashing sound, harsher than all the previous sounds combined, and a somewhat higher-pitched humming layered on top.

No one speaks or moves for a few, tense seconds… or minutes…

I eventually assume Papyrus and Undyne have left. I turn over onto my back and sit up, only for my hands to slam into… something, a little above my current eye level, Chara screaming again as I do.

It’s smooth and somewhat round where I touch it…

It’s also at least as wide as I am. Okay maybe one-and-a-half times as wide as I am…

[Oh. He shot the laser through the ground in front of them. Good. Well except there’s a hole large enough you could crawl into it with room to spare but other than that you’re fine!] Chara sounds… a little more than just relieved.

{That was a laser?}

[Yeah… well a magical, laser-ish thingy?]

{Where’s--}

[Him and Undyne ran the fuuuuuck away… to only Monado knows where… well he damn well should have run the fuck away! Actually he should have run away sooner but…]

{Whyyyyyyyyyy?}

[It was Sans…]

In disbelief:

{No!}

[Told ya you wouldn’t believe me…]

{ What did he--}

[He used one here in front of all these people? [Daaaaamn! [This better go viral on the Undernet or else--]

Now Chara sounds, excited… and not just scared…

{Chaaaaraaa! What did Sans do!}

“You, uh, might feel like shitting your pants right now—“

"Ah fuuuuuuck!"

[Aaaaaah!]

Chara pauses as if taking a breath. [Aaaaaah!]

They do so again. [Oh God oh God oh God oh Gooood!]

When they pause again, I interject: {Shut up!}

“—and I don’t blame you. Just… as scary as the Gaster Blaster sounds, it’s the least of your problems. I mean, if you shit your pants, you’re gonna have to wash them… and I’d think washing your clothes isn’t the easiest… or one of your happier memories from back home.”

“{[Ugh…]}”

"{[Welk you went there...]}"

[I don’t know whether to make you run the fuck away or not 'cause it’s truuuue…]

{Yeah…}

Someone’s… Sans’… hand on my shoulder. “I… I had to do that. Nothin’ else would scare them away. Paps… he’s never met an adult human before so… I guess what he did was justified from his perspective.”

Sans takes a breath… pauses… “And as for Undyne… same. Same, but worse. And more complicated. "‘Cause yeah: it’s horrible she’s only fought kids. The things is she’s actually received tons of training to deal with human weapons. That’s why she’s the head of the Royal Guard.”

I stand there, running my hands along the… Gaster Blaster… as Sans continues talking. “I mean: I guess she thought that since those kids could dodge, a larger human could actually fight back.”

He laughs… and I’m not sure about whether it’s appropriate, let alone whether to laugh along or not. {It’s not funny… but not quite not funny either.}

[Yeah true… it’s, like one of those jokes that’s funny but horrible so you don’t know whether to laugh…]

“And to be honest: it makes sense. With her training that kind of mindset would apply. Except if you’re talkin’ ‘bout a human with a disability. I mean; I’d think it’d be obvious you couldn’t see when you didn’t look her in the face when she went all anime on you.”

“I gueeeeess…?”

“Look: if you wanna be left alone for a while to deal with this that’s fine." I don't reply. "I’ll have Grillby deliver food to your room. Your phone is safe so you can at least binge-watch something to get your mind off all that.”

[I think Sans grabbed your phone earlier so that’s how it’s safe.]

"{Thank Alvis!}"

[Amen!]

“And I have Tori’s number so I'll call her so she can bring you spare clothes.”

[Thank Alvis!]

"{Amen!}"

[Oh thank God Sans’ eyes aren’t creepy as hell anymore…]

“And,” Sans begins to sound, less, angry and more, typically serious. Brushing his elbow against my arm, I grab onto it as we walk a couple steps, “at least if you’re gonna be scared shitless, you might as well know what you were scared shitless by.”

“Okay…?”

[Nope nope nope nope Nope nope nope nope!]

{Chaaaaaraaa? Why?}

“Ehh, be careful though. They’re, not used to being touched…”

[Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope!]

{What are we touching?}

After a couple minutes of touching the Gaster Blaster… and jumping at every noise it makes, I ask, “Uh… this thing is a skull?”

“A skull that shoots lasers.”

“ooooonly lasers!?”

“What? You want a Gaster Blaster to be capable of shooting miniature Gaster Blasters which shoot lasers?”

[Nope nope nope nope Nope nope nope nope!]

“Uh… no…”

{[*Shudder…*]}

“Are they always this big?”

“Most of the time, the smallest one,”

Sans pauses. “Hmmm. The smallest one I’ve ever made was about… three-fourths, maybe half, the volume of this one. But I know their proportions so I could make one as small as I wanted.”

“How small?”

[For science!]

{Yep!}

“Hold your hands out.”

Sans places… something… in the palm of one of my hands. “That’s a Gaster Blaster about the size of… the two of your fists, thumbs enclosed, knuckles touching, like this—“

He quickly demonstrates with his own hands. “It’s somewhat more elongated than the one I used earlier but it has the same purpose.”

“How do you make the lasers come out?”

“It’s empathetic.”

“heh?”

“I can control them mentally if I visualize the lasers’ flight path well enough. But This one homes in on enemies. It’s not perfect. But it’s accurate down to a… three or four meter radius wherever you point it. It’s enough that you can aim it by ear and so its range covers the movement patterns of most monsters.”

“Whoa… but if a monster gets closer than that to me…?”

“If you can back away toward the nearest open space. And if you can’t it can alter its firing patterns.”

“But how do I make sure I… don’t kill someone?”

“Gaster Blasters’ sizes are usually proportional to their damage. This one adjusts to accommodate the enemy so it results in enough damage to force mercy, but no more. This HP threshold is reached when fired three times. And it conforms to this number automatically.”

“Whaaaat!?”

Sans laughs. “Yeah. I’m, real proud I came up with this so quickly.”

[He diiid this just now though!]

{What!? You said Sans is smart…}

[True but--]

But why only ‘nearly all monsters?’ Are some… really tanky?”

Sans sighs. “Well let’s just say if you need to fire the Gaster Blaster more than three times at a monster you’re screwed anyway. And, the only one I can think of who could place you in that situation now is Asgore.”

“Oh yeah…”

“If you really want to deal more damage it can. It will, hesitate first though. They’re used to me—“

“They’re?”

“Gaster Blasters are, kinda like… those voice-activated AIs on smartphones… except for creating lasers. Not ordering pizza.”

[Duuuude…] Chara bursts out laughing.

{I know right?}

“And since it’s a magical construct bound to you you can’t lose it or have it stolen from you. And it won’t get damaged like your phone can. And if something does end up happening to it somehow my consciousness is bound to it too, so I can also use it.”

“But… why are you giving me this?”

[That’s all you’re asking?]

{Where do I start? Like ‘Sans, you know the United States military would kill everyone down here for just one of these…?’}

[Yeah!]

“’cause if push comes to shove, you need a weapon. One that doesn’t involve getting in close. ‘cause many of the monsters in upcoming areas are… insensitive about humans’ biological limits or dangerous to humans just ‘cause of their physiology. But I… I want to make sure I have control of it too, so it’s not… misused…”

“Fair enough.”

“If you have anywhere you keep valuables at home, find a place like that in your room at the Snowed Inn,” Sans cautions as we begin to walk back into town. “But make it somewhere close to you. So you both don’t lose it and so it doesn’t… wander over to you by accident while you sleep.”[

{Why is he laughing? That’s… really creepy.}

[I don’t thiiink he meeeans it…?]

{Yoooou dooon’t thiiiink?!?}

“IT might do that ‘cause, well, the Gaster Blaster is a semi-conscious weapon bound to its user. If it’s not near you it’ll try finding a way to you.”

We walk through the door of the Snowdin Inn, monsters calling out to us as we pass. When we reach my room, I sit on my bed. “What you want for dinner? Grillby won’t keep track of your gold today.”

{he knows?}

[Well he knows your password… and him and Grillby are good friends.]

{Fair enough…?}

“More bacon…?”

“That’s the spirit. Just… hold onto it until I getback okay? It’ll float at your waist when you walk, sit, or lie down, by default, until you ask it to move or move it yourself.”

Sans… clacks… across the room as he leaves. “You two get acquainted okay?”

“Uh… okay?”

“Just keep cool, okay kid?”

“Okay.”

When Sans closes the door behind him, my bed sags a little on one side as Chara appears. “Well: this happened!”

“Yep…”

“Can I hold it pleeease!? It’s… strangely not scary at all when it’s this small…”

“Seriously!?”

”Yes!””

Heeeeell nooo!”

Chapter Text

15

"So… you're saying that John wrote lots of teenagers' books and his nerdy brother talked about sex a lot because science!"

"Not talked: talks… 'cause SciShow..."

"He has his own channel? Why doesn't he, like, just do everything there?"

"First off he shares it with two? Three? Other dudes... and second I don't know okay?"

As Chara and I scroll through Crash Course's playlists, searching for a new topic for them to learn, I try explaining to them why John might have become a YouTuber… even though I first learned about him through boredom in high school and I don't actually know much about him. "But Hank is sooooo cool!" Chara seems… pretty damn happy as we start Crash Course Psychology over a plate of bacon. "Why isn't he doing everything?"

"Uh… 'cause John does literature stuff… 'cause he writes books and stuff… so Hank wouldn't be able to do the literature stuff."

"But why?"

I am about to answer when someone... knocks on my door… then knocks on my door a second time… and a third time… and a fourth time… then a fifth time… then says: "Knock knock. Who's there?"

"Sans come on!"

{Who's…?}

"Who is it?" I call out. "And Sans why the hell'd you knock so many times?"

"Because all the people profiting off your being bodied also knocked. To be completely honest."

"Robin?"

"Yeah it's me."

"Ugh…"

[Oh God… it's soooo bad... but still funny though…]

{Chaaaaraaaa!}

"Oh! Robin! Why would you say that to her?"

It's the Snowdin Inn innkeeper… and she sounds… offended…

"The sooner you open the door," Robin calls, "the faster you can get back to infodumping us!"

"What…?"

[I think they mean us retweeting every video we watch… every last one...]

{Truuuue…}

I stand from the bed, turning right and walking along the right wall until I feel the front-most wall of the room. As I sidestep to open the door, the Gaster Blaster presses against my waist. I wrap my right hand around it, the sensation I know now as magic flowing through my fingers.

After I open the door and let everyone in, they start talking at once.

"Oh I hope I haven't disturbed you!"

"My sister told me about you and your experience at the shop. I had some suggestions I wanted to put by you before dumping them all on her--"

"Grillby and I came up with a plan for how you can pay for your meals and work for me without leaving your room!"

"Hey hey whoaaa." Sans cuts off everyone else. "Amy? Laura? Guys? Hold up. This wasn't what I had in mind when I said we were gonna come over. And see her. You're not letting her take everything slow. She at least deserves that."

"Whaaa…?"

"We," the Snowdin shopkeeper says slowly, "were worried about you. We were all there, watching the… the fight." She hesitates before saying it.

She laughs nervously. "Well it didn't turn out to be much of one didn't it? Oh I feel awful I shouldn't have--"

"Ehh." I dismiss. "It's okay. You're right though…"

"I'm Laura." The Snowed Inn owner touches my shoulder, then my elbow, then my hand, prompting me to shake hers. "I never felt the need to tell you my name since… well… Snowdin Town's small. Everyone sounds different. Even we know that. And we don't have to learn people's voices just to get to know them."

"Laura? Thanks for everything though. I have no idea of how long I'll be staying here."

"I know. Just… I'm considering taking part in Robin's plan so you can pay me back how you wanted to when we first met. You seemed pretty distraught when you found out how broke you were."

"Yeah… but Robin what's the plan?"

"It's simple. Just, sit on the floor please. It's easier this way." He advises.

I oblige, and I hear the rustling noises of everyone sitting near me, followed by a… metallic noise. "I propose that I send you Nice Creams through this Dimensional Box. And that you wrap them--"

Another metallic noise. "--using this machine Alphys finished just this afternoon."

"Dimensional Box?" I repeat.

"They're like the PC in the Pokémon games. You put stuff in in one box, you can access it in another."

I notice at this moment that Sans sounds like he's sitting directly next to me, on the opposite side to the Gaster Blaster…

"How does it know it's me? And that I'm getting out my own stuff and not someone else's stuff?"

Sans doesn't answer. "It's… complicated. The technology is pretty cutting edge, even now. But I... have some books on it. I can go looking for them if you really want."

"Sure. Robin? What's the machine like?"

"It uses magic to fuse the openings of the wrappers shut. I'll show it to you later."

"So I'll package them here and not outside where your cart is?"

"Hell no!" Robin's.. offended too. "You'll stay here, wrap however much I send you, then put the wrapped Nice Creams back in the box. You just tell me when you received them and when you finished, so I can pay you based on how long you worked, and how many you packaged. This way you can work mostly at your own pace, in a setting you're comfortable with."

{Whoaaa Robin thooooough!}

[Yeah!] Chara sounds, pleasantly surprised. [I never thought he'd do this. This is good though! We can watch YouTube while doing it!]

{Truuuue…?}

"I put this by everyone else," Robin continues. "Grillby and Laura will get your meals to you. But Grillbs wanted to experiment with sending your food to you via the same Dimensional Box, so we'll do that first."

[Don't deny it you're happy you don't have to cook or buy groceries."]

{Yeah...}

[But we'll take those.]

{Yep.}

"And if it doesn't work Laura can just bring them here. You can just text Grillbs your order."

"But how will--"

A… thing… heavy thing… rough thing… fat thing... falls into my lap. "I finally finished it."

{Uh… how can Sans sound out of breath if he doesn't have to breathe?}

[I… don't… know…]

"What is it?"

"Why don't you find out?"

Grillby's Menu as of October 201X

Drinks (alcoholic drinks will not be served to non-cemented monsters)

{Whaaat does...?}

[So no underage drinking?]

{Chaaaaraaa!}

[What!? That happens in college doesn't it? At least that's what you're remembering…]

{Duuude!}

"Well?"

"It's a braille menu! And it's freaking huuuuge!"

"Yeah… formatting everything right… did that."

Sans laughs. "Unless you wanted me to abbreviate each item and put those abbreviations on a flowchart, and then put the full descriptions on a completely separate page. 'Cause double-sided braille isn't a thing right?"

"Ugh…"

[Whaaaat?]

{That'd happen whenever I looked at braille diagrams. They'd put the abbreviations on a separate, not facing page. So it'd be annoying to read.}

[Oh… I see…]

Chara pauses. [Ugh…]

"And before you ask no I didn't hack the American Printing House for the Blind's web site. I looked at the formatting for some braille diagram catalogs."

"Oh thank God…"

"What are you two talking about?"

[Amy's..., like, really lost…]

{I know…}

[Just making sure.]

{Riiiight…}

[What it's true!]

"It's braille stuff. 'Cause what they'd do is--" Sans takes the braille menu from me "is that there wouldn't be braille here. There'd be braille here. So she'd have to flip the page every time she'd want to know what an item was."

"Hmmmm. Interesting. But how is it that the dots here don't cancel out the dots here?"

"You… format it right… and prey."

Sans and I laugh. "Truuuue! I tried doing my own two-sided braille by hand when I was younger… it didn't end well… and I had no idea of why it didn't work. I just put the braille in any blank space on the back side of the page. And when it didn't work right I'd rebraille it… and it'd get even more fucked up…"

"I came here because I wanted to take you up on your offer to show me braille." Amy explains. "I'll be coming after work of course, but, I don't work eight hours. I rarely do. It's more nine-to-two not nine-to-five."

"Huh. I… never thought that was a thing…"

"It's okay. Most monsters don't work forty hours a week. Actually they work more day-to-day, not by week. We have… little need for breaking down time into weeks. But I'm not really the right monster to talk about that."

"I wanted to check up on you every day after we work so I can pay you. And verify your meals' costs so I can deduct that from your pay beforehand." Robin adds. "And besides: we can talk about the… videos you've been posting on the Undernet over the past… day… also. 'Cause I really like them."

"Which ones?"

"The economics ones. I never imagined I'd like this stuff." Robin's excited. "But I read all of The Wealth of Nations, not just the specialization stuff. I wish I'd thought of this sooner."

"It's okay. Well it's not okay but you know what I mean… Like, the only reason you didn't know is 'cause your guys' Inter-Undernet is… kinda slow…"

"As for me," Sans moves the Gaster Blaster to my knee, placing my hand on his own as he holds it, "I had some… news… about Paps."

"Oh."

Everyone sits there for a few awkward… okay maybe a little more than awkward seconds.

"I'll keep it short, okay?"

"Okay."

"Paps hasn't been home since last night. He's been at Undyne's house. I know since he's been posting confused emojis on the Undernet all day."

"All day?"

"And all night."

"How do you know?"

"I," Sans chuckles, "stayed up binge-watching YouTube."

"{[Duuuude…]}"

"I'm actually planning on calling him on the phone when I get home. I'd talk to him face-to-face but…"

[The shrug though…?]

"I think Paps needs some time to process what he saw-"

"Only soooome time!?" Laura interrupts. "That was amazing! Terrifying and not really like you, but that was why it was amazing!"

"Truuuue." Everyone else, including me, agrees.

"Grillby gasped last night." Robin seems either on the verge of panic... or hype. "I've only heard him laugh until now. And he gasped, plenty of times, last night."

"Wait Robin you went to watch?" I ask.

"Yeah. Why?"

"So you didn't try to stop him?"

"I-"

"All of you know him! And you didn't even try stopping him! It's like the fucking Coliseum all over again!"

[Whaaat?]

{Fighting to the death. One dude's a prisoner or untrained. The other is a lion. Or bear…}

[Well that's not really what happened between you guys but this... Coliseum thing... still sounds interesting--]

{Chaaaaraaa!}

[What!?]

"I--"

Amy's voice shakes. She takes a breath and starts over. "It's one of those things where it's sooo horrible. But you can't help but want to see it. You can't help but want to know what happens. Even if it's…"

"Even if it's horrible." Sans finishes. "Or even 'cause it's horrible."

"Yeah." Laura sighs. "I'm with Amy on this one. I was cleaning up and saw everyone walking to the center of town. I only saw it was you when the fight started."

"Even though I'm the only human so I would've been the only one he could've fought."

"Believe it or not no: he mock fights with the Royal Guard. I'm used to hearing him yell at everyone so..."

Her breath catches. "I… I couldn't Believe Papyrus was actually doing it. And you didn't seem to either. I wanted to look away, but…"

She sighs again. "I couldn't. I honestly wanted him to take your soul. And do it quickly. So… at least if you were to die here, it'd be with dignity. Better than being killed by Asgore after having traveled all that way just to die--"

Muffled sobs.

{Whaaat? I... I didn't mean to...}

[Yeah. But that was… deep…]

"You wanted me to die?"

I'm unsure of whether to feel shocked or angry.

{But she's so nice! How could she--}

[Then ask.]

"It's not like that. Dewey's talked 'about the six humans before you a lot."

Sans sounds… tired… and not the kind involving sleep. "He said we were… conditioned… to favor monsters in everything. No matter what--"

Sans abruptly stops. "No matter what Asgore..."

He trails off, but restarts again. "No matter what Asgore did to try to… treat humans with respect, it never sank in."

[The other four's faces though…?]

{Why? What happened?}

[It's… difficult to explain.]

{You can try.}

Chara doesn't answer.

"So Asgore's tried to make all of you respect humans? If he did then why the hell is there the Royal Guard?"

Sans doesn't answer. No one answers.

"My point is," Sans continues, "is that I was saying how Paps has been at Undyne's house. I'm gonna call him… and tell him what you think of all of this. You can say whatever you want to me. And I'll tell Paps what you told me. But at the end of it you have to tell me whether you wanna talk to him in person about this. It doesn't matter when. Just whether you wanna do it."

"Why are you doing this? I... I insulted him. And your king. And Undyne. Why the hell would you back me up? He's your brother, for Monado's sake! Why the fuck would you put me before him?"

{Wait--}

{[Fuck. Spoilers.]}

"'Cause that wasn't like Paps at all. I've never seen him that angry. Not like that."

'I dunno… he seems angry all the time to me.'

"Grillby! Wow! I mean it's true but still… wow! And you have... a... voice thingy now!"

'Yes. I'm grateful Alphys worked on this text-to-speech device at such short notice. Now I can properly interact with my customers and… maybe even follow Robin's lead and hire some employees.'

"Sweet!"

[He's right though…]

{Yeah…}

Everyone else agrees. "Thing is," Sans sounds a little louder, probably because he turned toward me, "I'm not gonna try to tell you you have to give in to what he says. All I want is that you don't feel threatened around him. You can disagree with him all you want. I just don't want you and Paps to... be like this."

I sigh.

"I know. It's… still a lot, what I'm askin', isn't it?"

"Yeah… I just can't fucking believe he'd do that!"

"I can't either. Just… what I said earlier: about Papyrus' reasons and how Undyne basically said taking your soul is justified, from a monsters' point of view?"

"Yeah…?"

"And that this implies that capturing a human sucks but that it sucks less 'cause it'll free all monsters?"

"It didn't seem like you all think it'd suck…"

‘Yes. Frankly I don't think anyone could apologize for wanting Papyrus to take your soul. It's that conditioning Dewey's told us about.’

Grillby sighs, under his own power.

"I guess…"

"Just… do you think you could see yourself talking to my bro about this in a civil setting? Even if what you say isn't completely civil?"

{I… I can't.}

[No, you can.]

{You don't know that.}

[Yeah I do. I know you can do this. You have me.]

{But you said you'd kill--}

[If I was armed. You weren't. Even if we were we couldn't get close to him if we tried. And just 'cause I'm into weapons doesn't mean I'd always wanna use them. Gloves or… bad words…]

{I… I guess…}

[You can pour it all out. And you'll be safe 'cause he'll have to listen to you.]

{Yeah…}

[If you're really this uncomfortable with it at least ask Sans if you can do it in public in front of as many monsters as possible.]

{So Papyrus can be held accountable for what he says?}

[Yeah!]

"Sans?"

"Yeh?"

"Can we do this in public?"

"I woulda been surprised if you didn't suggest that. Sure. Wherever you want."

"Where do you want to meet him?" Amy asks. "Unfortunately you aren't familiar with the Underground yet, so there aren't any places you could go where you're on an equal footing with him."

'How about at my restaurant?' Grillby suggests. 'I can keep an eye on him and any spectators. And if it comes down to it I can ban him from it for a while.'

"Sure."

"And we can stream it on the Undernet!" Laura suddenly interjects.

"Stream it?"

"Other monsters could comment in the chat." Amy adds. "Everyone deserves to see this. It'll be…"

She gulps. "It'll be the first cooperative thing between humans and monsters we've seen in… in ever."

"You guys got Twitch to work? Sans I thought you guys couldn't make new content on the surface Internet."

"Well it'll be more like a TV special…" Amy trails off. "Well not really. TV and Undernet video streaming are the same thing…"

"Huh…?"

"Yeah it's… always been like that."

"Well," Sans amends, "at one point we did use separate televisions, but when we figured out how to get Internet and recreate it, they became obsolete."

{Greeeat. They wanna see me yell at Paps and him body me again in public. Everyone down here's part of a war-based culture…}

[Come on I know that's not what you're thinking…]

{Everyone down here's a Proud Warrior Race G-Monster?}

[Like you're not part of a culture full of them…?]

{No… *sigh...*}

"This could be big." Robin reaches over and touches my hand. "Well. We all know you wanna talk to him. But we should leave what you say up to you. We'll make sure your time here is smooth surfing--"

"Isn't it smooth sailing?"

"Smooth Undernet surfing," Amy clarifies. "'Cause yeah: on days Mettaton streams the Undernet literally breaks..."

. "We'll get this to Reed and Wrighte and Mettaton so they can prepare everyone. In the meantime, here's a Nice Cream you can eat while I explain how to use this machine…"

... "So it's like you're vacuum-sealing them?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow, text me when you wake up so I can send you thirty of these. This machine times how long it takes you to package each one and texts me the numbers. I'd much rather do thirty hours worth of samples but... I didn't know whether we'd have that kind of time."

{How does Robin know... stats stuff?}

[You can ask...?]

{But how?}

[Why should it matter?]

"Robin? Why are you saying I should wrap thirty Nice Creams? Or work for thirty hours?"

"I... did a lot of reading. And that was something I learned. 'Cause...”

His voice drops to a whisper, and he seems to forget he’s talking to someone. “Apparently it's true: statistics can be used anywhere."

"But what are you gonna do with the data??"

"I'll figure out your average time.” He sounds somewhat normal again. “Over the course of... an hour? Two? Three? I can pay you based on how many you wrapped. And on a little extra based on how long you worked. 'Cause if you make a lot in a short period but keep going, it's basically overtime."

"Okay...?"

"Trust me," Laura's voice sounds slightly louder, like she's leaned in close to me, "he was all worried about how much to pay you. And how. 'Cause, like, American minimum wage isn't set..."

"Yeah... I heard it's ten bucks... while some places are paying eleven."

“Well in gold it’d be different... I’ve figured it all out.”

"How 'bout I call Paps now while you do this Robin?" Sans stands up, removing his hand from the Gaster Blaster, which presses itself against my palm more closely. "It shouldn't take long."

"That," he seems on the verge of telling a joke, "and arranging you to meet Mettaton. 'Cause, yeah. You'll need it."

He walks out the door, chuckling to himself, Chara laughing a little along with him. {Chara? Why is Sans all... sneakylike?}

[Nothing...] They snicker again.

"Okay. I'll let you feel my hands while I wrap one, so you know what to do. In the meantime, you can try explaining braille to Amy."

"Uh... sure."

"I already know about the braille cell," Amy reassures me. "Sans debriefed us--"

"{[Whaaaaat?]}"

"The night you came here. Sans showed up just before Papyrus did with some cheat sheets."

“{[Nice.]}”

She hesitates. "That," she says unsurely, "and I was wondering why there's a huge block of ice shaped like Papyrus' head in front of his house with dots on his forehead... I assumed it was braille, and I wanted to know what it said."

"Okay...?"

"That," Laura adds, "and we were wondering how my sister and I could make useful and artsy signs like that for ourselves..."

Chapter Text

16

The day after Robin proposes his plan, Toriel visits me to bring me more clothes and new supplies. She seems inspired by the Dimensional Box, and muses about using one for the interior of my new bag, so if it was ever destroyed, my possessions could be moved elsewhere in an instant. "I am glad everyone here has taken your safety and well-being into account."

"Me too. Everyone's been pretty chill about everything."

Toriel laughs softly. "Oh, you've already taken to Sans' puns?"

"I took to them as soon as he made a braille joke--"

"He did?"

Surprise and... delight... from Toriel. [Her face though...?]

{She sounds happy.}

[Just a little more than that...]

She sighs, shifting on my bed. "I cannot necessarily say I am surprised. Sans seems to have worked very hard to accustom yourself to living around here. I am more overjoyed than you could ever know, resourceful one."

"Yeah... everyone's pretty cool."

[Whauw whauw whaaauw...]

{Shut up!}

"I am especially impressed by Robin. He seems very, open-minded, about you working for him. And accommodating for your… circumstances… by finding a way you can work in familiar surroundings is especially reassuring. I am confident you will be able to learn the way, even after..."

She trails off, reaching an arm across me. She presses the Gaster Blaster into my palm. "After your, experience, obtaining this. I would apologize for us monsters putting you through such an ordeal but… that is far from sufficient. Sans, warned me, that his brother could be... difficult to reign in but..."

She sighs. "I never imagined he would... push Sans to do what he did. As for Undyne..."

[She doesn't look happy at all...]

"Unfortunately I am not surprised by her behavior. From what I have heard she is... hot-blooded."

"Yeah... I just can't believe Paps attacked me! I've told Sans this but... we figured something out."

"Sans told me of your acceptance of his offer to talk. I am more than pleased that you did so. Considering your history with people... misunderstanding you... I was surprised you did so at all."

"Yeah... I meanlike, I really didn't want to. It's, hard for me to let go of grudges."

"Then why did you do it? It would have taken so much effort to overcome any fear and anger you were feeling."

"Yeah... but it's not like I'm not angry. I still am. And I want Papyrus to know it too. I’m just, not as afraid anymore."

I cradle the Gaster Blaster in both hands, placing each thumb on each side of the ridge on its head... on top... "At least I can defend myself. And I won't... fuck up while doing it since Sans is also controlling it."

"Yes!"

Wonder and... awe... in Toriel's voice. "I am not surprised Sans entrusted a Gaster Blaster to you. You have carried thousands of... U.S. dollars... of equipment with you for years now, after all. This is essentially free. Sans has explained its... their... operation to me."

She pauses. "I never imagined so much thought could be placed into a... a miniature cannon... but... I suppose their magical nature leaves room for flexibility."

"It's kinda like I... like I own a gun now."

"Yes indeed."

Toriel begins to whisper, and her voice echoes off the far wall, like she's turned her head to the side. "I... I wish I had asked him to explain how they worked to me. I should have studied…

“He offered to teach me so many times, but…

“If I was not woefully ignorant before, I am now."

"What's wrong?"

Toriel keeps talking. "If only I had asked for... for a computer... then I could... I could talk with you on an equal footing..."

"You can ask Alphys to make you one." I suggest.

"… Yes I…

“… I will.

“I will speak to Amy when I leave here. Hearing of your interactions with the other monsters, how you have bonded with them… it is more encouraging than you could ever know, resourceful one. I believe it is time I go about purchasing a computer. Because the…

“The Undernet in your pocket… has taught you so much about the world, that you would not have learned any other way. I must be able to educate myself, so you do not have to carry the burden of educating me any longer.

“That is..."

She pauses uncertainly. "That is what…

“That is what he would have wanted."

"Who? Sans?"

”No, my child,” Toriel responds immediately.

“Then who ELSE could it be?”

An… awkward... pause.

The pause continues for several more seconds… and then several more.

The pause only stops when Toriel puts her paws on my shoulders, and repositions us so we face each other on the bed.

“I do not think I am qualified to answer that question, my child. It has not been that long since I…

“Since the last time I have thought about him…” she… forces herself to say. “Because for monsters, it has not been very long at all.”

“Well how LONG has it been?” I ask.

“Since before you were born, my child.”

I go still. The deep melancholy in her voice was the last thing I expected.

“In fact, so much time has passed since then, that I…

“That I am only realizing now how much I have forgotten about him.”

“Well…”

{What do I even SAY to that? She’s so sad but…

{It’s more than that.}

“I hate that I don’t know what to tell you,” I admit. “I don’t know who you’d ask for help remembering… whoever this guy is. ‘Cause from what you said he sounds awesome. I like how he thinks. Thought? But if remembering him will help you get a computer and getting a computer is what you wanna do to honor him, I guess you have to find someone who can help you… relearn? Who he was. He sounds like a teacher so maybe you can look up who helped edit the librarby books.”

We all snicker, Chara included. Toriel squeezes my shoulders. “He was more than just a teacher, Pauline,” she says firmly. “But yes. I agree. I will try out your suggestion.”

Before she can continue, someone's phone rings. After a couple vibrations, I pick it up. "Hello?"

"Hi it's Robin!"

{[Robin thoooough!]}

"Hi!"

"Are you busy?"

"Like, I was just talking to Toriel."

"I know. I saw her walking to the Snowed Inn. It's good I called you when I did. Because I'm gonna send the first hour's worth of Nice Creams. Well according to the numbers you should be able to finish at least three fourths of them in the first hour. Of course this is the very low end, while employing a ten percent margin of error but..."

I laugh. "Duuuude..."

"Yeah I know you'd appreciate how I figured this out. You had a right to know even if you didn’t know about… statistics stuff. I'll send it after I hang up and time you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh Robin! I am so glad you have made these arrangements for her," Toriel touches her hand to my wrist, removing the phone from my hand so she can also talk to and hear him. "I never would have known what to do in your position."

"Really it wasn't so hard to think of this. It's just a matter of convenience. This is what I would have wanted... if I couldn’t see.”

“I agree,” Toriel fervently seconds. “Are you ready, my child?"

"Yeah."

Robin asks, "You have the machine with you?"

"It's on the floor."

"Then we should sit on the floor while we talk resourceful one."

Toriel touches my arm as we sit on the floor at the foot of my bed, where Robin placed the machine and the Dimensional Box yesterday. "Good. I'll get a text when you've finished this so don't worry. You can still talk guys. I'll call if anything happens. Bye Pauline."

"Bye Robin. Thanks."

"Yes, thank you very much." Toriel adds on, and I hang up. As I put the phone down, I hear some... plonking noises... from the Dimensional Box. I open it and feel two containers: a cooler with the Nice Creams and one with the wrappers. "I will be quiet for a little bit, so you may take your time and accustom yourself to the task at hand."

"Okay."

I place a couple Nice Creams into their wrappers and insert them into the machine in the orientation Robin specified, closing the lid and pressing the button. After a few seconds of quiet whirring, and some heat emitting off it, there is a soft clicking noise as the lid opens. I touch the newly-sealed ends of the Nice Cream wrappers gingerly, the plastic still warm. I remove them, replace them into the cooler, and continue with the next couple pairs. As I work, Toriel describes the rest of the Underground to me.

“Waterfall is rather… maze-like. The waterfalls themselves will make navigation using auditory cues rather… tedious. Although Sans or myself could accompany you.”

“Yeah… I was gonna ask you guys to come with me anyway…” I admit, removing two new Nice Creams from the cooler. “What’s it like?”

“It is rather humid and muddy, so I packed you shorts and T-shirts. You will be requiring those kinds of clothing for most of the rest of your stay in the Underground, actually, seeing as Snowdin is the coldest area.”

Toriel reaches across my lap, and I hear a rustling sound. “One of the Nice Creams was not oriented like the previous ones. I knew you could have ascertained its position eventually, but… I do not want you to suffer any delays.”

“It’s okay Robin knows I might take a while.”

“Yes I remember, my child. It is just that, Sans wanted to talk to us after you had completed your work for the day.”

“Why?”

“About your talk with Papyrus. But he wanted to tell you the details himself. He notified me first so you could… mentally prepare yourself.”

“Okay.”

I check the Nice Creams’ cooler and count that I have finished about a third of them already. “What did he say?”

“Well,” Toriel begins slowly, “in essence he said that your talk would be visible to everyone, but that the only ones present would be you, Papyrus, and Grillby. The cameras would be configured ahead of time and controlled remotely.”

She laughs a little. “Apparently he asked mettaton to facilitate your talk, but he… was rather indignant about it.”

“Why?”

Toriel can’t stop herself from laughing as she says it: “In Sans’ own words, ‘I’d say it but I’d sound weird. Safe to say it was dramatic.’ Essentially Mettaton wanted you two to have some semblance of privacy—“

“But this is gonna be filmed…”

“Yes, Mettaton was completely aware of that, according to Sans. He said something to the effect that he assumed you would feel uncomfortable if he facilitated the discussion since you have never met him. After all, he wanted you to learn what he sounded like, and he needs time to, adjust, his broadcasting practices.”

“I’ve heard his voice before. Online… on the Undernet… underline? And like, Laura said he’s on TV.”

“Yes, he is a… TV show host. And news reporter. And actor.”

[I never thought Toriel could be so happy about Mettaton…]

{Why?}

“He’s very expressive. I think you will, find him, very open-minded, if nothing else, when you two at last have the chance to talk under more positive circumstances.”

“Nice. Sounds good.”

As I reply, I close the Dimensional Box, laying my hands on its lid like Robin taught me. I lift my hands from its surface as it begins to vibrate slightly. When the vibration stops, I lay my hands on the lid again, speaking Robin’s name loudly and clearly. After more vibrations, the box finally falls silent. It only takes a few seconds for a clang to sound from the inside, and for the lid to pop open a second time.

“Toriel? How does the Dimensional Box know where Robin is?”

“To be honest,” Toriel muses, “I do not know. I… never had a opportunity to study it. I, merely applied variants of the magic operating it to storage within my own home. Why do you ask?”

“’Cause it’s a machine using magic. And Dewey made it sound like only monsters could use magic…”

“Oh. Sans told me of your, quality time—“

She chuckles a bit, “—with Dewey. He has not changed at all…”

She suddenly sounds wistful. “Of course his occupation as librarian would place him in a very favorable position for informing you of how the Underground operates. He was rather persistent regarding this matter, when I last spoke to him. Although his task was to inform the rest of monsterkind instead… although those two tasks are, essentially identical.”

“When was that?”

“It was… oh I do not know how to explain… not too long ago. Maybe… 199X…”

“Two years ago?”

“Yes… more or less…”

She takes it back. “Well… not human years. More… Underyears…”

“Whaa?”

“Underyears. They are… an alternative form of timekeeping around here, primarily used by…”

[Daaaamn she does noooot look happy at all…?]

{Why?}

[You’ll see… hear…]

“—by Asgore’s closest followers.”

{Yeah. I hear it…}

“it is based on the fact that it takes seven souls to break the barrier. It is… seven periods of seven weeks of seven days to an Underyear. 343 surface days.”

“But you told me I fell down in September of 201X…”

“Well… most monsters use the human year since it is much more… compatible… with the human media we are given via the waterfall flowing into the dumpster. September of this year… 2015… is still apart of 201X.”

“When did 201X start?”

Toriel does not answer.

“Toriel?”

She still does not answer.

[*Sigh…*]

{Chara…?}

[*Sigh…*]

Toriel takes a Nice Cream from my hand, and I hear the machine opening soon after. “You are around halfway done now. I can apply the heat to these three Nice Creams, while you ask Robin how many more shipments you will wrap, and when he will pay you. Because afterward, Sans will be coming.”

“Okay.”

I reach over, bumping the Gaster Blaster’s side as I feel along the floor for my phone, only for my phone to… push against my fingertips…

Toriel laughs in delight, :Oh yes!” she exclaims softly. “The Gaster Blaster is semi-conscious. It is like Sans’ second pair of eyes. So he could see your phone.”

After a short, confused pause, I laugh as well, but much harder. “Whaaaat?”

“how else would the Gaster Blaster know the location of your phone?”

“Yeah… truuue… I’ll text Robin now then.”

… “Pauline, this is the last shipment. I will call Sans—“

“I can just text him.”

“But I do not wish to disturb you. You can do this last batch independently. I have helped too much already.”

“Ehh it’s okay… I… I’m happy you came over…”

“You are most welcome resourceful one. I will go out and call Sans then.”

Toriel stands and pads toward the door, which soon shuts behind her. I hear her voice a little faintly in the hall.

[So if Sans can see stuff through that…]

{Yeah…?}

[Shit Sans can see me!]

{So…?}

Chara doesn’t answer. [Just… I don’t know how he’d react to seeing me appearing out of nowhere all the time when you’re supposed to be alone…]

I find Robin’s name in my contacts and text him, asking about my pay. After only a couple seconds of silence, the phone vibrates, alerting me to a notification. I touch my finger to the upper half of the lock screen, where the voiceover says: “Messages: Robin. I’ll send you twenty gold per Nice Cream. So 400 gold in total today. 5:45 P.M.”

I reply with a thank you before answering Chara. {But… he… sleeps… a lot…}

[Yeah, truuuue… so we should be fine. And if he does… let’s just say this isn’t as bad as when he found out about the resets…]

After a few more seconds, Toriel knocks on the door a couple times before entering. “I have notified Sans of your progress. He says he will arrive shortly.”

“Okay. I just texted Robin. He’ll pay me 400 gold today. He’ll probably send it—“

A knock on the door. “Knock knock. Who’s there?”

“{[Fuuuck!]}”

“I… did not expect this…” Toriel… sounds like she’s reacted the exact same way… just without the swearing…

“It’s open… I think…” I call out.

The door swinging open… and the smell of bacon wafting into the room. “Yeh. It was. Hey kid. Hey Tori.”

“Oh hello Sans!” Toriel stands up, walking toward his voice. “Pauline was just about finished—“

“Yeh I know. On the way outa Grillby’s Robin stopped me to give me updates about you. That and to lighten your load by tellin’ me to bring some Nice Creams over.”

“Yeees!”

“Yeh I knew you’d be happy.”

The slap of slippers against the floor as Sans sits next to Toriel, farthest away from me. “I’ll keep this short, ‘cause after this I was thinkin’ we could invite the others over here.”

“Sure!”

“’kay. So. I’m sure Tori told ya about Mettaton wanting to respect your privacy and not freak you out…”

“Yeah…”

“So, he was wondering when you wanted to do this. He’s in no hurry. And neither is Paps. He… actually wanted to take a few days to… sort things out… for real this thime. And not just the stuff in our house.”

“Okay.”

“He’s, taking this pretty seriously.”

Sans’ voice becomes firm… but not… Gaster Blasters incoming… firm. “And trust me: I’ve seen him serious. And this is different. He’s… been looking all over the Undernet for… for things.”

“For what?”

“I’m lettin’ him take care of that himself. I won’t know what he has planned until you do.”

“Huh.”

“How much longer will Papyrus need to prepare himself?” Toriel asks.”

“Ehh… maybe until… the end of this week… so… four? Five? Days? From today. I, we, wanted to know when in the day you wanted to do this.”

“The… morning… morning-ish…? I could get myself to wake up early for this…”

“How early? Paps is… an early bird.”

“Uh… maybe noon?”

“I can get you there quick so you can get it over with.”

“But it is merely…” Toriel calculates. “Maybe a few hundred feet… at most? From the entrance of the Snowed Inn to Grillby’s? Pauline has walked that route before—“

Sans laughs. “Yeah… she has. But not with half the Underground tryin’ to catch a glimpse of ‘er. And or Mettaton. Let alone on the same day…”

[Truuuue…]

“Oh yes… I see. I suppose it is necessary then for you accompany her—“

“Wait.” I interrupt. “Toriel, you’re right. That I know this route I mean. I… I can clear a path for myself, if need be.”

The Gaster Blaster Suddenly grazes my leg so it rests in my lap, between my hands. I cup it, the edges of my hands above the spikes jutting out of its temples. “Like, Sans can shadow me while I hold this. He can follow at a distance… or wait on me or something…”

“Yeh.” Sans sounds confident. “I like that idea. ‘Cause, lots of monsters are reaaaally confused about how you can get around by yourself. I can just have Mettaton tell everyone to not talk so you won’t get overwhelmed.”

“Yeah…”

[Good thing he thought of that… ‘cause if you get freaked out I get freaked out…]

{Yeah…}

“Thanks Sans.”

“No problem. Mettaton may be the most—“

He abruptly stops, only to restart again. “The most well-known monster in the entire Underground, even more than Asgore. ‘Cause yeah… he’s our YouTube star…”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. So… you want me to tell Paps you two’ll meet five days from today?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Thanks for that. Now I’ll text the others. ‘Cause… I found something we could all do together tonight.”

He laughs… and continues laughing… “Oh man.”

He can’t stop laughing. “I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it, but it’s pretty damn popular on YouTube. We could learn about human culture. And you can learn why Laura was so horrified by Robin saying him and her and Amy were profiting off your being bodied!”

“Whyy???”

“Why what?”

“Why was she offended?”

“Well… ‘cause Robin was talkin’ to her right before we came over. And… he saw I watched Cards Against Humanity on my computer at my place--”

“{[Oooooh noooo…]}”

“And he made the card combination ‘Step 1: going around punching people. Step 2: a murder most foul. Step 3: profit!’ go together.”

“{[Oooooh noooo…]}”

“Oh nooo…” Toriel gasps. “However… Robin did create a… logical response… so…”

She laughs, somewhat aghast. “I am unsure of whether to laugh or reprimand him for his behavior…”

“Yeah… it’s pretty good…”

Chapter Text

17

… “Damn it Robin how the hell do you keep getting all the good cards?!”

“How is this card good? We don’t even have cancer down here…”

“{[Ugh…]}”

“I threw it away. I was saving the ‘cheating in the special Olympics’ card for you, but I didn’t want to waste it since this card was asking about why you couldn’t complete your homework.”

“But still! We’ve gone over twenty rounds and I’ve only won… like… one point! And seriously that’s, like, too real…”

“What!? You and Sans said this is supposed to be offensive!”

“That’s not my point!”

“I,” Amy hesitantly replies, “have to agree with Robin on this one. After all, the ‘cancer’ card is only good when played against you…”

“Son of a bitch!”

“Unfortunately most of these are… close to useless… if played against us.” Laura half laughs, half sighs, as she brushes my hand while refilling her hand back up to seven cards. “And come on Robin knew you’d pick it. And this game’s about offending everyone and inevitably playing to the czar so why are you even mad?”

Now, it’s my turn to sigh. “Fine. I suppose. It’s just that… it’s really bad but really good… but really unfair now…”

“I guess.” Robin concedes.

‘I’m the czar now,’ Grillby speaks up, pausing for a fraction of a second before reading his card: ‘How am I maintaining my relationship status? And Pauline, FYI I am single.’

“Uh… okay.” I choose a random card from my hand, hoping it’s relevant this time…

“Hey hey as much I like hearing you guys rage at the cards,” Sans’ voice sounds a little louder than earlier, like he’s turned his head toward me, “but we should probably finish up, like, when someone reaches six points. ‘Cause yeah… the meeting with Paps is tomorrow…”

“Okay…”

“And if you really wanna continue the game longer we can keep track of everyone’s hands and put everything on your table. ‘Cause you, like, never use it…”

“{[Truuuue…]}”

“And besides: I have to make sure paps doesn’t, overdo it.”

“Overdo what?”

“Hey Laura that’s what I was gonna ask…”

“We’re all worried about him. Snowdin’s a lot less, exciting nd interesting, without him around. I’m just curious about what’s been going on with him. Is he at least back at home?”

“No… he’s been askin’ me to send hhim stuff through the Dimensional Box. Clothes. Books. Dry noodles—“

“Druy noodles?” I repeat.

“For spaghetti.” Sans clarifies.

“Oh yeah… ‘cause like, that’s his thing…”

[YOOOOU IDIIIIIOT!]

{I forgot--}

[How could you have forgotten the fucking frozen spaghetti!? And you not eating it triggering him?]

{Fine, fine…}

‘The cards are in,’ Grillby announces. ‘I’ve already shuffled them Pauline.’

“Okay.”

He begins, ‘How am I maintaining my relationship status? Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff--’

He pauses abruptly. “What happened?” I ask.

The pause continues for a little while longer before he finishes, his voice much quieter than before, ‘--retiring to Florida, and dying.’

Everyone laughs… and cringes… simultaneously… “Wow…” I manage to say before breaking down incoherently.

“Whaaat?” Laura and Amy’s voices are… muffled…

[They’ve, like, both covered their mouthes in shock… and they’re trying to suppress laughing.’

{I guessed as much… and they’re not doing a very good job.}

[As for Sans… he’s… just laughing…]

“Oh man. I feel so bad for you.” Sans pats my leg as he speaks. “Just… wow… wow…”

“Yeah… this is pretty truuuue…” I can’t help but admit.

‘The second response is,’ Grillby continues, ‘a…’

He trails off. ‘A constant need for validation. Oh…’

Cue groaning from everyone, including Chara…

‘The third response is, guys who don’t call.’

Someone clapping.

[That’s a thing…]

{What is…?}

[Grillby clapping.]

{Oh…}

‘I’m, impressed, and very, very sad that this is even here.’

“Same.” Robin agrees.

‘The fourth response is, being a motherfucking sorcerer.’

“Eh!” Sans and I affirm.

‘I, can’t say I agree with this. But, I can’t say I disagree either. This one… no… the first one wins.’

“Which one?” I ask.

‘Marrying? Retiring to Florida?’ he partially repeats. ‘Who’s was it?’

An awkward silence.

Collective groaning from everyone.

‘Pauline?’

Tangible disbelief from Amy. “I… I can’t believe…”

“Damn it the sorcerer lost?” Robin also sounds disbelieving. “But… this is what we are as a people—I mean as a group Grillby! How could you! You didn’t even read the last card! How could the all you can eat shrimp for $499 lose! You own--”

‘Because,’ Grillby attempts to calmly justify Robin’s loss, ‘I am a monster, who technically only has to worry about a couple of these things. Or even if I have to worry about all of them, it’s not the same. You should at least understand that.’

“Yeah… truuue.” I agree.

“Yeh. Same.” Sans copies me. “But Grillbs? One more and we’re done for the night okay?”

“But you said—“ I begin to protest.

“Yeh I know. But I just realized it’s almost eleven. At least if you’re gonna get to Grillby’s on time, you have to be ready by 11:40 tomorrow morning. And I’m accounting for all the YouTube videos you’ll watch after we all leave in your… sleeping time.”

“{[Truuuue…]}”

Everyone else agrees…

“Okay I’m the czar. What’s my card?”

“It’s,” Amy reads aloud, “blank: that is how I want to die… wow… morbidly relevant much?”

“Yeah…”

More collective groaning.

… “Chara get your own blanket!”

“I did! I just can’t sleep!”

“Stop moving!”

“I can’t! I’m… I’m scared.”

“Yeah… me too…”

“But you know what?”

“What?”

“Before we leave the Snowed Inn, save.”

“No.”

“Do it, in case Papyrus reacts violently. I… I don’t know if we can trust his reaction to be… peaceful… or not… manhandling.”

“Truuue…”

“And besides: you have to stay determined. I told you that back at Home.”

“The Ruins?”

“Yeah. The Ruins used to be called Home. ‘Cause that’s where the monsters lived before moving to New Home.”

“Wait you can’t be serious. It really—“

“Yes it is. Asgore’s reaaaally bad at names.” Chara answers, before scooting to the edge of the bed.

... “Come on I know you’re dressed but just too lazy to get off the bed.”

“Saaaans…” I groan.

“Looks like we don’t have a choice!”

[That Shulk impression tho--ahhhh!]

Someone’s hands on my shoulders… and the Gaster Blaster jumping into my hand before falling back down to my side soon after. “{[Fuuuck!]}”

“Hey I wanted to tell ya about my shortcuts in a more tasteful and controlled environment but…”

“Really? So you can…?” I begin to ask.

“Yeh.”

“So you technically never have to walk?”

“Yeh. But I’m… too lazy to do this most of the time.”

“But you did it just now…”

“Yeh but this is different. Come on, stop stalling. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can get this over with… and the more time we have to think of a new plan if things go to shit.”

“Fine…”

I exit my room, walk across the lobby, and out into the cold, thankful Toriel replaced my snow clothes. After a couple steps, Sans lets go of my arm, and I hold the Gaster Blaster in front of me in both hands as Chara controls my body. It pulses with magical energy, squirming while I squeeze it between my palms, as if trying to… find a comfortable position to sit in…

[…]

{Chara?}

[Nothing… just… is it weird to mention that the Gaster Blaster doesn’t look so scary when it’s this small now?]

{It still is…}

After about a minute more of walking, I turn left and reach out my hand, about to open the door to Grillby’s, only for someone to open it for me. ‘Hello,’ Grillby whispers to me.

“Hey. Thanks for this.”

“No problem. Mettaton is, pretty far away. At the library actually, watching the livestream. Sans will be right outside if you need him.’

A pressure on the Gaster Blaster’s top, and warmth brushing my fingers. ‘Assuming that this is, insufficient.’

“Okay.”

‘I set up a table closest to the door. But sit wherever you like.’

“Okay.”

I follow Grillby’s instructions, taking the first chair I come across. After only a few seconds of waiting, the door opens a second time, and I hear the thud of heavy boots on the floor.

Papyrus.

The chair across from me scrapes outward, Papyrus presumably sitting down.

We sit there for a few tense seconds.

I don’t know what to say. I don’t’ want to mess up. I’m afraid… I’m afraid if I have the first word, I’ll just keep talking, and won’t stop, and Monadodamn it if I’m civil and Sans asking me to be civil…

“Human?”

[Papyrus being so quiet though…?]

{Yeah…}

“Yeah?” I reply.

[Just ‘yeah?’ Even I know you could have at least said ‘yes…’]

“May I?” is his tentative reply.

“May I… what?”

“May I say something?”

[… Whoa.]

{Yeah… this is… different.}

“Uh, sure.”

Papyrus… clears his throat… somehow… and I try not to become distracted by it. He begins to speak, so softly I have to lean forward by placing my elbows on the table.

“I… I know humans customarily greet one another with a handshake… or a hug, but… we both know that is not, appropriate.”

I softly sigh. “Mmm-hmmm.”

“And I, I am aware that my mere presence here is…”

Papyrus hesitates. “Uncomfortable. Unbearable, even.”

[He never stumbles over his words like this. Last time didn’t count. This is real.]

I sit silently, waiting for him to continue.

“I… I cannot begin to express my… my regret… at how I have acted. My regret, however, is not for all the reasons you may assume. I, of course, have come to my senses about my failure… my failure to truly take your disability into account.”

More patient silence. I readjust my position in the chair but continue to lean toward him.

“I failed to listen to you, and Sans.”

He laughs nervously, and I can’t even begin to describe it, because it’s not his typical gneh heh heh.

“To think: I continually blamed Sans laziness for everything, when, in fact, I had failed to pay attention to what he did and said, on the way over here, everything he did to try to make your journey here… accessible.”

Papyrus says “accessible” as if he has just said it for the first time.

[That’s good. Paps knows the buzzwords…]

I put my puzzles and my own pride above all else. Even… even his approval, in the end. All I wanted was… was to be popular. To be prodigious. To be a member of the Roayl Guard.”

I don’t know what to say, but I manage to respond instead of continuing to sit there: “I… I remember that. You said that here, before the fight.”

I continue listening.

[He’s right though.]

{Yeah. But why did he say he regrets what he did but not for the reasons I might think?}

“As much as these failings have hurt you, however,” Papyrus’ voice raises slightly in volume, so I lean away from him slightly, “I cannot necessarily say all of it was my fault.”

He pauses for a fraction of a second, then elaborates, “I saw you leave the library that day. I… I knew you must have learned about us. And about…”

He takes a breath. “And about… what most monsters think of humans.”

“You mean the monster kids’ school reports?”

“Yes. Specifically… that about the advantages monsters possess when compared to humans.”

“Oh…”

“I have gone back there, and read those books for myself, in the time since we last… met. And I… I think I… I have come to understand something…”

“What?”

“That… that I have been raised to act the way I do.”

“Yeah. Dewey told me…”

He stops, a bony hand pressing against one of mine from across the table. “You were right, in a way: Asgore wanted to recruit loyal monsters for the Royal Guard, those who would not hesitate to… to kill humans with no hesitation.”

“Yeh I knew that…”

“But that’s not all. He also wanted to hire monsters who… saw humans as… less than human.”

“Whaaat?” I ask in a hushed voice.

[I’m intrigued…]

{Me too… and I’m not sure what to think about that...}

“I know you know what I mean.”

Papyrus’ voice cracks.

[Whoa.]

{Yeah. What does he…?}

“I treated you like an object.”

[Wait. Papyrus--]

{Oh my God…}

As Papyrus begins to sob, both his hands press on top of mine, while I still hold the Gaster Blaster. “I treated you like a… a thing… to be bought and sold. To be used however I pleased. Not a… not a conscious being. That was wrong of me. That was very wrong of me!”

A few seconds of crying. I am unsure of what to do, so I continue letting him cup my hands in his.

“If there was anything…”

Hiccupping which should be impossible…

[Whoa… his face though…]

{What!?}

Chara doesn’t answer.

Papyrus sniffles… somehow… “If there was one thing I was taught growing up, it was that humans and monsters must be treated with respect, here or on the surface. That their… dignity… as conscious, independent beings, must be upheld. At all costs.”

{Whoa…! This sounds like something they’d say at my school though…!}

[Huh. Interesting. What was it like?]

{It’s… difficult to explain. But… let’s just say this stuff is… was… their thing.}

[Oh!]

“I… I failed you. I’m… I’m sorry. I, I know you probably can’t forgive me but… if there is anything you wish to say to me, now is the time. I said such terrible things to you. It is only fair you do the same. I said my then-honest opinion of you. If you wish to do so to me, do it now.”

I compose my thoughts for a few seconds.

{Don’t swear. Don’t swear… just don’t do it… Sans said to be civil… I have to…}

[Stay determined. Everything is going to be all right.]

The most soothing voice Chara has ever used.

I slowly reply: “Papyrus?”

“Yes?”

I sigh. “I… I can’t say I’m not angry at you. I… I still am. I still can’t believe you’d treat me like that, just for your own personal gain. Or for the sake of someone so… terrible… as Asgore… which seemed, still seems, the same to me...”

I pause for a moment, then continue, “And to be honest, if it weren’t for Sans controlling it, I would have found you and fought you with the Gaster Blaster, and not given a shit whether you lived or died. As long as I could… prove I could do things on my own. As long as I could prove that being blind didn’t make me weak. I’d do it.”

I collect my thoughts again. “But what you’re saying about individual dignity, I get that. If there was one thing I learned from my time in college, it was that they respected individuals. The president said professors taught students by, by ‘educating the whole person.’ They call it the three Cs: competence, compassion, and conscience. All their classes helped with one of those. Hell even their engineering program talked about taking compassion into account when designing things.”

“Oh.” Some energy returns to Papyrus’ voice. “That, makes sense.”

“Like… I can’t say I’m much better than you. If it weren’t for Sans I wouldn’t have thought of coming to talk to you. It took everything I had to even listen to Sans when he said you wanted to talk instead of driving him away and cussing him out and calling you really really horrible things...”

Papyrus asks, more of his usual passion returning to his voice, “why did you take it then!? If Sans had not… stepped in… I do not think I would have done this either.”

I respond with no hesitation. “’Cause, I thought you realized how fucking horrible you were for treating me like that and I wanted to hear you say you were wrong and I was right and that your king was stupid for hiring you for the Royal Guard—“

[You swore…?]

{Shut up!}

“I know.”

Papyrus’ voice softens again, calm, but somewhat louder. He’s leaned in closer to me. “I realized this, after reflecting on how we talked to one another, up until, I hurt you.”

I wait some more.

“And, I suppose, we are not so different after all, in some ways. We are not so different in ways that matter. But not all of them.”

“Okay.”

“I am unsure of how aware you are of this, but you seem… tired… right now. It pains me to see how much pain and suffering I have caused you, on top of what you must feel constantly, considering you have fallen into a wholely new place.”

“Yeah…”

[He’s not completely right, isn’t he?]

{Yeah…}

“I will keep this brief then: we can both agree that we disapprove of Asgore’s policies. Yet I cannot help but acknowledge that my family upbringing has failed to completely trump the influence society has had on me, regarding humans.”

“Yeah.”

“You also see the effects monsterkind has had on me. And you are justifiably angered by them.”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

A short pause.

Uncertainty in Papyrus’ next few words. “I kno we cannot change monsterkind overnight, but…”

Papyrus pauses, his voice having regained most of its usual volume when he next speaks. “But there is something we can do. I propose that you, as well as our finest experts in as many disciplines as possible, human or monster-made, gather to try to find a nonviolent method to break the barrier. Surely, you must know something! You have been to college!”

“Uh… not for that long… and you guys have the Undernet, so why ask me?”

“Because you are the only human reference we have.” He decisively states, his chair scraping against the floor as he stands. “As intelligent as us monsters are, we are still, severely lacking, in many areas regarding humans. And, seeing as you are amongst the minority of humans, you must have extensive knowledge of how humans think society should function. Maybe that knowledge is the key to undoing the magic sealing us underground. After all, humans did it. They had their motives. And motives and emotions power magic. You know this!”

“Yeah that’s true!” I’m a little more than surprised by Papyrus’ sudden outburst and his idea. “I don’t know if I could go that far, but…”

“Nonsense!”

I gasp in surprise. “Oh—“

“I am sorry.” Papyrus stops shouting… proceeding to talk at slightly less than his usual volume for the moment. “I am just… excited. We have never met a live human to examine the effects of monster magic on who was able to help us. That had been the one thing that had stopped Dr. Alphys and—“

Papyrus stops again. {What is it this time?}

[… I’d say you know but… you don’t.]

{But what is it!? Why has everyone been, like, stopping what they’re saying in the middle of it all of a sudden?}

[I’ll help you find out. I promise. You’ll be seeing Dr. Alphys soon. She can tell you everything. Sans and Papyrus will make sure she does.]

{Okay…??}

[I mean it.]

“Uh… sounds good,” I respond, trying to bridge the awkward silence.

“Okay then!” Papyrus lets go of my hands, his boots thudding against the floor as he walks to my side of the table. I stand to face him.

He touches one of my hands with one of his, which breaks contact with the Gaster Blaster. He does the same to my other hand, and then I hear the clunk of the Gaster Blaster being set on the table. I am unafraid of its absence.

“Human—oh! I am sorry! I should not, I cannot, call you that anymore. Pauline?”

“Yeah?”

Some scuffling of boots on the floor.

Papyrus manipulating our hands so our palms press together. I notice that his hands are truly level with mine now, seeing as our wrists also press together, at my shoulder height, so our hands partially cover my—

Our, faces.

Papyrus has knelt down--

No.

He’s not kneeling.

He’s sat down on the floor.

Papyrus has sat down on the floor in public, live in front of everyone, just to be eye to eye with me.

When he next speaks, his voice resonates through my body, not just because of his closeness, but because I sense magic flowing into me from his palms, from his entire being. His voice sounds deeper than normal, to the point that He sounds completely different: intelligent, dignified, and yet, somehow… eager. All at once.

“I, Papyrus Wingdings Gaster, second-in-command of the Royal Guard, humbly ask you to accept my offer, on behalf of the Dreemmur royal family, the Inertia Society of Royal Scientists, and all monsterkind.”

{…}

[How the fuck can we top that?]

{… I know! Just… what the fuck!?}

Chara seems… just a little more than confused now. [No way. He didn’t just--]

Before I can verbalize my confused mental reaction, I reply “Okay.”

As I finish speaking, Papyrus presses his palms against mine, and in the process, my palms press against his as well. After a few moments, he readjusts one of my hands so I am holding onto his wrist. I feel his weight shift as he rises to his full height, and he places the Gaster Blaster in my free hand. “We mustn’t delay! We must rush to see Dr. Alphys as soon as possible!” he shouts, his voice still… deep… and smart… and dignified-like…

As we walk out the door, I hear two sounds.

First, I hear Grillby’s unrestrained laugh of pure joy.

The second is… someone’s voice calling out over dozens of shouts, if you could call all of the noises the monsters were making shouts.

“Don’t any of you know the meaning of decency!? Let them through! I specifically forbade cameras here for God’s sake! I am the reporter here. Oh Pauline darling, I am soooo sorry for all this. This wway to the River Person please. I’m right here, don’t you worry. If you and Papy ever get separated, follow my voice. And don’t be afraid to break out that Gaster Blaster to clear yourself a path through these oh so rude spectators…”

Chapter Text

18

"Papyrus!"

It only takes a few seconds for Papyrus and I to become separated. I can't even begin describing how overwhelmingly loud, and confining it feels. I already hate regular, human crowds, where basically everyone is taller than me, their bodies restricting my auditory range so I must walk much closer to an object to avoid it.

Monster crowds are... much worse...

{Nope nope nope nope nope nope!}

"Actually," the voice calls out again, "let's go to your house Papy. It's much closer. It's near where you two fought--"

A sudden swell in noise, so I can't hear the rest. I shout "Sure!" back at them anyway.

[Thank Alvis we can still hear him...]

{Him?}

[Yeah he's a he.]

{Okay.}

"Oh for God's sake Aaron she can't see you flexing knock it off!"

{Heh?}

[Don't ask...]

"Human! Please! Use the Gaster Blaster to clear a way toward us! Do not worry. I am confident my brother found a way to adjust its firing patterns to account for you navigating through crowds."

I grasp the Gaster Blaster in one hand as if balancing a tray, its rounded shape obviously changing it slightly. My right palm presses against the magne ovale in place of the usual tray's flat surface, fingers curved against their mandible. My thumb supports the occipital bone, the bone at the back of the head. I hold my other arm up in front of my face, the edge of my palm facing outward to protect myself from eye level obstacles. Despite Chara’s control over my body making walking independently faster and less hazardous, I remember this technique saving me from hitting poles in high school. Unlike stopping using my cane, this habit will not be given up so easily.

I sweep my arm in front of me, in a similar arc to the arc created when using my cane, except I am clearing an approximately shoulder width space, from my shoulders down. When I used my cane, my hand and wrist would be at waist height and therefore, would be scanning that area.

The whine of the Gaster Blaster has just begun ringing out before I sense monsters moving around me. The space in front of me feels properly cold, rather than stiflingly hot from bodies pressing up against me. I walk faster, knowing I can follow Papyrus and... the other guy—the other monster, more freely.

[Uh... it's good we're wearing snow shoes 'cause the snow's all... melty and gross now...]

{Why?}

[The Gaster Blaster. It’s not as bad as Sans’ Gaster Blaster but still it did a number on the ground. We really need to come up with a name for them--]

{Chaaaraaa!}

[I’m serious the Gaster Blaster is basically Sans with only a head it’s only fair--]

{Chaaaaraaa!}

[We’ll talk about this later. Just aim it again. A few more rounds of this and you'll catch up with Paps!]

{Okay.}

After another cycle of whining and rumbling from the Gaster Blaster, I now recognize that we're on the sidewalk again. After a few more feet, the... other monster... with Papyrus calls out, "When you reach the end of the sidewalk keep walking toward us. You will walk across the space in the center of town where you and Papy had your fight. Then you will feel more compacted snow and stone. That is a residential sidewalk."

"Okay."

After one more use of the Gaster Blaster, I reach the new sidewalk, Papyrus shouting, "This way! We are both standing in front of our house, Sans' and mine."

"Okay!" I confirm.

It only takes a few dozen more feet to reach Papyrus... or rather it takes a few dozen more feet for me to turn off the main sidewalk and walk straight into Papyrus...

[That's, not normal...]

{Nope. People usually get the fuck out of the way but I don't have the stick of doom anymore so--}

[… Whaaat?]

{A girl in sixth grade named my cane the stick of doom... and it stuck...}

[Oh... I like it.]

"Take my hand human." Papyrus gently removes the Gaster Blaster from my hand, positioning my fingers on his wrist as we walk toward his house. "The mailboxes are to our right. And the path leading behind our house is to our left. You must walk up two steps to reach the front door."

"Papy? I am very glad you are describing all this, I really am, but we may need to save the tour of the outside for another time. The crowd's catching up with--oh Sunderplane! Ooooh heeeeell nooo!"

{Whaaat?!}

[It's a long story...]

{As always...}

[Seriously what Sunderplane did was... weird.]

{...}

Papyrus leads me up the stairs, and I hear the click of the front door being opened. We walk inside just as some voices... grunts... clicks... begin sounding behind us, louder and louder.

"Sans?" my newest monster sighted guide calls out. "A little help here?"

"Sure."

Only when I hear the quiet slapping of slippers on carpet and feel a bony hand uncurling my fingers from around Papyrus' wrist do I realize Sans is near by. He walks past me and out the door onto the porch.

The voices and noises quiet down all at once. It only takes a second for the footsteps... beating of wings... other sounds... to recede away from us.

The thunk of the door as it finally shuts, and the four of us stand... somewhere... in the house.

"Well kid? You're here now. Glad to have you."

"Uh, should I take my shoes off? 'Cause like, at a lot of my friends' houses… and my cousins' houses… we do that…"

"Ehh."

A verbal shrug from Sans. "Take 'em off. Just put 'em somewhere--"

"Nonsense!" Papyrus interrupts. "You ask her to take her shoes off while the living room is still--"

"I just teleported to her room. I brought her stuff here and like, just set it down. I woulda cleaned up but I was watching you guys come over here through the front window. And besides: I wanted more direct control over the Gaster Blaster from here."

A heavy pause. "I… I am sorry for yelling at you like this Sans. Just… I am used to…"

Papyrus doesn't finish his sentence.

[Whoa Paps looking hella sad though…?]

{Yeah… he sounds really sorry.}

"Ehh. Bro, you're not wrong. I still haven't cleaned up upstairs. We can go do that, while Pauline gets to know Mettaton."

"Yes. I agree. Pauline, the sofa's up against the right wall, about... ten feet, from you, diagonally. Mettaton will be sitting to the right of you. I will accompany Sans to make sure he actually puts effort into cleaning up."

"Okay that works."

When I sit down, it only takes me a moment to realize that the sofa feels, very sunken, under me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you darling."

{Heh?}

[Why you confused?]

"Hi."

[Seriously, like, why you confused?]

A cold... thing on my folded hands. I flinch back, only for… the thing… to envelop them.

Someone... Mettaton... is touching my hands.

Mettaton reorienting my palms so they press against... his metal palms... like what Papyrus and I did earlier. Afterward, we engage in a traditional handshake. I can't help but be fixated on his hands. His... metal... hands...

A long, dramatic sigh. "It has been a long time since I have performed that handshake."

"That palm thing?"

"Yes, precisely. It has been... oh, twenty years? Since I've performed the Inertia Society handshake, and the first time I have performed it in this new body."

"New body?" I repeat.

Metal clanging on metal. "{[Fuuuck!]}"

"Oh how could I forget? I, I should have made time to meet you before today. Well, in retrospect, no one is nonplused by me being a robot so--"

"Wait whaaat!?"

"Oh dear."

More than a little concern from Mettaton. "Well to be fair I used to be a super fighting robot; that was my intended purpose, but--come on darling I know you know what I just namedropped."

{I was laughing?}

[You weren't but... your face, kinda, gave it away... and the only reason I know this is a reference is because of your memories...]

{...}

"Uh… okay. I mean, people... humans... in my world, have been kiiiinda, joking? About what would happen once we had AI but--"

"Don't get me started on your conceptions of robotics." Mettaton huffs. "I've read plenty on the subject. At least, what little I can download without hacking. Hard AI, soft AI, tests for consciousness, programming morality? Bah! Better that any, artificial," he scoffs at the word, "intelligence, learn for itself what is right and wrong. And if humans really can't stand the thought of AIs making mistakes, they should not have made advancements in this field of study to begin with. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, as they say."

"Yeah, truuue. So, you're a robot?" I ask.

{I know it's a stupid question but--}

[Actually it's not.]

{He's, like, hella passionate about AI though...?}

[Yeah. I mean it's only fair since humans will perceive him as a robot--]

{Perceive?}

Mettaton calms down a little. "I am a ghost, possessing a robot body. Employing technomancy, as you humans call it. Although this body is powered by magic, rather than the methods you're used to. Mostly because it is an empty shell. After all, I would not be able to interact with my fans or even make videos if I had no physical body to interface with my cameras computer or editting software but--"

"Editting software?"

Mettaton squeezes my hands in his. "I know you must be, very confused, right now but, come now I know you know what I do for a living. I've seen your repostings of my earlier content. Everyone has. I bet, everyone's gone to look for your Undernet profile as we speak."

"So, you post videos--"

"Darling," his hands press harder against mine, and he sounds louder, so he's likely leaned in close to me, "I know what a YouTuber is. You may as well call me one."

"Wait whaaat you're a YouTuber!"

"Though that is not the job I am most well-known for, yes, I am."

Unbridled pride. "Actually, you could say I introduced the Underground to the concept of a YouTuber. Monsters have been watching it ever since its popularization, but, let's just say the younger generations have latched on to several human personalities in particular."

"Wow! Who do they watch?"

"As of late? Emile, or Chuggaaconroy, as he is known. Since Sans has reposted nearly every video he has made in the past, oh, year or so?"

"What?"

[Same. That'd be, like, several dozen hours of footage. And, like, it's been only... a couple weeks?]

{Yeah... sounds about right...}

"Of course! Sans hasn't told you has he? He's been reposting every video Emile has posted over the past year or so. Ever since... June of last year, in human years. I was actually in the process of uploading a video explaining what they were this morning. I left my computer on at home to let it work on uploading while I came here but..."

Another dramatic sigh. "I would not be surprised in the slightest to discover that you and Papyrus broke the Undernet. And before you ask: yes this is physically possible. The Undernet, as active as it is, is quite small on human standards."

"I wasn't gonna doubt that but like, what other YouTubers do you guys watch?"

"Well," Mettaton seems contemplative, "does the name Mark Fishbock ring a bell?"

"Uh..."

I rack my brain. "Maybe...? Uh..."

Chara begins to snicker uncontrollably. {What!?}

[Nothing...]

More snickering.

{Chaaaraaa!}

"His YouTube handle is Markiplier."

"Oh..."

[Oh my God he did it!]

Chara's snickering transforms into uncontrolled laughter in an instant. [Come on I know you're thinking he sounds like Mark... don't lie to yourself. He did it on purpose!]

"I very much admire his style. So much, I adopted his voice since, well, most monsters born within the past fifteen human years have heard him at least once. And really, his voice is perfectly suited for what he does, don't you think? You'd be a much better judge of that than me."

I am unsure of how to react. "I guess...? His voice is like, really deep and loud and stuff...? So, like, people can hear him... even if he’s ranting or rambling a lot…?"

"Yes, exactly. As much as I've come to enjoy Emile, I am afraid Mark is much more recognizable. His voice is actually quite close to the voice I originally adopted, so it was only a matter of employing slight pitch adjustments for me to get it down. Monsters only sound the way they do due to magic. Every monster has a unique magical signature. And this signature gives them their voice. In general, the deeper-voiced and louder the monster, the stronger they are magically. Dewey actually did an extensive study on the matter, a while back."

"Huh."

"And in any case, most monsters born after WiFi was built into home computers recognize Mark, especially after Papyrus spoiled some of his Let's Play of--"

"Heya." Sans calls from... somewhere to our left. "Come upstairs you two. We've cleaned up."

"Okay." I call back.

We stand from the sofa... and only then do I realize how tall the sofa is supposed to feel...

"If you walk straight from where you are you will reach the stairs. There are railings--"

Mettaton stops dead. "Oh my. You two? Why is there a giant robot painting up there?" he asks.

"Oh that's not just any robot." Sans calls down. "That's the Mechonis."

"Wait whaaat!?"

I rush up the stairs, someone grabbing my shoulder as I begin walking across the second story landing. "Slow down. Yeah. I replaced the normal painting up here with one of the Mechonis. 'Cause all the others I wanted to make would be spoilers. And well, I also got some help from Alphys to 3D print it, so it's tactile--"

"Whaat!?"

Sans' and Papyrus' simultaneous laughs of delight. "Even I was surprised human. I never knew you could use CAD&CAD like that until now."

"CAD&CAD?" I repeat.

"Hey bro, remember what we agreed on? Wait till she gets to Hotland to use the old lingo. I... I'm happy I still remember it too but..."

Sans trails off, and Papyrus says "Of course. I, I am sorry Sans. I am, impatient, that is all."

"I don't blame you. Pauline, wanna check out Paps' room? I think you'll like it."

"Sure!"

"Mettaton, I, wanted to talk to you about her... future living arrangements, in my room."

"Of course Sans."

A pat on my head that's slightly too hard for comfort. "If you need anything, give us a shout darling."

"Okay."

Their footsteps walking down the hall to our left.

"Follow me then." Papyrus positions my hand on his wrist as we turn right at the top of the stairs and walk to the aend of the hall. I hear the click of the door as Papyrus holds it open for me. "My bed is directly across from the door. Although, I am afraid you must settle with sitting on the floor, since it is not very comfortable for sitting on."

"Huh?"

I walk inside, walk forward a few feet, then stop, touching a... plastic surface. "Papyrus? Where's your bed?"

"That is my bed. It is shaped like the exterior of a race car. So the bed part is on the inside."

"{[Duuuuude!]}"

"Gneh heh heh! Sans and I have actually discussed altering it but... if you find it cool, we can keep it the way it is. Instead of sitting there, you shall sit on the floor, and I will, bring you, objects of interest!"

"That works." I turn around so my back is against the side frame of Paps' awesome race car bed and sit down. Paps closes the door and immediately starts walking around the room, and I hear... stuff... being moved around. “How did you wanna mod the bed?” I call out to the room at large.

“Well,” Papyrus’ voice comes from somewhere to my right, “there are few truly awesome beds in gaming. And unfortunately very few human car designs have ever appealed to me. Therefore, I have decided that if I ever had the resources to alter it, I would want to sleep in an Animus—“

“Wait whaaat!?”

“Yes! I find Assassin’s Creed rather interesting. I do not object to the existence of the Assassins or the Templars. No; what I object to is how the protagonists’ ancestors are not skeletons!”

“Whaaat?”

“You humans and us skeletons look the same, do we not?”

“but but but but but… you like, you don’t have guts and stuff…” I weakly object, utterly lost.

“Nonsense. We digest food. And even sweat and cry. What has always confounded me is why humans have developed, organs and flesh… when we are proof these mechanisms are unnecessary.”

{Like, isn’t Paps, like, related to the scientists around here?}

[He is.]

{Then why the hell--}

[It never sank in. Besides that I have no idea.]

After a few seconds, I sense him kneeling in front of me. "I have some action figures here human. You may recognize some of these."

"Uh... I can't guarantee--WAIT WHAAAT THAAAAT'S SHUUUULK!"

[Huh. So thaaat's what Shulk looks like. Daaaamn the Monado is as tall as him!]

{Yep!}

"How... h-h-h-h-how... how did you...? I... I c-c-can't e-e-e-even..." I stutter.

"I am glad you like it. I had Alphys assist me in creating the magical blueprint. However rather than use one of her computers, I formed it with magic myself--"

"Wait whaaat!?"

"Yes! Exactly! I used magic to shape the materials conventionally used by Alphys' 3D printers because it would take less time."

"Nice!"

"But wait! There's more!"

Papyrus gently removes the Shulk amiibo--action figure from my fingers and places another in my palm. "Sans suggested this one. Undyne suggested the armor. Unfortunately it is not very practical but... in a game where the player's equipment choices show on their party members, it is only fair she would aim for aesthetics."

"okay..."

{It's--}

[He's--]

{He's... tall though...? But like, how do you know he's a he?}

[Uh... just by looking at him...? It's hard to explain. I have no idea of who this is. Like, I'd say we could just look it up on Google but... yeah...]

"Do you recognize him?" Paps asks.

"So it is a dude." I clarify.

"Yes. If I may,"

Paps sets the action figure in my left palm and holds my right hand in his own right hand. He bends my fingers back so my thumb, index, and middle fingers form a two-pronged, claw-like shape, the latter two fingers together. He places the latter two fingers on the front, right side of the action figure, and my thumb on the rear, right side, closing them to form the aforementioned claw shape. "Move your fingers downward, and tell me if you notice anything."

After a few seconds, I slowly answer: "His right arm is... uh..."

I'm lost for words.

"Is it like Shulk's left arm?"

"No...? This guy's right arm is, like, not wearing a shirt--"

,yes!"

[Whooa he's hyped though...]

"Go on."

"It's, like, all covered up. There's not even any space between the side of his arm closest to his body, and, like, the rest of his shirt."

"So you think his shirt only has one sleeve?" Papyrus presses.

"Yes...?"

"Technically he is wearing a normal shirt, and his right arm is covered up with another cloth but yes, I understand how you came to that conclusion. Well then. Do you know any one-armed video game characters? Ones whose right arm is non-functioning?"

{No way no way no way no way no way.}

[Whaaaaaat why you so hyped?]

{It can't be.}

"I know, one. His name's Dunban, from Xenoblade."

"Gneh heh heh!"

"Wait whaaat this is hiiim!?!?"

"Yes! I am surprised it took you so long to figure it out but... I suppose you could not gather any context from his armor, not only because you have no reference point, but because Dunbun is more inclined to forgo it."

"NAAAAKED DUNBAAAAN YEEES!"

[...? Literally what the fuck!?]

{Dunban gets agility bonuses if he wears no armor...}

[But then, he's, like, naked!]

{Uh... not really... he's presumably stilll wearing clothes... just... no armor...}

[... ...]

"{[aaah!]}" The door bangs open. "I heard naked done ban yes?"

"Rooooobin?"

"Yeah! We made it through the hellhole which is the center of town."

"We...?"

"Laura and Amy. They're, like, downstairs. Our businesses will be running on, shorter hours, until further notice. 'Cause, well, let's just say as soon as I got back to my cart lots of monsters asked me where you were... and I... replied by pointing in the general direction of this house... and said if they wanted to know, to ask Sans..."

Cue us making mutual shuddering noises.

"Like, why the hell are you even here?"

"'Cause, we wanted to see you off. At least that's what we planned to do till the rioting started. Laura and Amy were trying to look up advice for what humans do when there's, a pocket lips? Things? On the surface."

{Wait what the--}

[I think he said a thing wrong.]

"You mean apocalypse, things on the surface?"

"I, think so." Robin still sounds shaky. "Anyway, they've horded food and brought lots of stuff you can bring with you to Hotland. 'Cause that's where Mettaton said it'd be best for you to stay. You'll have access to the best technology the Inertia Society has to offer. And you'll have comparable WiFi to the surface--"

"Wait whaaat!?"

"Well, it'll be, like... two bars of WiFi at least on good days... but still... it won't suck. You can actually stream video there not from YouTube, if you're lucky. So you can finally watch dubbed anime!"

"Sweet!"

"Come on let's go to Sans' room. The three of us checked it out already when we first came and debriefed with Mettaton but..."

A pretty damn good whistle from Robin. "It's cool. Just, you think Paps' room is cool? Like, duuude! It's awesome. I bet if Sans' room was yours, you'd, like, never wanna leave the house again."

"And I can bring the rest of my... amiibo!" Papyrus chimes as we stand up and begin walking down the hall.

"What's next: you have a replica Monado in your kitchen?"

"Human? You mean Monado replica, do you not? Even you should know the Replica Monado is... underwhelming. After all, it is inferior to the original in every way!"

"Oh yeah... I misspoke..."

[Dude?]

{Yeh?}

[First off? I'm confused...]

{It's a late game spoiler reference...}

[Oh...]

{Yeah...}

[And second come on I knew you were gonna ask if they had a model of the mobile artillery. Crashed into a house or otherwise...]

{Did not!}

[Did too!]

{Did not!}

Chapter Text

19

… "This calendar is huuuge!" Laura shouts. "? “Just… why? It's like, half the wall!"

"In case the Undernet goes down and I can't check the surface date. All the important gaming and not gaming stuff is here."

Sans takes my wrist and traces my finger down the, apparently ginormous, piece of paper. "The release date for Xenoblade Chronicles X is over here. And the last Smash Bros Nintendo Direct date is over here. And—"

"Sans."

[Whoa Robin's all serious though…?]

{Yeah.}

"You know this isn't what we're asking about. Yeah, the calendar’s pretty sweet. But how can you gloss over, I don't know, the rack of swords and guns and whatever the hell these sword-shield-gun things are—"

"Gunlances."

"Swords and guns and gunlances taking up half the goddamn room and squishing your dresser into the corner!" Robin finishes at a shout.

"Literally what the fuck!"

"Pauline? I agree!" Robin shouts back. "Literally what the fuck!"

"They're tests from our 3d printer, Paps, Undyne, and mine. Our 3D printer’s downstairs, in the shed."

A plasticy, metallic, scraping sound, and Sans' familiar chuckle. "Oh man makin’ the Masamune was tough. And this is just the small one. The full scale one’s at Undyne's house."

"The Masamune?" I repeat.

"You’ve never heard of it? It's famous. It's from ChronoTrigger. It’s Frog’s sword." he prompts.

"Uh… I thiiiink so…?"

"Aren’t your cousins gamers?"

"Yeah but for Pokémon games, Smash Bros, and that's mostly it."

Sans whistles. “Maaaan you’ve been missin’ out.

“ChronoTrigger’s gotten lots of praise. Three guys, all from different companies and industries, worked on it. And a port for the Nintendo DS came out 8 years ago. That’s probly how ya know it.”

{Whoa…}

“Yeah I think my friend played it in high school but I don’t remember that much.”

"The Masamune’s like the Monado—ya know, the OP fantasy RPG sword the hero’s spposed to use? But for Frog. And he’s not even the protagonist. It was the first thing we made."

Another scraping sound. "I made the Monado… and all the other versions of it… over the past few days. I also have Marth's sword. And Robin's sword. And—"

"Holy shit how the hell do you have all this stuff in one place!" I blurt out.

"Magic."

"He's not lying," Amy quickly adds on. "I can just tell by looking around, Sans used Dimensional Box magic to fit everything in here."

"You wanna check it all out? It's right next to my bed so you can sit on it while we hand you stuff."

“{Uh… should I be freaked out or impressed?}”

No one answers.

[Come on don't deny it you're excited.]

{Yeah… I am.}

[I am too. This is sooo coool!]

{Yep!}

"Sans," Mettaton tentatively asks, "as much as I think all this is a lovely show of craftsmonstership, could we get something to eat for Pauline? Because you look starving. And exhausted. And well, your talk with Papy was during your normal lunchtime…"

"Gneh heh heh! No problem Mettaton. I will warm some food, and check up on Grillby and Dewey. Because—"

"SHIT!"

"Whoa Robin." Sans interrupts. "Calm down. What happened?"

"Dewey. He showed Pauline all that magic stuff. There might be some monsters looking for him. And he's, not much of a fighter."

"Oh no…" Amy, Laura and I groan in unison.

"If you really need someone to go looking for him," mettaton offers, "I can. In the meantime: Papy, get lunch—a snack—a very early dinner--prepared."

"Of course! I have prepared for this exact situation! I will make a lunch, snack, and early dinner all at once!"

Papyrus runs out of the room.

[What would you even call that?]

{Uh… I don’t know… and since lunch/dinner portmenteaus are already stupid… yeah no}

"And Sans?"

"Yeh?"

"This might be asking a lot, but if you have any working gun prototypes, get them loaded. If monsters swarm over here, you all will damn well need them. Conservatively, fifteen percent of the underground came here today. And some of them seem… violent."

As Mettaton walks away, Sans says to him, "My pleasure."

{[That's not creepy.]}

“Anyway,”

Sans’ hands brushing against my wrists as he sets something… long and heavy… in my lap. “This is the Masamune. The larger one is, hmmm… twenty-five percent larger than this.”

… “So,” Amy summarizes, “we’d have to hit them in the head to kill them?”

“Yeah… that’s kinda how zombies work—”

{ I didn’t think it’d take an hour to explain that… but it did…}

“And humans—“

“Saaaans!”

{Woooow Robin can’t even right now thooough…?}

[Well someone’s gotta do it—Paps isn’t here…]

“Come on it’s true. But in all seriousness,” Amy continues where she left off, “does this mean we can’t be zombified?”

“Uh… I think so… Like, you guys don’t have brains to zombify… like I don’t know.”

[…?]

{I don’t know either…}

“But I have thought about what to do, if it happens, I mean.”

“Really?”

“Laura? How do you think I haven’t completely freaked out down here by now?”

[‘Cause of me?]

{Yeah but…}

“There’s lots of zombie prep stuff online.”

[Ehh fine…]

“’Cause as the Internet says: if you’re prepared for zombies you’re prepared for anything… and This is… pretty damn close…”

“Really? I never would have known…” Laura muses. “Like, how would you even deal with that? ‘Cause like, don’t zombies make a lot of sound so that’d get in the way?”

“Yeah…”

“As long as they’re George Remero zombies you’ll be fine. If they move any faster than that you’d be boned—“

“Saaaans!”

“What it’s true. And Robin calm down dude.”

“Dude like, how the hell do you know so much about zombies?”

“’Cause the Internet loves zombies. Even we’ve seen Night of the Living Dead. And well, Paps asked about them once. ‘Cause like, he asked if the two of us could be zombified, ‘cause we’re the humans’ ancestors—“

“But you guys aren’t—“ I begin to correct him.

“I know but paps still isn’t convinced.”

“Yeah I know… he told me earlier…”

“Huh. Interesting. Well it’s good you and him had some alone time. All we have to do is hope he actually makes something good for—“

The door bangs open. “I have prepared our lunch or snack and or early dinner!” Papyrus announces. “And there is enough for Dewey as well, when Mettaton brings him here.”

“Sweet. Come on. We can keep a lookout for him from up here,” Amy takes my arm. “Let’s eat out on the balcony, assuming it won’t be too cold.”

“Ehh. We have magic for that.”

… “What do you think human?” Papyrus asks from his position beside me at the table.

“It’s weird… but I like it…”

“Same.” Laura… I think it’s her but I’m not sure because whoever it is still has food in their mouth. “But dude… we should come over and have lunch more often.”

“I would very much appreciate that. If everyone has finished, I will clear the plates. And all of you should get inside, because it’s getting dark—“

“{[Whaaaat?]}”

“Yes. This side of the house is getting rather dark for some reason.”

Papyrus sounds like he’s stacking the plates. “Let us go inside, while we determine whether the Undernet is still functioning. Because if it is, human, I had something to show you!”

“That,” Robin takes my arm, “and you can pack a few Nice Creams. I only have about a third the usual shipments; that’s all I could carry, but, it should suffice. And I’ll turn the TV on in the meantime.”

I’ve barely finished climbing down the stairs before Papyrus calls from the kitchen: “It’s even darker over here! And why is it so loud outside?”

“Loud?” Amy repeats.

“Yes! It sounds like shouting, like right after we left Grillby’s.”

A short pause. “And it’s getting closer.”

“Getting’ closer?” Sans confirms. “Paps? Can you see anyone out there?”

“Yes actually. Quite a few monsters and…”

Papyrus trails off. “And Mettaton!”

“What!? I thought Dewey is supposed to be with him!” Laura runs into the house. “Why is he alone?”

“Come here and see!”

We rush into the kitchen, cramming around the sink to look out the window above it. ‘Yeah… I hear monsters out there… and they don’t sound happy…” I observe.

“Sans?” Amy asks. “You may wanna get the stuff from your room. Mettaton is strong, but he’s meant to fight humans. He might hurt someone in the process of trying to get over here. We should clear the way for him.”

“Sure. A few ether rifles then?”

“Sure.”

As Amy replies, she steps in beside me, placing her paw on my hand. “Let’s see… Mettaton is a few hundred yards from here. But he’s… he’s stuck… I think. He’s not moving. But… but why?”

“I hope Dewey is unhurt.” Paps’ voice cracks a little. “His library is awfully exposed. Why would he not come with Mettaton? And…”

Paps trails off, but soon starts speaking again. “Human, do you smell something… smoky?”

“Yeah… why?”

“Paps?”

Amy… and she sounds… urgent. “That thing that’s making it all dark out? That’s smoke. And it’s coming from… from the library.”

A single moment of silence.

“Oh Dewey why would you do this!” is Paps’ sudden cry. “I… I never understood why you said you’d protect your books with your life but…”

“Books?”

“Pauline.” Is Laura’s stern way of attracting my attention toward her voice. “Dewey was the one in charge of storing documents about humans. Gaster entrusted him with their restoration so monsters could learn from them. Among other things. And well… Dewey was one of Gaster’s strongest supporters. And some monsters… didn’t… don’t… like that he helped you.”

“So you guys are saying he’s protecting his books?” I infer.

A… surprisingly resigned sigh from Papyrus. “Yes. Although I have no idea of how he would do so since… well… he is not very strong magically. In fact,I believe I have never seen him use magic at all.”

“So,” I summarize, “he’s protecting all this stuff but he can’t use magic?”

Another silence.

{I’ll take that as a yes.}

Sans’ now-familiar walking toward the kitchen. “I just got a text from dewey. He said to clear the way for Mettaton. He told Mettaton to create a diversion so he could get here.”

A chuckle out of the blue. “He said he’d tell us when he’d get here but… come on we’ve all watched sci-fi films and the not really sciency thingy breaks and a guy volunteers to fix it and says it’ll take ten minutes but after ten minutes he doesn’t come back…”

“Yeah.” We agree in unison.

“So yeah. He’ll be going to the basement. I just unlocked it for him. He’s transporting books via the Dimensional Boxes so they’ll arrive before him.”

A few more slippered footsteps toward us… and some… plastic, metallic sounds. “I brought some ether rifles. Well magically-powered rifles… same thing. You guys fire some warning shots. Strap them to your arms and cast magic like normal. And Pauline?”

“Yeah?”

“Dewey said he’d need you and me out on the balcony. Sorry if this is a stereotype but… I’d think you have the best hearing out of all of us. If he tells us something with sound, you’d hear it best. Dewey’ll be coming round back.”

“But I don’t know Morse Code! I only know SOS and that’s it!”

“He said you’d know what he—“

An explosion which rocks the house and the crashing of metal.

“Guys get the ether rifles powered up. We’re heading to the balcony. And,” Sans whispers in my ear, “if there was ever a time to save, now would be that time.”

“But—“

“Dewey’s the closest thing to a college professor you’re gonna get down here. If anyone was gonna help you make up the education you’re missing it’d be him.”

Only an instant of hesitation, before I reply, “Okay.”

[Does the prospect of all that zombie talk coming true somehow fill you with determination?]

{I… I know I should be scared shitless right now but…}

[But what?]

{But… I’m not.}

[So are you filled with determination?]

{Yes.}

… *Several minutes of standing on the balcony, straining to hear over the crowd slowly making its way over to the house later…*

“Anything yet?”

“Nah. No texts, no nothing. And it sounds like everyone downstairs is doing okay.”

“What are we waiting for, exactly?”

“Dewey’ll run over here. There’s a second entrance to the basement in my room so we’ll just follow him down there. But it’s takin’ him a long time…”

“Yeah… I hope the… the not really sciency thingy… thing… didn’t happen to him…”

“S—wait. What’s that?”

“What’s what?”

“There’s a… a light… over… it’s a little far… maybe… a quarter mile from here.”

“Then how the hell can you still see it if it’s so far away?”

“It’s ‘cause it’s a… an orange light. It’s small but… you know how humans use orange cloth if they wanna be spotted in survival situations?”

“Yeah…?”

“That’s orange magic. I… I don’t know what—“

Vibrations from Sans’ pocket. “It’s Dewey. He texted all shortlike but… it seems like it says ‘Change of plans. Being followed. Turn on TV. Pauline listen close.’”

“Okay…?”

Sans grabs my arm, and we walk back into the upstairs hall.

“AMY!”

[Whoa I never thought I’d hear Sans shout though…?]

{Same.}

“Whaaat!?”

“Turn on the TV!”

“Okay…”

Some garbled shouting and other noises. Crackling. “Hello this is Mettaton reporting on behalf of Undermail. And do I have a story for you. Listen carefully, because this is—“

Banging. Screaming. “Where is he anyway?” I ask.

“Uh… he dug himself a trench and he’s sitting in it…”

Total disbelief from Laura. “It sounds like a—“

“Shhh.” Sans shushes.

“Listen carefully,” Mettaton restarts, “Because all you viewers out there? This will be a test of your patience. And all of you are my test subjects, whether you like it or not.”

“That’s,” Papyrus slowly comments, “not like him at all.”

“Well. Here goes nothing.”

The shortest of pauses before Mettaton starts… angrily grunting… and muttering to himself, so quietly I start leaning over the railing to hear.

“This camera’s aperture isn’t opening. Well, human science is rather unreliable. Such marvelous, handheld technology? Please. A better portal onto this astounding scene would be direct magical stimulation of the souls of any monster watching. This, mediating device, only interferes—“

“Hey! There he is!”

“Sorry I had to go about it like this darlings. We had so little time,” Mettaton’s words rush out as the crunching of snow begins to drown out his words. “But Pauline: if you’re watching, I know you’ll pass this test.”

The grinding of metal. Monsters’ shouts growing louder. Static, as the TV’s signal is cut off… and… laughter?

Sans laughter.

“What the fuck happened to Mettaton!” I ask.

“No time.” Sans grabs my arm again. “Let’s get back out there. I… I have an idea of what just happened. It’s stupid but… no one would think—”

“What are you doing?” Amy calls after us.

“Human?” Papyrus’ voice sounds from the bottom of the stairs, “I know you can pass this test.”

A… excited… gneh heh heh. “I promise to provide cake and grief counciling after this is all over.”

Back on the balcony, I can’t help but feel utterly confused. “What the fuck—“

“You know what it is. Me and Paps do too. But Dewey addressed you for a reason.”

“But why!? Mettaton just did a news report—“

“That was no news report. That was a broadcast for us. And on behalf of Undermail? Reed and Wrighte transmitted that. For us.”

A second of my mind being blown…

“Remember what he said. This… test… doesn’t mean shit if you don’t get it. Why else would Dewey ask you to listen?”

“He said the… aperture… on his camera wasn’t opening. If it wasn’t opening, then he wouldn’t be able to film in the first place… I think.”

“It’s not that kind of aperture. What else do you think of when you hear the word aperture?”

“Aperture Science.” I blurt out.

“And what did Mettaton say in the next sentence?”

{whoa why is Sans so close to me this is weird and creepy…}

“He said human science was unreliable…” I recall.

“Specifically: ‘Well, human science is unreliable. Before that he said ‘My camera’s aperture isn’t opening. Notice something?”

“He said science?”

“Yeah. But he said it as the third word. And aperture was the third word.”

“And he said portal later. So he wants us to do something related to Portal?”

“Yes.”

[Oh man if only you could see Sans’ smile right now. Well Sans smiles all the time but--]

“Think of the third word of those sentences.”

“I can’t remember exactly what he said. He said something…” I strain my brain, even though Mettaton just spoke barely a couple minutes ago. “He said how technology—“

“Handheld technology.” Sans corrects.

“Handheld technology wasn’t the best way for everyone… us… to see what was going on.”

“And ‘handheld’ was the third word in that sentence. Now, what phrase do you know that uses—“

“The Portal Gun! The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device!” I finish. “But why? That took forever! Why didn’t he just—”

“In case anyone else got the reference. No one would have known it was out of character unless they knew him really well. No one would’ve known his dramaticness here wasn’t normal. And trust me he’s dramatic aaaall the time.”

“And he said ‘test’ and ‘test subject.’ So he wants me to do something?”

Sans pushes past me and walks forward a few steps. “That orange light… could it be… it has to be… Grillby’s casting orange magic over there. He came with Dewey.”

“Nooo…”

“Yes. And you know how portals work. You need an orange one and a blue one.”

“So…?”

“I was gonna tell you this in safer circumstances, but you saw—felt—heard me—teleport into your room this morning.”

“But in Portal you step in the portal and come out the other one.”

“Yeah. He wants me to teleport him over here.”

“But that would mean you going over there—“

“Not if my field of knowing is large enough. Or rather, enlarged so I know he’s there, even if I can’t see him.”

“So you’re gonna bring him here?”

“No. YOU are.”

“Heh?”

“’Let’s just say… Dewey knows my limits magically. He was there while dad… Gaster… trained me. He knows I can’t teleport him here myself.”

“But…”

{[Whoa…]}

“He knows YOU can.”

“But I can’t use magic—“

“But you’re filled with determination.”

{[Whaaat??]}

“How do you—”I begin to ask.

A completely out of place… but somehow proud… laugh. “’Cause Gaster first hypothesized it. Alphys isolated it. And I named it. Why do ya think I brought up the resets? I’ve been talkin’ to Alphys ‘bout you ever since we met. And have you ever wondered why I didn’t ask about where you got your cash? You… were determined… it was necessary you have that to create it from nothing and stay that way. Haven’t you noticed how bullets dissolve on contact with you?”

“No… and yes…??”

“Let’s put it this way. You know how portals work. I know where Dewey is. And you wanna help him however you can.

“And I give you permission to access my field of knowing.”

Sans steps around me so he is on my left side. He bends my arm so my elbow is resting on the balcony railing, hand up, palm facing outward. He presses one of his palms against mine and interlocks our fingers, and I realize that since our thumbs are on the same side, his left palm is pressing against my left palm.

“It doesn’t matter you can’t use magic yet. You know my field of knowing’s mostly spherical. And you’re in the center of it. Use that image and our physical contact to imagine my soul and the resulting field of knowing. Draw on the knowledge and magic in it like how you’re pulling on my hand.

“And think about how you want Dewey to live.”

“Okay…?”

{This doesn’t sound like hippy shit at all…}

[It’s not.]

Firm conviction from Chara. [I didn’t study magic; no one talked about it like this but… magic is science here. You trust Sans. And Sans trusts it. So…]

“{Okay.}”

A tense moment of concentration. Even though the last time I could see was years ago, Sans’s explanation still makes sense.

A flash of light around us.

The thunk of… something… someone… someones… on the balcony floor.

Frustrated ccreaming from far away.

Sans leading me away from the balcony and back inside as the shouts from the front of the house become louder still.

“What was that!?” Robin asks what I could ask if it weren’t for the numbness flowing through my body. “How the hell did they—“

“Determination.” Sans replies simply.

“Well,” Laura’s voice rises in pitch in fright, “whatever it was is getting everyone to come over here even faster!”

“I will carry Dewey out of here.” Papyrus climbs the stairs toward us. “But I am afraid we will be unable to reach the—“

The front door crashes open, accompanied by a resounding “Good job you two! And Sans? Please get them out of here within the next minute I can’t hold them off forever. I can’t use my full strength here.”

“Sure Neo. Guys? Open the bottom drawers of my dresser. Drop everything and everyone down there. Pauline and—“

“There she is!”

{Wow… that doesn’t sound like an angry mob at all…}

[Truuue…]

“GO!”

Sans pushes me down the hall to the left, toward his room. “Don’t worry about us. We’ll catch up with you. I’ll teleport me and Neo in there.”

We all shout an okay as we pile into Sans’ room. Two sets of arms push and pull me toward the corner, forcing me onto my hands and knees, protecting my head as I crawl toward the bottom drawer. I pull it open, not even stopping to think how Sans managed to hide this from Papyrus.

The drawer comes away from the dresser, but not like a drawer. More like a door, the sides of the dresser acting like a frame. “Go!”

That’s Dewey’s voice.

Hands reorienting me from behind until I am in a sitting position, so my legs dangle down into the hole.

Someone pushes me, and I almost immediately land on a hard surface. I reach out and feel wood. I begin touching it, trying to figure out what I am sitting on… in… before it pushes outward, like the above door.

I turn around and climb down from the… thing with the hidden door… onto the floor. Several thudding and clanging noises follow suit.

As I stand there, unsure of what to do or where to go, I feel a draft hit me. “{[Fuuck!]}”

[The door’s open! Close it!]

{Okay!}

I walk forward under my own power, hands in front of me. After a few steps, I stop where the draft seems strongest and begin feeling for the door. I reach out and soon feel a doorknob.

“I guess Sans didn’t have to leave that unlocked after all.”

Robin’s voice, right behind me.

He lays a paw on my shoulder. In a kind voice, he says in my ear, “Everyone’s here. Just close the door and—“

I am about to oblige when my feet, still bare from removing my shoes earlier, shake against—

No.

That’s the floor shaking.

Not me.

My hand falls from the doorknob.

My whole body shivers, and not just from the cold.

[No no no no no no no no!]

My bones rattle, my ears ring, and, while still standing, my arms suddenly straighten and fall down to my sides, my legs locking together.

{What—}

The floor shakes harder, and I hear items rattling around the room. My legs give weigh, and I sink farther and farther to the floor.

Then, a voice begins to sound.

As my body slowly falls, I eventually end up lying on my back, knees drawn up, arms seemingly glued to my sides. Vibrations resonate through me… and not just those from the floor. The air—

No.

My soul is shaking. Not just the air.

{That’s magic. Isn’t it?}

[Yeh.]

Chara hadn’t sounded scared when Sans first summoned Gaster Blasters.

They do now.

Compared to what I hear… feel… what happens… the Gaster Blasters seem… trivial.

By comparison, Chara’s prior fear seems… utterly misplaced.

“Do you wanna have a bad time?”

Chapter Text

20

"Hu—I mean, Pauline. Please... wake up--"

"Ahhhh!"

"Papy, you could have waited for her to wake up naturally, you know. Her vital signs were stable. And besides: she seemed to be having a lovely dream."

[UGH... *phlegm...* tired... wait Mettaton laughed at what?]

{Ugh... dunno... why are you asking me?}

"Yeah..."

'How do you dream? Do you see light in your dreams?'

I squirm around on the floor.

{Where's Grillby?}

A warm spot appears on my arm. 'I'm on your right side. Sorry for not saying so before.'

"Uh... I see light... and maybe even color sometimes...? There's also music sometimes."

"Human? Have you played Smash in your dreams?"

"Yeah. Like, a few times. I even played against Chuggaaconroy once."

"But how did you know it was him? The only distinguishing characteristic I can think of is his loud commanding voice. Like mine!"

"Yeah truuue..."

"How about Xenoblade?"

A quiet, slightly raspy voice. "Dewey?"

"Yeah I'm sitting next to Grillby."

"Okay. Yeah I have... but more like I was actually in Xenoblade. I've dreamed about fighting some monsters before."

"Have you dreamed about Shulk?"

"Yeah... I've dreamed about wielding the Monado a couple times. Why do you ask?"

"'Cause I started watching Chugga's LP. It's... pretty weird... but cool."

Amy's voice grows louder as she continues to speak, so she's probably leaned in closer to me. "I started watching it while I waited for you to wake up. I was gonna ask you some stuff but... you were glowing blue in your sleep--"

"Heh?"

"Yeah. We tried to move you closer to the computer but like..."

A short, completely out of place laugh. "We couldn't move you. Even all of us together couldn't do it. So Grillby cast fire magic in here to keep you warm. We forgot: Sans doesn't need that stuff so... yeah... there's no heating system in here."

"Yeah... Dewey had to remind us your body temperature could fall too low, even with the snow clothes on..."

A paw on my other arm, and Laura's apologetic voice.

"Wait Amy you said I was asleep..." I begin.

"Yeah Laura and I both did."

Mettaton's metal footsteps toward me, and his voice a couple feet above my head. "Hmmm... actually, I'd say you were more knocked out rather than asleep. In fact, when I first came here most of you were lying down, asleep or passed out. Grillby was the only one awake when I came over here the first time."

"How long was I out?"

"It is... 10:00 now."

Papyrus sounding slightly muffled, as if he is looking down. "At least according to my phone. And the fighting ended... oh... two hours ago?"

I sit up rapidly. "Wait hold up I've been knocked out for, like, seven hours?"

"Yeah." everyone confirms.

"But Papyrus you said the fighting ended two hours ago."

"Yes it did. At least..."

A... shudder... from Papyrus. "At least, the most obvious martial uses of magic stopped two hours ago. But even when it did your soul was still blue."

A nervous gneh heh heh. "You did not even move until the minute before I woke you up."

{How do I even ask...?}

[Uh... ... fuck if I know--]

{Chara!}

[Tell them what you dreamed about. Well it wasn't a dream. It was... what happened to you.]

{But I don't—}

[I do.]

A blinding flash of light.

Blue light.

I squeeze my eyes shut. I begin to shake.

"What the hell...?"

{[Paps?]}

"Sans... by Tesla... what did you do?"

{Paaaaps?}

"Do you wanna have a bad time?" I repeat without even thinking, my body shuddering with each word. As I speak, some of the vibrations I experienced before return.

Well, not just that.

The last voice I heard before... falling unconscious... I recognize it now.

[I had to have you say it. You wouldn't have said it if I didn't make you. Uh... also... to prepare you.]

{Prepare me for what?}

"That was Sans. Wasn't it?"

Silence.

[Everyone's faces though...?]

{I'm guessing that's a yes?}

A knock at the door.

"Ahhhhh!"

{Woooow... everyone was surprised by that not just you.}

A click. Cold air blowing past me.

The door is open.

Another click, and the cold air stops.

Someone closed the door.

Someone walks across the room toward me in clunky shoes... not as clunky as Papyrus', but still.

Some very quiet... moaning... from everyone around me.

[Ehwehwehwehwehw...]

{Chaaaraaa? Whaaaat's wrooong?}

[... Ehwehwehwehw!]

A heavy... thing... falling to the floor somewhere across the room.

Some gasps and more moaning.

Clacking sounds nearby.

"Hey kid."

"Fuck!"

I gasp again... and Robin freaks out at the same time from somewhere in a corner.

Some... very confused... incomprehensible... noises...

Chara and I giving up on figuring out what we just heard. "How... you just... like... walk in here and..."

{Is that Robin?}

"Literally how can you go from shooting giant fucking lasers and throwing monsters around and... a-a-a-and you just come here and say 'hey kid'?!"

Heavy breathing.

A tense laugh from Sans. "Turns out? I took my time getting down here. 'Cause I was tryin' to figure out how to... explain what happened up there."

Awkward silence. "Wait I heard giant fucking lasers and throwing monsters around...?" I squeak.

"Yeh. That's about right."

"You can't be serious."

"Oh. I am."

[Ehwehwehwehw...]

{What?}

[Some left—both—eyes glowing of dooom...]

"Put simply? Some monsters had a bad time."

"{[Ehwehwehwehw...]}"

"How many of them were there?" Amy whispers.

"For all intents and purposes? The entire town came to watch you talk to Papy. So the entire town was there when I retrieved..."

Mettaton stops himself to laugh. "Well, not exactly retrieve Dewey. More like watched Dewey... cement himself."

"As what?"

"His use of magic."

"Yeah Mettaton's right but... let's at least explain what happened up there after you got knocked out. 'Cause Paps and I were awake most of the time. We went out there to take turns watching the shit hit the fan." Dewey points out.

"Gneh heh heh heh..."

"Oh yeah true... but yeah. We saw quite a bit of the fight. There were like, fifty monsters who banned together to attack the house. Or you, I guess. I... on the way here I heard them talk about bringing you to Asgore and stuff.

"It was just... it was incredible.”

Dewey, in awe: “These two didn't fight all of them alone. The residents of Snowdin helped out. They deflected magic away from them. Healed them continuously. Redirected bullets away from any buildings."

"I saw some trying to film us with their phones but..."

Mettaton pauses in thought. "It didn't work. We only found this out later. But yes: I am eternally grateful to everyone here. They had no incentive to help us and yet... they did so, with all their strength."

In a harsher tone, Mettaton says: "But let's be honest here all of you: you're just trying to divert attention away from asking how Sans could have all this."

"Yeah."

"To be frank: I have no idea... he ... seemed like a different monster entirely out there... I expected the Gaster Blasters but... such a wide field of knowing, and such precise control it..."

He sighs. "It made me feel utterly incompetent by comparison."

"Hey. MTT. Calm down man. I'm with you on this one."

A second nervous laugh. "When I walked out that door, I... all I could think of was what would happen if they got to you. To all of you."

A tingling sensation on my hands. I jerk away... well at least I try, but my body begins leaning forward on its own. The tingling returns. I can't move my hands.

"Look: I'm not sure where all that power came from. I just knew... none of you deserved this."

The tingling: that's Sans' hands on top of mine.

“They knew you guys couldn't defend yourselves.

“But they came anyway.

“They had to pay.

“An eye for an eye, as they say."

"I thought the expression was an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind?" Dewey tentatively asks.

My head sinks down. My skin burns. "What goes around, comes around, Dewey."

"So you went out there and beat the ever-loving shit out of everyone?" I have to ask.

"Yeh."

Sans' hands vibrate on top of mine.

"Sans."

A weak whisper… plea… from Papyrus. "I... you... what the hell...?"

A shaky gasp. Then words begin spewing out. "You lazy bones I can't believe you'd do something so reckless! Out of all—how dare you not follow the scientific method—I—!"

"Heh heh heh heh heh. Come on Paps you know that wasn't an option. Even when I first used it I didn’t use this much magic. And you remember Michael Faraday: he did science experiencially and turned out fine."

The tingling vanishes. Sans orients my hands in the Inertia Society handshake, and we perform it. "But you already know what I can do."

"No I—"

"Yes. You. Do."

I fall onto my back and go rigid. I begin... lifting off the floor...

Rising to my feet.

Walking... somewhere.

[I'm not doing this.]

{I know.}

I abruptly sit on the floor, my hands stretched out, palms down, in front of me. I touch a... box... thing...

More gasping.

'But. Taking complete control. How?'

"I know how muscles and joints work. Grillbs? Out of all people I'd think you'd know this. If you know it well enough you can do it. Or, put another way? Magic is a matter of degrees."

'Yes. I remember.'

"Where am I?"

"You're next to the drawers you fell down into. You're touchin', basically a dimensional box for magic."

"Whyyy?"

"'Cause if there was someone I'd want ya to see use magic it'd be Dewey."

But I only did it once!" the librarian stammers. "And I was in danger. That's—"

"You still are."

The box vibrates under my hands. It's the... tingling sensation.

"Okay. But guys be prepared to dissipate it okay?"

A deep breath, a short, sharp bang, and a whizzing sound. "Reach inside."

I find a hole in the top of the box, reaching one hand inside. It doesn't take long for me to touch... something...

"Take it out."

"Okay...?"

I hold a... somewhat round object... in my palms.

"This might sound strange but..." Dewey walks over slowly while he talks, "I expected them to look different. Like, really round and not like a real bullet."

"Huh. Go on." I ask for an explanation.

"Well... it's like a... like a pill, but with a pointed tip. I guess. I'm not an expert on these things. Undyne is..."

"Oh."

Awkward silence.

"Um... everyone?"

"Yeh bro?"

"I... have a request of all of you. Before the—I mean Pauline, goes to Hotland, may we stop by Undyne's house?"

"Assuming," he rushes, "if you feel comfortable doing so. I... I've noticed she's been... rather on edge lately. It's not like her at all."

"Like," I turn toward Papyrus, "when though?"

"As soon as possible. The less time we spend here, the better. And Sans has already brought down our most important belongings from upstairs--"

"Wait whaaat?"

"I dropped 'em off near the door."

"Oh..."

"So," Laura whispers, "you'll be leaving us huh? And we've only, like, hung out a couple times."

"I guess." is all I can say.

"We'll come with you."

"Amy? We need you and Laura in Snowdin."

"But—"

"I... agree with Sans on this one."

Laura sighs. "As much as I hate to say it. As much as I wanna go and help Pauline... I just... there'll be too many of us. We're already putting ourselves in danger by staying here together."

"Wait so," Robin sounds much less freaked out now, "I have to stay too?"

"Unless you learn to use yellow magic in the next hour? Yeh."

Robin sighs. "Yeah. You're right. Now that I think about it... I can tell you guys what's happening around here. Listening to customers in line and stuff."

"You'd do that?"

{I'm with Sans on this one.}

[Yep!]

A short pause, then: "Yes. I would. I... I have to know what my customers think. That way I can serve them better."

A sudden laugh. "And Pauline? I owe you. A lot. You're the most important customer I’ve had in a long time. If I have to eavesdrop to keep you safe I will."

'I agree. We can share information Curie. You can work with me after your cart closes.'

"Of course!"

"Curie?" I repeat.

"It's my last name. My full name is Dewey Durkheim Curie but... I don't think you'd know who Durkheim is..."

He trails off sheepishly.

"Well you have plenty of time to explain."

Sans standing from his place across the room. "'Cause I'll be helping everyone pack a bugout bag."

"A whaaat?"

"Paps. It's a 'if zombies come I grab this and get the fuck out' bag."

"Oh! Like the bag I packed and hid under my bed which you brought down here!"

In a much less upbeat tone, Papyrus says, "Yes. They will definitely need them."

"I'll be gone for… I don’t know how long. But... Pauline?"

"Yeah?"

"Save."

"Save what?" Robin repeats.

"Save."

"Okay."

"Dude? What are you talking about?" Amy asks.

"It's..."

Dewey sighs. "It's related to how Pauline got me over here today. It has to do with Gaster's research. I'd explain it here but... I want Pauline to know it first. And I'd want Alphys to do it. I may have known Gaster for... a long time but... I was the psychologist between the two of us. I don't have any business messing with that kind of science."

"Amy? Grillbs? Come on. I may not have been to your houses but I still know some shortcuts."

"But brother!" Papyrus calls out, as I hear some rustling sounds. Presumably the others standing up. "The human is no longer armed! What happens if... if those damned Dreemmurr fanatics come back?"

An intense humming in the air. "Here. It's meant for you. And I know you can handle using it properly. This one will kill."

"But it doesn't look normal. It looks like... like a regular skull--"

"Heh heh heh. I guess yeh it does. 'Damned Dreemmurr fanatics' musta brought me back."

"Gneh heh. Yes. At least... I won't forget what dad looks like now."

"Yeah. Wish us luck bro."

"I will. And Sans?"

"Yeah bro?"

An edge creeps into Papyrus' voice. "If anyone tries to hurt them, do not hesitate to use karmic retribution on them. For what they've put the human through."

"But Paps—"

{Woooow Sans is confused—}

[More like... taken aback... I think I said that right right?]

{Yeah you did.}

[Yeah!]

"Sans. You said yourself: an eye for an eye. And... as much as I hate to say it, if those damned Dreemmurr fanatics came here today, then... I would think that that warrants using that power."

"But you know it's not—"

"I know you’re nervous about it. But it's powerful. And it’ll… deter them… from going any further."

"You... really sure 'bout this?"

"I am. I know you only used it on me and in lab tests but..."

"What is it?" I ask, intrigued and... creeped out.

"It's a form of magic I saw Sans use once. It's... niche and difficult to use but... powerful. Second only to blue magic. At least I think so."

Sans, firmly: "All you have to know is this: remember the phrase what goes around comes around. This kind of yellow magic is based on that."

A glow fills the room. "Guys let's go. And Pauline?"

"Yeah?"

"I'd apologize for usin' all this magic around you but... everyone does it. I'll tell you when I'm gonna use it if I can. Dad... he put proper use of magic above almost all else."

"Sure."

"See ya soon."

"Yeah."

The glow disappears.

"So," Dewey sits down beside me, "want me to tell you where I got my name from?"

"Dewey? She may want to sleep. She seems like she damn well needs it."

"Yeah true Mettaton..."

"There's a blanket a few feet to the side of us. You should be able to find it."

"Sweet."

"I'll text Sans and tell him you'll be sleeping. We’ll catch the River Person at dawn. It is safest."

"Yeah MTT I'm with you on that one. I'll need to adjust to living in Hotland again."

"Good night Pauline."
{Dewey sounds happy.}

[He is.]

Chara seems... wistful. [I wish I could be there. Like, really there with you.]

{I'd like that.}

A bony hand on my head. "I shall prepare some food for the journey then. It is somewhat long. And, if we truly are returning to Hotland, I have some more packing to do. Like the painting upstairs. I want to hang it somewhere nice."

"Okay. Thanks Paps." I mumble.

"You are welcome. Sleep well human."

[Awww.]

Chapter Text

21

… … … "Ya sure it's not wet bro?"

"I am completely sure! I placed it with Dewey's things. He hates things getting wet. Especially paper. So—"

"{[Heh?]}"

"Oh! Human! You're awake!"

Paps' hand on my arm. "We took Dewey and MTT's advice and let you sleep. But we're on the River Person's boat now. So if you stand up, you must take care to walk slowly and keep your balance."

"I don't think that will pose a prominent problem tra la la."

{Heh?}

[That's the River Person.]

"After all, Sans has cast his cyan spell to stop your soul's unsanctioned slippage. You were out like a light when they carried you aboard. And as of right now, you may as well still be."

{Whoa they're freestyling though! That's awesome!}

[Whaaat?]

{You don't know about rap—}

[Not really…?]

{Like... they made all those things rhyme and shit.}

[I know what rap is. But dude "Sans" and "cyan" don't rhyme. They both start with S but—]

{Cyan starts with C!}

[How would I know that!]

"Uh, technically, "cyan isn't blue. It's blue-green."

Mettaton's voice from somewhere to my right. "But I can admire that rhyme Shakur."

"It's one of the few things I genuinely enjoy in life trala. It’s one of the few things technology has yet to completely overtake."

A firm pressure and some slight pricks on my shoulder. "It's me Dewey."

"Hi.

“What time is it?"

"It's like," Dewey sounds like he's looking down at his phone, "five-thirty A.M. We were gonna let you sleep but… two things. One was that Sans said you seemed close to consciousness. And two: Reed and Wrighte graciously gifted us the latest issue of Undermail when we left."

A… weirdly echoing laugh. "Dewey. You haven't lost your knack for poetry either."

"Yeah I haven't. I might’ve learned about document-preserving techniques, but I still have to keep my literary skills sharp via practice."

"Sharp as a tack." Paps pipes up.

"As sharp as a knife through butter." Mettaton adds. "But look: as much as I'm having fun doing this, we should catch Pauline up, darlings. I'll be sitting on your other side, opposite Dewey."

"But let me hold the paper. It's the only copy we have. They had trouble even giving us this one."

"Very well."

"Mettaton's clanging footsteps across the boat's planked floor. "Okay. Here we go.

"Riots Over Inertia Society Induce Dreemmurrite Bad Time

"Last night, the initially peaceful demonstrations surrounding the human and Papyrus Gaster's negotiations, regarding a collaborative effort to break the barrier, soon deteriorated into chaos.

Emotions ran high through the spectators.

"I couldn't believe my ears,” one Snowdrake said. “Like, it was weird. To see them just, talk. But like, dude, it was like, really cool. The human, wait her name is Pauline. Sorry. Like, Pauline was… still pretty pissed. Like, everyone knew that. But like, she managed to keep her cool—"

"{[Ugh...]}"

"—under pressure. We could all feel the anger coming off her. But she… she calmed down. She like, respected Papyrus. She, like, treated him good. Like, she wasn't scary at all."

“She's polite and smart ribbit.” a Frogget agreed. “I saw her in the ruins. She seemed a bit confused when we first met ribbit. So it didn't surprise me she was scared by Papyrus. I was just glad to see her safe at Grillby's. I'm so happy for her and hope she'll have a good time down here ribbit."

"However some monsters are much more weary of Pauline's presence.

"I don't know what to think of this,” one Whimson said. “She was afraid of Papyrus, so she at least respected his power. She saw he was in charge. So she was rightfully afraid. But for once it's not the human I'm afraid of. It's that short skeleton, Sans. He thinks protecting her is so damned important? Doesn't he know that if he killed her then he could gain eternal fame and glory among our people? We could have been on the surface by now! But he decides to support his brother."

"I'm disappointed in Papyrus.” a Washua agreed. “Honestly. He had so much potential. To be in the Royal Guard. But he threw it all away! How could he!? His nepotism! His human-loving roots! They've truly corrupted him. And as for his brother? He clings to the past. There is no future where humans and monsters can cooperate. That dream died long ago. And how dare he not respect our long-held martial traditions! This is not what the Underground needs. He should remember, as King Asgore Dreemurr said: in this world, it's kill or be killed!"

"We have yet to collect photographic or video evidence of the riots. All cameras within Snowdin Town suffered catostrophic failures in the wake of the fighting and have yet to be repaired. We will release written testimonies from the Snowdin residents as often as we can on our site, uww.undermail.drmr."

Only a moment of silence before Mettaton scoffs. "Really, I do not object to most of this. I actually find it surprising that Whimson even acknowledged how you felt about the incident. As a species they tend to… keep to themselves."

"But what about that… Washua?" I ask. "Like, they were hella mad."

[You don't like them at all don't you?]

{No. Not at all. But mostly I'm just confused.}

"Gneh heh heh. Of course."

{[Whoa Paps though…?]}

"They don't understand. They never did. The majority of them never saw the merit in adapting human technology."

The spaghettor sighs. "Monsters like them are the reason we came with you. They're some of Asgore's most… loyal… supporters."

"Fanatical's more like it."

Chara squeaks. [Not again! No more eye glow of doooom for you!]

"I know Sans. I just… I just think that no matter what they say about us, we must still treat them with some semblance of respect."

"I know that. And normally I’d agree with ya.

“But if we get off and even just one attack gets cast they’ll get what they deserve. Dignity be damned."

The floor under me vibrates slightly, and not just from our movement across the water.

"But to answer your question," Dewey softly explains in my ear, "it's because Sans and Paps, being skeletons, suffer some, issues, interacting with other monsters. The older ones… don't get along with them very well. Even some of the younger ones are scared of them. You never saw that since everyone in Snowdin's used to them."

"Oh yeah…"

"Exactly."

Dewey sighs. "Skeletons have always been discriminated against, just by virtue of being the most human-looking of monsters. There weren't many of them on the surface, during the war. Gaster was the only one who made it down here."

"Holy shit…" I breathe.

"Well that doesn't change a damn thing."

Sans, speaking from Mettaton's old position, and coming closer. "We're all outcasts in one way or another. It's fair we're together."

"Yeah true."

I sit up, Chara and I thanking Alvis inwardly that the blue magic has faded away. "Heya. Could me you and Shakur talk for a minute?"

"Sure. Why?"

"Because I had some observations to make. And some inventory to take tralala."

"Sure."

When I stand, my legs lock under me. One hand resting on Sans' elbow, I slowly walk to the right toward the River Person's voice, who giggles. "I could have come to her you know. No need to leave her knock-kneed, from your blue soul magic mastery."

"This is for some semblance of privacy. And well, as long as we're on board I'd think any use of magic like this is a given."

"Yeah truuue." I concede.

"Well I will waxe on the water's hostile ways no more tralala. I will get straight to it. May I make some observations?"

"Sure."

"You made some awfully specific mentions of your college's philosophy. I was not the first to do so. Some monsters from Hotland filled me in. But suffice to say that I am aware of where you would have went to college."

"I mean, I wasn't trying to hide it…?"

"Then may I continue?"

"Yeah."

"I confirmed earlier with Papyrus that you own, high-end human technology."

"Like, an iPhone is expensive since it’s good but… I don't know there might be phones better than it out there."

"But this is not my point tralala. Far from it. I have several more observations to make."

"Okay go on."

"To sate my curiosity I employed some aid from Dewey. He mentioned how you seemed to have taken…"

The River Person pauses uncertainly. "Some Advanced Placement school courses."

"Yeah AP courses."

"And is it correct that these courses are college-level?"

"Yeah. Like, people at school would take them in high school so they wouldn't have to take as much stuff in college. And 'cause it'd make them look good."

"Not if ya fail you don't."

"True."

"But how do these colleges know the calliber of a recruit's work? They must assess their skills somehow."

"Yeah. They like, have AP tests for each class. So if a student gets good AP test scores, it makes them look smart on college applications."

"And, as Dewey inferred earlier while you were asleep, you have taken, conservatively, one AP course: statistics. You wrote off Robin's bell curve knowledge and statistical processes as we write off the existence of the soul."

"Yeah… I took four actually. U.S. history, U.S. Government, and Microeconomics."

"And how well did you fair on those tests tralala?"

"I got 5s on all of them I think. Except Econ. I think I got a 3 or 4… I think… it’s been a long time… all I know is that my school gave me credit for it so…"

"Just to confirm: this is on a 5-point scale right kid?"

"Yeah."

"Dewey seemed, encouraged by your success. So may I ask: why is it so important that you took these classes? Because shouldn't anyone be able to take them tralala?"

"Like, in theory…? I think…? But like… not really. 'Cause like… if your grades aren’t good then you won't get recommended for them and like… only people who could afford to take the AP test—"

"Wait."

"{[Saaaaans?]}"

"Afford to take it?" he repeats.

"Yeah. Like, you'd have to pay like, 100 U.S. dollars per test."

"And you took four of these?"

"Yeah…?"

"So you got into college just ‘cause ya could pay to take good classes?"

"I still had to work my ass off!"

"Sans doesn't mean it like that trala." Shakur reassures. "But yes. I must agree with him. It seems rather… counterintuitive… for you to attend a school which values diversity when most of the students with the best odds of admission can afford to take the AP tests and hire private tutors for the…"

The River Person pauses again. "The SAT--"

"{Ugh.}"

"Bad memories kid?"

"Oh you have no fucking idea!"

" trala, did you ever utilize one of these private tutoring services?"

"No! I had someone from school help me for free! Well basically for free we paid her per hour but still it wasn't a fucking tutor or something! I studied using really fucking long vocab lists online and braille books I got for free."

"And yet, somehow," Shakur’s voice oozes intrigue, "despite these, setbacks, you received over a 2000 on your SATs—"

"{Hoooly shiiiit how do you—}"

"Dewey trala. Apparently he took the time to search for your records. I do not precisely know how he did it but… he did, trala."

"Huh. So that's how he found my SAT scores. And he probly even found the classes I took in high school and what I would’ve taken in college, if I stayed past the first week…"

"Yes. He said he saw how smart you were, and next this question's what I heard: he asked how you, so rich and smart, some-how, did not fall apart. For when you fell, you left behind so much, and yet, you do not mind.

“I know this, for you haven't broken; really you've been rather open. I'd think, if you missed your life, you'd want it back; if I am right. But you help us, knowing in full, your free reign’s lost on your return.

“How do I know? You barely mention family friends or where you're from. And thus, I rest my case with you, save one last point, then I'll conclude. Although there's things you're sad you left, what you don't miss, outnumbers them.

“Therefore, you join Papyrus' plan."

A haunting whisper in my ear. "I warn: if what you'll do still stands…

“Beware the Man Who Speaks in Hands."

{[… … …]}

{[Whoaaaa…]}

[What are they—]

I sigh, but otherwise don't respond.

"Anything you may have on your mind I would be glad to hear trala," Shakur says more gently. "I just wanted to tell you what I observed. And see how accurate it turned."

"Like… but… that was like… all in verse!"

"I am rather proud of that myself. I pride myself on my poetry prowess."

"Whoa…"

[And it's still goiiiiing!]

{Yeh!}

"Let me guess: the sigh means they're right?"

"Yeah…"

I turn toward Sans. "Like, I miss my cousins. Like, over the summer we started hanging out together without our parents being there and like, that was fun. And like, my college professors are… were… like, really cool and like… they didn't care that I was blind. Or a nerd. They give—gave—a shit about what I had to say. Like, even if they didn't understand it all, like, they listened."

"Like your parents and friends didn't?"

Another sigh. "No but like, my friends play—played—games together but like, I couldn't—can't—play with them 'cause they're online games that you can't play with just sound."

"And your parents trala?”

I sigh again. “They just didn’t—don’t—get video games. Or anything I did for fun. Sometimes me and my dad would listen to music together but otherwise that’s it. And I… really wanted to live on campus but… it would have been too expensive. My thought was we’re already paying $50,000+ in tuition every school year. Why not live there?

“I always imagined myself living by myself after high school, ‘cause like, that’s what happened on TV but… it didn’t happen. It’s, it was embarrassing, that I have to be dropped off and picked up by my mom from school, when everyone else can go everywhere however they want. Even if they don’t drive they can take the bus and shit.

“And the people at school said that people who lived off campus had… have…? a harder time making friends in the first place… and my friends don’t go to the same school as me so…”

“But why do ya hang out with 'em if ya don’t play the same games?"

The obligatory sigh. "It’s complicated… we’ve known each other since middle school, basically. In eighth grade a few of us hung out near my math class during brunch and lunch every day. I also got back into Pokémon that school year since a Japanese kid moved to our school and he hung out with us so…"

"Human?"

"Papyrus?"

"What were your other friends like?"

He lifts my left arm from my side, holding my hand between his, speaking in the gentlest voice I have heard him use thus far.

[Feels!]

{Chara?}

"Where do I even start?"

"Anywhere human."

"Who showed Xenoblade to ya?"

"I met him in sixth grade--"

"This “he” hgot a name?"

"Yeah. Eben. He like, put orange peels in my rabioli—"

[Whaaaat?]

“WHAAAAAT!?”

"Did I," Mettaton slowly walks over to us, "hear that right?"

"Yeah…?"

"You don't sound so sure," Dewey comments uncertainly.

"Like, I don't know either but like…"

"Just…" Papyrus stammers, "w-w-w-why!?"

"I don't know—we were in sixth grade!"

"At least," Shakur sounds amused, "if Eben meant to catch your attention, he should have asked for rabioli. That constitutes my social stimulus standard…"

I’m… not quite sure of how to reply: "I mean, like, I guess that makes sense…? but like—"

"He decided to intervene in your lunch while you were eating rabioli and not spaghetti?!"

"Uh…"

{[…]}

"Let's go where you were before to talk about this, all of you."

"Sure Mettaton."

Papyrus helps me back over to my spot, where everyone sits down.

"So did you hang out with Eben in eighth grade too darling?"

"No. I hung out with Ian in eighth grade."

"What'd he do: put banana peels in your spaghetti—"

"SAAANS!"

"No! He like, introduced me to Portal and Okami and Mother… Earthbound… I still don't know the difference… Also Warhammer 40,000—"

"So he introduced you to the glory which is the cake!?"

"Yeah--"

"Nope."

"No…? He actually did...? He like, motivated me to look up Portal—"

"We don't talk about the cake."

"Duuuude!"

"Saaaaans? What are you talking about?"

"The cake is a lie."

"{Oh heeell nooo!}"

"Human? I agree!"

"Ugh.. that meme is like, sooo old!"

More groaning.

"But hey: anyone who likes Earthbound's my kinda guy. Haven’t gotten to play it, but I watched Chugga play it a little."

"Yeah… he was the least weird out of the four of us. He'd like, make sure Eben and Chen didn't do anything stupid… too stupid…"

"Chen?" everyone repeats.

"His real name's Michael but we call… called… him Chen since it's shorter—"

"By one syllable…" Dewey trails off.

"Yeah I know. But it sounds cooler and there were like, sooooo many Michaels at my school so…"

"So did he put banana peels in—"

"SAAAAANS!"

[Wow Paps is soooo triggered…?]

"No… He like, was hella trolly and stuff. 'Cause like, he played really weird decks in the Pokémon TCG and Magic: The Gathering—"

"YOU LIKE pokémon!?"

{[Whoaaaa Paaaaps thooough...!]}

"Yeah. I've liked it ever since I was in… third grade…? I think…?"

"Undyne looves Pokémon!"

"No way."

A… mischievous… gneh heh heh. "I shall take the necessary steps so you can properly meet her so we can show you her Pokémon card collection."

"Duuude!"

"Anythin' else we have to know 'bout Chen?"

"He'd try to stop Eben from stealing my food during lunch in high school and he worships the Holy Cheese Muffin and made April Fools day Holy Cheese Muffin Day instead—"

"What the fuck?"

[I'm with Sans on this one.]

"This Eben guy--"

[Oh maaaan… Sans does not approve…?]

"—I’m just thinkin’… why the hell did ya hang out with ‘im?"

"He's nice though! He just… likes—liked—food… a lot… and I just so happened to have a lot of food every day ‘cause my mom would pack food for my friends and for me so…"

"Did he play Pokémon too kid?"

"Yeah like, he started hanging out with me and Ian and Chen ‘cause he saw me and Chen playing Pokémon and decided to move three feet over from the dudes he played chess with to play with us. And he made a deck with the cards he had at home and got recked since I tried hella hard to make a good deck—"

"Good. Long as he didn't mooch cards or strats off ya—"

"No. We like, traded stuff though… and he got hella jealous one time when I got awesome pulls from booster packs he bought for me for my birthday… and the thing is is that he gave me half the packs and kept the other half…"

Clapping. "Eh. Get dunked on."

"Gneh heh heh! As you ought! You have amazing luck! Because you had the fortune to befriend me and the rest of the Gaster family! And the Inertia Society!"

"Well you’ve still gotta put in a shit load of work," I bluntly point out to Papyrus.

"I know that.”

He becomes much quieter, and much more serious, in an instant. “I… I just want to honor our father as best I can. He was… very kind. And also very smart! He was the smartest monster I knew."

"Yeah."

Sans and Paps sound… nostalgic… and in awe. "I… I hope that when we reach Hotland, we will have the honor of showing you his life's work. After all, he told us that presenting our achievements for a human would determine the true extent of our accomplishments as a civilization. Our values. Our reasoning. Our mastery of the world around us."

"And," any semblance of laziness disappears from Sans' voice, "in any case: you'll be stayin’ down here for a while. Monster children for fifty-plus years have grown up surrounded by the magic from the CORE. Some even get how it works before they're even literate. It's only fair you learn about it as well."

Sans laughs, filled with pride. "And I'm damned proud of what Dadster did, makin’ the CORE. Whatever happens, we have to show it to ya. Even though we have to teach ya how magic works from the ground up just so you can appreciate it. 'Cause frankly: humans haven't done anythin' like it yet.”

Vibrations of blue magic run through my body—and soul. “And even if ya do, we did it first. And we'll lord it over ya as long as we live."

I sit in shock for a moment.

When I fell, I never thought about how I was able to charge my phone. How Sans and Paps heated their house. How their TVs worked. Only that I could.

How could I want Undernet access so badly, knowing how hard it was to obtain, and yet, not realize how miraculous it was that the monsters even had electric lights and plumbing?

Would monsters even need electricity and plumbing?

{[Whoa…]}

{[Thaaat waaas deep…]}

"Yeah. He… he said showin’ the CORE to other monsters was his pride and joy. But doing so for a human?"

An eager laugh, and not just from Sans. "Thinkin’ of that drove him. If he knew ‘bout you… just damn. He would've been bouncin’ off the walls."

"Sans?"

"Yeah bro?"

"May we stop at Undyne's house? I wanted to accompany Pauline to meet Undyne. If anyone were to escort her when they formally meet, it should be me."

"I'm with ya completely on that. The rest of us can go ahead to Hotland. To tell Alphys to prep everything."

"Well, you and Dewey can go." Mettaton says. "As for me, I have YouTube content to catch up on."

"We are almost there trala," Shakur calls out. "Gather your things and prepare to disembark. It was a pleasure to have you aboard Pauline."

"Thanks… uh… Shakur… You mean like Tu Pac Shakur?"

"Yes."

More amusement. "I actually find his addressing of social issues rather candid."

"But he was like, explicit and stuff."

"I find his approach direct and appropriate. If it were not for his untimely death, I would have invested my time and effort to paying tribute to him."

"Duuuude… I never would've thought you were into that."

"Don't judge a book by its cover trala. Or in your case don't judge a monster by their worldview."

"I… I guess…"

Dewey's hand… on my arm.

He slides it down my arm until he touches my hand.

Those are Dewey’s claws interlocked with my fingers.

"I have your bag. We should be getting off in like, two minutes. I'll call you when I get to Hotland. And I'll tell Alphys all about you."

He sounds like he’s beaming. "She'll be sooo excited to meet you."

"What's she like?"

A light laugh. "You'll have to see for yourself."

"Oh. All of you?" Shakur calls out, "it seems your monster of interest has deduced our coordinates. She is running this way."

"HEY PAPYRUS!"

"Yes! Undyne!"

Papyrus walks past me, yelling as he goes.

"Where are you going?"

"Your house of course!"

"Perfect! I was on my way back from my morning run so just bring her here."

"Very well. Put on your bag human."

"Okay…"

I have just finished doing what Papyrus asked when someone lifts me off the deck by the back of my bag… and I fly through the air… and hit… a hard surface…

Thank Alvis it's not the ground.

"Gotcha!"

A clattering of metal near me. "Gneh heh heh! I, the Grrrreat Papyrrrus, have stuck the landing once again!"

Undyne… yelling near me… and I'm still off the floor.

"Just hold still okay? I'll carry you."

"{[Heh?]}"

"I'll walk slow. Just tell me if you want to stop. You hear me?"

"{[Okay—?]}"

“YOU HEAR ME!?”

“Yes!”

We begin walking. "Great! See you guys! And good luck." She calls out.

"Heya: do that again and you’ll get splattered against the ground. I know you’ve heard the eyewitness reports about last night…"

"Sure sure I'll give you greater warning next time, I promise.

“And Dewey? Say hi to Alphys for me, will you?"

"Will do. Good luck you three."

"See you soon!" I try turning around to call back to Dewey, but A… rough hand… holds me in place as I crane my neck back.

"I wish I had carried the human like this Undyne. They… I would have avoided… the Canine Unit Fiasco."

Paps… on the verge of tears. "I wish I was as careful as you—"

A smacking sound, and a "gneh!" from Paps. "Me? Careful? Don't be silly. Just wait and see."

Undyne's voice, close to my ear. "We'll be home in fifteen minutes, if we keep going like this. I've… never done this before."

"Ehh. It's okay."

"In the meantime," Papyrus seems closer to his usual energetic self, "I can tell you about the human's Pokémon Trading Card Game escapades with her questionable-save-one human guy friends!"

I jerk in Undyne's grasp. "Wait whaaaat! That's awesome! You must tell me how you vanquished your enemies!"

"{[Uh…]}"

Chapter Text

22

"Here we are human."

Bony hands on my shoulders… and… a tingly, tugging sensation on my legs… as Undyne stops walking.

[Paps is making us float…]

"I have the—" Papyrus begins to say.

"Wait! I've got it!" Undyne interrupts him.

I eventually end up on my feet again, as a door near by creaks open. "I've already cleaned up. So nothing's left on the floor for you to trip on."

Undyne takes my arm… very tightly… and leads me inside, closing the door behind us. "Don't worry while you're here. I'll take care of whatever you need."

"Wait… Papyrus?”

“Yes human?”

{How do I even ask…?}

“How am I wearing shoes?"

[I’m confused…]

{Same.}

"We put them on you before we left. Thankfully Toriel gave you a couple pairs. I remembered you never had time to put them back on before the…

“The bad time…"

"Oh yeah… 'cause like… I fell unconscious yesterday without shoes on…"

I try turning to Undyne. "Hey speaking of which should I take my shoes off—"

"No! Just… sit down. I'll take care of it." She rushes over me.

{[Uh…]}

Undyne walks me forward a little. "There's a chair in front of you. I'll put your shoes somewhere where you won't trip on them."

"Sure…?"

I haven’t even finished taking them off when slightly scaly hands brush my feet. “OH GOOOOOD—!”

Then… some stuff hitting… something…

{Huh?}

[She… threw your shoes on a shelf… a really tall shelf.]

{Oh.}

I stand up, hands out, about to try to walk around a bit, when the same pair of slightly scaly hands presses down on my shoulders. Hard. "Hey! What did I just say!? I told you: I'd take care of everything!"

"I know."

I'm trying to get over the fact that Undyne sounds like she's angry, when… she… shouldn't, feel angry…

"I know but Paps said we'd come here and I don't know how long we'll be here so I need to know how to—"

"But at least LET ME HELP YOU!!!"

"Uh… sure…?" I hurriedly agree. "Can you like, show me around so I know where everything is?" I ask her.

"But you're my guest. I don't want to—"

"Undyne? Pauline's right. If she's going to be in your company, she should at least be able to walk around without bumping into too many things. She did this at my house."

"Ngahhhh."

A… somehow aggressive sigh. "Fine. But if you stub your toe on just one table leg—"

A whooshing noise and rush of air past my face.

"--I'll make sure it pays for its insolence!"

[Come on… what's so funny?]

{She referenced Xenoblade!}

Chara takes control of my body, and I begin walking around, two sets of clanking footsteps following close behind. I brush my hands against the edge of a table as I walk past it. "The Royal Guard and I strategize while sitting around that table!"

"Hmm."

"Her collection of Pokémon cards is also under that table!" Papyrus pipes up. “They’re in a box half as tall as you! Which I guess, when you put it that way, isn’t saying much—”

[That’s right—]

{I know I know!}

"Whaaat!?"

"Exactly! I hope that I can test my skill against you! Because you have been a trainer for years, according to Papyrus."

"I mean like… I've played the Pokémon TCG since… fifth grade…? but started I doing it seriously in eighth grade…"

Undyne’s hands on my shoulders again: "Wait stop walking! My piano's there--"

"You have a piano?"

"Yes."

[You want me to get you over there?]

{Yeees!}

[okay. The piano's in the corner, next to the…]

Chara trails off. [Big Masamune replica—]

{Whaaat!?}

[Remember? Sans said he gave the larger Masamune to her.]

{I still can't believe Sans made all that stuff… it's like, kinda creepy…}

[He packed it with him--]

{Whaaat!?}

[Yeah. He carried it down to his basement behind him with blue magic yesterday. So… I guess he wanted to bring it with him.]

{[Lovely.]}

"Human?" the two Royal Guards ask in unison.

"You play piano punk?"

"Yeah."

I eventually find the piano bench… and proceed to struggle sitting on it since it's too tall… "And I used to play flute. And I sing. And write rap. And produce music. Well more like mashing songs together since I haven't found a thingy that'll let me make rap beats—"

"Oh! You should have told us sooner! Because Napstablooke also does—"

"Wait THAT guy?"

"Ghost is more like it."

Papyrus walks a little closer. "He's well-known around the Underground for making remixes of human music, and composing quite a bit of our original music."

"Duuuuude nice! But like, Undyne you play piano?"

"Yes. I took it up as a less… aggressive… hobby, several years ago."

"What music do you play?" I ask Undyne.

"Human war songs. They’re interesting. Songs from the, Civil War and the… Civil Rights Movement."

"Huh. You're in to that?"

"YES!"

Sudden passion from Undyne. "I have a picture of Malcom X on my wall, right next to you. He… he's who I want to be like."

"But he was like… extremist--"

"I KNOW THAT!

“But he… he wanted to help his people make a life for themselves. Without help from anyone else!

“That's… that's what monsters should do! When we get free, we have to make our own way. That's what I've trained all my life for."

"Uh…"

I lift off the piano bench. "So you're saying I shouldn't follow Malcom X's example?" she growls in a much quieter… but much more threatening… voice, in my ear.

{Whoa sheeee's piiiiiissed…?}

[Not really… she doesn't look like it… I think…]

"Like uh… humans don't really like him—well some of them do but—" I stammer.

More loud passion and insistence from Undyne: "But why? He's awesome!"

"Gneh heh heh… oh no…"

Apprehension from Papyrus. [That's not normal…]

"Do you know what Malcom X did?" he asks.

"Uh… it's been forever since I thought about him… 'cause like, I only learned about him in junior year of high school…

"He like… wanted African American people to live separately from other people and crowdfund a shit ton of money so they could do that. But he like… was militant and stuff--"

"You think I don't know that?!"

Undyne, slightly hurt, but still passionate. "I know this! That's EXACTLY what I think monsters should do! When we go free, we have to stick together!

“We… we can't rely on humans for everything again. We already use so much of their technology and ideas.

“We… we have to prove we're good enough.

“Our values. Our reasoning. Our mastery of the world around us."

{Whoa Paps said that earlier!}

"Undyne…

“I… I didn’t think you’d tell Pauline all this so soon…

“And you haven’t talked about this with me in a long time." Papyrus stammers.

Another "Gneh!" like earlier. "Come on. I may not like puzzles, but that… that doesn't mean I don't think. Even about this kind of stuff. Gerson told me all this."

"Well, he is an honorary Inertia Society member," the skeleton muses. "He is one of the few older monsters who supports us."

"Exactly!"

A heavy arm across my shoulders. "Look I know you're thinking I'm gonna apologize for all this, but I won't. I can't. I've devoted my whole life to war. And it's gotten me really damned far. I have no reason to ditch it now."

"I mean like… people stay in stuff since it'd take too much effort to change everything, and like, sunk costs… sooo…"

{I know I’m probably fucked by saying this but it’s true…}

"I know."

A much quieter, heavy sigh from Undyne. "I've learned a lot about human politics, from Asgore. From your… Internet. I just… I just can't see us monsters doing things peacefully up there. Is it wrong that I want to defend our people from attack? Is it wrong I don't want our people getting run over like during the war?"

I don't answer.

"IS IT!?"

"I don't know! Like, I get you but you want to kill me!"

"Well what else can I do? We have six human souls. You're the seventh."

“Not yet—“

“No. You are.”

"I'm too young to die.

“I don't want to die.

“I haven't done everything I want to do. I'm… I'm only eighteen. I haven't started college. I still live at home with my parents—"

"Human?"

Papyrus, much quieter than normal. "Can you… do me a favor?"

"Yeah what is it?"

"Can you…

“You've been sitting here so long but…

“You got up on the piano bench but you still haven't gotten to—"

"PAPYRUS! WE'RE—"

"I KNOW UNDYNE!" he snaps. "I've just…

“I've heard this so much before."

He takes a shaky breath, and his voice cracks. "I… I have nothing good to say about this. This w-w-w-was… one th-th-th-th-thing our family c-c-c-c-couldn't ag-g-g-gree on. Ever. And this was one thing Gaster couldn't convince everyone else to agree on either."

He takes a breath. "And besides: the human doesn't even know about any of this yet. That is why I wanted to take her to Hotland.

“Because…"

His voice slowly becomes more impassioned. "If anyone can explain this to Pauline, it's Alphys!

“She was… is… the closest thing I have to Gaster now.

“E-e-e-even closer than S-s-s-sans."

A moment of silence.

"At least take me with you," Undyne slowly replies. "To prepare for peace, you must prepare for war, as you humans say. Alphys can do all that soft sciency stuff."

Another whooshing sound by my face. "You can't gloss over everything with science and CAD&CAD. We all grew up hearing war stories And playing war games, Papyrus.

“Even you.

“She can't know about one without knowing about the other.

“And besides: war and… extremism… is all I'm good at. Might as well put that to use."

"Human?"

[Oh God Paps sounds like he's about to cry oh God oh God oh God!]

{No no no no no…}

"I want you to play something… nice on piano. We—

“I… I need it."

[Oooh!]

{This is… unexpected…}

[What should we play?]

{Like… what do you play after…}

“What do you wanna hear?”

"Maybe something from Xenoblade." he suggests.

"Uh…"

"Can you play Engage the Enemy?" Undyne asks. "It's my favorite song from the whole soundtrack."

"Or," she contemplates, "SOMETHING BADASS!!"

"Okay."

{Almost all the music I know is badass battle themes!}

[That’s not bad.]

{I guess.}

I reach my hands over to the piano keys, slightly confused about the stickers on them. I press some keys, surprised how the piano sounds… in tune and clean. It even has the same wood… or plastic… smooth wood feel on the keys. I scoot closer to the edge of the piano bench, searching for the pedals. After a couple seconds, I take a breath and bang out the first chord, Papyrus "Gneh!"-ing when I do.

*A couple minutes of trying to replicate badass guitar chords on piano later…*

"YEEEAAAH!"

"I… didn't expect that."

Papyrus… sheepishly. "Okay."

"Your execution was sloppy but it sounded pretty good."

[Woooow Undyne critiquing us though…?]

"Yeah I know I only took piano in elementary school. I quit in sixth grade ‘cause school… honestly I don't think I learned much either."

"How long did you take lessons?"

"From… first grade… maybe before… until sixth grade…"

"I can retrain you if you want. I’ve taught plenty of monsters to play piano."

[Whoaaa…]

"Like… I really wanted to take piano lessons at school, just so I could play You will Know Our Names right. 'Cause it's like… hella badass."

"I KNOOOW RIIIIGHT!" Undyne fervently agrees.

Someone lifting me off the piano bench and setting me down in another chair. "But not as badass as THIIIIS!"

*Some attempts at trying not to sing along which utterly fail because Chara later…*

**Play the first English opening for the Pokémon anime here, if you want.**

"Duuude hell yeaaaaah!"

"Gneh! I wish I could play guitar, just so I could accompany you and Undyne. And we all know the Pokémon theme isn’t nearly as awesome without that guitar solo! Or the violin, because it is even more technically difficult than piano!"

"Come on you can get Alphys to print you one. I mean, she made me my piano."

"{[Whoaaa!]}"

"Yeah! She's really smart. She suggested I take up piano so I could play our favorite anime music together--"

"Duuude you watch anime!?"

"Yeah. And I play the Pokémon TCG with Alphys--"

"Wait duuuude! Like, what cards do you even have?"

Some clanking footsteps and a loud crashing noise. "I have lots of them. But… they're mostly just copies. I… I don't know how to preserve any that go down the waterfall but…"

[Oh maaaan she's happy right now…?]

{I mean I guessed as much…}

[Yeah true…]

"How old are your cards?"

"When did you play?" Undyne asks, much quieter now.

"Like… 2011 through 2013…? and a little bit of 2010. But I know about cards starting from Diamond and Pearl… so... 2007…?"

"I have copies from then!"

"Sweeet!"

"You can have some if you want."

"But Undyne, she can't read them. She would need them brailled—“

"Oh that! You mean stabbing holes in the paper?"

"Uh… yes and no…?"

[Hey I'd call it that too…]

"Um… how about we sort out what cards you want and then go see Alphys--"

"Wait wait wait! Maybe… Toriel gave me..."

I touch the front pocket of my bag, and the slate-and-stylus appears in my hands. "We can use this to braille them."

"But that will take forever! And it would be exhausting, because you have to stab the paper hard enough so the stylus makes a legible hole!"

"I'll come with you to Alphys so I can help you braille them!" Undyne enthusiastically suggests.

"That works."

"How about we all sit at the battle table and sort through the cards? I can write down your decklist."

Some rummaging-around-in-a-bag noises. "And while Undyne reads you those cards, I can look into this, Magic, game you spoke of earlier."

"But like… I didn’t play it that much. I had a deck but like… I didn’t really learn how to play. I used Pokémon cards as proxiesAnd we all know the Pokémon theme isn’t nearly as awesome without that guitar solo!"

"I will find a way for you to play with the least amount of inconvenience!" Papyrus matches Undyne's enthusiasm as he walks over and leads me to the table. "Are either of you hungry? Because I packed spaghetti!"

"[Duuude!]"

"Ngahhhh! YES PLEASE!"

;*A couple hours of nerding out over Pokémon and Magic and Papyrus downloading a copy of the Magic: The Gathering rules to my phone later…*

"Have everything Undyne?" Paps calls out.

"Yes! I… I just have one more change of clothes to pack, then we can leave." Undyne shouts back from upstairs. "Is Pauline ready?"

"I'm ready. Just have to use the bathroom."

"Okay. Then we'll be off."

*A couple minutes of complaining that Undyne’s sink is too high later…*

I walk over to the bottom of the stairs and ask: "Where are we going?"

Some clanking sounds down the stairs, and Undyne's hand on my right arm. She slips it downward so her… scaly… fingers intertwine with mine. "We're going somewhere special.

“I… I know we could just take Shakur’s boat to get there but…"

After a couple minutes, we walk out the door, Papyrus in toe. "This is something you have to see—hear—smell—touch--"

"And maybe even taste!" Papyrus pipes up as we begin walking away from Undyne's house. "Because there are plenty of edible plants around there. Monsters use them in their cooking."

"Yeah you’re right.

“But more importantly?"

A… firmness… enters Undyne's voice. "I wanted to do my part in educating you about our people. Waterfall is a living, breathing museum for monsters. The ones who remember living on the surface live there. And Waterfall is where we…"

She takes a… shaky breath, which hitches in her throat. "Where we first recorded our history. Before we had computers. Radio. The printing press. There are carvings on the walls of the caves in Waterfall which tell our story. I run through there every day.

“To remind me of… of what I'm fighting for.

"Every monster walks through there early in their lives. If you're really serious about helping us, you have to…"

A strange combination of bitterness and zeal. "You're gonna have to do more than just enjoy Mettaton's TV show. You're gonna have to do more than just make a few friends. The only way you'll be able to help us is… is…

“You HAVE to become one of us.

“After all: just by adopting your culture most of us have become human. Even I have, and I don’t even like much about you guys.

“We will only accept you once you give up your human ways, just as my kind have given up theirs.”

Undyne lets go of my right arm.

A whooshing sound.

Undyne shoves a long, thin object between my outstretched hands.

Then, she pushes my hands upward until my fingertips brush a… sharp point.

I’m holding a… magic spear, which jerks as she grabs hold of it.

Undyne adjusts the spear in our collective grip so the point presses against my left arm, just below the elbow.

Papyrus and Chara gasp.

I tense up, expecting great pain.

Instead, I only sense a momentary, sharp prick, and the slightest breaking of skin.

Somehow, I let her hurt me.

Undyne wraps the fingers of my right hand around her left wrist, and arranges the fingers of my left hand on and around the spear, as if I was holding my cane.

At my eye level, decisively: “I know everyone’s gonna think I’m crazy for saying this.

“I don’t care if I am.

“I stand by what I said: you HAVE to become like us, as we have become like you.

“I will accept nothing less."

Chapter Text

23

It doesn't take long for us to arrive in Waterfall. We’ve been there only a few seconds before… something cold… drips on my head. "Is it raining?" I ask no one in particular.

[No… it's just wet… we're underground there's no rain—come on I’d think you’d know this!]

{Okay fine Jesus—}

"No human. Water is just continually dripping from the ceiling."

As I walk between Undyne and Papyrus, holding one of their hands in each of mine, he continues, voice slightly muffled, "I texted Sans and told him we'd be taking the long way to Hotland. He said he'd check up on us soon."

A short, uncertain gneh heh heh. "In the meantime I sent him the rules for Pokémon and Magic: The Gathering. He said it'd be fun for all of us to learn to play and make decks while the Undernet is being repaired."

"The Undernet's still down?" I'm surprised.

"No. Alphys just thought it may go down soon. When monsters find out you've decided to live in Hotland well… Mettaton will be very conflicted."

“Why?”

“Because he will have to choose between covering you in the credible journalist way or the tabloid journalist way…”

“{[Oh…]}”

"Good to know Alph is keeping out for you.

“Tell Sans we'll be AFK for a while. It's… it's only fair we have our phones off for this. ‘cause we’re basically in a museum. And even I know it’s rude to use your phone in a museum."

"Of course!"

iPhone-ish tapping noises from near by, and Papyrus speaking as he types. “Sans! It is I, Papyrus W. D! Gaster. We have just arrived in Waterfall. We are—“

"No need for that."

"{[SHIT!]}"

[Woooow even Undyne freaked out!]

An… impossible whistle from Chara. [I didn’t even think that was possible.]

"BY TESLA!"

{Heh?}

[Uh… Paps is like, freaking out too some more.]

"Oh come on: I said I'd be checkin' up on you guys soon didn't I?"

"SAAAAANS!" we all retort in unison.

[Awww you're even freaking out together!]

{Like you're not?!}

"Of course."

Undyne… hurriedly apologizes. "We're… just on our way through Waterfall. Tell Alphys it might take a few hours."

"She already knows. Me and Dewey were gonna ask ya to bring Pauline here anyway." is Sans' casual reply.

"But it’s good you’re doin’ it now. I'm goin' to Grillby's to Update the rest of the Crew—"

"Ugh."

"What?"

“Don’t say that!”

“Why?”

"You're too old for that!"

"Heh heh heh heh heh. Really? Ya think so?"

He’s… more amused than offended.

"Yes!" I can't help but say. “No one says that! It’s like when old people try to sound cool: It’s just soooo wrong!”

"Huh.”

[Oh no Sans what are you deeply thinking about?]

“Based on how I sound, how old do ya think I am?"

[Uh—serious question all of a sudden whaaat?]

"I don't know! And I don’t care! Just… too old!"

Another chuckle. "If ya say so…

“But seriously: anyone got anythin' ya wanna tell the others?"

Papyrus answers first: "That Pauline has… talked… to Undyne. And that Undyne has taken it upon herself to exhibit the more… historical and warlike… aspects of our culture."

Papyrus sighs. "Oh I hope everyone else isn’t too worried. Robin must be worried sick! Or hell—just sick!"

"Nah. Reed and Wrighte asked me to ask you. They wanna get some material for their next article. And…"

A humming in the air and the ground shaking under me slightly. [Nope nope nope nope nope!]

"They don't trust anyone else to relay info between us so… yeh: I'm doin' that now. I'll be goin' to Snowdin every day when everyone's on break."

The tingling sensation of Sans' hand on my shoulder. "Anythin' you wanna tell ‘em?"

"Uh…”

I compose myself for a moment. "Tell Robin," I say slowly, "to print out some blank Cards Against Humanity cards. 'Cause I have some… ideas…"

"And," Papyrus adds on, "tell Grillby he has my permission to serve my spaghetti in his restaurant. It will be a powerful symbol, to have our foods served side-by-side. It will ease the residents’ minds. Promote unity. And open up their culinary horizons!"

"Of course bro. See ya later. Good luck."

"Thank you." everyone replies in unison.

A brief instance of intense light shining in front of me. ThenSans disappears.

"There’s no time to waste." Undyne tugs me along. "We have to solve some puzzles to get through here. Paps, can you—"

"OF COURSE! I… I assumed you and the human would want some private time to yourselves anyway."

Undyne slows down. "Hear that? There's a waterfall up ahead. Rocks fall down it, so we have to walk under it at the right time."

Undyne laughs. "Me and Alph worked on the puzzles together. But I… don't like puzzles at all so I just plonked some rocks upstream instead. We’ll run under it in a couple seconds."

Papyrus, firmly from behind us: "On my mark…

“Okay go you two!" Papyrus eggs us on.

Undyne pulls me closer to her side, and we run under the water. It only lasts a second, and not that much water even drips onto my body. Papyrus splashes behind us. "Very good human.

“Now, after we go through the next room, there will be a Bridge Seed puzzle. This room we're walking through now has nothing in it.

But before I begin solving it, I'd think you'd want to know what I will be doing when we get there."

"Yeah sure."

Papyrus walks up beside me. "Well, the Bridge seeds are very large aquatic plants that thrive in magic-rich environments.”

He’s leaned down to talk in my ear. “When four of them line up in a specific manner, they sprout, and their roots attach to one another to form a single organism."

Squelching and splashing sounds as we walk across the room… and the rustling of grass nearby. "YO!"

{"What?"}

Footsteps rushing toward us. "Wow! By Tesla I c-c-can't b-b-b-believe I c-c-c-came at the r-r-r-right time!"

"Heh?"

"Hey I've never seen you around here before. What's up?"

"U-U-Undyne," they stammer. "I th-th-th-think you're so cool yo!"

A, delighted laugh, from Undyne and Paps. "Gneh! Of course she is! But, not as awesome as the human!"

Papyrus nudges me forward a little. "He's in front of you. I suppose you two can shake hands--"

"Or we can do this yo!"

Metal—no—plastic—both—fingers grab my wrists and turn my palms outward. I press them up against the monster’s own palms, noting how they feel similar to Mettaton. "I'm Will yo. And you're Pauline right?"

"Yeah—but how the hell do you know me?"

"My parents won't stop talking about you yo! They're hella excited about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

[He's like, holding a finger to his lips.]

"But also they're like," Will says more quietly, "not very happy. They're really mad at the Dreemurrites."

He laughs. "My dad called them some BAAAAAAD things."

"{[Tell me more.]}"

"he said what happens in the house stays in the house. So I can’t tell anyone. He said I…

“I might have a, “bad time”—"

We all shudder a little.

[Nope. We don’t have to bring that up again so soon.]

“And not ‘cause what he said is logically wrong.”

"I, almost want to know what your father said," Papyrus nervously fills the silence, "just so I can tell Sans later. And affirm whether it warrants a bad time but…

“Gneh heh. That wouldn't be very nice."

Undyne repositions my hand on her wrist again. "Hey Will you wanna come with?"

"Hell yeah! I mean, yes please yo!"

"Duuude!"

Water splashing against my shoes as the four of us walk along. "So your parents are hyped about me helping Paps?" I ask.

"I'm on the right side yo! I’m holding Undyne’s free hand!"

"Oh…"

"Sorry I didn’t tell you before. My mom said it makes us look bad if I don't describe stuff like that yo."

"And I would know." Papyrus agrees.

“Like this happens—happened—a lot at school. I’d like, talk to someone even after they walked away—“

“That sucks yo! They should do what I do! Tell you where they are! So you don’t talk to yourself like a crazy person!”

“{[True.]}”

“That’s an easy fix,” Undyne remarks as we step out of the water on to… less muddy ground. “Even I’d do that.”

"But anyway yeah: they’re really excited. When they're not talking about you, they won't shut up about this… “Gaster” guy!"

"Really!?" It's Paps' turn to be intrigued.

Papyrus stops walking. "We are at the beginning of the first Bridge Seed puzzle. I will hand you one Bridge Seed so you know what you will be walking on. They are, rather big actually, but light. Hold out your hands please."

A fat, rough, wrinkly, and slightly waterlogged bundle falls into my arms. "Hoooly shiiit it's huuuge!"

"They can get pretty long." Undyne sounds amused. "Papyrus will put them in the water so we can cross over."

A chuckle. "Well personally I'd jump it—I’ve done it before, but…"

[She's, like, looking at Paps's Gaster Blaster—]

{I forgot that's a thing.}

[Oh: it is… it's like, hovering at his shoulder and staring at her all creepylike.]

Chara and I make shared, internalized shuddering sounds.

Papyrus takes the Bridge Seed back and begins walking away, boots squelching as they sink and lift out of the mud. "I will drop four of them in at a time and create a bridge, four Bridge Seeds wide and…”

He pauses, calculating. “Ten Bridge Seeds long. When submerged in water, the Bridge Seeds expand and lengthen. They’ll also become firmer. They easily support Undyne's weight, so you have no need to worry."

"Thanks Paps."

While Papyrus constructs the bridge, I ask Will, "So like, your parents were talking about Gaster?"

"Yeah! They, really like him. At least I think so. They…"

Will pauses for a second. "They're really happy you're working with Papyrus. 'Cause they think Papyrus is really smart yo! They actually wish Gaster had been king, not Asgore yo!"

Undyne, indignantly: "What?"

"Way yo!"

Will seems… completely oblivious to Undyne's anger.

"They keep telling me Gaster was the smartest monster ever! And they think you and Sans are smart too. They want the Inertia Society to rule the Underground, because they know about humans yo."

"The puzzle is finished!" Papyrus announces. "Come along. The next room has an even larger Bridge Seed puzzle."

As Papyrus positions my right hand on his right wrist, he extends his arm out behind him to accommodate the narrow bridge seed bridge. Undyne stands behind me and wraps a… very buff… arm around my shoulders.

"So you're saying," Undyne asks Will, "that your parents want a Gasterocracy? A government ruled by the Gaster family, and not the Dreemurrs?"

"Yeah! 'Cause they think that Asgore isn't that…”

He trails off. “Human-smart yo." He eventually settles on.

A yelp. "Please Undyne don't hurt him he's only a kid!" Papyrus’ words rush out as we step off the Bridge Seeds onto solid ground.

Deep breaths and… angsty sighs.

“Paps I wasn’t gonna hurt him—by Tesla calm down.”

Undyne places my right hand on her arm again. "I… I want to agree with you Will. I have no reason not to.

“You’re right: Asgore… never fully understood why I wanted to know about human weapons. He knows it's for self-protection but… he’s never wrapped his head around the whole “Black Power but for monsters” thing.”

Undyne extending her arm behind her as we file through a narrower passageway. “But even so, if it weren't for him I wouldn't be here. I wouldn’t have this job.”

Her voice drips with nostalgia. “He trained me, you know.

"Years and years ago, I tried fighting him."

A fond laugh. "But he kept dodging my attacks! Even though he was strong enough to take them on the chin.

“But he… he said I was strong. So he started training me in magical combat. Alph had to help me learn about human military tactics though."

"We have reached the second Bridge Seed Puzzle! This one will take somewhat longer, but no worries! I, the Grrrreat—“

Papyrus stops in the middle of his… title…? "No.

“I, Papyrus Wingdings Gaster, shall ensure you safe passage!"

I thank him again. "You were saying Undyne?"

"I knocked him down for the very first time a few months ago. And I've been training with him for… hmmm… several years now.

"And it's not like I haven't tried talking about science with him. Science is awesome! Just look at the Mythbusters! They're my kind of guys!"

{["Duuuude I loooove theeeeem!"]}

"Oh man!" Will pipes up. "They're so cool! My parents have every episode on DVD yo! They wanna meet all of them, when we get on the surface yo!"

"REALLY!? I wanna talk to Jamie! ‘Cause I wanna learn to grow a beard as awesome as his!"

"Undyne…?"

Papyrus… uncertainly. "I don't think that's how human facial hair works—"

"At least I CAN grow facial hair!"

"[Ooooh!]" Will, Chara, and I respond to Undyne's burn.

[Paps better have burn heal!]

{Yep!}

"But that's not my point." Undyne continues. "I LOVE human science. But I also want to protect monsters from attack.

“And since human science can do that… why SHOULDN’T I use it!?"

Undyne, suddenly grabbing my hands, and positioning them in front of me… so they grasp one of her spears, planted in the muddy ground. "And if it means I have to take up a more modern weapon so I can protect everyone, so be it! I've already learned some magical combat techniques from Alphys's research. But I know that won't be enough."

"Human! The second puzzle is finished! Take my hand. We can walk side-by-side this time."

Undyne's spear… disappears from between my hands, even though I don’t feel anyone take it away. “Where’d it go?"

"It's magic. I mean, I'd think that was obvious but…" Undyne tries to explain what happened as she falls into place behind me. Paps and I begin walking on the Bridge Seeds.

When Papyrus next speaks, his voice seems… much closer, and comes directly in my ear. "The next room we call the Wishing Room. I will let Undyne describe this room to you because she passes through it every day.

“I n-n-never had a reason to c-c-c-come h-h-here m-c-much be-f-f-fore I met h-h-her so…"

{What's with Paps?}

[Feels.]

{Oh.}

When we step off the Bridge Seeds, I immediately notice a… faint sweet odor. Undyne walks up beside me and nudges my right arm slightly with her elbow, signaling me to hold onto her instead. We walk forward a few steps, then stop.

Undyne draws me closer to her and drops her voice. Her armor clinks as she leans in close to my ear. "This is the Wishing Room. There are colored stones and crystals in the ceiling. Monster children come here all the time to wish upon them. And when they say their wishes, the Echo Flowers repeat them back."

I gasp. “{Oooooh my Goooood… that’s like… soooo sad… and soooo deeeeep…}”

[Yeah.

[I… I still can’t believe all this is real.]

"The Echo Flowers," Papyrus huddles up to us, "are little flowers of many colors. They’re all around us. They can't grow outside Waterfall because they need high concentrations of magic to grow and thrive. They are also very sensitive to magic, from monsters and machines. That sensitivity is how they can repeat what is said to them.

This is also one of the few places in the Underground where our technology is strictly forbidden. The rest of Waterfall is under similar regulations. There are residents living here, but they cannot live within a certain radius of the Wishing Room. This is our attempt at environmental preservation."

"The Echo Flowers also smell pretty nice. They—"

Undyne pauses, then continues, "Well here—"

"Undyyyyne!"

"It's fine Paps. It's just one. And I’ll replant it later."

A… tickling on my nose… and Chara giggling. "Smell that?"

I take a deep sniff. "Yeah it's… sweet. But not too sweet."

"Echo Flowers are a delicacy, you know. Only the most important monsters can season their food with them, the supply is so highly-sought after," Papyrus whispers. "Even Asgore has limited access to them.

“I would know.

“Dadster, Sans, and I, we would cook with them, if we were lucky. According to most estimates they are more valuable than caviar."

"Wow…"

I continue sniffing the Echo Flower… then jerk it away from my face as I hear someone say “Wow…” faintly close to my ear.

An uncharacteristically light laugh from Undyne. "Come on don't be such a crybaby. We told you the Echo Flowers repeat back the last thing said to them."

"Oh yeah…" I sheepishly bring the Echo Flower back toward my face… and avoid making any unnecessary comments.

"I remember this place really well yo." Will says. "I come here all the time. I wished here just a few days ago."

In the same quiet voice, but slightly muffled, Undyne asks, "What'd you wish for?"

[She’s leaning down to talk to him.]

{Awww.}

"I wished for a good grade on my next science test."

"Eh! I did that in school too!"

Undyne nudges my arm, signaling me to hold onto her again, and she walks forward slowly. "When's your test?"

"In a week yo. It's on… basic magitry."

{"Heh?"}

A curious "Gneh.”, and a short pause.

“I suppose your confusion is entirely justified: the Inertia Society has yet to formally educate you regarding magitry, have they human?”

Papyrus sounding… different. Less loud, more composed, and… similar to how he sounded when he formally proposed our peaceful cooperation at Grillby's.

{[Paps sounding all smart and important again though…?]}

"Yeah." I bluntly reply.

"Will? How about I make you a deal? You come with us to Hotland, and I'll get Alphys to help you study for your test!" Undyne somewhat returns to her usual self.

[Duuude Will's face though!]

"You mean it!?"

Will yelps. [Dude stop hugging him so hard!]

"You bet I do! When we're finished with you, you'll kick that test's—"

"Undyyyyyyne!"

“{[Damn it Paps!]}”

"We're coming up to another room.”

Undyne lets go of me momentarily to take the echo flower from me. As I hear the scraping of dirt near my feet: “There's some writing on the walls in there. I'll read it to you when I’m done planting the Echo Flower.

“It’s… the reason why we brought you here."

Undyne stands, places my hand on her arm, and walks forward more quickly, the scent of the Echo Flowers soon fading away as we step into a…

{Why’s it smell like stone? And why does it like… smell clean?}

[‘Cause it is. The floor’s all clean. There’s stone carvings on the walls. There’s light-up crystals everywhere so everyone can see.]

To themselves: [I guess they still maintain it.]

"We're standing in front of the first panel. We're gonna walk to the edge of the dock. Just… hold on to me.

“You ready?" Undyne asks.

"Mm-hmm."

Undyne and I walk forward a couple more steps, but she suddenly stops. Chara and I each try moving my body, only to fail miserably.

A faint pressure on my spine. [Uh… why are we blue?]

{Why are you asking me?}

After a few seconds, Undyne begins to read.

"The War of Humans and Monsters…

"Though we have written countless tomes chronicling our suffering during the War, one mystery remains.

Why did the humans attack?”

I’m drawn in by Undyne’s uncharacteristically-soft, rhythmic voice. We walk a few steps over to the next panel. [Oh thank Tesla we're not—or nah we're blue again.]

"For it seemed as if they had nothing to fear."

We walk a few more steps, and Undyne continues.

"Humans are unbelievably strong.

“The power of nearly every monster soul combined… that would equal only One human soul.”

The weight of blue magic lifting from my soul momentarily as we walk a little farther down the dock, only for it to return again when we stop.

"But humans have one weakness.

“Ironically, it is the strength of their souls.

“Its power allows it to persist outside their bodies, even after death."

Another cycle of the blue magic fading away as our group walks along the dock, only for it to reappear again.

Undyne solemnly speaks once more.

"If a monster defeats a human, they can take its soul.

“A monster with a human soul…

“That would be a horrible beast… with unfathomable power."

Walking to the next panel. "Conversely, a human cannot take a monster's soul.

“For when a monster dies, its soul disappears.

“To take the soul of a living monster…

“That would take an unimaginable amount of power.”

We walk to the next panel.

"The power to take their souls… THIS is the power the humans feared."

We walk to the next panel.

"There is only one way a human could absorb a monster soul.

“They would have to absorb the soul of a Boss Monster.

“A monster whose soul is both significantly stronger than a normal monster…

“And NOT significantly weaker than a human.

“Such monsters are exceedingly rare.”

We walk to the next panel.

“A Boss Monster's soul is strong enough to persist after death… If only for a few moments."

Undyne raises her voice slightly as we arrive at the next panel.

"A human could absorb this soul.

“But this has never happened.

“And now it never will."

In an instant, the softness in undyne's voice fades away.

Bitterness.

Resentment.

Emotions and sensations I can’t even begin to describe fill my chest… and touch my soul.

She’s blaming me.

"The humans, afraid of our power, declared war on us.”

We move to the next panel.

“They attacked suddenly, and without mercy.”

We move to the next panel.

“In the end, it could hardly be called a “war”.”

By now, I assume that each statement is on a separate panel.

"The humans were too powerful, and us monsters too weak.

“We failed to take even a single human soul…

“And the humans turned countless monsters to dust.

"Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans.

“Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground.

“Anything can enter the Underground, but only beings with a powerful soul can leave.

"There is only one way to break the Barrier.

“By amassing enough power equal to SEVEN human souls.

"But this cursed place has no entrances or exits.

“There is no way a human could come here.

"We will remain trapped down here forever."

As we walk past this progression of panels, Undyne seizes my arm tightly. When she next speaks, I sense her breath in my ear and passion and… determination… flowing off of her. She sounds like how Papyrus sounded, when he told me he would enter the Royal Guard, even if it cost me my life.

"However… There is a prophecy.

“The Angel…

“The One Who Has Seen The Surface…

“They will return.

“And when They return…

“The Underground will go empty.”

I gasp softly. {Whoaaaa…}

We shift over to the next panel as Undyne—and Papyrus—and Will—recite in unison: “Only THEY can be the catalyst for change we desire.

“Only THEY can initialize the equal and opposite reaction we require.

“Only THEY can force open our prison and drive our kind’s mass acceleration toward progress."

My body seizes up in Undyne's grip as I fall to my knees. [Oh God why are we blue now!?]

They are no longer the same monsters as they were a few minutes ago.

They have all intoned these… PRAYERS… countless times before.

A harsh, strident chorus rings out as one: “ONLY THEY CAN BREAK OUR INERTIA.”

Chapter Text

24

I don’t know how long we continue walking after everyone denounces me.

In a strange way, I’m not surprised that everyone wants me dead. After all, Laura and Amy said so themselves back in Snowdin.

Just…

Hearing it from Papyrus is… disconcerting, to say the least, even after our conversation before our fight, where he essentially told me outright.

Hearing him call for my death in the same sophisticated voice he used when he proposed my cooperation with the Inertia Society only makes it worse.

{What the hell…?}

[… Why you confused?]

{*Sigh…* Everything.}

Just… Paps wants me dead!}

[How does this surprise you? He wanted to capture you before so—]

{*Sigh…*

[Like, he told me everyone told him he was supposed to capture humans when he was growing up but I didn’t really believe it.

[‘Cause if he really wanted to capture me he could have just done it.

{Or he could’ve just killed me…}

[I…]

Composure slowly emanates from them. [Look—you probly think Paps saying that and him being nice can’t happen at the same time but they are. And you said you’d kill him if you could.]

{I know but—}

[You really hate him THAT much, just ‘cause he wants to help the monsters live on the surface?]

{No! And you said at Toriel’s place doing what I have to to get what I want’s okay!}

[I said it isn’t bad—that’s not the same—you should know that!]

{So you want me to ignore what everyone—}

[No.] Chara interrupts firmly. [No I’m not.]

You think you guys are much better?

[John said in Crash Course U.S. History that America fought a lot to keep everyone safe. They were fighting communism and not monsters but still… communists were monsters to them.

[The monsters wanna be free. And you’re from America and you like to be free.

[So why’s it so bad they think this?]

{You have no fucking—!}

[Yes. I. Do.]

A chill runs down my spine. Chara suddenly seems… cold. Sharp. If everyone around me could hear how Chara sounded, they would have no idea we were friends.

They would have thought Chara wanted me dead.

[World War II. Korea. Vietnam. All those wars in the Middle East I get confused about and don’t wanna try properly identifying ‘cause you’ll get triggered ‘cause political correctness even though you dn’t know about them too—]

{I never—!}

[You’re remembering how everyone said it. And you try acting like it. But really…]

Chara’s creepy laugh. [You’re not.

[If you were, you wouldn’t have been mean to Toriel when she didn’t know about smartphones. And you wouldn’t have been surprised when Sans told you he goes underline a lot.

[You thought he was like her.]

{That’s not what being political correct means!}

Determination injected into every word: [I. DON’T. CARE.

[Political correctness is for humans. NOT monsters.

I agree with Undyne: you have to learn what monsters are REALLY like. ‘Cause they know what you guys are really like. It’s only fair.

[THEN you’ll learn about them the right way.]

A note of sadness in Chara’s mental voice. [And… I do… I did… so you need to too.]

I sigh, mentally and aloud.

“Human?”

Papyrus shifting in my grip so he is speaking in my ear. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“I know it’s not nothing.

“I… I can feel there’s something wrong.”

Quiet concern. “You… you seem sad. Why?”

Another sigh. {I have to tell him don’t I?}

[If you’re gonna help them you should tell them what’s wrong. ‘Cause it’ll bother everyone if you don’t.

[If you don’t I’ll make you.]

{Fine.}

I take a short breath. “It’s just… I didn’t think you’d say that. That thing on the walls. I thought you were taught to be nice to humans.”

“Not NICE. RESPECTFUL. But otherwise yes: you are right.

“Dadster taught me to respect humans as individuals.

“Just like how some monsters… only respect fellow monsters as individuals.”

“Oh.”

Papyrus’ wrist shakes between my fingers as we walk. “I… I always knew there was something, different, about what Sans, Dadster, and I said about humans, compared to everyone around us.

“Some monsters don’t want to learn about human science to… to win favor among humans. They want to use it to find ways to kill them, like Undyne wanted—wants—to do.

“And my father was frustrated by that. I could feel it—me and Sans both could.”

A strangely-placed laugh. “Gneh heh heh: and believe me: these monsters frustrated him all the time. And he was very clear what he thought of them.”

More subdued: “But even then… even before he…

“FELL DOWN…

“Even then… I listened to Asgore.

“I HATED IT!”

The first time I’ve ever heard Papyrus shout about… not me…

“But I… he was… I didn’t want to make him mad. Or worse, sad. He’s… he really is—“

Raw sobs shaking Papyrus’ bones. “I… always thought… a-a-always knew… what D-D-D-Dadster s-s-s-said and what A-A-A-Asgore said… they c-c-c-couldn’t be t-t-t-t-true all at once.

“That it was wrong—logically and morally—that I believed both at once…

“But…”

The shortest of pauses. In spite of myself, I can’t help but feel curious about what he will say next.

“I STILL DID—DO—BOTH! I STILL WANT HUMANS DEAD! I still THINK killing them will lead me to popularity and prestige.

“Even after Dadster told me to respect them…”

Papyrus stops walking and wrenches free of my hand. “I… I know you’re angry at me. Don’t hide it. If you want—

“NO!

“You have to tell me exactly how you feel.”

I stop walking as well. I didn’t expect him to react so… strongly. I hadn’t even said that much… and THIS is what came from it?

[Monsters are really empathetic. Remember? He’s just letting it all out.]

“You… you know what I’m doing is wrong. THAT’s why you’re angry. And sad.

“Isn’t it?”

With only a little force from Chara: “Yes.” I admit. “But that’s not all.

“I told you if it weren’t for Sans I wouldn’t have talked to you. I wouldn’t even have cared about you.

“I would have killed you. Somehow.

“You get why I think this.

“And I can’t tell you what you’re doing is wrong, ‘cause it’s not.

“’Cause humans do the same thing.”

“Gneh heh. I suppose.”

Resigned.

That is how Papyrus sounds.

[I never thought I’d see Paps like this. I’d say it’s not like him but… I guess it is now.]

A resigned {Yeah…}

“I don’t have the right to be around you. Not… not after—GNEH!”

“Papyrus.”

Undyne sounding… soothing… and slightly muffled, like talking into cloth. “You’re a good monster. You really are. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t have made you second-in-command of the Royal Guard!”

“But…” Papyrus sniffles a couple times before composing himself. “But… I’m not—”

“YOU ARE NOW!”

A clang. Unbearable scratching against Metal, and a couple startled “gnehs!” from Papyrus. {What just happened?}

“THERE! You’ve gotten one of your requests. I’m officially making you my second-in-command. So if I’m not there, you’ll represent the Royal Guard in matters of civil unrest and Dreemurrite business. If I’m not there, MONSTERS MUST ANSWER TO YOU!”

The air around us crackling and smelling of ozone. “And as a show of my support for your position, from now on, I will wear the Inertia Rune on my armor, in place of the Delta Rune. For contrary to its name, it doesn’t represent the change we all need.”

Several gasps, and not just from Papyrus. “Yo! But you—“ Will stammers.

“Do you REALLY think I’d leave Papyrus behind for the sake of politics?

“NO!

“HE’S MY FRIEND! He’s been my friend almost as long as I can remember! Hell—Gaster called me his second daughter he never had.

“If it weren’t for his and Alphys’s families growing up, I wouldn’t have given a damn about humans, AND their science. I would’ve ended up like those Woshua losers.

“MONSTERS SHOULDN’T BE LIKE THEM!”

Undyne wrapping me… and Papyrus… at least I think so because I hear some cracking sounds and smell… the faint scent of tomato sauce… close by… in a tight hug.

“Paps? Science made you who you are. You, Sans, and your whole family.

“And Pauline?

“The only reason you could go to school was because of science. Some nerds decided that adopting braille would help their fellow man. And someone else poured all that cash into developing JAWS and prototyping the white cane.

“Hell—there are humans trying to help humans like you see again!

“Just because I wield a spear doesn’t mean I’m just a soldier. I’m not just an expert in human and Dreemurrite military science.

“I’M A SOLDIER BECAUSE I FIGHT FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN!”

{[Whoaaa that was deeeep…]}

“Undyne?”

I’m not even sure how to describe Papyrus’ voice. It’s like he’s out of breath but… he’s a skeleton so…

{Uh… Chaaaraaa?}

[Yeah?]

{Do skeletons need to breathe?}

[… Uh…]

Confusion between us that can’t be conveyed in words.

“You’re… squishing us…”

“And where’s my hug yo!?” Will pipes up.

Undyne lets go of us.

“EDISONDAMN IT UNDYNE WHERE’S MY HUG!?”

“WILL! HOW DARE YOU MENTION HIM!”

Will squeals in delight… and pain…? “Oh man. That’s not even the biggest hug I could give you.”

Undyne’s excitement is infectious. “I’ll save that hug for after you kick that basic magitry test’s ass!”

More scraping of metal: she must be using her spear to carve the… the Inertia Rune… into her armor.

The scraping has barely stopped before Undyne shouts at us again: “COME ON! We’re almost to Hotland!”

She grabs my right arm and practically drags me along. My feet lift off the ground. “{[AAAAAAh!]}”

“Just a little more! Keep at it! Just down this wood ramp—and some more walking and—“

“Undyne! There she is! Wa ha ha.”

“{[Heh??]}”

We stop abruptly, Undyne setting me down firmly on my feet. “GERSON!

“I didn’t think you’d be working today old man.”

“Gneh! Gerson! It’s a… very pleasant surprise to run into you like this!”

[Oh maaaan if only you knew how hyped Paps was right nooow…?]

{Whyyyyy?}

“I couldn’t agree more Papyrus.

“And as for you Undyne? I’m not working! I was just about to head to MTT Resort for a party! But I just so happened to catch a snippet of you youngsters’ conversation and—”

A stereotypical old man laugh. “I couldn’t help but be intrigued. And I was wondering why the air around here was hummin’ so hot with magic!”

“And why you heard nails on a chalkboard.” I can’t help but snark.

“Mwa hah hah! Very true Pauline—very true.”

“Considering the sudden changes to Papyrus’s and Undyne’s armor, how could I pass up the chance to share my infinite wisdom with you!?”

{[“Eh!]}”

On my own: What?”

“Oh how could I forget? I guess this is what happens when you get as old as me! Wa ha ha! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was first.

“I’m Gerson. I used to be the Inertia Society’s Head Archeologist. But I retired long ago. I’ve decided to teach youngsters how to spot criminals! And when I’m not doing that—which is most of the time—I’m contemplating whether higher powers exist or not instead!”

“{Whoaaaaaa duuuude!}”

“I know you wouldn’t know this but, yes! You’re right! You have the right to look so shocked. Undyne didn’t believe I spent my time like that either, when she was a little urchin.”

A nostalgic sigh. “But I digress.”

A sudden, sharp decrease in Gerson’s shady old manliness: “Papyrus and Undyne used to have the Delta Rune on their armor. It is a winged circle, above three triangles forming a…

“Oh—Papyrus what is—“

“A trapezoid sir!” Papyrus eagerly supplies.

“Wa ha ha! I can’t math, as you young people call it—”

“{Duuude saaaame—“

“But yes, it is a trapezoid.

“When asked to explain its significance, most monsters usually say it represents the Dreemurr royal family. Or our kind as a whole, trapped underground. And that the circle represents the surface.”

“Huh. Why do they call it the Delta Rune?”

Gerson’s voice sounding closer than before. “Well, according to the Inertia Society, the delta symbol represents change in human—well, I suppose—math and science. Yours and ours.”

Melancholy that hits me like a punch to the gut. “And well, when the king and queen’s son was born, monsters were filled with hope. They thought his existence would change things.”

Gerson becomes scholarly again as quickly as his melancholy appeared. “But no one knows exactly when the Delta Rune came into common use. Let alone what it originally meant.”

{What the hell am I spposed to say to that!?

{Like yeah—it’s interesting—but it’s not just that.}

[Think about it then. He’s not going anywhere—he WANTS to talk to you! He looooves talking about this stuff!]

{Like duh—!}

[I know but still—just wanted to make sure…]

{He’s basically telling all this deep shit to a stranger—}

I finally say aloud: “I haven’t heard all this stuff before. This is kinda like all the symbols on American money—”

“Mwa hah hah! I would know! I learned symbology using your money!

“And if you think THAT’S complicated? It doesn’t hold fire magic to the new symbol on Papyrus’s and Undyne’s armor! I’ve seen it hundreds of times and I still forget what everything means!”

“Oh I know what it is yo!” Will’s excited. “My teacher just told us about it last week! It’s a free body diagram!”

He hesitates. “Well, it’s stylized, but still—”

“{Ugh—}”

“So you know what they are yo!”

“Yeah…

“Just, physics flashbacks… ugh…”

I shudder, internally and externally.

“Don’t worry yo! This one’s easy to understand!

“It’s a square with an arrow coming out of the bottom side. That arrow’s pointing down. And there are two arrows pointing out of the top, with horizontal lines going through them.

“The forces pulling the box upward are greater than the force pulling it down! And the two top forces are reactions to the force pulling the box down. That’s what the… hashmarks… mean.”

He stops to catch his breath. “Hey Papyrus did I say that right?”

“Yes! Exactly! Good job Will.”

“But like… aren’t the arrows labeled with the force magnitude too?” I uncertainly respond.

“Yeah! That’s why it’s a stylized free body diagram yo! ‘Cause the magnitude of the forces aren’t labeled!

“My teacher told me the two arrows on the top represent two forces: the Inertia Society and the rest of the Underground. The box is our civilization! And our hard work is generating the net force necessary to get us back to the surface.”

“But what are the hashmarks—I never learned about that.”

“That means the Inertia Society and the rest of the Underground are forces reacting to the force of humanity holding us down!”

It takes me only a moment to appreciate the symbolism… and the nerdiness. “{[Whoa thaaaaat’s deeeeeep…!]}”

“And the arrow pointing down is the force holding you guys down.” I clarify. “Usually, arrows pointing down like that are gravity but…”

“Exactly yo! You’re smart yo! And you keep saying you don’t like science yo!”

“No I like it—it’s just that Physics Honors was hell…”

“In a way the magnitude’s labeled yo. The force acting downward’s a really short arrow. The other two arrows are longer yo!”

“I guess that works…?”

“But yeah! It’s not that complicated. Gerson learned it! And he grew up before Newton was even born yo!”

“{Duuuuude!}”

“Wa ha ha! Will’s right. And thank you for making me more STEM-smart than I really am!”

“I got you yo!”

“But now that you know all that, I won’t keep you any longer. You deserve to learn all this the right way.

“Now you have lots to talk about with Alphys. For such a young whippersnapper she’s one smart cookie. She spouted facts all the time back in the day. You’ll make her happy.”

Thick nostalgia, like Undyne, on the way to the Wishing Room. “Telling Alphys you learned all this will help her remember everything. Talking about the Inertia Rune has damn well helped me do that.”

Gerson… seems to be talking to the sky—

Well… not the sky…

“Monsters being so knowledgeable like this sure made Gaster proud. I think it’d be best if I tell you what the Inertia Rune meant to him, in his own words.”

Gerson, in a reverent, practiced voice: “The Inertia Rune succinctly captures the Inertia Society’s purpose: to prove that our members, alongside the entirety of the Underground, have the capacity to generate the net force necessary to overcome the humans’ intentions to imprison us.

“And to generate this net force we will utilize which methods?

“Our values. Our reasoning. Our mastery of the world around us.

“Via rigorous application of these methods, we shall prove to humanity that we are not only their intellectual equal, but their absolute equal.”

Gerson sighs. “I wish you could see how happy I am.”

He’s stopped talking to the nonexistent sky. “I’m surprised I still remember that speech.

“And I’m simply giddy that I had the honor of telling it to a human!”

“{Nice!}”

{That’s… that’s what Gaster sounded like?}

[Yeah.

[He sounded EXACTLY like that.]

“I… I am too.”

A faint whisper that I barely manage to make out.

It’s Papyrus.

He sounds on the verge of tears… but not sad ones this time.

“My parents showed me that speech. They have copies posted all over the place in our house yo.”

“You guys really like Gaster huh?”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that. Admire is more like it.

“As long as I may have known him, Alphys, Sans, Papyrus, and Dewey are the only ones left who have the authority to talk about him at all. I’ll leave the details to them.”

Some rustling sounds from near my feet. “Well I should get going. The rest of the Freudians will get really damned mad if I don’t show up again.”

“Freudians?” I repeat.

{Oh God oh God oh God oh God!}

[Whyyyy?]

{Remember? Crash Course Psychology…?

{Freud was…

{Weeeeeird…}

[Oh.]

Chara suddenly talks faster. [Wait wait wait wait ewww by Oedepus oooooh noooo!]

{Dude how could you forget Freud—!}

[I know I know I heard his name before I watched that but I didn’t know… THAT!]

“They’re the psychologists of the Inertia Society, loosely speaking. They’re having a… group free association session… to deal with their repressed memories of their time working under Gaster.”

A wicked-sounding laugh. “But I just think they’re doing it to get drunk! Wa ha ha!”

“Duuuude—“

“Undyne? Papyrus? Take care of Pauline, will you?”

It sounds like Gerson’s turned away from me. “She’s the intended recipient for our research now. You need her in one piece when you introduce her to Alphys!”

Two pairs of hands seizing mine. “COME ON!”

{Whoa hooooly shiiit that was loooud!}

[Yeh!]

“Ngahhhh! We’ll carry you there it’ll be faster just hold on help me Papyrus!”

“OF COURSE! GNEH HEH HEH!!!”

As the two Royal Guard members position me lying down between them and begin running, Chara asks, [Does the thought of finding out what’s the fucking deal with Gaster fill you with determination? And don’t say you aren’t thinking that ‘cause I know it’s true.]

{Yeh!

“{[AAAAAAH SLOOOOOW DOOOOWN!]}”

*Several minutes of bumping along, praying we don’t fall down, and Will, Papyrus, and Undyne loudly and eagerly talking over me as we go later…*

“HUMAN! WE HAVE ARRIVED!”

An unexpectedly gentle process of letting me down on my own two feet… and Papyrus talking much louder than usual somehow.

{“JESUS!”}

“I knew you would find Hotland uncomfortable at first, and not just from the heat. Hotland contains the highest concentrations of magic in the entire Underground! To help you acclimate to this new environment, I stopped along the way to grab you several cups of water—well more like water induced with magic but…”

Papyrus nudges one of my hands with a cup, which I drain quickly. “Thanks Paps.” I gasp when I’m done.

“I’ll make sure Will gets inside safe,” Undyne explains, “and then I’ll help Paps debrief everyone.”

Undyne’s seriousness fades somewhat. “And besides: I want you to meet Alphys alone. I think you two nerds will get along reeeeally well.”

“I agree Undyne.

“Human! I’ve set the cups of water between your feet. COME ALONG WILL! My brother will be thrilled about your physics knowledge! And your parents’ support of the Inertia Society!”

“Hell yeah yo!”

“And your father’s uncensored and explicit opinions of those damned Dreemurrite fanatics!”

“I don’t think he’ll be happy about that—even if he agrees with them—but I’ll tell you guys about it—but only for science yo!”

Clunky footsteps rushing away from me, and an enthusiastic “GNEH HEH HEH!!!” fading into the distance.

When they’re out of earshot, I mutter, “Fucking hell it’s hot!”

[Dude: Asgore might be BAAAAD at naming stuff, but he’s not THAAAAT BAAAD at naming stuff…]

{Uh… what?}

I bend down and grope between my feet for the water.

Now that the Royal Guards are gone, I notice a faint hum all around me. It reminds me of walking somewhere quiet, and hearing the power lines over my head. Either that, or the whirr of my fridge or the rush of air from my heater at home, but all these sounds happen all at once.

It’s the hum of machinery.

The taste and smell of ozone also fills the air. Not as strongly as when Undyne used her magic earlier, but it’s still there.

There’s also a… more familiar sensation: a pressure on my body and soul, like when Sans used his magic—

More than that.

As I shift my feet to pick up a full cup of water, they feel… lighter. Like… I’m walking on air. Like… if I walked too hard, I’d start floating. Like how astronauts say how jumping on the moon feels like you’re flying.

It also seems like the air itself is agitated, and not just because of the slight breeze flowing past me. This… agitation… it makes my skin crawl, and I can’t help but continually run my fingers over my arms to make sure nothing is crawling on me. When I’m not doing that, I can’t help but pace back and forth, just to keep myself moving because…

Well, the air is moving too.

It’s moving with me.

Somehow, for some strange reason, these… habits… reactions… seem perfectly reasonable.

[Dude?]

{Yeah?}

[Don’t worry about Alphys—she’s pretty chill.

[Does the prospect of handling some awesome technology fill you with determination?]

“{Yeah duh.}”

Much slower footsteps, but toward me this time… and distant muttering?

**If the link doesn't work, skip to 3.5 minutes into the video, then listen to her until you can imagine her voice well enough.**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lrPZpVGLoC0#t=03m30s

“Oh. My. God. I d-d-didn’t expect her to s-s-show up s-s-s-so s-s-s-soon!”

Faster footsteps, and more urgent and slightly louder muttering. “I haven’t showered! I’m barely dressed! Literally the whole Lab’s all messy and—”

Several more seconds of footsteps, which soon stop a couple feet in front of me, followed by some… mutually-awkward silence.

**Loop until the end of the chapter.**

https://soundcloud.com/fredrikhathen/alphys-from-fallen-an-undertale-tribute

“H-h-hiya Pauline! I’m Dr. Alphys, King Asgore’s Royal Scientist.”

“Hi.”

“You m-m-may be wo-wo-wondering how I kn-kn-kn-know your n-n-name.”

“Ehh… a little…”

“That’s because… well… I’ve known it f-f-for a l-l-long t-t-time.

“Ever s-s-since you left the Ruins, I’ve b-b-been observing your journey on my security consoles. Your f-f-fights. Your f-f-friendships. Everything.”

“{Uh Whaaat—?}”

Alphys rushes through her words. “I’m s-s-s-so s-s-s-sorry ab-b-b-bout th-th-th-that. I d-d-did it because S-S-Sans wanted me to. He int-t-t-tended to help you g-g-get here as soon as p-p-p-possible. Th-th-th-there was n-n-no other w-w-way.”

Her voice breaks. “I h-h-hope you can forgive m-m-m-me.”

“Oh my God—Alphys it’s…

“It’s okay…” I try comforting her. “I—”

I stop as small hands and short fingers—

No—not fingers—claws—touch my hands at my sides. I touch them back. curious about what’s happening.

Alphys lifts up my hands and uses her claws to arrange my fingers so our palms press together.

“Like, I gave Sans my phone password and Google already knew everything about me back home soooo… ehh.

“I’d be mad but… what’s the point? At least you told me that to start off with…”

“I know. We guessed that’d b-b-be the only r-r-reason you wouldn’t b-b-stay mad at m-m-me for keeping t-t-tabs on you like that.

“Besides: watching someone on a screen really makes you route for them.”

Alphys has… stopped stuttering and sounds louder. “I know you know this. I’ve seen how much YouTube content you’ve been retweeting… well—“

A high-pitched, nervous laugh. “—reposting underline. And I realized this a long time ago, from watching anime and Let’s Plays—“

{“DUUUUDE YOUUUUU WAAAAATCH LEEEET’S PLAAAAYS?”}

“Y-y-yes.”

Alphys, taken aback. “I s-s-started watching LPs a few y-y-years ago. And I’ve also finished Ch-Ch-Ch-Chugga’s LP of Xenoblade so—”

“Duuuude!”

“Sorry. I know you wanna talk about this now but… I’m… um… I’m g-g-getting ahead of myself.

“Just… take m-m-my arm, ok-k-k-kay? We’ll be walking on some conveyor belts to get to the Lab and they move p-p-pretty fast. But don’t worry! It won’t take long to get there. I’ll t-t-take the empty c-c-cups.”

“Sure.”

[Oh man dude I just realized—you and Alphys are basically the same hight—you’re not so short after all!]

{Yaaaas!}

[She’s, like, Sans’ height—]

{But Sans is taller than me!}

[Yeah—that’s why I said basically!]

{CHAAARAAA!}

“Anyway,” Alphys says in my ear, “watch your step. And let me w-w-welcome you to Hotland.”

She pauses a moment before launching into her explanaition. “W-w-we use raised conveyor belts to get around here. Below us are the real streets. Well I g-g-g-guess you can’t c-c-c-call them streets because the conveyor b-b-belts are where the r-r-roads would be, and th-th-th-there are sidewalks or w-w-w-walkways on either side but… you g-g-g-get it right--?”

“Yeah I get it.”

“Good.

“And almost all the buildings have e-e-elevators in them. We’ve built everything u-u-upward, to s-s-save space.”

“I know people wanna do that in cities—”

[On the surface—]

“On the surface.” I add.

Alphys laughs a little. “yeah. And that’s just the half of it.”

We stop. “Well more like that’s just the infinitesimal but—Wait! I have to do something be-be-be-before we can…

“I n-n-need to scan…

“There!

“That’s good—you didn’t diffuse my field of knowing and my ethergraph.”

“{Heh?}”

“We use the patterns of magic emitting off of monsters to identify them. Like f-f-fingerprints or t-t-tongue prints for humans. We call them ethergraphs. That’s how I op-p-pened the door.”

A clicking sound, and I walk inside, only to stop after a couple steps. “Oooooooh my Goood there’s air conditioning!”

Alphys giggles, amused. “Yeah! We do this for the Snowdin Inertia Society members. We just cranked it up for you.”

We walk down a hallway, Chara giggling every time I feel the cool air brush my skin, and I make a relieved and hyped sound. “There’s a little ways more to walk in here. And we’ll have to t-t-take a longivator but—“

{“Hehh?”}

“It’s an elevator that moves longitudinally. It’s pronounced like the… first two syllables of longitude…

“That is, a-ss-ss-ssuming you s-s-say it like that…

“But anyway,”

A pause as we turn a corner.

“While we’re here, I had some, questions for you. Before you came, I researched human accessibility technology for the visually impaired and… I wanted to consult with you to make sure I’ve replicated it right.”

Alphys is… completely different now.

She’s businesslike and composed. She sounds like the smartest person on an anime or other cartoon: the one who uses their intelligence to solve problems and communicates with everyone else using… probably made-up sciency stuff…

“Like here: on the wall next to the elevator I just installed some 3D-printed signs.”

Alphys stops walking and takes my hands in hers, guiding them until I touch a… familiar, plastic surface.

{“HOOOOLY SHIIIT IIIT’S BRAIIIIILLED!”}

Exactly. Over the course of my research I learned that it’s the law in the United States that elevators have these. And that there are braille signs next to doors. Well there SHOULD be but… I saw some pictures of your college. I couldn’t find them next to every door—“

“Oh maaaaan my O&M instructor was sooooo pissed about that…?”

“I still haven’t finished labeling all the doors in here. That’s what Sans has been doing all day.”

“{[Duuuuuude!]}”

The elevator—longivator—dings, and the doors slide open, Alphys positioning my hand on her left arm again. “And, while watching you, and preparing for your arrival, it got me thinking.

“As quickly as Sans and Robin made accommodations for you, neither of them seriously applied science to your problems. And well… doing that… that’d be a priceless opportunity for me. For all of us in the Inertia Society.”

Stopping for a moment, the clicking of another door, and Alphys’ voice filling with undisguised eagerness. “I’ve been waiting my entire career for this! It’s… this is… this is what Gaster prepared us for.

“Not to help solve the Underground’s problems.

“No.

“He… he told us… demonstrating the extent of our accomplishments as a civilization would constitute the true test of our advancement as a civilization.”

As she speaks, I speak alongside her, and I’m only mildly surprised that I know what to say: “Our values. Our reasoning. Our mastery of the world around us.”

Alphys squeals in delight.

{[Jesus!]}

“You remember! You really remember! Oh man S-S-S-Sans and P-P-Papyrus and D-D-D-Dewey are gonna be sooo happy! You’re a-a-a-alr-r-r-r-ready getting it!”

“Yeah I guess I am. Everyone’s been saying it today so… ehh: it’s not like I’d forget…”

Alphys stops, and we turn to face the wall. “We’re at the main dining area. Well—the main dining area I use anyway. Everyone else is here. I have some food warmed up. After we eat, it’d be my and the Inertia Society’s honor to give you the grand tour.”

“Yeah sure. Thanks Alphys.”

A quick burst of ozone in my nostrils and on my tongue. A pressure down my spine and on my soul. The rapping of metal on wood?

A whoosh, a click, and a slab of metal gently bumping against my left arm as the door in front of us slides and swings open.

“Ya didn’t have to do that Alph. I undid the lock from the inside when I heard ya fangirl scream.”

“[SANS!]”

Bony hands on my shoulders and the pressure of blue magic on my body. “Hey kid. I’d ask ya how Waterfall went but… I heard what happened from Paps.

“All that can wait.

“How much did Alph tell ya?”

“You’re braaaailling the siiiigns!”

Laughter… and not just from Sans. “Yeh. It’s… actually not as bad as you might think. Not once we programmed the 3D printer to label the plaques.

“But ehh. Ya don’t have to care ‘bout how I made ‘em. Only that ya won’t confuse a radioactive isotope storage room for a non-radioactive isotope storage room.”

“{[Uh…]}”

Chara and I aren’t the only ones making cringy noises.

“SAAAAANS! Don’t joke about that yet! Only after the human’s toured the entire facility!” Papyrus shouts from inside.

“Cme on. I’ll find you a seat. I… we… have a lot to talk about. Papyrus told me you learned about the Delta and Inertia Runes?”

“Yeah we stopped on the way here.”

“If you can handle that I KNOW you’ll understand what I have lined up for you right now.”

Sudden confidence: “All the material I’ll be telling you has been designed so a human could ease into it as easily as possible.

“After all, the Inertia Society has prepared for this moment for…

“Hmmm…

“A century.

“At least, that’s my most conservative guess.”

Chapter Text

25

Alphys extends her arm out behind her as we walk. "The g-g-ground floor is what I'm most w-w-worried a-b-b-bout. At least on the other floors, everyone keeps things clean as for regulation but… here, not so much. And the h-h-h-a-a-allways are mostly identical, so if you m-m-miss the signs you'll get lost really easily. E-e-e-v-v-ven I d-d-do sometimes, when I'm not looking where I'm going."

"And you've yet to use a cane down here," Dewey's muffled response from behind us as Alphys stops, the click of a door following soon afterward. It swings open and… "{[Food!]}"

"Yeah. This is m-m-my room. Sometimes I have food Boxed to me when I d-d-don't feel like leaving."

"Alphys made the fridge a Dimensional Box so we wouldn't have to leave the room when we watch anime!" Undyne enthusiastically explains as Alphys guides me toward one of the walls.

"My b-b-bed is folded up right now, to maximize work space. B-b-but I won’t do that to the bed in your room bec-c-cause you have to orient yours-s-self to it. Well, this—"

"Hey Alph. There’s a crap load of fine magitry on your desk. Unless you wanna tell Pauline 'bout the clean room I’d think you’d wanna clear that off…"

"I kn-kn-kn-know Sans. It's j-j-j-j-just th-th-th-that, that's all scrap so it doesn’t matter if she touches it and… I'm just showing her the desk 'cause I p-p-p-put the same kind in her room, in the same place.

“Speaking of which…"

Alphys takes my hand and begins tracing the perimeter of the desk, stopping every so often to describe drawer and cabinet placements. I am about to begin feeling the desktop itself, but Papyrus tentatively speaks up from behind us, from in the doorway.

"Alphys? I know you have been preparing for the—Pauline's arrival for several days but… I have a suggestion to make. If you have not already connected her room to the Boxnet, at least make the receiver a tray, not just blank desk space. If she ever adopts your eating habits, this will contain any spills and…"

He pauses. {Paps sounding really nervous though…?}

[Yeah it's weird. He's, frowning, somehow. Which is weird ‘cause this is a good idea. Why would he —]

{I don’t know. He’s been… less crazy lately…}

"That's t-t-true. Good idea Paps!

“Pauline? While I g-g-go find a tray to put on your desk, Will, I'll show you to your room too."

"What! I have a room too yo?!"

"{[Jesus Will calm dooown!]}"

"Y-y-yeah. I c-c-called your parents. I asked if you c-c-could stay here so we could help you study. Actually—"

"SWEEEET YO!”

“When I called th-th-them and said you came with Pauline, they s-s-suggested it themselves.”

“This is like, the least suckish thing that’s happened to me before a test ever yo!”

"And Undyne? I've set up a room for you too. I c-c-can show you that as well."

"Let’s go then! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?"

" Sans? Paps? Dewey? You guys can show Pauline where her room is. And where all your rooms are in relation. 'Cause I'm…"

Eagerness pouring off Alphys in waves. "I'm proud we found a way to make it work. And also, Sans and Paps—you guys ar gonna have to remember—I mean re-remember—how to find your rooms. 'Cause,"

She laughs a little. "It's been a long time since you’ve been in them."

"Maybe you could work on collecting the materials necessary for CAD&CADing a cane for her in the meantime," Dewey suggests as he walks over to stand beside me at the desk.

"I've c-c-considered that though! But I c-c-c-couldn't find a good-enough design. They’re too flimsy and—!"

"Alphys." Dewey says more gently. "It's okay. If one breaks we can always make more. It’s not the end of the world if Pauline breaks a cane—“

“True—it’s happened lots of times at school.”

“And furthermore, making her a cane won’t be like publishing an academic paper, where she could reject it without any chance for us to remedy our mistakes. This is philanthropy."

"But d-d-d-dad—!"

{"Wait wait what!? DAD!?"}

"That’s true—I haven’t told you yet. Alphys is my daughter."

"Duuuude!" Will and I respond… in the exact same tone of voice… which amuses Chara, for some reason…

Dewey laughs. " I could’ve told you earlier, but it wasn’t relevant. What is relevant right now is that I teach you how to find your room. From here you just have to trail a couple hallways and you'll be fine."

Dewey's… claws… on my right hand, prompting me to take his left arm. "See you later Alphys."

"We'll m-m-meet back at the main dining area l-l-later. I'll t-t-text you any changes. And bef-f-f-fore you ask Sans gave me your number."

"Ehh —that doesn't surprise me."

The door clicking shut, and Sans, Papyrus, Dewey and I walk one way down the hall, while Alphys, Undyne, and will go the opposite direction."

*a while of inwardly being scared of running into stuff in my new room later…*

… … "So kid. To summarize: if you're standin' here on the long side of the bed, the door's where?"

"Uh… two-ish o'clock?"

"And if you were standin’ in front of the short side instead?"

"Uh… ugh."

Mentally struggling to rotate my perspective.

"It's uh… ten-ish, eleven-ish, o'clock…?"

"So, if I'm interpreting this right," Dewey walks around the perimeter of my room, closing cabinets, it sounds like, "walking in L-shaped paths is best for Orientation and Mobility?"

"Yeah. Straight lines and walking along the wall is just good overall. Open spaces are really hard. And also crowded places —well at least I think they’re hard."

"Can you come over here then so we can talk about that? The Dimensional Box is right next to the door —we haven’t put it on the desk yet. But we can put it where it belongs if you want. The desk is where Alphys put hers, in her room."

From the bed's position in the lower right hand corner of the room, I walk diagonally to the top left corner, toward Dewey's voice, where he puts a hand out to stop me. "Thing is, the Inertia Society's looking for information on your accommodations. So we're trying to train ourselves and everyone else in O&M, braille, and accessibility technology more generally.”

“Wait —so you’re teaching everyone braille?”

“We originally intended that me, Alphys, and Sans and Paps would be the only ones to learn it. This was when you first got to Snowdin. But once word got out that you were headed here monsters wouldn’t stop asking us for recommendations about research materials.”

“Yeh: ya could say everyone was… really feeling it?”

{[“Eh!”]}”

Sans sighs happily, from… his place on my bed… {[SAAAANS!]}

“It's strange. I've seen ya walk around without your cane a lot. Which is weird, 'cause visually-impaired people need ‘em almost all the time."

"I have dipped my head in the think tank regarding this dilemma as well—“

"Jesus!"

"Oh sorry human. I’ve been standing here by the Dimensional Box this entire time.”

“But like if I’m holding on to someone I don’t reaaaally need my cane —I use it still ‘cause I feel safer with it. And like also in high school, if I was walking down a hallway with no poles in the middle and there were no people I’d just run down it and use the cane when I got close to where I was going.”

"It is good you have brought up the subject of how you construct routes through locations. Ever since we arrived here, I have been contemplating how you solved the invisible electricity maze. It took me much longer than it should have to realize this: you used the same trailing technique as you did, back in Snowdin Town!

“Did I refer to the correct orientation and mobility technique? Because that is what my brother and I have learned, from the resources we’ve cobbled together from—“

"Yeah Paps you're right."

"Excellent! Then, having learned this terminology, I realized: if your room was located such that you would only have to trail the side of the hallway where your room's door is located to reach where you wished to go, that would improve your experience navigating the Lab immensely!"

I don’t have to think over his suggestion for long. "{[Yeah that’s true!]}"

"GNEH HEH HEH! I knew you would approve of it! I know this only solves half of your orientation and mobility problems, because not every facility we intend to take you two on a regular basis can be reached by trailing the same wall. But we’ll deal with that when we get there.”

"After Paps told me this we looked for a room on the same side of the hall as both of ours. So this one. To get to Paps' room, make sure when ya trail the wall, it’s on your right. And that it’s on your left if ya wwanna go to mine.

"It's good we found it.”

Sans, much more serious and quiet than he sounded a second ago.

“We really wanted to stay in our old rooms."

"Yes." Papyrus agrees equally softly. "Staying in our old rooms…

“It will help us remember.

“We did all we could to make sure your living arrangements accommodated the placements of our rooms: Sans Dewey and mine."

"Wait Dewey where are you staying?"

"I'm right across from you."

"{[[Eh duuuude!]}"

Dewey prompts me to take his arm. "Let's show you our rooms. Then we'll tour the ground floor for you as best we can. Then we'll let you get settled.

“It's been a… long day… so I wanna give you time to think over this."

"Yeah that makes sense."

*Around a half hour later…*

… "[Hey we can't kick each other in this bed!]"

{"Truuuuue—it’s wider than the one in Snowdin. And the one in Toriel’s house.”}

“Dude Chara like, what time is it?"

The blanket shuffling around on top of me for a couple moments. ["Too lazy to look at clock…"]

"There's a clock in here??"

["Yeah--"]

"But I—"

"I know you can't see it—it's for everyone else—"

“I know that—”

"But yeah I can tell you're tired. I'm not as tired but… I'll stay here ‘cause you’re sleeping."

I switch positions so instead of facing the right wall, I'm facing toward Chara. "Will you stay the whole time though?"

They scoot closer so our feet touch. ["Depends. It’ll be hard but… I'll try."]

A… lock of hair—brushes my ear, and I grunt in surprise.

["I'm so happy we're here,"] Chara whispers in my ear. ["There's soooo much everyone wants to show you. I don’t know if you know this but… all the monsters who saw you and the Skelebros, they were SOOOOOO happy.”

"I guess they would be."

“No —they didn’t just LOOK happy. They WERE happy… I could feel it in their magic. You probly didn’t feel it but…

"Look: by the time Alphys has showed you everything you'd think you were stupid for bitching about the Wifi.

"I don't know what to say other than…

“Are you determined to learn this stuff?"

{"Well when you put it like that yeah."}

Chara takes my hand under the blanket. "I think? Alphys told everyone not to use knock knock jokes to get you to open the door—‘cause that's Sans' thing—that’d probly confuse you."

I laugh. "True."

Chara squeezes my hand. I squeeze their hand back. ["Good night —Afternoon —whatever… you get it."]

"Night Chara."

*An indeterminate amount of time later…*

… … … "HEEEEEELL YEEEEAAAAH!!!"

We jerk awake. "{[AAAAAAAAAAAAH!]}"

"What the hell what—"

["I don’t know—I don't have eyes in the back of my head!"]

"That sounded close by—"

["Yeah…"]

Chara and I mutually groaning, scooting closer to each other because the air conditioning is too cold, and trying to fall back asleep again.

*another indeterminate amount of time later…*

… … … "Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring; banana phone—"

"{[Aaah *incoherent grunting noises* JESUS NOT AGAIN!]}"

{“What’s with all the loud noises!?”}

"Chara get my phone!"

Grumbling and the blanket falling off me. ["Must… reach… phone… without leaving bed…."]

"Duuuude I know right?"

Chara pressing my phone case right up against my nose. ["Here."]

I touch my finger to the screen to a spot below where the date and time are displayed, and my phone reads out: "Phone. Call from: Sans Wingdings Gaster. One minute ago."

“{[SAAAAANS!]}”

{[He made his own ringtone for when he calls me!? When —?”

[“Hell if I know—“]

As I double tap on the notification, Chara pokes my arm. [“I gotta go…”]

"Hello?"

"Heya. You have a nice nap? Or should I call it a half sleep? 'Cause Dewey's worried he scared ya."

"Oh! I heard someone shout hella loud earlier—"

"Yeh that was him."

"{[Wooooow…]}"

"What happened!?"

"Magic practice. And the newest edition of Undermail."

"[Huh.]"

"He wanted ya to be there when it gets read aloud with the rest of the Inertia Society tonight."

[Every time Sans laughs, quote Xenoblade.]

{But that'd be all the time—}

[I don’t care—JUUUUUST DOOOO IIIT!]

{Uh… looks like we don’t have a choice!}

"Well more like in a few minutes. 'Cause it's already nighttime—"

"[Whaaat]?"

"Yeh you've been sleepin’ for a while—we’ve been waitin’ for ya—"

"Oh my God…?"

{They're waiting on me.

{Everyone in this fucking place is waiting on me like I’m a fucking celebrity oh my God…?}

“Ehh it’s all good. Ya wanna come to my room? Or should I come over there? Then we can walk over.”

"Sure you can come."

"Be there in five."

"Yeah sure bye Sans."

"See ya soon kid."

The end-of-call dial tone plays.

[Let's go wash your face so we don't feel like complete crap…]

{Truuue—should I take off the pajama pants?}

[Nah—everyone'll be wearing casual clothes. Hell —some of them might be in pajama pants.]

{Thanks dude.}

*several minutes of walking with Sans and nearly running into supply carts later…*

… "So after walkin' down this hallway ya turn right. It's this first door."

"Sweet."

As we stop walking: "WHOA YOU WHACK PEOPLE IN THE LEGS TO GET THEM TO MOOOVE!?"

{"[HOLY CRAP!]"}

“If that’s true that’s sweet yo! Oh and it’s me Will yo!”

"You didn't answer my question!"

"Undyne Jesus!"

I try calming her down as I walk through the now-open door behind her. "But yeah why do you ask?"

"THAT'S AWESOME!"

"And painful."

Sans… seems both intrigued and disconcerted. “I mean, I read about it underline but… still. Wow. You must’ve been a real ankle-biter….”

A collective groan… and acknowledgment that he’s right…

"Only if you don't move out of the way like lots of people did back in high school…"

"Come on! You're sitting with me and Alphy and Will tonight!"

" Alphys said the whole Inertia Society was gonna be here."

"They're here yo. Just in rooms all the way down the hall yo. There's dining areas for all the different groups. And they’re sooo cool! The psychology one has a huuuuge portrait thingy of this guy with an awesome mustache—“

{[“Oh God no not the Freudians!”]}

“What!? What’s wrong with them yo? They’re hella nice—“

“No —not that! Just—”

“I wanted to eat with them but Alphys told me to eat here instead yo—“

“Uh Will?”

Sans… very uncertainly from beside me. “I’ll make this quick, ‘cause I’m not the one who should tell ya this but…”

Sans takes my hand off his elbow and leans forward. “The kid’s not sayin’ the Freudians are mean. I’ve spent lots of time with ‘em—they’re real nice.

It’s just… the kid must’ve learned this at some point. So ya have to know it too…

“That guy with the awesome mustache?

“That’s Freud.

“And Freud was a dick.

“If ya wanna know the details, ask Dewey. Or Gerson. But mostly Gerson.”

Cue Chara and I making shuddering noises. Undyne soon joins us.

A few seconds of awkward silence before Undyne clears her throat and grabs my left arm. “Ngahhhh—this psychology stuff’s weirding me out. Let’s get to our seats.”

She nearly tears my arm off my shoulder as she begins pulling me farther into the room—at least until she yells out in surprise, and we begin moving in a completely different direction.

{Whaaat's happening?}

[Nope nope nope—]

“This feels weird yo!”
Will… sounding like he’s trying to talk while being bumped up and down… He must have been dragged along too.

"Oh! I was just about to get you. Thank you for bringing Pauline over here brrrrother!!"

{"Paaaaaps?"}

We stop abruptly, Undyne nearly falling on top of me. Will grabs onto my shoulder for support. "You are correct!"

A chair being pushed against my outstretched hands. I pull it out and sit down. "No problem bro."

{Wait whaaat?}

“My brother took you over here with his blue magic—I’m guessing because Undyne was planning on having you sit over there—“

[He’s pointing--]

{I know—}

[—at the table near the kitchen crammed up against the wall. He must have disapproved of it immensely for him not to give you prior warning that he’d take you here! Let alone that he’d use his blue magic to do it!”

“{[Yeeeeaaaah…]}”

Cue more mutual shuddering noises from Chara, Will, myself… and Undyne.

"And you even gave Pauline a seat close to the end of the table so she could get up more easily! Normally high-ranking Dreemmurrite officials would sit there but…"

A quick gneh heh heh. "But there aren’t any here today." he says more slyly.

Tomato sauce held close to my face?

"I, Papyrus Wingdings Gaster, am sitting on your right side!"

{Oh… so thaaaat’s where the tomato sauce is coming from…}

[Yeah.]

{…}

“And I’m across from Sans, so I’m sitting across from you, but one seat diagonally to the left yo! Us and Alphys are at the very left side of the table, in the last, five seats.”

"Uh… Pap-p-p-pyrus?"

Alphys, sitting directly across from me. "I th-th-think we should get d-d-down to reading the article now before we eat. Before we get too c-c-carried away."

"Of course Alphys! After all, we mustn't be careless."

"{[Oh my God you quoted Dunban! And you like, said it in a normal conversation!]}"

“Gneh heh heh! Of course! As of this current moment, forty-eight episodes into Chuggaaconroy’s Let’s Play, Dunban is my favorite character!”

Alphys rummaging around under her seat. "Pauline? I h-h-have a copy of Undermail here. I know I c-c-c-could’ve just sent you the l-l-link to it but… everyone e-e-else was doing th-th-this at dinner so… you r-r-ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay.

"Welcome the Waterworks: el-Shabaz Exhibits Our Prized Precinct—"

"{[Whoaaaa!]}"

A short "Wow." from Sans.

A whistle from farther down the table to my right, next to Alphys. "Did Shakur help make this headline? The alliteeration isn’t like Reed at all. It’s amazing."

"Dad? I d-d-don't kn-kn-know…"

Alphys turns a little to one side to reply. "But it w-w-wouldn't surprise me. But here’s the rest of the a-a-article.

"This afternoon, reports began trickling into our newsroom that Undyne el-Shabaz, Captain of the Royal Guard, had read the Plaque in Waterfall aloud to her to teach her about our history.”

"The Plaque?" I repeat.

"It's th-th-the wall with all the engravings on it, with the dock next to it."

"Oh…"

{For once the name isn’t lame.}

"Anyway," Alphys continues, "l-l-let's s-s-see what Wrighte said…

"Pauline respected Undyne and her position as Captain of the Royal Guard, at least,” one Woshua said. “She had the sense not to talk back to her, like she did Papyrus. She seemed very attentive."

An Aaron agreed. "I mean, I didn't really see much 'cause I was doing my daily flexing—"

"Heh?" I interrupt.

An awkward silence.

"It’s… complicated."

Sans trails off. "It's a species-specific thing."

"What is he—is he like, hella buff or something?"

"Yeh. Most of them are."

Alphys continues reading.

"--but yeah. She was much quieter this time around. If she'd been like that around Papyrus the first time she would've avoided lots of trouble."

"{Yeah he's, probly right.}"

"Anyway Undyne must have thought she was strong enough to handle it,” He continued. “To take her through Waterfall personally. She read the Plaque aloud to her. It looked like that was the first time Pauline saw us flexing our collective cultural muscles--"

“{[Eh!]}”

"Heh heh heh heh—"

"SAAANS!"

"What bro? That was pretty great."

"True." Dewey affirms.

"What I don't understand is why Undyne didn’t have her kneel down at each panel and not just the last one,” one Moldsmall said. “That's what you're supposed to do. It would have helped her become more intimate with our culture than just, walking by them, if you know what I mean."

“{Uh… that doesn’t sound right…}”

"It's not supposed to be like that,” one Moldbyg said. “Separation of church and state, you know? And Pauline still seemed pretty scared of Undyne. But as long as Sans approves of it, I guess it could be worse."

"When the Undermail staff began receiving word of Undyne’s meeting with Pauline, we attempted to contact her, Papyrus, or Alphys for an interview. Instead, Sans responded to our request for information by inviting us to the Inertia Society headquarters. He issued the following statement on the matter.

"I respect the kid for doin' this,” Sans said. “I mean, relative to the post-industrial nation she comes from, our history probly seems real barbaric. (laughs)It didn't surprise me Pauline got it so quickly. And it shouldn’t surprise you guys either. This is living history we're talkin' 'bout, not like what she read in her high school textbooks.”

Sans continued by discussing Papyrus’s promotion to second-in-command of the Royal Guard.

"As for Undyne bestowing that title on my bro? I say good for her. But she better realize that in the Lab, Paps, Alphys and I outrank her. The Inertia Society’s purpose is to conduct independent research for the good of monsterkind. And she damn well believe I'm gonna enforce that."

Sans concluded his statement with a note to the press. "If ya want any info on the kid, ask me. Long as she's here, she's under our protection. And this ordinance isn't gonna change any time soon. It was one of the last things Dadster wrote in the United Theory Papers. We’re gonna respect that."

"And to emph-ph-ph-phasize this p-p-p-p-point,” Alphys begins stuttering again, “he pushed our chairs halfway across the r-r-r-room and up a-g-g-g-gainst one wall with us s-s-s--still in them. He apologized afterward. “And ya better remember this, you two.”

Wrighte and I left the p-p-p-premises soon after."

Sans guffaws. "Oh: they didn't just leave. Reed nearly tripped on his own feet runnin’ out the door."

Papyrus, in awe. His concern is palpable. "You scared them that badly!? Reed has nerves of steel! Even during the Fishbock Fiasco he wasn’t that scared!"

"THAT little thing?" Undyne scoffs from the head of the table to my left. "That was nothing! That wasn’t even a riot!"

"But y-y-y-yeah."

The woody and bitter smell of a newspaper being shut. "Th-th-this was what we w-w-wanted to sh-sh-show you. While y-y-you're here, you'll be safe. We'll all be."

"But that one Woshua was like, not as, intolerant, as the last one."

[Come on I know you wanted to say worse.]

{I know—but that dude surprised me.}

[Same.]

An affirming "Mm-hmm." from Sans. "They're polarized as a species. ‘Bout politics, I mean. They're either tree-huggers or reactionaries, if ya ask me."

Will begins giggling uncontrollably. “Hee he hee hee… my parents call them worse. They think Woshuas are like the worst parts of environmentalists and the worst parts of conservatives.”

“Oh?”

Dewey and Sans… sound interested… and Chara and I aren’t sure of what to think of that…

“I… almost wanna know what he thinks of ‘em but… heh heh heh. That wouldn’t be very nice.”

“Oh man!” Will doesn’t seemed perturbed at all. “When they find out about this they’ll tooootally want you to wreck that Aaron…?”

[Oh God oh God nope nope nope!]

{What?}

[Slight eye glow of doooom in both eyes!]

{Nope!}

“Trust me: if I could, I would. You’re just lucky he wasn’t any creepier. Sometimes they’re… misogynistic…“

The sound of a wine bottle being uncorked, the very slow, thick dripping of it being poured, and…. "Uh… guys?"

"Yes human?"

Papyrus seems… a little more than thankful that I found a way to divert the conversation…

"Why's it smell like ketchup in here?"

"Oh that? That's me."

"PAPYRUS!"

"{[Dewey?]}"

[And Undyne.]

{He sounds… indignant… and Undyne’s… never mind she’s the same.}

[Oooooh yeeeeeah he is. I never thought Dewey’d freak out like that over Sans drinking ketchup but—]

{Waaaait whaaat!?}

[Yeah…]

"Sans?"

Dewey leaning across the table, and adopting a… serious tone which I’m not even sure of whether to call fitting or not. "You never told her you drink ketchup?"

"She never asked—"

"Never asked!?"

{[Woooow heee's piiised…?]}

"Never asked!? She wouldn’t have had a reason to ask!"

"Wait wait wait hold up Dewey you can't be serious—"

"Oh. I AM!" he basically yells at me—Sans—both of us… "BY EDISON—"

"HOW DARE YOU MENTION—"

"Dewey. Paps. Hold on ya don’t have to swear —or mention Edison anymore. I got this."

My chair rotating counterclockwise so instead of facing Alphys, my knees bump the side of Sans's chair.

Sans takes my right hand, moving it toward his place at the table until I touch a… slightly sticky glass bottle… and the fingers—phalanges—of his left hand wrapped around the neck.

"{No way.}"

With my hand still on the bottle, Sans lifts it, tilting it toward him. {There’s NO WAY he’s actually gonna do it—}

With his right hand, he shifts my right hand so my fingers are… touching the lip of the ketchup bottle, a little of it trickling past my fingers, my palm pressed against his mandible by his metacarpals.

Only when Sans' teeth press against my fingers and the neck of the ketchup bottle do I believe it.

{[“OH GOD NO WHY!?]}”

“{FINE I BELIEVE YOU!!!}"

[BY TESLA PLEEEAAASE STOOOOP!]

I remove my finger's from Sans' mouth… unsure of whether to wipe them off or suck off the extra ketchup, because… {Chaaaraaa?}

[No you can’t lick it off—!]

{But why—he doesn’t have saliva—}

[I don’t care it’s wroooong!]

Alphys somehow breaks the silence. "Uh S-S-Sans? I d-d-don't think you had t-t-to—"

Plonking the bottle back on the table. "That's the point.

“What I just did? That's how ya DON’T elaborate on things ya say aloud."

I'm trying not to cringe… and laugh… because he’s right…

"{[We never speak of this again.]}"

"Oh: I’m gonna speak of this again.”

Sans being as out-of-place serious as Dewey. “The neurology guys wanted to know how ya process stimuli. So—"

"Son of a bitch—you weirded me out for science!?"

"As GLaDOS said: we do what we must, 'cause we can."

"What's next—are you gonna tell me Dewey's gotten Grillby to get him the bacon-flavored toothpaste and—"

"NO!" It's Dewey's turn to be indignant. "I mean I'm getting in to bacon but—"

"OH BY FARADAY'S LISP CAN WE NOT DIVERT AWAY FROM THE ISSUE AT HAND MORE THAN WE ALREADY HAVE!!??"

{Whoa Paps sounding all fancy again thooooough…?}

[No that was Dewey—]

{Heh?}

[I… don’t get how he sounds like fancy important Paps either…]

In an instant, I feel shame flooding off everyone in the room.

Dewey seems muffled, as if he's looking down, as he timidly says: "S-S-Sorry. I've just b-b-been so tense about e-e-e-everyth-th-th-thing ever since Pauline g-g-g-got here I… c-c-c-couldn't help it."

A woosh of air past my face, and a yelp from Dewey. "Come on it's okay you big nerd. That fancy voice thing was awesome! It sounded just like Papyrus did, when he was almost done telling Pauline about you guys back at Grillby’s. And besides: from what I hear, Alphy has big plans. Better get all that silliness out of your system now."

“Oh man! How’d you do that yo?” Will sounding… genuinely interested.

“I…” Dewey sitting in thought. “I… don’t know what you’re talking about I was just—“

“But you sounded all dignified and fancy and pissed off all at the same time yo!” Will insists.

[Dewey’s like, shaking his head really really really hard…]

“I… don’t get what you’re saying but…”

[Sans and Paps glanced at each other. I think they’re… worried…? Or scared? Or… excited?]

"Big plans?" I ask Alphys.

"Y-y-yeah.

“Here's the th-th-thing. What Dewey and the Gasters showed you to-d-d-day is only part of the Lab. They showed you the m-m-m-most frequently-used areas that everyone sh-sh-sh-shares."

Alphys' sounds… shaken. Breathing quickly and shallowly, she continues, "Tomorrow, I’m going to tell you a-b-b-bout my research. OUR research, actually. Me, and my dad, and Sans and Papyrus.

“What we've been d-d-d-doing over the past t-t-t-twenty years."

"But Alphys?" Dewey looking up suddenly and seeming apprehensive. "You don't mean—"

"I DO mean it." Alphys replies firmly. "I have to. I know Gaster would… he told me… this kind of research is one of—the most important—things of all to tell the human or humans we’d educate here. I—"

"But Alph."

Sans losing all traces of his joking self. "It's awfully technical stuff. The kid hasn't taken a college-level biology or chemistry or psychology or sociology or neurology or neuroscience or physics course—"

"I took a dual anatomy and physiology class in senior year of high school. I thiiiiink…? it used a college-level textbook…?"

Sans turns to me… I only know this because he stacks his hands on top of mine, and when he next speaks, he’s louder. "That's not the same. And it’s not nearly enough.

“Alph: at least let one of the Sperrites tell her how—"

"No Sans."

{[She didn't just—]}

Sans removes his hands from on top of mine.

"I need to do this. Me, and you, and Dewey, and Paps… we HAVE to be the ones to do it. We… we were the ones who researched it. I’d agree with you but…

“Pauline trusts us."

An uncertain, halting giggle from Alphys. "At least, she knows us the best. And I think as of right now, that's the most we could ask of her."

[Sans nodded his skull. So did Paps. And Dewey just… nodded.]

{Good to know.}

"I’ll trust your judgment on this. Ya lead our research team, after all."

Alphys takes a deep breath. Her claws brush the backs of my hands, manipulating them until our palms press together to perform the Inertia Society handshake.

Residual ketchup and all.

"Pauline?”

“Alphys?”

“Tomorrow, it would be an honor to give you a tour of the most sensitive facility in the Underground.

“I call it the True Lab.

“In the True Lab, the Gasters, my father, and I devoted our lives to researching the nature of magic.

“Through that research, we stumbled into world-shattering findings, in a subject that monsters have more impirical experience than in any human.”

The Curies and the Gasters speak in unison, with so much weight placed on every word that I’m afraid I’ll sink into the floor.

“THE NATURE OF THE SOUL.”

Chapter Text

26

The next morning—day—when we wake up… Chara and I scoot around in bed, a pillow between us, trying to find a pair of positions which would allow both of us to fall asleep, stay close to each other… AND not kick each other. As I move my arm, my fingers brush Chara's hair, splayed across the pillow.

They shift so they face me, their breath blowing against my face as they giggle. ["Why you playing with it?"]

They suddenly sound… strangely younger than usual.

I make an unsure sound. "It's short."

"It's not that short—shoulder-long at most."

Chara's arm emerges from the blanket, their hand touching my right shoulder. "Stop looping it around your fingers—do that with your own hair."

They push my hand, but not enough to motivate me to move it.

"Sorry."I mean, I just… I've been doing it since… I don't know when. Forever. It's a habit."

"How are you?"

" okay. Tired still but—"

"We went to bed before midnight for once!"

"I know but—"

"And it's like—"

Chara presumably glancing at the clock. "—seven o'clock. Or something. I was confused when I saw you awake."

"I told you I woke up at 6:30 in three out of four years of high school."

"But you aren't a morning person—"

"Oh." I grunt. "You have nooooo ideeeeeea. And it turns out teenagers don't function properly until the afternoon to begin with so…"

"Oh: I think I do. I share your body. So I'm like… really tired."

Chara readjusting the pillow separating us. "I'm scared."

Barely above a whisper, they lean in close to me.

"I…" I take a breath. "I just don't know what to think. On one hand, I wanna know how determination works but…

“Alphys—she… she was nervous. Even more than she usually is… at least I think, from the little time I've known her…"

"Yeah." Chara says shortly. "Just a bit."

"I mean this research is secret so… it makes sense."

Chara doesn't reply for a moment. "How about this? You seem awake enough. You wanna go tell Alphys you're ready?"

I groan. "But it's soooo early—"

"But you're awake—"

"Ugh… fine. I'll go wash my face and stuff and we'll see her after…”

Chara patting me on the shoulder as they disappear.

I slowly walk across the room, out the door, and down to the bathroom, the last door on my section of the hallway.

After washing my face, and contemplating how my life has changed so much that someone has successfully convinced me to wake up early with minimal fuss, I leave the bathroom, and someone calls out: "Hi it's Dewey."

"Hey."

He walks closer. "Sleep well?"

The verbal equivalent of a shrug.

"Yeah… the four of us stayed up late Me and Alphys and the Gasters."

He laughs a little. “Everyone's in the dining room. I know it's early and you're not a morning person but… the sooner we get done the longer you have to process it all."

"Uh… yeah."

“Good. You'll need all the time you can get. Just… Alphys said to change into… stirdier clothes. And bring your bag and phone and phone charger. Oh: and pillow."

"Okay…?"

"’Cause she doesn’t know how long we’ll be down there.”

“Okay…?”

“I'll wait in front of my room okay?"

"Yeah sure."

*A few minutes later*

Alphys' chair scraping against the floor, and her presumably standing from her seat. "Okay. L-l-let's go. The elevator to the True Lab isn't t-t-too f-f-far from h-h-h-here. Just… take my arm, ok-k-kay?"

"Sure."

"I told my parents what you told me, that I'm coming with you yo."

Will, sounding serious for the first time. "They're, kinda scared. But happy too yo."

"You're coming?" I'm, more than surprised.

"There's a reeeeeal damn good reason for that."

Sans… speaking from the corner? "Yeh: might seem kinda weird 'cause we told ya me Paps Alph and Dewey would be the only ones comin' but…"

[He shrugged.]

"—trust me: it'll make sense."

I stand from my seat, slinging my bag across my body. Alphys' claws press lightly on my right shoulder, and I slide my hand down her arm until it rests on her left elbow. As we exit the room and start walking through the hallways, I ask Alphys, "Where's Undyne?"

"Well, the th-th-thing is, she kn-kn-kn-knows this stuff already. Kinda. She, actual-ll-ll-y suggested she not go. 'Cause… this isn't her expertise. She told you about our… our inclination t-t-t-toward war. We'reWe're going to t-t-t-tell you about our aspirations t-t-t-toward science.

Our group turning right, walking a few dozen feet, then stopping. "Uh… g-g-guys? I d-d-don't th-th-th-think the elevator will accept my c-c-cr-cr-credentials if I'm with Pauline. One of you has to—" she sounds like she's turned around to address the group behind us.-"

"I can do it Alphys."

Papyrus walking forward a couple steps, bumping me slightly as he strides forward. [He's pressing his… hands… metacarpals…? to a panel, it’s metal and—whoa are those creepy animated hands???]

{I don't know! why—}

The creaking of elevator doors, and Alphys leading me inside until we stand against one wall.

[Does the prospect of fiiiinally learning about determination fill you with determination?]

{That's redundant.}

[I know that's why I said it that way—I thought you’d think it was funny.]

{Eh!}

[But does it?] Chara insists.

{Hell yeah.}

Probably—

No.

Cue the most solemn and agonizing elevator ride I've ever taken.

After a minute, I start as our descent jolts to a stop, the doors dinging open. Alphys walks me forward out the elevator doors and forward a couple steps.

**Loop until the next note.**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb8E8NQCErg

I immediately notice that the room seems… quiet.

Too quiet.

It smells like… like a library… or very very old classroom which has been in use for decades.

The stuffiness of stacks of papers and books, a tinge of metal, like my chemistry classrooms, and…

The numbness after portaling Dewey to the balcony of the Skelebros' house.

Enveloping my whole body and soul.

Something alien is here.

Several somethings… which are alien… are here.

Whatever research Alphys led down here… it involved everyone working with something powerful.

{Now I get why this place is secret…} If I had said this aloud, it would have been in a squeak.

[This is like the setup for a horror movie waiting to happen…]

{No duh!}

A few more moments of… of heavy silence.

"Well," Alphys' voice seems to melt into the walls, making her seem so much quieter than she should. "Here we are."

A short walk through the True Lab, strange smells, more numbness, tingling, and… even stranger noises accompanying it all. Eventually, Alphys stops walking, removing my hand from my arm and placing my palm on the back of a chair, indicating for me to sit. Everyone else follows suit.

"Okay." Alphys seems to be, reassuring herself. "I… I have a lot to tell you, all right? I'm going to start talking. I want you to tell me if you get it or not.

"And I want you to summarize what I've told you as best you can."

She says more gently, "And don't be afraid to be confused. This… this stuff is… I don't even know what to call it. It’s more than different to you. It’s completely outside your ordinary experience.

“And you guys?"

Her voice echoes slightly, as if she’s turned away from me.

Everyone else replies with a chorus of "Yes?"

"Don't be afraid to add anything. I had you guys come down here for a reason, after all."

I sense Alphys' breath—

No.

A current of magic blows across my face. "Just… try to follow along. Okay?"

From her seat across from me, Alphys presses her hands on top of mine.

"Yes." I tell her.

**Stop the music.**

She takes a breath, and in the same voice she used when asking me about the Lab's accessibility technology, she begins to speak. It only takes me a few seconds to realize why despite her querks, Asgore hired her as the Royal Scientist.

"First: I need some clarification regarding your knowledge of the Barrier. You know by now that it requires seven human souls to break it." she asks without actually doing so.

"Yeah."

[Yeah!?] Chara repeats. [Alphys is like, giving you the lecture of a lifetime, and you just say "Yeah!?!?]

{What else am I supposed to say!?}

[At least…]

A mental huff. [I don't know she's being all formal! Be that way. She's telling you about her life's work! She's showing secret stuff to a human she basically doesn't even know. You…]

A frustrated sigh. [I don't know treat her Like a… I don't know. Like how she should be treated. With respect. She's basically part of the government.]

Chara's right.

{I'll try.}

"And that one human soul is essentially as powerful as every monster soul combined."

I'm about to say "Yeah," when instead, I say, "Undyne told me when she read the Plaque to me."

{Chara?}

[I had to do it.]

{Fine.}

"When King Asgore appointed me to be the Royal Scientist, I devoted the first several weeks—or I guess first couple months—of my tenure to thinking about our problem. At the end of that period, I reasoned that we had to find out why human souls were so powerful. Then maybe, just maybe, we could grant monsters that power.

"So I issued a directive to everyone in the Inertia Society: to gather and catalogue every scientific, or sufficiently-detailed publication, about humans they could find. Books about biology, anatomy, physiology, psychology, everything.

“Some members even brought me… religious and mystical texts…" She adds on uncertainly.

"My thought process was that, if we could learn how humans perceived themselves, what they thought made them so strong, then maybe, we could induce that behavior in monsters."

She seems… nostalgic.

"Then my opportunity came.

“Well, it’d be more accurate to say that some monsters had told me my opportunity had come.

"One day, some Inertia Society members interrupted me in the middle of reading some psychology texts. They were urgent. They told me, 'Come upstairs! Now!' When I asked why, they rushed me to the elevator to the ground floor, to one of our multipurpose laboratories.

"When I got there, I saw there was a stretcher in the middle of the room.

“And on that stretcher was a human."

She sighs. "They were—

“No.

“He was a lot smaller than I thought he'd be. Until that point I had mostly studied human adults.

"Over the next hour or so, I was debriefed by residents of the Ruins.

"He had fallen down and had been trying to find the way out. He was only armed with a plastic knife, and had a light blue, woven ribbon around his left wrist.”

I’m about to interject, but Chara holds my mouth shut. {That ribbon—the one I put on my lanyard—what did it look like?}

[Like the one Alphys just talked about--]

{But how--!?}

Chara doesn’t answer for a while.

[I guess it was our determination making stuff for us. Like with the gold.]

"What intrigued me was what the residents told me about his fighting style. He never actually used the knife. Instead he tried talking down anyone he encountered. He dodged some bullets, but ,most of the time, he'd just move around a little or stand there, and…

“Light blue light would appear around him as he talked. And monsters would get hurt if they tried to move around in it. So it's not like he didn't try defending himself at all."

"Like Papyrus' bones?" I recall.

"Yes." Alphys seems relieved. "Exactly.

"His abilities were sufficient to deal with single monsters but… they weren't enough.

“He was accosted by several of them at once and…"

Her voice breaks, and she stops for a moment. "He… he couldn't stop them. The risk of taking damage didn't scare them. And he didn't even try using his knife.”

She doesn’t have to tell me the rest.

"After showing me the body, I wheeled it down here and used my newly-acquired knowledge to…"

She gulps. [She… looks like she's about to throw up. Or cry. Or both.]

"--to perform an autopsy. To, to dissect him. Magic had been used to preserve him so even soft tissues like the brain were completely in tact. Using our medical equipment and magic, I extracted the nervous and glandular tissues and other materials associated with sensory organs, as well as the spine and the brain. Essentially, I separated out these structures from the integumentary system, and nearly all muscle mass. Only the heart remained.

"I stored the components I chose to preserve in a magic-enhanced container. I hooked up, several dozen? Maybe more… electrodes and sensors of all kinds. Some instruments were mundane, like EEGs and heart rate monitors, but others? Not so much. Since I knew he had used magic, I placed some ethergraph equipment around him as well."

Dewey's claws brushing my wrists. He leans in close to me from his position on the left side of the table, and in a quiet, flat voice, he says, "You… don't seem all that shocked by this. I would've thought you'd be sick to your stomach."

"Ehh." I reply in the same flat voice. "I mean, I dissected a cat in senior year of high school. One group in our class had a pregnant cat so I got to feel the fetuses so—"

[Everyone's… kinda grossed out now…]

I continue talking: "I mean this stuff isn't new to me. I read about horror films a lot in high school and I got to touch a skeleton once 'cause there was one hanging in the corner of my physiology classroom so—"

A collective "WAAAAAIT WHAAAAT!?!?" from everyone.

"That," Sans contemplates from the right side of the table, "explains why you aren't thaaaat weirded out by me and Paps."

"Yeah…" I shift to the right slightly to face Sans, replying awkwardly.

I turn back to Alphys and ask, "But he was dead. Why were you collecting that data?"

"You’re right: he WAS dead. But only in the clinical sense. He wasn’t SOULOLOGICALLY dead, because we managed to prevent his soul from deteriorating.

“Using a specific combination of magical stimuli, I mimicked electromagnetic impulses in the human body. So I…

“I essentially hooked him up to life support.”

{Chara?

{You were right—NOOOOW this is freaking me out.}

“I watched his readouts the rest of the day, and had someone move a bed and Dimensional Box down here so I could study him more closely."

[Alphys like, put her hand on her chin like the stereotypical smart person pose.]

"At the end of that first day, I was about to leave for the night, excited about what I'd done, eager to tell everyone but…

"But the ethergraphy equipment went wild. The EEG did too. The center of the brain associated with fear… it lit up. If he had been corporial, he would have been generating stress hormones.

“When I walked back to check on the monitors, the measurements went down again. I made sure the readings were genuine, and that my instruments were recording these occurrences, then I began to leave again.

"But the heart rate monitor went crazy. Even though he couldn't breathe anymore, he was displaying all the physiological signs associated with stress he could make.

"I asked myself why this was happening… and at the sound of my voice, the EEG and other instruments calmed down. I asked the other scientists present for their input."

Alphys laughs lightly. "I didn't believe what they said. Not until I noticed that the human's soulological signs began reacting to what we were saying. When we laughed… when we were worried… when we yelled at each other… he seemed to react to our conversation.

“Everyone told me it was because he could hear me. Not with his ears, but with his soul.

“He knew I was leaving.

“And he… didn't think me rushing out of the room like that was a good idea.

"I was about to ask him if this was true, then I realized: I hadn't extracted his vocal cords so he couldn't speak.

“Then, Sans suggested something. And even to this day, I still can't believe it.

“You wanna tel her?”

“’Course.

"I said this.

“I'm gonna ask ya three yes-or-no questions.

“After I ask one, I’m gonna walk toward Alphys.

"If ya wanna answer yes to a question, turn the space around her blue. I’m gonna mark this space, a two-meter radius around her, with clear tape on the floor.’

"After ya answer each question I’m gonna exit that radius and wait three seconds. Then, I’ll ask ya the next question and approach Alphys again.”

Sans pauses a moment before continuing.

“’Course, I put down the clear tape b‘fore we started.

“First, I asked: can ya really understand us as well as if ya could still hear with your ears?

“I got halfway toward ‘er before that kid lit up the circle I marked out. Then I walked away and wwaited the three seconds.

“Next, I asked: Are ya truly concerned about Alphys’s current emotional state?

“I walked one foot inside the circle before he lit it up.”

Chara and I wait eagerly for Sans’s last question.

“The last question I asked was this.

"Are ya truly afraid of bein’ left alone tonight?”

A short, deep chuckle. “One step.

“That’s how far I got before he turned that circle blue.

“So that answered Alphys’s question.”

"Me, Sans, Paps, Dewey, and some other Inertia Society members moved our most essential belongings down here. I put my bed in the room next door. And we ran some lights from his room to mine. I told him to make them blink if he needed anything."

"You keep calling him he," Will points out what I was about to say. "What was his name yo?"

In a soft voice, Alphys whispers, "Simon.

"His name was Simon.”

We all sit in silence for a few moments. "Simon." Will and I repeat in hushed tones.

"He had been ten, almost eleven years old, when he had been killed in the Ruins.

“He had been interested in handiwork and crafts.

“The ribbon had been part of something he wanted to make. He'd been out on a walk, trying to think through his plan for the project the ribbon belonged to when… when he fell into the Underground…”

Dewey, in an equally-soft voice. "From then on the rest of Alphys’s team—which included me—ate breakfast in Simon's room. We put sensors on ourselves and light strips everywhere and told him to activate them if he wanted to talk to us or ask us things.

"We created a program which sent the magitronic impulses he created to certain sensors which would translate them into responses which could be shown on a monitor.

"We asked him questions about his life, before he appeared in the Underground.

“He answered.

“And when he asked us where he was, we showed him pictures and videos of the entire Underground.

“And when he finally got around to asking about the technology keeping him alive, we told him everything. It took several days, but he sat through it, frankly, better than I would have.

"After a few weeks, when we surmised that Simon was comfortable around us, I asked him a very important question:

“Why did you use those light blue attacks, when you had the plastic knife with you?

"Simon's answer chills me to this day.”

Dewey speaks each word slowly. “He said… wrote… answered, I didn’t think hurting any of you on sight would help me find the way out of the Ruins. I knew I had to wait for the perfect opportunity to escape each encounter. And I decided I'd wait as long as I had to. And I'd do anything I could to stall for time.

"But I wouldn't attack first. That'd be… wrong.

“I had to be… patient.”

"So he showed you guys mercy, even though he could’ve hurt you?" I summarize.

"Yes. Kind of…” Dewey answers. “Kind of like what you've been trying to do. Don't get me wrong—he still hurt some monsters but—”

I laugh harshly. "Emphasis on try. And at least he didn’t go so far as to tell Asgore to fuck himself…”

Papyrus picks up where Dewey left off. "We got to know Simon really well! We talked with him every day for… hmm…

“Two-and-a-half years?”

“{Jesus!}”

“We got to know everything about him. How the other students his age didn't understand why he liked sewing and working with cloth. How they teased him for being too quiet. He told us… he thought if he waited, it'd stop.”

“But it didn’t.”

No one confirms or denies this for me.

“He thought if he took his time, if he made something cool, they'd be impressed. That they'd understand—“

I cut off Papyrus mid-sentence: “But they never did.”

Again, no one answers.

We appended a sewing machine to his ethergraphy equipment so he could make us things. He had been in the middle of making Dewey an Inertia Rune vest when the second human fell into the Underground. This was approximately two-and-a-half-years after Simon appeared."

[Oh maaan Paps is hyyyyped…?!]

{Whyyyy?}

"She was the complete opposite of Simon,” Alphys says. “Tailor went down fighting. And she managed to get to Snowdin. Not far, but she did.

“By this time, I had installed cameras outside so I could observe the humans myself.”

"Heya Alph?"

"{Ahhh Jesus!}”

"Forget I was here kid?"

[Sans is… amused…]

{How can you tell?}

[He's like, smiling differentlike…]

{Okay…?}

[Trust me there's a difference. It's small but… there IS one.

[Oh and quote Xenoblade.]

{Whyyy?}

[Sans laughed—]

{Wait we’re seriously—}

[What do you think?]

{Uh… "I'm really feeling it!"}!

"You're gonna skip right to the nitty-gritty science stuff and totally ignore that awesome abs bandana she wore?

Alphys doesn’t answer…

“I’m guessin’ that’s a yes.

"Tailor was a feisty one. Tried punchin’ me in the face when she first saw me. She turned her fists and the space around her orange too. If I stood still near her it’d hurt me so… yeah: I had to keep my distance to talk her down."

Sans sighs. “Her wrecklessness cost her.

“She killed a couple monsters in self-defense but couldn't get through Doggo. It didn't help that he used Simon's light blue magic in his attacks, so she hurt herself whenever she tried movin’ toward him."

"Whoa…"…" Will and I respond in shocked tones.

Alphys' turn to talk. "This time we were prepared. Soon after Simon was killed, I had Asgore issue an order to everyone in the Underground, that anyone who found a human dead would use magic to preserve them. And if they didn’t have the expertise for that, they’d call up Royal Guard and Inertia Society members to do it, and that they’d accompany them here. We knew that unlike the physiological effects of death, the deterioration of a human soul takes several hours. So the preservation process wasn’t nearly as time-sensitive as you might think.

“So when she was brought in from Snowdin, I already had the surgical equipment, container, and sensors ready."

Alphys laughs. "Ooooooh maaaaan she was reeeeeally angry when the partial revival process was done. She kept firing orange bullets at us. And it took Simon basically breaking down into tears—"

She backtracks, "--well we only knew this because the parts of the brain associated with sadness were activated so… yeah. It it didn't literally happen but…

“It took THAT, and Sans and Papyrus saying her bandana was awesome for her to calm down.”

"I mean you guys are right yo." Will says matter-of-factly. "It's a bandana with abs on it! That's like, awesome yo! Just thinking about it’s making me feel buff!"

{"Duuuude.”} I interject. "{This is making me feel like a fucking whimp…}"

"But yeah: we had them stay together, and we set up more screens in front of their eyes—well their eyes and the related optical organs—hooked up to some magitronics. So they could communicate. And we had to get extra sensors for Tailor 'cause she kept overstimulating them, ‘cause her and Simon argued aaaaall the tiiiime."

"Actually,” Papyrus muses, "they resembled Sans and my interactions, when we argue. Except with no awful puns."

"At least,"," even I know Dewey's smiling, "not at first. Simon made his first brain pun a month after Tailor arrived."

Dewey guffaws. "And ooooh maaaan she was basically screaming for hours after that."

"What was she like? ?" I ask. "Was she like, a boxing fan or something?"

"Kind of. She said she liked martial arts. She had belts in several of them. But she never lasted very long in any of her classes 'cause she'd pick fights. And her teachers… reeeeeeally didn't like her talking back."

Alphys hurriedly adds, "Don't get me wrong—she was no jock and she wasn't stupid but… yeah: she was in to the don't think, feel thing.”

[Quote please?]

{Uh… "Yeah Shulk! Get stuck in!"}!

[Heh?]

{It's Reyn…}

[Oh.]

"She mellowed out though, when Paps started comin' down here as much as Alph did. They'd yell at each other aaaaall day."

"And she even kept it up when the third human fell down. And Steven didn't even mind. He yelled quite a bit as well!” Papyrus moves on to the next topic in the only way he knows how: by making a little more of my hearing go away.

The Inertia Society members chuckle.

"What was he like yo?" Will steals my question out of my mouth.

"He could use dark blue magic. Well we call it blue magic. And everyone differentiates between itth and Simon's magic via context, but…, yeh. He looooved to dance. I saw ‘im dance a bit to dodge Papyrus's attacks. Even if he wasn’t really dancin’, he definitely had a sense of rhythm which helped ‘im a ton."

[A skele-ton?]

I can’t help but laugh aloud.

“You missed the opportunity for a pun,” dewey points out in loo of Chara.

“Oh: I didn’t. Pauline’s already laughin’.”

"Frankly," Sans stacks his hands on top of Alphys’s and mine as he continues talking, "it was pretty damn stylish. And it worked. He dodged my bro's attacks, and even knocked him over with it once. Even redirected some bones.”

In a more sober tone, Sans admits, "But it didn't last long.

“He didn't make it far into Waterfall at all. A couple Woshuas killed 'im and got Undyne to bring 'im here.”

We take a moment of silence before Sans continues.

"When he got revived the three of ‘em started arguin' a lot. But it wasn't all bad. They couldn't agree on how to act like around us. Steven said he'd stick by the life lessons his dance and gymnastic coaches taught 'im, no matter what. ‘Cause even if everyone around ‘im changed, he’d stand firm. He’d stay the same.

“And as for what Tailor thought of ‘im?"

Sans laughs. {"Feel the flow of battle!"}

"She said she get in there and do what her heart told her was right. So in a way, her and Steven could agree on what mattered."

"That," Papyrus' voice seems on the verge of a gneh heh heh, "and that his magic was the coolest! He could move things around the room for us. And fill out paper forms with a real pen."

"And he'd ask us to have the TV or radio on in here," Alphys recalls fondly. "He'd move stuff to the beat."

The Inertia Society members continue this way, everyone telling stories about each of the remaining humans.

David,: the human who used healing magic and Undyne’s shields, was the chef, and Papyrus’s protégé. Dewey recalls, “He tried to get Simon and Tailor to cooperate, to help him cook in their room. He saw the good in every monster he met, and he tried to demonstrate to them that he wouldn't stop being kind to them, no matter what.”

Sans, with profound respect: “He even healed monsters who got hurt. And shielded everyone who went through Waterfall with ‘im. ‘Specially the monsters who defended ‘im till he reached Undyne.

“And before ya ask why they didn’t help ‘im fight Undyne? David wanted to abide by her rules. To show he cared about her.”

"Undyne respected him a lot." Alphys muses. "I think he had the biggest influence on her, out of all of them. She saw a strength of character in him which she could relate to, even if he didn’t fight in the same way she did. She even asked him to teach her his shielding techniques. Actually, he inspired her to use green magic in the way she does."

Next comes Adam, who everyone agrees is the smartest of the six overall. The Skelebros and Dewey talk over each other in the process of telling stories about his intellect. How he took notes on the monsters he met. How he stayed with the Skelebros to practice his magic. How he copied down passages from the Snowdin Librarby to take with him. How he thought Undyne's spears exploding against the rocks in Waterfall was awesome. How he'd always say "I reject your reality, and substitute my own”, when talking to the scientists.

How he said he did what he did because he knew he had to persevere, no matter the circumstances. That he had to be open to thinking of some MacGyver-style plan at any moment to escape danger. How he had fallen into the Underground while talking with his friends about what they'd do if a zombie apocalypse happened…

"Duuude Sans like, is Adam why you're into zombies?"

"Yeh. And why Paps is into Portal. And he got the rest of us into horror movies. Those of us who weren’t too chicken, anyway."

"Sweeeet!" I can't help but feel hyped.

{That explains a lot…}

“Funny story about what he was doing when he appeared here…” Alphys says, “He WAS with his friends, but he left the group to do something—and he told them he’d be right back—“

“Let me guess: he never came back ‘cause he ended up here—“

Sans and Papyrus, in unison: “Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances say I’ll be right back. ‘Cause you won’t be back.”

"Then there's kari." Alphys remembers fondly after waiting for the Skelebros to make their reference.

All the Inertia Society members burst out laughing. "She was fun!" Papyrus shouts. "She showed us how to fire guns and stuff!"

"Wait whaaat the fuck!?"

"YES! She had some… airsoft guns with her when she fell down here. She was out with some cousins at a makeshift shooting range they made. They used boards with pictures of people they hated pinned on them for targets!"

"Duuuude sounds pretty sweet." I blurt out.

"But," Will interjects, "how would you even shoot a gun without shooting the wrong person yo?"

"There are places in the U.S. where blind people can own guns under the Second Amendment."

"Huh."

Sans… doesn't seem surprised, somehow. "Makes sense. I mean, if someone insists blind people can't own guns they’re denying ya your right to bear arms."

"And to short-sleeved shirts." Dewey pipes up… and we all cringe-laugh.

"She was always saying she wished she had the power to get us free," Papyrus praises. "For great justice! As she’d always say it.

“That, and when in doubt? C4.”

"Yeh." Sans and I acknowledge the reference.

"Wow but like, all the Mythbusters fans fell down though!"

"Yeah. That made things… pretty fun around here," Alphys sighs happily.

"and it got even better when Kari's one-year anniversary of falling down—like, not into the Underground, but being killed for her soul—came around.”

Before I can snark: “And yeah I know it sounds morbid but I’m getting there.

“That day—and for lots of days after—every single member of the Inertia Society cleared their schedules to come down here and meet them. By this time I managed to build software that could recreate their voices, mediated via their brains and magitry, of course.

“And they talked with everyone over some cake Simon, Adam, and David made.”

Before anyone can interrupt: “And yes you could argue that since the cake was finished every time it was made, that whoever showed up after it was gone could say the cake was a lie and it’d be right.”

“I wasn’t gonna—“

“She knows you know Pauline.” Dewey clarifies. “She’s doing it for Sans—“

“I wasn’t gonna—“

Paps, sarcastically: “of Course not…

[Alphys is like, really thoughtful right now.]

"On one of those days, something really important happened.

“That day, some Inertia Society members were asking about their motives. Their plans of action. Praising how even though they had different ways of solving their problems and interacting with monsters, each of them found a way through, for as long as they could, with what they had."

[She's looking at Sans.]

{Whyyy?}

"While that talk was goin’ on I was thinkin' over their responses.

“What drove ‘em to do what they did.

“How they had the strength to stick to their guns till the end.

How Tailor kept fighting, even with a nearly-severed hand.

“How Adam used his magic to stay standing, even as he bled out. They found ‘im standin’ up: none of the other humans were found like that. Not even Tailor.

“No matter what any of ‘em did, they acted that way ‘cause they wanted to survive.”

{Wow—these guys must’ve been really damn cool and good and smart for everyone to like them and respect them thaaaat much. And only Kari finished middle school—she was only a couple weeks away from starting high school when she showed up here.}

Sans’ voice sounding muffled, as if he’s looking down.

"I… didn’t think it through.

“What I said, I mean.

“It just came to me.

“A flash of inspiration. Like Archimedes runnin’ through Syracuse naked—“

“Waaaaaaait whaaat!? No no no no no!” Will interrupts.

Dewey and Sans snicker all… immaturelike… “Will,” Dewey joking with him, rather than just sounding like a college professor… “It’s true. At least, everyone thinks it is.”

“Yeah.” I verify.

“Uh… Sans?” Alphys asks in a small voice. “Can you just… get to the point?”

“Sure thing.”

[Sans is looking up again.]

“I asked the six of ‘em this question.

“You guys must have been pretty damn determined to do all that, huh?"

Chapter Text

27

"WHAAAAAT!!"

[That's it!? Just whaaaat?]

{I mean what else do you think I should say? It's soooo deeep!}

[Yeah…] Chara haltingly admits. [Truuuue.] But seriously you don’t even stop to think “waaaaaaait Saaaans named the thiiing?” and then say “Whaaaaat!?”]

"On one hand,” Dewey’s, college professor tendencies, seem to be the only habit keeping him calm, "I'm not surprised by this reaction.”

"Kinda reminds me of a crappy Vine montage. Just cut together some screenshots that don’t even begin to describe what you’re reactin’ to and—"

"{[SAAAAANS!]}"

"HUMAN!!! You are finally interjecting in conversation in the same manner and toward the same subjects as I, Papyrus Wingdings Gaster! I am proud of you!"

"{[Yeah!]}" I affirm.

"On the other hand," Dewey… somehow manages to continue, "I'd think you would have taken the time to…"

[He's ringing his hands.]

"—and I don't know, mull over it…?

“Or is everything so uniformly weird around here you’ve just stopped questioning it?"

A verbal shrug. "Yeah… Kinda…

“Well like Sans told me he named the thing just before we saved you so… yeah: I knew already. But I didn’t know how he did it or like, about the stuff before."

"Hmmm."

[Alphys is like, smart dude-posing again and making smart person noises.]

"Well, I guess this makes my job a lot easier. It’s probably best I ask this now, just so we’re on the same page.”

In a clear voice: “What else do you know about determination?"

I say with no hesitation… and not just because Chara is compelling me to do it: "That humans can come back to life with it."

"Exactly.”

[She’s really surprised.]

“Well technically it allows humans to continue functioning longer than their physiological signs would suggest, and much better than their physiological signs would suggest, but…

“Yes.

“If a human was determined enough, I guess they could survive, even at the edge of death, and maybe even heal themselves, but that’s purely speculative.”

{She doesn’t know about the save points. Or saving.}

[Yeah.]

{But how? If she researched it then--]

[It’s… complicated. Just trust me I don’t think she has to know about that right now. You’re here to learn from her… and the sides: I don’t even know how we’d explain it to her.]

{I guess that’s true.}

“Do you know why determination allows its user to do this?"

I recall Chara and I discussing determination in the Ruins, and Sans directing me on how to use his knowledge to teleport Dewey to his house.

I compose myself. "It's 'cause…

“It's 'cause no one wants to die." I say in a small voice.

“If someone wants to use determination, they have to think about wanting to live.”

"Exactly. That’s one way to think of determination. It was the first one we came up with, actually.

“I saw… you used determination to get yourself more gold than you should’ve been able to get, so… you figured out that it can do things besides stop humans from dying."

After a moment of confusion… and paranoia, I remember Alphys’ cameras. "Oh yeah: you did didn't you?"

[I forgot about them too… so…]

"At the ball in Snowdin." I continue to recall.

"Yes.

“Since we’re talking about the ball game, it actually brings up an important point.

“There are six other forms of magic besides determination. When a player plays the ball game in a specific way, a colored flag pops out. And each flag represents one of those forms. Actually, thanks to our research, there’s a seventh flag now, to represent determination.

“Besides determination, the other six forms of magic are as follows.

“Patience.

“Bravery.

“Integrity.

“Kindness.

“Perseverance.

“And justice.”

“Like each of the dudes you were talking about—“

[Don’t just call them dudes—!]

{You know what I mean—and they do too!}

“As you might have gathered from the conversation we had with the six souls, which led to Sans calling them determined, each of these colors of magic is driven by a specific…”

Alphys searches for the right word. “Motivation? A certain way of life? Guiding principle?

“Even now we haven’t settled on what to call it.

You must have noticed, Simon, Tailor and the rest of them had differing reasons for interacting with monsters the way they did, but overall, they all wanted to carry through that plan of action, no matter the circumstances.

“Until their final breaths.”

“And they all did yo.”

[Will you’re freaking us out—I didn’t think you’d be the serious one—]

{True!}

“So you’re right: determination is magic driven by the will to live. It’s the most,”

Alphys stops, probably unsure of what term to use again. “primal.” She eventually settles on.

“Though humans have portrayed magic in innumerable manners throughout their cultures, they all possess an integral attribute in common.

“One that monsters’ conception of magic wholeheartedly shares.

“Undeniably, determination stands as an exemplar of this attribute.”

The room has fallen silent.

Alphys’s voice sounds more… FIRM.

More… COMPOSED.

Like she has thought of what to say for a very long time.

Even longer than just one night.

More like her entire life.

{Why the fuck does Alphys sound like Dewey last night when he got pissed at Sans!?}

[Hell if I know!]

{Like what’s the deal—it’s freaking me out!}

[Same!

[Like, what the hell is she talking about?]

Rushing to think of a way to… condense… Alphys’s description into fewer words before she starts talking again. {She thinks that humans made up lots of kinds of magic that have one thing in common. Even with the one that monsters use.}

“After countless hours of analysis, I have isolated the commonality between these systems, inclusive of Dreemurrite soulology, and of determination.

“Even more than humans already characterize magic, determination is defined as the resolve to change fate.”

Chara and I can’t help but gasp and make other mind blown noises.

“{[OOOOOOOOOH!]}”

“Heya… Alph?”

Sans… as surprised as us.

“It’s not like you to be so…”

[Okay—you know it’s bad when Sans doesn’t know what to say--]

{Dude like… why’s everyone all weird all of a sudden?}

[I don’t know.

[To be fair this stuff’s important. And I’d bet that they stayed up all night trying to figure out how to tell you all this without confusing you.]

“Metaphorical.” Sans eventually says. “That’s real flowery language.”

“I know.”

Everyone sighs as Alphys’s voice reverts to its slightly high-pitched, squeaky form. “I just… that was…

“I’ve been thinking about that stuff for a long time. But I never had the chance to talk about it with anyone until now. It was a matter of…

“Of finding the right words to say.”

Everyone’s tension fades away. “Alphys?”

“Yeah Dewey?”

“I think I should take it from here. Saying that it… I can feel it. It took quite a bit of effort.”

Alphys giggles.

“I’ll explain the testing on the six souls. And if you want to correct me, go for it.”

“Y-y-yeah. S-s-sure thing.”

As Alphys talks, she scoots her chair closer to the table and… puts her head down on it.

“Observing the six humans use magic confused us. They hadn't had a day of formal training in their lives! And yet… they were doing things that would have required extensive education: human and monster.

“So me and Alphys and the others wrote up some formal interview questions to ask them. Then we coded them for—“

“{[Coded?]}”

“Yes, coded. But not in the computer science sense. We wrote down their answers and noted when they mentioned certain subjects. Highlighted each of their answers under a certain topic in a different color. Broke their answers up into smaller chunks that we could analyze, and such.

“In particular, we asked them about their lives on the surface. About what you call, paranormal or psychic, experiences.

“None of them had any.”

“Well,” Papyrus hesitantly says, “Adam believed in ghosts even more than he already did that one time after he watched The Exorcist—but that was while he was in the Underground already. So, gneh: that didn’t count.”

“So nothing?” I ask.

“Nothing. They were only able to levitate objects, or heal wounds, or shoot magical bullets once they fell into the Underground.

"So Alphys and I—but mostly Alphys—hypothesized that determination catalyzed their magic. And that their exposure to the latent magic in the Underground activated their determination."

"So like, you guys thought that determination was what made humans so strong.”

Everyone in unison: “Yes.”

“And if you gave the determination to monsters it’d be the same."

“Yo! That one week of college coming in handy thooooough!”

“{[Eh!]}”

“Obviously we use magic naturally, but yes.

Determination would increase the effectiveness of monsters’ magic, relative to what they are normally able to do.

“Alphys?”

Dewey… turning to one side and essentially talking to the tabletop. “I think you should explain this. For one: you designed this series of experiments. And you lead them too.”

The table shaking slightly as Alphys lifts her head. “Sure. I… I think I feel less… weird… than I was before.”

“What I did,” Alphys explains as Dewey leans away from me, “was that I took measurements while the six of them used magic and saw something… interesting.

“When hooked up to ethergraphy equipment, we noticed their production of a certain hormone increased. These increases did not occur in their resting states. We even correlated the increase in that hormone to the amount of magic each of them generated within a certain amount of time.”

“But like…” I’m not sure how to phrase my question, “what does this hormone have to do with determination?”

“We didn’t think the increase in the hormone was relevant. We only looked at it more when we saw that the concentrations increased when they used magic. It LOOKED like they were correlated, but we needed to know for sure.

"If humans’ ability to cast magic derived from the latent magic they were exposed to, we needed to remove as much magic from their rooms as possible. And control how much magic they were exposed to so we’d know if something had happened."

A short chuckle. "We started powering the measuring equipment using conventional electricity—“

“Wait what do you mean conventional electricity?” I repeat. “Do you guys have superconductors or something?”

“I don’t think so yo.

“I don’t actually know whether this is true but…”

[Will’s like, talking to Alphys—]

“Controlling for the density differences in the walls isn’t really a thing humans have to worry about with their electricity right?”

[Dewey’s… I don’t even know how to describe what he’s doing…]

Chara… awkwardly trailing off… has to mean whatever’s happening is… weird…

“Calm dooooown Pauline hasn’t learned the thiiiings yeeeet!”

Will laughing in delight. “Sorry Alphys sorry Dewey. It’s just, my parents were soooo happy when they found out I was learning Magitry at school yo!”

“GNEH HEH HEH! THAT’S THE SPIRIT!”

Will yelps as… Papyrus… {What happened?}

[He like, thumped Will on the back a liiiiittle tooooo hard…]

“In any case,” Alphys continues, “anyone who interacted with the humans in that room was told to restrict their fields of knowing to their corporial bodies, so their souls wouldn’t set off the detectors by accident. For all intents and purposes, these monsters would be invisible to those particular instruments, and to any monsters who tried using their fields of knowing to examine the testing spaces without their corporial bodies being present.”

“I’d make a blind person joke here but…”

A short, deep chuckle from Sans. “That’s your thing. And I don’t think I’ve earned that. Haven’t known ya long enough.”

A verbal shrug. “Ehh. As long as it’s not shitty it’s fine.”

“Good to know for later…”

“We had them sit at rest, and then perform various tasks, magic-related and not.” Alphys continues. “In both cases, we analyzed their physiological parameters and the composition of their ethergraphs.

“Then, we compared those ethergraphs to those of monsters with the same cemented forms of magic.

“while performing tasks not requiring magic, the six humans’ ethergraphs were not significantly different from the ethergraphs of monsters who were both cemented in the same forms of magic, and who were also performing tasks not requiring magic.”

Chara groans. [Too much math…]

“So like, what happened when they used magic?”

“A couple things.

“In order for monsters with the same cemented forms of magic as Steven and Adam to manipulate the objects they did, they would’ve needed extensive knowledge of physics.

“Which neither of them had.

“If a monster cemented in green magic wanted to affect biological tissue in the ways David did, it would require extensive biological and medical knowledge.

“David didn’t have that knowledge.

“That, and during testing or not, sometimes, the humans’ fields of knowing didn't seem to be restricted to their room. Steven would move things, and Kari would shoot things, in rooms they had never actually been in at all.

“When we were experimenting on them, they knew we were in another room—obviously—but they didn’t know what the monitoring room looked like, so under the Dual Awareness Principle, they—"

"{[Wait heh?]}” is our… unprofessional but completely justified response.

“The “Dual” in the name,” Dewey jumps in without skipping a beat, “refers to being knowledgeable of the object, system, or being that is being manipulated, knowing that object, system, or being is even in their field of knowing in the first place, and—“

“{[Uh…]}”

A bony hand on my wrist. I jerk away, but a pressure appears on my body—

No.

On my soul.

“Curie?”

Sans, in a firm, stern voice.

“How ‘bout I explain this?”

HE grabbed my wrist.

HE’S casting blue magic on me.

“Does the phrase “knowledge is power” ring a bell?”

“Uh… yeah…?”

“THAT’S what the Dual Awareness Principle is.

“But WE don’t call it that.

“Instead, we say “Magic is a matter of degrees”.”

I repeat: “Magic is a matter of degrees.”

“Yes.

“Dadster thought of it.

“The “Dual” in Dual Awareness Principle refers to these two questions.

“To what degree do you know about what you’re casting magic on?”

“{[Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah…?]}”

“And to what degree can you affect the environment with your magic?”

He loosens his hold on my wrist and lifts the pressure of his blue magic from my soul, for the most part. Simultaneously, Chara and I frantically work through the information.

We don’t want to keep him waiting.

“So like,” I say slowly, mind racing, “Simon Tailor and everyone doing all the stuff you said was weird ‘cause they were doing things with a degree of precision that they shouldn’t have…?

“And they were doing it as if they knew stuff that they like… didn’t actually know…?”

A deafening silence.

At least, before Sans lets go of my wrist… and my soul… and starts clapping.

Not sarcastically clapping.

Not slow-clapping.

GENUINELY clapping.

Chara and I exhale a little… anticipating someone to respond.

“Ya might’ve hated gettin’ down all your reasonin’ in AP U.S. History in so much detail… but it sure as hell helped ya now.

“Ya might’ve bitched ‘bout school sappin’ ya of your creativity, but this kinda deduction… you’ve damn well learned how to use it.”

Chara and I exhale a little more.

“How many times do I gotta tell ya?

“Ya got it.

“And ya did it in less time than all the others. Only Adam thought it all through anywhere near as fast.

“We’ve officially taught ya the most important thing any monster learns in school.”

It takes Chara and I a few more seconds to exhale completely. We basque in our smartness for a little while.

“Okay.”

Sans has leaned away from me. “Dewey? You can talk now.”

Dewey, stumbling over his words: “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t h-h-h-have ass-ss-ssumed you—“

“It’s all good—it’s like when my friends talk about the games they play and I don’t get it—they have to explain everything again. It’s fine.”

Dewey takes a deep breath. “Well, in that case, now that you know what the Dual Awareness Principle is, I can explain how the six humans’ uses of magic violated it.

“Monsters improve their precision in using their magic both by learning to cast it on smaller and smaller objects, projecting their soul over larger and larger distances without tiring, and thus, affecting a larger sphere of influence—“

“Heh heh heh—“

“SAAAAANS!”

“Thank you Papyrus.”

Dewey huffs. “Just ‘cause fields of knowing are traditionally drawn as spheres doesn’t mean they’re puns!”

“Course not…”

[Wooow Dewey’s annoyed…?]

“Anyway…

“They also learn more about the objects they’ll be manipulating, so they can apply that knowledge to these two exercises.”

Will startles me by pointing out, “So that’s why sneaking up on my friends doesn’t work yo! 'Cause they know what they walked past. So when I try sneaking up on them, they notice the change. Even when I’m trying to be stealthy…”

[“And—"] I turn to Sans while Chara says what I say to him, ["that's how your shortcuts work."]

Clapping from everyone, and not just Sans this time. "Yeh. Exactly.

“I helped Alph design those experiments. We kept makin’ the testing area larger, and movin’ the monitoring equipment farther away, thinkin’ their fields of knowing couldn’t reach us—”

I interject, [“But they did.”]

"To test how large their fields of knowing were,” Alphys picks up where Sans left off, “we did a double-blind test—”

[Quote Xenoblade]

{Uh… “This is the Monado’s power!”}

I can’t help but cringe… because as bad as the pun—accidental pun—is… it’s the correct terminology…

“Actually, it was more than just double-blind. If that’s possible.

“In a normal double-blind test, both the participants and the scientists don’t know who will receive which treatment—“

I affirm “Yeah—“

“I say it’s more than just double-blind because the participant, and who among us would talk to them, were randomly assigned simultaneously. And we communicated with our assigned participant through text, so no one knew who they were talking to.

“We were sent off throughout the Underground in enclosed, windowless, soundproofed trailers, so we didn't even know where we were when we communicated with our assigned participants. Even if a trailer was just outside the Lab, we moved each one an equal amount of time to make sure we couldn’t deduce our location.”

“And none of you guys projected out your fields of knowing—“

Alphys and Paps… with surprising sass: “DUH!”

"After crunchin' the numbers, we saw: we were right.” Sans explains. “To a point.

“Determination gives a human a much larger field of knowing and ignores the Dual Awareness Principle entirely.

“But it did so much more.

“The hormone they made when castin’ magic in our earlier experiments, its presence set off the magic detection equipment. And THIS time, we knew it wasn’t ‘cause there was somethin’ wrong with our equipment."

Alphys repositions her hands so they are underneath mine. "After they cast magic, we asked them about the, triggering event or desire they drew on.

“Each of them said they remembered how casting magic felt when they first encountered a monster… and right before they were killed...”

I whisper, “The will to live…”

“Exactly.

“That desire manifested as one of the other six forms of magic we were familiar with."

"But," I ask, "what about that hormone? Is that… is that where the determination came from?"

"Yes. It's called DMT. I'd give you the real name but—"

"I mean, I learned some chem in high school—"

"Its formula is C12H16N2. I don't think I need to tell you what it looks like—"

"Ugh…"

"Yeah…"

Alphys laughs. "I can see how learning chemical structures would have been… painful… for you.

“What you need to know is that DMT, when administered, causes rises in blood pressure and heart rate. It causes the production of several other hormones to increase too. Like endorphins, which inhibit pain. It's also thought that DMT helps with anti-inflammitory responses and tissue regeneration.

"So basically, magic exposure amplified DMT’s preexisting effects.

“And the six humans drawing on the will to live gave them control over their bodies they wouldn’t have had otherwise, so they could increase their own DMT production on command.

“When combined with DMT's new, magic-induced properties, they cast magic without training and exhibited the… powers… we associated with bringing humans back from death and functioning when it otherwise would have been impossible.

“Like increased healing capabilities, pain inhibition, reallocating their bodies’ resources to muscle activity and away from then nonessential functions like digestion on command—"

I blurt out in the middle of Alphys’s thought: {“[Heh?]”}

{Wait wait the fuck I wasn’t confused—}

[Well too bad I am!]

{When DMT was exposed to magic, it did all the things they thought would have to happen for a human to cheat death. This includes making them cast magic I guess. Then, they call magic-exposed DMT determination, I think… I mean, DMT’s a pretty convenient abbreviation…}

[Well she could have just said that!]

Chara huffs. [Ugh… well I guess I should’ve known she’d do this. You’re the first human who could understand this stuff on their own after all… and that’s a pretty damn good reason for her to be hyped so…]

"And," Dewey continues where Alphys left off and leans in closer to me, "this may not be all that relevant right now but, DMT has been associated with altered states of consciousness too. It's used in religious ceremonies, mixed with compounds which allow humans to process it. They—you—need that. Humans have chemicals in their digestive systems which break it down so you guys don't get high on the stuff.”

"But yo: if you gave the DMT to monsters, how would we even take it yo?"

"Dude Will I was gonna ask that!"

"'Cause like, we don't have guts and stuff. Not really. Not even Sans and Papyrus do and they’re skeletons so you’d think—" Will continues.

"Waaaait whaaat!"

"You must remember!" Papyrus’s hand clamps down on my head, "We lack all your squishy insides! So that is why we can't be zombified, because we have no brains! So we cannot adopt zombie habits!"

"{[Uh… yeah…? I guess…?]}”

"But but but but wait!" I suddenly realize. "How…

“How… do you guys like… eat then…?"

"If any of you suggests doing a repeat of the ketchup…" Papyrus begins to allude.

"[Nope.]” everyone else follows my example.

Meaning everyone except Sans…

“{[SAAAAAANS WHYYYY DIDN’T YOOOOUUU SAAAAY NOOOO!?]}”

"Exactly human!

“I will clear up your confusion.

“Monster food is almost entirely magic, and digestion is an automatic process where we envelop that food into our field of knowing."

{Whoa Paps sounding sciency thoooough!}

Alphys can't hold back her joy. "I mean it is a legitimate question. Because not all conventional medication administration techniques work on monsters. We did eventually figure out that injection was most reliable though. Because if we used topical administration we couldn't be sure of exactly how much medication had been absorbed.”

“That,” Sans… is trying to suppress a laugh, “and not all monsters have skin to topically-apply things to—”

Alphys rushes over him, “But that came later.

“What mattered was that We finally figured out how they could perform magic so well without training!

“We exposed all six of them to green magic to increase their natural DMT production. And we siphoned it from them. But mostly from David, Adam and Kari. It seemed like the longer humans are exposed to magic, the more DMT they produce. And the more readily they produce it when they need to cast magic."

"So… what did you do with this stuff?"

"My team and I, we realized that we couldn't perform the usual trials associated with human medicines. We had no animal test subjects. Actually, animal life as it is on the surface is exceedingly rare here.

“So instead we…"

Alphys gulps, her voice beginning to shake. "We recruited monster volunteers to be administered determination.

“Using hospital registrars, we randomly selected subjects who had… fallen down.

“At a certain time each day during the recruitment process, we brought them here. In addition to monitoring the state of their physical bodies and souls,we injected determination into them based on their mass, using our preexisting protocols for prescribing medication to monsters. Several times a day, we'd measure their HP, attack, defense—"

"Wait whaaaat!?"

"Come now human! You're not deaf yet!" Papyrus interjects. "You heard her loud and clear! We use RPG mechanics to evaluate monsters' psychophysiological states!”

I stammer, “But but but whyyy!”

{What’s next!? Do they use Pokémon battles to settle disputes?}

[Pokémon don’t exist down here—]

{That’s not my point!}

“You know by now! Mental and physical health is one in the same for us!"

More sheepishly, he adds, “And well, because we lack your squishy insides, and everyone besides Sans and I lack your bones, your metrics for determining health are utterly useless!”

"Oh yeah…

“Using HP and stuff would make more sense then… I guess…”

{I don’t feel like an idiot at all…}

The… sensation of someone’s—

Chara’s—

It feels like Chara’s hand is on my cheek.

I know that it’s not real—tangible—but… Chara being… affectionate like this… isn’t normal.

Gently: [It’s okay.

[I thought it was weird too. It still is, actually.

[To reduce all these things, how healthy or strong you are, down to a couple numbers…]

“'cause like, your guys' stats go down when you're scared and go up when you're happy." I remember from my first meeting with Dewey.

"EXACTLY!"

"{[Jesus!]}"

"Paps. Ya made your point. By Tesla caaaaaalm doooooown."

[Woooow even Sans didn’t expect that!]

He explains slightly more quietly, "It's not perfect, but HP’s the most readily-measurable indicator of a monster's overall health. Like a human's heart rate, blood pressure, concentrations of certain elements in their body, and level of mental acuteness, all in one.”

Alphys continues, “Among other theories, we expected that if determination really did catalyze magic, then monsters could perform the magic necessary to heal themselves more easily, and in the process, regenerate the magic surrounding their souls. Even if they weren’t cemented in green magic, or lacked the necessary knowledge to do so.

“We couldn't perform the same separation as we did on the six humans because removing the soul would destroy the physical shell containing it. So we had to contend with the safety of the subjects' souls from the beginning.

"And… while we were at it, we tried to find a vessel to store all the six, well, hopefully soon, seven, human souls. Monsters can't absorb monster souls, and humans can't absorb human souls. At least, that's what our current theories suggest.

"So, we listed out objects we could inject with determination. We had several candidates in mind but…

“We chose one with sentimental value."

the Inertia Society members abruptly whisper in unison: "That first golden flower.

“The flower that grew before all the others."

Dewey picks up where his daughter left off. "We, wanted to surprise Asgore with the vessel, at the same time as the results of this stage of the determination Study."

Chara barely manages to prevent me from shouting aloud: {Oh God oh God oh God you can't be serious fuuuuuuck!}

[Uh… they are…]

{Alphys made the fucking flower!!!!}

Tense silence.

"So… did it work yo?

“Did any of the subjects come back to life?"

“Oh no.”

{Chaaaraaaa?}

[Alphys', dewey's, everyone's faces… and their souls—]

{What is it!?}

Chara freaking out… is bad. Very bad.

"It didn't work, didn't it?"

I hope I'm wrong.

"No. Not at all."

Alphys seems on the verge of tears. "I mean, the subjects did wake up. I remember it clear as day.

“I was talking to Adam about our study.

“How it was failing.

“How the monsters' families kept asking us what was going on.

“So they could… so they could prepare for their loved ones’ funerals.

“Then Dewey screamed so loud I thought he'd shatter all the monitors. I ran inside and saw…

“One Snowdrake was awake! She was sitting on the edge of her bed. She was responding to questions.

“She even, got up and walked around.

"And over the next day or so, the rest of the monsters did the same!

“They just… woke up! Like nothing ever happened.

“Even our experiments on the flowers were a success. We eventually succeeded in giving one the will to live.

“I followed through with Asgore’s request to give him the six souls, and sent him the vessel too.

“I told the families everyone was alive. And that I'd have them home within the next couple days."

She breaks down into tears in earnest. Ugly sobs, tears falling onto my hands, my HP draining a little with every drop that falls.

She’s… crying magic.

"But it went wrong. ALL WRONG!

“The monsters were fine for a little while but…

“All you need to know was that about a day after the last monster opened their eyes and exhibited seemingly normal behavior, we heard screaming.

“And when we came in… we…"

[Alphys looks like she's gonna faint. Or puke.

[Or both.]

"Even though we had administered determination in the doses clinically accurate to each participant, it had been too much.

“We can be exposed to as much DMT as we want. As long as it hasn’t been induced with amgic.

“As for post-magicDMT? Which we call determination?

“Our bodies can't handle determination in any appreciable amount because virtually all of us lack the physical matter needed to contain it, let alone harness it.

“If monsters are exposed to too much determination they…

“They…

“Melt."

Disgusted noises… from Chara and I…

{I feel like I'm gonna puke.}

[Same.]

"All the weird noises I heard on the way over here…" I put out there, hoping I'm wrong.

"Yes." Alphys squeaks. "You heard the amalgamates.

“They're on the cusp of death, but can't die because the determination is preventing them from dying."

I gasp—then nearly gag.

[She, put her head down on the table.]

"I c-c-c-couldn't—can't, believe I s-s-s-s-screwed up like that." she sobs into the tabletop. "I… I'm a horrible p-p-p-p-person. I know it already—you d-d-d-don't have to say anything.

“I… I kn-kn-kn-know you hate me. So many m-m-m-monsters already do. Lots of Inertia S-S-S-S-Society members left after t-t-t-they found out. I do the 3D-printing because I d-d-d-don't need to work with anyone.

“In f-f-f-fact, I don't really interact with the rest of th-th-th-them anymore.

“I h-h-hadn't talked in person to D-D-D-Dewey until you came here. And I… I hadn't t-t-t-talked to Sans and Papyrus until now either."

"So you did monster experimentation and didn't tell the families what happened?”

A tear-streaked sound of agreement.

“And you couldn’t find a way to fix them?”

Another squeak: “Yes.”

“And you can’t even put them out of their misery—"

{I hate that I suggested—}

Again, I have to remind myself Chara is… ten-ish? Years old. [You shouldn’t. It’s… it’s fucked up, what they have to live through. If they can’t be fixed, killing them quickly is all we can do.]

In a more contemplative tone, Chara muses, [Actually, doing that would be good. ‘Cause the, amalgamates, probably want that. Well they probably want to come back to their families but if that can’t happen then…]